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Women Tell You

How to Meet
Women
Edited by Jon Jensen, R.A.
Introduction

Introduction
You always wanted to be a spy, right? Finding out the top-secret
information, the stuff that’s really, really valuable, the stuff that will
make all the difference. Then bring back that top secret informa-
tion and use it to win the war.

That’s what this book is. It’s the top secret information
that’s been kept from guys far too long. It’s the information
every guy needs to pick up the woman of their dreams.

Sure, there are other books on meeting women, but they are
always written by some guy who claims he has met and bedded

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Introduction

thousands of women. He claims that his tricks will work for you.
But how can they? You’re different from every other guy. Maybe
that guy is taller than you are. Maybe he’s thinner, or drives a bet-
ter car. Maybe he’s attracted to different kinds of women than you
are. How are his techniques ever going to help you?

So I took a different approach. Hey, I’ve picked up my share of


women over the years, and it’s been great. I have a few tips up my
sleeve that have worked magic for me, but I don’t think they’ll
work for everyone. Instead I set out to have WOMEN talk about
THEIR experiences being picked up. We know these techniques
worked because they WORKED ON THESE WOMEN.
In this book women tell you how to pick them up. They tell you
where to pick them up, when to pick them up, and how you should
never try to pick them up.

By the way, I underlined things that I think every guy should know.

Good luck out there!

Jon Jensen, R.A.

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The Women

The Women
Kelly: Mid 20s, light blond and blue eyes, athletic, dates tons
but never seems to make it to the second date. This
love-em-and-leave-em gal has traveled the world and
loves the online dating scene.

Lori: Blond, mid 30s but looks like she’s straight out of
college. Has a great job but plays it cool – never lets
the guys she picks up know that she made more
money this year than they’ll make in the next ten.

Brenda: Early 30s, former serial dater, now a soccer mom


with memories to spare and a body sculpted from
daily aerobics.

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The Women

Marie: Late 20s, Tall, dark hair,


tough-minded career woman
who doesn’t like games. A
straight shooter who wants
what she wants and isn’t
afraid to ask for it.

Rene: Early 20s, exotic brunette with


a body that won’t quit, likes
guys who take action and
keep their mouths shut.

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Getting Her Number

Getting Her Number


JJ: Ladies, thank you for your cooperation. I feel as if this
project will help open a lot of guys’ eyes to mistakes
they are making when trying to meet gorgeous women
like you.

Marie: Most guys need a lot of help.

JJ: I agree. So let’s start with you, Kelly. What’s the best way
for a guy to meet you?

Kelly: All he needs to do is ask me to dance. Hell, I’ll dance


with just about anybody. I don’t like them to talk, you
know, just to dance.
I kind of use them
like a stripper
uses a pole.

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Getting Her Number

JJ: So that’s how a guy picks you up?

Kelly: Oh, I didn’t say that’s how he picks me up. That’s how
to meet me. Most of the time guys have nothing to say
after I dance with them. They’re like fish – I just throw
them back.

JJ: But some guys DO get to talk to you after you


dance, right?

Kelly: Sure, if he’s the right kind of guy and says the
right things.

JJ: So how does a guy get your number?

Lori: [interrupting] Oh man, I almost NEVER give a guy


my number.

JJ: Why not?

Lori: Guys can be stalkers. The last thing you want is a guy
stalking you. Most guys seem okay when you meet
them, really quiet and unassuming, but then they
become stalkers.

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Calling Etiquette – Guys Don’t Get It

Calling Etiquette–
Guys Don’t Get It
Kelly: Guys just don’t
get it. They think
because you
give them your
number they can
just call and call.
I hate that. Guys
should realize
that if they call
and leave a message that we got the message and that
if we really want to call them back we will.

Rene: In this age of caller ID people should assume that every


one knows that they are calling and how many times
they called. If you call and don’t leave a message then
call back again and don’t leave a message a woman is
just going to figure that you’re a stalker and that’s it. No
one wants to go out with a stalker. Leave one message,
just one message, and that’s it. Don’t keep calling.

