60947-Frica de A Vorbi in Public

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public
Self-Study Guide
Self-Study Guide
2005-2010, Velsoft Training Materials Inc.
Copyright
All rights reserved world-wide under International and Pan-American copyright agreements. No part of this document can be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the prior written permission of Velsoft Training Materials Inc.
How to Use This Guide

This Self-Study Guide is designed and laid out in a way that will guide student learning much in the same way that an instructor would. This workbook is comprised of modules called Sessions. Each Session focuses on a major concept in the course. In each Session, we have included short-answer and (in some instances) multiple choice questions which relate directly to the Session material. Throughout the guide, you can take the opportunity to internalize what you have learned by completing the selfreflection exercises entitled Making Connections.
Table of Contents
Session One: Course Overview ...................................................................................................................... 1 Learning Objectives .............................................................................................................................. 1 Pre-Assignment ..................................................................................................................................... 2 Session Two: Good Communication Skills .................................................................................................... 3 Exercise: Defining Communication ...................................................................................................... 3 Making Connections ............................................................................................................................. 6 Session Three: Interpersonal Skills ................................................................................................................ 7 Listening ............................................................................................................................................... 7 Making Connections ............................................................................................................................. 8 Asking Questions .................................................................................................................................10 Session Four: Self-Disclosure .......................................................................................................................11 What is Self-Disclosure? ......................................................................................................................11 Making Connections ............................................................................................................................15 Session Five: The Art of Conversation ..........................................................................................................16 The Four Levels ...................................................................................................................................16 Level One: Small Talk (Exercise) ........................................................................................................17 Level Two: Fact Disclosure .................................................................................................................17 Level Three: Viewpoints and Opinions ...............................................................................................18 Level Four: Personal Feelings ..............................................................................................................18 Making Connections ............................................................................................................................19 Session Six: Practicing Dialogue ...................................................................................................................20 Session Seven: Redesigning Yourself for Strength .......................................................................................21 Making Connections ............................................................................................................................23 Using Your Voice ................................................................................................................................24 Session Eight: Professionalism ......................................................................................................................27 Making Connections ............................................................................................................................29 Session Nine: Maximizing Meetings .............................................................................................................31 Four Areas of Opportunity ...................................................................................................................31 Making Connections ............................................................................................................................32 Session Ten: Sticky Situations ......................................................................................................................36 Making Connections ............................................................................................................................36 Session Eleven: Controlling Nervousness .....................................................................................................38 Making Connections ............................................................................................................................39 Session Twelve: Tell Me a Story ...................................................................................................................40 Making Connections ............................................................................................................................40 Session Thirteen: A Personal Action Plan .....................................................................................................42 Starting Point .......................................................................................................................................42 Short-Term Goals and Rewards ...........................................................................................................43 Long-Term Goals .................................................................................................................................43 Summary .......................................................................................................................................................44 Recommended Reading List ..........................................................................................................................45
Session One: Course Overview

Do you get nervous when presenting at company meetings? Do you find it hard to make conversation at gatherings and social events? Do you lock up in awkward social situations? This course has been designed for anyone wanting to improve their speaking skills in formal and informal situations. In this course, you will learn strategies to gain confidence in your public speaking skills. The exercises and the information you find in this course have been written to allow you to relate your knowledge to your professional position.
Learning Objectives
Throughout this course our focus is to provide you with information to: Enhance your ability to speak one-on-one with others. Feel more confident speaking socially or in small groups, such as meetings. Practice developing these skills in a safe and supportive setting. Please take this opportunity to consider your personal learning objectives and reasons for taking this course.
Pre-Assignment
What opportunities for developing communication with others have you avoided in the last three weeks, due to your fear of speaking?
How do we get to be better communicators?
Session Two: Good Communication Skills

We communicate with other people every day, in a variety of environments and social contexts. However, rarely do we make our communications with others a topic of investigation or study. In this session, we begin by reviewing the foundational concepts and characteristics of communication. As you continue through the course, you will learn that good communication requires a desire for personal development.
Exercise: Defining Communication

