issue 41 || February 2012

January
blues

Job Description

This is not in my

IOANNIS GATSIOUNIS

Whitney

Houston
{1963-2012}
www.theworkzine.com issue 41 february 2012

We have introduced a new column called Language Corner which will be featuring an article in a non-english language every issue. This time round, we have Vietnamese .. use google translate ? Enjoy Businge Abid Weere, Editor

Verbatim

Editors Word

in this issue
ITS NOT A CRISIS Pumla Nabachwa JANUARY BLUES abid businge were THIS IS NOT MY JOB DESCRIPTION joseph lewis CHICAGO SECRETARY WINS COURT BATTLE david schepp SECRETARY COFFEE PROTEST 1977 INTERVIEW: IOANNIS GATSIOUNIS THE 3K TRANSPORT ISSUE ms branch LITTLE BOY arnold kabbale ALL LAWYERS ARE EVIL anite cathy IDLERS CORNER: PASSAWAY gimei mufere MY 2012 RESOLUTIONS stray bird LANGUAGE CORNER nguyen thu thao SPORTS DUMP kabanga munga LAWS NEWTON FORGOT cheem allan PLAYLIST talkative rocker

he 41st issue is here and January has eneded. Now the year can begin. For those who have those valentine things to do , ideas abound but I would advise to keep it simple. After all we are in a global depression unless you are an oil sheikh.

Traditional systems of education churn out robots who tomorrow will apply for jobs and will have no useful skills to offer their prospective employers. As such, all new recuits into a company today are taken through periods of orientation where they are taught the basic of how to do the work. Honestly, why not just recruit 12 year olds and orient them too? I suspect the result will be the same. Its also not like these jobs are that hard to do anyway. The average video game today requires more problem and puzzle solving skills to play than your typical 9 to 5 banking job. Todays professionals take themselves too seriously, refusing to admit that the jobs they do, with all due respect, can be done by kids - assuming those kids are also given the same on-the-job training and orientation. It is unfortunate that we are required by law to subject our children to this useless system. For now I guess we have no choice but to request them to endure it, while trying to find ways to offer them a more comprehensive holistic education outside the classroom. James Onen

the team
MANAGING EDITOR businge abid weere (+256791032469) EDITOR AT LARGE brian b coutinho (+256772888183) MARKETING MANAGER jason ntaro sabitti (+256712815895) SPORTS EDITOR kabanza john lumumba ECONOMIC EDITOR rafayili kayigwa LAYOUT & DESIGN @rhinorck (+256772846642) PHOTOGRAPHY mirrors media POETRY EDITOR talkative rocker

NIC Building Pilkington Road. Short Tower 1st Floor, Room B-03i sales@theworkzine.com www.theworkzine.com
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issue 41 february 2012

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Ugandans are angry. They say they suffer. They are quick to throw stones. And as usual, the stones are directed at the Government. They striked against inflation and BoU intervened to help. Now they strike against the method that BoU is using to help them. There is clearly no winning. I dont blame them for they are angry and discontent and maybe its only because they do not understand the background nor the evolution of what is going on.

Its not a
By Pumla Nabachwa Allow me to say: I am not the spokesperson for the government. I am just explaining the matter as an individual with standard knowledge on the current grievance. HISTORY: First of all, the primary mandate of the central bank is to foster price stability. The economy has been running high inflation (double digits) mainly from global effects (beyond its control). Because consumers want to maintain the same standard of living, they keep borrowing to bridge the gap created by increased prices and this is mainly on household and personal goods. Now this on its own causes higher inflation bse of increased currency in circulation. Again, the consumer borrows to bridge an even bigger gap. And what is the result? Even higher inflation. Again the consumers borrow......You see my point here...its a vicious cycle. Created not by ourselves but fueled by us. This has two major outcomes: increased inflation and a weakened shilling. REACTION: The Central Bank intervened and took a tight monetary policy stance; Increase the Central Bank Rate which they expected to feed through to the commercial bank interest rates and ultimately reduce on credit extensions. The 4

DISCLAIMER:

crisis
transmission mechanism worked and ofcourse, the banks responded and increased the rates of their customers loans. This was the intention of the Central Bank. The main criticism though is that this action is being applied to existing loans instead of just new loans. I totally get this grievance but a contract signed at inception of the loan reads that the rate shall be under variable basis depending on the economic conditions at the time. Who am I to come between a man and his contract? Shouldnt the holder of the loan have negotiated this contract at its commencement? Its not even in small print...its there for even the blind to read. No one hid anything from you. FYI: The lay man fails to understand that just like a pill, it gets worse before it gets better. For your information...inflation is down from 31% to 27% and the exchange rate is stronger from 2900 now to 2300 against the US$ and all this in a time period of 4 months since this stance was taken. TAKE HEART: The worst is passing...the economic fundamentals are stabilising and when they eventually do, in the medium term, the reverse action will be prompted. Interest rates will be reduced. issue 41 february 2012

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January
have no cash. I hate January clients arent paying because its January are some of the phrases that have been floating around in the first 30 days of the New Year. Most people deem January to be the worst month of the year but does it really deserve that distinctive title? David (Auckland) vehemently agrees. I cant stand the darn month. Everyone is either borke or sad. Work piles up and yet it doesnt get done. Maryam (Dubai) differs: you Christians are all hangover on the holiday season because you drunk too much, ate too much, spent too much. You should be blaming December.

blues

...its not a crisis

This complaint is on the table and serious discussion is underway to find a way to deal with old and new loans separately. TO CONCLUDE: When people are frustrated, they block their minds to reason especially when this reason is not in their favour. Its only human nature. It is not easy to talk to an angry man who will not settle till his problem is dealt with. I am first a national too before an employee of this autonomous body and so i understand what is going on because like you, I am a victim of some of the implimented policies. We are all affected. The authorities involved have been in dialogue with the traders. Taking your money out of the banks and closing your shops is only derailing the goals of those trying to help us. We are aggrevating our own problems and hindering economic growth and ultimately development. I wish that the people would listen and understand. DISCLAIMER: Again, allow me to say: I am not an official spokesperson for the government. These are my thoughts for discussions sake and I shall not be quoted. issue 41 february 2012

Stella (Kampala) blames January: obviously its January duh!! I have failed to get rid of the Xmas weight. I hate January. Kariuki (Nairobi) thinks December is the culprit: Decmber is the highlight of the year. You have so much fun and are on an emotional high then you get to January which is like a desert of life. Depression ensues. At least Valetines is around the corner. Walaza (Cape Town) thinks all months are the same: each month has the potential to be the worst depending on your mental attitude and what dice the gods are rolling. I say blame it on the gods. Sheila (Chicago) is in a daze: January is no different. We are in a bloody recession!! Of course all months are bad! Rowan (London) is ambivalent: I think it really depends on how you have planned your days. if you handled your finances poorly in December then shit is bad. If you saved some, things aint that bad, besides the paycheque always brightens up a dull month. I think we can all agree that January is the worst month of the year. 5

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By Joseph Lewis or those of you who are young, idealistic, and just brimming with shiny hopes and dreams, I have some unfortunate news: Life isnt fair. Nor is it reasonable, rational, sensible, logical, nice, or fluffy. Life is strange, ridiculous, cruel, fantastic, bizarre, whimsical, capricious, and just a little bit dirty. I tell you this because one day, possibly one day quite soon, your boss (or someone who wields even more power over your fragile working existence) is going to ask you to do something that you dont think you should be doing. And you are going to be very unhappy about it. These types of requests can take many forms.

