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Stephen

O'Connor The Hipster's


and got a toilet... here. my There's

Hopper
goes thought a lot of water into in

time I turn on a faucet, "Every the river. It's a deep river you

Lowell. My
from heaven,

thought does not have to be improved, because


just like you got yours." Jack

I got it
Kerouac

the city, those New York or Paris or and conquered away Oh names came to be spoken wherever and whose Hollywood, own. An odd is honored?Lowell's genius company?forever few who went we connected nowhere else but here, where love them because as they burned across the world's shed a few sparks of stage, they town. Bette Davis?her house is glory over us, and the old mill down on Chester Street offWestford, swells and my heart right a supporting I drive by. Not Davis. when actress, pal. Bette on the house. Damn a plaque too. And There's there's right, James MacNeil House Museum hour, outside but a more Whistler. of Art; His you is now The Whistler birthplace can see the whole in an collection impartial hour you won't spend can visit the museum and shoot

but

they

cast

long

shadows

over

and pleasant amonastic retreat.You of

over to the Athenian Corner for lunch, and tell Stavros right was a Lowell sent you. Yeah, Whistler that Guy LaChance boy, or not he wanted to admit it. Only the most whether produced Lisa. We'll in the whole after the Mona world famous painting take him. And Throw but a did Imention man that Ed McMahon is from Lowell? a stick downtown good straight hit a comedian, and you'll probably is hard to find. Try sitting in a chair for just as a shadow the city, and that travels through

cold was it, Johnny?" thirty years saying, "How one you can feel?not But the big one?the awareness that pervades but as an encompassing Lowellians like a ghostly follows companion 218

belongs

not

to Davis

Kerouac, and the town, that the whole I realized Caf? over mountains a

because

Kerouac

orWhistler, didn't

or Ed McMahon, but to Jack live here, he wrote about us just projected on the stars

and gave our sees. world that about

soul an image years town

du Carrefour of Ardeche.

twenty in a little

glass of pastisse, I said, wondering what he would make ofthat. from Lowell," "/e ville de Kerouac." "Ah oui," he responded irnmediately There's South

Iwas sitting at the ago when called St. Pierre, lost in the a fellow Imet Iwas chatting with there, Iwas from. "I'm and he asked me where

the Grove, Belvidere, Pawtucketville, Lowell, I live in the Highlands of Lowell, not very the Acre... Centralville, Iwalk the dog or go last abode. When far from Jack Kerouac's take a route that sends me by that for a little run, I generally so it was It's just a thing I do, I don't even know why. And an item of considerable to possess that I contrived sig literary unusual?and connected with nificance; intimately something house. J.L.K. Not belonged of provenance not to put too fine to The Lonesome but a point on it, I acquired I don't Traveler himself. I have witnesses. That a toilet have that letters

exactly, saw mean Jack... well,?I people people who I have photos take it from the house, his house. And in front of the aforementioned house.

is... witnesses, saw me who of the toilet

It all began, as my daughter's say, one brisk day in storybooks an evening I laden with of excess, the guilt of January, when, in order. Soon, exercise was in paint determined that vigorous stained and churn sweat pants, and two faded up the street. As I passed once held Hmmrn. I began sweatshirts, in which the house to chug the King was in that renovation

court, I remarked I spied a pile of rubble on the front porch, and progress. amid it, a dated, pale pink porcelain toilet. Wheels in my rotated s toilet! it be? It must cerebellum. Could have been?Kerouac of the Beats to wander my mind Immediately, began through paths of propi tious augury. Hadn't thousand dollars paid twenty Johnny Depp to Tony for Jack's old beer-stained that filthy raincoat, Sampas one he's wearing in the sad photos George Poirier took? That

219

THE MASSACHUSETTS was toilet Mr.

REVIEW I saw myself

the rumored on

dollars, no less, I should think, at auction, that surprise you?" itwas worth "Well, not really," I say, cute liar that I am. "I knew at least that when I discovered that a good deal of The Vanity of was composed Duluoz here." right LaChance. Does "And of course the idea that the water that stood in this bowl to the river, was a for Kerouac ultimately metaphor to heaven. So it's for the idea that his own thought was connected a puzzle, a literary treasure, an extremely key piece of the Kerouac connected
important..."

