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Hell isnt a kind place, young lady. I know. She answered. It isnt possible to return to heaven once youve left. Sakura turned and took a long lingering, contemplative look at the majestic citadel behind the gates. Then she looked at the old man in the eyes, a sad smile adorning her face. This isnt heaven. A light breeze caressed her skin as she turned away from what shouldve been her home, her flimsy white gown fluttering as she took a single step forward. She was falling.

Stillborn Sighs
kiss.

Those lovely red rockets had found him and were swooping in for a last, fatal

Sasuke sprinted forward, felt the muddy rumble collapse and twist under his left leg. There was a sudden, sick jerk of the bone shifting, the broken pieces grinding together, and then a splitting ache shot like acid up his skin, spiking. He swore, toppling to the ground, as the machine gun slammed lung-crushingly into his chest, winding him. Sasuke coughed and spat red, struggled onto his elbows and shoved himself inelegantly forward, while clawing desperately at the rim and tumbling, adrenaline throbbing against the back of his eyes, into the shelter-hole. Around him, the battleground exploded, acid rain and dirt and wicked rusts of metal tearing across his body. His leg was bursting with a bomb of its own, and pain was the color of absolute black. He fell into it, shaking. *** Someone tapped his shoulder hesitantly. Sasuke stirred, peeled back his eyes, and tried to blink away the blindness. She came carefully into focus, features lovingly familiar, her eyes carrying all the home he needed. Oh, good. Sakura sighed shakily. There were dirty crescent moons under her fingernails. She touched his forehead with her lips, leaving a lipstick mark in blood. He

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shifted slightly, trying to shake off the grey skies and the heavy gun Sakura had strapped to her back, just over her nurses uniform. This is your nineteenth, Sasuke. He could feel her smile against his skin. Just one more to go. Just one more run, and youll be safe. Youll be an officer. Tch, he managed the harsh noise, licking his lips twice. Ragged black crows were circling the sky. He ignored the hand she offered him, though she forced it on him anyways, carefully helping him sit up. His head spun, green blooming in front of his vision.

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Here. Sakura fumbled awkwardly at her waist, then pushed the cool aluminum lid to his lips, precious, clear water filling his mouth deliciously. He used to drink water like this when he was a child. But then, it had still rained back then. There had still been oceans. Can you stand? Sakura asked. Sasuke nodded slowly, and then pushed the canteen back into her pale hands while hearing the water slosh around inside, shoving down his own selfish longing. Dont waste that stuff, he berated, and struggled to his feet. His leg, which had throbbed quietly, suddenly screamed harshly, the agony raw and ripping. He gasped and sworedizziness returning. Oh Sakura grabbed him again, bracing him with difficulty until the attack abated. She glanced down at his leg shrewdly. Dont step on it. Ill check that out when we get back to base. Not home. Never home. *** Youve broken your leg, she told him. Sasuke frowned, worry lines accentuated and sharp against his young face. He couldnt have been older than twenty. How long will it take to heal? he asked clinically. His eyes tracked her lithe fingers as they tucked fine pink strands behind her left ear. She made a soft, irritable noise. Too long, probably. Six weeks, Id say. He agreed. Too long. His hands were quiet on his lap, but he couldnt tear his eyes from her hair. Pink. How the hell had she managed to make it into the army without shaving it off? She came to the edge of his bed; curling her arm around his waist and helping him stand on his good foot, the other dangling gruesomely awkward at the ankle. He leaned carefully away, aware of how fragile her shoulders felt. So, what do you want to do? Sakura asked, bright green eyes trained steadily on his own. I can amputate it, if you want. You wont get an infection, but itll be hell to walk on, and can potentially take even longer. No, Sasuke said immediately. He tried to picture himself with a stump of a leg, swinging furiously for balance as he hopped. Thought so, Sakura replied knowingly. She steered him to a low counter, backed against the edge of the flimsy medics tent, bottoms wavering. Outside the gritty orange cloth, the carefully cheerful chatter of the camp swelled, sharp voices spiking above their murmured partners.

