12/28/2011

COMSATS WAH CANTT

SOCIOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVE OF

INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS

Research On Intimate Relationships, Benefits, Risks & Solutions. | Syed Zuhayb H. Shah

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Purpose Of Study ............................................................................................................................ 3 Introduction .................................................................................................................................... 4 Literature Review ............................................................................................................................ 5 Intimate Relationships & Personality Development ................................................................ 6 Significance of Relationship ..................................................................................................... 6 Triangular theory of love .......................................................................................................... 7 Discussion........................................................................................................................................ 8 Friends ...................................................................................................................................... 8 Casual relationships ................................................................................................................. 8 Committed relationships .......................................................................................................... 9 Cohabitation ........................................................................................................................... 10 Marriage ................................................................................................................................. 10 Extramarital affairs ................................................................................................................. 11 Need of Interpersonal Relationships at Young Age ...................................................................... 12 IDENTITY. ................................................................................................................................ 12 Interpersonal SKILLS. .............................................................................................................. 12 Emotional Support. ................................................................................................................ 12 Risks associated with Relationships .............................................................................................. 13 Abuse. ..................................................................................................................................... 13 STDs and Premature Pregnancy. ............................................................................................ 13 Divorce ................................................................................................................................... 14 Minimizing Risks ............................................................................................................................ 15 Conclusion ..................................................................................................................................... 16 Bibliography .................................................................................................................................. 17

PURPOSE OF STUDY

The sole reason for conducting this study is to identifying the reasons behind people getting into relationships with each other, Type of relationships they face in their adulthood. The study also identifies the importance of relationships in individuals life, the benefits of being in relationship and the cost associated with every type of interpersonal relationship. The study also identifies some major problems arising from early adulthood relationships. In the end provided some solutions has been provided to help youngsters overcome the daily life issues arising and lead them to improve their communication skills and conflict management techniques.

INTRODUCTION

The need to belong is a basic human motive Humans have a universal want to belong and to love which is satisfied within an intimate relationship. Intimate relationships consist of the people that we are attracted to, whom we like and love, romantic and sexual relationships, and those whom we marry and provide and receive emotional and personal support from. Intimate relationships provide people with a social network of people that provide strong emotional attachments and fulfill our universal need of belonging and the need to be cared for. Relationships are considered to be near the top of what makes one happy, and the absence of meaningful relationships can make people feel lonely and worthless. An intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy is characterized by romantic or passionate love and attachment, or sexual activity. Being attractive or liked is an important characteristic to many college students. The lives of many students at the University/college level involve a lot of socializing and partying. Many students go out to the social events or party every weekend and some students are looking to meet someone. The intentions vary among students in regards to relationships due to the busy schedules students have. People look for someone to hang out with and date, some look for more friends and others look for a long term, serious relationship. There can be several reasons behind the start of a relationship. Some wants to be famous among their peers, some wants mental satisfaction, some wants to satisfy their sexual needs and there maybe people who only wants a good company to pass their time. Romantic relationships become increasingly significant in the lives of young people as they move from early to late adolescence. Romantic relationships tend to increase in prevalence throughout

adolescence. Intimate relationships play a central role in the overall human experience.

LITERATURE REVIEW

Neither intimacy nor individual development can exist alone. The birth of a child initiates a human being into a life-long process of mutual adaptation between the child, his or her intimate relationship partners and the broader social environment. Intimate interactions and relationships affect adaptations to the changing needs and stresses that evolve with each stage of development throughout one's lifetime. Intimate interactions from early life serve as the basis upon which relationships later in life are formed. Environmental contingencies to which individuals must adapt are rooted in these relationships. In an attempt to adapt to other people's styles of relating, one must adjust his or her own behaviors (Baldwin, 1992). Young people spend a great deal of time thinking about, talking about, and being in romantic relationships (Furman, 2002), yet adults typically dismiss adolescent dating relationships as superficial. Young people do not agree: half of all teens report having been in a dating relationship and nearly onethird of all teens said they have been in a serious relationship (Teenage Research Unlimited, 2006). Although most relationships last for only a few weeks or months, these early relationships play a pivotal role in the lives of young people and are important to developing the capacity for long-term, committed relationships in adulthood. The quality of adolescent romantic relationships can have long lasting effects on self-esteem and shape personal values regarding romance, intimate relationships, and sexuality (Barber & Eccles, 2003).

INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS & PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT According to Cardillo, intimate relationships formed during the early stages of life ultimately gives rise to an individual's personality development is an insightful and well-supported theory. She states that these relationships are formed as adaptive measures necessary for coping with the adjustments and transitions that come with the various stages of maturation in one's early life.

