Anger Management Techniques 1. Learn to relax This one is quite simple really.

When someone does something that irritates you and makes you angry stop for a second before responding. Take some deep breaths and focus on them. If it helps count down in your head. Try and remove the rage and become calm. With a little practise you will find it easy to keep calm in all situations. 2. Visualise and plan your response As already mentioned, you should express your anger in a calm manner. Once you have relaxed as mentioned in the first step, then you need to formulate a calm response explaining what has made you angry. The key is to make a response that is not over emotional but more explanatory of the exact cause. 3. Avoid accusations and blame Avoid attempting to blame the person who has made you angry. This can lead to conflict and feedback which can create even more anger. Rather than saying You caused this because instead say I am angry because 4. Change the way you think Rationalize. When you are angry, rather than having an emotional outburst, ask yourself logically, what is the cause of my anger? Logic is a great way to defeat anger. If you use your logic you can control your anger much better. 5. Communicate If someone makes you angry, rather than jumping on them listen to what they have to say. They may have an issue too, which in your anger you are missing. Communication is vital to keeping your anger controlled. 6. Tell a joke Break the ice by telling a joke. A joke is a great way to change the mood. It doesnt mean that you are avoiding the issue. It just makes the issue easier to solve in a non-confrontational manner. 7. Have some me time If you are finding the anger too much to take, then take a break. Go for a walk. Go somewhere and do something where you can be by yourself. Do not storm out, but politely excuse yourself. Dont brood, do something you enjoy.

http://www.angerclassonline.com/blog/post/7-Anger-Control-Techniques-That-ReallyWork.aspx

Anger Management Tools

Tool One Dealing with stress. This tool teaches skills in effective stress management strategies to help reduce physical, mental and emotional signs of stress. Tool Two Empathy Development Teaches skills in emotional intelligence and empathy. Empathy is the ability to feel what another person feels. Empathy skills reduce anger responses. Tool Three Respond instead of React Teaches ways to deal with situations using better judgement and impulse control. Not reacting to situations can often be a valuable tool in dealing with difficult situations or people. Tool Four Change Self-Talk Changing self-talk can help us become more positive as well as develop more positive outcomes in our lives. Proven techniques and methods explored Tool Five Assertive Communication An exploration of harmful communication styles and a detailed discussion of the effectiveness of being assertive. Training in expressing feelings and needs. Tool Six Adjust Those Expectations Managing expectations can help reduce frustration. Clients are exposed to 5 skills for managing expectations more effectively Tool Seven Forgive, but don't forget This chapter explores effective ways for forgiving others while not giving up your rights as a person. Tool Eight Retreat and Think Things Over This chapter explores the "freeze frame" technique as well as the concept of "staying in the box" to calm down.

http://www.psychforums.com/anger-management/topic20660.html

http://www.scribd.com/doc/7199389/Anger-Management-A-Cognitive-Behavioral-TherapyManual

Passive Anger Behaviours

y Dispassion o giving the cold shoulder o phony smiles o looking unconcerned o sitting on the fence while others sort things out o dampening feelings with substance abuse o overeacting o oversleeping o not responding to another's anger o frigidity o indulging in sexual practices that depress spontaneity and make objects of

participants giving inordinate amounts of time to machines, objects or intellectual pursuits talking of frustrations but showing no feeling. Evasiveness o turning your back in a crisis o avoiding conflict o not arguing back o becoming phobic. Ineffectualness o such as setting yourself and others up for failure o choosing unreliable people to depend on o being accident prone o underachieving o sexual impotence o expressing frustration at insignificant things but ignoring serious ones. Obsessive behavior o needing to be inordinately clean and tidy o making a habit of constantly checking things o over-dieting or overeating o demanding that all jobs be done perfectly. Psychological manipulation o provoking people to aggression and then patronizing them o provoking aggression but staying on the sidelines o emotional blackmail o false tearfulness o feigning illness o sabotaging relationships o using sexual provocation o using a third party to convey negative feelings o withholding money or resources. Secretive behavior o stockpiling resentments that are expressed behind people's backs
o o

giving the silent treatment or under the breath mutterings avoiding eye contact putting people down gossiping anonymous complaints poison pen letters stealing conning y Self-blame o apologizing too often o being overly critical o inviting criticism y Self-sacrifice o being overly helpful o making do with second best o quietly making long-suffering signs but refusing help o or lapping up gratefulness
o o o o o o o o