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Sasuke hissed softly, his own pride pushing away his delicate human crutch and doggedly struggling to sit on the counter. She tilted her head to the side, watching, very small under her uniform. If I was a good doctor, Id tell you to keep off that foot and let your crutches do the work. She pushed back her hair and smiled wryly. But that would be stupid, wouldnt it? Just do what you have to, Sasuke ordered curtly. His nerves felt like someone was methodically peeling them apart and playing a voodoo tune on them. She let out a breath, I can brace it. Its not going to get any better, though, if you put any pressure on it. So try to lay off the field action, if you can. If you run on it, its going to hurt like hell, but Ill make sure it wont get any worse. Thank you, Sasuke managed, and gritted his teeth. Everyone knew they had run out of painkillers two months ago. *** He managed to make it back to the campsite in an hour, leaning on a crutch intended for a man several inches shorter than him. Sakura followed him fretfully. He set his teeth. Youre allowed to sleep, you know. Im not going to keel over and die if you shut your eyes. She glanced up at him from under her eyelashes. Pink. She had abandoned make-up a while ago. War had proven to be less glamorous than she had imagined. You do an awfully good job of trying to. A couple of men who hunkered down around a camp fire snickered. Sasuke scowled at them, but they paid him no mind. The medals clinked against one another on his chest; tarnished, picked clean from the corpses of their previous owners. Nineteen of them. Just one more to go. Im registering for the battle tomorrow, he said suddenly. Her arm arrested him, cold gaze freezing him in place. them. Sometimes he imagined that he was in love with Sakura. This was not one of

Dont you dare, she said quietly, Give it a week, Sasuke. You can afford to be out of it for a week. He could hear his teeth begin to grind. The men had stopped laughing, either because of the tone shift, or because they were out of range for eavesdropping. The crutch plunged into a shallow trench left by a previous attack, and he very nearly fell, the injured ankle snapping as he bumped it. He bit his lip, gnawing under the permanent scab there.

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I want to go home, he said quietly, I just want to be promoted so I can leave. My time will be up. We can get out of here. Sakuras lips pressed together, sharp enough to cut his fingers on. She wore her anger cold. Every time you go out there, she said softly, I wonder if this is the time you wont come back. Dont do this, Sasuke. Not tomorrow. Please. He had never been infatuated with her. There had never been the puppy adoration, the excited thrill he got from being near her, the rush of dazed confusion, hormonal over dosage. But there was still something there. He took her hand and didnt say anything. He knew she wouldnt drop it, half expected her to anyways. She didnt. But her grip was bone-shatteringly desperate. *** one. He opened his eyes to an angel for the second time that day. It was the same

In the moonlight, the tips of her hair turned silver. Her head was bowed, eyes clenched shut. He watched how the light curved white and burning over her shoulder, bleaching her into a portrait. She looked eerily beautifuldrowned and blue in her wedding dress. She was whispering, soft hisses slipping inaudibly together. The sheets pooled into harsh lines around her waist, cold shadows dripping from her shoulder blades. He sat up carefully, and reached across the space between them, her skin cool, veins warm. His hand cradled the back of her neck, and he drew her back towards him. He imagined the broken wings, hanging ruined from her shoulders. Her shoulder blades were bare of the things he had imagined, but the imagination insisted. She glanced at him over her shoulder, the skin in her neck stretched and crinkling. He mouthed the word, reluctant to ruin the secret silence. What? She raised her voice, just slightly. The enemy fire will not harm Sasuke Uchiha. The enemy fire will not harm Sasuke Uchiha. The enemy fire will not harm Sasuke Uchiha. The

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enemy fire will not harm Sakura Haruno, he interrupted. Her eyes widened solemnly. He had the nagging sense that he had said something right. He plunged past it. What, are you religious suddenly? She gleamed. If you say something enough times, then maybe itll come true. He didnt know what to say to something as blindly stupid as that. His chest felt warm as he lay back down, warm enough that his leg faded into the background. She came to rest beside him, two people on a cot designed for less than one. Just before she drifted off, her mouth found his own, and he could taste that strange, clear thing on her lips. When her eyes closed, he repeated it into her hair. The enemy fire will not harm Sasuke Uchiha. So close. They were so close to going home. He just needed to survive this one last mission. *** She had not been lying about his leg. He couldnt have gotten more than three paces before he crumpled, gasping, and kept forwards from then on by a steady crawl. The flash was all he saw before the ground ripped up inches from his right arm. Sasuke slammed off to the side, millimeters faster than the machine gun bullets, and he felt one of them tear through the webbing between his thumb and index finger, but only a nick. Then he was safely curled behind a small mountain of his own friends, and he came out again, pushing off with his bad leg and even if he couldnt see, he was shooting, he was shooting, he was He kept with the killing, even after the enemy soldier was dead. The bullets ran out. Sasuke dropped back down, his breath shaking but hands steady as he wrestled a new gun from a dead man. Just another mile to go. Just another mile. He got to his knees and started crawling. *** His knees were bleeding sluggishly around the gravel embedded in them. He set his teeth and kept going, eyes stinging. He did not want to shut them. He would not die now. He could not die now. He had promised her. He had promised her on day one, told that red-eyed slip of an underage girl that he was going to make ittold her that if he could survive once, he could do it again. Nineteen times. He had to do it for both of them.