Antiques thousand "Seventy

price, anyway. Roadshow.

standing

beside

the

was

I had came Charlie from

circled

once

the block, still lost in these ruminations, I when in view of the seat. Now it happens that again a co-worker domicile. and friend, lives across the street I ran off of the road and up to his and wondered how I could broach appearing to be?well, a person

Koukalakis, Jack's former

I rang the doorbell, the subject of the toilet without an interest in toilets. with front door. Charlie that I come a football had company, in and meet called name

but, convivial them. There from

host that he was Theresa, Endicott

is, he insisted his wife, and

coach

his wife, whose heard in my excitement. me a coffee or a beer. "Nah, Iwas me with mild

Lenny not only He

and School High have I forgotten, but I never even me all around, and offered presented

and..."The guests regarded just jogging by Charlie, I call on people interest, probably wondering why I just couldn't think of anything else to say. during my exercises. across the street." "I see they're remodeling "Huh? offered. like what dripping "Wasn't Oh, Charlie in a new bathroom," Charlie yeah, he's putting is an awfully civil guy. He always makes you feel even when some point, in said had you you walk new bathroom. sweat and talking about his neighbor's that Kerouac 's house? Back in the 60s?" Imanaged,

casually. "Yeah, yeah mation. "When

it was." And

Charlie

had more

this guy moved

in, he found

infor pertinent a box of notebooks

220

The Hipsters Hopper and threw them out." said, "They'd be kicking himself." coach be worth a pretty penny

The

football

today. He must "Oh, yeah. Well "Charlie, lived there?" He looked each other. has

didn't realize. people remodeled the bathroom been

since Kerouac

were women at raising their eyebrows puzzled. The on in I don't think so." It was like a light went "Ah, s toilet?" his eyes just as I asked, "So that was Jack Kerouac it was." "Yes, yes, I imagine "You'd better grab it," said the coach, nodding sagely. "The toilet toilet could be significant, on toilet heard On I seem because I know he used heart to write on paper." "He wrote

pace.

I had never

paper?" that. the Road

I asked, my on So

picking of

up

its

"Yeah, he wrote hundred foot rolls on

to recall.

long rolls it makes was

toilet paper, sense he wrote I

the toilet, probably that toilet." "I think that was paper. That teletype said, disappointed. "What's teletype paper?" "I don't know. A never fit long roll of paper. Like

teletype

paper,"

they use at The Lowell

Sun!' "He'd that in his bathroom." of course, but I really don't think he had it "Well, it's smaller in his bathroom." "The toilet wasn't

in his bathroom?"

I don't know!" "Yes. No. this guy trying to explain Imagine on a run to the football team. No the blocking scheme bootleg I'd never heard of their team, or of the school for that wonder
matter.

had

I suddenly got nervous turned from one of interest.

about amused

those women. sarcasm

Their of

to one

expressions rather too the whole artifact of ever prove

keen

notion

I laughed to deflate loudly, attempting that anyone would in this useless be interested the King of the Beats. "Well, anyway, how could you that it was Kerouac's?"

221

THE MASSACHUSETTS "Well I would

REVIEW for the fact "Yeah that you it from

vouch

got

his

said. house," Charlie even more I laughed here from Charlie Kooks! myself starting to remind Tell Tale Heart." The coveted Kerouac eration "Getting people!" women

loudly.

Really! of that insane

right. I got a letter right That's rich! Ha ha!" I was narrator in Poe's "The

were

peering

convenience; had sat there on hundreds cold!

already the work composing of feet of Charmin. Nice

at the the front curtain through no doubt, convinced that Jack that defined I made meeting my a gen excuses.

