Repentance 101: What is REAL Repentance?

July 17, 2011

Repentance 101: What is REAL Repentance?

Selected Scriptures
Sunday Morning July 17, 2011 Church in the Boro Rob Wilkerson

Introduction
One of the most frustrating things as a parent, no doubt, is helping your children work through the subject of repentance. You tell them that something is wrong to do. You may even show them in the Bible. You may even teach them a bit, and then even pray with them and for them. But eventually, sometimes within moments of the teachable moment they turn right back around and do the same thing again. In many respects these moments are necessary and crucial for child rearing in the early years. But once a child has reached a reasonable age in which they should know or remember that something is wrong, it can be quite frustrating to be involved in repeated disobedience or sin over and over again. And the countless efforts at teaching and re-teaching a child can be as frustrating, because youre wondering the whole time if they are ever really getting it. Youre wondering like I do often, when is REAL repentance supposed to kick in? Perhaps youve experienced this in other context as well. Maybe its your spouse. Maybe its your coworker. Or how about your neighbor? Or classmate? Or teacher? Or professor? No matter who it is, we all constantly face scenarios where we are the brunt of other peoples repeated offense or sin or disobedience to God. You know how it goes. They do something offensive or sinful. You get your feelings hurt. You go and talk to them about it. Many times they see what theyve done and feel bad about it. So they say theyre sorry and apologize to you, and even ask for your forgiveness. But then they may come back the next day or the same week and do the same thing all over again to you. It can essentially feel like in times like this that they are just ripping off a fresh scab on your heart or soul. Ouch! And an even bigger ouch grows each time that person does the very same thing again and again and again! In all cases we are sometimes surrounded by people who just dont care to acknowledge whatever it is you are talking about or confronting them with. That seems often to be the case when we are interacting with people who dont know Jesus. Sometimes it happens with people who say they DO follow Jesus. But most people who truly follow Jesus are humble people who want to know when theyve offended someone else or have done something sinful, and they seem as if they are truly sorrowful, apologetic and want to not do that thing again. Yet somehow, it happens again. Then it happens again. And again. And so it continues over and over again. So you sit back at times and wonder, Are they really sorry for what theyve done? They show remorse, but they dont actually repent from it. What makes matters even worse, producing extreme difficulty in deciphering what to do, the person who sins or offends repeatedly often tends to have such a remorseful and penitent attitude that they shed a ton of tears and feel absolutely awful about it all. They may crumble beneath the embarrassment again and wonder why they keeping doing it. Others feel it deeper so that they are
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reduced to tears and even weeping. Still others feel it even deeper so that they fall into despair over their sin and offense. Yet somehow, strangely, and frustratingly for everyone around, they still keep on doing it. Yet the tears and the emotional responses are such that we are easily led to think, Well, this time could be the conversation and confrontation that produces change. I mean, they look even sorrier than they did last time, so surely this has got to be the kicker for them to really repent. In the life of our church plant we have had several examples of this cycle of sin and offense, followed by confrontation, followed by acknowledgement, followed by emotional response and tears, followed by a confession of sin and sorrow, followed by restoration, followed by repetition. This has happened not only between various members and regular attendees of this church plant, but also within our own families, between spouses and children. So what I want to do this morning is take a few minutes and outline what true, biblical, godly repentance really looks like, and then apply it to both sides of a situation. I want to apply it to the person who needs to repent from a sin, and I want to apply it to the person who is being sinned against. The Bible lays personal responsibility at the feet of each person involved, the one who has sinned as well as the one who has been sinned against. This is another one of those paradoxes where the Bible says two things that seem in our minds to contradict each other, but in reality they do not. They are simply truths in tension with each other that we must hold in order to faithfully know God, obey Jesus and make disciples. Let me start this morning by asking two simple questions: 1. What is true repentance? 2. What is false repentance Repentance in scripture involves a group of three words which must be looked at closely, in order to understand what the Bible is talking about. And this is important if we are to understand what God thinks about repentance, since He reveals Himself first and foremost and most clearly in the Bible. The first two words show us what true repentance is. The last word shows us what false repentance is. According to Jesus it is crucial we get this right, because if you dont repent you perish. A persons present happiness and joy rests on repentance. And a persons eternal happiness and joy rests on repentance. Jesus is clear in Luke 13:3 and 5, unless you repent, you will all likewise perish (ESV).

What is True Repentance?

The first two words refer to a change of mind about sin. You once thought one way about your sin, and now you think the opposite. The verb itself in the Greek is metanoeo (pronounced meta-no-eh-oh), from meta meaning after, and from nous meaning mind or knowledge. Thus to repent is to know after, to think after, or even to care after. There is careful thought and care given to the offense that was committed, in order to see it for what it really was, to think about it in some detail, and to think about how not to do that again. The noun is the Greek word metanoia (pronounced meta-noi-uh), which essentially means the same thing. Bible study sometimes requires looking at how words are used outside the Scriptures in order to understand how the word was formed, so that we know what it means when compared to other words that look or seem similar. Often we find the need to do this when a word in scripture is not used enough times to get a deeper sense of what it really means. This group of words is used about 56 times in the New Testament. However, a study of the Greek words for repentance and their usages both in
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the Bible as well as outside the Bible do draw out the word meanings so that a fuller understanding is presented to us. What we see is that the common understanding of the word in that day involved a series of steps which the mind and heart naturally progress through in the repentance process. 1. 2. 3. 4. You commit a sin and realize afterward that it was a sin. You consequently change your mind about what youve done, not wanting to do that any longer. You subsequently feel regret for what youve done. Springing out of all this, you decide to change your behavior in the future.

In keeping with this, another scholar has pointed out from other usages of the word outside the Bible, that four distinct changes are involved when it comes to this word: a change of mind (Plato. Euthd. 279 c; Diodorus Siculus 1.67.5), a change of intentions (Josephus, Antiquities of the Jews, 2.322), a change of plans (Ag. Apion 1.274), and a season of reflection (Philo, Allegorical Interpretations 3.106). To be sure, no one really goes through these processes step by step, mind you. But a couple of Greek scholars broke it out in these processes to show the normal flow of the thinking process of a person who is truly a Christian, whether they are conscious of it or not. You commit a sin. You have an OMG moment. Your new heart is repulsed by that and wants to never do that again. You feel awful about it, especially if it affected other people. And you determine from that point forward that things will be different. And they actually are different. In other words, repentance has real, lasting fruit to show for all the pain and regret. Or, as John the Baptist stated it, Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God. Don't just say to each other, 'We're safe, for we are descendants of Abraham.' That means nothing, for I tell you, God can create children of Abraham from these very stones. Even now the ax of God's judgment is poised, ready to sever the roots of the trees. Yes, every tree that does not produce good fruit will be chopped down and thrown into the fire (Matt. 3:8-10, NLT). Lets open to some texts to see this more clearly.

Example 1: David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11)

One of the saddest stories in the Bible focuses on David after he became king. He had turned to God all throughout his life in the earlier days when Samuel had already anointed him to be the next king. From that point until David actually became was approximately 20 years, yet most of that time was spent running from Saul who was trying to kill David. Many of the Psalms were written during this time period, and we see a man turning to God over and over again during the most terrible days of trial and tribulation in his life up that point. But when we turn to 2 Samuel 11 we see a different man. Much of the conquering had been done, and there were still a few wars left to fight. It was in the springtime, when the kings usually go out to battle, that David decided to take it easy and stay home. And the first and most obvious lesson learned here is to always keep doing what you know is right or youll fall into trouble. And trouble is what David fell into, or rather walked into. While enjoying some leisure on his balcony one day, he looked down and saw a woman bathing. He lusted after her. He wanted her. So he sent for her, slept with her, and got her pregnant.
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That was just the beginning. Next, he called her husband home from battle, tried to set them up so theyd sleep together, and then make it look like the baby was his. But he was more a man of integrity at this point than David was. He refused to sleep with his wife while his comrades were at battle. So David decided to send him back to the war, and commanded that he be moved to the front lines where he was eventually killed. With her husband out of the way, David could now marry her and everything would look great. He had pity on her because her husband died in battle, so he marries her, David looks like a great and merciful guy, she gets pregnant, they have their first child, and they are the golden couple. But six months of pregnancy went by and the prophet Nathan showed up. He told a story to David about a man who had a little lamb which was forcibly taken from him and killed and eaten. David was infuriated with the man in the story and wanted to put him to death in outrage. Nathan explained that David was that man. He had taken Urriahs little lamb, Bathsheba, his wife, when he had already had everything God had given him. It was the story of the Fall in the Garden of Eden all over again. Nathans words were sharp and convicting. Nathan said to David, "You are that man! The LORD, the God of Israel, says: I anointed you king of Israel and saved you from the power of Saul. I gave you your master's house and his wives and the kingdoms of Israel and Judah. And if that had not been enough, I would have given you much, much more. Why, then, have you despised the word of the LORD and done this horrible deed? For you have murdered Uriah the Hittite with the sword of the Ammonites and stolen his wife. From this time on, your family will live by the sword because you have despised me by taking Uriah's wife to be your own. David was horrified. True repentance kicked in. There was a sudden flash of how wrong he was, and he instantly thought through all that he had done and felt intense grief. He knew he should be a dead man according to Nathans story. And heres how David responded. Then David confessed to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD. Nathan replied, "Yes, but the LORD has forgiven you, and you won't die for this sin. All we have in this story is Davids confession of wrongdoing. But God evidently saw something else in his heart which produced mercy from Gods heart. He saw true repentance. He saw a man after His own heart that had walked headlong into sin, but had seen how despicable both he and his actions were and knew he deserved judgment. This kind of thinking led David to never do that kind of thing again, something we know for sure because its never recorded in the rest of Davids life story. There were other times David sinned, for sure. But not in this way again. True repentance is seeing the wrong youve done, being horrified at it, knowing you deserve Gods judgment, receiving mercy instead, and never committing that sin again. And if you do fall into that sin again, God knows your heart, and He knows for sure whether you are truly grieved about it.

Example 2: Jonah and the Ninevites (Matt. 12:41)

In Matthew 12 we have an episode recorded for us in the life of Jesus which involved some Scribes and Pharisees wanting to see Jesus do a miracle. In reality, they were just an audience wanting to see a magic trick. Perhaps they were bored, or perhaps they just wanted more ammo with which to destroy

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Jesus. Regardless, Jesus didnt put up with stupid questions from shifty religious leaders. So He just came right out and rebuked them. Only an evil, adulterous generation would demand a miraculous sign; but the only sign I will give them is the sign of the prophet Jonah. For as Jonah was in the belly of the great fish for three days and nights, so will the Son of Man be in the heart of the earth for three days and three nights. The people of Nineveh will stand up against this generation on judgment day and condemn it, for they repented of their sins at the preaching of Jonah. Now someone greater than Jonah is here, but you refuse to repent (vv. 39-41, NLT). As long as the human race is alive, there will always be religious people who arent satisfied with what theyve already seen and learned. They will just never believe, and they always have all sorts of reasons as to why they cant or shouldnt. Nevertheless, Jesus acts and words were all the religious leaders of His day needed in order to believe. But they chose not to. And Jesus equated their believing in Him with repenting from sin. In other words, they needed to repent from not believing in Him. They didnt need another miraculous sign. They just needed to repent. How often are we just like these religious leaders, always holding on to our rationalizations as to why we cant do what God said. We seem to always have a reason. To make His point Jesus simply tells them that the only miraculous sign they will get to shut every mouth once and for all is His resurrection. Just as Jonah was in the whales belly for three days and nights, Jesus will be in the grave for three days and nights and then He will rise again. The people of Nineveh repented when Jonah came to them freshly vomited from the belly of the whale. He preached the coming judgment of God, and they listened and turned their ways. Heres the way Jonah himself wrote the story in chapter 3. When the king of Nineveh heard what Jonah was saying, he stepped down from his throne and took off his royal robes. He dressed himself in burlap and sat on a heap of ashes. Then the king and his nobles sent this decree throughout the city: No one, not even the animals from your herds and flocks, may eat or drink anything at all. People and animals alike must wear garments of mourning, and everyone must pray earnestly to God. They must turn from their evil ways and stop all their violence. Who can tell? Perhaps even yet God will change his mind and hold back his fierce anger from destroying us. When God saw what they had done and how they had put a stop to their evil ways, he changed his mind and did not carry out the destruction he had threatened (vv. 6-10, NLT). Do you see the key phrases in the text? They turned from their evil ways and stopped all their violence. They put a stop to their evil ways. This is a picture of true repentance. Its really that simple. But if you try to make it harder with rationalizations and even Scripture to back you up, as religious people are famous for doing, you only make it worse for yourself. You actually root yourself deeper into the lie that you cannot and should not do what God said. Dont make the mistake commonly made by the religious leaders of Jesus day, and commonly made by religious people today. Do NOT believe the lie that you cannot or should not stop sinning in a particular way because of whatever reasons or issues you have. Do it. And do it now. Do it today. True repentance is turning from your sin, stopping your wrongdoing, and doing exactly what God tells you to do.

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Church in the Boro

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Example 3: Jesus Sending Out His Apostles

One of the simplest texts is found in Mark 6 where Jesus is seen sending out His apostles. He calls the twelve, sends them two by two, and gives them authority to cast out demons. His message to them was simple: Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you depart from there. And if any place will not receive you and they will not listen to you, when you leave, shake off the dust that is on your feet as a testimony against them (vv. 10-11, ESV). In response, we read that they went out and proclaimed that people should repent (v. 12). What is obvious here is that repentance in verse 12 is clearly connected to the receiving and listening in verse 11. True repentance is evidenced in listening to what the apostles were saying and receiving them, which was tantamount to receiving everything they were saying, everything they were about, their mission, their messageeverything. If the members of the household or the city rejected the apostles, they were also rejecting the message. The point here is that proclaiming repentance comes with the expectation that people will listen and receive the truth. Therefore true repentance is believing and doing the truth.

Example 4: The First Christians after Pentecost

In the book of Acts repentance is shown to be a gift from God (5:31; 11:18; see also 2 Tim. 2:25), and is shown to be accompanied with an opposite response of turning to God (2:38; 3:19; 8:22; 17:30; 26:20). The very first time this word is used in Acts we see a superb example of what it means and what it looks like. When we come to chapter 2 the Spirit has been released and people have been baptized. The 120 followers of Jesus are speaking in tongues and Peter breaks out with a sermon about everything that was going on and what it all meant. In short, it was all a sign that Gods judgment against mankind had fallen on Jesus, but that He had used the Jews rebellion to accomplish it. Consequently, those who didnt follow Jesus would stand under Gods judgment. At the end of the message, Luke, the writer of Acts as well as the gospel by his name, said that Peters words pierced their hearts, and they said to him and to the other apostles, Brothers, what should we do? Peter replied, Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.Those who believed what Peter said were baptized and added to the church that day about 3,000 in all (Acts 2:37-41, NLT). So we have a group of people, listening to Peters message, many, if not most of whom cried Crucify Him! just over a month previous. Some of the people to whom Peter was preaching probably helped put Jesus to death. And when the sudden realization that they had killed Gods Messiah broken into their hearts, they were cut to the core. What a great example this is of repentance at work in a persons heart. True repentance begins with your heart being cut to the core or pierced to the heart when you suddenly become aware of what youve done wrong or how HUGE youve sinned. Is there a dawning of revelation of sorts in your heart that makes you able to see what youve done from Gods perspective? If not, Id submit that repentance has not yet been birthed in your heart.
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Repentance here not only cut these guys to the core, but it actually produced something. Notice that it produced a question as to what to do in order to change course and make amends. They asked Peter and the apostles, Brothers, what should we do? and Im sure that it was asked very much in a panicking tone of voice. After all, Peter had just described the Messiah they had just killed as the King of the Universe standing ready to call everyone to account! True repentance looks like asking real, honest, deadly-serious questions about what you can do as soon as possible to change your course. You feel the weight of your sin and the danger of Gods judgment so heavily that you are praying and hoping with all of your being that God will have mercy on you. So you ask what youve got to do to get that mercyand you ask in a way that evidences you are willing to do whatever youre asked to do, because you want that mercy and forgiveness and restoration so badly. How do we know these guys repented? Because Luke tells us that about three thousand people were baptized and added to the church family that day. They asked deadly-serious questions about how to repent, and Peter told them to turn to God and be baptized. So they did just that. True repentance looks like you turning to God and being baptized if youve never been baptized before. True repentance means turning to God and obeying Him if you have already been baptized. Either way, repentance looks like being brought into the church community or being restored to that community in a real, meaningful way.

Example #5: Peters Denial, Repentance, and Restoration

Theres hardly a retelling of Jesus crucifixion story that doesnt include the apostle Peter. He was a man who was so zealous for Jesus and so full of himself at the same time. Every genuine Christian, Im convinced, must travel through an extremely difficult season of coming to the absolute dead end of yourself before discovering the beauty and rest of a life that truly follows Jesus. I am still traveling along that pathway, I know. And its quite painful most days. Being brought to the end of self-confidence and self-reliance, and a desire to be in control is, for some people at least, like pulling skin from bones. It feels like that emotionally and mentally at least. Im sure it felt the same for Peter in this episode of his life. Just a couple of days before He was to be crucified, Jesus predicted not only His own death, but also Peters denial. This episode is told in all four gospels, but Im using Marks account here. On the way, Jesus told them, All of you will desert meBut after I am raised from the dead, I will go ahead of you to Galilee and meet you there. Peter said to him, Even if everyone else deserts you, I never will. Jesus replied, I tell you the truth, Peter this very night, before the rooster crows twice, you will deny three times that you even know me. No! Peter declared emphatically. Even if I have to die with you, I will never deny you! And all the others vowed the same (14:27-31, NLT). How painful it must be to disagree with Jesus Christ. As we turn to the end of the same chapter, we read the following account. Meanwhile, Peter was in the courtyard below. One of the servant girls who worked for the high priest came by and noticed Peter warming himself at the fire. She looked at him closely and said, You were one of those with Jesus of Nazareth. But Peter denied it. I dont know what youre talking about, he said, and he went out into the entryway. Just
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then a rooster crowed. When the servant girl saw him standing there, she began telling the others, This man is definitely one of them! But Peter denied it again. A little later some of the other bystanders confronted Peter and said, You must be one of them, because you are a Galilean. Peter swore, A curse on me if Im lying I dont know this man youre talking about! And immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Suddenly, Jesus words flashed through Peters mind: Before the rooster crows twice, you will deny me three times that you even know me. And he broke down and wept (14:66-72, NLT). Here once more are the signs of true repentance being illustrated for us. True repentance involves a flashing of truth through our minds. It produces a sudden realization and remembrance of what we know compared to what weve actually done. To be sure, sin is never an accident. We always sin on purpose. But we dont always sin with a full realization or remembrance of truth in our minds. In fact, it could be said that sin is a sort of mental leave of absence. We forget or choose not to remember what is right, and as a result naturally fall into what is wrong. But when the Christian does fall into what is wrong, like Peter he or she will have a flashing of the truth in their minds, and a sudden remembrance or realization of what theyve done. Then, there will be tears. Not always, mind you. The emotional response will always reflect the gravity of the sin, for the Christian. Denying you know your mother is a sin, but it may not produce weeping. Instead, it may just produce a grief that you denounced your mom. But denying your intimate friendship with your best friend, whom youve also happened to realize is the Savior and Messiah? That will justifiably produce tears. So true repentance will have an emotional response that is equal to the sin. But theres another episode in Peters life that shows what true repentance also is. True repentance is running to your best friend and Savior and Messiah, Jesus Christ, because you want to be restored to Him. This is just what we see Peter doing in the scene recorded for us in John 21. Later, Jesus appeared again to the disciples beside the Sea of Galilee. This is how it happened. Several of the disciples were thereSimon Peter, Thomas (nicknamed the Twin), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples. Simon Peter said, "I'm going fishing." "We'll come, too," they all said. So they went out in the boat, but they caught nothing all night. At dawn Jesus was standing on the beach, but the disciples couldn't see who he was. He called out, "Fellows, have you caught any fish?" "No," they replied. Then he said, "Throw out your net on the righthand side of the boat, and you'll get some!" So they did, and they couldn't haul in the net because there were so many fish in it. Then the disciple Jesus loved said to Peter, "It's the Lord!" When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his tunic (for he had stripped for work), jumped into the water, and headed to shore. The others stayed with the boat and pulled the loaded net to the shore, for they were only about a hundred yards from shore. When they got there, they found breakfast waiting for themfish cooking over a charcoal fire, and some bread. "Bring some of the fish you've just caught," Jesus said. So Simon Peter went aboard and dragged the net to the shore. There were 153 large fish, and yet the net hadn't torn. "Now come and have some breakfast!" Jesus said. None of the disciples dared to ask him, "Who are you?" They knew it was the Lord. Then Jesus served them the bread and the fish. This was the third time Jesus had appeared to his disciples since he had been raised from the dead. After breakfast Jesus asked Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you love me more than
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these?" "Yes, Lord," Peter replied, "you know I love you." "Then feed my lambs," Jesus told him. Jesus repeated the question: "Simon son of John, do you love me?" "Yes, Lord," Peter said, "you know I love you." "Then take care of my sheep," Jesus said. A third time he asked him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, "Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you." Jesus said, "Then feed my sheep. "I tell you the truth, when you were young, you were able to do as you liked; you dressed yourself and went wherever you wanted to go. But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and others will dress you and take you where you don't want to go." Jesus said this to let him know by what kind of death he would glorify God. Then Jesus told him, "Follow me." This is one of the most beautiful, heart-wrenching, tear-jerking stories of repentance in the entire Bible. This is right up there next to the prodigal son story. Peter is fishing with no success again. And Jesus does the same thing with the apostles here that He did when He called them. He captured Peters attention the first time with this miracle, and does it here once more. Obviously, you see the point. He gets their attention. They couldnt see Him, because they were too far out. But they heard Him. And when they did what He said, they got the same results as last time. Then another sudden realization flashed across Peters mind. This guy on the shore was Jesus!!! The first sudden realization that flashed across his mind caused him to weep bitterly. This sudden realization caused him to jump out of the boat and swim to shore to be restored to Jesus. And thats true repentance. True repentance is running to Jesus to be restored.

Conclusion of True Repentance: Heaven Rejoices When You Repent!

Jesus told a couple of very short stories in Luke 15 about a shepherd who had a hundred sheep and lost one. So he left the ninety-nine to go find the one. When he did, he invited his neighbors over and threw a party to celebrate. In the next story the woman had ten silver coins, but lost one. So she swept the house and looked until she found the tenth coin. When she found it, she did the same thing as the shepherd. The wandering sheep and the lost coin both represent the person who needs to repent. And when God finds you and you repent, Jesus says, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance (Luke 15:7, ESV). He also said, There is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents (Luke 15:10, ESV). To elaborate on this joy and partying, Jesus went on to tell the story of the prodigal son. The story was told to draw out the ending which served to illustrate the joy and the partying Jesus was just talking about. When it comes down to it, there is no measure to the kind of joy this must be to God, the angels, and the citizens of heaven when you decide to repent. You cannot hear it now or possibly imagine what it is like. But Jesus chooses to at least plant the thought inside your head that your repentance here on earth affects the invisible world in ways you cannot possibly imagine. And that effect is joy. The effect is partying. The effect is celebration. And that should make you pretty excited as you think about repenting.

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What is False Repentance?

But there is also another word in this group which seems to portray something similar, yet clearly different. It is the Greek word metamelomai (pronounced meta-meh-loh-my), which means to be afflicted, troubled by a certain misdeed that one has committed (R.C. Trench, Synonyms of the NT, p. 258). This word can pretty much express every kind of regret, sorrow, and disgust for something we wish wed never done (ibid). *I+t is intended to express the mere desire that the done might be undone, accompanied with regrets or even with remorse, but with no effective change of heart (ibid), p. 255). This is probably more the kind of repentance we see today than anything else, especially when it comes from our precious children. The sorrow they mostly feel is from being disciplined, or having their privilege taken away, or being sent to their room, or having their toy or Gameboy taken away. Perhaps the sorrow is from being grounded, or missing a meal, or having to do really anything that makes them feel miserable. They are sorry because they feel miserable, and not because they have made someone else feel miserable. Consequently, they say Im sorry and shed many tears, and beg and plead to get out of the consequences. And when we relent and ease up or postpone the discipline, then the next thing we know our kid does it again and were thinking, What in the world! I thought they were really sorry! Sorry to disappoint you. They are not truly sorry, most of the time. This kind of sorrow is something only God can produce. It is godly sorrow. And only godly sorrow leads to true repentance. Paul had a similar experience with the Corinthians. He had sent them a pretty severe letter we have today as 1 Corinthians. It said a lot of rebuking, reproving, and correcting things to them. He knew it would hurt their feelings. But he was confident that the sorrow and pain they would feel would lead them to repent and change. Here is how Paul describes it in 2 Corinthians 7:8-10 I am not sorry that I sent that severe letter to you, though I was sorry at first, for I know it was painful to you for a little while. Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have, so you were not harmed by us in any way. For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There's no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death. False repentance only expresses sorrow that does not lead to repentance. It does not lead one away from sin. It only leads one into depression and further disobedience. This is called worldly sorrow, Paul says it lacks repentance, and it only results in spiritual death. Why? Because you dont actually quit sinning. You just keep on doing it, and you just get mad at the people who called you on it. Perhaps you get mad and gossip about them, or even slander. Maybe you give the other person a cold shoulder and even decide never to talk to them again. Then theres the decision to not forgive them, but hold that grudge against them forever. Finally, some people just decide to move to a new neighborhood or leave their church, run away from home, or leave their spouse. When it all settles down, whats really left is that the person got mad because someone told them the truth. And thats false repentance, or worldly repentance. False repentance only results in hurt feelings.

Example #1: Judas Iscariot

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Church in the Boro

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Judas is among the most famous examples of false repentance in the Scriptures. He is most noted for being chosen as one of the twelve disciples by Jesus, only to turn around and betray Him. Judas sold Jesus out for thirty pieces of silver, the price of a slave in that day. We dont really know why Judas betrayed Jesus. We arent told anything explicitly about that. Perhaps he was tired of the Roman rule and wanted Jesus to be the King He said he was. So maybe Judas thought that if he instigated a conflict or showdown between them, Jesus would work some mighty magic and kill all the Romans and take the throne in Jerusalem. Another thought is that Judas was just plain greedy. He was the banker with the apostles, the one who kept all the money. We do see him after all in Matthew 26:9 complaining that perfume had been used to anoint Jesus instead of sold to supposedly give to the poor. I suspect Judas was just a money-grubber who was greedy and skimming off the top of everything that went into the bag. Regardless, we see this picture of him in Mark 14:10-11. Then Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve disciples, went to the leading priests to arrange to betray Jesus to them. They were delighted when they heard why he had come, and they promised to give him money. So he began looking for an opportunity to betray Jesus (NLT). That opportunity came when Jesus was praying with eleven of His disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane. Mark again tells the story in chapter 14. And immediately, even as Jesus said this, Judas, one of the twelve disciples, arrived with a crowd of men armed with swords and clubs. They had been sent by the leading priests, the teachers of religious law, and the elders. The traitor, Judas, had given them a prearranged signal: "You will know which one to arrest when I greet him with a kiss. Then you can take him away under guard." As soon as they arrived, Judas walked up to Jesus. "Rabbi!" he exclaimed, and gave him the kiss (NLT). After the illegal night court Jesus endured going back and forth between Herod and Pilate, it was Pilate who was finally persuaded by an angry mob to convict and condemn an innocent man to die by torture. And when Judas found this out, something clicked in his heart. It was repentance. But it was false repentance, or the worldly repentance Paul talked about in 2 Corinthians 7:10. Very early in the morning the leading priests and the elders of the people met again to lay plans for putting Jesus to death. Then they bound him, led him away, and took him to Pilate, the Roman governor. When Judas, who had betrayed him, realized that Jesus had been condemned to die, he was filled with remorse. So he took the thirty pieces of silver back to the leading priests and the elders. "I have sinned," he declared, "for I have betrayed an innocent man." "What do we care?" they retorted. "That's your problem." Then Judas threw the silver coins down in the Temple and went out and hanged himself (Matt. 27:1-5, NLT). Evidently, it was either Judas himself or else one of the religious leaders who took the money Judas threw back, who took the money and purchased the field where Judas body landed after hanging himself. According to Acts 1:18-19,

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Judas had bought a field with the money he received for his treachery. Falling headfirst there, his body split open, spilling out all his intestines. The news of his death spread to all the people of Jerusalem, and they gave the place the Aramaic name Akeldama, which means Field of Blood (NLT). What is obvious to us all is Judas statement in Matthew 27. I have sinnedfor I have betrayed an innocent man. Remember that part of repentance is recognizing that what youve done is wrong. Judas definitely did that. But when repentance stops there, it is false repentance, or worldly repentance. Judas repented in a worldly fashion that led him to commit suicide. Compare that with Peter who repented in a godly fashion that led him to be restored to and by Jesus. False repentance leads one to run away, hide, or die. It leads a person to become consumed by their own guilt, choosing not to believe that there is a way to be forgiven. Example 2: King Ahab There is perhaps no king so despicable in the Old Testament as King Ahab. He appears to be the most wicked and spineless king in Israels history, mainly because he was married to a control freak we know as Jezebel. Here is how 1 Kings 21:25-26 describes him. No one else so completely sold himself to what was evil in the LORD's sight as Ahab did under the influence of his wife Jezebel. His worst outrage was worshiping idols just as the Amorites had donethe people whom the LORD had driven out from the land ahead of the Israelites (NLT). Close to Ahabs palace was the vineyard of a man named Naboth. Much like David, King Ahab was being lazy one day. But instead of looking down and seeing a naked woman, he sees a vineyard he wants for himself. He asks Naboth for it, and Naboth refuses, because the land belonged to his family for generations. Ahab went inside his house and pitched a fit. In fact, his fit was so bad that he grew depressed and did not eat or drink for days. His wife would have no more of that kind of behavior so she hatched a simple plan: frame and kill Naboth for something he didnt do and take his vineyard. Then the prophet Elijah showed up and had a few words for Ahab. But the LORD said to Elijah, "Go down to meet King Ahab of Israel, who rules in Samaria. He will be at Naboth's vineyard in Jezreel, claiming it for himself. Give him this message: 'This is what the LORD says: Wasn't it enough that you killed Naboth? Must you rob him, too? Because you have done this, dogs will lick your blood at the very place where they licked the blood of Naboth!'" "So, my enemy, you have found me!" Ahab exclaimed to Elijah. "Yes," Elijah answered, "I have come because you have sold yourself to what is evil in the LORD's sight. So now the LORD says, 'I will bring disaster on you and consume you. I will destroy every one of your male descendants, slave and free alike, anywhere in Israel! I am going to destroy your family as I did the family of Jeroboam son of Nebat and the family of Baasha son of Ahijah, for you have made me very angry and have led Israel into sin.' "And regarding Jezebel, the LORD says, 'Dogs will eat Jezebel's body at the plot of land in Jezreel. "The members of Ahab's family who die in the city will be eaten by dogs, and those who die in the field will be eaten by vultures (1 Kings 21:17-24, NLT). No doubt, Elijahs prophesy of Ahabs punishment is one of the scariest in the Scriptures. But it is clear that God will not tolerate the kind of evil in any man that wants what another man has and so kills him
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to just take it for himself. Nor does God tolerate the murderous abuse of power in leaders who do the same for people weaker than themselves. The fear this must have set into Ahab was immense. And it was out of the fear of judgment and wrath that Ahab repentedin a worldly way. But when Ahab heard this message, he tore his clothing, dressed in burlap, and fasted. He even slept in burlap and went about in deep mourning. Then another message from the LORD came to Elijah: "Do you see how Ahab has humbled himself before me? Because he has done this, I will not do what I promised during his lifetime. It will happen to his sons; I will destroy his dynasty" (1 Kings 21:27-29, NLT). We know that Ahabs repentance was false repentance not because God didnt carry out the punishment on him, but because Ahab went back to doing what was wrong. In the very next chapter, 1 Kings 22, Ahab goes back to doing the same thing, taking land away from people, and this time uses false prophets to justify it! The King of Judah was a godly king and tried to tell him how ridiculous it was to ask 400 prophets and get the same answer. So Jehoshaphat asked about consulting with the prophet Micaiah. But Ahab hated him, because everything Micaiah had to say to Ahab was always bad. This time Micaiah told him that God had allowed a deceiving spirit to enter into the hearts of all four hundred of Ahabs beloved false prophets, and that is why they told him what they did. Nevertheless, Ahab went into battle anyway and he was killed. Heres how it happened. An Aramean soldier, however, randomly shot an arrow at the Israelite troops and hit the king of Israel between the joints of his armor. "Turn the horses* and get me out of here!" Ahab groaned to the driver of his chariot. "I'm badly wounded!" The battle raged all that day, and the king remained propped up in his chariot facing the Arameans. The blood from his wound ran down to the floor of his chariot, and as evening arrived he died. Just as the sun was setting, the cry ran through his troops: "We're done for! Run for your lives!" So the king died, and his body was taken to Samaria and buried there. Then his chariot was washed beside the pool of Samaria, and dogs came and licked his blood at the place where the prostitutes bathed,* just as the LORD had promised (1 Kings 22:34-38, NLT). False repentance is not being so scared of punishment that you go through a bunch of religious motions to try to convince God youre serious so He wont kill you. Thats superstition and paganism. Thats the way pagans all over the world live. They offer sacrifices to their many gods and goddesses and do all kinds of religious things just to make sure their gods and goddesses arent mad at them, so that they wont kill their crops, livestock, or families. Ahab was treating God like the Canaanite gods of his day, by going through religious, but biblical-looking motions in order to appease an angry god. But his worldly repentance never led to any genuine change. Charles Spurgeon, one of my favorite heroes and preachers of the gospel, preached it this way on Sunday morning, September 23, 1855. You, too, I tell you, may humble yourselves before God for a time, and yet remain the slaves of your transgressions. You are afraid of damnation, but you are not afraid of sinning: you are afraid of hell, but you are not afraid of your iniquities; you are afraid of being cast into the pit, but not afraid to harden your hearts against his commands. Is it not true, O sinner, that you are trembling at hell? It is not the soul's state that troubles you, but hell. If hell were extinguished, your repentance would be extinguished; if the terrors awaiting you were withdrawn, you would sin with a higher hand than before, and your soul would be hardened, and would rebel against its sovereign. Be not
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deceived, my brethren, here; examine yourselves whether you are in the faith; ask yourselves if you have that which is "repentance unto life;" for you may humble yourselves for a time, and yet never repent before God (Source: http://www.spurgeon.org/sermons/0044.htm). This leads me to conclude on false repentance in a very important way that you make sure you get.

Conclusion of False Repentance: Wrath and Judgment Dont Lead to Repentance

The difference between true and false repentance is fruit. That is what John the Baptist preached in Matthew 3:8 and Luke 3:8. Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. Or, prove your repentance by the life you live after you realize youre sorry for what you did. If you dont change course, youre not truly sorry, and youre not truly repentance. That said, I want to be clear to point out this most crucial element which confuses people about true and false repentance. Being scared of God judgment does NOT and can NOT lead you to repentance. Judgment only has one purpose and that is to inform you that you are going to die for your sins. And that naturally scares anybody. But if you think that being scared is enough to change your ways, youre wrong. We saw that with Ahab, didnt we? And with Judas. We could go on to many examples and show that in the lives of Esau and Cain that they too were scared but didnt change. Thats because fear is an emotion, and emotions cant change you. Theyre too fickle to have any strength or power to make a real change in your life. I found this out growing up in a Christian School where almost every chapel we were subjected to sermons from hellfire and damnation preachers. They scolded us young people about fornication, adultery, drugs, rock music, sex, lust, pornography, etc. They told us stories about young people who were killed in gruesome ways for their sin, and we were told God did it to them because they wouldnt repent. God definitely takes the lives of people for not repenting. But scaring people into repenting doesnt work. Because when the scare is over, life goes back to normal. And the answer is not to scare people in even bigger and better ways, with bigger and better stories. The answer to lead to people to repentance is Gods kindness and mercy. It is only when a person sees their sin for what it truly is, and then hears of the good news of Gods forgiveness and mercy, that they then hate their sin for all its worth and run to Jesus. Mercy leads people to repentance, not judgment, wrath and fear. Kindness leads people to want to turn from sin, and not angry scolding and preaching. I have made this mistake many times as a preacher, pastor and as a parent. Please hear me on this. Fear doesnt work. It only makes people run away from you and feel even more guilty than they already do. Jesus came to provide relief for the guilty. He came to set them free. He came to pronounce that He was going to take the judgment for them. He came to let them know that God is a God of love who has put His judgment on His own Son so that He could give the guilty mercy. He came to preach forgiveness of sins and freedom from guilt. This is why sinners, tax collectors, prostitutes, drunkards, bullies, thieves, and all manner of societal outcasts came running to follow Jesus. The religious society of their day had told them they were all condemned and worthless. Jesus came to say that God had forgiven them. Who do you suppose a criminal would be most attracted to? The religious leader who judges and condemns them? Or the person who says they are forgiven and set free?

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Godly sorrow does not spring

July 17, 2011

from a sense of the wrath of God in a broken law, but from His mercy in a blessed gospel; from a view by faith of the sufferings of Christ in the garden and on the cross; from a manifestation of pardoning love; and is always attended with self-loathing and self-abhorrence; with deep and unreserved confession of sin and forsaking it; with most hearty, sincere and earnest petitions to be kept from all evil; and a holy longing to live to the praise and glory of God. (J.C. Philpot)

Conclusion:
The best decision you can make today is to repent. And the second best decision you can make today is to run to Gods mercy because His judgment has already been given to Someone Else named Jesus Christ. The best way to repent is to read your Bible and read carefully for the stories that show over and over again how merciful God is, how patient and kind He is with those who continue to do what is wrong. When you get a taste of a God like that, you want to change because the thought of sinning against someone like that is horrifying even to the most wayward and messed-up person. Let me say two things in closing about getting a hold of true repentance in your life. First, just because you dont feel outrageously horrified and internally terrorized about the incredible rebellion against God in your sin, that doesnt mean you cant repent. I spent most of my childhood years and adult life thinking that if I didnt feel bad enough about my sin then I could not and had not truly repented. Think through this seriously and logically for a moment. Who is the only one that feels perfect hatred toward our sin? Thats right. Its God. And if thats true, then can you or I ever really feel perfect hatred toward our sin? No. Thats right. We cant. It is utterly impossible. We will never, EVER feel like God toward our sin. