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1

00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,154 Shit.

2

00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:30,834

Shit.

3

00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:31,909 (SCATTING)

4

00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,833 POPPY: Molly? Molly.

5

00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,036

-

Molly!

-

Hey, I was listening to that.

6

00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:40,396 Earth calling sisterling. Have you forgotten

today's the day Rosemary moves in?

7

00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:43,995 Like you'd let me forget? Please tell me you're not going to do anything crazy.

8

00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:45,308 Look, you know I love you, Mollster,

9

00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,039 but there are some things you're just way too young to understand.

10

00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:49,838 I know what I'm doing, though, okay?

11

00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,592

-

Trust me.

-

Poppy!

12

00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:58,836 All right, guys.

13

00:01:58,837 --> 00:02:00,912 Let's give my dad's girlfriend

the perfect Malibu welcome.

14

Everyone, help yourselves!

15

00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,198 (ALL WHOOPING)

16

00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:11,273 You can keep it, or you can throw it away!

Let's go, you guys. You can keep that.

17

00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,954 GIRL 1: I want the bouncy ball! POPPY: You get those. We don't need them.

18

00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,112

-

All right, let's get rid of it!

-

GIRL 2: That dress is so hot!

19

00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,114 Oh, Poppy, you've really done it this time.

20

00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:22,549 Ugh!

21

00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,791 Hey, girls! Watch this!

22

00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,158

(ALL GASPING)

23

00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:34,912 (GIRLS SCREAMING)

24

00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,828 GIRL 1: Where did she go? GIRL 2: Is she okay?

25

00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:48,273 GIRL 1: Is she still down there? RODDY: She's still under.

26

00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,874 GIRL 2: There might be sharks.

GIRL 3: Someone do something.

27

00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,269 Welcome to Malibu, biatch!

28

00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,548 GERRY: Excuse me, excuse me.

29

00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,633 Get up here, right now. Get up here!

30

00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:07,871 Please, go home. Home, home.

31

00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,552 GIRL 1:So uncool. BOY 1: Easy, pops.

32

00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:12,200

GERRY: Go on. Out, out. BOY 2: Yo, Dad.

33

00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,878 GIRL 2: Loser.

34

00:03:13,879 --> 00:03:15,477 Out, out, out. Let's go. Come on. Out, out.

35

00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:19,792 That is the final straw, Poppy. You are going to England.

36

00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,838

-

Let's go.

-

Yawn. The boarding school threat again.

37

00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:27,118 I don't even recognise you any more.

All this is going to stop right now!

38

00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,679 So what? Big deal!

39

00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:32,389 You can just replace me with a newer, trashier version, like you did with Mom!

40

00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:36,678 You are going to boarding school in England, and that's final.

41

00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:39,354 What? You think just because Mom went to boarding school in England,

42

00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:44,673 it's going to magically straighten me out? Do you even remember Mom?

43

00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,553 (SIGHING)

44

00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:56,278 Hi, Molly.

45

00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:01,189

I think you might've

pushed him too far this time.

46

00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:04,435

I know.

47

00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,230 But England's so far away.

48

00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:15,198 Well, at least they speak American there, right?

49

00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:18,590 But who's going to cut the crusts off my sandwiches?

50

00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:23,913 You're going to be fine, Moll. I promise.

51

00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,989 In England, it rains 200 days out of the year.

52

00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:37,232

-

You will definitely get SAD.

-

She is sad.

53

00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,799 (SCOFFS) Seasonal affected disorder.

00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:42,793 Depression due to lack of sunlight, resulting in acne and weight gain.

55

00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,713

-

POPPY: What?

-

What? I saw it on <i>Dr. 90210.</i>

56

00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:48,395 (GASPS)

57

00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,075 Not those shoes. They don't do rain.

58

00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,631 Just take them.

59

00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,473 Hey, you promise we'll talk every day? Swear on your life?

60

00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:03,509 Dude, who loves ya? Everything's going to suck without you.

61

00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:07,752 POPPY: Ruby, you're my best friend. I'm going to miss you so much.

62

00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:10,513 I know, let's check out their website.

63

00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,710 (TYPING)

64

00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,313

-

Oh, my God!

-

Oh, my God!

65

00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,349 "Abbey Mount School is an independent boarding school

66

00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,273

- "for girls aged 11 to 17."

- Oh, my God.

00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,954 POPPY: "Founded in 1797,

68

00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:31,953 "the school is one of England's top institutions for young ladies."

69

00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,874 It's all brick! Please tell me that's not in the countryside.

70

00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:45,469

Ugh!

71

00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:55,793 Excuse me.

72

00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,351 Hello. How are you?

73

00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,112

-

All right, Kate?

-

Yes, thanks.

74

00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:11,269 MRS KINGSLEY: Very good.

75

00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,950 Mr Moore? I'm Mrs Kingsley.

76

00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:22,192

Oh, please, call me Gerry. Thank you.

I

am so grateful.

77

00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:25,039 I'm happy we could help out.

78

00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,798 She's going through rather a difficult stage.

79

00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:32,635 Just leave it to me, Mr Moore.

I

have a double first in difficult.

80

00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,954

- Hello, how are you?

- Hi.

81

00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:38,519

-

Good holiday?

-

GIRL 1: Yeah.

82

00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:39,749 Good.

83

00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:48,797 Hello, Poppy. Welcome to Abbey Mount. I'm Mrs Kingsley, your headmistress.

84

00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,233 Look, I understand you're just

85

00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:51,753 Uh-uh, uh-uh.

86

00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:56,911 Lesson number one, Poppy. To me negotiation is like a nightclub.

87

00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,675 Not something I tend to enter into. Now come along.

88

00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:03,668

-

-

Hello.

Hi.

89

00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,716 How are you?

90

00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:12,719 Wow.

91

00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,028 GIRL 1: Who's she? GIRL 2: Wow.

92

00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,439 Is she new?

93

00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,717

- Wow.

- GIRL 3: Look at those shoes.

94

00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,074 GIRL 4: Look at her.

95

00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:24,551 Poppy, this is Kate. She'll be your big sister at Abbey Mount.

96

00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:26,517 You'll soon settle in.

97

00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,709

-

Hi, how do you do?

-

I already have a sister.

98

00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,598 It's just school lingo. I'll be your friend, a helping hand, that's all.

99

00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:37,800 Okay, but I choose my friends, and FYI, you don't make the cut.

100

00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:41,714 I'm sure that comment would sting a lot more if I knew what FYI meant.

101

00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:46,510 But, for the moment, let's just pretend it's had the desired effect, shall we?

102

00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:51,276 Saddle up, girls. We've got ourselves a bronco.

103

00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:54,636 Mrs Kingsley, a gift.

104

00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,234 One for you and one for Freddie.

105

00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:58,669 Oh.

106

00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,679

- Thank you.

- I shot them myself.

107

00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,955 Oh, I don't doubt that you did.

108

00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:07,669 Well, perhaps you'd like to keep a hold of them while I welcome back the first years.

109

00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,637 Nice thought, though.

110

00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,715 (HARRIET SPEAKING LATIN)

111

00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,436 Harriet. Head Girl.

112

00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:28,554 You shake the hand of the Head Girl out of respect.

113

00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:33,316 When the Head Girl has earned my respect, then I'll shake her hand, biatch.

114

00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,630

- I'm sorry?

- Apology accepted.

115

00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:44,434 Stunningly horridious ego desperately seeks a good bashing.

116

00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,829 Can we oblige? Methinks so.

117

00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,509 JANE AND CHARLOTTE: We think so, too.

118

00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,992 I'll call you tomorrow morning, as soon as I'm back in LA.

119

00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,230 I hope your flight gets seriously delayed.

120

00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:58,799 (CHUCKLES)

121

00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,792 And I hope your bags end up in Kazakhstan.

122

00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,714 I'll come back for you at the end of the semester, all right?

123

00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:12,031 Sweetheart, you know I love you.

124

00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:19,511 (CAR ENGINE STARTING)

125

00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,075 Bye.

126

00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,077 (THUNDER RUMBLING)

127

00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:44,719 (SIGHING)

128

00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,553 <i>(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)</i>

129

00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:55,076 DRIPPY: I have to find this CD to play for you guys. There it is.

130

00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,116 You can borrow them, but only indoors.

131

00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,794 DRIPPY: Yeah, my mum won't let me wear high heels.

132

00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:02,519 JOSIE: I've got to be reserve because I'm not there all the time.

133

00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,113 KIKI: I heard this on the radio.

134

00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,679

- Thank you.

- DRIPPY: Nice catch.

135

00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:13,076 Excuse me.

136

00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:16,550 Hi. I've been assigned this room.

137

00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:20,158 You need to leave.

138

00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,869 Oh, wow, communal.

139

00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:29,158 Well, it's bed number five or the corridor. Your choice, mate.

140

00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,239 Move your stinking socks, Drippy.

141

00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:41,317 (EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

142

00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:43,594 Gross.

143

00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:46,352 (GIRLS CHATTERING)

144

00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:52,594 You lock away your chocolate?

145

00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:56,195 Key information, if it's the Wagon Wheel versus the Rolex,

146

00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,874 the Wagon Wheel is going to trounce it every time.

147

00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:02,999

- What's a Wagon Wheel?

- Jesu Christi, you have not lived!

148

00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:06,675 Ew!

149

00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:11,117

- That's carbs and sugar.

- What a revelation. I had no idea.

150

00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,197 (CELL PHONE BEEPING)

151

00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:20,433

- What the bleep is that?

- None of your bleeping business.

152

00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:21,714 It's an iPhone.

153

00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:26,078 Good luck getting a signal. We only have two hot spots that work round here.

154

00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,470 Maybe you should try entering the 21st century, Buck Rogers.

155

00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:33,314 This place is medieval. It's imperative that I make my phone calls.

156

00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,915 It's pointless anyway. We're only allowed mobiles on weekends.

157

00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,036 How am I supposed to call my therapist?

158

00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,155 (GIRLS CHUCKLING)

159

00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:45,439 She's joking, right? Oh, sweetheart, this is not <i>Beverly Hills, 90210.</i>

160

00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:48,637 Just put it away before Matron catches you.

161

00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,792

- Where's your trunk?

- Hasn't been delivered yet.

162

00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:08,838 (POPPY EXCLAIMS)

163

00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:10,478 No.

164

00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:16,078 No, no, no. Not the new season Gucci. No. The Choos. No!

165

00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:19,630 This is all only hand-washable. This is ridiculous.

166

00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:22,553

- Why

- What? I might get thirsty.

167

00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:26,235 You know, in the UK we have this amazing thing. It's called a tap.

168

00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,470

Welcome back, girls.

169

00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:35,678 Oh, good, staff. How quickly can you get all this stuff cleaned?

170

00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,398

- Is she

- American.

171

00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:42,156 Oh, yes, we had one of those in 1997. Not good.

172

00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:46,358 Accustom her to my rules, and she should be in the correct uniform for a start.

173

00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,635 Mobile phones, please, girls.

174

00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,598 Thank you, Kiki. Thank you, Josie. Thank you, Kate.

175

00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:57,878 Whoa! Hands off, mama. I said, hands off.

176

00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,670 (POPPY QUESTIONING IN SPANISH)

177

00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:04,915

I am Scottish, not remedial.

178

00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:09,471 Good, then you understand. Line dry, press, no starch, and no creases.

179

00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:12,120 How dare you? No mufti for a week.

180

00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,998 Fine. Mufti may be your thing, lady, but it sure ain't mine.

181

00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:18,834

- She means no home clothes for a week.

- Like I give a shit.

182

00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,672

- I'll be gone by then.

- Language!

183

00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,273

Two Sundays detention. For the whole dorm.

184

00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:23,429 (GIRLS SIGH)

185

00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,875 I'll deal with this. Look, hey. Hey.

186

00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:29,919 Here's a Ben Franklin. Why don't you go out and buy yourself

187

00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:34,437 Well, anything. Whatever you get will be a serious improvement.

188

00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:37,910

Three Sundays. For everyone.

189

00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,672

(GIRLS GROANING)

190

00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:44,679

- Thanks a lot for that, you utter moron.

- What are you, mental?

191

00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:48,912 What? She was a grade one a-hole with a severe attitudinal problem.

192

00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,788 The bell's going to go in a minute. Just put your uniform on.

193

00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:54,753

(BELL RINGING)

194

00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:55,875

Now!

195

00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,873 KATE: You will never get away with that uniform, for start,

196

00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:03,635 and FYI, no drinking, no smoking, no alcohol.

197

00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:07,872 No fireworks, no dangerous weapons, no illegal drugs.

198

00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:11,475 If you have a problem with someone, no random bitching. Structure your point.

199

00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:14,154 No Web surfing, no bullying.

200

00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,755 So, if you behave like an arsehole, we all suffer, so do not get us in your shit

201

00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,957

- or we will break you.

- Oh, I'm scared.

202

00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,713

- GIRLS: Hi, Kate. Hi, how are you? Hi, Kate!

- Hello.

203

00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,792 What are you, like, prom queen or something?

204

00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:28,313 Kate's got a terrible affliction.

205

00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,597 You're actually lucky that you don't have it. It's called popularity.

206

00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:34,035 Hey, get up. Wait for Mrs Kingsley and the prefects.

207

00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,553

Screw them.

208

00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,474

That's physical abuse. I'm calling my lawyer.

209

00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,949

With what?

210

00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,918

Well, hello, Freddie.

211

00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,788

How kind of you to grace us with your gorgeous presence.

212

00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:53,953 And cue Harriet in three, two, one

213

00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,794

- Subject's moved in on target.

- And we have contact.

214

00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,277

- Walk, Annabelle.

- BOTH: Walk, Annabelle.

215

00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,952

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

216

00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,428 DRIPPY: I love that Freddie's always here at the beginning of term.

217

00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,909 Such a perfect welcome back.

218

00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,514

- So, who is Freddie?

- Mrs Kingsley's son.

219

00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,068 Devastating heartthrob. Won't look at any of us since he got caught

220

00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:21,119 playing doctors and nurses with a girl in the third grade when he was 11.

221

00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:22,679 Massive hoo-hah.

222

00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:27,436

- They're not together now, though.

- 'Cause of her massive hoo-hah?

223

00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:30,876 No. Fraternizing is forbidden.

224

00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,439

WAITRESS: Here you go.

225

00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,997

- I can't eat this.

- Anorexia or bulimia?

226

00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,152 Because if it's bulimia we'd rather you didn't eat other people's birthday cake

227

00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,629 on their birthdays. It's such a waste.

228

00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:48,395 Actually, I'm a pescetarian Monday through Wednesday,

229

00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:52,268 fruitarian Thursday through Sunday and vegetarian always.

230

00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:57,874 For what we are about to receive

231

00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,996

(CHANTING)

232

00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,113

ALL: Amen.

233

00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:06,992

(SPEAKING HINDI)

234

00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:25,110

- KATE: (WHISPERS) Get out of the way!

- Hey, watch the shmere, girlfriend.

235

00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,270 Two hundred goats died for this.

236

00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:31,797 We meet again. How sublime. Learn the rules.

237

00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:34,713 When it comes to right of way, there is a hierarchy.

238

00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:40,352 Teachers, prefects, scholars, dogs, vermin, Americans.

239

Kate? See to it she falls in line.

240

00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,636 What is this place? Hogwarts?

241

00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:52,990

- Bedtime, girls.

- KATE: Night.

242

00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:59,111 The correct school uniform. Wear it. Bed.

243

00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,195 Poppy Moore, bed! Now!

244

00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:11,836 (MR NELLIST GREETING IN FRENCH)

245

00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:13,956 (GIRLS GREETING IN FRENCH)

246

00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,752 (PANTING) Right.

247

00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:22,231 Translation today, everyone. So, PDF, pretty damn straightforward.

248

00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:27,952 Ergo, which means? Anyone? Ergo?

249

00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,554

- Oh, Mr Nellist.

- Yes, Drippy.

250

00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:35,156

- "Er, leave"?

- Luddite. No, it means therefore, Drippy.