See ya later Chaaaalie!

you?you

soon

I began my and my calculations, my campaign dreaming as the door closed behind me. I trotted off, and mindful I was careful not

as of

to cast a single glance back at the I should go out onWednesday pale pink relic. Trash would night. I could probably wait. As twilight settled over the avenue pick it it fit in my trunk? Was this all folly? What up.Would proof could Lott's wife, I get? That would be the second part of must be to secure Jack's John. to relate adventure I've begun The or the problem. The first

on a Sunday. began was it Ironically, Super Bowl by cosmic synchronization, I did not disturb my by the house by driving thoughts Sunday. or Tuesday, but I on Monday to check on the article in question confess that I did ask Charlie if the toilet still sat in its wonted

I found Each that he hadn't noticed. time, he told me position. to imagine. On Wednesday he gave me that difficult morning, the strictest secrecy on the proj the same reply. I had maintained to letMr. Hogg ect up to this point. I decided in on the scheme, a teacher, like me, or and yes, that's his name, Arthur Hogg. He's or to watch the grammar, rather "as am I." (You have people a teacher the language! and he don't know guy's are ruined!") Mr. Hogg and literature, appreciates My a truck. He's a good man; of course he's a bit haggard after he has a name in front of high school kids with twenty years spending on next to mine I used to hear him in the classroom like Hogg. whine, "This children 222

The Hipsters Hopper the first day of school shouting, "My name.. a problem with that?" anyone got Arthur was on board with the toilet mission .is Mister Has

Hogg\

He irnrnediately said that he would the pick-up truck by my house after bring around 3:30. "Hi school, and he arrived, true to the Hogg word, she has my eight year old daughter Cara said, because Athahogg," a Brazilian soccer that, like that of long been under the impression player, his name brother Brennan utes. is one word. that Arthur across to Cara and her older I explained and I had to go out for a few min the street to my sister's house. On the

I sent the kids

sounds said, "Athahogg! Your voice way out the door, my daughter son laughed at this. like Eeyore's She and my voice!" merrily to the scene of the?well, I directed Arthur to the scene. Iwas rather cheery, feeling alive with the sound for a thousand I sang, "The hills are and along the way, of muuuuusic, with songs they have sung I noted that Arthur didn't seem to yeeeaaaars..."

share my frivolity The truck gears grinded I and he grimaced. terminated my song of joy "There's I said eagerly. He the house!" that Kerouac would have lived in some old baroque thought mansion, or a castle out of Doctor Sax. He was class home. neat, upper middle in all its pink it was, splendor. my heart betrayed. falling under good It was to then see "It's still there!" to see a surprised I cried. For there that not it did been

I candidly And admit it there, for my had hopes that I should have first suspected

that Iwas

the spell of the toilet. Rather trash was not out; the grail of awkward, though. The our quest was still on the front porch. "Wait here," I said, but me as I approached Arthur followed the front door. I bravely the rang Cathedral? doorbell. Ben? I heard I don't chimes within?Winchester I'm not very musical. When know; Big no one after a few minutes, I drew out the digital appeared and photographed the toilet close up and long view, camera, from angles that included the front door and number of the house. This was my documentation. for the as if he

to be thrown out. Here's "It's obviously the box going toilet. Do you think we can take it?" I asked Arthur, were some sort of expert on Law. Garbage new

223

THE MASSACHUSETTS "I think

REVIEW

that as long as it's on the property, and not out by the to take it." curb, you need the owner's permission can be I knew Of course that he was correct. Ethical people such a nuisance when the enterprise is suspect. Arthur could never work I lifted the seat and tank a few inches, for the C.I.A. to discover and was relieved that it wasn't really very heavy. The two know of us stood there for a moment, looking at the next toilet. "I it sounds I feel but strange, Mr. Hogg, some kind of connection is here." part?" he asked, and by the look losing his zeal for the project. to come back later. You he gave me feel a little I to this old standing with Jack Kerouac. Like

crapper, some part of him "Yeah? Which could see he was

I'll have "Anyway, cheated, Arthur?"

don't

the years of fife with "Guy, I've gone forty-seven through name Hogg, as if "Arthur" wasn't bad enough, and you're asking me if I feel a little cheated? I live with." It's a condition When anyway?" "Ah, beats me," a chronically
his aura.