SIGNIFICANCE OF RELATIONSHIP Romantic relationships become increasingly significant in the lives of young people as they move from early to late adolescence. Although dating has not yet begun, in early adolescence, most youth are very preoccupied with romantic issues. Youth at this age spend significant amounts of time in mixed-gender groups that intensify their romantic interest and may eventually lead to romantic relationships (Connolly, Craig, Goldberg, & Pepler, 2004). Romantic relationships are central to social life during middle to late adolescence (ages 15-19). Threefourths of teens age 16-18 report having had a relationship, dated, or hooked up with someone and half of these youth have had a serious boyfriend or girlfriend (Teenage Research Unlimited, 2006). Many youth in middle to late adolescence report spending more time with their romantic partner than with friends and family (Furman & Schaffer, 2003). It has been pointed out that men and women tend to have very different orientations toward intimacy and commitment: specifically, that men fear commitment Psychologist Warren Farrel has explained that this is because mens fantasy is to relate to other women without the risk of rejection; for women, commitment means the fulfillment of their fantasy: to have a relationship with one man who provides love and security. As Benokraitis makes clear, men are more romantic than women, but less intimate.

TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE

The triangular theory of love explains the topic of love in an interpersonal relationship. Psychologist Robert Sternbergs theory describes types of love based on three different scales: intimacy, passion, and commitment. It is important to recognize that a relationship based on a single element is less likely to survive than one based on two or more. Different stages and types of love can be explained as different combinations of these three elements. For example, the relative emphasis of each component changes over time as an adult romantic relationship develops. 1. Liking in this case is not used in a trivial sense. Sternberg says that this intimate liking characterizes true friendships, in which a person feels a bond, a warmth, and a closeness with another but not intense passion or long-term commitment. 2. Infatuated love is often what is felt as "love at first sight." But without the intimacy and the commitment components of love, infatuated love may disappear suddenly. 3. Empty love: Sometimes, a stronger love deteriorates into empty love, in which the commitment remains, but the intimacy and passion have died. In cultures in which arranged marriages are common, relationships often begin as empty love. 4. Romantic love: Romantic lovers are bonded emotionally (as in liking) and physically through passionate arousal. 5. Companionate love is often found in marriages in which the passion has gone out of the relationship, but a deep affection and commitment remain. Companionate love is generally a personal relation you build with somebody you share your life with, but with no sexual or physical desire. 6. Fatuous love can be exemplified by a whirlwind courtship and marriage in which a commitment is motivated largely by passion, without the stabilizing influence of intimacy. 7. Consummate love is the complete form of love, representing the ideal relationship toward which many people strive but which apparently few achieve. Sternberg cautions that maintaining a consummate love may be even harder than achieving it.

DISCUSSION

How to promote healthy interpersonal relationships

First of all we must know the types of interpersonal relationships.

FRIENDS Play an important role in the lives of young adults. Most human relationships, including casual acquaintances, are non-loving in that they do not involve true passion, commitment, or intimacy. According to Sternberg, intimacy, but not passion or commitment, characterizes friendships. In other words, closeness and warmth exist without feelings of passionate arousal and permanence. Friends normally come from similar backgrounds, share the same interests, and enjoy each other's company CASUAL RELATIONSHIPS There are two kinds of casual relationships that are most common and easily identifiable. The first are casual dating relationships, while the second are casual physical relationships. Casual dating most commonly begins in adolescence. The originator to dating is generally the mixed-gender group friendships that form in preadolescence. These are followed developmentally by group dating, then by dyadic (or couple) dating of increasing levels of intimacy and commitment, and finally by cohabitation and/or marriage. As teens move from mixed-gender friendship to group dating to couple dating, their levels of intimacy, commitment, emotional maturity, and sexual experience tend to increase (Connolly et al., 2004; Gallmeier et al., 2002). Friendship networks often play important and varied roles in the dating process (Harper et al., 2004; Connolly et al., 2004; Kuttler and La Greca, 2004). In general, adolescent dating relationships do not lead to long-term committed relationships, but rather serve as contexts for adolescents to develop and practice the intimacy and communication skills that their adult relationships will require.

COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS Many adolescents and adults form close or intimate relationships with others, relationships characterized by affective, cognitive and physical closeness. . Although there is an element of physical intimacy, it need not be sexual. On the other hand, many people believe that it is appropriate for two people who are committed to each other or in love to engage in physical intimacy. Beliefs about the appropriateness of physical intimacy with particular kinds of persons reflect social norms, norms that are embedded in the groups one belongs to and enforced by friends and family. The norms in most societies include homogeny in sexual relationships, that the partner be of similar age, race/ethnicity, religion and social status. A common pattern among adolescents and adults in some societies is serial monogamy, in which one person engages in a series of two or more intimate relationships, often being faithful while in a relationship. For some people, this is a stage in development as the person moves from more casual relationships to a committed, long-term or lifelong relationship. According to the NHSLS, among married persons 20 to 29 in the United States, 40 percent of the men and 28 percent of the women had two or more partners prior to marriage (Laumann, et al., 1994).

COHABITATION Refers to an unmarried couple living together. There are varying levels of residential sharing, from living together apart or maintaining separate residences, to spending some nights at the partners residence, to living together in one residence. These relationships represent commitment, because the couple is making a public declaration of their sexual relationship. In some developed countries, cohabitation is an alternative to marriage. In the United States in 2000, 5 percent of all households were comprised of unmarried partners; 90 percent involved a heterosexual couple, 5 percent involved two men and 5 percent involved two women (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2005). One-third of heterosexual cohabiting relationships last less than one year. Sixty percent lead to marriage; these marriages are more likely to end in divorce than marriages not preceded by cohabitation (Smith, 2003).

MARRIAGE Refers to a relationship between two people based on a religious or legal compact. The compact confers recognition and certain rights on partners in an intimate sexual relationship. For centuries, most societies have had established procedures for and recognized marriages involving one man and one woman. Some societies now provide for and recognize marital relationships involving two men or two women, including Belgium, Canada, Netherlands, and Spain. In the United States, a few states allow such marriages, but their legal status is unresolved in 2005. At least 90 percent of the men and women in almost every country in the world marry (United Nations, 2000). Men generally marry at older ages than women throughout the world.

EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS Are reported by 25% of married men and 15% of married women (Laumann, et al., 1994). Typically, the spouse is unaware of the partners extramarital activities. Many men and women engage in this activity only once while they are married; at the other end of the frequency continuum are those who engage in it throughout their marriages. The incidence varies by ethnicity; 27% of Blacks report extramarital sexual activity compared with 14% of Whites (Smith, 1994). Hispanics report the same incidence as Whites (Laumann, et al., 1994). Several reasons have been suggested for extramarital relationships, including perceived inequity (Sprecher, 1999), dissatisfaction with marital sexual relationships, dissatisfaction with or conflict within the marriage, and placing greater emphasis on personal growth and pleasure than fidelity (Lawson, 1988). One study of such extra dyadic relations, with a sample of 349 persons ages 17 to 70 (48% married), found that 28% of men and 29% of women had cheated on a current partner (Hicks & Leitenberg, 2001).

NEED OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS AT YOUNG AGE

IDENTITY. One of the key developmental tasks of adolescence is forming a sense of identity. Young
people are in the process of refining their personal values and determining future goals. Just like relationships with family and friends, romantic relationships can facilitate the process of youth gaining a greater understanding of who they are and what they value. INTERPERSONAL SKILLS. Adolescent romantic relationships can also provide a training ground for youth to develop interpersonal skills. Through their dating relationships, adolescents often refine their communication and negotiation skills, develop empathy, and learn how to maintain intimate relationships. The emotional ups and downs associated with getting together and breaking up may also help youth develop important skills. While breakups may put some young people at risk for depression, they may also help youth develop emotional resiliency and coping skills needed to handle difficulties later in life (Barber & Eccles, 2003). EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. As adolescents become more autonomous from their parents, their romantic relationships increasingly become a source of emotional support. One study found that, among tenth graders, only close friends provide more support than romantic partners (Furman, 2002). The role of romantic relationships as a source of support and identity formation may be especially important for sexual minority youth who are often compelled by social norms to keep their sexual orientation secret from family and friends. For sexual minority youth, their romantic partners may be the only people with whom they feel comfortable (and safe) sharing their thoughts and feelings about their sexual identity (Barber & Eccles, 2003).