251

00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:39,028 Therefore, you'll probably finish early, which means that you'll have lots of time

252

00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:42,829 to ask me questions about my trip to Champagne with my girlfriend.

253

00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:48,552 Now, sadly, my ex-girlfriend. Though she was my girlfriend at the time.

254

00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,119 (GIRLS GIGGLING)

255

00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,230 Put the headphones on, please.

256

00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:03,794 Hi, guys. You don't happen to have any eyebrow tint, do you?

257

00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,074

GIRLS: No.

258

00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,674 Do you guys have any eyebrow tints?

259

00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,433 <i>(POP MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)</i>

260

00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:15,558 (WHISPERING) Apparently, California girls wax their bums.

261

00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,029

KATE: What? Why?

262

00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:20,839

DRIPPY: To look Brazilian. Makes it more attractive.

263

00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,399 If you say so.

264

00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:29,317

- Do you think she's done it?

- Hundred percent.

265

00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:33,234 She's definitely done the missionary and almost certainly the Lebanese fulcrum.

266

- I can tell.

- How?

267

00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:38,635 From the angle of her hips.

268

00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,670 Can I help you?

269

00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:49,275

- Is there a problem?

- How many boys have you shagged?

270

00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:55,954 Well, there was Brandon, eight-pack. Chase, jock.

271

00:18:56,040 --> 00:19:00,477 Tyler. Bajillionaire. Derek. He was Kelly Slater's cousin.

272

00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:04,075 And, oh, Jack. He was all-around sick.

273

00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:08,631

- Christ.

- I mean sick body, sick mind.

274

00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:12,429

- Shit! Kate!

- Sorry, Drip. It looked lighter on the box.

275

00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:15,998 (DRIPPY WHINING)

276

00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:22,039 That is butters. Better not stop me pulling at the social.

277

00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,112 Honey, eyebrows are the least of your worries.

278

00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,228

MATRON: Lights out, girls. Everyone into bed.

279

00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:29,878 KIKI: Night, Matron. KATE: Night.

280

00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,518

(DRIPPY GROANING)

281

00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:35,752

- KATE: Hey, switch that off!

- No wireless. Should have known.

282

00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,229 KIKI: Internet is only allowed in the computer room.

283

00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,515 Whoa! We are not allowed out of bed after lights out.

284

00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,556

- Oh, look. They're not out.

- KATE: Hey!

285

00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:43,755 KATE: What are you doing?

286

00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,229

KIKI: Come back. KATE: Get back into bed!

287

00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:49,073 <i>POPPY: Dear Ruby, oh, my God.</i> <i>Two weeks in this place</i>

288

00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:50,639 <i>and I'm going out of my mind.</i>

289

00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,154 <i>These girls are all ugly losers</i> <i>who think a mani-pedi</i>

290

00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,595 <i>is some kind of Latin greeting.</i>

291

00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:08,952 (DRIPPY GROANING)

292

00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,233 Mmm!

293

00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:41,753

(SOFTLY) Ew.

294

00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:45,676

(BELL RINGING)

295

00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,115

- MATRON: Come on! Fire practise!

- Shit!

296

00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,111 MATRON: Remove yourselves to the quad immediately.

297

00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,556 Come on. You know the drill, for goodness sakes.

298

00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,837 Come on, stop being so slovenly. Hurry up. Kiki.

299

00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,592 (FIRE ALARM BLARING)

300

00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,197 (EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

301

00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,750 MATRON: Come on, girls! Hurry up!

302

00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:15,118 What if there was a real fire? We'll all be burned to a crisp.

303

00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:21,795 (WATER SPLASHING)

304

00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,598 FREDDIE: Hey, who's there?

305

00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,318 Poppy.

306

00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:31,473

- FREDDIE: Last name?

- Moore. Poppy Moore, sir.

307

00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:36,508

Well, Moore, Poppy Moore, this is a fire practise.

308

00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,910

- Sorry, I'm new here.

- FREDDIE: Yes, that's obvious.

309

00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,752 But weren't you listening in physics class?

310

00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,195 Fire tends to be hot, and the point is to avoid it.

311

00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,999

Okay. Where do I go?

312

00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,719 FREDDIE: Out the door, turn left, and down the stairs.

313

00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:53,270 POPPY: Run towards the bright orange flickery thing. Right?

314

00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:58,559

- FREDDIE: Oh, and try not to get caught.

- Excellent point, sir.

315

00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,437

<i>(RAP SONG PLAYING)</i>

316

00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,398 SARA: Lovely, Harriet.

317

00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:19,669 Ew!

318

00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,989 Crack on, team. Lovely stick work, Harriet.

319

00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:34,269 Hi.

320

00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:36,430

- Hello, Mr Nellist.

- MR NELLIST: Hello, hello.

321

00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,716 Well, super, super effort.

322

00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:45,918 We may not win the championships, but we'll win a lot of friends, yeah?

323

00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,877

So bloody English.

324

00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,556 Really. And you could do better?

325

00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:55,758 Laugh it up, but I could whip all of your asses blindfolded.

326

00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,673

This I'd love to see.

327

00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:02,799 Oh, it's on like <i>Donkey Kong.</i> Do your worst, horse face.

328

00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:25,913 (WHISTLES)

329

00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:30,478 (BOTH SHOUTING)

330

00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,070 Foul! Body check. Body check!

331

00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:40,275 (HARRIET AND POPPY SCREAMING)

332

00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:41,759

Please!

333

00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:42,875 (CAR HONKING)

334

00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:46,430

- HARRIET: Perfectly legal.

- Shouldn't you guys be in bikinis for that?

335

00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,112 Hi, Fredster. Dig the car.

336

00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:49,269 (CAR REVVING)

337

00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,999

- Hello, Moore. Poppy Moore.

- Hi.

338

00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:53,949 Hey!

339

00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:57,829 Bye.

340

00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:01,476 Ooh, do you love Fredster?

341

00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,996

- Do you want to kiss Fredster on the lips?

- Don't be so immature.

342

00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:08,595 Don't try and hide it, honey. We've got ourselves a SULA.

343

00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,319 Sweaty Upper Lip Alert.

344

00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:12,992 (GIRLS GIGGLING)

345

00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:15,318 (HARRIET WHIMPERS)

346

00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:20,116 How on Earth did Freddie know her name? You may depart.

347

00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:23,755

- But, I still have to turn down your bed.

- Get out!

348

00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:30,272

I don't understand. Freddie's got a crush on me.

349

00:24:30,360 --> 00:24:31,952

Why was he looking at her?

350

00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:36,079 He was looking at her so he didn't come across as looking at you.

351

00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,913 He needs to be careful. He can't get caught.

352

00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:43,152 Yeah, and if he looked at you too much, he wouldn't be able to control himself.

353

00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:48,951 Like, when I have to look sad, I think about horses being slaughtered.

354

00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:52,794 So to Freddie, Poppy's the equivalent of a slaughtered horse.

355

00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,791 You're probably right.

356

00:24:54,880 --> 00:25:00,318 But we're going to have to do something about little Miss USA.

357

00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:04,234 She needs a lesson in exactly who's boss, methinks.

358

00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:05,958 BOTH: We think so, too.

359

00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:11,308

- I didn't start it. It wasn't my fault.

- Go out and close the door.

360

00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:12,833 But you asked to see me.

361

00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:16,196 Yes, well, you have to knock before you enter.

362

00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,511 POPPY: I can't believe it. This is all horse face's fault!

363

00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:20,669 (KNOCKING ON DOOR)

364

00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:22,955 Who is it?

365

00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:24,553 Jesus Christ!

366

00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,359 Oh, dear. We were led to believe you had a beard and sandals.

367

00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:30,557 Now, we'll have to change that stained-glass window in the school chapel.

368

00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:35,430 Look, I didn't start it, it wasn't my fault, and if this were America, I would sue.

369

00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:39,149 That girl is a grade one a-hole with a severe attitudinal problem.

370

00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,595 I know perfectly well what happened, Poppy.

371

00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,193 Then why isn't Harriet here too?

372

00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,716 Because, unsurprisingly, it's you I want to talk to.

373

00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:51,792 Look, I know it's very difficult being the only new girl in your year.