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Calling Etiquette – Guys Don’t Get It

Brenda: I gave this one guy my number and he called me five


times a day for a week. If I had wanted to talk to him I
would have called him back right away.

Kelly: Guys think being persistent is complimentary. It’s not so


complimentary, really. Being too persistent makes a guy
seem like a stalker.

Marie: Guys have to understand that there is something essentially


scary about men. And that they should steer clear of being
scary. Like, this one guy followed me around an airport like
he was my dog. I had to get the cops to tell him to stop
bothering me. Did he think that I’d find that attractive?
Guys have got to get a grip on reality.

Kelly: And another thing I want to bring up: when I DO give my


number to a guy, I want him to call. What is with this
“I won’t call her for three days” crap.

JJ: As a guy, it’s because we don’t want to seem too eager.

Kelly: That’s bulls**t. If I give a guy my number he should just


call. He probably seemed pretty eager when he was
asking for it. If a woman likes him she’ll be glad to hear
from him. Waiting a few days just pisses us off.

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Confidence, Man

Confidence, Man
Lori: But it’s true, sometimes women don’t want a guy who is
too eager. Women are sometimes attracted to guys who
are aloof. The last thing you want is a guy who is up
your butt.

Marie: Not necessarily aloof – confident.

Rene: That’s true.

Brenda: Confident. Absolutely.

Kelly: But down to earth.

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Confidence, Man

Marie: He needs to show his confidence dancing. Even if he


isn’t a good dancer he needs to show his confidence
dancing. You don’t have to be a good dancer to
show confidence.

Kelly: Confidence can go a long way no matter what you


look like.

JJ: So, if a guy is confident, and reasonably good looking,


will you give him your number?

Rene: I’ll lie and give him a fake number.

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Why Women Lie

Why Women Lie


JJ: Lying and
giving a fake
number is
awful.

Rene: I’ll take his


number if I
really want to
call him.

Kelly: Rene and I lied to some guy the other night. We said we
were both students at Harvard home for a break. We said
we were roommates.

JJ: Did he believe you?

Kelly: Hell yeah.

Rene: Kelly will lie about her age, her name, school, address –
you name it, Kelly will lie about it.

JJ: Why?

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Why Women Lie

Kelly: I don’t want to give guys my real information because I


don’t want them to be stalkers, you know? It’s easier
than telling a guy to get lost. You can always tell him the
truth later. Guys don’t really care.

Rene: Sometimes we pretend to have accents.

JJ: That’s just cruel.

Kelly: Hey, guys can do it, too. Why not pretend to have
an accent.

Rene: I love accents on guys. Foreign accents that is, not


New York accents or Southern accents. An English or
Australian accent is really nice. A guy gets extra points
for an accent.

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How to Approach Women: Lines That Work

How to Approach Women:


Lines That Work
JJ: So, how should a guy approach women like you?

Kelly: Take a risk and don’t be cheesy.

JJ: Great advice, but could you be more specific?


Tell me some of the lines that have been used on you
that worked.

Brenda: How about “Should I call you in the morning or just


nudge you?”

JJ: That worked?

Brenda: Hell, I ended


up marrying
the guy.

JJ: A great story


for the
grandkids.

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How to Approach Women: Lines That Work

Marie: My current boyfriend used “how’s your heart?”

JJ: Is he a cardiologist?

Lori: It’s not the line, really. I mean, we’ve heard them all. I bet
between us all we’ve heard every line that ever existed.
What really matters is what works for that moment.

Rene: Yeah, a guy can’t come up to you in the middle of a White


Stripes concert and say “Hey, I lost my Teddy Bear, can I
sleep with you instead?” I mean, that’s awful. But if a guy
asks how you like the concert or if you like this kind of
music or something that makes sense, that’s okay.

Lori: One time in a bar this guy walked up to me and said “do
you really need to wear those glasses, or do you just like
looking sexy?” That was great. I hate my glasses and was
only wearing them because my contacts were out of
commission. Compliments like that work great.