The Personal Jobs

The most obvious sort of thing your boss will ask you to do that you dont think you should be doing will be something rather personal. For example, despite the fact that you are a Web designer, the president of the company is going to ask you to go pick up his car at a work site, take it to a car wash, and then bring it back to the office. And the odds are fairly good that this will take half the day, leave you sitting in traffic for hours, put you hours behind your actual work, and force you to drive a frighteningly high-priced car with a fairly finicky manual transmission. This is annoying, though not terrible.

Or perhaps, despite the fact that you are a proposal writer, your boss will stride into your office and explain, in far too much detail, that he needs your help collecting his in-laws at the airport to make sure they get to a family event on timeon your birthday. So you drive to an unfamiliar part of the city and stand at a receiving gate holding a sign while a hundred grumpy travelers file past you and none of them respond to your sign, leaving you standing alone, unsure of what to dowhile your family assembles at a restaurant quite far away from the airport to celebrate your birthday.

Or perhaps, despite the fact that you are a contracts officer, your boss, who drives an 6

Job Description
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This is not in my

over-priced luxury sedan or maybe even a company car, will call you up at the office on a particularly snowy morning to tell you to come to his house in your muchless-expensive car to fetch him across the icy roads because he doesnt think his car will survive the tripbut yours is expendable. So after already braving the morning commute to the office once, you bundle up again and spend the next 90 minutes driving white-knuckled through the upscale yet unplowed neighborhoods where your boss lives, all the while wondering if you will be required to drive him home later that night.

until it backfires and completely ruins your life.

The dangerous Jobs

t is unlikely, but not impossible, that you will be asked to do something illegal at work. It may be something semiminor, like copying a confidential document or emailing data that ought to be encrypted. Sometimes bosses become fed up with rules and protocols and just want the job done, so they will ask you to do it the fast way, instead of the strictly correct way. I cant advise you how to handle a rule-bender situation. You will have to decide for yourself whether the task is really illicit, whether there will be consequences, and whether you personally will be held accountable.

You see, sooner or later, if you are very good at getting things done, then bosses will stop bothering with the useless employees and bring all their problems to you. Because youre so quick. Youre so precise. You know how to do that thing in Microsoft Word. So can you just do this little task for me, right now, because youre the best. Pretty please? Initially you will be flattered by the extra attention. Your boss knows your name, and her boss knows your name, and some bosses from the other departments know your name. Great! But now you have all these other tasks to do, and some of them you dont completely understand, and many of them are due in five minutes (or five minutes ago). And every minute you spend on these tasks is a minute you dont spend on your own work.

Or perhaps, despite the fact that you are a publications manager, your boss will announce that he is throwing a party for family and friends, which has absolutely nothing to do with work at all, but he needs you to run to the grocery store and put together a cheese platter and some fruit to provide his guests with something to eat before the caterers arrive at his house.

But it might also be something major. Your boss may tell you to scuttle a project, or fire a good employee, or falsify data. Or, just as a random example purely from my imagination, to walk into the Pentagon with a bag full of power tools to do a little unauthorized remodeling of a Department of Defense facility. Thats a fictional example, mind you. Completely made up.

These personal requests are clearly not in your job description, but you wont see them coming. They are obviously ridiculous, but they arent difficult. And since you wont have prepared a good excuse for why you cant just run out and do them, you do them. These things waste time, both work time and your own personal time, and they will put you in uncomfortable positions, and they may even cost you some of your own money (toll booths, gas, food, etc.).

Perhaps youll be asked to work on a Vice Presidents presentation (because youre quick in PowerPoint), or a financial report (because youre good at formulas in Excel), or the invitations to the companys holiday party (because youre so creative). You may find this merely inconvenient from time to time. You might also find it more than a little frustrating, especially when you are told point blank that someone else ought to be doing this task, but instead of making that other person do their job, you are going to do it for them. To reward your excellence.

What should you do?

Well, youre in the hot seat now. You can say No and risk all sorts of angry-boss fallout. You can try to find a non-illegal alternative course of action. Or you can do it and hope for the best. None of these are great options, and youre well within your rights for feeling angry at the world (and at your boss) for putting you in such a position, but there it is. This is the sort of moment where you learn something very fundamental about yourself. What are your priorities? Where are the lines you wont cross? What are you willing to risk or sacrifice for an ideal? What really matters to you at the end of the day? Thats life. Its not fair, but I already told you that. < Joseph Lewis is a writer and editor who has worked in the public and private sectors, including military, health care, and technology firms. www. josephrobertlewis.com >

What should you do?

Get over it. Unemployment is high and people are starving to death all over the world. Your ego will survive running a few personal errands for your boss. At least you will get a lot of crazy stories to use in an article that you will one day write about things that were not in your job description.

What should you do?

Manage it. The bottom line is that you have succeeded in making yourself both valuable and popular. This position actually gives you a little power. People tend to be slightly more respectful and considerate of others when they need them. So feel free to push back a little bit and turn down those extra requests if you really cant handle any more on your plate. But as long as you can shoulder the burden, do it.

The Professional Jobs

n a recent article, I counseled readers to go the extra distance to make themselves more valuable around the office by developing secondary skills, including maintaining equipment and mastering software. And that is pretty good advice, issue 41 february 2012

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Chicago secretary fired for working during lunch wins court battle
receptionist at Equity Lifestyle Properties Inc., a position shed held for 10 years. One day she decided to work through her lunch break because a manager assigned her work that Smiley wanted to finish. I thought, Well, Im not hungry; Ill just do this work ... so when I get back from lunch, I can do my original work that Im supposed to be doing, the 48-year-old Smiley told the Tribune. Smiley was under pressure to do more and more work, she says, a tactic that she felt was being utilized to force her to resign. Instead, as the newspaper reports, Smiley committed to working harder, even though the added stress contributed to a stroke, she testified at an unemployment hearing in 2010. From the Tribune report: On this day, a new manager told her she needed to take her break. Both sides agreed that this was the first time Smiley worked during lunch, records show. Smiley told her manager that she had already punched out but wanted to finish the extra work because she thought her break time was her own. I asked her how she had taken a break when she remained sitting at the desk, answering phones and working on a spreadsheet, the manager testified. Smiley testified: I would call myself, you know, being considerate (for) doing the work for someone else on my lunchtime, and I didnt think it was going to be a problem. Smileys boss then told her to report to the director of human resources. During the meeting, the company charged that Smiley became insubordinate and she was fired. Knowing that she was eligible for unemployment benefits, Smiley applied three times but was denied. She then took her case to circuit court, which ruled in her favor, granting her the benefits. An appeals court subsequently agreed with the lower courts ruling, finding that Smileys insubordination wasnt sufficiently egregious to warrant her discharge. Workers generally have to be guilty of gross misconduct, which includes insubordination, Cheryl Anderson, law professor at Southern Illinois University School of Law told Good Morning America. The bar is set high for the employer to prove that, and in this case, the court found the employers argument that her actions amounted to insubordination to be inadequate. As for Smiley, shes true to her name in her new receptionists position. Her current employer has a much more liberal lunch policy, GMA reports. She is free to sit at her desk during lunch or read magazines, Smiley says. And in my area, they have two flat-screen TVs on the wall.