To gain an idea of the knowledge you already have about communication, use the space below to define the concepts and terms involved in the subject of communications.
An example might be: Sending messages that others understand, whether we send them by speaking, writing, or by our body language.
Provide reasons why you believe it is import to develop effective communication skills (both for your personal and professional relationships).
We have included the following reasons. The opportunity to: Express your opinion Change the course of a project Seem more knowledgeable Be more apt to be promoted Express emotions in positive ways.
Making Powerful Presentations
To make powerful, impressive, and lasting presentations, start from within. Talk to yourself. Clarify the message in your own mind before you try communicating it to someone else. Rehearse a little bit. Nothing clarifies your thoughts more than writing them down. Be very aware of the messages or inner tapes you are playing to yourself. Dont sabotage yourself by giving yourself negative messages about your ability to communicate, or about how the other person will take your message. Most of us are way too hard on ourselves. Plan what you will say and then be optimistic it will come out right and be received well. Who is stopping you from being self-confident and self-reliant right now? Im not stopping you. Nobody is stopping you but yourself. When you speak to individuals, take the time to express yourself in an organized manner. Dont rush. Clarify. Ask for feedback. Do not assume that the message sent was the message received. Know when to stop talking.
Group Presentations
When presenting to a group, make sure you: Have a message worth communicating Gain the listeners attention Emphasize understanding Get feedback Watch your emotional tone Persuade them to adopt your point of view or take the action you want them to take
Making Connections
Barriers to Communication
What do you believe are barriers that keep us from communicating well with others?
Here we have suggested these reasons: Not enough time Everybody doesnt speak the same language People use words others dont understand People dont speak up, so others dont know what they are thinking People come from different cultures People are angry, sad, or happy, and this gets in the way of communication People make assumptions they know what others mean, when they really dont know
Session Three: Interpersonal Skills

Since we are in constant communication with others around us, it is important to develop positive, interpersonal relationships with them. Doing so depends on your ability to understand others; to make an honest attempt at listening. In this session, we discuss the two most important activities of good communicating: listening and asking questions.
Listening
Much of the communication that occurs between people is one-way, without either party truly hearing the other or accurately understanding what was said. In fact, if you think about it, modern culture often teaches us to avoid two-way communication because it is too personal and imposing. The cost of not listening is very high. Lives have been lost and countless unnecessary dollars spent, just because somebody didnt listen. The good news is, though, that we can all learn to be better listeners. Researchers have identified two types of listening: Passive Listening: We hear the sounds but we arent necessarily using our mental skills to hear and understand what is being said. Active Listening: We make a conscious effort to hear and understand the message.
Three Steps to Active Listening
There are three steps you can take to listen actively: Non-verbal cues, such as eye contact, leaning toward the speaker, and an alert expression on your face. Short verbal cues, such as Uh-huh, Yes, I understand, etc. Feedback: Where the listener summarizes, clarifies, or asks questions. Getting ready to listen means becoming prepared psychologically. It is like thinking, OK, another person is taking a turn and I must get ready to listen. It is important in a group that every member finds a useful way to listen.
Making Connections
Your Listening Skills
Do you think you are a good listener? How do you think the information presented here will help you when you return to your daily routine?
Your answers may include: Not talking Taking notes Giving your full attention to the other person Turning off the TV or turning away from your computer
Why Dont People Listen?
Research has indicated some major reasons why people do not listen. Lets take a look at the problems and some possible solutions. The listener has decided in advance that the speaker or the subject will be uninteresting. This predisposes the listener to tune out. Instead, tell yourself you will make a real effort to learn something new during the conversation. The listener is distracted when someone is speaking. Choose an area without distractions. Refuse to be distracted. The listener didnt adjust to what the speaker was saying. For example, you were talking about the weather, but the topic has now shifted to what the speaker did on vacation. This requires some mental agility. You could ask the speaker to slow down and give you time to shift gears. The listener took too many notes. Rather than copy down every word, just note key points. The listener felt that what was being said was too difficult to understand so they tuned out. The listener should ask questions to clarify, or ask the speaker to illustrate the point. The speaker can also watch for non-verbal cues that the listener is getting confused and adapt their language to help communication. The listener got sidetracked by certain words or expressions the other person used. Lets say the speaker used the word refugee to refer to the people made homeless by Hurricane Katrina. You prefer the word victim. This may be important to you, but try not to raise this point until the speaker has had opportunity to complete their thoughts. The listener jumped in too soon to relate their own ideas or experience. Be patient. Listen. Give the other person their turn. Then present your ideas or experiences, if appropriate. The listener listened only for the facts and didnt pay attention to body language. This is all about increasing your awareness of those around you and how they are reacting emotionally to what is being said. Learn more about body language to help you. The listener was daydreaming. Self-discipline is required. Bring yourself back mentally by internally saying stop. Remember to make eye contact.
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Asking Questions
Get in the habit of asking good questions to clarify what has been said. We can do this by paraphrasing (Are you saying?) or by asking other questions such as, Do you mean? Other open questions that can gather more information include: What do you think we can do about this? What would you like me to stop doing? Would it be helpful if I? Supposing we were to? Help me understand where youre coming from. Lets set a time when we can talk about the changes were both prepared to make. Im prepared to Would that ease the situation?
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Session Four: Self-Disclosure

