''Dear Catherine: l'm sorry l haven 't talked to you in so long. l feel l've been lost... ...

no bearings, no compass. l kept crashing into things, a little crazy, l guess. l've never been lost before. You were my true north. l could always steer for home when you were my home. Forgive me for being so angry when you left. l still think some mistake's been made... ...and l'm waiting for God to take it back. But l'm doing better now. The work helps me. Most of all, you help me. You came into my dream last night with that smile... ... that always held me like a lover... ...rocked me like a child. All l remember from the dream... ...is a feeling of peace. l woke up with that feeling... ...and tried to keep it alive as long as l could. l'm writing to tell you that l'm on a journey toward that peace. And to tell you l'm sorry about so many things. l'm sorry l didn 't take better care of you... ...so you never spent a minute being cold or scared or sick. '' ''I'm sorry I didn't try harder to find the words. . . . . .to teII you what I was feeIing. I'm sorry I never fixed the screen door. I fixed it now. I'm sorry I ever fought with you. I'm sorry I didn't apoIogize more. I was too proud. I'm sorry I didn't bring you more compIiments. . . . . .on everything you wore and every way you fixed your hair. I'm sorry I didn't hoId on to you with so much strength. . . . . .that even God couIdn't puII you away. '' Signed, ''AII my Iove, G. '' ''Dear Catherine: There isn't an hour without you in it. I mend the boats, test them. . . . . .and aII the whiIe the memories come in Iike the tide. I thought today of when we were young. . . . . .and you Ieft our worId for a bigger worId. I was a Iot more scared than I wouId admit. I fought my fear. . .

. . .by teIIing myseIf you'd come back someday. . . . . .and trying to think of the first thing I'd say when I saw you again. I must have tried out possibiIities. What did I finaIIy say? Not much. My mouth wouIdn't work, except to kiss you. When you said, 'I'm here to stay' . . . . .that said it aII. WeII, I'm doing it again I keep imagining what I'd say to you if somehow you came back. ''

To all the ships at sea... ...and all the ports of call. To my family... ...and to all friends and strangers. This is a message and a prayer. The message is that my travels taught me a great truth. l already had what everyone is searching for... ...and few ever find: The one person in the world... ... who l was born to love forever. A person like me, of the Outer Banks... ...and the blue Atlantic mystery. A person rich in simple treasures... ...self-made, self-taught. A harbor where l am forever home. And no wind or trouble... ...or even a little death can knock down this house. The prayer is that everyone in the world can know this kind of love... ...and be healed by it. lf my prayer is heard, then there will be an erasing of all guilt... ...and all regret... ...and an end to all anger. Please, God. Amen.