Cherish your life

Its my free day! Im going to do my things later or even tomorrow, theres still time anyway me, having this thing you called Maana habit. If I had the chance to change one thing on this Earth, it would probably be the maana habit. If it is really true that theres still time, why cant I talk to Ian anymore? Why cant I see him physically? Why cant I hug him like Ive always wanted? Ians a very important person to me. He is my cousin; his father and my mother were brothers and sisters and I am one year older than him. Every Christmas, we go to their house to celebrate it. His birthday falls every 24th day of December so we always had to celebrate two events: his birthday and the birthday of Jesus. We grew up together, not in the same house but in our same hearts. Ive always been excited when Septembers approaching, the countdown to Christmas starts and well be able to have the chance to see each other again and play. When we were still kids, we used to play together. I remembered when I took a summer vacation in their house when I was still 11 years old. We used to walk in their village with our hands together. He used to tour me around using their bicycle and tell stories about his crushes. When we grew older, everything seems to have changed. We barely talk to each other; we dont get the chance to say, Hi! How are you? Its like theres a big gap between us which I could not identify. Last Christmas, that was December 2010, we went again to their house. This time, I make sure that Ill talk to him like the way we were before. I dont know how will I start, hes so quiet and hes always out with his girlfriend and if hes in the house, hes busy texting her. What I did was I just keep on calling his name; anyway Im fond of doing this whenever I had nothing to say. I kept on saying Ian!! with the high tone of my voice. He only looked at me and smiled. The next morning, he mentioned my ribbon in my head and told me Thats cute! You have a little ribbon in your head as if youre a kid. At last, for a long time, he talked to me again. I went home Manila with a smile on our faces. February 23, 2011-I together with my friends went to Mall of Asia to celebrate our Valentines Day. We all wore red shirts and a smile on our faces. We were very happy. When the night came, we stayed on the seaside to take pictures and to see the view until I got a message from my tita. I was afraid to read it because I know shell scold me because its already late and Im not in home yet. When I opened the message, it goes: Do you have classes on Saturday? We will go to Nueva Ecija, Ians already dead. Tears ran down my face as I finished reading that message. I was shocked. I dont know how Ill react into it, I dont know what to say. I told my friends what happened and that I got to leave. I still cant believe it. Its like I am just in a deep sleep engaged in an awful nightmare.

What really happened to him? His parents told us that because Ian is a graduating student, hes doing a lot of things, including the all day stay in front of the computer. After he used the computer, about 4oclock in the afternoon, he immediately went to the bathroom to take a bath. After that, his head ached so hardly that he cant speak and move. His parents immediately take him to the hospital. The doctor said that one of the veins in Ians brain were cut or damaged. It is an Arteriovenous Malformations Disease or AVM. AVMs are defects of the circulatory system that are generally believed to arise during embryonic or fetal development or soon after birth. They are comprised of snarled tangles of arteries and veins. Of all the diseases, why does this one hit Ian? This is so hard for us to accept it because theres no way to detect it, there are no symptoms either. It can be detected only after youre ruptured or should I say dead. One more thing is that 1% every year dies as a result of AVM and Ians one of them. This kind of disease triggers with the age ranges 15-20 years old. After that, youre safe. I cried so hard, I wish I could turn back the time and hug him like Ive always wanted. On the other hand, Im still happy that for the last time, we had the chance to talk. I may not show him how much I care for him, but in my heart, hes only one Ian here. Lets always remember that death leaves a heartache no one can heal, but love leaves a memory no one can steal. Everything may happen in a blink of an eye, a snap of a finger or in a ticking of a clock. No one knows what may happen next. Cherish every moment you have, dont waste a single second doing non-sense things. Remind your love ones how much you love them before its too late. If you had the time to do it now, why do it tomorrow? Do it now. Live your life as if its your last day on Earth, but it doesnt mean that youre going to do anything you want. Learn to know whats your purpose, like what Richard Bach, an American writer, said Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. Live your life accordingly so that when the time comes that you would be living with God above, you have this satisfied feeling that life here in Earth is so happy and youve done your part with your love ones. Unexpected things happens, Ians death is a big punch in our hearts. Regrets keep passing our way. Acceptance is the only way to remove these aches in our hearts. One best way to start living is to love yourself. You life depends on how you handle it, so be clever. I hope this short sharing of my experience made you realize that lifes too short to waste it. Give your life a meaning, because a life without cause is a life without an effect.