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MFO 51 Toilet Paper E-4 MAFIA

21 AUGUST 2008 VOLUME 1, ISSUE 7 -1/2

Extra Special “BUCKEYE” Pre-RIP Edition

MFO 52
“Off To Fort Lewis” Primer!! For excitement we suggest renting
a van from the Main Post rental com-
Here you go!! Off on a fantastic voy- pany (253-964-1331) and heading
age to MFO 52. We anxiously await south to Cabelas Sporting Goods, or
your arrival in the desert, but we real- any number of stores near the mall
ize that you have a lot of training and Wall-Mart. You could also spend Ohio Buckeye Visits Herb’s Beach!
ahead, and the last thing we want to time in Tacoma at the great bars and
do is scare the heck out of you. This clubs. Seattle will take at least a day (Herb, SPC Scribner, Brutus)
really is the premier deployment in to see, but you should be able to hit
the US Army right now!! Compared the Needle, the Fish market, and a
with the stress and obvious risks of a nice dinner out on a day off.
combat mission, a few paper cuts and Local eateries include the fast food
some sunscreen issues is all you will if you can get off base. On base there
face here. is a pizza place that delivers (253-581
Everything you ever needed to -5262), Papa Johns (253-984-7272),
know about Fort Lewis is right here. Godfathers (253-964-2267), or a Chi-
Know ahead of time that the Fort nese place (?) that will have menus at
Lewis you will come to know and the barracks. The “Gut” truck sucks
love is not the main base. North Base and is way overpriced, but who can
is where the training and transition put a price on coffee in a blizzard?
soldiers are kept. You will use all the Finally, there is a cab for getting
regular ranges and might actually get around at (253-582-3000)
to the PX on main base occasionally, One thing to bring that is essential
but for the quarters, we were put in is printers, ink, and paper (have them
dilapidated old buildings with Korean shipped) because SRP is always need-
War accommodations. There is an ing the extra document or something
ROTC PX a block away that has good stupid. Other items to have are plenty
sandwiches for lunch and most of the of extension cords and power strips,
basics. There is also an indispensable extra towels, cameras, and extra bed- Newsletter Policies for Submission:
coffee shop, a great gym, a mini-mart ding and blankets. Most should be All material is to be submitted to the publisher no
gas station and a BK. For internet, shipped to you and shipped home later than 24 hours before printing. This medium
there is some WIFI around, and some before you leave for the desert. Per- was designed for fun only. Any descriptions of
of the offices can get a local hookup. sonal FRS radios are helpful too. events or news presented is fake and does not re-
We took the local and ran CAT-5 Each platoon and squad should
flect the views or orders of the official people run-
everywhere we could to set up net- immediately identify anyone with IT
ning our camp. Any similarity to actual events and
works for ourselves. Some of us had experience and guard them with great
air-cards too. If you are really at a care. Also identify good cooks early, people is purely coincidental and shall not be inter-
loss, there is also a Logistics Center this is a key to happy OP’s. Electri- preted as truth. We accept submissions for content
near the barracks with copier, some cians, Plumbers, and Carpenters are from anyone on camp, preferably E-4 or below.
desk-tops, and WIFI too. Start col- also handy to have around. Submissions are accepted on a first come-first
lecting online movies right now, The TMC on North Post, espe- served basis and there is no guarantee of publica-
bandwidth for downloading is pitiful. cially sick-call, sucks!! Long lines tion. All submissions become the sole property of
Every barracks has laundry ma- and too “Military”! Madigan is really the editorial staff. 2008 NOTE: There was some
chines in the ancient bathrooms. Get nice and professional though if you difficulty with the previous MSN Email. Please
used to bay living and a couple of do get hurt, so do not worry.
resend all articles for submission to the new email
private rooms for Officers and senior Finally, each squad or platoon
address. They will make the next issue. This news
NCO’s. The chow is pretty good and should invest in a small router to play
filling. There is a lot of it too. Very games together on to pass the time. medium accepts submissions from
nice people working there, but rather Worst case is pitching in for a com-
strict hours. munity XBOX and a video projector!! ALL RANKS and ALL TROOPS!!