we

got back

in the truck, he asked me, have I think the heart he

"Who

is Eeyore, itwas in

I said. I didn't donkey.

to tell him had

depressed

already

a hole

in my fife I read that little story called "Araby," point the heck was that story about? Anyway, What by James Joyce. one line always stuck in my head?something like: What innu laid waste my waking and sleeping hours... merable follies look it up, but something like that. Of course he was I'd have under to the

At

some

a so it's a little different than a toilet. I don't think spell of girl, was I the spell of the toilet, but I have to admit I exactly under was giving it a lot of thought. My wife Hannah asked me why so quiet I said. She during dinner. "Just thinking," as if to say, "Oh brother, there he goes thinking again." I put my own arrived. After dinner Wednesday night out, and eased the Ford out of the Iwas laughed

garbage stars were driveway. The was in a frozen January filled with sky, and my heart twinkling artifact would be out by now. the Kerouac anticipation. Surely 224

The Hipsters Hopper It wasn't, truth. walked but there were on lights car door open in the house. like a The moment man of and

good to the front door. Those silly chimes again. I directly to reveal a young man heard voices, and the door opened and a at the toilet where it sat, I saw with little boy Glancing horror that the lid of "Sorry "Yeah, boy looked tank had gone missing. this toilet?" you. Are you discarding was an affable fellow. His take it if you want." He the to bother

I threw my

honest

little

up at me, no doubt thinking, "The strange man wants I thought, maybe he'll remember me or the toilet."Who knows, I remember wonder who the hell Iwas all his life, the way and used to pull his wagon wonder about the rag man who down Street wearily "Raaaags!" Marginal yelling "Are you around?" if he guy just came by, like you, and asked me could have the cover. His was cracked or something." It was as if I had a first hardbound edition of On the Road "Some other that some dunderhead had just my grasp, only to discover a drawer. Oh well; torn off the dust jacket to line the lid was I schlepped but the toilet remained. it into my trunk, gone, the rear of the old Ford sink a few inches. I noticed the watching within the previous owner, to his ear, watching Iwaved. After in a window owner, standing me drive away. Stupid with a with phone embarrassment, throwing out the lid to the water tank, too? Is that

the toilet in the garage, I called Arthur. "I am stowing not in right now," intoned the lugubrious voice, "but please leave a message and Iwill call you back." I whispered, to "the Eagle has landed!' I was about "Hogg," hang up, but Iwas forced Upstairs my wife whores to add, "A few feathers are missing." was some show about a crowd watching to marry who all wanted this millionaire. then at the I decided toilet for I'd rather go back a while. Mike, of I out our

prime-time watched for a few minutes, to the garage and look

followed me out, and stood Schnauzer, to the toilet ing from me expectantly. on an old desk in the corner of

there blinking and look a I noticed pile of books the garage, and from among 225

THE MASSACHUSETTS them kitchen Iwithdrew

REVIEW copy of Dubliners. to reread "Araby." said to me, I sat down at the

a battered

table and began

The next evening in the garage." is?" "There "Hello?

my wife

"Honey,

there's

a toilet

You mean slic you didn't put it there?" She stopped the cabbage and looked at me with, what would the King of ing the Beats call it? The timeless of perplexed wifehood. eyeballs Mike raised his head, sensing the tension with that special dog sense or that lets them is making that the know if there's if a UFO circles to be going in your cornfield. earthquake, I was tempted sure award," but Iwasn't it funny. ah, what's in an off an

toilet was "a major or find the reference, that was, "Oh, yeah, that toilet, the pink toilet? Yeah, s toilet," I said Kerouac his name... the writer?Jack to tell her she'd remember handed manner.