Brenda: Definitely, compliments make you feel more attractive.

Marie: But you have to be sincere. And simple.

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How to Approach Women: Lines That Work

JJ: Okay, please tell me what you think of these lines:

• “Tell me, where do you get your clothes?”


(consensus: awful)

• “You have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.”


(consensus: fantastic)

• “You have great hair – who is your stylist?”


(consensus: bad, unless you’re gay)

• “Have you seen any good concerts lately?”


(consensus: not so bad, but not good)

• “What kind of man turns you on?”


(consensus: terrible)

• “Are you from around here?”


(consensus: okay)

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Good Pick Up Spots: Not What You’d Expect

Good Pick Up Spots:


Not What You’d Expect
JJ: Okay, tell me, where are the good places to pick up
women? Where would you be most likely to be picked
up? A bar?

Kelly: I guess, but a bar is pretty played.

Lori: Every woman expects to be hit on in a bar. Their


defenses are up. It’s probably an okay place to meet
women, but not the best.

JJ: Okay. How about an airport or an airplane?

Kelly: If it seems natural. Don’t be a stalker about it. But if you


happen to sit next to someone that catches your eye, you
can talk to them.

Rene: You know, I heard the train is a really great place to meet
guys. Like instead of taking a plane you take a train.
Guys can approach you on the train because it’s more
relaxed and there are no assigned seats.

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Good Pick Up Spots: Not What You’d Expect

Brenda: Food shopping is a great place.

Rene: Yeah, a guy can


come up with a
lot of good things
to ask you about
while you’re food
shopping. Like
“I’ve got to cook
a meal for my
boss and I don’t
know the
difference between regular and Italian parsley.” Or, if you
want to be really basic about it, “how can you tell regular
potatoes from sweet potatoes?” But then she might think
you’re kind of dumb.

Lori: Dale Carnegie classes – or any class – works well. Or the


beach, that can be good, but unless a woman has a
perfect body she might be a little nervous at the beach.

Kelly: Even if she has a great body she’s going to be nervous.

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Good Pick Up Spots: Not What You’d Expect

Marie: A bookstore is good. A guy can just ask you where


something is, or if you’re in a specific section of the
store, he can ask you if you like the kind of book that is
in the section, like mystery or science fiction. Then he
can ask you to recommend a book.

JJ: What about the gym?

Kelly: Here’s a great rule of thumb – if she’s wearing makeup at


the gym, you can absolutely ask her out. If she isn’t
wearing makeup, stay away.

Rene: Starbucks works for me. But once again, he can’t be


cheesy. He has to make sure that his line makes sense in
Starbucks. I mean, he can’t ask me to dance or anything.

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Eye Contact: Better Than Words?

Eye Contact:
Better Than Words?
Rene: The sexually charged look always gets my attention.

Kelly: I know. It’s better than a pick up line for a lot of women.

Marie: And Rene is the queen of the sexually charged look.

JJ: Okay, tell me more.

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Eye Contact: Better Than Words?

Rene: Well, it’s all about eye-to-eye contact. And not saying
anything. The key is to hold off saying anything as long
as you can. And gentlemen, it’s eye to EYE contact, not
eye to BREAST.

Kelly: And no winking, for God’s sake.

Rene: If the look goes on for a solid five minutes then it’s okay
to approach the woman. Also, you’ve got to break away
from the look for a count of 30 at least once and then
look back. If she’s looking back at you then you’re in the
clear. If she isn’t then it’s over.

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Online Dating

Online Dating
Kelly: I meet a lot of guys online these days.

Lori: Really?

Kelly: At first I thought it was really kind of weird, you know,


kind of like a meat market. But it’s really easy, and it helps me
screen out guys really fast.

JJ: How can a guy stop


himself from being
screened out by you?

Kelly: Just seem normal. I


mean, don’t seem all
crazy and don’t seem
boring. I guess it
would probably work
best if we had some-
thing in common.

JJ: But how would a guy know what you have in common
if you’ve never met?

