THE PURITY PROJECT OF OKLAHOMA CITY PRESENTS

Coming Clean

Mentoring and Recovery series, Workbook 4

By David Lowry, Ph. D.

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Coming Clean is the fourth in a series of nine study manuals designed to assist those enrolled in faith-based recovery programs. These lessons were produced for The Purity Project by Dr. David N. Lowry.

Copyright 2009 David Lowry. All rights reserved.

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Other Workbooks in this series:

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.

Admitting Need Getting Help Letting Go Coming Clean Making Changes New Attitudes Repairing Relationships Maintaining Momentum Recycling Pain

The Purity Project of Oklahoma Cityhttp://www.purityprojectokc.com

Table of Contents
Table of Contents Introduction To Book 4 Celebrate Recovery's 8 Principles The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous Lesson 31 Examining Our Relationships Step Four ii vii ix viii 40 41 iii viii ix x 1 1

Step Reflection Scriptures Romans 12:18 (New International Version) Proverbs 16:7 (New International Version) Scripture Reflections Recovery Wisdom The Spiritual Inventory Part 1 Recovery Reading Lesson 32 Confess My Faults Step Four Step Reflection Scriptures James 5:16 (New International Version) Proverbs 28:13 (New International Version) Scripture Reflections: Recovery Wisdom The Spiritual Inventory Part 2 Recovery Reading Lesson 33 Confessing to God Step Four Step Reflection

2 3 3 3 3 4 4 4 5 5 6 7 7 7 7 8 8 8 9 9 10

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Scriptures 1 John 1:9 (New International Version) Psalm 32:5 (New International Version) Scripture Reflections: Recovery Wisdom The Spiritual Inventory Part 3 Recovery Reading Lesson 34 Self-Confession Step Four Step REFLECTION Scriptures Luke 15:11-19 (Amplified Bible) Scripture Reflections Recovery Wisdom The Spiritual Inventory Part 4 Recovery Reading Lesson 35 Confess and Be healed Step Four Step REFLECTION Scriptures Matthew 3:5-6 (New International Version)

11 11 11 11 12 12 12 13 13 14 15 15 15 17 17 17 18 18 19 20 20

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Acts 19:17-18 (New International Version) Ezra 10:11 (New International Version) Scripture Reflections Recovery Wisdom The Spiritual Inventory Part 5 Recovery Reading Lesson 36 Whom Do I Trust? Step Four Step Reflection Scriptures Luke 18:10-14 (New International Version) Jonah 3:3-10 (New International Version) Scripture Reflections Recovery Wisdom The Spiritual Inventory Part 6 Recovery Reading Lesson 37 Searching and Fearless Step Four Step Reflection Scriptures Matthew 7:7 (New International Version)

20 20 20 21 21 21 22 22 23 24 24 24 24 25 25 25 26 26 27 28 28

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Lamentations 3:40 Scripture Reflections Recovery Wisdom The Spiritual Inventory Part 7 Recovery Reading Lesson 38 The Moral Inventory Step Four Step Reflection Scriptures 1 Samuel 15:17-22 (New International Version) Scripture Reflections Recovery Wisdom The Spiritual Inventory Part 8 Recovery Reading Lesson 39 Forgiving Ourselves Step Four Step Reflection Scriptures Psalm 32:1 (New International Version) Titus 3:5 (New International Version) Scripture Reflections

28 28 29 29 29 30 30 31 32 32 32 33 33 33 34 34 35 36 36 36 36

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Recovery Wisdom The Spiritual Inventory Part 9 Recovery Reading Lesson 40 Taking the Fourth Step Four Step Reflection Scriptures 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (New International Version) Galatians 6:1 (New International Version) Scripture Reflections Recovery Wisdom The Spiritual Inventory Part 10 Recovery Reading APPENDIXES APPENDIX 1: Prayers of Confession APPENDIX 2: Inventory Charts APPENDIX 3: Selected Scriptures for STEP 4 APPENDIX 4: The Spiritual Inventory Part 1, My Relationship With Others Part 2, My Priorities in Life Part 3, My Attitudes