All submissions can be made to mfotoiletpaper@gmail.com


21 AUGUST 2008 MFO TOILET PAPER VOLUME 1, ISSUE 7-1/2

MFO Precepts
“ARMY Training Sir”
You will hear it here first. There have been no Your command may
The training for Driving, creepy crawlies around have a copy of the MFO
UXO, and wildlife can be here yet., although some Precepts. This is a list of
taken with a grain of salt. of the snakes have been tasks that are specifically
I am sure your advanced spotted. (Only about 3-4) MFO Related. You will
party will drill into your The last thing I would earn your “Death-by-
Barracks are “AAA” Rated head how tough it is out do is undermine the train- PowerPoint” Combat
here. It is tough, no ing, but if you use some Badge at Fort Lewis.
Top SIX Items to Bring To Yakima: doubt, but in the time I common sense, do not let You will be treated to
6. Cup O’ Noodles (Any Kind) have been here the most them scare you about the days of agonizing learn-
dangerous creature I have exams. Most of the train- ing via computer presen-
5. EXTRA Pairs of Poly Pro seen is an angry camel ing centers on the SOP. tation. All of this will
and any WARM Layers!! walking past me on Mt Be familiar with it early, take place in a gym
Sinai. but all Sinai specific room, or if you are
4. Extra Batteries The NZTAT guys here changes to plans will hap- lucky, in a series of tents
3. Hair Clippers train all the OP Com- pen here. Make the best during a massive thun-
manders, all the drivers, of training, but don’t put derstorm. This is excep-
2. Creamer and Hot Chocolate and all the safety training anything in stone until tionally fun while you try
1. Portable Coffee Maker!! that is the background of you actually get here to to stay awake with a
the mission. Pay special try it. The actual proto- heater blowing air across
attention to the ID book- cols and procedures here your face during the
lets and some of the are pretty flexible, and if classes. We were there
equipment you will be you let a young, aggres- in the winter and the
observing here. You will sive officer get a hold of tents were kept a balmy
probably go weeks with- the reigns, you will hate 85 degrees when they
out any sightings, but yourself in the morning. were able. It was nice
actually getting one re- From the start, let your that they tried to accli-
quires a certain level of squad leaders lead!!! mate us early.
familiarity with all the NCO’s RUN THIS The Precepts include
You Will Love Combatives vehicles in the books. MISSION!!! lots of basic classes!!

What Happens In Yakima, Stays There

Yakima is a desert in the moun- You will RIP each site and have a
tains. If you think you have shortened rotation schedule like the
been in remote places, you have one here. There is no internet so a
not been here. Good Lord are PC Card is a must for your squad/
you out in the middle of no- platoon. GPS is awesome, without
where. You will be there in a it you will need to identify your
warmer part of the year., so best infantry grunt for map reading
count your blessings!! and compass work. Most of the
Chow is hideous, but filling training is in vehicles, and the
and warm. If you can, set up a OC’s are pretty cool. If you
liaison with a junior trooper to thought the Ft Lewis Barracks
pick up soup and coffee for your were rough, you are now out of the
“mock” ECP point. Make that Hilton and into the KOA Camp-
soldier in charge of gopher runs ground!! Bring extra blankets and
for radios, batteries, chow, px layers of clothes to keep warm at
crud, and especially fuel for the night. There is a crappy little mini
heaters at night. Try to get that PX, but again, decent sandwiches.
person a vehicle. This is where When all else fails, there is a Wall-
you will see what an ECP/Guard Mart about 2 exits further on the
shift schedule feels like. You highway, and there is some food
will also run mock sites for both delivery there too. Scrounge for
Northern and Southern Sectors. menu’s and have a ball.

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21 AUGUST 2008 MFO TOILET PAPER VOLUME 1, ISSUE 7-1/2

OTHER STUFF TO
The Sinai And You!! BE AWARE OF:

     You just survived a 23‐hour flight to Egypt, you are tired, and the last  YOU WILL GET A TON OF