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Online Dating

Kelly: I guess it’s just best to list a lot of hobbies and interests
and figure that something will make an impression. Also
you’ve got to stand out somehow. To me 90% of the guys
online say the same stupid things. I mean, you can say
some of the same stuff, but don’t repeat everything.

JJ: In other words, don’t give you a reason to screen


them out.

Kelly: Yeah, it’s too easy to say “no, not you.” There are just so
many guys to choose from that if there is any reason to
screen a guy out I will. The guy just has to make sure he
doesn’t give me a reason.

JJ: He should just write something funny?

Kelly: Funny will work. Smart will work, but not TOO smart.
He just has to stand out.

JJ: So you email guys who you see online?

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Online Dating

Kelly: I really don’t have to. Thousands of guys have emailed


me. I mean, it’s literally in the thousands now. I can
hardly keep up with them. I live near New York City, so
there are a lot of guys in the area. So I immediately try to
start weeding them out. Too tall, too short, generic
profile, anything.

JJ: What about the guys who don’t email you?

Kelly: First off I don’t think there is a single guy who


participates in online dating within 100 miles of me who
has not emailed me. And if there is, there is no way that I
have time to go looking for a guy on one of these date
sites. There are far too many people emailing me. Plus,
why would I want to put myself out there to have to
email someone? I’m on one of these pay-by-the-message
sites, and I’m telling you I have never, ever paid to send
an email. I get so many of these that every night that I’m
not on a date I’m sorting through the emails I get. It’s like
it’s a full time job.

JJ: But you DO go out on dates with these guys.

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Online Dating

Kelly: Yeah, I do. Why would anyone submit themselves to the


humiliation of these online dating services unless they
were interested in going on a date? It’s not like you’re at
a restaurant or a bar and maybe you’re just out for a
night with the girls. If you’re online then you are
definitely looking for a guy.

JJ: So a guy emails you, how can he get your attention?

Kelly: When a guy sends an email, a funny or clever subject


line helps. And make sure you don’t talk about how
sexy you are – that’s a real turn off. Don’t brag about
yourself or talk about how much money you make, I
really don’t care about all that. Just be natural and not
stuck-up. And don’t be a stalker – I can’t tell guys about
that enough – DO NOT BE A STALKER. It’s not a turn on
to be stalked. Maybe it’s a turn on for guys to have a
woman stalk them, but it’s not for women. So if you’re
reading this and you’re stalking someone right now,
just cut it out.

JJ: So a guy should ask you out via email?

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Online Dating

Kelly: No. Just get to know me via email. Don’t rush things. If I
trust you I’ll trade phone numbers with you. Then after
we talk on the phone you can ask me out. But I’m not
going to meet a guy unless I talk to him on the phone first.

And I’ve got to see a picture of him, so guys, get a


decent picture of yourself. Something that’s been taken
in the last five years, because I don’t want any surprises
when I go out on a date. If you’ve recently gained thirty
pounds I want to know about it before we go out. Your
winning personality is not going to smooth over the fact
that you’ve been hitting the buffet a little too hard.

Just be honest, for God’s sake. Even if you’re turned


down via email it’s better than wasting my time on a date
and pissing me off. You don’t want to be on a date with
me when I’m pissed off.

JJ: Should a guy ask you out for a romantic dinner?

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Online Dating

Kelly: Of course not. A romantic dinner for the first date is the
last place I want to go with a guy I don’t know. If I’m at a
fancy restaurant I can’t just leave if I don’t like the guy,
I’ve got to endure hours of him droning on and on about
some boring thing or another.

The worst guys are the boring guys, the ones that only
talk about themselves. And also, the last thing I want is
to feel as if I owe you something at the end of a date just
because you took me to a fancy restaurant. I’m not
owing you anything, buddy.

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Who Pays for the Date?

Who Pays for the Date?


JJ: That brings up a good point: if you go to a fancy
restaurant, or just out to a drink, who pays?

Lori: Whoever asks the other person out pays.

Kelly: No way – HE pays, no matter what.