374

00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,348 You mean, the only normal girl.

375

00:25:55,720 --> 00:26:01,158

- What do you like to read, Poppy?

<i>- OK Magazine, People, Us Weekly.</i>

376

00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,312 Well, might you be able to tackle such a thing as a book?

377

00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,119

- I prefer movies.

- Well, my personal library

378

00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:10,795 seems to be missing the book version of <i>Freaky Friday.</i>

379

00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:13,189 So, perhaps you might try this.

380

00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,677 Oh, my uncle's producing the film version.

381

00:26:17,678 --> 00:26:20,874 <i>Alice in Wonderland</i> was originally a book.

382

00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:24,236

You might surprise yourself and actually enjoy it.

383

00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,231 (SCOFFS) This is my punishment?

384

00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:28,599 This school is so weird.

385

00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,274 What do you want

to get out of this school, Poppy?

386

00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:33,794 To get out of this school.

387

00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:37,714 You know, this school has produced absolutely nobody of note.

388

00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:41,793 Our leading light was the girl who was Princess Diana's foot doctor.

389

00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:45,077 So, if your aim is to make the pages of <i>Us Weekly,</i>

390

00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,594 then this isn't the place for you.

391

00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:52,196

What we do produce are smart, independent, free-thinking,

392

00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,431

good-hearted girls who remain friends for life.

393

00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:02,195 The kind of girl that, behind all your wisecracks, I know you are.

394

00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:06,956 Run along now, I must get on. My in-tray is piling up.

395

00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,114 Not brown enough. More coffee.

396

00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:27,395 (GRUNTS)

397

00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,198 More elbow grease.

398

00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,272 You're ageing these clothes,

not stirring your tea.

399

00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:34,920

I need complete authenticity.

400

00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:37,914 (SIGHS)

401

00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:42,872 Charlotte heard Freddie say

I looked exactly like Keira Knightley.

402

00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:58,111 Right! That's done. Empty the water.

403

00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:01,873 Not that way, fool. You'll spill it. Out the window.

404

00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,679

- Out the window?

- Just get on with it.

405

00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:08,348 Are you sure?

406

00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,278 (POPPY GASPS)

407

00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:13,875 (GASPS)

408

00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:18,636 So sorry. Just can't trust the help these days.

409

00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,915 Do you have a pass to be out during lessons?

410

00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:27,348

- Oh, yeah, I do. It's right here!

- Well, don't walk on the grass.

411

00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:38,514 (SIGHS)

412

00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:05,157 For the tenth time, you need to make your bed.

413

00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:12,955 Jesus. What's so bloody hard? Pick up. Put down. It's not rocket science.

414

00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:29,871

Sit down. I'll do that.

415

00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:34,554

Thanks.

416

00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,497 You're freezing. You need a jumper.

417

00:29:39,498 --> 00:29:42,034

Whatever that is, I don't think I have one.

418

00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:45,669 I don't think I have anything thicker than prosciutto.

419

00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:55,388 Thanks. I didn't really come prepared. Didn't figure I'd be here this long.

420

00:29:56,720 --> 00:30:00,429 Nothing worse than the only message you get all day being from the phone company.

421

00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,114 But Matron took all the phones.

422

00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:06,670 No. She took all your phones. She took our decoys.

423

00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:11,151 She has no idea that none of them work. We keep our real phones hidden.

424

00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:16,397 Here. Call your parents. Call your therapist. Knock yourself out.

425

00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:21,029 But why would you do this for me? You think I'm a total asshole.

426

00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:24,874 No, you behave like an arsehole. There's a difference.

427

00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:33,078 Look, I know that I'm not some Malibu therapist,

428

00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:38,234 but I can guess that you're feeling scared and a little bit homesick.

429

00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:44,720 Which, in my experience, doesn't actually make you a bad person. Just a normal one.

430

00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:51,878 Sweet photo.

431

00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:55,278 Is it your mum?

432

00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:00,155 She going to come out and visit?

433

00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,518 She died in a car accident when I was 11.

434

00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:08,629 Oh.

435

00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,035 Poppy, I'm so sorry.

436

00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:21,317 I know you're not some Malibu therapist, but

437

00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,716 KATE: Listen.

438

00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,951

- Are you serious about getting out of here?

- Yeah.

439

00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:44,589 Then, you're going to have to get yourself expelled.

440

00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:46,159 Okay.

441

00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:49,915 "Anybody disporting themselves in an improper manner will be proposed

442

00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:54,551

- "for expulsion before the Honour Court."

- Wait. Honour Court?

443

00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:56,870

It's like a trial in front of the whole school

444

00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:00,589 by your peers, your teachers, the Head Girl, and Mrs Kingsley.

445

00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,513 But I'm telling you, it hardly ever happens.

446

00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:06,956 If you really want to get expelled, you can't just rock the boat.

447

00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:08,598 You have to drive it up onto the rocks,

448

00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,274 set fire to the galley and dance on the burning deck.

449

00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:14,830

- You have to take it all the way.

- Aye, aye, Captain.

450

00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:17,632

Make your calls.

451

00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:25,552

Tip for best reception. On top of the cupboard.

452

00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:31,353 Hi, Ruby. I miss you. I'm going to escape, though. I promise you.

453

00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,635 You have no idea what it's like here.

454

00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:35,073 Ew!

455

00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:41,429 Who is she? Zero lip gloss upkeep, and what's with the sweater from Target?

456

00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,552 <i>I wish you could come and rescue me.</i>

457

00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,438 She is such a romantic, Roddy.

458

00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:48,636 <i>Take care of Roddy for me.</i>

459

00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:50,512 (PHONE BEEPS)

460

00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,830 You already have. Let's hit the pool.

461

00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:57,953 (CREAKING)

462

00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:00,474 (OWL HOOTING)

463

00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:01,754 (GASPS)

464

00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:10,353 (POPPY SHRIEKS)

465

00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:14,397 Watch it, Wee Willie Winkie, you'll set us all alight.

466

00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:16,277 Now, I've had a word with the girls.

467

00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:19,909 True, some of them took

a little more convincing than others.

468

00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,753 But it's decided. We're going to help you.

469

00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:25,877 We're your very own crack unit. Operation Freedom.

470

00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:28,155

- Kiki, please explain.

- Right.

471

00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,196 <i>We'll commence with an entry-level basic favourite. </i>

472

00:33:30,197 --> 00:33:32,153 <i>Just to get warmed up.</i>

473

00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:34,435 POPPY: It smells like pee in here. KIKI: Does not smell like pee.

474

00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:35,635 (GREETING IN FRENCH)

475

00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:36,869 (GIRLS GREETING IN FRENCH)

476

00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,599 <i>KIKI: But it's no good</i> <i>just playing the same old tricks.</i>

477

00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:43,195 <i>Try to be as imaginative as possible.</i>

478

<i>Only do things that will get you noticed.</i> <i>Vary your targets as much as you can.</i>

479

00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:52,673

<i>And although we'll all be helping you,</i>

<i>the important thing to remember

</i>

480

00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:53,749 GIRL: Harriet!

481

00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:57,594 <i>KIKI: is that you have to get the blame for everything.</i>

482

00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:58,999 Run along.

483

00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,228 Speaking.

484

00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,197 MR NELLIST: Headphones on, girls.

485

00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:08,549 Come on, everybody. Don't run too fast in your flip-flops. We'll just jump in,

486

00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,837 have a quick paddle about, warm up, then have tea and crumpets, yes?

487

00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:15,037

Yes, I'm in school right now.

488

00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:18,192

Regulation uniform. Skirt just below the knee.

489

00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:19,788 (SCOFFS)

490

00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:21,991 Of course.

491

00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:26,471 They are a simple polyester. Sturdy and practical.

492

00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:31,190 No, I have certainly not been naughty. My disciplinary record is exemplary.

493

00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:34,399 Are you okay?

494

00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,550 <i>SARA: Get out. Get out!</i>

495

00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,434 Please, get out.

496

00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,272 (SARA WHISTLING)

497

00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,116 (GIRLS READING IN FRENCH)

498

00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:03,948 MR NELLIST: (STUTTERING) Yes, thank you very much. That's it. Thank you.