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Her hands had been shaking, clamped white-knuckled over her gun. He had to pry it from her, gotten her into a medics uniform, gotten her safe. She would never have to kill anyone again. But the five percent of people she wasnt able to savethat five percent was destroying her. Death didnt become Sakura, he realized, and so he kept coming forward stubbornly, breath ragged. He was so close. So close. He was going to go home. He was going to go home. The enemy fire will not harm Sasuke Uchiha, he muttered, as he played the weary sniper and kept going through the underbrush. Of course, he had to make sure he wasnt going to bleed to death first. He was going to go home. He supposed that she would just have to come with him. This was one of those times he supposed he was in love with her. It was easier to admit when she wasnt around. From the corner of his eye, a red flag fluttered proudly in the breeze. Panting, Sasuke struggled upright and lurched towards it, something like joy, or maybe just relief flooding his chest. Here was the sweet escape. He crossed the finish line. The war was over for him. Over head, the clouds that never rained stirred, and he tilted his head towards them from his cradle of security. That was what the war was about, the bloody clouds and the fantasy of rain. He supposed they were fighting for the right to live. He could almost taste the water Sakura had given him. He limped to the nearest officer, and held out his hand. Number twenty. Ah, the man said calmly, and held out his hand for a shake. Going home? Yeah, Sasuke said. He had to work to keep the grin from his face. Im taking someone with me. Hmm, said the man, a little crease of displeasure taking down his brows. But rules were rulesand considering that for every field mission you went on, you had a fifty percent chance of dying, no one would argue against their rights to leave. what? Its a nurse, Sasuke spoke quickly, from base 7. Youll be wiring them

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like pity.

The mans face had abruptly slackened, old eyes cloudy with age and something

Base 7? he repeated slowly. Sasuke nodded jerkily, a quiet horror already growing inside of him. It was justit just got hit, the officer said quietly. The whole place is just a cigarette scar on the map, kid. After a moment, he clapped Sasukes arm as if in apology. Sasukes head was full of white noise, as everything carefully faded into the distanceall of it held carefully apart from that unmanageable reality. The medals fell from Sasukes hand, clinking together like they were weeping. So the officer prompted the suddenly hollow young man, Wherere we sending you? Sasuke continued to stare off into space, as though he hadnt heard the question. Finally, he turned. What? Wheres your home? The officer sighed. Sasuke shook his head slightly, turned silently, his medals glinting abandoned in the dirt, a perfect twenty. Gone. *** He waited for two days for her to miraculously surviveand then went in to identify her body. His shoulders twitched, dog tags clattering. That was her. That was Sakura, cold and dead, her wings ripped off for the autopsy, still on the table. When he stepped outside, people were screaming. It took him a second to realize that it wasnt out of fear It was raining. Sasuke tilted his face back up to the sky that was finally merciful, water peppering his face with tears. He licked his lipsand suddenly realized what Sakuras kisses had tasted like. Quietly, he broke. *** It is easy to become a war hero when you arent afraid of dying. *** Sometimes the reporters came to him, shoving microphones underneath their saviors nose and jabbering in high, fluttering voices, Do you ever have trouble sleeping at night?

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No. Do you know what youll do in the future? No. Do you have any war buddies you keep in touch with? No. Are you happy, Mr. Uchiha? Now that all of this is over? steady. Sasuke hesitated a second too long, then looked straight at the camera, his voice Yes. Im very happy. If you say something enough times, it might come true. *** It almost never stopped raining nowflooding the barren earth, threatening the world in a different way. Sasuke stood on the street corner as it beat down on him, eyes closed and skin as cold as marble as he leaned into the rain.

The Endymion Effect

a. Time: 0 (reference point)
In what would traditionally be considered the cockpit, there was a skylight that showed the sky as it would have appeared on terra firma. It was a pathetic excuse of a night light, a spacemans version of Blankie or Teddy, meant to give comfort to the team of engineers manning the cabin. Personally, hed prefer something less delusional, as no way in hell could anybody mistake it for a real window. They were seated at the heart of the gargantuan ship, an amalgam of carbon and alloys, specifically designed over decades to withstand extremes in pressure and temperature. No translucent material had such properties, even in these times, and nobody would want to see outside, anyway, no one who knew what it looked like in actuality. None of the constellations would look familiar, would slowly and continually change as the craft drifted aimlessly about the distant arms of the galaxy. For all of eternity, had a pompous, fatalistic tone to it that would easily turn off a modern-minded listener, but it was a quite feasible time frame to their exile, no thanks to the highly-developed, compulsively-paranoid technologies of his mother civilization. A black hole or an ill-timed supernova might be their only hope for a swift demise, but see, he wasnt holding his breath for either.