By David Schepp
Chicago woman fired for working through her lunch break has won her legal battle to collect theunemployment benefits denied her by her former employer. The aggrieved employee, Sharon Smiley (pictured at left), succeeded in her effort despite a lack of legal help. None of the attorneys from whom Smiley sought counsel agreed to take the case, she says, because they thought she was bound to lose. Smiley ended up representing herself -- and won, the Chicago Tribune reports. Though Smiley was ultimately successful in her legal fight, she has endured tough times since being fired two years ago. She had to put together a living working odd jobs before landing another full-time job last month. In January 2010, she worked downtown as a

Even Chicago Attorneys Can Learn to Make Coffee womens liberation movement had already shaken up some traditions by 1977, but plenty of employers still expected the women in the office and only the women to make the coffee. When legal secretary Iris Rivera refused, she was dismissed from her job. The firing launched a secretary coffee protest that made headlines. Assuming the Women Will Take Care of That Was a secretary coffee protest necessary to make office workers reconsider their assumptions about gender roles? The feminist advocacy group Women Employed thought so. Women Employed was started in 1973 to organize working women and help them communicate with one another. Inspired by Cesar Chavez farm workers movement, which stood up for the basic human dignity of migrant workers, Women Employed fought against discrimination and harassment. Many female office workers performed administrative duties and were not expected to advance in their careers. Apart from their low wages or long hours, secretaries could be exploited if their subordinate position in the office was based on the fact that they were women. Women who were

The

The Secretary Coffee Protest

8 www.theworkzine.com

1977

issue 41 february 2012

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The Secretary Coffee Protest
stuck earning lower wages than men in pinkcollar jobs had started to pay attention to subtle workplace discrimination. Iris Rivera was paying attention when her boss issued a memo reprimanding the secretaries and reminding them to make the coffee. Job Duties? According to Chicago newspaper reports from February 1977, Iris Riveras boss at the Illinois appellate defender office, James Geis, had been frustrated by the secretaries work performance for months. He issued a memo of several pages that included rules for the secretaries, such as arriving at work on time. One of the rules was that secretaries make the coffee. Iris Rivera challenged her supervisors order. Her reasons were simple: She didnt drink coffee Making coffee wasnt listed as one of her job duties Ordering the secretaries to make coffee was car-

you need a pc tune up from intel

rying the role of homemaker too far

protest, a typical Generation X or Generation Y worker would be more likely to associate the menial job duty of making coffee with unpaid interns Coffee Grounds for Complaint rather than female secretaries. Were women perceived as the lowest rung on the corporate ladder, When Iris Rivera was given notice that she would be fired, the advocacy group Women Employed re- regardless of their position or education, during sponded by turning out several dozen secretaries for the 1960s and 1970s? a lunchtime protest at the law office. The protesters This workplace theme even slyly slipped into epiawarded a prize of used coffee grounds to the sodes of The Mary Tyler Moore Show during the male attorneys. The women also had a flyer ready with instructions on how to make coffee: so simple 1970s. When independent, single career woman Mary Richards came into work late, none of the even an attorney could learn how to do it. men seemed capable of functioning at the coffee Unfortunately, James Geis had left for vacation and pot until she got there. The real question raised by the 1977 secretary coffee protest was about was not there for the protest, but the news media later reported that he would reconsider the decision the role of women and why that role should include making mens coffee. to fire Iris Rivera. Employees of the 21st century might be unfazed by the secretary coffee protest if they are used The issue of making coffee in the office was some- to having a professional barista make their daily thing that Women Employed knew would resonate grind at several dollars per cup. But a few decades nationwide with other working women as a symbol. earlier, women were expected to make the coffee, and Iris Rivera challenged that unspoken assumption. Twenty or thirty years after this secretary coffee Job Duties By Gender

issue 41 february 2012

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Interview

The WorkZine recently tracked down Ioannis Gatsiounis by asking people on the street if they had seen Iron Man passing by . Ioannis is an East Africabased author and journalist known for his frank and revealing analysis of pressing global issues. Prior to his arrival on the Continent two years ago, his trenchant and often prescient commentaries, penned in a climate of restriction and intimidation for publications across the political spectrum, including Newsweek, the International Herald Tribune, Al Jazeera and the Asian Wall Street Journal, secured his reputation as a leading expert on Malaysia. A collection of his reportage and commentaries, Beyond the Veneer, was published in 2008 by Monsoon Books. His fiction debut, Velvet & Cinder Blocks (ZI Publications), ten politicallytinged short stories set about Asia and the West, hit bookshelves in 2009.

Gatsiounis
10 www.theworkzine.com issue 41 february 2012

Ioannis

You have such an interesting name, what does it mean? Do you sometimes get the feeling that you get job interviews just because of your name?
Ioannis (thats an I by the way not an L as some people mistake it) means John in Greek. Gatsiounis is just an uncommon surname, even by Greek standards, so far as I know. I dont think its helped me get job interviews. In Americas red states, it would probably do the reverse!

gossip about this political figure trying to outmaneuver that one using this method or that). I do my best to see through conventional wisdom to provide a fresh yet accurate perspective. One example, broadly speaking, would be that I dont buy that the power shifts in the world are happening nearly as quickly as most people in my profession and the larger public believe. Yes the world in some ways is moving faster than ever before, as seen through the internet and the rate at which business is conducted. But this has wrongly been equated with all forms of change. Some countries in fact are falling farther behind, while others, like China and India, are progressing in very lopsided and arguably unsustainable ways that are unlikely to supplant the current order of global power.

How long have you been doing this? Any retirement plans?
Ive been doing foreign correspondence for about a decade, starting in Indonesia as the country transitioned from 32 years of dictatorship to democracy. That was the beginning of my education on and fascination with development in the Third World and geopoliticsI havent thought about retirement; theres still much I want to accomplish.

If you could change your name, which one would you choose?
Something slightly easier perhaps, so as to prevent my name from becoming another level of bureaucracy. It has the tendency to become a conversation in and of itself (as it is through these last couple questions, see!) In some informal video projects I shoot, I go with Johhny G, or Johnny Gatz.

What drove you to this line of work? Which one did you give up as a result?
Fresh out of journalism school, I covered a suburban township in Maryland. This meant covering city council meetings and lots of other mundane stuff. I knew there was a whole world out there I was missing. And I resolved to save my money and taken the plunge. I landed in Jakarta [capital of Indonesia] some months later without a map or a contact, and hit the ground running. I remember that leap very fondly; it was empowering. And it gave me the confidence to take a similar leap, to Uganda, to Africa, two years ago.