To develop your ability to speak to others without fear or panic, it is helpful to know your own personality. Part of being able to disclose information about ourselves to others is becoming self-aware of our own personalities. In this session, we introduce you to the Johari Windows concepts to explore the subject of self-disclosure, and self-representation among others.
What is Self-Disclosure?
Self-disclosure refers to the ability to appropriately reveal deeper and deeper levels of self to others. This skill is critical in the development of trust, and in developing your self-concept and your relationships with others. We earn trust as a trade-off for self-disclosure. Being visible, but not risking too much information too soon, promotes this type of trust. If no one knows you very well, you will not likely feel much of a connection to others. A sense of belonging is a deep need we all have to a greater or lesser degree. Self-disclosure, in order to be most effective, must be well-timed, not too deep, or too shallow. Disclosure includes the degree to which we are willing to be authentic with others, and share appropriate information about ourselves.
Becoming Self-Aware
Self-disclosure involves becoming more self-aware. There are two major ways of becoming more self-aware. The first involves listening to yourself in order to understand how you are reacting or feeling, and what is causing your reactions or feelings. When we discuss our fears, you are really being asked to be more aware of your own self-talk or self-esteem. We have a tendency to ignore our reactions to the world around us, but we can make our feelings and reactions more conscious if we work on this. The second way of becoming more aware is to request feedback from other people as to how they see you and how they are reacting to your behavior.
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The Johari Concepts
Joe Luft and Harry Ingraham developed the Johari Windows concept. This concept is a way of looking at our self-awareness and our ability to ask feedback of others. Known to Others Not Known to Others
Known to Oneself
Open 1
Partially Open 2
Not Known to Oneself
Partially Open 3
Hidden 4
The window illustrates their point that there are certain things you know about yourself and certain things that you dont know. Similarly, there are certain things others know about you (that you may or may not know) and there are certain things they dont know. They make the assumption that it takes energy to hide information from yourself and others, and that the more information is known, the better and clearer communication will be.
Building Relationships
Building a relationship often involves working to expand your open/free or known to self and others window, while decreasing your blind and hidden areas. As you become more self-disclosing, you reduce your hidden area, and give other people more information to react to, thus reducing your blind area. As you encourage others to be more self-disclosing with you, your blind area is further reduced. As you reduce your blind area you increase self-awareness and this helps you to be even more self-disclosing with others. The Johari Windows concept has been taken further in its application. The degree of trust and respect a person shows results in a style of human relations that has been characterized by a turtle, an owl, a bull in the china shop, and a picture window. The names of these styles of people and relationships are quite indicative of how they operate.
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A Turtle: Low Trust and Low Respect
This type of person is reluctant to express ideas or feelings to others, and equally reluctant to listen to others. Whether meaning to or not, the turtle communicates low trust in the motives of others and low respect for their opinions. The result is a large region of the unknown. Misunderstandings, frustration, untapped creativity, and unsolved problems lie in this region. People who have turtle relationships find them cold, impersonal, and unsatisfying. Just as partners may experience turtle relationships, so may whole groups. Turtle relationships may exist between work groups, between management and employees, or between an organization and its public. Such communities are characterized by low morale and poor performance. Turtle relationships can be improved if people are willing to listen to the ideas and feelings of others and are willing to openly express their own ideas and feelings. One can start this process, but it takes two to improve a turtle relationship. Someone must initiate and the other must respond.
An Owl: High Respect and Low Trust
The owl style of human relations is better than the turtle because respect is shown toward the opinions of others. The owl gives time and attention, thus showing concern for ideas and feelings. However, when someone listens but does not share ideas and feelings in return, a faade develops with two corresponding drawbacks: an impression of role playing and insincerity and the suppression of conflict, with a resulting decrease in creativity and problem-solving potential. The owl avoids self-expression and relies too much on listening. Ultimately this is not satisfying for either partner because the relationship is one-sided. The solution is to demonstrate trust in others by becoming more self-expressive. It takes two to improve an owl relationship. The owl gradually must become more open. This takes time, because change can be difficult to accept and dealing in honest selfexpression and confrontation can be threatening. As well, the owls partner must show respect by listening as ideas, hopes, goals, and feelings are shared.
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A Bull in the China Shop: High Trust and Low Respect
The bull in the china shop is, like the owl, one-dimensional. The good part is the bull is open and honest with feelings and ideas. Whether they are right or wrong, popular or not, you always know where bulls stand. By open self-expression the bull says, I trust you and believe you will not use what I say to hurt me. This is the good part. The bad part is the enormous blind spot the bull creates by not listening to others. Perhaps unintentionally, the bull is demonstrating that other peoples feelings and ideas are unimportant. Whether the bull in the china shop style develops as a result of ego striving, natural aggressiveness, or actual superiority, it is often destructive in human relationships. The blind spot typically contains negative datathe frustration, anger, and resentment of othersthat may one day erupt. Negative feelings could also be turned inward and result in low self-esteem for the bulls partner and friends. The solution is for the bull in a china shop to become a better listener. The bull must come to realize that others want to express themselves too. People who rarely ask for others opinions or listen to their problems have a bull in the china shop style of human relations and they have a large blind spot. By listening, they can reduce this blind spot and improve the quality of their relationships at work and at home.
A Picture Window: High Trust and High Respect
The most effective style of human relations is characterized by dialogue and it is symbolized by the picture window. With this style, people show mutual respect as each listens to the ideas and feelings of others, and they demonstrate interpersonal trust as ideas are shared openly and honestly. The region of the known is the dominant feature of picture window relationships. What goes on in this area is candid discussion and free-flowing ideas about issues, events, and experiences. By no means is dialogue tame. Indeed diverse points of view and values sometimes clash. Conflict is viewed positively, however, as all parties recognize that they are not identical twins, that disagreement is natural, and that out of diversity can come increased creativity and satisfaction. Picture window relations are characteristic of true feelings of community. They develop common ground between you and other members of the group.
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Making Connections
Who Are You?
The Johari windows give us an excellent perspective about the different types of people in this world. We all have unique characteristics and qualities that form our personality. Take a few moments to explain and summarize the concepts you have learned in this session about the Johari Windows.
Now, use the space below to explain how one of the Johari Windows is related to the characteristics of your personality, and experiences with others.
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Session Five: The Art of Conversation