499

00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:06,554 <i>KIKI: If you make enough</i> <i>of a nuisance of yourself

</i>

500

00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,552 Poppy Moore!

501

00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:13,713 <i>KIKI: she will eventually bow to pressure, and she'll have to call your father.</i>

502

00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,268 Naturally I'll call her father, but she's had a difficult time.

503

00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,112 No, Sara, please. It's all right, dear.

504

00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:19,599

- Mr Nellist.

- Sorry.

505

00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:25,312 <i>KIKI: And then, with any luck, she'll recommend you to the Honour Court.</i>

506

00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:28,558 Unbe-bloody-lievable!

507

00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,790 She's got more lives than a Buddhist cat.

508

00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:35,713 Kingsley's not even mentioned Honour Court.

509

00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:39,315

- I think people are starting to like her.

- HARRIET: People?

510

00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,676 People can learn to get used to rotting pig's vomit

511

00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:46,309

- if they live with it for long enough.

- Maybe she's trying to leave.

512

00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:50,075 It'd be a nightmare if she stayed. She makes a mockery of the system.

513

00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:53,197 She's not staying. Take it from me.

514

00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:57,239 Five generations of my family have made this school great.

515

00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:00,995 The school motto is scholarship, fellowship, loyalty.

516

00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:06,359 Not be a slutty, whore-y shit-brain.

517

00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:08,829 So <i>brilliante,</i> Harriet.

518

00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:11,434 SARA: Mr Nellist, don't cry. Maybe a tissue.

519

00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,238 MR NELLIST: (CRYING)

I can't stand her. It's driving me crazy.

520

00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:16,869 MRS KINGSLEY: Perhaps a strong cup of tea. I'm only sorry it can't be something stronger.

521

00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:18,393

SARA: Cup of tea.

522

00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:23,753

POPPY: Come on, quick.

523

00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:25,353

(BOTH GIGGLING)

524

00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:33,150

- Quick. Give me the tape. Give me the tape.

- KATE: Quick.

525

00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:36,075 Pull the button off.

526

00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:39,118

- Oh, my God. There's a car.

- Quick.

527

00:36:53,720 --> 00:36:55,870 Whoa! It's all right, Cerberus. Only me.

528

00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:59,555

- Who's Cerberus?

- The dog that guards the gates of hell.

529

00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:06,592

- (WHISPERING) Go, go. Get away.

- Hurry up. Or you'll disturb my girls.

530

00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:11,998 (SNEEZING)

531

00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:15,592 (IMITATES SNEEZING)

532

00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,790 Sorry, terrible allergies.

533

00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,118 (FLATULENT SOUND)

534

00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:27,113 Oh, sorry. Better an empty house than an angry tenant, right?

535

00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:36,678

I don't get it. It's like you've got immunity. Your dad's a Mafia guy or something.

536

00:37:37,240 --> 00:37:39,595

Yup. I'm the Goddaughter.

537

00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,990 Whatever it is, she's cutting you a lot of slack.

538

00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:49,155 We need to up the ante. In fact, we need to focus on her big weakness.

539

00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:52,236 Oh, my God. You have to snog Freddie.

540

00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,073 Snog? That sounds disgusting. What is that?

541

00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:58,709

- It's English for make out.

- Mrs Kingsley will go ballistic.

542

00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:03,749

- And Harriet would have an absolute fit.

- Well, that's a definite bonus.

543

00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,149

- KATE: And he'll be at the social.

- Cool.

544

00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:09,152 Just remember, the point is to get caught.

545

00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:10,878

All right, so, what's the deal with the social?

546

00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:12,871 It's the school dance on Saturday night.

547

00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:17,272 Traditionally, it's fancy dress. This year, it's Movie Magic.

548

00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:22,957 But the only ones who bother to dress up are teachers, morons, and Harriet.

549

00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:27,192

I say we dress up fancy. Real fancy.

550

00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:29,953 This mission needs to be planned precisely.

551

00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:32,554

- Kiki?

- Okay.

552

00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:38,272 Operation Freedom, part two, step one. Attract Freddie.

553

00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:42,234 Step one, subsection A, look the part.

554

00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:46,310 Kiki, you're actually making something quite exciting sound like physics homework.

555

00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:47,435

(GIRLS GIGGLING)

556

00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:50,796 Basically, we're going into town, and we're going to get some killer outfits.

557

00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,474 DRIPPY: I want something that says, "Elegant,

558

00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:57,633 "but at the same time incredibly slutty and available."

559

00:38:57,720 --> 00:39:00,757 In fact, I'm not that bothered about elegant.

560

00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:18,916 <i>POPPY: So apparently, the key is to hook up with the headmistress' son.</i>

561

00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,356 <i>I'll do your trick, Rubes.</i> <i>Swing my hips and giggle.</i>

562

00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:24,431 Oh, come on, Poppy. We're going to miss the bus.

563

00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:27,239 Don't forget to log off now, you ninny.

564

00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:34,355 Everyone, sign out. Remember you are representatives of the school.

565

00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:38,752

- Sign your own name. Come on.

- Poppy Moore. What are you wearing?

566

00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:42,037 You are going into town, not appearing in a window in Amsterdam.

567

00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:44,270

- Change immediately.

- I don't have anything else.

568

00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:47,591 I thought you might be quite concerned by that attire, Matron.

569

00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:50,956 So we had a little look-see in lost property on our way here.

570

00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,270

- Didn't we?

- We did.

571

00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,592 It'll suit you.

572

00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:00,838 Promise.

573

00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:04,275 (GIRL BARKING)

574

00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:05,554 (GIRLS LAUGHING)

575

00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:08,074 DRIPPY: Well, that's cute. My grandma used to have a dog just like it.

576

00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:11,357 KIKI: Poppy, I think your jumper is the cat's pyjamas.

577

00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:24,152 BUS CONDUCTOR: Come on, girls. In you go. Hurry up. Upstairs.

578

00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:33,953 Don't push. Don't push. Plenty of room. Come on. Here we go.

579

00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:36,838

- Come on, Poppy! Jump!

- GIRLS: Poppy! Jump!

580

00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:40,549

I can't find my sanitiser!

I can't find my sanitiser!

581

00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,518

- You left it in the dorm!

- Oh, my God, no!

582

00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:50,509

Ew!

583

00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:51,635

GIRLS: Ew!

584

00:40:55,240 --> 00:40:57,356

(GIRLS CHATTERING)

585

00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:59,317 Oh, my God, look.

586

00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:02,278 <i>(HEAVY METAL MUSIC</i> <i>BLARING ON CAR STEREO)</i>

587

00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:20,512

(DOGS BARKING)

588

00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:25,237

- GIRLS: Oh, hello.

- Hi.

589

00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,436 Ew! Gross!

590

00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:32,392

- Where are we going?

- To our favourite shop.

591

00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:33,754 Cancer research?

592

00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:36,912 Girls, I'm all about finding a cure, but considering I flunked chemistry,

593

00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:41,118 I don't know how much help I'm going to be. And BTW, which, FYI, means "By the way,"

594

00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:45,159

- this is supposed to be shopping time.

- We're not going to be doing the research.

595

00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:48,915

This is a charity shop. The money goes to charity.

596

00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:50,672 Oh, I just had a heart palpitation.

597

00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:54,230 You guys are so adorable, but we need to look really hot for the social.

598

00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:57,995

- So let's go hit Oxford Street.

- I take it you flunked geography, too.

599

00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:01,868 Oxford Street is in London, my friend. This is your lot.

600

00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:05,632 (GIRLS LAUGHING)

601

00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,638 KIKI: Josie, take that big bra off my head. JOSIE: No!

602

00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:17,636

- Hey, Kate! What about this for Ascot?

- KATE: Magnificent.

603

00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:19,870

Is this too workaday?

604

00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:25,511 Come on now, girls. This is a serious mission. Get a move on.

605

00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:29,354 Now, Poppy, how about something like this? Fifty pence.

606

00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:32,989 It looks like someone died in it. I'd rather stay the Yorkshire Terrier freak.