GEAR AND MOLLY GEAR
thing you want to do is stand up right now.  Get ready for the WELCOME 
ISSUED TO YOU AT FT
TO THE MFO BRIEFING!!  You will be huddled into the gym where,  LEWIS. WAIT UNTIL
through half‐closed eyes, you are welcomed to the “Greatest Peace Keep‐ YOUR ISSUE IS DONE BE-
FORE BECOMING A PX
ing Mission on Earth”.  The illustrious HERB BRAV will greet you , as he  RANGER WITH ALL YOUR
has done for every MFO mission since it’s inception.  You will be told that  GEAR. The following is a
brief packing list for Egypt:
Believing and Liking are the keys to happiness in the Sinai.  You will be 
given the safety briefing and then escorted to your new homes.  As you  RUCK/VEST WITH MOLLY
exit, you will don the headgear of champions here on this mission, the  GEAR/HELMET/D-RING/
CLEANING KIT/GERBER/
coveted Sinai Stetson!!  When this is finally over, you might eat, and then  FLASHLIGHT/SM KNIFE/
you will lay down and not believe it is real.  MAGAZINES/ EAR PRO/
     You awake to a glorious sunrise over Tiran Island.  You will look out  EYE PRO/ CIV PASSPORT/
3 SETS OF PATCHES MIN
over the beach front property you now inhabit, and put on sunglasses to  WATER PROOF WATCH
keep the sunlight that is reflected from the water of the Gulf of Aquaba  2-3 SUBDUED FLAGS
2-3 SUNGLASSES
from searing your cornea.  You will begin the day as an MFO soldier.    Rechargeable Batteries
     You will find the MDF (mess hall) pretty good for a couple weeks.  After  SHAVING KIT
that you will loath it and want to go to the Hard Rock or Camel Bar in  SM SEWING KIT
2-3 BOOTS (HW)
Naama Bay (Out the gate, hang a right).  You will find some stuff at the FX,  4-5 SETS ACU’S
but the electronics and some items are way overpriced.  The booze is  14 DAYS OF UNDERWEAR
14 DAYS OF SOCKS
cheap!!   Cigarettes and  Chew are limited.  Only a couple brands, and no 
14 DAYS OF T-SHIRTS
menthol at times.  Skoal and Copenhagen Snuff  are the only chews.   CHEM GEAR (NEVER USE)
There are some other items too, but  you would do better to quit with the  2-3 TOWELS
1 PR JEANS
cessation program.  The FX rarely has body wash and men’s deodorant ei‐ 1 PR KAHKI PANTS
ther.  Most of the others things you might need are there.    2 PR SHORTS
2 GOLF SHIRTS
     You will want to get a “Pay as you Go” cell phone immediately.  You can 
1 LONG SLEEVE SHIRT
get recharge cards at the FX and the Fire Station.  $20 US will get you $100  3 SUMMER PT UNIFORMS
L.E. (Egyptian Pounds) worth of calls.  That lasts about 20 minutes to the  2 PR RUNNING SHOES
1 PR SHOWER SHOES
States.  Incoming calls are free though, so have your family get a cheap  1 PR SANDALS
Egyptian calling plan.  The TOC’s have phones too.  They are about 5‐cents  SWIM GOGGLES
a minute to the US.  There is also a DNS phone booth here and a US Post  1 PR CASUAL SHOES
1 SWIM SUIT
Office.  Mail takes about 1‐2 weeks, tops.    2-3 CIVILIAN T-SHIRTS
     There is internet in each room and cable  is available at each TOC.  The  EXTRA CHECKS
EXTRA ATM CARD
problem is that both systems are from ROME.  The systems are slow and  LAPTOP IS A MUST!!!!
drop out once in a while.  Not a horrible situation, but doing schoolwork  1 SOFT CAP
can be frustrating.  There are also occasional power outages, so make sure  1 BOONIE CAP
1 PONCHO LINER
you have a surge protector for electrical items.  Everything here is 220v so  1 CIVILIAN BACKPACK
you will be able to get converters when you hit ground.  Be prepared for a  1 COMBAT SLING
1 CIVILIAN HAT
mad rush to buy all the used converters, bikes, cell phones, internet cards, 
and speaker systems for your rooms.  We will be in a mad rush to leave as  SEND EVERYTHING ELSE
you get here because of the troop strength allowances.  We might   HOME BEFORE FLIGHT!!

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21 AUGUST 2008 MFO TOILET PAPER VOLUME 1, ISSUE 7-1/2

You Must Have It Sent


The Sinai And You!! (continued) From Home!!
just leave you a bunch of stuff like MFO 50 did for us.  Scurry to your 
DO NOT FORGET THESE:
rooms before your roommate and you just might get all the loot!! 
     I cannot emphasize the next topic enough!!  If you do not have a strong,  EXTRA PR SUNGLASSES
LAPTOP (MUST HAVE IT)
people‐oriented, get‐err‐done kind of person in the MWR office you are 
PORTABLE DVD PLAYER
screwing yourself.  That person should immediately plan the Duty Tours,  PSP/MP3/IPOD
get contacts at the local dive shops, contact the local golf course, start a  CAMERAS/VIDEO CAMS
=====================
newsletter, book some cool acts at the O’Duece “Outdoor” Theatre, and   A brief list of items you will
plan some activities at the on‐post bars.  This person could also do your  need to have sent from home
education benefits job, and then he would be elevated to GOD status here.  include:
50 SPF SUNSCREEN
All troop commands should  plan activities for MWR /Training Cycles to  BABY WIPES
help the soldiers relax.  We know training is fun and good for you, but  MEN’S BODY WASH
DEODORANT
every other contingent is having a blast here, there is no reason why you  110 V ELECTRONICS
could not too!!  COMPUTER PARTS
     The Support Battalion will provide helicopter support, medical sup‐ EXTRA HARD DRIVES
REAL COFFEE
port, a veterinarian for the dogs at QRF and the OP’s, Postal, Finance, and  REAL SYRUP
other background help.  Be wary, the finance office here is only a check  REAL BAGELS
SMALL TV ANTENNEA
casher, when they are open (not much).  There is only one cash machine  PRINTERS AND TONER
on post and they will give you L.E. if you are not careful.  It takes a couple  SCUBA GEAR
buttons extra to get US Currency.  There are also surcharges here and  SOFTBALL GLOVES
ROLLER BLADES
from many banks at home.  The same is true for cash machines in town.   KY JELLY
HNSI is a British firm who handles a lot of the maintenance, logistics, and  SINGLE SHEETS/Blankets
======================
construction here.  They are good people and can help with all kinds of 
A brief list of items to get
stuff like lost keys, extra shelves in your room, and buying you a round at  right away when here are:
the Hungarian Club (See Night Life). 
VODOPHONE Cell phone
     The library is small and a killer on fines.  Not a bad movie collection,  (Offers Free Minutes Bonus)
but do not keep things overdue.  The Ed Center has a computer room that  MOBINIL Cell phone
(Competitor—Better Service
is adequate.  Some lucky HQ REMF might even get to work there part 
in some places)
time.  The Ed Center is also has a cool course for a free iPod, and the stan‐ INTERNET CARD - Higher
dard CTC and Univ of MD reps.  You can try classes, but without an inter‐ Speed and better reliability,
but more money and monthly.
net card, you might get frustrated. 
     Finally,  make your stay more comfortable by not bringing a ton of junk  AC CONVERTERS
from home.  You will amass a giant room full of crap from the local ven‐ SPEAKERS FOR ROOMS
DESK LAMPS FROM S4
dors anyway, try out the packing list I have included.  Also check out the  A USED BIKE BEFORE
top ten list of items to get sent from home.  You will hate ECP and Guard  THEY ARE GONE!!
======================
duty and will pray to get sent to OP’s.  Some of you might be at North  The Humvee Guy here is Paul
Camp for ERT and, run well, will like it!  The OP’s are the best duty here.   “BAM BAM” Ross. He has
If the squad leaders are allowed to lead then the training is great too.   an alternate internet provider
for laptop cards. He also sells
Most of the time it is quiet and feels like Groundhog Day, but if you keep  laptops, gear, and some lim-
yourself busy, say continuing the MFO Toilet Paper, and have fun, this is a  ited phone service. He also
can help you with satellite TV
great place to work.   Train Hard, Be Safe, Good Luck and Godspeed!! 
for your rooms.

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21 AUGUST 2008 MFO TOILET PAPER VOLUME 1, ISSUE 7-1/2

Final Thoughts
Letting Your Hair Down!! For The Trip

     OK, you just got a high and tight, I get it!!  I am talking about fun in the  Whew!! I am worn out


just thinking about all
sun.  Out the gate, hang a left, and you are headed to downtown OLD Sharm.  
the information we did
You will be greeted by the sight of trash everywhere.  This is a dirty place to  not get!! Some of the
visit,  and the first taxi ride you take will make you feel like a gambling man.   things I forgot to men-
tion are as follows:
You will weave in and out of traffic so fast that you might throw up.  When you  Everyone should sign up
make it to Old Sharm you will see a large, open‐air marketplace.  This is the  for a Yahoo/Skype/ AIM/
Messenger account.
place to haggle for all kinds of stuff.  Always go with a buddy though!!  There 
These are the best ways
are also a couple beach clubs.  They offer  amenities like seats, half‐naked Euro‐ to stay in touch with
peans, some alcoholic drinks, and decent food.  Terrazina is on the top of the  family and friends. As
long as people in your
list.  There are glass bottom boats, snorkeling tours, scuba tours, and other  barracks are not hogging
things to do.  You could also do some food shopping at the Metro market, a  the bandwidth
very small grocery.  There are also some local liquor stores for wines and  downloading porn, you
should be able to talk
things.  Il Mercator mall is in nearby Hadabah.  That is where a a real Vodo‐ and see your families
phone store is located.  Hadabah also has a great bar, Pops Tavern where all the  with a little lag and not
much trouble. I am in-
local divers hang out, and an excellent Aqua Park fun park.  Finally there is a  cluding some pics from
Radio Shack there, and some decent restaurants.  Coral Bay diving and resorts  our adventures on the
are also to the left.  last pages. I am up to
67GB of pics on my hard
     Out the gate and to the right is Naama Bay.  This is the touristy attraction  drive, and I still have a
area.  You will be hounded by shopkeepers trying to stay in business, and the  couple months to go.
I have tried my best to
haggling sucks here.  This is the place where the infamous Camel Bar is.  The 
keep a positive spin on
Camel Bar rocks on a Thursday night.  Be warned, in this culture the weekend  all the information. Like
starts on a Thursday and ends Saturday night.  You will never figure this out, or  I have mentioned before,
this is not paradise, but
get used to it.  All of the services on  SC close on Fridays and Thursday night is  if you are here, you are
the party night here at all the bars.  Naama Bay also sports a Tavern Club Eng‐ not in combat, but make
no mistake, there are
lish pub, the Hard Rock Café, a TGI Fridays, and a couple great Chinese places 
some dangers here.
including Little Buddha, and my favorite, the Peking House.  (Try the BBQ Sea‐ Your Battallion Staff will
food and Veggie Fried Rice)  There are also a few casinos here, and just past the  keep you informed of
any threat level changes.
Naama Bay city limits is the JolieVille/Maratim Golf Club.  See Dominik there  You will have days that
for a great price on golf, clubs, and a cart.  They have about 30 sets of loaner  seem to never end. The
clubs, and it is the only place around with a lot of real grass, fairways, and some  best medicine for that is
a good attitude. I started
really nice golf!!   Bye the way, I am slightly addicted to it if you have not no‐ the MFO Toilet Paper to
ticed.  keep people laughing. I
try to find up to date
     There are trips to Cairo, Luxor, Mount Sinai, and Israel.  Do not miss your  topics and funny ideas,
chance to hike up the Steps of Repentance at Mt Sinai.  You will also love seeing  and while I rib on mem-
the Pyramids at Giza and the temple complex at Luxor (Ancient Thebes).  Fi‐ bers of our deployment, I
will not intentionally
nally, nothing beats the Holy Land Tour of  Israel.  Take the Chaplain and you  throw someone under
can get baptized in the River Jordan.  The best trips are out of North Camp and  the bus. Keep it light
and stay focused and you
you might even get to take a Med Cruise with some leave.  
will bring everyone home
     Locally there are go‐carts, golf, scuba, dining, shopping, gambling, and on  safely!! Have fun, and
base there are an O Club, a sports bar, The Hungarian Club, and other bars. do not be too serious!!