37 37 37 38 38 39 40 40 40 40 41 41 41 42 43 44 47 51 51 52 53

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Part 4, My Integrity Part 5, My Mind Part 6, My Body Part 7, My Family Part 8, My Church Part 9, My Fears, Resentments And Harms Part 10, My Sexual Conduct

54 55 56 57 58 59 60

Introduction To Book 4
A man with leprosy came to Jesus and knelt down. He begged, "You have the power to make me well, if only you wanted to." Jesus felt sorry for the man. So he put his hand on him and said, "I want to! Now you are well." At once the man's leprosy disappeared, and he was well. Mark 1:40-45 (Contemporary English Version)

Marks story about Jesus healing the leper never fails to stir my heart. For those of us with compulsions and addictions, we understand how the leper felt! We have carried our infirmities for so long that weve decided that nothing more could ever be done about it. We felt as outcasts. Then, we met Jesus and realized; He can heal me if He wants to. What good news it is to learn that Jesus wants to heal us! This fourth series of lessons entitled, Coming Clean, is about taking the first steps of approaching Christ so that we, like the leper, may learn that wants to heal us. In earlier lessons we learned that we are powerless to heal ourselves. Next, we learned that God is the higher power that can heal us of all things. In STEP 3 we invited that
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power into our lives. Now, in STEP 4, we are ready to take those first steps that actually tap into the power of the resurrection so that our lives, which have been dead for so long, may come alive. We invite you to experience for yourself the healing power that can take place when we fearlessly examine every corner of our lives and confess our faults to God, ourselves, and another person.

Celebrate Recovery's 8 Principles

R = REALIZE I'm not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable. "Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor." E = EARNESTLY believe that God exists, that I matter to him, and that He has the power to help me recover. "Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." C = Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christs care and control. "Happy are the meek." O = OPENLY examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to another person whom I trust. "Happy are the pure in heart." V = VOLUNTARILY submit to any and all changes God wants to make in my life and humbly ask him to remove my character defects.

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"Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires." E = EVALUATE all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I've done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others. "Happy are the merciful." "Happy are the peacemakers." R = RESERVE a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will. Y = YIELD myself to God to be used to bring this Good News to others, both by my example and by my words. "Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires."

The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable Step 2 - Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God. Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves Step 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
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Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character Step 7 - Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it Step 11 Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out Step 12 Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs

Lesson 31

Examining Our Relationships

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In a recent Hagar the Horrible comic strip, Hagars young son asks, Why cant we all just get along? Hagar, in his wisdom replies, Its very simple my son, sometimes people annoy other people! Relationships are the foundation of life; and, when our relationships arent working as they should, our lives suffer. As we begin the journey of step four, it is important to we look at the quality of our relationships. In the Garden of Eden, God said that it was not good for man to live alone. God intends for us to live in healthy happy relationships. Step Four Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to another person whom I trust. (CELEBRATE RECOVERY: STEP 4) Matthew 5:8 Happy are the pure in heart. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (STEP 4 of the 12 Steps) Lamentations 3:40 Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.

Step Reflection The first words of STEP 4 say, Openly Examine.

1. 2.

What two relationships in your life do you think need the most repairs? Answering as honestly as you can, List the things have you done, or not done, that may have harmed these relationships. In other words, what is your part in all of this?

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Scriptures
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Romans 12:18 (New International Version)

18

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Proverbs 16:7 (New International Version)

7

When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.

________________________________________ Scripture Reflections Write your answers in the Space below.

1. 2.

How do these scriptures apply to your present relationships? Is there anything that you could or should be doing in order to properly follow these scriptures?

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Recovery Wisdom Nobody can hurt me without my permission. Mahatma Gandhi ________________________________________ What does this saying mean to you? Give an example of how it works in your life.

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The Spiritual Inventory Part 1

go to Appendix 4 and Complete Section 1. Feel free to work ahead if time permits.

Recovery Reading Lifes Healing Choices; Read p. 101 - 114 In the space below, Write three insights you received from todays readings.
1. 2. Write the page number and quote Then explain the insight you received.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Lesson 32

Confess My Faults
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There is a saying in recovery circles that goes like this, You are as sick as your secrets. When we begin the journey of step four, we make a commitment to examine our lives and confess our faults to ourselves, God and another person. This is not done to humiliate us but to heal us. C.S. Lewis says, Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one! When we confess our shortcomings to another person, we begin changing those unsuccessful patterns of trying to solve all of our problems by ourselves. Instead, we learn the importance of leaning upon others for the support we need to make our lives better. Step Four Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to another person whom I trust. (CELEBRATE RECOVERY: STEP 4) Matthew 5:8 Happy are the pure in heart. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (STEP 4 of the 12 Steps) Lamentations 3:40 Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.