607

00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:37,119 You're a Buddhist, right? Think of it as clothing reincarnation.

608

00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:40,317 Honey, even Buddha wouldn't be caught dead in half this stuff.

609

00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:45,076 Still, I guess anything's possible. Come on. Let's do this.

610

00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,230 <i>(POP SONG PLAYING)</i>

611

00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:42,839 (ALL WHOOP)

612

00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:48,630 Unbelievable. This season Marni. It's sophisticated, it's elegant.

613

00:43:48,720 --> 00:43:50,597

- Hot to trot?

- Check.

614

00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:55,236 If we could just call this stuff vintage and add three zeros to the price tag,

615

00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:56,799 I could totally get into it.

616

00:43:56,880 --> 00:44:00,555 Perfection. Operation Freddie is well and truly underway.

617

00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:03,393 Malibu moment. Remember what I taught you guys?

618

00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:04,993

- Who are we?

- ALL: Who are we?

619

00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:05,876 (CAMERA CLICKING)

620

00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:10,593 MR CHRISTOPHER: I think he's down, the Penny Black. Yes, dated pre-war.

621

00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:15,310

- KATE: Really stupid ones.

- Oh, my God. It's Tom Cruise.

622

00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:18,278 Would you like to say that any louder?

I need your help.

623

00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:20,669 And I need a back wax and a night with Michael Buble,

624

00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:24,639 but we don't always get what we want. Trudy, attend to the brows.

625

00:44:25,240 --> 00:44:31,315 Yorkie fan. It's a nice dog, Yorkie.

I used to have one once. Wee Phillippe.

626

00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:33,789 Got savaged to death by a badger.

627

00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:39,913

- Aren't you the soufflÈ that didn't arise.

- Tell me about it. Okay.

628

00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:43,436

I need these extensions taken out,

a seriously deep conditioning.

629

00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:45,476 I'm thinking side bangs with some buttery highlights,

630

00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:47,710 and maybe a few honey tones.

631

00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:51,679 And I'd like a night on Fireman Island, but I'm afraid I'm whistling Dixie, okay?

632

00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:53,716 So here's what's on offer for you.

633

00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:55,916

- A tight perm.

- No.

634

00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,719 How about this? A wee bob. That's fun, isn't it?

635

00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:00,597

- No.

- Okay. What about this?

636

00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:02,033 Oh, a pineapple.

637

00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:05,510

- Oh, Hawaii.

- No.

638

00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:08,751 What about something a little bit more natural?

639

00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:12,593

- Natural?

- MR CHRISTOPHER: Aye. The real you.

640

00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,914

- Natural it is.

- Radical.

641

00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,719

Okay. Ladies, let's do this.

642

00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:25,956 Oh, right now, we're gonna need that, that, that.

643

00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:30,350 (MACHINE WHIRRING)

644

00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:36,352

Oh, no, I

That's not mine. Nope.

Don't look at

645

00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:38,254 Hey, Mummy.

646

00:45:38,255 --> 00:45:40,069 Two strong teas, please, <i>bella, pronto!</i>

647

00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:41,354 (BLOW DRYER WHIRRING)

648

00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:43,874 Don't you look at me like that.

649

00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:47,553 Nix that.

650

00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:51,268 You ready? Okay.

651

00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:56,269 <i>- Et voil‡.</i>

- Wow. Thank you.

652

00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:57,839 You're welcome, darling.

653

00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:02,152 I'm cream-crackered. I'll lay down and have a wee satsuma.

654

00:46:02,240 --> 00:46:05,118

- You look so

- English.

655

00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:08,590

- I look like my mom.

- Is she beautiful, too?

656

00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:13,595

- She was. Very.

- Sorry. Foot-in-mouth disease.

657

00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:16,112 (GIRLS LAUGHING)

658

00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:20,952

- Okay. Time for the juice. Any bright ideas?

- Leave it to me. I've got a plan.

659

00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:31,231 So, Susan, do you like your new office?

660

I

don't know what's worse,

my job or that husband of mine.

661

00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:41,031 Keith from Accounts is driving me crazy.

662

00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:44,430 He wants that report on his desk by Thursday.

663

00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:46,670 What's the report about?

664

00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:52,110

- Business.

- (WHISPERS) What?

665

00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:55,670 Do you want to buy a carpet tomorrow?

666

00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:59,799 Yes. After I've dropped the kids off at the pool.

667

00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:04,032

In my saloon car.

668

00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:07,635 Two bottles of Grizinski and one of Donmatsa, please.

669

00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:11,669 And two Creme Eggs, please.

670

00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:13,669 (SCOFFS)

671

00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:18,549 Why did you order the Creme Eggs, you idiot?

672

00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:21,518 Why did you only get two, Drippy? Now, we've got to quarter them.

673

00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:24,034

- He believed us till then.

- Oh, yeah, right.

674

00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:28,079 Maybe if you hadn't asked me what Keith's report was about. Where's Poppy?

675

00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:31,197

- Are you okay?

- I'm furious. Stupid Drippy.

676

00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:33,874

I know. Never mind. Let's go.

677

00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:37,077 <i>(POP MUSIC PLAYING)</i>

678

00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:47,111

Would you boys like a drink? Now, anybody here? Come on.

679

00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:51,919 Hello, hello.

680

00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:56,949 Name's Nellist. Roger Nellist. Licence to deejay.

681

00:47:58,240 --> 00:48:01,550 Gosh, you look like James Bond.

682

00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:03,119

I thought you might like a fruit punch.

683

00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:05,998 Oh, I'll have it shaken and not stirred.

684

00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:14,756 OLD LADY: Why aren't you dancing? They're all dressed up, waiting for you over there.

685

00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:16,679 JANE: Mr Nellist.

686

00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:17,988

- Harriet's coming.

- Harriet's coming.

687

00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:19,877 Right, yes, yes, yes.

688

00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:26,919 <i>(SLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)</i>

689

00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:33,272 (BOYS LAUGHING)

690

00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:41,949 Mr Darcy.

691

00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:45,396 What undue pleasure it is to be afforded your company.

692

00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:48,597

- Hi.

- You may only call me Mrs Darcy

693

00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:52,673 when you are completely, perfectly, incandescently happy.

694

00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:54,873 Okay. Cool.

695

00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:58,190

Freddie, it's me.

696

00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:00,998 Of course, Harriet.

697

00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:03,036

<i>(POP MUSIC PLAYING)</i>

698

00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:07,919 <i>KIKI: Okay, Poppy, let's get Freddie.</i>

699

00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:31,753

Lips, hips, hips, and butt.

700

00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:34,153 (KATE WHOOPS)

701

00:49:34,240 --> 00:49:35,878 (BOYS WHISTLING)

702

00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:44,710

- Hi.

- Hello, trouble. I like your hair.

703

00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:49,032 What are you doing? This is a themed costume party,

704

00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:52,192 not a dwarf prostitutes' convention.

705

00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:55,272 I'm so sorry. I must say that you look incredible.

706

00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:59,433 You make an excellent Shrek. This is my favourite song. Come on.

707

00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:01,715 <i>(HIP-HOP SONG PLAYING)</i>

708

00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:16,598 (MUSIC STOPS)

709

00:50:20,240 --> 00:50:22,276 <i>(HIP-HOP SONG PLAYING)</i>

710

00:50:38,240 --> 00:50:39,912 (GIRLS WHOOPING)

711

00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:51,192 KIKI: Yeah, go on, Poppy.

712

00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:01,270 Go, girlfriend. That is entirely wicked.

713

00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:08,873 (POPPY SHRIEKS)

714

00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:14,033

- Hey, you okay?

- You're awesome.

715

00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:18,910 Is she okay? Shall I call an ambulance? You can be sick in my hands if you'd like.

716

00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,958 She's acting like she's drunk. She should be taken to bed.

717

00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:25,828

- Freddie can do the honours.

- You really are a horridious piece of work.

718

00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:27,512

Mr Darcy doesn't think so.

719

00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:29,795 She's just a little concussed. She just needs some air.

720

00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:32,838

- Great idea.

- FREDDIE: Come on.

721

00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:39,993 She's up to something. Follow them. Report back to me.