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repressed_anger

Aggressive Anger Behaviours

y Bullying o threatening people directly o persecuting o pushing or shoving o using power to oppress o shouting o driving someone off the road o playing on people's weaknesses. y Destructiveness o destroying objects o harming animals o destroying a relationship o reckless driving o substance abuse. y Grandiosity o showing off o expressing mistrust o not delegating o being a sore loser o wanting center stage all the time o not listening o talking over people's heads o expecting kiss and make-up sessions to solve problems. y Hurtfulness o physical violence o sexual abuse and rape o verbal abuse, o biased or vulgar jokes o breaking a confidence o using foul language o willfully discriminating o blaming o punishing people for unwarranted deeds o labeling others y Manic behavior o speaking too fast o walking too fast o working too much and expecting others to fit in o driving too fast o reckless spending. y Selfishness o ignoring others' needs o not responding to requests for help o queue jumping.

y Threats o frightening people by saying how you could harm themtheir property or their

prospects o finger pointing o fist shaking o wearing clothes or symbols associated with violent behavior o tailgating o excessively blowing a car horn o slamming doors. y Unjust blaming o accusing other people for your own mistakes o blaming people for your own feelings o making general accusations. y Unpredictability o explosive rages over minor frustrations o attacking indiscriminately o dispensing unjust punishment o inflicting harm on others for the sake of it o using alcohol and drugs o illogical arguments y Vengeance o being overly punitive o refusing to forgive and forget o bringing up hurtful memories from the past. angermgmt.com http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repressed_anger

Six dimensions of anger expression Of course, anger expression can take on many more styles than passive or aggressive. Ephrem Fernandez has identified six bipolar dimensions of anger expression. They relate to the 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Direction of anger Locus Reaction Modality Impulsivity Objective.

Coordinates on each of these dimensions can be connected to generate a profile of a person's anger expression style. Among the many profiles that are theoretically possible in this system, are the familiar profile of the person with explosive anger, profile of the person with repressive anger, profile of the passive aggressive person, and the profile of constructive anger expression. ( Fernandez, E. (2008). "The angry personality: A representation on six dimensions of anger expression." In G. J Boyle, D. Matthews & D. Saklofske (eds.). International Handbook of Personality Theory and Testing: Vol. 2: Personality Measurement and Assessment (pp. 402419). London: Sage) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repressed_anger

Anger Episode Model

http://www.angerdoctors.com/index.php?p=1_7_Anger-Episode-Model

7 Ways to Reduce Your Anger 1) Avoid and Escape Sometimes, the best answer to difficult situations is to avoid them totally. Consider, the long lines that appear in stores when you try to shop during holidays. They often lead to irritation. The best answer - shop early, shop late, shop by internet, let someone else shop for you. Sometimes, the best answer to difficult situations is to leave (escape). Have you noticed that in the heat of an argument you may have fantasies of screaming at, or punching another person. That's the time to leave. These are not permanent solutions to anger - but they are often very useful. 2) Find New Solutions to Social Problems When confronted with a problem, some solutions immediately come to mind. Unfortunately, they are often the same solutions that have failed in the past. So, when a child is misbehaving, that old solution of sending him to his room comes to mind. But, what else could be done? We ask people to think of recurring problems and to develop five new solutions to these problems. Then, we ask for the potential positive and negative outcomes of each solution. If you let your mind go, you will discover that you do have options. Try it yourself. 3) Change the Way You Think About Your Life Let's face it. For all of us, life is full of hassles. Yet, psychologists know that we can make choices about how to look at those hassles. Suppose you are on your way to an appointment and you discover a flat tire. You could catastrophize about it. Consider it to be awful. Yell and scream. But, the flat is still there requiring a fix. Or, you could look at the problem as an inconvenience that will make you late for the appointment. Is it bad? Sure. Is it a pain? Sure. Is it a hassle? Sure. If you stick to those kinds of evaluations of problems you will suffer minimal anger. If you magnify them out of proportion by calling them horrors, awfuls, or catastrophic problems, you will become quite angry. And, the problem will still be there. So, change your thinking and control your anger. 4) Forgiveness Sometimes, you can work things out with others. But, what if the person who angered you is dead, or has moved away, or won't talk to you, or is in prison? At these time, letting go of the anger is your best option. By forgiving, we do not mean condoning or approving of what the other person did. We also do not mean forgetting about it. Instead, we want you to remember what happened and even work to make things better in the future. However, we want this to happen without the bodily arousal that causes so many medical problems in the long run. 5) Learn to Relax Here we focus on the word, learn. Imagine if someone told you to just feel guilty, or just feel depressed. It wouldn't happen. In the same manner, your body does not relax if you are told to 'just relax.' Relaxation is a learned skill. It is based on gaining control over muscle group, through practice.