Step Reflection STEP 4 states that we, Openly examine and confess.
1.

List five positive things that happen, or you believe would happen, each time you follow step four and confess your faults to another person.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

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Scriptures James 5:16 (New International Version) Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
16

Proverbs 28:13 (New International Version)

13

He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

________________________________________ Scripture Reflections: What do these scriptures teach about the importance of confessing our faults? Describe how you might go about confessing Faults? List three people you might go to. 2. Describe what would you might say and do?
1.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Recovery Wisdom It is the confession, not the priest that gives us absolution. Oscar Wilde ________________________________________ What does this saying mean to you? Give an example of how it works in your life.

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The Spiritual Inventory Part 2

go to Appendix 4 and Complete part 2. Feel free to work ahead if time permits.

Recovery Reading Lifes Healing Choices; p. 115 - 117 Write three insights you received from todays readings.
1. 2.

Write the page number and quote, Then explain the insight you received.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Lesson 33

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Confessing to God
If you are like most people you may wonder, If God knows everything, why does he need me to confess my faults to him? God doesnt need you to confess anything. Confession isnt about telling God something he doesnt already know about you, its about you acknowledging and coming into agreement with Him about the things youve been doing with your life. When you confess your faults to God, you show that you want to your life as He does. Confession is our way of telling God that our way of living isnt working out. Confession is not something God needs from us; rather, we confess so that we might make important changes in our lives by learning to see our lives from His perspective. Step Four Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to another person whom I trust. (CELEBRATE RECOVERY: STEP 4) Matthew 5:8 Happy are the pure in heart. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (STEP 4 of the 12 Steps) Lamentations 3:40 Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.

Step Reflection STEP 4 states that we, Openly examine and confess our faults to God. While there are different ways that we may confess our faults before God, one effective method is to write out our confession in the form of a prayer. Once we have finished writing, the prayer is read out loud. It is usually best to focus upon one thing a time.
1. 2.

Take a moment to quiet your mind. Say a silent prayer and ask God to reveal to you three faults that need to be
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confessed. 3. Write your confessions in the form of a short prayer. 4. Once these have been written, Read your prayers out loudknowing that you are doing so before God. Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Scriptures 1 John 1:9 (New International Version) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
9

Psalm 32:5 (New International Version)

5

Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD " and you forgave the guilt of my sin.

________________________________________ Scripture Reflections: 1. What does God promise to do for you if you confess your sins to him? 2. Have you confessed your sins to God? Describe what you did and how you did it? Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

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Recovery Wisdom The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn. Gloria Steinem ________________________________________ What does this saying mean to you? Give an example of how it works in your life.

The Spiritual Inventory Part 3

go to Appendix 4 and Complete part 3. Feel free to work ahead if time permits.

Recovery Reading Life's Healing Choice; Choices; Choice 4; Please read the testimonials on p. 118 - 127 In the space below, Write three insights you received from todays readings.
1. 2.

Write the page number and quote Then explain the insight you received.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

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Lesson 34

Self-Confession
Whether in the world of professional sports or major corporations, there is an expectation on the part of fans and customers alike that management pay close attention to those things that dont work. We like it when our teams win and when things run smoothly. We should want that for our lives as well. We need to take the time to look at our lives and notice the things that arent working like we wish they would. In STEP 4, we learn that self-confession can be a powerful tool to help us live more effective lives. This process isnt meant to be a harsh exercise in putting ourselves down; rather, its taking the time to make note of the things in our lives that arent working so that we might break through the denial that we have been living in and allow God to show us a better way. Step Four Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to another person whom I trust. (CELEBRATE RECOVERY: STEP 4) Matthew 5:8 Happy are the pure in heart. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (STEP 4 of the 12 Steps) Lamentations 3:40 Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.