722

00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:44,232

- So, explain yourself, Miss Moore.

- "I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir,

723

00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:46,834 "because I am not myself right now, you see."

724

00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:48,273 (FREDDIE CHUCKLES)

725

00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:52,069

- Said Alice to the Caterpillar.

- You're right. How did you know?

726

00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:56,631 I was Alice in the school play. All boys, before you look at me weirdly.

727

Hey.

728

00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:04,831 You so don't need to play hard to get. I'm totally into you.

729

00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:08,196 Hey, come on. Calm down.

730

00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:13,070 Okay. Leading lady, all-boys school, awkward with intimacy.

731

00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:15,276 Cards on the table. Are you gay?

732

00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:16,395 (LAUGHS)

733

00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:18,550 Just English.

734

00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:20,995 And I am sober and sensible, and you, my sweet friend,

735

00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:24,709 are overexcited and concussed.

736

00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:28,839

I go back to school tomorrow,

but I'll be back on the 18th.

737

00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:31,036 How about I see you then?

738

00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:33,953

- Okay.

- I'll make a deal.

739

00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:37,112 No more head-fry behaviour.

I sense it might be your forte.

740

00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:40,510

I won't fry your head

if you don't poach my heart.

741

00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:43,875 Deal.

742

00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:45,188 (CHARLOTTE CLEARS THROAT)

743

00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:47,840 Crap. Tweedledum and Tweedledee.

744

00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:51,469 Fraternizing with the girls, Freddie Kingsley, as you are well aware,

745

00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:56,998

- is not allowed.

- Poppy Moore, get back inside. Immediately.

746

00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:07,677

- Tell Harriet.

- She won't just shoot the messenger,

747

00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:09,910

she'll skin us alive first.

748

00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:15,276

- Me think not.

- We think not.

749

00:53:18,240 --> 00:53:19,958 Nice work, Kate.

750

00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:23,191 So, is Operation Freddie well and truly underway?

751

00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:24,599 God knows. Harriet didn't come,

752

00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:28,195 so it just depends on whether Tweedledum or Tweedledee decides to tell her.

753

00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:31,431

- There's nothing to worry about.

- KIKI: Clearly not. Right.

754

00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:34,671 We're going to have to come up with an addendum to Plan B.

755

00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:38,992 Isn't it ironic how my ticket out of here just might be the reason I want to stay?

756

00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:40,991

I mean, one of the reasons, anyways.

757

00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:43,958 Someone call Al Gore.

I think the ice queen is melting.

758

00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:45,712 What an excellent night.

759

00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:50,157 Eight boys have actually come up and directly spoken to me.

760

00:53:50,240 --> 00:53:53,994 <i>Now, for all you lovers out there.</i>

761

00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:57,755 <i>It's your final chance. It's the last dance.</i>

762

00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:00,598

- Come on.

- GIRLS: Come on.

763

00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:05,595

- DRIPPY: Last dance, everybody! Come on!

- There's something I have to tell you.

764

00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:08,672 We already know. You wax your bum.

765

00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:10,034 <i>(SENTIMENTAL SONG PLAYING)</i>

766

00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:15,353

- Not quite, but similar ballpark.

- You haven't done it, have you?

767

00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:22,357 No. I mean, I couldn't admit it back home, so I kind of lied, but I'm a total nun.

768

00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:25,000 Welcome to the nunnery.

769

00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:27,958 GIRLS: (SINGING) <i>I'm loving angels instead</i>

770

00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:35,832 <i>GIRL 1: Come on, girls. If we lose today</i> <i>we're out of the championships again.</i>

771

00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:46,635 Perhaps you'd like to explain last night to me. Kate?

772

00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:52,431 I'm sorry. We just got a little bit carried away.

773

00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:55,512 Well, as I understand it, Drippy got totally carried away

774

00:54:55,600 --> 00:55:00,276 by Mr Nellist and Miss Rees-Withers after she lay in a pool of her own vomit.

775

00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:05,115

Actually, it was Kate's vomit, Mrs Kingsley.

I was just lying in it.

776

00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:07,829

I expect better of you two.

777

00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:11,037 You know the values we stand for at Abbey Mount.

778

00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:13,315 And as for you, Poppy,

I don't know whether to be pleased

779

that you've finally made some friends here, or furious that you've led them astray.

780

00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:19,679 Dismissed.

781

00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:25,871 Not you, Miss Moore.

782

00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:29,950 I gave your father my word that I'd try and help you,

783

00:55:30,040 --> 00:55:34,113 but I'll be honest, you're making it awfully difficult.

784

00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:41,038 You're cleverer and better than this, Poppy. Why don't you give yourself a chance? Try.

785

00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:46,592 Try at something. Show him that you can rise to the occasion.

786

00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:48,830 Because judging by the outfits you created last night,

787

00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:52,833 when you put your mind to something, you can do it.

788

00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:55,070 Don't give up on yourself.

789

00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:59,996 Because I haven't. And neither has your father.

790

00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:03,757 Now off you go.

791

00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:08,430 DRIPPY: I really do feel sick.

792

- What did she want?

- Nothing. Just a good spa destination.

793

00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:24,271 (GIRLS SCREAMING)

794

00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:26,590 (GIRLS CHEERING)

795

00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:30,879 Come on, guys.

796

00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:40,031 God, I feel really vile.

797

00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:43,032 I think I'm going to puke. Seriously, Poppy, you're gonna have to take my place.

798

00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:44,872 There's only seven minutes left.

799

00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:46,154 (DRIPPY RETCHING)

800

00:56:46,240 --> 00:56:47,878 Oh, cripes!

801

00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:53,348

- Poppy can take my place.

- Don't worry, Miss Rees-Withers.

802

00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:56,318 We'll play one man down. We don't want to carry dead weight.

803

00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:58,436

- No offence.

- POPPY: None taken.

804

00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:01,671 But seeing as how you don't want me playing on your team,

805

00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:03,830 well, I'm frigging playing.

806

00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:06,713 (HARRIET GRUNTS)

807

00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:08,389 Into the bucket.

808

00:57:08,640 --> 00:57:11,108 Josie, on the wing! Poppy, go long!

809

00:57:11,200 --> 00:57:12,474 All right. Wow, okay.

810

00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:16,951 Let's just pretend the ball is the last size five pair of Manolos at Barneys.

811

00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:18,189 Okay.

812

00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:23,911 Let's pull it out the bag. Offence. Yeah. Eyes on the prize. Josie, come on.

813

00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:27,037 Eye on the prize. Oh, my God. Okay. Josie, help!

814

00:57:27,120 --> 00:57:29,236 Poppy, roll over it and pick it up!

815

00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:32,233 POPPY: Yeah! You go, girlfriend.

816

00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:34,436 You dunk that bitch. You see the goal, Josie.

817

00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:36,670 Focus, focus. Do you see the goal?

818

00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:50,394 GIRL 1: Way to go!

819

00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:59,032 And finally, in news as shocking as the fall of the Berlin Wall,

820

00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:00,792 <i>our under-18 lacrosse team</i>

821

00:58:00,880 --> 00:58:03,553 has gone through to the second round of the county championships

822

00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:05,710 for the first time since 1976.

823

00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:14,596 To sign up for extra practise, please see Harriet

824

00:58:14,680 --> 00:58:19,037 My apologies. No, it seems you should see Poppy Moore.

825

00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:20,758 (GIRLS MURMURING)

826

00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:23,069 (GIRLS GRUNTING)

827

00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:25,754 POPPY: All right, people. Choose a goal buddy.

828

00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:30,072 From now on each sentence starts with "I will," not "I want to."

829

00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:34,950 I will want to saliva vomit if we have to call each other buddy.

830

00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:38,953 Shut up. Hit it. I'm giving us an aggression makeover.

831

00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:40,713 <i>(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)</i>

832

00:58:40,800 --> 00:58:43,553 Go, go! Crawl, crawl, crawl! Who is that, Kiki? Kiki!

833

00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:45,517 Get it! That's okay. Pick it up, scoop it!

834

00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:48,194 Pass it, pass it. Come on, faster, faster, faster!

835

00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:51,511 This is ridiculous. Come on, play like you mean it, maybe try.