What does your work entail? I mean other than running away from tear gas wielding policemen... By the way, does Uganda have the best teargas you have ever come across?
Uganda by far has the best tear gas and chemically-laced water Ive swallowed. Havent you noticed: some of it last year was pink?

My work involves essentially observing, reporting, and analyzing. Im most interested in the interplay between politics and social and economic development (in contrast to the game of politics and political

Which has been your most amusing incident in the profession?

Having my two books published. The www.theworkzine.com 11

issue 41 february 2012

first, Beyond the Veneer, is a collection of essays about developmental politics in Malaysian and Southeast Asia, and will be of value to anyone interested in the challenges and obstacles countries face in their bid to develop and prosper.the second is a collection of short fiction called Velvet and Cinder Blocks, and examines the cross-cultural tensions between the Muslim world and the West after 9/11. Some of the stories are quite humorous and play like short films, others more poignant and political. Theres a story in the collection for everyone. Immersing myself in it allowed me to explore a different side of my psyche and writing.

Why was it amusing?

Id given up a well-paying though very restrictive media position with a global satellite TV station to pursue the writing I wanted to, and seeing the first book published was clear proof that I was right in having followed my heart. The second one, V & CB, was amusing in that until then most people who had been following my writings in Malaysia (where I had spent more than five years), had known me strictly as a journalist. But on the side, when assignments were slow, in evenings, in mornings - whenever I could find free time - I would plug away at the fiction. No one was paying me to do it. But I enjoyed it; and publishing the collection and promoting it (through interviews, signings) was the prize.

Which of the current crop of movie stars do you think is over-rated?

Ill have to give that some thought. Can I get back to you on that?

Talking of movies, has anyone ever told you that you look a bit like Iron Man?
Yes. A couple people during the photo shoot for this profile (whose names will not be mentioned). Other times too. I dont see the resemblance. Maybe its the mustache, though even when the mustache is shaved Ive gotten the Downy comparisons.

Has anyone ever mistaken you for him? What did they do? How did you respond?
Yes, most strangely would have to be while shooting a tourism ad last year in Malaysia. The boy on set (who played my son in the ad) said, Youre Ironman, arent you? as he clung to my leg.

What are you future plans?

Theres some stuff in the works Im excited about. But Id prefer not to talk about them until theyre finalized. I hope Africa will play a role, as Im enjoying it here.

If you had to kill either Jay Z or Hugh Masekela in order to save the world , which one would you kill and why ?
It would have to be Jay Z in a heartbeat (sorry Jay). While I respect and enjoy some of Jay Zs output, rap and hip-hop on the whole is repetitive and formulaic (in terms of themes, image and melody), obsessively materialistic, superficial lyrically and short on real artistry (though there are exceptions to the rule, of which Jay Z, at times, has proven to be). Masekela has been experimental, letting his soul guide him to explore new musical terrain.

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I am going to be in so much trouble when a close male friend reads this! I am hoping and praying itll be worth it after I get to hear what you all think of this Jack and I were having a cup of coffee at a one of the citys popular spots discussing life, swapping village stories. After the coffee, he pulled out his wallet to pay for his copy of Big Dreams, a book I co-authored with another close friend of mine, Robert. Suddenly, he got a little uncomfortable being seen giving a girl money in public, he was like, People are going to think You are giving me transport? I finished his statement. He was like, well, those things I threw back my head and laughed endlessly till other patrons started staring. He told me about his campus days when he used give a lady three thousand shillings for transport. I couldnt help asking, why 3k and not 4 or 5k? He told me about the science behind the 3k. Well, those days, before transport fares became vulgar, two thousand shillings would be enough to take a girl from Ntinda to Mitchell Hall and back to Ntinda. The one thousand was meant to cater for the phone call at the roadside booth, assuming the girl didnt have a cell phone, which was the case in (I am not very sure when Jack was at Mitchell), lets just settle with, those days His argument was, with the three thousand; the girl wont feel like she has just been paid for a good time. However, not giving her transport would feel like she paid for it. So, to avoid conflict, the 3k transport theory came to life. Then he asked, How is it these days? How do the lads deal with the transport issue? There was a time I got 125k for transport Oh well, thats a story for another day

The

Transport Issue
Ms. Branch

3k

Little Boy
Arnold Kabbale

All Lawyers are evil

Anite Cathy

Today, I found a little boy. He was about 5 years old. He was melancholy and softly crying; it seemed he had been like this for a while. I asked him what was wrong, but he refused to speak. He would not look me in the eye either... Again I asked him, and he refused. Eventually, he opened up to me and in a soft, resigned voice, whispered to me, I can not take it anymore! Help me! I asked him, Little boy, how can I help you? I am not making any promises, but I will do what I can He said, I like this girl at my Nursery School; I have told her before, but every time I tell her, she gets angry with me! He continued and said, I have done everything I can, but she will not change her mind. I dont know what to do anymore! Can you help me, because I am afraid I will lose her. Eventually, he made me give him my word, that I would help him. I will go talk to her! said I... As I departed, I could feel hope rekindled in his heart... I do not know what magic words to say to his beloved when I meet her, for if I did, I would have said them to mine already...

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked one man, Why are you eating grass? We dont have any money for food, the poor man replied. We have to eat grass. Well, then, you can come with me to my house and Ill feed you, the lawyer said. But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree. Bring them along, the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, You may come with us, also. The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me! Bring them all as well, the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you. The lawyer replied, Glad to do it. Youll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high.

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13

Idlers Corner

pa s

sa
This automatically disqualifies expensive sports car owners, taxi drivers and a few friends of mine. Why this peculiar behaviour from the females of our species? I have the answer... it boils down to multi-tasking (forget all the management theory they taught you in school). Multi-tasking means being able to do everything else and keep a conversation running while you drive. No grunting and huffing while you drive eg. I think , we can not load anymore passengers. Ok, this example is off coz that would mean, the chick is in the taxi drivers ride during working hours. 2. Women like guys who work from dining tables Theres nothing as sexy as a guy working at a dining table, ask my wife, and she is an authority on sexy men, she lives with one 24/7. Anyway, as I was saying before I started blowing my vuvuzela, chicks absolutely love dining table guys. U know what it shows? Once again, that word, multi-tasking. If you can work at the table at which you eat, who knows what you can do on the bed in which you sleep. This is common sense and I really wonder how sharp all you guys out there are. I mean, it took me a while to figure this out and Ive just given it to you on a silver platter. I am a philanthropist (which brings me to my next point) 3. Women love philanthropists This is true. No woman likes Bill Gates (or me) for his money. Women like men who like to give and keep giving and giving and giving. Ok,

...

ay

raining heavily and the car... STOP!! Do I really need to explain myself for blogging, on a laptop I own, with internet I pay for in a house thats mine? Hmmmm, I guess so. Anyway, its raining heavily and the car is parked kinda far away so here I am...blogging. I just checked and I have over 50 draft posts some with more than a paragraph. This is a relevant fact, no? Anyway, this afternoon, I am sharing bits and pieces of myself with you. After some hard thinking, I have come to the conclusion that I am the ish. I am actually what women want. I mean, over the years, Ive created a checklist based on what my female friends (who I think wanted me all this time but signed a treaty to all leave off) have said and allow me to finally present the official guide to what women (and girls) want. Disclaimer: If some of the guidelines strike you as impossible, please remember that this is ME (the guy that women want) 1. Women like guys who drive automatic cars