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Step REFLECTION STEP 4 says that We confess our faults to ourselves. For many lessons now we have been examining things in our life that dont work and turning them over to God. Today we want to take a slightly different approach. There is an old saying, that our strengths can also be our weaknessand vice-versa.
1. 2. 3.

Make a list of what you believe are five of your best personal strengths. Provide a positive description of how this works for you. Provide a brief description of how your strength is also one of your weaknesses.

Example I have a great sense of humor. I have the ability to find something funny in almost any situation. My light heartedness helps reduce stress not only for me, but those about me as well. My sense of humor is also a personal weakness because of my temptation to put others down through satire, sarcasm and cynicism. I have been known to make light of situations that arent funny.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Scriptures Luke 15:11-19 (Amplified Bible)

11

And He said, There was a certain man who had two sons;
12

And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the part of the property that falls [to me]. And he divided the estate between them. And not many days after that, the younger son gathered up all that he had and journeyed into a distant country, and there he wasted his fortune in reckless and loose [from restraint] living.
13

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And when he had spent all he had, a mighty famine came upon that country, and he began to fall behind and be in want.
14

So he went and forced (glued) himself upon one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed hogs.
15

And he would gladly have fed on and filled his belly with the carob pods that the hogs were eating, but [they could not satisfy his hunger and] nobody gave him anything [better].
16

Then when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father have enough food, and [even food] to spare, but I am perishing (dying) here of hunger!
17

I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight.
18

I am no longer worthy to be called your son; [just] make me like one of your hired servants.
19

________________________________________ Scripture Reflections This passage is often called the story of the Prodigal Son. The importance of confession is one of the many lessons it teaches. How many confessions were made by this young man? How might you apply this lesson (concerning confession) to your present situation? 3. How might the principle of Our greatest strength can also be our greatest weakness apply to this story?
1. 2.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

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Recovery Wisdom What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly. Richard Bach ________________________________________ What does this saying mean to you? Give an example of how it works in your life.

The Spiritual Inventory Part 4

go to Appendix 4 and Complete part 4. Feel free to work ahead if time permits.

Recovery Reading A Hunger for Healing; Please read pages 60 66 (through guideline 2) Write three insights you received from todays readings.
1. 2.

Write the page number and quote, Then explain the insight you received.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

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Lesson 35

Confess and Be healed

There is an old saying that Confession is good for the soul. For those of us caught in addictive cycles, weve become experts at hiding our faultsat least to ourselves. Over the years, we begin hiding more and more and we become sicker and sicker. We really are as sick as our secrets. In STEP 4, we learn a new way of living that takes us out of our isolation and secrecy. When we confess our secrets and fears to another, we take off our masks so that we can be known and accepted by others just as we truly are. The discovery that we are not alone goes a long way in relieving our pain and lifting our burden of guilt. Step Four Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to another person whom I trust. (CELEBRATE RECOVERY: STEP 4) Matthew 5:8 Happy are the pure in heart. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (STEP 4 of the 12 Steps) Lamentations 3:40 Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.

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Step REFLECTION We have been spending time in STEP 4 learning about the importance of confessing our faults.
1.

List ten positive benefits that come about as a result of confession our faults

use the BACK OF this page if you need to write more.

Scriptures Matthew 3:5-6 (New International Version)

5 6

People went out to him from Jerusalem and all Judea and the whole region of the Jordan. Confessing their sins, they were baptized by him in the Jordan River.

This scripture indicates that people were confessing their sins before others as an historical practice (here to John the Baptist).

Acts 19:17-18 (New International Version)

18

Many of those who believed now came and openly confessed their evil deeds.

This scripture indicates that many came to orally confess sins and divulge their sinful practices. Oral confession was the practice of the early Church just as it is today.

Ezra 10:11 (New International Version) Now make confession to the LORD, the God of your fathers, and do his will. Separate yourselves from the peoples around you and from your foreign wives."
11

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________________________________________ Scripture Reflections In the scriptures above, we see that confession of faults WAS publically made as a sign that one wished to turn away from their sins.
1.

List three ways today that you might publicly confess your sins.

The scripture in Ezra states that we should separate ourselves from our foreign wives. Foreign wives are symbolic of the sinful practices that we have been a part of.
2.

