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FAMILY
1. Definition 2
FAMILY DESCIPTION
2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15 Family As An Institution Types And Functions Of Family Importance And Role Of Family Common Problems That Affect Society Family Relationship Problems Family Charts Causes And Prevention Of Family Violence Mediation Recommendation to avoid conflicts How Family Stay Happy Defective socialization due to outside agencies Family System In Islam Rules And Functions In Islam Conclusion 2 3 4 4-5 5-6 6-7 8-9 9-10 10-11 12-14 14 15 16-17 17
DEFINITIONS OF FAMILY
A group of persons sharing common ancestry.
A family is a social group characterized by common residence, economic cooperation and reproduction (George Burdock) The family is a socially sanctioned, relatively permanent grouping of people who are united by blood, marriage or adoption and who generally live together and cooperate Page | 2 economically (Hedbing and Glick) The family is a relatively permanent group of persons linked together in social roles by ties of blood, marriage or adoption, who live together and cooperate economically and in the rearing of children (Brinkerhoff and White) The family is further defined as group of people who are related through marriage, blood or adoption, interact with one another in their designated roles of husband, wife, mother, son, etc and create and maintain a common subculture (Lanz and Snyder) Totally, the family is a most important primary group in which members share economic resources and day-to-day responsibilities.
DESCRIPTION
No other factor influences children as deeply as their families. As a social unit with genetic, emotional, and legal dimensions, the family can foster the child's growth, development, health, and well-being. The family can provide the child with affection, a sense of belonging, and validation. Every area of a child's life is affected by the family.
FAMILY AS AN INSTITUTION
The family is a group of intimate people emotionally involved and related either by blood, marriage or adoption, responsible for the reproduction and rearing of the children and living together. The family is an institution from where one can learn the rules of life, the pace of life. One can lead the whole life only on which he was brought up n lead his life according to it. In family socialization is done in which learning the expectations (standards of values and specific norms of behaviors) associated with various roles in which the individual is allocated. Individual living in a family will adopt the same habits, norms customs, traditions, and folkways. The family is an institution which shows once Individual Personality. The family is a basic and vital unit of social structure. The family in this sense is the center of religion, education and socialization for its members.
TYPES OF FAMILY
Nuclear Family = mother, father and children: "The traditional British family unit is a nuclear family." Single-Parent / One-Parent Family = a family which only has one parent (because the parents are divorced, or because one of the parents has died): "There are more and more single-parent families in the UK." Page | 3 Immediate Family = your closest relatives: "Only immediate family members attended the funeral." Extended Family = your entire family: "The wedding invitations were sent to the entire extended family." Close-Knit Family = a family where the members have close relationships with each other: "They are a close-knit family." Dysfunctional Family = a family where the members have serious problems with each other: "He comes from a rather dysfunctional family." Blood Relative = a relative connected to you by "blood" rather than through marriage: "She's not a blood relative, but we're still very close
CHARACTERISTIC OF FAMILY
The family has basic functions. In order for the family to meet a child's psychological needs, its members must be nurturing, convey mutual respect, provide for intimacy, and engage in bonding and attachment. The family also socializes the child, guiding the child to be members of the society beyond the family. The family conveys religious and cultural beliefs and traditions to the next generation. The family is the child's source of economic resources, which meet the child's various physical needs for food, shelter, and clothing. Then, too, the family sees to it that the child receives health and dental care.
FUNCTIONS OF FAMILY
The family provides for the continuity of mankind through reproduction. The family regulates sexual behavior The family provides the necessary care, training and protection of every member. The family is responsible for socializing the child The family provides the means by which an individuals social status is initially fixed. The family is an important mechanism for social control The family performs the function of biological maintenance The family has an educational function The family has a religious function The family has political function
IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY
The strong or weak mental and physical aspects of the organism inherited from the parents can be develop in the family In the family, the child learns the meaning of social responsibility and the necessary for Page | 4 cooperation. It plays a significant role in socializing persons The family is transmitter of culture The family serves as a model for the establishment of another family
satisfaction the parent gets from it affects the parents and, in turn, their effectiveness in parenting. Child abuse and neglect is a destructive force in families and results in children's anxiety , depression, lowered self-esteem , and a decline in school performance. Similarly, children who witness domestic violence suffer some of these same Page | 5 consequences. Economic stress affects the whole family. When financial problems occur, the family may be forced to move for employment. Families have lifestyle commitments and ties to their community. When these ties break-up, children, especially adolescents, are likely to experience a loss of hope. Parental career disappointments can cause anxiety and selfdoubtin children. Family economic stress may cause parental substance abuse, which can lead to school distraction and declining academic performance in young people.