6) Expose Yourself and React Less. Okay, we don't mean expose your body. We mean, expose your mind. Think about those negative words to which you become angry. Make a recording and listen to the words. Have a friend say them to you, repeatedly. After a while, the power of the words will decrease and you will become less angry when you hear them. 7) Express Your Anger in an Assertive, Productive Way Many people have difficulty expressing their feelings. Yet it is good to say, I feel hurt, I feel annoyed, I feel sad. By learning how to express feeling in a productive way, without blaming the other person, much good can emerge. http://www.angerdoctors.com/index.php?p=1_12_7-Ways-to-Reduce-Anger

Anger Management for Men Managing anger in a healthy manner is important for every human being, be it for children, teenagers or adults. Being overtly angry can lead to situations beyond control, such as making instant attacks on people in the verbal or physical sense. Also, the general tendency of being angry has shown to have long-lasting effects on health both from direct and indirect perspectives. It is thus extremely important to manage anger well. Understanding the male anger Practically every saint experiences anger in different stages of life as they experience different incidents. To understand the anger as experienced by men, you need to identify the feelings that associate with the male anger followed by the root causes that men undergo these emotions. Symptoms of anger There are some symptoms that clearly indicate the dominating emotion of a moment to be anger. The important symptoms are mentioned below, and you may experience all of these during your moments of anger.
y y y y y y y y y

Your heartbeat jumps up You breathe faster Your pulse rushes Blood pressure rises The pupils dilate You feel hot deep inside Your hormone levels increase Headaches appear You feel wild, almost like lashing out

Experiencing one or more of the symptoms above may indicate anger having been formed inside you. Root cause identification It is important that a man understands the root causes of his anger. In fact, if you have experienced multiple cases of anger, then you may want to spend some time identifying the core nature of the associated events that made you angry. Interestingly, in most cases, one would find that it is only a few types of events that press the anger emotion button deep inside them. Anger need not always be interpersonal although it is often soyou may get angry even at situations related to events and objects. The harmful strategies often adapted by angry men Men tend to adapt to extreme measures when they are angry. Uncontrolled and unmanaged anger often leads to them adapting harmful strategies. These may be bad in the shorter term or the longer term or both.

One of the most common forms of reaction to rage situations is to lash out at things. Some people start hitting themselves, others try to verbally or even physically abuse others and yet other men tend to go into a phase of depression when they are angry. Clearly, none of these reactions are constructive or healthy in nature. In fact, it has been observed that men who tend to get angry also tend to develop smoking and drinking habits. This is extremely harmful towards ones health and can in fact lead to a short span of life. Also, repeated anger potentially increases the vulnerability of men towards coronary diseases and heart attacks. Men, in general, need to manage anger a lot better than this. Controlling the destructive anger phenomena and using it for self improvement Controlling anger from taking the destructive route is very much possible. In fact, if properly channeled, this unsettling emotion can be turned around and used for better solving problems in a more constructive nature. Anger generates power almost like no other emotion, and this energy needs to be focused in the right direction to experience amazing creation. You would be much better off solving a problem constructively using your anger as compared to ending up in the custody of your local police. And yet, anger is a natural emotion that you can not and should not avoid. If you are angry, then vent it out. But control it while venting it out. You may slap a pillow or a cushion but do not end up slapping yourself or your friend or neighbor. Initially, if you are angry, relax. Take a deep breath. Let your muscles and mind slow down. Let the colors that you see no longer be red. If needed, slowly count from one to ten. In summary, shift your focus to something else that is not the subject of the anger. This is a trick that may not happen overnight or seem possible to do at all initially, but you are certain to achieve it after some practice. Then, once you have taken the first steps towards controlling your anger, start to get your rationale in place. Do you see the root cause of your problem? Can you constructively eliminate it? If yes, this is the right time to start taking action. If not, then think about itcan you bypass or circumvent such that you would not have to face such a situation ever again? In short, evaluate your options and take your best step towards eradication of the problem. You would be surprised to know that many of the greatest ever works of art and literature were created at a subsequent phase of anger. Anger, managed constructively, has been a blessing to many men. Use the techniques and tune your minds to the same nature that some of the very best men have done to succeed, and you shall see that the right anger management techniques for men can take you a long way forward in the positive direction if implemented properly, rather than holding you back. Anger can potentially become a surprisingly pleasant friend of man if well managed.

http://www.angermanagementcounsel.com/techniques/anger-managment-for-men