to tell her the story that I have told I proceeded a tone, and with you, only in slightly different slightly different different You the way details, know, involving slightly people. married relate most of their stories to their wives. She soon guys interest, confuse just On lost or grew weary, thank God. the hell out of them. Sometimes it helps to

and Iwere invited to a neighbor Saturday night my wife artist friends of ours. Yes, hood party at the home of the Eliots, we have artists in Lowell. Will is a retired illustrator, and his wife Ah, the aire, still life, and of course, naked if you can get it. Philosophy people. Ars gratia artista. Nice work there. Lovely Professor Meyer and his Polish wife Anna were are and drink tea on their veranda. They polyglots, people. They rarified life of the artist. Plein in The New Yorker, but the actual they read not just the cartoons in the closet, and if their TV and reviews. They articles keep take it out and there's some really great opera on channel 2, they set it up. So I'll put my neighbors up against anyone's neighbors
for class.

a marriage is actually "Life Drawing" classes

but therapist, at The Whistler

they both paint. House Museum.

They

do

226

The Hipsters Hopper a glass of Pinot Grigio and I had provided my wife with a Bass Ale, with I left her in the kitchen chatting myself at Iwinked Will and a few other women. wife Elizabeth Will's to follow me into the for them and nodded and the Professor, Once with living room, where a cheerful induced "Listen boys, a fire in the grate, and a drink in the hand camaraderie. s toilet in my garage." The Jack Kerouac I've and for the first time since glasses,

I have

his adjusted professor or perhaps he was wait at a loss for words, him appeared known a and said, "What?" line.Will chuckled, ing for punch I told them the story. Professor Meyer and laughed offhandedly, or curious, but to find the artifact mildly seemed inclined amusing on the other hand, real interest.Will, appeared essentially without to have wanted been struck with what a bolt Iwould from do with "You for some to know He literary Olympus. Imentioned and when it, can't do that!" he cried. asked.

indignantly. E-bay he protested "It's not amanuscript, Will. "How much do you want Professor

It's a toilet." it?"Will

could you put a price on said, "Well, how Meyer sarcastic. such a thing?" I think he was being to be flurnrnoxed I said, "I'm loathe to part with it hon Not I'll let it go." bids three hundred but if someone bucks, estly, "Done," Will said, and thrust a hand out to seal the deal. He
was serious.

"Wait with it?"

aminute,

Will.

Are

you

sure?What

are you

going

to do

"It's goin' glass of wine the fire." "Of sit on

right there\" he said, raising his index finger from his to indicate the fireplace. there. To the left of "Right easel in front, a

can set your course," said the professor,"you it and shout 'O for a muse of fire!'" think

Liz,Will.You "Ah, you'd better check with venture Iwould toilet next to her fireplace? ical statement who wants that the woman fireplace Will nothing has not looked so awful been born." Professor

she wants next a categor to her

to make a toilet

truly perplexed. as a fact, Will."

Meyer

said, "There's

227

THE MASSACHUSETTS

REVIEW

I continued,"I'm afraid it might cause..." "Alienation of the affections," the professor. supplied "Are you kidding me?"Will incredulous. "Are you kid asked, isn't.. .this isJack Kerouac's toilet! Right therel" He ding me? This stretched a hand out toward the fireplace in noble determination, as if he were about to cry "Go west young man!" I admired his reckless
Custer.

bravado?not

for

nothing

did

he

resemble

General

"I gotta tell you Will, "It may be an-aesthetic "Color," responded function of the object, The wives wandered the doorbell from

it's pink. in any shade," commented Will "as well imperiously, is irrelevant! in from

the professor. as the normal

rang. Bob the neighborhood, had arrived. As Elizabeth ushered couples to explain them into the fire ht room, Will his began earnestly and its future place of prominence in the Eliot proposed purchase, home. as the whole I cringed listened neighborhood to be my attempt to fob off on a friend a used appeared renown at an exorbitant dubious price. Though in no mood a marriage to what toilet of