Its

this sounds lewd but its my blog and my mind has since left its gutter days behind (unlike you, yeah you, stop turning your gu head, I mean you with the spectacles and the ka bald spot <-- apply applicable description). CAUTION: Do not give money to beggars while in a womans sight. It only makes you look like an easy target, only give money to rich people. Now, rich people did not get rich by giving money away so they are only too happy to get free money from you e.g. Yo! Sudhir, lunch is on me today. Just pick your spot. Guaranteed, if you feed Sudhir, Kirumira and uncle Kutesa while she can see you, its a wrap. You now have a dedicated follower. This woman will do anything for you. Go buy me socks, and shell deliver them and help you wear them. Take off your ear rings, and shell take them off. Take off your sweater, you know what will happen. There are a total of 5671 rules to ensure you ensnare the woman(en) of your dreams. If you analyse me, youll probably find like 5000, the other 671 I have to tell you. I am a working man so I gotta go. Peace out, Jah bless, Shalom and catch you on the rebound. You have your women only coz I dont want them. As earlier said, I am a philanthropist. P.S: If you are wondering about the title, its a term used to refer to a situation where something alive is passing away eg the taxi passawed the dog.

{There are a total of rules to ensure you ensnare the woman(en) of your dreams.}

5671

By Mufere <the writer has a high opinion of himself. Thats a good thing yes ?>

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Stay Out of Touch

This time of year, I am reminded of the many friends I have let time and space interfere with. I intend to further that distance. I am going to start by rejecting any new Facebook, Twitter and Google Plus requests. I will also attach a message that reads, I am ignoring your request because I dont like you, Sucker! Lastly, I will cuss out loud and then hang up on people who call in hopes of fulfilling their own resolution to rekindle old friendships.

Nag More
Ever since we moved in together, my boyfriend has never picked up a wet towel, washed the dishes, changed a dead light bulb, or taken out the trash without an I-will-go-back-to-my-mothers-house threat. Now, this year: I vow to be relentless in my nagging. I will lay direct blame using words like ALWAYS and NEVER. I could wake up one morning and whine I always, and you never. I also will play the martyr by saying, Forget it. Ill do it myself. And I will amp up the guilt with, I do everything around here. Or something unarguable like, Its obvious by your refusal to slice the tomatoes that you dont love me anymore. If all goes well, Ill be nagging him into marrying me by December.

2012 my
Workout Less
This will actually take serious effort. The only thing harder would be to shower less. If I need to borrow the proverbial cup of sugar, I will drive to my neighbours door and hoot until she comes out and hands it to me, or call my boda-boda guy to collect it for me. I will take elevators in two-story buildings. Lastly, Im going to cancel my gym membership and use the money I save to buy more ice cream and burgers.

resolutions:
~Stray Bird~
Be Less Patient
I vow to be aggravated, exasperated, and ready to blow my stack at the slightest misstep. The next time my co-worker wants help with his workload I will say, Thats it! Clearly this whole employment thing is not for you. If you dont know how to do your job by now, you never will! Now go be a stay-at-home Daddy!

Become Addicted to Something

Smoking, alcoholism and coffee are so stale. No, this year I vow to pick up a unique dependency that people can really talk about like nasal spray or hand sanitizer or sniffing hot glue. Or at least something beneficial to my endurance like crack. Look, I already have a shopping addiction so thats out and I do love me some reality TV; maybe I could offset the bills with a robust gambling problem.

Gain Weight
Stress more
I vow to lose sleep thinking about planning parties, redecorating my house, trying to budget, missing appointments, work conferences, and health issues caused by stress. I will give an evil laugh while erasing all the plans from my iPhone, and then cry over what I have just done. I will empty my bank account on frivolous investments and watch it dwindle away. Oh, waitthat already happened, two weeks ago. Well good, more for me to worry about.

I am going to quit all good eating habits ASAP. I vow to add fattening foods to my diet with reckless abandon. I will start each meal with a generous helping of bread and rolls onto which I will spread an obnoxious amount of butter. I will stuff food into my mouth with such fervour it will make other eaters uncomfortable to watch. I also promise to eat EVERYTHING.

Forget an Old Language

This year, not only am I not going to learn a new language, Im going to force my brain to wither and forget English. In 2012, I shall only speak Runyankole. I will quit doing crosswords and speaking in complete sentences. I will break all grammatical rules: I will misplace modifiers, dangle participles, and end sentences in prepositions. To those that dont understand my mother-tongue, I will express myself through emoticons.

Hold grudges Gossip More

I vow to talk about everything you do in the New Year. If I see you at the hospital for so much as flu drugs, I will tell everyone you have an STI, so you can be verbally assaulted when you try to vibe any of my friends. If you look too skinny, I will assume and tell everyone that you have relationship problems or you are too broke to afford meals. If you look too hot, I will spread word that you are having an affair with a Minister. If you look too young, I will tell people that you have an addiction to surgical procedures because your spouse is cheating on you. This year I vow to forgive no one. I dont care if you step on my toe, or pay me the five thousand you owe me, a day after the assigned due date. You will go on The List in permanent ink and I will twirl my imaginary handlebar moustache as I think about how to get revenge. I vow to hate you forever and never forget how you wronged me.

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Language Corner

Nguyen Thu Thao

K s Vt thc sng Nile

Uganda cho rng sng Nile xut pht t Jinja thnh ph cng nghip cch Kampala 80km v hng ng Bc. Jinja c gi l th ph thm him (Adventure Capital) vi cc tr chi cm gic mnh nh Vt thc (rafting), nhy Bungee, ci nga v Motor a hnh. ng ngc nhin l cc cng ty khai thc loi hnh du lch thm him ny li ch yu l Muzungu (ngi da trng). Ngi nc ngoi sinh sng v lm vic ti Uganda c gi l Muzungu da trng v da vng; ring ngi n , Pakistan do s lng nhiu v thi gian c mt Uganda lu (t thi Idi Aman - 1960) nn c hn mt tn ring gi l Muhindi. Tt nhin gi dch v ca Muzungu bao gi cng cao hn. Hin ti c tt c bn cng ty cng khai thc Rafting Jinja l Equator, Nile River Explorers, Nalubale v Adrift trong Nile River Explorers cng vi Adrift l lu i nht v c kinh nghim tr dng sng nht. Adift tng n tip N hong Elizabeth v hong t Williams t Cng quc vo nm 2008. Cn theo nh ngi qun l Nile River Explorers (NRE) Janne th tt c nhn vin u c chng ch hnh ngh do Rafting Intl Federation cp. Hin ti Uganda vn cha c lut no v khai thc du lch mo him nhng cc cng ty du lch cng chng mun chnh ph Uganda can thip v tr chi mo him xut pht t phng Ty, h th t chu trch nhim cn hn tr ph gim st cho nhng ngi khng bit g t chnh ph. So vi a hnh Lt mnh th a hnh sng Nile d di hn nhiu. Thc ca mnh ch yu l cp 3 trong khi cp ch yu y l 5 (cao nht l 6). Chi ph cho chuyn thm him tng cng khong 150$/ngi bao gm n sng, n vt v mt ba BBQ honh trng mng k vt thc thnh cng. Trc chuyn i, ti hi ngc nhin v khng phi t cc tin cng khng c nhn lch trnh c th g c. Ti phi gi in cho cng ty bn tour v hi thm th c bit i chi Uganda th khng c lch trnh hay follow-up (chm sc khch hang) g ht c ngy , gi m i thi. Th l sng sm th 7, ti bt xe bus n khu trung tm thng mi ch xe tour n. y gi bus l taxi cn bus th gi l coach tht xng ng l thuc a ca Anh. Nhn tin lan man mt t, du lch Uganda kh tin li v ngay c xe m v c bn rau ch cng ni ting Anh xoen xot ting Anh l ngn ng chnh thc c s dng trng v cng s. Do chnh sch chia tr na n nh n , thc dn Anh khuyn khch 31 ngn ng khc nhau ti Uganda v ngy nay

