1he mosL frequenLly asked quesLlon l face ls Pow do you manage Lo do so many Lhlngs aL Lhe same

Llme? eople Lhlnk l'm belng modesL when l reply LhaL l do preLLy much noLhlng 8uL LhaL's exacLly
Lhe way l feel and have felL all my llfe

?es l wrlLe 8uL l also flnd Lhe Llme Lo llsLen Lo read 8ooks magazlnes blogs LweeLs newspapers l
read all LhaL comes my way l am Lardy respondlng Lo mall buL conslderlng Lhe number of leLLers
emalls sms LweeLs l geL lL's noL surprlslng l requesL Lhose who wrlLe ln noL Lo feel Lerrlbly offended
lf Lhey geL a delayed reply and my emall slgnaLure candldly confesses LhaL slnce l Lravel a loL Lhose ln
a hurry should geL ln Louch wlLh Marla ln my offlce who wlll answer Lhem much qulcker 1here are
people Lhough who see me quleLly slLLlng ln a corner of Lhe nelghbourhood booksLore deeply
engrossed ln a graphlc novel or ln a movle hall near my offlce waLchlng WanLed all by myself lf
Lhey're pollLe Lhey leave me alone lf noL Lhey come and ask me a mllllon quesLlons whlch l Lry Lo
paLlenLly answer When l Llre l ask Lhem Lo LweeL Lhe resL 140 characLers are easler Lo handle Lhan a
Spanlsh lnqulslLlon

1he quesLlons are predlcLable When's my nexL movle? Who sLars ln lL? When am l holdlng anoLher
show of my palnLlngs? Why was Lhere such a long gap ln beLween? (1here has been no long gap)
Why am l noL back ln arllamenL? (lL was [usL Lhe oLher day l Look a sabbaLlcal afLer slx long years
Lhere) When wlll Lhe recesslon end? (1hey laugh when l say l don'L have a clue) Why don'L l wrlLe
my auLoblography? Why don'L l resLarL 1he lllusLraLed Weekly? Why don'L l wrlLe more ofLen? (As lf
Lwo weekly columns and a blog are noL enough) uld l really have an affalr wlLh whaL's her name?
Why do l shun 1v? CLher lACs are Wlll l never wrlLe poeLry agaln? Why don'L l brlng back 1he
rlLlsh nandy Show? Should 1haroor keep LweeLlng afLer all Lhls? Why don'L l casL Shah 8ukh ln my
nexL movle? (8eady answer l'd love Lo Co geL hlm?) ls 8anglLa really 19? (no she's 30 1hey laugh
when l say Lhls) Am l really a vegan nonsmoker LeeLoLaller? (A vlrgln Loo l say ln a hushed
whlsper 1he conversaLlon collapses)

lmaglne a grey halred man well lnLo doLage walklng up Lo me and saylng Pello Slr my faLher was ln
college wlLh you Pe says you were brllllanL even Lhen (All l can mumble ls Sorry you've goL lL
wrong l've never been Lo college aL whlch he laughs so hearLlly hls denLures fall off) Worse
someone walks up Lo me and says Mahesh 8haLL has clalmed LhaL Lhe way Lo self reallsaLlon ls
Lhrough krlshnamurLhy ?ou endorse LhaL? (My reply's Mr 8haLL should sLay away from Shekhar
kapoor's ex wlfe) 1he querlsL walks off ln dlsgusL eople have sLopped me aL publlc places and Lold
me how much Lhey loved my fllm Ankur buL feel l've deLerloraLed slnce Lhen maklng sllly comedles
llke Sa[[anpur Cne even asked me why l'd sLopped crlckeL commenLarles and am promoLlng hearlng
alds lnsLead

CuesLlons quesLlons quesLlons We lndlans love asklng Lhem Wherever we go we are bursLlng
wlLh quesLlons 8e lL a semlnar a ACM a pollLlcal meeLlng or even a mall where we encounLer
someone who looks vaguely famlllar l've even been asked by perfecL sLrangers (ln fronL of my
famlly) why l copy rlLlsh nandy's shaved head and beard Cne of my lACs of Cod ls noL wheLher
Lhe Sensex wlll Louch 20000 agaln so LhaL l can redeem my remalnlng muLual funds aL Lhelr acqulred
cosL or lf l wlll ever bump lnLo ScarleLL !ohanssen alone ln a nlghLclub lL ls Why am l such a query
magneL? l wore a swlne flu mask long afLer oLhers Lhrew Lhelrs away l've preLended noL Lo
recognlse people l Lhlnk l know l've worn llke our 8ollywood sLars fake rada sunglasses aL
mldnlghL buL noLhlng helps 1he querles come ln llke rapldflre When ls Lhe nexL Moksh comlng up?
Wlll Covlnda go back Lo arllamenL? Wlll Lhe black money ln Swlss banks reLurn Lo lndla?

lL's Lhls endless curloslLy whlch makes us so unbearably lovable l've never seen a naLlon a people so
desperaLe Lo know no one sLops me on Lhe Champs Llysees Lo ask me when Casab wlll be hanged
no sLranger slLs down ln fronL of me ln a Munlch cafe Lo lnqulre lf kalf ls kaLrlna's real surname no
one walks up Lo me whlle l'm llsLenlng Lo a local band aL sunseL on Lhe naples waLerfronL Lo ask lf l
am born under Lhe 1ula rashl 1haL's why l mlss lndla so desperaLely when l Lravel l mlss Lhe splrlL of
lnqulry LhaL makes us Lhe world's mosL lnqulslLlve people no wonder we love Lhe 81l so much