A Review of Anna Quindlens Black and Blue

By

Nathaniel B. Broyles

Prof. Gloria Mitola, LMSW SOC 241 Violence in the Family May 24, 2011

Violence in the family has only truly been recognized as a problem in the last century. Up until that point in time, what went on in the privacy of a persons home was not to be intruded upon. Sayings such as Spare the rod and spoil the child were the rule of thumb that parents were supposed to adhere to in disciplining their children. In fact, the phrase rule of thumb actually refers to that fact that a husband was not supposed to beat his wife with anything thicker in circumference than his own thumb. To this day, intimate partner violence is the shameful secret that is rarely talked about. Victims are often blamed for being such because they did not leave their abusers. Children often suffer negative side effects from having witnessed the abuse between their parents, or been directly involved in the abuse themselves. Anna Quindlens novel, Black and Blue, tells the fictional story of one woman who was abused by her police officer husband and her struggle to escape not for herself, but for the sake of her son whom she loves more than herself.

Fran, the main character, falls in love with Bobby when she was just 19-years old and still in nursing school. Bobby is attending the police academy at the same time and they both live at home with their parents. Fran has, up to that point, lived a life of never being quite good enough and always settling for what it seems that life has planned for her. She sees Bobby as a way to a better life for herself. He is handsome and well-liked by everyone around her. He makes her stomach weak with butterflies when he smiles at her. She can ignore the warning signs, the instances of violence where he hurts her, because they happen so rarely. When they do happen, he always apologizes and holds her and seems sincere so it is easy for her to convince herself that hed never hurt her badly and that it will all be better once they are married.

Of course, things do not just magically get better. In fact, they follow a predictable pattern of escalating violence, especially following the birth of Robert, the couples son. Always a violent man with a veneer of friendliness presented to the world at large, Bobby begins to become more and more violent with Fran. In the early years, as Fran describes, it seemed like he was testing her, trying to find out how much she was abuse she was willing to take. By the time Robert is born, he is confident enough that she will never leave that he feels able to break bones without her leaving. All of his damage is done in areas that remain unseen under normal clothing and the broken bones are explained away as clumsiness. Whenever she is hurt so badly that

questions would be asked, she simply avoids spending time with those who would worry most about her and takes leave from her work as a nurse where she, ironically, has a great deal of contact with women in her exact same situation.

She lives her life trapped in a circle of lies that are paraded in public for the consumption of her friends, family, and her son. All of the bruises and broken bones are the result of accidents. The public face that her husband puts on for the world is his true face and she really is a lucky woman to be married to a man like him, a handsome, charming, police detective. Robert, the young son, knows the true even if he is young enough not to want to acknowledge the lie and to prefer to believe the fiction that he is told. He has grown up hearing the yelling, the fighting, the cries of pain, and the aftermath when his mother is bruised, broken, and bleeding. He can put it together well enough but it is hard for him to reconcile with the image of his police officer father who has never hit him in his life and who he knows loves him.

It is not until Fran finally realizes how much their situation is hurting her son that she finally acknowledges that she has to leave everything behind and run for her life. As she says, she may not be the strongest person when it comes to taking care of herself but she would do anything to protect her son, the most precious person in the world to her. She makes this realization as Bobby finally struck her in the face and broken her nose, leaving her broken and unconscious. She takes her son and goes to her sisters apartment, letting her sister know for the first time just what she has been going through over the years. Her husband, however, tracks her down and uses his authority as a police officer to talk his way past the buildings security. He confronts Fran and mocks her for having thought that she could get away from him. He is, after all, a police officer so who, exactly, is she going to call for help? His fellow officers? She then realizes that she has no choice but to take advantage of the help of a group that is dedicated to helping battered women disappear from their abusers with new identities. She makes the decision to leave everyone and everything behind so that Robert does not grow up to become like his father.

Once she has escaped and begun a new life, it takes Fran a few months to finally start to feel as if she was alive again. She makes a friend as they bond first over their children and finally

beginning to find that they genuinely like one another. Although it takes time, she finally starts to feel like a woman again and even begins dating the vice principal of her sons new school. Robert, however, continues to have a difficult time adjusting to the new life that has been forced upon him. Intellectually, he understands that they moved because his father kept on hurting his mother but emotionally it is difficult for him to accept that he cannot have any contact with the father who loves him. It is that difficulty in reconciling the two images of his father that ultimately leads to a nearly fatal telephone call from father to son and allows Bobby to track down there whereabouts. The result is a savage beating for Fran and a kidnapping for Robert.