Ngi

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chuyn nghip do tnh cht cc k nguy him ca n. Ngoi cc nhm cn c nhng bn tr vt thc c lp bng thuyn kayak n, nhng bn ny phi t chu trch nhim v s an ton ca mnh. Chng ti cui cng cng c ln thuyn v mt ln na li c hun luyn v cch cm mi cho, cch ngi cho vng v cch trnh nhng cn nc ln. Vn l cu khu hiu c nhc i nhc li: Self-rescue (Hy t cu mnh). Sau khi hi i hi li mi ngi nm vng cc nguyn tc cha bt ng HLV (cng l mt anh da trng tc vng) qung mt ngi trong on xung nc. Em b (14 tui) chi vi trong dng nc nhng vn khng qun bm vo mn thuyn v c mt thnh vin khc ko ln theo ng k thut. Cng nhn l tnh c lp v t gic ca ngi Chu u hn hn mnh, h lm mt cch t ng v theo ng quy trnh. Mi ngi c mt trn ci nhng ngay lp tc HLV qung tng ngi xung nc v chng ti phi t cu nhau. Cha ht, HLV cho lt p thuyn th thch lng can m v kh nng xoay x ca mi ngi. Chng ti rt lunh qunh nhng theo bn nng sinh tn, ai cng thot ra c v lom ngom b li thuyn. Anh HLV ni y l tp luyn ch nc lng ch thc t cc pha lt thuyn (flip) xy ra khi vt qua nhng ch thc ln v mi chuyn c th s kh khn hn rt nhiu anh cng khng qun ch vo nhng bn cu h cho thuyn kayak c lp lun theo st chng ti khi c chuyn khng may xy ra. Chng ti thch th cho thuyn theo lnh ca HLV, tt c mi ngi nht nht phi tun theo iu lnh ca ch huy. Nu bn hi tr chi no mang tnh cht xy dng nhm (team-building) nht th ti s ni l cho thuyn. u tin ta cn mt ngi lnh o ngi quyt nh li/tin hay n binh bt ng; s an nguy ca c mt tp th s nm trong tay ngi ny. Tip theo l hai k ng mi chu so y l nhng ngi quyt nh vn tc ca con thuyn v sau l s nhp nhng ca nhng ngi cm cho. Con thuyn ch c th i xa v vt th thch bng cch tt c mi ngi u lng nghe nhau v lng nghe th lnh. on i c khong 15 pht u tin th bt gp mt vng cp 6, bo m an ton, tt c u xung thuyn v i b vng qua con thc d ch cn li mt mnh anh HLV leo dt thuyn n ni chng ti i. Chn t c th dm ln nn t nhng kh th th cc k hm h v ming th h hc bi quan cnh p v cng ni y. Rng cy hai bn dng sng xanh mt qua trn ma m v cng chnh trn ma y tip thm sc mnh cho dng sng con thc gm go tung bt trng xa. Khng cn phi chnh tc chp hnh xung thp cng vn thy tng t nc mn mng chy khng ngt. Ti th mt vc nc trn dng sng huyn thoi ny nc ngt v m p, ch trch ngi ta bo ngha m nh nc trong ngun chy ra. Sui ngun y khng ch v tn (v mt s lng) m cn ngt ngo tt t nhin (v mt cht lng). iu g n cng phi n, khi vt qua mt con thc cp 5, chng ti b lt thuyn. Cm gic cng thng tt , o phao khng lm bn ni di ci gm tht d di sau cn ma, ti ngp chm v ghi nh phi a ht tay chn ln khi mt nc khng phi kt vo ngm (th l ti khng th bi c). Trong ci cm gic m h gia thc v h y ti th tri dng suy ngh ca mnh cho con sui si sch nhng vn c trong tm t ca ti. Mt chic kayak cu h lao n v ti qup cht chn tht cht vo ci mi thuyn. N a ti n chic thuyn gn nht v ti c mi ngi ko ln. u c ti vn cha tht s tr li bnh thng nhng kinh nghim ti va tri qua th tht tuyt vi. Ti va mun th li ln na li va s nu gp phi s c (va vo ngm) th sao. Kt qu l ti ngi gm nhm ci cm gic th thi y trn thuyn. Mi ngi th ci ph ln v ci mt ngu ng s st ca ti. Mnh lit l nh vy nhng c nhng khong lng, sng Nile p nh mt di la bnh yn v th mng. Nhng con chim sn c ui di (longtailed kingfisher) nhn nh vt c lao t trn cao xung v tm ra nh trn khng ngi. on chng ly mt qung rt di, dang i cch v lt trn mt nc (nh nhng chic thy phi c) trc khi ly c thng bng trn khng. Lng lng trn cch cnh cy l t chim. To-nh cao-thp loi mu sc nh nhng chic n chp nhy treo trn cy thng Ging sinh. Ting chim gi mi nhau l soundtrack ca ci phong cnh qu i tuyt p ny. V n tri tp kt, chng ti li chn t khun nhng chic thuyn tr v v tr c. Mt ba tic BBQ ngon lnh ang mi gi. ng 6:30 ti, on ngi-xe ko nhau v th Kampala vi tm hn v th cht c thanh lc phn no. Ting i Mzungu (Ty i) ca bn tr con bng ng theo chng ti n tn con ng quc l. Jinja, 5 thng 8 nm 2011

