Stress Reduction, Self Improvement & A Joyous Life STRESS Defined Some signs of stress are: worry, poor

r judgment, negativity, mood swings, irritab ility, loneliness, depression, anger, physical pains, eating disorders, procrast ination, too much or too little sleep, anti-social behavior, addictions to: alco hol, tobacco and drugs, etc. These symptoms can be caused by pain of all kinds, the feeling of being powerles s, inadequate freedom, abuse, failure, conflict, divorce, being a care-giver, th e death of a loved one and poor health issues. By saying No more. to some stressful situations, getting involved in enjoyable act ivities and situations and living your passion you can lessen and even eliminate the stress. STRESS Understood The stress process proceeds from ego-based fears as follows: Thoughts lead to perceptions. Perceptions lead to judgments. Judgments lead to criticism(of self and others). Criticism leads to disappointment. Disappointment leads to anger. Anger can lead to depression. Depression can lead to violenceand self-destruction. In adulthood, this process is self-created. Creating and living this scenario co mes from not knowing who you truly are, which means youre probably not living the life you were meant to live. That life focuses on and allows the blossoming of the gifts and talents you were born with. You are programmed for success. The only control you have is over yourself. So, when you can imagine a new, impr oved, happier life, you can begin to live it. You have to believe in your abilit y to change for the better. Change is the operant force in our 3-D, physical wor ld of duality. Everything you need to awaken from an unhappy existence to one of peace, love and joy has been in you from birth. To be found, you have to get lost. This completes the cycle of forgetting and re membering. Baggage is the training wheels on your first two-wheeler. When you un derstand the process, you can eliminate the stress and pursue the life you want. But, first you have to examine your situation to really get to know yourself. As Aristotle said: The unexamined life is not worth living. By studying yourself, the influence of desire and attachment on your life, the repeated bad choices th at resulted can be understood. If you suffer from low self-esteem, say No more. to it. As Eleanore Roosevelt said: No one can lower your self-esteem without youre a pproval. What should you do when you find yourself in a hole? Stop digging! Stop the old be haviors. Stop letting your past and future rob you of your present (what we give to ourselvesa present). As Ben Franklin said: One today is worth two tomorrows. To know real, lasting peace you have to find your true self. As Ralph Waldo Eme rson said: To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you someth ing else is the greatest accomplishment. You can, and must, take charge of your o wn life. My Six-Step Path is designed to help you do this.

TWO WOLVES One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson of a battle that goes o n inside people. He said: My son, the battle is between two wolves inside all of us. One is evil. It is anger, jealousy, regret, sorrow, self-pity, greed, arroga nce, guilt, resentment, lies, inferiority, false pride, superiority and ego. The other is good. It is love, hope, peace, joy, serenity, kindness, humility, fait h, empathy, benevolence, generosity and compassion. The grandson thought about th is and then asked his grandfather: Which wolf wins? the old Cherokee replied: The o ne you feed. Some of lifes events are within your control, some are not. So, your thoughts and attitude are of vital importance here. Accepting what is beyond your control is wise. Refusing to change what is within your control is not wise. In fact, it i s irresponsible. Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back. old Chinese prove rb. Everything that has happened in your life, whether from you or to you, has led t o the you here now. If these problems and obstacles (opportunities) that are cal led baggage have helped you lose yourself, thats as it should beYou cant be found u ntil youve been lost. Again, the good news is that you are programmed for success. Everything you need to turn your life around is in you nowhas been in you since birth. All you need is a guide. My Six-Step Path is that guide. It will help you to cope with disappoi ntment, eliminate stress, trust your intuition, flow with change and find and li ve your passion. These changes will help you become the best you you can be. Albert Einstein said: God does not shoot dice. In other words; life is not random. Our life here on Earth has a purpose and that purpose is a spiritual (not relig ious) one It is conscious union with our source. When we align our wishes and ac tions with our source, life flows effortlessly. When we do notWhen we try to be i n charge of external events, we suffer stress. Due to free will, the choice is our s. We can even choose not to have choicesWe can choose to be a victim. Were all aware of people who seem to have it all usually celebrities; who have lo oks, youth, talent, money, power, influence, connections and more. Yet, they can shock us when we learn that this or that celebrity is regularly stressed out, a ddicted to drugs or alcohol or, in the extreme, commits suicide. They do these t hings because no matter how much they have going for them, if they havent opened the do or to something greater than themselves, they will never know true, lasting pea ce. In the East, it is understood that when your first grandchild is born you will b egin the search for your spiritual (not religious) roots. This may be something as mild as reading some books on the subject or as extreme as entering a monaste ry. We, in the West, do not have this tradition. We are expected to be good children, siblings, students, friends, marriage partn ers, parents, upstanding members of our community and then, retire to a life of leisure, sports, hobbies and not much else. We can, however, choose to open the door to our nonphysical connections. It costs us nothing except our egos. Before enlightenment you chop your wood and carry your water. After enlightenment , you chop your wood and carry your water. Your likes and dislikes, favorite acti vities, foods, etc. will remain the same. Only your outlook changes. While external successes of all kinds are short-lived and transient, success in the spiritual realm is fulfilling and long-lasting. You are entitled to a life o f peace, love and joy. It is your birthright. The choice on where to direct your

energies is yours. As Abe Lincoln said: Most people are about as happy as theyve made up their minds to be. Universal truths are simple. We (sentient beings) are complex. Aldous Huxley, at age 89, said that the key to wisdom and happiness is to: Be Kinder. Gandhi laid t he responsibility for our world on our shoulders when he said: Become the change you wish to see in the world. As you give, so you shall get. The degree to which you love yourself is the degree to which you can love others. The degree to whic h you judge yourself is the degree to which you judge others. Get lost in your begins at home, ungry, eat. When s as you do your own life, 100% in the now, from moment to moment, 24/7. Charity so treat yourself lovingly and kindly..we bruise easily. When h tired, sleep. When sitting, just sit. Learn to accept your goodbye hellos. Welcome your life as it presents itself.

