A day @ Panimalar

Adrenaline rush. Thats what you feel when you enter the most restricted area for guys in my college: Girls classroom. Welcome to Panimalar, where guys and girls share separate class rooms on separate floors. Yes, it offers coeducation in isolation. Thanks to Face book and mobile phones, guys are able to handle potential insanity reasonably well. Come on, man. Get on with it, urged Arjun. He was the guard for our secret little operation, watching out for the block supervisor and other staffs. One. Two. Three. There it is. Her desk. Third one from right. It was heavily scribbled, by-product of boring lecturers. I could spot some cheesy lines. EDWARD BELLA YOU BITCH I DON'T MISS YOU. I MISS WHO I THOUGHT YOU WERE The desks had fixed open drawer-like spaces underneath, which enabled students to keep useful things. Useful usually meant cell phones, snacks, novels etc. In spite of occasional raids, people still find objectionable ways to hide cell phones. As I carefully placed the package inside the desk, my hands fell on some sticky cover. I dragged it out. It was Cadburys diary milk wrapper, cleanly wiped out. Whats with girls and chocolates? Hurry-up I pushed the package deeper; making sure its not visible to the scavengers, I ran outside. The corridor was clear. 5:00 PM: Idle time for guys like us to enter girls class room without being noticed after coaching classes. All girls (including the ones that flunked) were exempted from special coaching and People still have the heart to say its a mens world. Do you think she will like it? I asked Arjun for the nth time. He was not pleased. Roshan? yes Are you gay? What?! Stop expressing yourself to me. Save all your words and love for her. Its hard enough to listen to someone who is in love I shut up. Arjun was a great friend, but he has become quite reckless after a rejection. A clear case of sour grapes. People need to loosen up in life. Tomorrow is going to be a big day, I thought to myself. My first big day at Panimalar. *********************

For the first, and probably the last, time ever, I got up before my alarm announced its presence. I scared the hell out of my mom by wishing her good morning. She was perturbed by my bonhomie. Did you even sleep? I smiled and continued brushing lazily for 10 minutes. YOU ARE GETTING LATE I did a mental debate over which shirt to wear. I decided to stick with pink, as it seemed ideal for the occasion and more chances of her wearing one. Your birthday is only tomorrow, my mom was surprised by my exuberant looks. See you, I was off. ********************* As usual, the bus arrived ahead of me. There is something funny about college buses, especially Panimalar: they are always early when you are late and late, when you are early. As soon as the girls got into the bus, it started moving. I clumsily half-jumped into the footboard and dragged myself in. It doesnt really matter to the driver whether I got into the bus or into the tire. My college bus is defined as the vehicle in which guys and girls have separate entry and exits and where, guys sit at the back, while girls occupy the front. The staffs usually sit in between, serving as barricades from serial rapists like us. There were numerous staffs who were bachelors, but it doesnt really matter. They are teachers after all. Well, that is what I keep telling myself. But the bus had its advantages, its the only place where both students and teachers sleep, without disturbing each other. But today, being special, I found it difficult to close my eyes. She would be opening her gift in another half hour. Would she like it? Would she like my greeting and also what is being written on it? Would she read it aloud, to her friends, beaming with pride and happiness? Its funny how our mind comes up with silly questions which can never really be answered by us. REC bus crossed ours. Through the half opened windows, I could see guys and girls wired into their iPods and cell phones. Technology was flourishing there. One of the guys in the bus smirked through the window, as he looked at me. Dude, you are still in school. Thanks for reminding. I closed my window. The only reason I had, to get up every day and drag myself to college, was Swathi. Doesnt love make us do crazy things? *********************