How much information about yourself do you reveal to others? One way of overcoming your fears of speaking to others, is to identify your comfort level of sharing information about yourself. Becoming aware of your conversational tendencies might prompt you to make some changes. In this session, you will review the various levels and stages of conversation with another person, or a group. We recommend thinking of your own personal experiences as you read, to answer the Making Connections question.
The Four Levels

Getting comfortable conversing with others is one object of this exercise. Being comfortable speaking with others in small social settings can have a big impact on both your personal and your professional life. We are all more drawn to the person who looks at ease and confident than we are the person who looks ill-at-ease and awkward. At work, our first encounter with another person often begins with a handshake and a smile, while looking right at the other person. So, first, lets talk about eye contact. This is not staring at another person unblinkingly, but rather, looking at their face: eyes, nose, and mouth triangle.
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Level One: Small Talk (Exercise)

Small talk means a very superficial conversation about the weather, the traffic, current events, etc. While this may seem purposeless, it isnt. This is our chance to size up another person and decide whether you have something in common. You dont know the other person and you arent expected to reveal anything personal about yourself. Can you identify a list of ten things we might use to make small talk?
Level Two: Fact Disclosure

Should the small talk phase go well, we are ready to move onto the second level of communication with our conversational partner and reveal a few facts about ourselves: bits of information such as our occupation, our hobbies, or the types of activities we enjoy. Now that you are revealing a bit more about yourselves you may find more you have in common. There is give and take in this conversation as you ask and answer questions with your partner.
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Level Three: Viewpoints and Opinions

Generally people dont move to this stage until they feel comfortable with one another and believe they have found common ground when you disclosed facts in the second level. In this level you go beyond that to give your opinion of whatever it is youve been talking about. Examples: Skiing is an expensive hobby Your dream is to ski in Jasper You are counting the days to retirement You are hoping to move to another job soon You may even venture into such quagmires as politics or religion if you are feeling comfortable enough to do that. The general rule is low and slow, as in dont reveal too much too soon. You may want to commiserate about the high cost of sending a child to university today, but wait until you know the person better before you reveal that you took out a second mortgage to send your son/daughter to university.
Level Four: Personal Feelings

This usually doesnt come until you feel very comfortable with your conversational partner. The surest way to get here is to not reveal too much too soon. An example of too much too soon might be telling someone all the details of a messy divorce just five minutes into meeting them, or upon learning someone is of a different political party, launching into a condemnation of that party. A successful conversation starts at level one and proceeds at a comfortable pace through the second and third levels and continues to the fourth level, although usually not during your first meeting. With some people, you will find yourself moving easily through at least the first three stages, if not to stage four. It usually takes a lot of conversations with someone you feel very comfortable with before you progress to level four.
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Making Connections
A True Conversationalist
Are you a true conversationalist? Do you get nervous when you need to have a conversation with someone? Some people can speak easily to others; they have no problem keeping a smooth flow of dialogue. However, those who cringe with the thoughts of conversation often have a different point of view. Describe your experiences of speaking with others in conversation. What are your fears? What level of conversation are you most comfortable reaching? What reasons might you have to change this about yourself?
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Session Six: Practicing Dialogue

As you continue to learn more about the ways you can improve your public speaking with others, you may be uncovering characteristics and knowledge about yourself which you never realized before. In this session, we give you some brief ideas about dialogue with others. Taking an opportunity to become of aware of how you relate to others is important for your personal development as a public speaker.
Having Conversations
A conversation partner is often someone you dont know very well, or they could be someone you talk to everyday. A true conversationalist would make an attempt to begin with small talk, and stay on this level until they gained cues to continue the conversation in one direction or another. They can read the body language of another person, in order for the conversation to be a positive experience. As two individuals interacting through conversation, you both have the ability to initiate conversation and to find common interests and thoughts together. However, we mostly tend to stay at level two or perhaps level three. Remembering to use your active listening skills, and to ask questions can turn you into a true conversationalist. By practicing your conversation skills, you will gain confidence in your abilities to speak with others.
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Session Seven: Redesigning Yourself for Strength