Ultimately, Fran escapes with her life, something which she was previously convinced would never happen if Bobby ever caught up with her. She ended up losing the very reason for which she found the courage to run in the first place though. Although she is able to eventually find love and forge a new family, she never stops thinking about and searching for her first son. Bobby disappears with Robert and she is unable to track the two of them down, knowing that Bobby is spending his time with Robert poisoning his mind against his mother. She can only hope and pray that when Robert is old enough he will search her out for himself, which is why she makes it a point to keep the same telephone number so that there will always be an easy way for him to get in touch with her.

There are no scenes within the novel itself that are described so vividly that it was a difficult read. The audience is made well aware that the beatings that Fran suffers are severe enough that she quite often is unable to go out in public. It is also made clear that she suffers regularly from marital rape, often to the point where she is bleeding internally. Through it all, however, it is Robert who is never touched physically. Instead, his suffering comes from keeping secrets that are slowly beginning to destroy him and rob him of the innocence that all children deserve. He is slowly learning that violence is the answer to ones problems if a boy is to grow into a man. He has also learned his lessons well in how to act around adults, especially when there is an atmosphere of confrontation.

This sad lesson learned is nowhere more apparent than the scene of Thanksgiving dinner at the home of Frans new friend. There is tension amongst the adults as unfamiliar family

dynamics play out in front of the newcomers. Raised voices and bickering, although nothing too extraordinary, come from the tables where the adults are seated. Fran notices, however, that Robert, sitting with the other children, has his shoulders hunched and is making himself as small as possible so as to remain unnoticed. He is also quietly educating the other children on how to not draw attention to them while the adults are fighting. Watching Robert slowly force himself to disappear is painful for his mother to watch as she is well aware of how and why that particular lesson was learned. It is also a reminder to the reader that one does not have to be a recipient of physical abuse in order to be a victim of intimate partner violence. Quite often, the children in such situations, although they may not have been physically harmed themselves, suffer long lasting consequences.

Judging by the clues spread throughout the novel, it appears that Bobby himself, while an abuser in the present, was a victim himself in the past. To what extent he was a victim is not made readily apparent but whenever he describes his father he refers to the old man as a piece of work. He never really talks about his father except to say that he was a police officer who was killed in the line of duty. When Fran confronts Bobbys mother near the end of the novel, and asks her directly what her husband was like, it is easy to infer that her suspicions are true. Bobbys behavior and attitudes were shaped by childhood socialization. His harsh treatment at the hands of his father, and observing how his father interacted with his own family, shaped Bobbys views on what was acceptable and expected behavior with his own family. Despite the evidence to the contrary, Bobbys mother, Ann, refuses to accept that her son is anything less than a good man. Nobody can tell (her) different. It is one of the problems of intimate partner violence that the truth is usually shrouded as secrets within secrets surrounded by a screaming silence. It takes a great deal of strength of will to speak through the feelings of shame and guilt that are often associated with IPV.

The cycle of violence model of behavior first formulated by Lenore Walker in 1979 is amply demonstrated throughout the novel. From the very beginning of the relationship between Fran and Bobby, the reader is exposed to the cycle of tension building, battering, and loving respite. The instances are mild in the beginning as Bobby is testing his limits to see what Fran is willing to accept as the price for marriage and a family of her own. Once he feels confident,

however, the battering phases become more and more severe as he tries to press and mold her into the shell of the wife that he wants. Although willing to be molded in many respects, Bobby himself seems to be uncertain exactly what he wants and so nothing that Fran does is able to please him, leading the tension to build upon itself until Bobby feels provoked into lashing out at the cause of his tension, Fran. This is typical of many males who batter their partners in that, typically, they are not to blame for their actions. Also, in many cases, the severities of their actions are downplayed as taps or shoves despite evidence to the contrary in the form of bruises and broken bones.

All in all, Black and Blue is an intimate look at Intimate Partner Violence from the inception of the relationship through to an almost happy ending. All too often relationships that are characterized, even defined in some cases, by violence between the two partners do not end well. In some cases this means separation and divorce as the two go their own separate ways. In many cases, the dominant partner refuses to release their control over the weaker and a violent outburst of some sort is the result. That violent outburst may be a single act of lashing out against the person betraying them that results in little or no real physical harm or it can often lead to tragic death. In Frans case, she escaped with physical and emotional scars, and the loss of her first son, but she was left with her life and the chance to start over again by building a new family.