List five foreign Wives that you wish to turn away from.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Recovery Wisdom If nothing changes, nothing changes. ________________________________________ What does this saying mean to you? Give an example of how it works in your life.

The Spiritual Inventory Part 5

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go to Appendix 4 and Complete part 5. Feel free to work ahead if time permits.

Recovery Reading A Hunger for Healing; Please read pages 66 - 70 Write three insights you received from todays readings.
1. 2.

Write the page number and quote, Then explain the insight you received.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Lesson 36

Whom Do I Trust?
It is true that the Bible commands us to confess our sins before God and each other. However, as with all biblical commands, we must use good judgment about how we go about obeying this command. We can always find a quiet spot to make our confession before God; but a wise person should be very careful before confessing
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their faults publically or to another person. Not just any person will do. Truthfully, most people are not well equipped to handle someones confession of faults. Keep these things in mind. First it is important to have a degree of trust in the person who hears your confession. You should feel this person is not only dedicated to your recovery and Christian walk; but; takes their recovery and walk seriously as well. Secondly, it is wise to avoid making a confession to someone youve hurt because of the possibility of making matters worse between you. Remember, confession is not the same thing as making amendssomething well study more carefully in a later series of lessons. Confession is a part of our moral inventory and is necessary to lay the proper groundwork for later recovery work. Finally, we encourage you, in most cases, to avoid describing specific details of your problem in any public confessions you may undertake. We believe it best not to emotionally strip in public. When in public, make a general confession of wrong doing. When you are with a trusted person, be as candid as the Lord leads you to be. Step Four Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to another person whom I trust. (CELEBRATE RECOVERY: STEP 4) Matthew 5:8 Happy are the pure in heart. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (STEP 4 of the 12 Steps) Lamentations 3:40 Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.

Step Reflection 1. Have you every trusted someone enough in the past to make a confession of faults? Have you done so recently? 2. Make a list of five safe people you believe you could trust to make a confession of faults. 3. Are there people you should avoid making a confession of fault to at this time?
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4.

What is the difference between Confession of Faults and making amends?

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Scriptures Luke 18:10-14 (New International Version)

"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men robbers, evildoers, adulterersor even like this tax collector. 12I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
10

"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
13

"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."
14

Jonah 3:3-10 (New International Version)

Jonah obeyed the word of the LORD and went to Nineveh. Now Nineveh was a very important citya visit required three days. 4 On the first day, Jonah started into the city. He proclaimed: "Forty more days and Nineveh will be overturned." 5 The Ninevites believed God. They declared a fast, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth.
3

When the news reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust. 7 Then he issued a proclamation in Nineveh: "By the decree of the king and his nobles: Do not let any man or beast, herd or flock, taste anything; do not let them eat or drink. 8 But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. 9 Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish."
6

When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction he had threatened.
10

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___________________________ Scripture Reflections 1. According to Luke, What is the confession that justifies us before God and what is the confession that does not justify us? 2. How does the story of Jonah and the Ninevites apply to your present life situation? Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Recovery Wisdom Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. Barack Obama ________________________________________ What does this saying mean to you? Give an example of how it works in your life.

The Spiritual Inventory Part 6

go to Appendix 4 and Complete part 6. Feel free to work ahead if time permits.

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Recovery Reading White Book, p. 105 - 110 Write three insights you received from todays readings.
1. 2.

Write the page number and quote, Then explain the insight you received.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Lesson 37

Searching and Fearless

Many years ago, I moved into a very nice home after living for five years in a fixer-upper. I became so tired of doing home repairs that I decided to find a home that didnt need anything more to be done to it. The first few years went well enough. No repairs were needed. But before I knew it, the house began needing a few small repairs here and there. Because they were small repairs, I put them off. As you can imagine, it wasnt long before I had any number of repairs that needed to be done; and, because they had mounted up, they were costly! Unfortunately, I didnt have the money to fix everything at once. This same thing can happen in our physical, spiritual and emotional lives. The moral and spiritual inventory helps us search out every corner of our lives that isnt working as it should and encourages us to be fearless about learning the reasons why. Later, well learn the value of keeping short
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accounts by addressing the small things as they come along, rather than ignoring them until they become large things. Step Four Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to another person whom I trust. (CELEBRATE RECOVERY: STEP 4) Matthew 5:8 Happy are the pure in heart. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (STEP 4 of the 12 Steps) Lamentations 3:40 Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.

Step Reflection STEP 4 speaks of, A searching moral inventory. Over the past few lessons, weve been examining various parts of our lives.
1. 2.

List five benefits of the Life examination process youve experienced so far. How can the moral inventory help you be more successful with your recovery?

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Scriptures Matthew 7:7 (New International Version)

7"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

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Lamentations 3:40
Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.

________________________________________ Scripture Reflections 1. How does the scripture in Matthew 7:7 relate to STEP 4? 2. What do you think the Lord expects of you as you examine and test your ways? Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Recovery Wisdom They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. Andy Warhol ________________________________________ What does this saying mean to you? Give an example of how it works in your life.

The Spiritual Inventory Part 7

go to Appendix 4 and Complete Part 7. Feel free to work ahead if time permits. ii vii ix viii 40 41

Recovery Reading The Steps We Took; p. 57 - 60 Write two insights you received from todays readings.
1. 2.

Write the page number and quote, Then explain the insight you received.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Lesson 38

The Moral Inventory

One of the things that every successful storeowner does is maintain an up-todate inventory. Winning business people understand that its important to keep track of those products that dont sell well, remove them from the inventory and replace them with more desirable products. This is similar to what weve been trying to do over the past several lessons with our spiritual and moral inventory. We want to get rid of old beliefs, ideas, fears and resentments that dont work and let God replace
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them with new beliefs and values. As you do these exercises, ask God to reveal to you the things that arent working for you and to show you a better way. Step Four Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to another person whom I trust. (CELEBRATE RECOVERY: STEP 4) Matthew 5:8 Happy are the pure in heart. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (STEP 4 of the 12 Steps) Lamentations 3:40 Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.

Step Reflection As we go about the moral inventory, we will find the temptation to rationalize our thoughts, beliefs and behaviors rather than practice radical honesty. Rationalization is the process of making excuses for something we do that isnt working for us. For instance, if we have a problem with anger, we may talk about the things that others have done to us that made us angry; or, we may resort to the old clich, Even Jesus got angry! Radical Honesty, on the other hand, is the willingness to brutally admit our faults without resorting to excuse making. In the illustration mentioned earlier, radical honesty would be our ability to admit that rationalization doesnt help us and to admit the fact that our anger isnt serving us well.
1. 2. 3.

List five things that you are tempted to rationalize or make excuses over. For each of those five things, be radically honest and write what is true. How does your excuse making keep you in denial?

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

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Scriptures 1 Samuel 15:17-22 (New International Version) 17 Samuel said, "Although you were once small in your own eyes, did you not become the head of the tribes of Israel? The LORD anointed you king over Israel. 18 And he sent you on a mission, saying, 'Go and completely destroy those wicked people, the Amalekites; make war on them until you have wiped them out.' 19 Why did you not obey the LORD ? Why did you pounce on the plunder and do evil in the eyes of the LORD ?" 20 "But I did obey the LORD," Saul said. "I went on the mission the LORD assigned me. I completely destroyed the Amalekites and brought back Agag their king. 21 The soldiers took sheep and cattle from the plunder, the best of what was devoted to God, in order to sacrifice them to the LORD your God at Gilgal." 22 But Samuel replied: "Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. ________________________________________ Scripture Reflections This is a story about how Saul rationalized his behavior to the prophet Samuel. How did Sauls rationalize the things he did? Why would Saul want to disobey in the first place? What do you think might have been going on in his mind? 3. What was Samuels reply after he heard Sauls excuse?
1. 2.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

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Recovery Wisdom There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. Aldous Huxley ________________________________________ What does this saying mean to you? Give an example of how it works in your life.

The Spiritual Inventory Part 8

go to Appendix 4 and Complete Part 8. Feel free to work ahead if time permits.

Recovery Reading The Steps We Took; p. 61 - 65 Write three insights you received from todays readings.
1. 2.