c th giao tip vi nhau ngi dn khng c cch no khc l dung ting Anh. V n t min Nam chng t min Bc th cng khng c cch no khc l dng ting Anh dn n kt qu l con ci sinh ra cng ni ting Anh nt. Quay tr li chuyn i, xe tour th cng l mt chic taxi khc c thu nguyn bui sng hm ch chng ti xung Jinja, th thi. Ti v nm bn tr ngi M khc hm h cho mt chuyn i ho hng. Ngi ln tui nht cng ch 24 h l hc sinh, sinh vin ngh h tranh th sang Chu Phi va lm tnh nguyn vin cho cc t chc phi chnh ph va thm thng cho bit y bit . ng ngc nhin l h phi tr tin cho chuyn i thin nguyn ca mnh, ch n ma h nm sau khi quay li th h mi c gi cht tin gi l dn ti. H t ra v cng ngng m khi bit c mt c gi Vit Nam n thn c m nh ti sng & lm vic Uganda. Dng nh khi nhc n hai t Vit Nam l li bt u mt ch rm r mi v ai cng mun qua Vit Nam v cc nc ng Nam mt ln cho bit. Nhng ngi tr hi ti Vit Nam chc c internet ch h, ti tr li Vit Nam c 3G lun ri, ang chun b lm c 4G na. H li hi ti Vit Nam c Starbuck v Mc Donald chavv. Th l mt th h ngi M va trng thnh h thi khng trn tr v chin tranh VN na ri. Trm ngh c khi no mt th h Vit Nam mi cng nh th, mt mt th thy th l vt thng cng lnh mt khc li ngh mai ny ri ai s cn nh cc ng, cc bc, cc ch mu xung mnh t ny y? Chng ti vt qua cnh rng Mabira yn tnh vi nhng gc cy hng trm tui m phi 5-6 ngi mi m xu. Uganda l ni giao thoa ca cc i c savannah vng ng ng Phi vi nhng cnh rng nguyn sinh xanh mt Ty Phi. ng bun l ni ny dng nh b lng qun, dn du lch th i Nam Phi hay Kenya m cha bit n Uganda. Chnh ph th tp trung ch yu vo nng nghip m khng c s qung b v hnh nh du lch. ng x vn rt gp ghnh khin cho vic tip cn cc a im tuyt p tr nn kh tip cn. on tp kt ti tr s ca NRE, Jinja lc 9:00 sng mi ngi c pht n sng v dng c bo h ( xn nhp t Anh). y dng nh l ni tp trung nhiu ngi da trng nht m ti bit trong sut thi gian Uganda: 120 ngi, h n t bn phng nhng nhiu nht l M v Chu u, cng c mt c gi Chu trong on nhng c ny cng quc tch M. C rt lo lng cho ti v tng ti nh con, c s ti cng rt r nht nht nh hng triu c gi gc khc trn ton cu. Ti bo vi c rng gi Chu mnh m m c ti y (Jinja) l thuc thnh phn ni lon lm, c yn tm. Sau 45 pht lc l ngoy cho trn xe (v ng ton g, vt), chng ti cng n c tri tp kt. Mi ngi c khuyn co l li giy, dp, king, in thoi, my hnh v tt c nhng g khng dnh ln ngi v khi vt thc kh nng mt l 99%. Th l chng ti, 120 con ngi chn t kh n mang nhng chic thuyn cao su xung dng sng Nile (trng) huyn thoi. Khi c th xung sng thuyn mi c i ng nhn vin bm ln trong khi chng ti ngi bt v hc cc nguyn tc c bn khi vt thc. K cng l, ton l nhng ngi qu quen vi cuc sng tin nghi v hin i vy m ci lnh 18oC, khng ai ngi ngn i chn t v sn sng qung mnh xung dng sng kia. Chng ti c hun luyn trong vng 30 pht v cch xoay x trong trng hp khn cp v cch t cu mnh. Ch trng on cn dn phi c gng lun a cc chi ln khi mt nc v ngm rt nguy him, kt vo l gy tay gy chn nh chi chc mi ngi khng ai mun lm nhn vt chnh cho phim 127 hours phn hai. on sau c phn chia thnh hai nhm: Cp (Grade) 3 v cp 5. Cp 3 dnh cho nhm gia nh ch thm him na ngy v khng qu nguy him trong khi cp 5 dnh cho nhng ngi khng yu tim v th thch ko di trn mt ngy; cp 6 th thuc gii ngoi hng khng dnh cho du lch m ch cho nhng VV

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Sports Dump

Messi
fter the 2011 Champions League Final, FC Barcelona got all sorts of rave reviews, with most observers debating whether it was the greatest club team ever assembled. This is a discussion for another time. Inevitably, their best player was touted as the greatest player of our time; and possibly ever.The Messiah, The Boy Wonder First, Id like to categorically state that I dont buy into that best ever argument, even being the messi fan that I am. In such an argument, the variables are too many for one to come to a unanimous decision. For example, comparing players who played in different eras is an exercise in futility. The Maradonas played in an era where international football took precedence over club football; players from outside Europe could play for clubs in their home countries and still be considered the best in the world, Pele being a case in point. Also, statistically such an argument would be flawed because if one looked at goal tallies, for instance, modern players play in a Champions League format that involves various Group stages whilst the old European Cup was a straight knockout competition. The World Cup now has 32 teams; there was a time when it was an invitation only tournament! Modern footballers play nearly twice as many games as the older ones did per season.

Lionel

the greatest player of our time?

By Kabanga Munga

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This brings me to the argument about Messi being the best player in the modern era .i.e. from the 90s on. Someone cant be the greatest in a vacuum; we have to consider whom we are comparing him with. I think most would agree that, all factors considered, wed have to juxtapose his skills with those of the Brazilian sorcerer Ronaldinho and the French maestro Zinedine Zidane. All three players were blessed with extraordinary technique, vision and the ability to see things and paint mental pictures that mere mortals just cant. Messis phenomenal goal scoring record, in many peoples eyes, overshadows a very big part of his game his passing ability. Its hard to believe but he had the second highest assist total in La Liga last season! By my reckoning, Messi and Dinho arent far apart in this category, the Brazilian just made every pass every touch on the ball really a joy to behold. Maybe it was the permanent toothy grin. In this category, the French maestro takes the cake. I dont know if its just me but many a time as I watched the French national team in World Cup 98 and Euro 2000, Zizou would play a pass, seemingly to no one and Id spit some un-printables in his direction. A second later, Id eat my words as Lizarazu or Thuram ran onto what turned out to be a delicious through pass. I havent seen any one with that kind of vision since. Xavi gets close though. In terms of goal scoring, Messi outshines his competitors by far. Hes now scored over 100 goals for Barcelona in the past three seasons! It took Dinho 5 years at Barca just to crack 100. And thats probably more than Zizou scored in his entire club career. But a judgement based on goals is skewed in Messis favor because he plays in a more advanced role; and the other two were more of facilitators than goal scorers. Regardless, they all have one thing in common; their goals have taken our breath away several times over the years. Ronaldinhos samba dance goal against Chelsea. Zizous volley. Messi in UCL El Classico I These goals dont need further description; everyone remembers them at the drop of a dime. Theres a certain wow factor these goals have. Anyone, seeing such goals and such moments, feels the need to rub their eyes, ask themselves if they actually just saw what they think they saw, and wait for the replay to confirm. After that all one can say is WOW! One cant help feel a sense of history when watching geniuses like Messi play. Ronaldinho, resoundingly, takes this category. I am sure John Terry, Peter Cech and co. are still bamboozled by that goal; and all the victims of his elasticos still cant believe they fell for it. And we all remember

that surge of electricity when we witnessed these moments. The one factor that divides the absolute upper echelon of players from the decent and the rest, is how their opponents react to them. This reaction is always a good pointer to how great a footballer is because who better to gauge greatness than fellow footballers. When these players have just emerged on the scene, most opponents try to neutralize them by kicking them incessantly; or trying to man mark them in a bid to deny them any influence on proceedings. As their careers progress, they adapt their games in various ways to counter this anti-football campaign against them; more efficient off-ball movement, more economical touches on the ball, you name it. All the same, the way opposing players approach a footballer tells one a lot about his greatness. In a Champions quarterfinal at the Bernabeu between Real Madrid and Manchester United back in 2003 which ended 3-1, something truly remarkable happened. Madrids Zidane was so dominant in the midfield that at some point in the second half, Zizou picked up the ball from his half and casually strolled halfway across the park while skipping over the ball while Roy Keane and co. just backed, further into their box. Roy Keane, arguably the most combative and no nonsense midfielder of the Premier League era! Before the Euro 2000 final between France and Italy, Azzurri coach Dino Zoff was asked how he planned to contain Zidane. He said, as a pragmatist, that was impossible and that the better idea would be to hopefully keep Anelka and Henry, the beneficiaries of his brilliance, under check. Something similar happened in a Champions League fixture between AC Milan and Barcelona

worst fear was realized as he was shrugged off and the pass sent on its way. The rest is history. The lesson being, if you can get illustrious opponents like Gattuso, Pirlo and Keane to be so in awe, they think twice about attempting to dispossess you, you have arrived. Messi doesnt yet seem to have instilled that awe in his opponents. Yes they fear him. Yes they know he can run rings around them. Yes they know he can unleash thunderbolts or well placed shots with a flick of his left boot. Yes they know he can nutmeg their entire defence. And yes they know he scores hat-tricks for fun. But they still throw themselves in his way and they seem to have a genuine feeling they have half a chance against him. I get the feeling it has something to do with his stature and/or his seemingly humble, unassuming demeanor. We also cant underestimate the value that winning adds to a players claim to greatness. In the end, the game is played with the aim of winning trophies, both individually and as a team. The Messiah has been named World Footballer of the Year twice (2009 & 2010), he won 5 La Liga titles, 3 UEFA Champions League(UCL) titles and an Olympic Gold in 2008. Zidane, on the other hand, won the Serie A twice with Juventus, 1 La Liga and 1 UCL with Madrid. With France, he won the World Cup in 98 and Euro 2000. He was also named World Footballer of the Year 3 times, a record he shares with the Brazilian Ronaldo. Ronaldinho won 1 each of La Liga and the UCL in Catalunya. He won the World Cup with the Selecao in 2002 and the Copa America in 99. He was named the best footballer in the world twice, back to back in 2004 and 05.

Through this mini-analysis, I think its fair to say Messi has just about pulled level with Ronaldinho in the upper echelon of elite footballers. Another two years at the top and hell have the buck toothed Brazilian in his rear view mirror. Zidane is going to take some catching though and that will all depend on how far Messi can drag the Argentinean national team in international competition. At 24, barring injury and/or loss of form akin to Kaka, it wouldnt be wise to bet against him. When all is said and done, his ascent into the pantheon of footballs greatest is tied with the fortunes of Argentina. People will always argue that his club success is due, in large part, to the greatness of his Barca teammates and this is a notion that he can dispel only by willing his average national team to a World Cup win for example just as Zizou did with France in 98. Zizou did it with Karembeu, Guivarch and Henry as a winger. Messi should be able to pull it off with Tevez, Kun, Mascherano and co. Otherwise, hell forever be known as El Catalan- a somewhat scathing nickname given to him by those who resent him for never having played a club game in his native land, and his dismal performances for Argentina.

at the San Siro (Barca won 1-0 thanks to a Ludovic Guily volley off another of Dinhos eye of the needle through balls). One moment captured the respect (or fear) that Gaucho had instilled in the Milan side. Just before the said assist, Dinho picked up the ball and looked around. Andrea Pirlo, who was nearest to him backed off. Gattuso hesitated for a minute, and then at the prompting of Pirlo, made his approach. His

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Rock X Playlist

Talkative Rocker

Laws Newton Forgot To State

by Chm Alln
Here are some of the laws that Isaac Newton forgot to share with the world 1. LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. 2. LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one. 3. LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire. 4. BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings. 5. LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you dont want to be seen with. The probability of bumping into someone that you are trying to avoid is equally as high. 6. LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine wont work, it will! 7. LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

This Issues Top ten Rock thrill features the latest singles in the year 2012. 1. Casual Sex - My Darkest Days 2. Bruises - Band Of Skulls 3. Cynical Skin - Get Scared 4. My Redemption - Awakening The Revenant 5. Man At C&a - Anaal Nathrakh 6. Arcane Effigies - Sharks 7. Im Alive - Anthrax 8. Reading Lips - Still Remains 9. Clawmaster - Ghost Brigade 10. I Come Alive - Used
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Wamara K Pamella Pauline Awuyat Barbara Katusabe Paulian Kazibwe

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birthday
Roy Babwets Honey B Marie

happy

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Ssemakula Angel Bulime Joh Johannes Bernard Bahaya Clive Mac

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Jimmy Johns

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Prince Hakim Stinson Innocent Oketch Paul Suubi Gunnernkosa TheretiredEngineer Alexa Kamaliza

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Mwisya Hamza Walter Marvin Mwesigwa Frank Karugonjo von Bulindi David Gavin Esther Wambi Muhumuza Roy Wesley

Rowan Emslie Were Peter Shomane Evans Phillip Ssali Di Fez Moses Muhumuza Mukooza Victor

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Mark Mande Atu Kunda

Mogambi Nyamongo Matthias Lourdel Kylie Mo Florian Pesha Matthias Kitatta Muleme Michael Ronald R. Roy Musiime Moses

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Fiona Agaba Mugizi

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Salunda Shevena Priscilla Mbabazi Abwooli Kansiime Poshie Sandrina Kim Kabongoyi Mutesi Daphine

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Caroline Rukundo Stray Bird

Irene Nabwire Mulindwa Robinah Cleo K Murungi

L.a. Lutara

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Edwin Agaba Baldwin Okello

Omukobe John Bahitya Rogers Kampire Bahana Samuel Rhys Jones

Prossbert Tindi Rugaju Qristiana Nyamutoro Tony Shaka Zulu Olila Mukwano Amos Muhumuza Herbert Andrew Katumba Kikonyogo Nektarios Linda Mutesi

Maximus Baguma Byamukama John Gabriel

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Dominic Mbugua

Ronald Kiweewa Mukibi Sarah Andrew Kapale

Jim Delomera Devi Meitantri

To have your birthday or a friends birthday listed in this section , please send the the details to
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issue 41 february 2012

Events, Ads & Everything Else

25-02-2012
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issue 41 february 2012

Contact Ivory Legal for all your legal requirements on

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