Though you may have fears about speaking in front of others, they might not ever be aware of it! You can learn strategies to present yourself as someone who is a confident and skilled speaker. In this session, we discuss the factors that affect the way you present yourself to others when you speak publically, or engage in conversations.
Intonation
Intonation is the rise and fall of your voice. Which do you prefer, monotonous or melodious? Do your words come out pleasant and energetic or lifeless and wooden? Think in terms of friendliness and a desire to communicate with others.
Pitch
Pitch is the highness or lowness of the sound of our voice. We each have a natural pitch at which we speak and that may or may not be good. Most speakers talk on too high a pitch. A thin, high-pitched voice lacks authority and often sounds harsh and unpleasant. If your pitch is too high, speak carefully, enunciate words clearly, and work on consciously pitching your voice lower, a half-tone at a time.
Pacing
Do you trudge like a turtle or race like a rabbit? The rate at which we speak is closely associated with our personality. However, we can train ourselves to pause after a particularly dramatic statement, or after a question we want our audience to respond to. We can learn how to pick up the pace to create energy and to slow it down for heightened emphasis.
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Emphasis
Emphasis changes the meaning of our words. I was born in Boston. (You on the other hand were born somewhere else.) I was born in Boston! (How dare you suggest otherwise!) I was born in Boston. (I wasnt born nearby.) I was born in Boston. (I wasnt born in Sydney or London or Bangor.)
Facial Expressions
The face conveys more messages to a listener that does any other part of the body. Positive aspects include a smile, eye contact, relaxed facial muscles, and an alert expression. Negative aspects include rolling your eyes, frowning, glaring, smirking, or looking tense.
Stance
The way we stand conveys a lot about our level of confidence. A good posture (head up, shoulders back, both feet on the floor) says we are confident. Watch that you dont sway, rock, or pace when you are speaking to others.
Body Language
Positives Open body language Sweeping gestures Palms up Leaning forward Natural, smooth hand gestures
Negatives Tapping your fingers or feet Arms crossed Glancing at watch Leaning back Tense body
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Making Connections
Body Language
How do you know when someone is trying to tell you something, without actually speaking the words? Identify some ways we can take cues or gestures from others, even when we dont actually speak to, or hear one another.
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Using Your Voice

As a speaker, your voice is your most important tool. You need to make sure it is kept in top form. Practice these exercises and use them to help you develop a professional and competent sounding voice.
Vocal Exercise: Hyoid Limbering
The hyoid muscles connect the lower part of your jaw to the hyoid bone, which is at the top of your voice box, or larynx. These muscles help to control the movement of your vocal folds, and you use them all day for swallowing, chewing, and speaking. Like any muscles, they can become tense or fatigued, making your voice sound tight or higher pitched than you expect. But like any muscles, they respond to stretching and conditioning. Do the following exercise for about one minute, three to five times a day. Close your mouth; keep your jaw relaxed. Lower your chin toward your chest. Use your fingertips to gently push the hyoid muscles upward. Do not rub them or massage them from side to side. Stretch the area from directly under your chin to the end of your jawbone close to your ear.
Vocal Exercise: Hum
Humming will help you strengthen and control your vocal folds. Youll need about five minutes of uninterrupted time to complete this exercise. Make sure that you follow the steps in order, and repeat them three times throughout the day. Inhale, taking in your usual amount of air. Exhale slowly, saying the word hum at your normal volume. Exhale evenly to maintain the volume and quality of the hum. Take note of any extra notes with your hum such as a flutter sound if you relax the tension or lose control as you exhale. Repeat the humming and be sure to keep the extra notes out of your voice.
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Vocal Exercise: Sighing
This exercise will help you both relax and strengthen your voice. Follow the steps in the order given to reach maximum benefit. Allow yourself about five minutes of uninterrupted time, and repeat the steps three times throughout the day. Inhale, taking in your usual amount of air. Exhale slowly, sighing softly with the sound of the word sigh stretched out as s-i-g-h. Keep the volume level the same as you exhale; then, make it softer and softer as you exhale.
Vocal Exercise: The Diaphragmatic Breath
This exercise is crucial for increasing control of your vocal strength and quality. This is a type of breathing that is mastered by singers, musicians, dancers, and actors, and it is equally useful for speaking on the telephone. Set aside five minutes for this exercise, three times a day. Stand in front of a mirror or a partner so that you can see or get feedback on what you are doing. Place your fingers lightly on your diaphragm, just beneath your rib cage above your waistband. Feel the movement as you breathe. Inhale slowly through your nose or mouth, directing the air to your diaphragm. You will feel the diaphragm move forward; your shoulders and upper chest should not move at all. Hold the inhaled air for three seconds. Exhale slowly, counting to twenty by saying one one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand until you reach twenty one thousand. Stop when your exhale becomes a strain. If this is the first time youve tried this exercise, you probably wont reach twenty in one breath. Repeat the exercise three times a day until you can reach twenty comfortably.
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The Food and Exercise Factor
Exercising and warming up your voice are not the only factors that can affect how your voice sounds. Here are some dos and donts for maintaining a strong voice. Avoid using dairy products like milk, cheese, butter, chocolate, or ice cream when you are going on the phone. They coat the vocal folds and can distort the quality of your voice. They also often lead to congestion and the frequent need to clear your throat. Avoid beverages with caffeine like tea, coffee, hot chocolate, or soft drinks. They can contribute to tension in the vocal mechanism. Try room temperature water or even hot water (like the temperature you would have for tea, but without the tea), with or without a slice of lemon, to quench thirst and encourage good speaking skills. Avoid eating or drinking things that are either very hot or very cold. They can interfere with flexibility and clear speech. Avoid shouting, screaming, or straining your voice. These kinds of activities can damage the vocal folds and lead to loss of strength and clear speech. Sit or stand comfortably and straight when you speak on the phone. That is the best position to allow a clear flow of air and to permit good control and quality of your sound. Aerobic walking for 15 to 20 minutes up to three times a week helps to strengthen your voice and build muscle. Concentrate on breathing with your diaphragm for the first five minutes of your walk.
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Session Eight: Professionalism