Absolutely!" the kitchen, and at the same time and Hildy and Bruce and Chris, more

see that Elizabeth was I could counselor, for a therapeutic The of her hearth dialogue. image into a defecatory transformed shrine, even to a local hero, was too much for her. Hannah that I had appeared equally annoyed a toilet on the to impose managed gathering. Will was restating in his possession. his case, with the only argument isJack "This Kerouac's toilet! Doesn't /i?" get anybody and raised eyebrows There were brows, pursed lips, furrowed people don't get Will as tried to get it. Elizabeth it, and you're not going tried the clincher?again. come in your of art. People said, "No they don't to get it! Forget it!" "Think about it. Think get it. I

of it as

a piece house, and you say,'See that? See that right there? That was Jack Kerouac's... toilet!'" care if the toilet to Jesus "Are you crazy? I don't belonged Christ!" Professor Meyer. shit," muttered "Holy a few words in Polish Anna whispered 228 to the professor. I didn't

The Hipsters need


"Shut

Hopper like,

to
up."

speak with

the

language

to know

it was

something

that he had some interjected aplomb, diplomatic so and I threw on our coats the professor, Bruce, Will, good cigars, to the frozen patio, to blow foul fogs of smoke and and adjourned over his wife's to our sullen sympathy bolster Will with inability Bruce, make "Am the creative inside I crazy? leap from the mundane out to the sublime. I left the beer and brought Is it me?" a small glass of Glenfiddich.

"Nah, Will, "No more "but

you're not crazy," I said reassuringly. the professor, than everyone else," commented love I think Will that you may be one of those people who once France said, that is more class, as Anatole than is generally supposed." ever asked a woman it would include every man who

suffering?a numerous "Well, to marry

over him," responded Will. As we chortled approvingly our cigars, he continued. swine thing. She's "It's the pearls before in the artistic he added with sense." And just unappreciative, to be?unappreciative." "Worse conviction, thing melancholy I said, and to cheer him up I "She's probably unappreciative," "and crazy." added, "I mean come on! Imean stogie Grant, "Yup," I concurred, other like old General "Now Imissed that's a piece of literary history!" in one hand, and whiskey in the "had his dharma bum right there!'

you

"Guy?could to have "It was

of the discussion," the beginning said Bruce, s heirs wanted tell me the story of why Kerouac you this toilet?"

I said. He was puzzled, but put off Bruce," tension amid the palpable such inquiries were questions a little to generate. We in silence smoked beginning longer, at a distance so great it was in the stars burn coldly watching his wish, further another dead age, and I couldn't very shortly and no ease the tension, toilets, either.To that we would help thinking care what one would became all be of our

I told a joke about this guy who to the doctor because his Johnson has turned orange. We goes the professor all had a good chuckle, of course, who except just sort of shook his head and said, "Oh, LaChance, LaChance..." 229

THE MASSACHUSETTS Let's face

REVIEW his TV and in the closet, reading and sits on

it, any guy who keeps the veranda sipping Darjeeling

Corpus Inscriptionum Atticarum?you're a little more with clever something to get a giggle out of him. He'd Johnson laugh and announced at Samuel Johnson that he

called something to have to come up going an orange than a guy with be more inclined to off

than an orange Johnson. Will cooled to do the magnanimous had decided

for the sake thing and pardon his wife's philistine ignorance?and the acquisition. We of domestic he would all nodded peace forgo the crapper at the sacred hearth was a losing approvingly, knowing cause from the git-go, no matter it up. how you dressed We tossed the house, our cigars in a frozen flowerpot, to me, the professor whispered controversy, he and as we "Well, that reentered settles a

long-standing philosophical that?" I asked. "What's "There Hannah is no wasn't free Will," too mad

Guy."

I explained helped. to that Iwas going Will that I had just been telling softly a few bucks, and all of a try to get rid of the piece of junk for sudden he got possessed. Very close to the truth. to her a local plumber, lid for the found amatching O'Byrne, a transformation water tank; it cost me twenty bucks, but what the end of January, a in the overall effect of the piece. Toward across the following on eBay would item have come browser 35 Standard 2 Pink Toilet F 40-13 under "Literary Memorabilia:" Emmet Dated the show Dec. toilet 1965-1969. to Beat Legend Jack Kerouac from 8, 1940, Belonging 500 Dollar Reserve. An accompanying photo depicted would in front of the house, which any investigation

responded. at me. The wine

to be the one in which Kerouac resided during the period Center the Media in question. Mr. Hogg, Mr. Hallsey, Director, the notice and I viewed the digital who had lent me camera, we had only to wait. proudly. Now, sent At the end of the first day, there were no bids, so Hallsey of one in for 550 dollars. He was already a registered member Ben Butler's he had purchased where spittoon. Just kidding. eBay, He 230 was interested in Roberto Benigni memorabilia.