Write the page number and quote, Then explain the insight you received.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

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Lesson 39

Forgiving Ourselves
Lets face it. When we do a fearless examination of our lives by way of the moral and spiritual inventory, it is easy to become very discouraged. Looking at the things we have done in the past can open old wounds and resentments. For those in recovery, the person that discourages us the most is ourselves! Inevitably, many of us will feel sad about the things we have done, the people we have hurt and the time we have wasted that could have been used for better things. Its good to remember this old recovery saying, It doesnt matter how you get herewhat matters is what you do next! One of the most important things we can do is extend forgiveness to ourselves and give ourselves permission to move into a new life that God will create for us. Step Four Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to another person whom I trust. (CELEBRATE RECOVERY: STEP 4)

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Matthew 5:8 Happy are the pure in heart. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (STEP 4 of the 12 Steps) Lamentations 3:40 Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.

Step Reflection As you reflect back over the time you have spent in compulsive and addictive behaviors:
1. 2.

List five regrets and feelings that continually come up for you. Do you find it difficult to forgive yourself of the negative things you have done? Why or why not?

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Scriptures Psalm 32:1 (New International Version)

1 Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.

Titus 3:5 (New International Version)

He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,

________________________________________

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Scripture Reflections 1. Relate Titus 3:5 says to what your experiences in STEP 4. 2. What does the Mercy spoken of in Titus 3:5 mean to you on a personal level? Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Recovery Wisdom Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony. Mahatma Gandhi ________________________________________ What does this saying mean to you? Give an example of how it works in your life.

The Spiritual Inventory Part 9

go to Appendix 4 and Complete Part 9. Feel free to work ahead if time permits.

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Recovery Reading The Steps We Took; p. 66 69 (Charts) Fill out the three charts found in Appendix 2. These are the same charts as found on pages 66 69 of Joe McQs book. 2. Explain 5 personal insights you learned about yourself as you filled out these charts.
1.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Lesson 40

Taking the Fourth

Congratulations! You have done what most people are unwilling to domake a searching and fearless moral inventory! Your willingness to complete each of the fourth step lessons shows that you have the ability to do the hard work of recovery that lies ahead. All of us who have taken this step (some of us multiple times) can attest that it takes a humble and courageous spirit to go through these exercises and look deeply in our lives without resorting to blaming and excuse making. If you have taken the time to thoroughly answer all that was asked of you, you will have built a firm foundation that will serve you well as you travel through the steps ahead. But for now, it is helpful to reflect back over the things weve written about our lives. Step Four Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to another person whom I trust. (CELEBRATE RECOVERY: STEP 4)
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Matthew 5:8 Happy are the pure in heart. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (STEP 4 of the 12 Steps) Lamentations 3:40 Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.

Step Reflection Looking back over what you have written so far in your moral and spiritual inventory: List five realizations that you have learned about your life as youve participated in the moral and spiritual inventory. 2. What regrets, if any, have surfaced as you have done the inventory? 3. List five benefits that you have experienced as a result of doing this inventory. 4. Call your mentor and make an appointment to visit in person about your inventory.
1.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Scriptures 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (New International Version)

Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Galatians 6:1 (New International Version)

1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But ii vii ix viii 40 41

watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.

________________________________________ Scripture Reflections 1. Describe how the scripture in 1Corinthians (see above) relates to your present life situation and work in STEP 4? 2. What is the role of a Christian Mentor according to Galatians 6:1? 3. Are you willing to accept this kind of mentorship in your life? Use the back of this page if you need to write more.

Recovery Wisdom Bad men excuse their faults; good men abandon them ________________________________________ What does this saying mean to you? Give an example of how it works in your life.

The Spiritual Inventory Part 10

go to Appendix 4 and Complete Part 10. Feel free to work ahead if time permits.

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Recovery Reading Go to Appendix 3 and Select Five of the Scriptures we have studied in this series that have meant the most to you as youve studied STEP 4.
1. 2.

Write out the scripture and then, Explain the insight or meaning you have received from it.

Use the back of this page if you need to write more

APPENDIXES
APPENDIX APPENDIX APPENDIX APPENDIX 1: 2: 3: 4: Prayers of Confession Moral Inventory Charts Selected Scriptures for STEP 4 The Moral & Spiritual Inventory 43 44 47 51 APPENDIX 4: The Moral & Spiritual Inventory

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