RISKS ASSOCIATED WITH RELATIONSHIPS

While healthy romantic relationships have many potential benefits for youth, unhealthy relationships pose risks that may have long-lasting impact. Youth are particularly vulnerable to becoming involved in relationships that include dating violence and risky sexual activity. In fact, teens report dating abuse more often than any other age group (National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, 2006). ABUSE. Adolescents in relationships are at great risk for experiencing verbal, emotional, and physical abuse from their partners. A majority of teens (61 percent) who have been in relationships report that a partner has made them feel bad or embarrassed about themselves. More than one- fourth (27 percent) of dating teens said that they have a partner call them names or put them down. Nearly onethird (30 percent) of teens who have been in relationships said that they have worried about being physically hurt by a partner and 15 percent said they have been hit, slapped, or pushed by a partner (Teenage Research Unlimited, 2006. Involvement in abusive relationships can have lasting consequences for youth. Teens who have experienced physical dating abuse are more likely to be involved in intimate partner violence as adults (National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, 2006). STDS AND PREMATURE PREGNANCY. Dating relationships also put teens at risk of sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy (Furman, 2002). A significant minority of teens in romantic relationships report feeling pressure to engage in sexual activity. One out of four teens report that having sex is expected if you are in a relationship and almost one-third of teen girls who had been in a relationship said that they have been pressured to engage in sexual acts when they did not want to. Additionally, nearly one-fourth of teen girls reported that they have gone further by physically intimating in a relationship then they wanted to (Teenage Research Unlimited, 2006). Sexual activity can, of course, have long-term consequences. Almost onethird of sexually active girls report having been pregnant (Suellentrop & Flanigan, 2006) and one out of two sexually active young people can expect to become infected with an STD by age 25 (Center for Health and Healthcare in Schools, 2004).

DIVORCE When significant problems in a relationship arise, some couples decide on divorce, or the legal termination of a marriage. About 50 percent of all marriages in the United States end in divorce, the average duration of these marriages is about 7 years. Both the process and aftermath of divorce place great stress on both partners. Divorce can lead to increased risk of experiencing financial hardship, developing medical conditions (for example, ulcers) and mental problems (anxiety, depression), having a serious accident, attempting suicide, or dying prematurely. The couple's children and the extended families also suffer during a divorce, especially when disagreements over custody of the children ensue. Most divorcees, their children, and their families eventually cope. About 75 percent of divorcees remarry, and most of these second marriages remain intact until the death of one of the spouses.

MINIMIZING RISKS

The risks associated with adolescent romantic relationships can be minimized by helping young people develop skills that support healthy relationships. Sexually active youth in healthy relationships are more likely to engage in behaviors that minimize their risk of pregnancy and STDs, including more consistent contraceptive use, greater disclosure of sexual histories, and more sexual exclusivity (Manning, Giordano, Longmore, & Flanigan, 2006). Additionally, school and community-based programs that help youth recognize genderbased stereotypes, improve conflict-management and communication skills, and decrease acceptance of partner violence have been shown to be effective in reducing dating violence in adolescent relationships (Foshee, Bauman, Arriaga, Helms, Koch, & Linder, 1998).

CONCLUSION

The study shows that the relationships at younger age play an important role in the personality development of adults and have a greater impact on the lives of individuals. Study identifies that relationships are strongly affected by cultural values, norms and environment of the individuals. At one hand these relationships has benefits like self esteem, mental & physical satisfaction, greater motivation, self security, mental support in stressful conditions at the same time these relationships have several risks associated with them such as violence, abuse, sexually transmitted disease and divorces. To overcome these conflicts several steps can be taken which may include effective skill building programs where young adults should be taught the perks & benefits of healthy relationships and to make the able to realize the difference between what is right & wrong. Young people are very welcoming in learning about relationships for that purpose several college based programs can be organized to build their interpersonal skills. These programs can result in changing attitude towards violence, and help individuals to identify negative aspects of their relationships. Several workshops can be conducted in universities on conflict management, anger control and problem solving. By teaching youngsters to recognize the benefits of healthy relationships and help them in developing the communication and interpersonal skills can help them in maintaining meaningful and fulfilling relationships both in adolescence and into adulthood

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Sternberg, R. J. (1988) The Triangle of Love: Intimacy, Passion, Commitment, Basic Books (ISBN 0465087469). DeLamater & Hasday. Sociological Perspectives Albert, B., Brown, S., & Flanigan, C. (Eds.). (2003). 14 and younger:The sexual behavior of young adolescents (Summary). Washington, DC: National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Bouchey, H. A., & Furman, W. (2003). Dating and romantic experiences in adolescence. In G. R. Adams & M. Berzonsky (Eds.) The Blackwell handbook of adolescence. Oxford, UK: Blackwell Publishers. Furman, W. (2002). The emerging field of adolescent romantic relationships. Current Directions in Psychological Science 11(5), 177-180. Furman, W., & Schaffer, L. (2003). The role of romantic relationships in adolescent development. In Florsheim, P. (Ed.), Adolescent romantic relations and sexual behavior: theory, research, and practical implications. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.