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Sexuality
How To Give a Handjob to a Woman
By Cory Silverberg, About.com Updated: June 6, 2008
About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board
The term handjob is usually reserved for something you do to a man. But there aren’t any good terms for pleasuring a
woman using your hands and fingers, so I’m sticking with handjob. Giving a great handjob is as much about making a
connection with your partner as it is about a specific technique. Don’t think of a handjob as work, think of it as a craft.
Thinking of yourself as a crafts person (which, I guess, means “vulva” is your clay?) seems fitting, since a really great
handjob is way more art than science. Below are some tips both scientific and artistic, to guide you in the development of
your craft.
Difficulty: N/A
Time Required: Two Minutes to two hours, handjobs can usually fit into any schedule
Here's How:
want it to end with an orgasm. But thinking about giving a handjob as if it’s like telling your partner a story can help
keep you tuned into two crucial elements of a good handjob, pacing and connection.
8. Making contact.
What separates a handjob from masturbation is both the excitement of the unknown, but also the fact that it’s someone
else giving you pleasure. Keeping a tight connection between you and your partner during a handjob will exponentially
increase the quality and satisfaction. Whether it’s making eye contact, allowing yourself to make noises as she does, or
touching other parts of her body with a free hand (or other parts of your body), anything you can do to attune yourself
to her experience will help you in focusing on the pleasure of the moment rather than thinking about what you’re going
to next.
penetration you can provide clitoral stimulation with your thumb or other part of your hand depending on how your
positioned.
Tips:
2. Wetter is better.
If your partner consistently has a lot of vaginal lubrication you may not want to add more personal lubricant4 , but the
fact is that having more lubrication can intensify the stimulation, so in this case more is rarely worse. Sticking with a
water-based or silicone-based lubricant is probably the best idea.
4. Adding vibration.
Vibrators can be a great addition to a handjob, and you should never feel that using one somehow lessens your skill or
craft. If you haven’t used one before during a handjob I recommend that you turn it on and put it in her hand so she can
show you where she likes vibration, what the speed and pressure of the vibration should be. You can also learn more
about using vibrators for women5 to get some pointers.
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