Rene: Whatever feels right at the time. Maybe he pays,


maybe we split it.

JJ: If you split


the check, I
assume that
the guy has
absolutely no
chance of
scoring with you.

Lori: That’s right.

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Who Pays for the Date?

Rene: Not necessarily. Whether he scores is based on if I like


him and if he’s hot, not whether he pays or not.

Marie: I think it should be based on economic necessity.


Whoever can most afford to pay should pay. That seems
the most fair.

Rene: Kind of takes the romance out of it, however.

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First Date Etiquette

First Date Etiquette


Kelly: Here’s some tips for any first date:

1. It should never be longer than a drink because you


don’t want to get stuck with anyone.

2. Never mention the price of ANYTHING – expensive


or cheap. It makes you seem like an ass.

3. Ask questions and listen, but don’t talk about yourself


unless you have to. Here’s a good first date question
to ask: what’s your favorite childhood memory?

4. But don’t JUST listen, listen and respond.

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Do You Have to be a Supermodel?

Do You Have to be a
Supermodel?
JJ: Something Kelly said when we were taking about online
dating really stuck with me: you said a guy has to be
handsome for you to go out with him. How important
are looks when a guy is trying to pick up a woman?

Kelly: First off I said “hot,”


not “handsome.”
There is a big
difference.

JJ: Really?

Rene: You don’t have to be


handsome to be hot.

JJ: This is the first time I’ve heard about this.

Marie: I mean there are some obvious turn offs, like bad breath
and dirty teeth. I don’t care if you’re Brad Pitt, bad breath
is going to turn me off.

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Do You Have to be a Supermodel?

Rene: There’s this thing called sexy-ugly. You can be ugly and
sexy at the same time. Like Willem DaFoe. I think he’s an
ugly, ugly man, but he’s also incredibly sexy. Well, maybe
he’s not as ugly as he is unusual looking.

JJ: Explain this to me.

Rene: If you’re not a great looking guy, it doesn’t mean that you
have no chance. Just try to find something that is good
looking about yourself and bring it out. Like your eyes or
your lips. Then wear clothes that really bring that out.
And have some confidence in yourself, dammit.

JJ: Okay, I’m not sure I can believe this. The rest of you, do
you believe in this sexy-ugly theory?

Brenda: It’s not a theory, it’s the truth. Most of the guys I’ve dated
have not been your traditionally handsome kind of guys.
Hell, my husband is bald, for God’s sake. But he’s
very sexy.

Lori: It’s all about the way a guy looks when he approaches
you, not just how good looking he is. It’s all about how
he acts, if he feels he has confidence.

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Shoes – It’s All About the Shoes

Shoes – It’s All


About the Shoes
Kelly: Shoes are really,
really important.

JJ: What kind of


shoes?

Kelly: Good shoes.


Attractive,
casual dress
shoes. You know
what I mean.

Lori: Yeah, no boat shoes, no old, beat up shoes. And no


sandals -- please.

Kelly: And no dirty shoes. They don’t have to be real shiny or


anything, but they cannot be dirty. I cannot stress that
enough – no dirty shoes.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 33


Shoes – It’s All About the Shoes

Rene: Black shoes mean black socks. Enough said.

Brenda: And nice hands are very important.

Lori: Yeah, guys, stop biting your nails. But don’t get a
manicure either, that’s no good.

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Cologne or No Cologne

Cologne or No Cologne?
JJ: Do you like cologne on guys?

Lori: Depends on the guy. I guess it’s okay as long as it’s light.

Rene: Yeah, you don’t want to smell the guy’s cologne unless
you’re pressed up to him.

Marie: There’s nothing good about cologne.

Rene: You see, I disagree. I like cologne. But just not too
much of it.

WOMEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET WOMEN 35


Final Thoughts

Final Thoughts

Marie: Be confident.

Kelly: Wear decent shoes.

Lori: Don’t be cheesy or a stalker.

Brenda: You don’t have to be beautiful.

Rene: Meanwhile, we’re just here waiting.

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