All families have some type of relationship problem. These can be simple family relationship problems or more complex family relationship problems. No matter how complex your family relationship problems are it can be hard understanding them. To begin to understand common family relationship problems is to realize that every family member is different and we should stop comparing. We will always be different from our family members by wanting and needing things that make us an individual. Wanting different things is good but many times we are made to feel like we should all like and do the same things because we are family. This is not true. Families are precious because everyone brings something different to the table. Once family members realize that they are all unique and stop trying to become like the other is when the family relationship problems disappear. Looking at ways to understand family relationship problems will have you looking at how the family members interact with each other. Look at the family relationships for negative tones or meanness. Many times a family relationship problem can begin because one family member was negative to another family member. Hurt feelings can then fester and create more hurt feelings and soon there is a huge family problem that needs some help. By understanding how other family members feel you can begin to understand common family relationship problems.
While looking at how the family interacts together to form an understanding of common family relationship problems you will also want to look at jealousy. Even in a family where kids are always treated the same there will be some kind of jealousy. Jealousy can begin with something as small as one child getting the bigger sucker but can move onto one child getting a better education. Jealousy can create a lot of family relationship Page | 6 problems that can carry over into adulthood. Just as each family member is different you should also try to realize that every family member will also get different things. There is no room for jealousy in any relationship especially a family. Understanding common family relationship problems is very tough. No two people are the exact same so no two families are exactly the same. Many of the same relationship problems can occur in every family all across the world. Some of these problems were discussed here while more problems could still be addressed. Some of the most common family relationship problems are misunderstandings that are brought on by comparing each other, meanness or negativity towards other family members and jealousy of other family members.
addictions and unhealthy compulsions "moods," like depression excessive fears, anger, or apathy excessive social isolation one or more psychosomatic illnesses conflicts among family adults and kids impasses and relationship cutoffs family role (responsibility) conflicts interpersonal rules, boundaries, and consequences asset and debt ownership and manage-ment, including saving vs. spending, insurance, and estate plans personal, couple, and family privacy
personal health issues home decorating and maintenance buying and maintaining appliances geographic relocations relations with relatives and friends work and career problems leisure and socializing choices parenting stressors balancing work, play, and rest family vacations, holidays, rituals, and celebrations family conflicts over religion, politics, and healthcare neighborhood and community
effective communication basics and problem-solving skills; and of... healthy-grieving basics, and how to spot and finish incomplete mourning; and... relationship and family basics; and... typical kids' needs, and effectiveparenting skills
values conflicts, including priority cla Page | 7 shes; boundary clashes and violations; loyalty conflicts; and stressful relationship triangles; significant barriers to satisfying relation-ships; and...
o o o o
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unwise cohabiting, courtship (commitment), child conception, and job decisions; and...
lack of informed family, community, and media family support, including uninform-ed churches, clinicians, and legal professionals
8. Infidelity
9. Jealousy 10. Self hate 11. Psychological or physical abuse. 12. Money 13. Rivalry 14. Anger problems. 15. Control 16. Hatred of another or others.
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college students in courtship violence awareness programs may be useful in preventing family violence, and later on, marital violence. Health care providers are receiving additional training that will help them respond more effectively to family violence. Also, training is taking place to promote interagency collaboration. When police, lawyers, and treatment providers work together, the Page | 9 improvement in outcomes is dramatic. Judges and district attorneys have a substantial role in the prevention of violence. It is important that the courts convey a clear message that family violence is unacceptable and that it will not be tolerated. A community that refuses to tolerate a behavior is likely to produce fewer citizens who engage in that behavior. Some communities are being effective in preventing family violence by helping at-risk families identify and meet their needs. This is an especially popular approach for child abuse prevention because many abusive and neglectful parents may not know how to be good parents. They may be young and immature, have economic pressures, and be socially isolated. Maritally violent couples may experience similar problems. Those who focus on marital violence interventions believe that prevention efforts should take place as early as possible. NEED FOR PROGRAM: Violence in the family is a social problem that is receiving increased attention at the state, and national levels. Broken families, emotionally damaged children, lost productivity in the work place, and increased demands for medical services are just some of the human and social costs of violence. The phrase "cycle of violence" describes what takes place when parental violence is witnessed by the children and then repeated in the children's peer relationships. There is an increasing need for early intervention to prevent relationship violence and to help break the cycle of violence in families. Violence in the schools has become a serious problem. Much of the violent behavior that occurs in the schools is a re-enactment of violence that has been learned at home. Children from violent and otherwise dysfunctional homes are often violent and dysfunctional at school. Teachers are not trained to deal effectively with the problems these children present. Problem children are often removed from the positive learning experience of the classroom. Eventually they may even be excluded from school altogether because of their overly-aggressive, disruptive behavior towards their peers and others. The family is the most important agent of socialization for our children. As the poet, Alexander Pope, observed: "Just as the twig is bent, the tree's inclin'd." Research evidence continues to point to the profound influence childhood victimization plays in producing the next generation of abusers. The greater the severity and frequency of the victimization within the family, the greater the likelihood of severe and frequent violent offending outside the family. Some practitioners believe that, if we can reduce all family violence - not just the abuse and neglect of our children - we can prevent future violence by its young victims.
