45 RULES THAT GUYS WISH GIRLS KNEW

>
> 1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not
> ask us. We refuse to answer.
>
> 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, Put it
> down.
>
> 3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always
> more attractive than short hair. One of the big
> reasons guys fear getting married is that married
> women always cut their hair, and by then, you are
> stuck with her.
>
> 4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not
> quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet
> again!
>
> 5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
> expect an answer you do not want to hear.
>
> 6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live
> with it.
>
> 7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless
> you are prepared to discuss such topics as Angelina
> Jolie's lips, the shotgun formation and Tiger
> Woods.
>
> 8. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
> changing of the tides. Let it be.
>
> 9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never
> going to think of it that way.
>
> 10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
> you wear is fine. Really. Especially if we're already
> late.
>
> 11. You have enough clothes.
>
> 12. You have too many shoes.
>
> 13. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 14. Your ex-boyfriend (or ex-husband) is an idiot.
>
> 15. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this
> one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not
> work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
>
> 16. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will.
> Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
>
> 17. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult. We are
> bound to miss sometimes.
>
> 18. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes
> you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out
> of thirty, would look good with your dress?
>
> 19. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
> almost every question.
>
> 20. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
> solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your
> girlfriends are for.
>
> 21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
> See a doctor.
>
> 22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
>
> 23. Check your oil.
>
> 24. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective
> than deceived.
>
> 25. It is neither in your best interest or ours to
> take the quiz together.
>
> 26. No, it does not matter which quiz.
>
> 27. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
> an argument. All comments become null and void after 7
> days.
>
> 28. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
> girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
>
> 29. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
> and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
> the other one.
>
> 30. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it is
> genetic.
>
> 31. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to
> come out.
>
> 32. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us
> how you want it done; not both.
>
> 33. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have
> to say during TV commercials.
>
> 34. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and
> neither do we.
>
> 35. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose
> their right to complain about having their boobs
> stared at.
>
> 36. More women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut
> blouses. We like staring at boobs.
>
> 37. The relationship is never going to be like it was
> the first two months we were going out.
>
> 38. Men see in only 16 colors, like windows default
> settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
>
> 39. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
>
> 40. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>
> 41. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for
> you.
>
> 42. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why MY
> stuff gets thrown in the closet/attic/basement.
>
> 43. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our
> lack of mind-reading ability is NOT proof of how
> little we care about you.
>
> 44. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we
> will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying,
> but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
> 45. If we hear from an old girlfriend, we will
> briefly fantasize about having sex with her. But do
> not worry; the fantasy includes you AND her together.