It is not easy to define professionalism. Professionalism is a complicated mix of behavior, attitude, self-representation, and action. Those who demonstrate professionalism are able to subtly engage others around them without being pushy or rude. In this session, we review the qualities and characteristics of professionalismas it applies specifically to speaking with others in public.
Looking Professional (Exercise)
Dress the way you want to be perceived. Look like you care about what you are doing. Dress comfortably and be proud of who you are. Always appear as neat and clean as possible, with hair and fingernails that are clean and neatly trimmed, and shoes that are clean and polished. Look trim. Choose your clothes carefully. Be sure clothing fits properly. You wont feel good and you wont look good if your clothes are too tight. Dont appear too fashion conscious and dont spend a lot of money trying to keep up. Know the colors and styles that suit you, and stick to them. What are other characteristics you associate with professionalism?
Your answers might include: Respecting confidentiality Punctuality Good grammar
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Exercise: Creating Conversation
Where do you find topics of conversation that you can bring up at the next party or office get-together?
Where can you get some good conversational openers?
Wear a Smile
As important as what you say is how you say it. Wear a smile. It is always becoming to your voice. Dont attempt to make a derogatory remark under the guise of humor, and dont try to shock. Lengthy emotional debates will not contribute to the gathering. Death, politics, religion, illness, and children usually head the list of subjects to be avoided, but there are exceptions to every rule.
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No matter how hard you try, not all conversations can be made into engaging discussions. Eventually even good conversations may come to an end. Tell the other person how much you have enjoyed speaking with them, and go on to meet other people. If you go to meetings and gatherings alone, and you find yourself alone after you get there, look for others who look similarly disengaged, join a group with an odd number of people, pass the cheese tray, or sample the buffet table.
Making Connections
Hosting an Event
It is useful to be prepared for situations when you might feel uncomfortable speaking publically. Develop some personal tips for the next time you feel awkward at an event. You will focus on other people and less on yourself, thereby alleviating your discomfort. Think of some ways to relax yourself and be prepared if you were hosting an event.
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Speaking Professionally
When you need to speak in a professional manner, check yourself with these pointers: Volume: Too loud or too soft? Clichs: We all use a few clichs but avoid them if possible. Grammar: Ask someone you trust, whose grammar is good, to give you some feedback on your grammatical errors. Diction: Pronounce words clearly, and watch that you arent dropping your ings. Slang or vulgarities: No swearing or crude words. Gender references: Watch that you dont refer to all people in authority as he or all those in service positions as she. Acronyms and jargon: If you must use words that are familiar terms to you but which will not be understood by others in the audience, either substitute more familiar words or explain the terms. Tact is diplomacy of the heart. This means saying the right thing at the right time, but also leaving the wrong thing unsaid. When asked to explain his popularity with Queen Victoria, Benjamin Disraeli said, I never deny. I never contradict. I sometimes forget. As a wise man once said, It is better to leave the sins of others alone until youve made some headway on your own.
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Session Nine: Maximizing Meetings

Probably one of the most common settings for professionals to speak publically with one another is at meetings. Meetings can be a time of great progress and an opportunity to build positivity within your team. However, meetings can also be a waste of time, or a negative communication experience. In this session, we describe techniques for maximizing your opportunities for successful meetings. We believe that preparation and anticipation are the key ingredients.
Four Areas of Opportunity

Meetings are a central part of communication and cooperation within any organization. Dont think of them as drudgery. Recognize them as opportunities to develop skills and develop your reputation, as well as a chance to stay on top of essential organizational information. Anticipate. If you receive an agenda ahead of time, take a few minutes to look it over. If you see areas where you may have an opportunity to take the lead or to provide information to others, use that opportunity. Prepare. Do your homework. If you plan to speak on an issue, know what you are talking about. Keep your comments positive and speak with enthusiasm. The direct, relaxed approach works best. Get quickly to your point and stay with it. Busy people have little patience with more than they want to know. However, clarity and conciseness takes preparation. Participate. When should you speak up? When you know you can clarify a point When you can supplement pertinent information or furnish convincing statistics When you can correct an error When you wish to ask a question When you can give credit thats due When you have a good idea or an original suggestion When someone else has taken your idea and presents it as their own Attitude Adjustment. As Viktor Frankl, a man who survived Nazi concentration camps, has written, One has the ability to choose ones attitudes.
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Making Connections
Fifteen Ways to Master a Meeting
List some ideas for ensuring that each method can be done effectively. Method Know everybodys name. Suggestions
Know what everybody does so you wont step on anybodys toes. Be careful about personal comments.
Dont create subconscious barriers to communication. Sit erect and square your shoulders. Look alert and lean forward slightly. Discuss but dont argue.
The head of the table is the power perch. The three other important positions are those to the right or left of the power perch, and, unless it is too far away, the position directly opposite. Another good position is a corner position, because you can make eye contact with more people. If you are seated and an important person enters the room, stand up to shake hands. A woman should rise to her feet as readily as any man.
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Method If you are holding the meeting, reserve the most impressive, appropriately appointed conference room, when the meeting warrants it. If it is your meeting, lead it!
Suggestions
If it is your meeting, have an agenda and let people know why they are attending the meeting. Start and end on time.
If it is someone elses meeting, take responsibility and participate. Demonstrate high energy and involvement.
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Suggested Methods for Meeting Mastery
Here are our ideas for ensuring the method is used effectively. Method Know everybodys name. Know what everybody does so you wont step on anybodys toes. Suggestions Get the names ahead of time. Draw a little diagram and mark in everybody and their name. Introduce yourself when the opportunity arises. Get everyones business card. Ask! Look at their business card. Find out ahead of time. Just dont make them! Be especially careful if you are in the habit of folding your arms across your chest. Ask someone to monitor your body language and then make a real effort to get rid of negative body mannerisms. Ask somebody you trust to monitor your body language when you are sitting and to give you feedback. Be aware of your body language and work at keeping a pleasant expression on your face. Learn the difference. Practice expressing your opinions calmly, with a pleasant expression on your face. Practice phrases like, Another way we could look at this is or, I see your point but have you thought about If you are free to choose any position around the table you wish, try one of these positions and see if it makes a difference in how you feel.
Be careful about personal comments. Dont create subconscious barriers to communication.
Sit erect and square your shoulders. Look alert and lean forward slightly.
Discuss but dont argue.
The head of the table is the power perch. The three other important positions are those to the right or left of the power perch, and, unless it is too far away, the position directly opposite.
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Method Another good position is a corner position, because you can make eye contact with more people. If you are seated and an important person enters the room, stand up to shake hands. A woman should rise to her feet as readily as any man. If you are holding the meeting, reserve the most impressive, appropriately appointed conference room, when the meeting warrants it. If it is your meeting, lead it! If it is your meeting, have an agenda and let people know why they are attending the meeting. Start and end on time.
Suggestions If you are free to choose any position around the table you wish, try one of these positions and see if it makes a difference in how you feel. Just remember to do this.
This will add status to your meeting. Identify times when this would be warranted.
Learn the role of a chair and fulfill that role to the best of your ability. Send the agenda around ahead of time, with a clear purpose of why the meeting has been called. This is your responsibility as chair. Figure out how much time you have and how much time each agenda item should take. Stick to this timeframe. If people dont show up on time, start the meeting anyway. This sends the message that your meetings will start on time. Come prepared as weve discussed. Read your agenda. Write out your notes or get your background information together. A high energy level is contagious and a valued quality in a team player. Dont be distracted. Listen to what others around the table are saying and participate when appropriate. Say what you want to say and no more.
If it is someone elses meeting, take responsibility and participate.
Demonstrate high energy and involvement.
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Session Ten: Sticky Situations

Avoiding situations that we find uncomfortable is a way of managing our fears of speaking publically. However, we cant always control what the outcome of an encounter with someone else will be. In this session, we ask you a series of questions to provoke you to think of your own strategies for dealing with sticky situations.
Making Connections
A Dreadful Situation
Describe a type of situation you dread.
What have you done in the past to resolve it?
What are some options you might use in the future?
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Other Peoples Dread
Other people are often just as uptight as we are about sticky situations. How can we put others at ease? Dont shine a spotlight on them. Reassure them you are on their side. Get them talking about themselves. Dont criticize. Find good things to say.
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Session Eleven: Controlling Nervousness

Unfortunately, some people fear speaking in front of others so much, that their level of anxiety becomes too overwhelming. Perhaps you have experienced intense anxiety related to public speaking, or some other fearful situation. In this session, we provide you with information about controlling nervousness when you are speaking publically.
Controlling Physical Nervousness
How do you control your body when you are nervous? Smile. Look friendly and confident even if you dont feel that way. Take deep breaths that can get oxygen into your brain. Pretend. There is never a better time to put on a false face of optimism and confidence. Expect to do well. Give yourself lots of positive feedback. Remember a time when you did well. Keep thinking of that time.
Controlling Mental Nervousness
V.H. Vroom developed his Expectancy Theory in the 1960s. Although it has been slightly modified through the years, his theory, in its simplest form, is still valid today. We generally get what we expect. Positive expectations are the single most outwardly identifiable characteristic that all winning personalities demonstrate. Much of our personal self-expectancy can be discovered if we listen to our self-talk, the inner conversations we have with ourselves, those little voices in our head. A winners self-talk might be, I did well today. Ill do even better tomorrow. A losers self-talk is more apt to be, With my luck, I was bound to fail.
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Making Connections
The Jitters
How do you react when you have to speak publically, either in front of a group, with a stranger, or with a co-worker? Do you find it easier to express yourself through other methods of communication? In a 2-3 paragraph answer, talk about your communication personality, and your experiences getting the jitters. Make reference to the lessons you have been taught in this course.
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Session Twelve: Tell Me a Story

As we have discussed, preparing for speaking publically is the best possible way to control your fears, and be good communicator. These skills can be practiced, and over time you will notice a difference in your abilities. In this session, we provide you with an opportunity to prepare for your next fearful public speaking experience. You can refer to this writing as you begin to feel the anxieties of speaking publically.
Making Connections
Be Prepared
Prepare a short two minute talk on some incident in your life that taught you a lesson. Make this talk about something you remember well, so you only need to jot down a few notes and then think of yourself as someone at a party talking about this incident to your friends.
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Session Thirteen: A Personal Action Plan
You have completed this course on speaking in public, how will you use the things you have learned in the future? You must now create a plan for implementing your newly acquired skills in your workplace, as well as in your personal life. In this session you will be asked questions to help you plan your short-term and longterm goals. By reflecting on where you currently are and where you want to be, you can solidify, in your mind, what you want your future to hold.
Starting Point
I know where Im starting from. I know I am already good at these things, and I can do them more often:
I can learn this, I am learning this, and I am doing what I can at this stage as well. I have already learned:
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Short-Term Goals and Rewards

I will start with small steps, especially in areas that are difficult for me. My shortterm goals for improvement are:
I promise to congratulate and reward myself every time I do something, no matter how small, to maintain and improve my skills. My rewards will be:
Long-Term Goals
Im setting myself up for success by choosing long-range goals to work for gradually. My long-term goals for success are as follows:
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Summary
Congratulations! You have completed the course Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public. We have included a variety of topics and subjects related to becoming better at speaking in public, and communicating with others. You have had the opportunity to reflect on your personal abilities and skills as a conversationalist, as well as develop your selfawareness of your speaking insecurities. You were introduced to the Johari Windows concepts, and you also were given important information about maximizing your meetings. All the information we have presented to you in this course will be helpful to you as you return to your personal and professional life.
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Recommended Reading List

If you are looking for further information on this subject, a recommended reading list is included below. Boothman, Nicholas. How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less. Workman Publishing Company, 2000. Carnegie, Dale. How to Develop Self-Confidence And Influence People By Public Speaking. Pocket Books, 1991. . How to Win Friends and Influence People. Pocket Books, 1998 (Reprint). . The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking. Pocket Books, 1962. Laskowski, Lenny, and Princeton Language Institute. 10 Days to More Confident Public Speaking. Grand Central Publishing, 2001. Osborn, Michael, Randall Osborn, and Susan Osborn. Public Speaking (8th Edition). Allyn & Bacon, 2008. Stevenson, Doug. Never Be Boring Again. Cornelia Press, 2003. Walters, Lilly. Secrets of Successful Speakers. McGraw-Hill, 1993.

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

2005-2010, Velsoft Training Materials Inc.

2005-2010, Velsoft Training Materials Inc.

How to Use This Guide

2005-2010, Velsoft Training Materials Inc.

2005-2010, Velsoft Training Materials Inc.

Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

Session One: Course Overview

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

How do we get to be better communicators?

2005-2010, Velsoft Training Materials Inc.

Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

Session Two: Good Communication Skills

Exercise: Defining Communication

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

Making Powerful Presentations

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

Session Three: Interpersonal Skills

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

Three Steps to Active Listening

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

Why Dont People Listen?

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

Session Four: Self-Disclosure

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

The Johari Concepts

Not Known to Oneself

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

A Turtle: Low Trust and Low Respect

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

A Bull in the China Shop: High Trust and Low Respect

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

Session Five: The Art of Conversation

The Four Levels

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

Level One: Small Talk (Exercise)

Level Two: Fact Disclosure

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Conquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

Level Three: Viewpoints and Opinions

Level Four: Personal Feelings