EXAMPLES OF FAMILY CONFLICTS THAT ARE WELL SUITED FOR MEDIATION ARE:
PARENTING CONFLICTS - Parents can get into conflict over how to discipline children. Child care issues can also cause conflict in the family. One of the most severe forms of Page | conflict in dealing with children is what is called PINS (persons in need of supervision). 10 These are children who are frequently in trouble, many times with the law or school authorities, who do not seem to be responding to the influence of parents. PROPERTY CONFLICTS - One major source of family conflict is property. Especially when property needs to be divided, either during a divorce or in an estate settlement, families can become very combative and serious conflict can result. SEPARATION CONFLICTS When a couple decides to separate, there can be major conflicts as to who will take responsibility for what duties need to be taken care of. Child care, property maintenance, and bill payment responsibilities can all be issues that cause conflict. CUSTODY CONFLICTS When children need to be cared for, whether because of death or divorce, custody issues can be a major source of conflict in families. This can involve extended family members in the conflict, which adds to the complexity of the conflict. FINANCIAL CONFLICTS - Like property conflicts, financial issues can cause serious family conflicts. This can be between a married couple, parents and children, and extended family. This can result from job loss or disability, death, or divorce. SUPERVISION CONFLICTS - In many cases, there is a person in the family who needs supervision. This can be for people with disabilities, children, older adults, or family members in need of healthcare.
Mediation can help in any of these situations. Why are these conflicts so traumatic?
One reason is that we expect families to be an oasis of love, support, and acceptance. Mothers and fathers are supposed to love each other and their children. Children are supposed to love and respect their parents. Even in the worst situations, we believe that we can always count on our family. When disputes cause separations in families, it is especially hard to understand and deal with.
Be patient. Well-functioning families recognize the need for peace-making, patience and consideration. Poorly functioning families quickly respond with anger. Be good stress managers. Practice a healthy lifestyle and plan well-deserved relaxation times.
Try to gain control over whatever part of life you can. Flood victims are encouraged 11 to seek this control, even if it means putting their remaining possessions in storage, or buying a hot-plate on which to cook. Remain optimistic, striving to see the brighter side, without denying reality. Help each family member have high self-esteem and help them be self-reliant. Praise each other often and encourage the strengths of each person. Give daily reminders of your love and appreciation. Healthy families are clear and direct about feelings, particularly expressions of commitment, affection and praise. Do things together as a family. Go on family outings, plan fun time at home, hold family meetings, play together and go to church together. Talk openly and honestly. Poorly functioning families may not talk, may keep secrets, or have many topics they cannot or will not discuss with each other. Develop a strong social network by participating in community organizations, accepting help and supporting others.
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If you can't get "unstuck," seek professional help. Do you want to live the rest of your life this way? If not, can you develop a workable plan to "make things better?" If not, get help from a reputable family service agency in your area. Kids Feel Stress Too When a family is experiencing a crisis, all its members are affected -- including the children. Sometimes adults believe that kids do not really feel stress, but they do. Some signs that your child may be stressed are
Your child is misbehaving more than usual Your child is more quiet than usual Your child develops some school problems, such as fighting at school or not paying attention Your child is having trouble sleeping Your child often tells you he is worried and concerned about the family problem Children need help to deal with the stress they feel. Talk with your child about the family problem, in words she can understand. Let your child know he does not need to worry about adult problems, such as money. Be clear that some problems are not his to worry about. Teach your child to relax when she is feeling stressed. Have her listen to some music, breathe deeply, perhaps release her tensions physically through playing outside or just laughing with you. Give words to your childs feelings. Sometimes children do not know that they are stressed. I heard you had another fight in school today. I am wondering if you are worried about my losing my job?