The Hipsters Two: No bids, but LaChance: I had

Hopper

Day called Aux Of

an e-mail from a guy in France Vous me faites chier avec cette chiotte! Foquard. avec sa chiotte! Vous ?tes typiquemant Am?ricain! Vive chiottes A course bas LaChance! with a name like Guy LaChance, you probably is French. "Is he interested buying we would ship it to France? What

Kerouac!

that my background guessed it?" asked Mr. Hogg. "How does more your Down he "Well say?" it doesn't

sense in English make literally, but he says or less, 'You bore me with your toilet. To the toilets with are a typical American! toilet! You live Kerouac! Long with LaChance.'" do you make ofthat?" 500 bucks and he's jealous." Iwas determined time to become until it was In optimistic pessimistic. have

"Wow.What to remain the

"He doesn't

interests of international communications and open expres mettre chez les Grecs. Va te sion, I replied to Foquard, "Fofou: faire et je te battrai comme pl?tre!' For those of you Venez ici ? Lowell whose is rusty, well?rest assured that this Lowell Canuck French take any crap from the snail-eating deedonc. a three: No bids, but I received Day long e-mail from a fellow to inform me that who went by the handle "Canman." He wished of water chamber closets, commodes, large selection and slop pails of historic interest. pots, bidets, thrill was fading. Hallsey bids, no e-mails. The Day Four: No to even talk about our prospects. didn't seem to want I actually saw him hide once when come he saw me into the Media he had Center. I could understand that. Johnny to share the money I had hoped I made with my pals. "Easy it wasn't come, easy go," I thought. But easy after all. coming never did. it And s toilet. When I lost twenty bucks on Kerouac spring arrived to my wife I suggested that we plant geraniums in it and install it in the side yard, "Oh, great idea," she said. "Did you see that in Better Homes and Gardens?" "Well, it's better than next to the freakin' fireplace," I retorted. to tell him that I only wanted But he had toilet fatigue. Depp! I had written a letter to a didn't

231

THE MASSACHUSETTS I heard a

REVIEW

I do love her laugh. the kitchen. laugh from in my garage, and every now and then, on garbage to put it out, or to mysteriously I'm tempted leave it back night, on the I never do. It's useless. I got it, but It's pink. porch where It's still It's a toilet. But of it's worth it.Miss Walker, my old us a poem read by Robert to me that just enough seventh grade English Frost about a brook I can't get rid teacher, once are worth whatever

that concluded:

We

love the things we lovefor what they are. Some things what you can get for them; other things are worth they're worth Foquard finally became and to you. I exchanged kind

for a while, but we angry e-mails to come to of friendly, and now he wants to get drunk to see Kerouac in The 'sgrave, and I suspect, Lowell is now Ricardo 's. which Pawtucketville Social Club, or Nicky's, even mind He the toilet. Crazy admits he wouldn't seeing Frenchman. no doubt I don't I told him be another know I'd pick adventure. and that will up at Logan, tuned. Stay have told the story, but Joyce would into the it: "Gazing have concluded him as a creature

driven and derided by truth is and anger." The anguish a few and I may make disillusioned, matter. How doesn't But the money bucks yet, or so I tell myself. on my desk that my grand can I explain it? I have an arrowhead I have thirteen father ploughed up on his farm in Trois Pdviers. from different years in a black St. Patrick's Day pins Old Worthen bottle beret above the bar in my cellar. I have aNapoleon-handled vanity, and his eyes burned it's not like that. I wasn't with opener in the kitchen the rogue Pendergast, the garage. We love the things we to me by my dear late friend Jay given s toilet in I have Jack Kerouac scholar. And lovefor what they are.

how James can imagine how he might I toilet bowl, he saw himself

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