836

00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:54,114 Call the ball. "Mine." "I got it." "Your ball."

837

00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:55,872 KATE: Come on, Josie. POPPY: Josie, you're pretty good.

838

00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:57,552

KATE: Josie POPPY: Pass the ball!

839

00:58:57,960 --> 00:58:59,916 POPPY: Go on, Kate! Go on! Shoot!

840

00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:04,312 <i>MRS KINGSLEY: Congratulations once again to our under-18 lacrosse team</i>

841

00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:08,188 who beat Bodley Girls on Saturday, 5-2. Well done.

842

00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:14,430 POPPY: Come on, you guys! Come on, up and together.

843

00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:18,672 Come on, shake it like this, Kiki. Come on, come on. What is this?

844

00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:20,718 KATE: Go! Go! Come on, Josie!

845

(JOSIE GRUNTING)

846

00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:32,869 Come on. Quicker, quicker, quicker!

847

00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:37,437

- Josie, come on! Yeah!

- KATE: Kiki! Go, your ball!

848

00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:38,839 POPPY: Shoot, Kiki, shoot!

849

00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:40,797 <i>MRS KINGSLEY:</i> <i>And the groundbreaking news</i>

850

00:59:40,880 --> 00:59:45,317 <i>is that Abbey Mount is through</i> <i>to the lacrosse championship final.</i>

851

00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:49,196 <i>POPPY: Dear Ruby, today's my big date</i> <i>with the headmistress' son, Freddie.</i>

852

00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:51,555 <i>Wish me luck, I may be out of here before you know it.</i>

853

00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:54,108 Lover boy's waiting outside for you.

854

00:59:58,840 --> 01:00:01,434 But remember, you want someone to catch you out.

855

01:00:01,520 --> 01:00:05,559

- So stay near school, and good luck.

- Thanks. Fingers crossed.

856

01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:27,632 Freddie Kingsley. Nice to finally see you when I'm not delirious or half naked.

857

01:00:27,720 --> 01:00:28,869 Don't speak too soon.

858

And is it wrong for me to say that I'm just a teeny bit disappointed?

859

01:00:32,600 --> 01:00:35,478

- Come on, trouble. Let's hit the road.

- Hey, I thought maybe we could

860

01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:37,630 take a romantic stroll around the school grounds.

861

01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:40,439

(LAUGHS) And get caught? Are you out of your mind?

862

01:00:40,520 --> 01:00:43,512 Call me old-fashioned, but I actually do quite like living.

863

01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:50,638 I thought you said you could drive.

864

01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:53,188 It's not my fault your stupid car doesn't work.

865

01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:57,478

- Have you ever thought of changing gears?

- That's the car's job.

866

01:00:57,560 --> 01:00:58,993 Turn right here.

867

01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:01,799

- We drive on the left in this country.

- POPPY: Whatever.

868

01:01:01,880 --> 01:01:03,916

<i>(POP SONG PLAYING)</i>

869

01:01:24,040 --> 01:01:26,076 <i>POPPY: And so I threw the whole lot</i> <i>over the cliff.</i>

870

01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:30,433 My dad went mental, as Drippy would say. Drippy says I was crazy,

871

01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:34,354 but Kate said she would have done exactly the same in my position.

872

01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:38,035 Sorry, chattering away like this. Feel free to shut me up.

873

01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:41,715 Well, remind me never to get on your bad side.

874

01:01:41,800 --> 01:01:45,873 But the thing is, I'm pretty sure you don't have one.

875

01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:05,313

- Here you go, trouble.

- Bread and fries, that's my treat?

876

01:02:06,200 --> 01:02:07,758 If I affect your life in no other way,

877

01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:10,798 then allow me this honour, the humble chip butty.

878

01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:12,154 Here we go.

879

01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:23,753 Kind of gross, but I like it.

880

01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:31,358 You know, this is one of the best dates I

881

01:02:35,160 --> 01:02:37,549 The best date I've ever had.

882

01:02:37,640 --> 01:02:41,189 There's something about you, Poppy Moore.

883

01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:44,238 Every moment I'm with you, I catch my breath.

884

01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:49,478 <i>(SLOW SONG PLAYING)</i>

885

01:03:03,640 --> 01:03:04,959 Clutch.

886

01:03:16,880 --> 01:03:20,190 Guys. Guess what? You'll never believe it.

887

01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:26,517

- What happened?

- "Dear Ruby,

888

01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:29,592 "you cannot imagine how retarded these idiots are.

889

01:03:29,680 --> 01:03:33,753 "They're a bunch of ugly losers who think a mani-pedi is a Latin greeting.

890

01:03:33,840 --> 01:03:35,319 "I despise these village idiots,

891

01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:38,597 "but I have to pretend to like them so they'll help me get out of this hell hole.

892

01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:42,195 "I tried doing it on my own, and it was impossible.

893

01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:48,833 "Still, they're so thick they'll never realise.

894

01:03:48,920 --> 01:03:52,913 "I'll be out of this asylum by the end of term."

895

01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:56,037 I didn't write that. Hardly any of it, just the loser part.

896

01:03:56,120 --> 01:03:58,759

- But that was weeks ago.

- Well, it's dated today.

897

01:03:58,840 --> 01:04:01,115 And it's from your e-mail address.

898

01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:03,919

- Where did you get it?

- It was taped to the door.

899

01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:07,834 You're a seriously horridious cow.

900

01:04:07,920 --> 01:04:09,638 POPPY: Come on, guys.

901

01:04:09,720 --> 01:04:13,349

- You have to believe me.

- KIKI: Just forget it, okay?

902

01:04:13,440 --> 01:04:17,399

- Why would you do that?

- You can't believe I actually wrote this.

903

01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:21,951 All we did was to try to make your life here happier, Poppy.

904

01:04:22,040 --> 01:04:23,792 I thought we were friends.

905

01:04:25,400 --> 01:04:26,879 (DOOR CLOSING)

906

01:04:33,560 --> 01:04:35,790 <i>POPPY: So, all I have to do is hook up</i> <i>with the headmistress' son,</i>

907

01:04:35,880 --> 01:04:37,598 <i>and it's a sure thing that they expel me.</i>

908

01:04:37,680 --> 01:04:41,958 <i>He's a total English dweeb.</i> <i>Pretty gross but an easy target.</i>

909

01:04:42,040 --> 01:04:43,951 <i>Give me a week, tops.</i>

910

01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:45,837 (KNOCKING ON DOOR)

911

01:04:48,080 --> 01:04:49,433

I can explain.

912

01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:03,351 <i>POPPY: Please, I really need to talk to you.</i>

913

01:05:03,440 --> 01:05:05,237 Can't right now. You know, the limo's coming in five,

914

01:05:05,320 --> 01:05:06,719 and I have <i>nada</i> to wear.

915

01:05:06,800 --> 01:05:09,075

- Where are you going?

<i>- RUBY: Nick's house.</i>

916

01:05:09,160 --> 01:05:12,914 <i>Not the Jimmy Choos.</i> <i>They don't match, for Christ's sake.</i>

917

01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:16,117 Rubes, I just need some advice. Something really bad has happened.

918

01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:21,797 Crap. Fashion emergency. Got to go. See you soon as.

919

01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:24,314

- Love you.

- Love you more.

920

01:05:26,920 --> 01:05:30,310 Sorry, Roddy. Couldn't get rid of her. What was I saying?

921

01:05:31,640 --> 01:05:36,873 <i>- Roddy? Babe?</i>

- No, Ruby. Still me. Babe.

922

01:05:40,160 --> 01:05:41,149

(SCOFFS)

923

01:05:44,200 --> 01:05:45,599 (SIGHING)

924

01:06:11,400 --> 01:06:12,674

Shit.

925

01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:14,751 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

926

01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:16,159 Shit.

927

01:06:29,520 --> 01:06:30,794 (PANTING)

928

01:06:44,840 --> 01:06:46,637 (SCREAMING)

929

01:06:57,720 --> 01:07:00,280 Kate. Kate, quick. Wake up.

930

01:07:00,360 --> 01:07:02,351 KATE: What's wrong now? P