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21 AUGUST 2008 MFO TOILET PAPER VOLUME 1, ISSUE 7-1/2

Important
Leader’s Page: Advice and Knowledge from AARs Addresses
The leader recon and your is the mission first!! Manning should designate someone to
briefings will prepare you for the sites, getting the logpak be an MWR person. Set up Fort Lewis:
some of the tasks you will rolling for FX, laundry, water, bbq’s and other events.
face. As a squad leader, you trash, and any other items is Another “paperwork” geek Rank and Name
should be prepared to be key to happy soldiers and should be in your office.
Unit Name
thrust into your work right minimal ass-chewings. Make You will kill a lot of trees
away. You will hit the sure the logistics and food here. Lots of convoy re- C/O 1st JMB
ground as we are leaving, so orders are in on time, and quests, and rosters of train- Bldg R9656, MS120
left-seat/right-seat is not an make sure you have a strong ing. This person should also Box 339546
option. Your baptism of fire NCO in charge of food. Al- be in charge of Water Sur- Fort Lewis, WA 98433
begins as soon as you wake ways keep a few extra items vival Training. Don’t take
up on day 1. You will proba- laid away for a site that needs this too seriously, even
bly be sent to the Site Com- extra butter, a few loaves of though others will. (Will change depending
manders Course. When you bread, or some extra veggies. Before too long, you will on the building your
are not there you will be Have the sites over order for know everyone here and the TOC is in on North
driver training, setting up the food. The budget never office they work in. Network Base.)
logpak runs, getting your really changes, but the foods to get the most out of the
Mail Takes 6-7 days
people to and fro on ECP and on the list are not always people here. Locals can get
Guard Duty, or just running available. If a site orders shelves built, clean rooms
around like a chicken without something that is not there, and latrines, and general la- =================
a head. Be prepared to help sub something that is within bor for a price. You will MFO:
your men adapt to life here the budget. Easy to say, but have laundry done free, but a
by getting them on a PT hard to make happen. As in couple bucks gets it tomor-
Name
schedule, but do not kill them all Army missions, safety is row. This is the way it works
with it. Identify PT and Ht/ always paramount. Make sure here. Anything for a couple Unit Name
Wt issues right away and that all safety precautions are L.E. Finally, don’t let know Unit 31530, MFO 52
help them with a program. adhered to, I am sure I don’t it all LT’s try to run the APO, AE 09833
Be positive in your approach really have to mention it, but show, and you will do just
about all the training here. you will hear it constantly fine. Remember, every day
Mail takes 1-2 weeks
Remember, the key here here. The Company element is “Groundhog” Day here!!!

Wanna Avoid Being Fragged? BULLET COMMENTS FROM NCO’s:


1. Identify Spanish Speakers to alleviate
.”Try not to take more leave than “If you are a true leader, trust your some issues with TREU and COLBATT.
your men” soldiers to do the right thing and
they will” 2. Imodium, Pepto-Bismol, Ibuprofen, Ty-
“Make sure the weapon is clear lenol, Aspirin, Excedrin, and No-Doze
before handing it to the armorer” “Buy the first round”
are should be in all CLS Bags.
“Wreck the fewest vehicles in the “Buy another round just in case” 3. Always remember that this is an
Battalion”
“Practice your beer pong now, at EGYPTIAN BASE. The FX and other
“Trust your lowliest private, if he home, in your spare time” post services are foreign.
does well you are the hero, and if
he screws up, he was still in the “Keep accurate records and try to 4. Laundry: $2-$3 gets same day/next day
learning phase anyway” remember...You are not the one 5. Weekend is Thurs Night to Sat. Night.
pulling multiple hour guard shift”
“This is a desert, try not to get 6. Order Lots of Crystal Light Individual
burned” “Everyone can play Counterstrike, Flavor Packets. Just Water Sucks!!
on any laptop, even a slow-ass
“Don’t take water safety too seri- Pentium III” 7. Have Syrup sent over immediately!!
ously, laugh and the world laughs 8. Local Cabs here are as follows: 10-20 LE
with you” “When soldiers are on MWR, re-
member, they need a break from to Naama Bay, 20-30 LE to Old Sharm,
“TRUST YOUR NCO’s!!” everything! Leave em alone a bit” and 30-40 LE to airport or golf, No More!

All submissions can be made to mfotoiletpaper@gmail.com


21 AUGUST 2008 MFO TOILET PAPER VOLUME 1, ISSUE 7-1/2

A Glimpse Of What To Expect While On Mission!!

All submissions can be made to mfotoiletpaper@gmail.com


21 AUGUST 2008 MFO TOILET PAPER VOLUME 1, ISSUE 7-1/2

A Glimpse Of What To Expect While On Mission!!

All submissions can be made to mfotoiletpaper@gmail.com

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