TWO MONKS were walking and came upon a swift-moving stream. A lovely young woman was standing by the stream, crying. Why are you crying? as the elder of the two mo nks. Because I cant cross the streamI cant swim and dont want to get my clothes wet. take you across the stream. said the elder monks, scooping her up into his arms. After he put her safely down on the other side of the stream, she went one way and the two monks went another. After several hours, the younger monk could cont ain himself no longer, and said: How could you pick up that woman? Dont you know t hat monks are not allowed to touch women? Are you still carrying that woman? I put her down hours ago. Learn to live your life 100% in the now and 0% attached to the results. Be the b est you you can bethe you you were meant to be. Be involved in your life, as it i s happening, from moment to moment. When it comes to stress from others family, friends, etc., dont force your advice on them uninvited or you will be meddling. Dont help others behave badly or you will be enabling themwhich is a lose/lose situation. The only person you have con trol over is yourself. Never try to teach a pig to sing. It only wastes your tim e and aggravates the pig. Relationships Above allBe kinderKinder and gentler. When youre in agreement then be in sync. When you disagree, then disagree. No anger. No nastiness. No attacking. And, dont exp ect to always be in syncDont demand to be in sync. Be truthful (to your own self) and honest about where you are to your partner. This is not a competition so dont make it one. Dont make it a case of winners and losers. Allow difference of opin ion to have its day in court. Let love be your weapon of choiceunconditional love no judgments, only tenderness and respect. Be a them with breathing room. Believe in your (and others) ability to change for the better. And, be patient. A ll things pass. Never forget: Youre programmed for success. Believe in yourself and in goodness. There is much in this world to fear and loath. But, there is so much more to lov e and be grateful for. Accept your goodbyes as you do your hellos. Allow for and encourage growthself and others. Cherish and learn from your past and be inspired by your plans for the future b ut live in the present 100% involved in your life and 0% attached to results. Al low others to do the same. Dont fight change, in yourself or others. Youre only ha lf of a relationship so theres no need to thank or blame. Just be the best you yo u can be at the time. No anger. Just unconditional love, patience and kindness. This will make you part of the solutionnot part of the problem.

Stress Eliminated This brings us to your guide, my Six-Step Path -Step 1. Observe yourself without judgmen t Step Step Step Step Step 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Forgive yourself and others. Accept what you observe. Love yourself unconditionally. Awaken from your dream. Celebrate life forever.

As Siddartha and many others and others have made clear for the past 2,500 years Life is suffering. Fortunately, he and others offer ways to transcend this suffering. The way is meditation. The form of meditation I endorse is informal It is your daily lifeas it is. At first, the Six-Step Path may seem simplistic. Actually, it is we are complex. Socrates was so right when he saidThe unexamined life is not worth living. My Six-Step Path begins with Observationnot just any observation. This most important of all six steps is non-judgmental observation. With non-judgmental observation you witness your own behavior with all its flaws and weaknesses that all humans possess. For example, when you get angry, observe that anger. Focus your attention on it. Dont judge it as either justified or wrong or any other qualifier. Simply see it as a behavior of you, a human being. The more intense and often you focus your attention on your behaviorall your behaviors, without judgment, the more you will see these behaviors begin to wane. The more you see the less they will be. As you get more familiar with your true, imperfect self, you will become, little-by-little, more forgiving of your real self. This brings us to the second step in the Six-Step PathThat of Forgiveness. The degree to which you judge yourself is the degree to which you judge others. As you begin to lighten up and be more forgiving of yourselfyour own flaws and weaknesses, your judgment of others will also become less frequent and less harsh. In time, this forgiveness of your self and others leads to step three of the Six-Step PathAcceptance. Once you can observe without judgment and forgive imperfecttions you naturally adopt an attitude of acceptance. To forgive and accept what you observe, in yourself and others, is the beginning of true spiritualityand, ultimately, enlightenment. Living a non-judgmental life of observation, forgiveness and acceptance brings you to the fourth step in the Six-Step PathLove. Unconditional love; love without conditions; for your self and others. This is the true, and only, love that comes from our source, through us, to all life. This love IS our source (and us). At this point you are in sync with your sourceno longer trying to control the world, just letting it be. In Zen this is life as it is. Living in this manner you will surly Awaken from your dream

your dream of separation from your source into a separate, egocentered identity. Your awakening; also called: satori, enlightenment, epiphany, etc. is two-foldFirst you know, down to your bones, that you are part of something greater than yourself. Next, you realize that you ARE that thing greater than yourself. When this happens, you cant help but want to Celebrate every moment of life for the miracle it is. The way to express this understanding is to serve others; for they are youAll life is one. Celebrate life forever. As you progress (imagined) from being a fear-based, ego-centric part of the universal problem, you become an accepting, loving, part of the solution. Your self in search of itself has found itself in six steps. You are now back where you started but with the understanding of what it means to bewhere you arein the now.