Listen when your child talks about his concerns. Give him your full attention and listen for what he is feeling as well as the actual problems he is talking about. Spend some fun time with your child. This will help reduce her stress as well as yours.
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TOGETHERNESS Children need to be involved in some of the decision making if they are to feel like a worthwhile family member. Happy families share a feeling of togetherness. This includes: Sharing a common sense of belonging Sharing beliefs that really matter Page | Enjoying the place we call home 13 Celebrating together Sharing our memories. SUPPORT Happy families support and encourage each other by: Looking out for each other Sharing the load Being there for each other Encouraging each other to try new things Taking an active interest in each others hobbies. AFFECTION Happy families show their affection for each other in a variety of ways, including: Telling family members how they feel about them Showing their love for each other Considering each other, including each others feelings Caring about each other Doing things for each other. ACCEPTANCE Families are made up of different individuals with different needs and, sometimes, different values and beliefs. Happy families are able to show acceptance of these individual differences by: Accepting the differences Giving each other space Respecting each others points of view Being able to forgive each other Each taking on their own responsibilities. COMMITMENT Happy families have a genuine commitment to each other, which is shown through: Feeling safe and secure with each other Trusting each other Keeping promises Doing things for the community Having rules. RESILIENCE Happy families show their resilience through: Talking things through
Changing plans when they need to Learning from the tough times Keeping each other hopeful Pulling together in a crisis Discussing problems.
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UNHAPPY FAMILIES Families that dont function as well as they could have certain traits in common, including: Unfair power distribution, such as one parent ruling the household Problems with maintaining peaceful conflict negotiation Lack of respect for each other as individuals Not talking or listening to each other Refusing to acknowledge or accept anyone elses point of view A tendency to rely on negative forms of communication such as yelling, criticising or sulking The use of physical punishment, such as smacking or hitting, as the main form of discipline. OVERCOMING PROBLEMS WITH PROFESSIONAL HELP There are services available that help family members work through difficult issues. Seek professional advice if you think you need some assistance.
The family is a closed system and is not open to changes and adjustment to outside environment. The family is only an institution where one can understand these temporary set norms and family is the place where he can learn the true meaning of his life.
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2) The intermediate family. This is more comprehensive than the first, for it
covers the whole territory and homeland. It may be called the national family. includes all of mankind on the earth.
3) The human family. This is by far the most extensive family and represents, or rather
Thus, by virtue of these definitions, the role of the family in Islam can be seen as having an important connection with all of the sectors mentioned above. The primary family its rise, and the roles, functions and relationships among its members, their rights and duties are critical to building a stable society. The family comes into existence as a consequence of a legal marriage, which is one of Allahs sanctioned traditions in creation and formation. it is a common and regular practice to all human creatures. Allah says: O mankind, revere your guardian lord, who created you from a single person, created of like nature, his mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds)countless men and women.
It has been Allahs will and decree that the family is based upon the relationship between a man and a woman. it is founded on their mutual consent [offering and acceptance denote this consent] to belong to each other, thereby restricting the instinct to seek other unsound and illicit relationships, so that the progeny may be protected and women safeguarded against being regarded as public property, or a burden upon society.
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Islam splendidly urges the building of families and marriage. Muhammad (PBUH) says: marry and take wives for this increase your means of living.
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CONCLUSION
The family is one of the units which is the major social institution and is still performing all those functions which a primary group does in the human lie. It is believed that no other agency can replace this institution to perform its function so effectively and perfectly. It is expected that the family will continue to exist as the basic unit of society in all human societies in the time to come.
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. Lee Iacocca
Family life is too intimate to be preserved by the spirit of justice. It can be sustained by a spirit of love which goes beyond justice. Reinhold Niebuhr
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REFERENCES
http://www.ag.udel.edu http://www.conquering-stressful-family-hurdles.com/ http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o&d=86053220 http://www.scribed.com http://www.slideshare.com http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/familyissues.html http://www.psychwww.com/resource/selfhelp/family.html http://www.healthofchildren.com http://www.stevepavlina.com http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles
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