The mess was not entirely crowded as most students preferred empty stomachs/ulcers to Idlis. One more, I signaled to the guy serving Vadas, the only eatable portion of the breakfast. The guys stared at me as if I had asked both of his kidneys. I thought I can still make up for the lack of good food. Today, they serve Biriyani for lunch, the real reason behind 90% of the students attendance on Wednesdays. The Idlis in my plate were glued together as one. It was hard enough to separate it, let alone eat. Besides, I was too anxious to eat. What if someone else opens the gift before Swathi? I had clearly mentioned in the post-it card that it was meant for her. But you cant trust girls on this one. They have this knack of minding others business more. ********************* As I neared IT department, I realized that I had missed my ID card back home. Damn, I have to face them. Them meant a group of staffs standing outside the department, assigned especially for the purpose of checking grooming in students. They loved it; anything which gives them the authority to screw a students happy college life. As if we had one here. Where is your ID card, a grumpy senior professor grunted. It was time for the moment of truth. Sir, I lost it last week. I have applied for a new one. I should get it by tomorrow He looked as if he had heard these stories before. Where is the receipt? , he had no plans of letting me go. I started searching my bag for the non-existent receipt. Come on, ring the damn bell. Things happen only when you least want them to. Luckily, two minutes later, it rang. I stood up and posed an apologetic face to him. I think I misplaced it, Sir Get lost, he left for Mess. I guess he was hungry. When I reached my last bench, the class had started. Arjun was staring blank-eyed into nowhere. The first half of the day is the hardest. Each period lasted for 50 minutes or more. I sat down and opened the only notebook I had for all the 6 subjects. As soon as I looked at my watch, my stomach did a back-flip. She must have opened the gift by now. I should search for her during the interval. Quite suddenly, the three periods felt like three days. I looked around the class. Nobody was really interested, except maybe the first benchers. They were busy taking notes. What am I doing here every day?, I wondered. Engineering is something 90% of people dont choose by choice. It is forced down their throat since its the only way to get a stable job. Parents always say finish engineering and do what you love By the time engineering beats the shit out of us for four years, we are in desperate need to earn money. I mean, there is social pressure on you after graduation. Family and other relatives breathe down your neck. People whom you hardly know enquire salary figures. Money becomes a necessity. We are manufactured as social machines ready to churn out money. There is absolutely no time to consider doing what you love. LIFE IS A BITCH. I scribbled on the bench. ROSHAN came the scream. I shook myself from my philosophical stupor and stood up.

The block supervisor was standing near the professor. I wondered why I was called. You are wanted by the HOD Suddenly, I felt sick. What happened now? I threw a nervous glance at Arjun. He looked back at me with the same anxiety. Whatever happens, dont drag me in Fuck you I walked out of the class and followed the supervisor. As I descended the stairs, I mentally rehearsed the ways in which I could lie. I never thought she would turn me in. For gods sake, I just gifted her. Of course, here, it is equivalent to molestation. There were 50-50 chances of me getting suspended. They will probably call my parents for an enquiry. I could already picture my fathers face when hears everything. Stop it; you dont even know what you are in for. Of course I do. Sometimes, your worst fears come true before your own eyes. It was such a moment. As usual, my mind fired me formidable questions. Why did you see her? Why did you love her? Why did you save up for months to buy her something expensive? As my foot thudded against the steps, my heartbeats increased its rate. I entered the air conditioned staff room and took a deep breath. Every pair of eyes followed me to HOD room. It was like walking into a starved lions den. Life will always be at stake here. There were 3 persons inside. One, Head of IT department. She looked like someone you usually point at, while force-feeding food to adamant small children. Yes, she is the source of perspiration for the entire department. Two, a professor. The same moron who made my morning miserable. Apparently, he had a smug expression on his face. Gotcha Three, Swathi. My heart skipped a bit. I stole a second glance. She was indeed wearing pink. Pushing away the fact that Im getting screwed, I had to admit that she looked stunning. Oval face without blemish. Shining hair in a ponytail. Dress which perfectly accentuated her appearance. I desperately wished I had worn another shirt. Apart from the fact that it was uncomfortably tight, it was the same color. The table before me had everything I tried to stuff inside the desk yesterday. The gift box was unwrapped. It was a titan wristwatch, along with a greeting card and a Temptations chocolate bar. You may leave, she told Swathi. As she crossed me, lovely perfume filled my breath. I closed my eyes for a macro second. Forget her man, she got you into this mess. It was time for them to go in for the kill. I was the scapegoat of the day, probably for the month. Boring teaching jobs needed some sensation and there I was. Can you explain this?, she pointed at the table. What Mam?, I tried to put on an innocent face. Heck, Im not going to give in that easy.

Ill tell you what, she picked up the greeting. Would she read it aloud, to her friends, beaming with pride and happiness? I got my answers now. She started reading it aloud. It may be sad that we are apart on this day, but know that things are about to change J Somebody up there cares for you, somebody down here loves you Happy birthday Roshan She glared at me, furious. I have been observing you Roshan and today, I get to know the reason behind your low grades But mam, I didnt write that one I tried to look confused. The professor entered the celebration. You are the only Roshan in our department. Who do you think wrote this? Hrithik Roshan?, he laughed at his own joke. Roshan ! Think. Think. You need to get away from this. Can I see the greeting once, mam? Why, she was suspicious. I just need to check whether its my hand-writing No. You bring some of your class works. Ill do the checking Good idea madam. I never thought of that, professor grinned at her. Sucking up to your boss is mandatory in corporate life. I nodded and left the staff room. It was time to act. When I reached the class room, it was math. In other words, it was a free period. I hurried on to my bench and pulled some of Arjuns notebooks. What happened man. Why are you taking my class works? Arjun was tensed. Looking at the first page, I realized all of his notebooks were named. God damnit. Ill explain you later. Im in a hurry People around me started giving annoyed glances. I searched four bags before I found two unnamed class works. It was Dilips note books. Dilip, can you do me a favor? What? Write my name and roll number on first page

I cant do that. Its mine As though it was not painfully obvious. All of a sudden, naming his notebook seemed a top priority for him. Come on. Ill even buy you a new one. Its quite urgent Roshan, why are you disturbing my class Sorry, sir. Just searching my class work I bent down and whispered to him. Please Dilip. Its quite important He grudgingly started filling the first page. ********************* She fell for that?, Arjun was smiling from ear to ear. No. But she had to let me go since she had no solid proof Wow. Man, you are lucky to get away I lost the girl and you still think Im lucky?I was irritated. I didnt mean that. I mean, she didnt yet say it out, right? As if its needed. Reporting to HOD was convincing enough. Good-looking girls think they own the bloody man-kind. Whats worse, they do Listen, look at this issue from another perspective. What if she had been caught by her teacher, while she was trying to un-wrap the gift in the class? Its possible, right? No, I replied, even though I felt slightly better. There was still a horizon of hope. You should not let her go, man. Its too soon. You should go talk to her. Find out what really happened No way, I have had enough. Love is for tougher people I felt miserable again. I left. Its a wonder how a guy feels a variety of emotions in just 24 hours. ********************* Happy birthday, my mom woke me up with grin. Thank you, I replied with a forced smile and hurried onto the washroom. As I dressed up, my mom entered my room. She was surprised to see me dressing up like any other day. Where is the checked shirt which we had bought you? Why arent you wearing that? Mom, its too exuberant. I dont feel like showing off You did, yesterday Well, yesterday was different, mom. Today, I wish I had not born. I smiled.

World will be hell when people start hearing each others thoughts. I was early to the bus stop. The bus was late. ********************* As I skipped my breakfast, I reached an almost empty class. There were around 4 of them and they were sleeping in their respective desks. I wish I had taken the day off. I had heard that they cut cakes and present gifts for birthday birds in girls class. As far as I can remember, nobody had surprised me with a gift or a birthday cake in my entire life. I wished I was a girl. Extra bit of attention from everyone. Plenty of proposals and plenty of boys lives to screw every week. Hundreds of likes and comments in Face book. There will be no waiting in queues. No need to study ones ass off. The class filled up fairly quick and the periods started sharply by 8:00. Arjun was absent. Damn, another miserable day in my college life. I was not at all interested to look up. 30-22-32. I scribbled on my desk. That was when I saw something underneath it. It was a crimson colored cover. I dragged it out. My stomach did a back flip, as I noticed a gift box. A greeting card fell out. With trembling hands, I opened the card to see some words written in stunning handwriting. It may be sad that we are apart on this day, but I hope things will change J Happy birthday Roshan Swathi I was smiling like an idiot. Life slaps you in one cheek and kisses another. I started un-wrapping the gift with haste. It was a fast-track watch. The one I was yearning to buy for ages. I kissed my new wrist-watch. A scream rented the air. ROSHAN. WHAT IS THERE IN YOUR HAND? GET UP As I said earlier, life is a bitch. *********************

Ashwin Saravanan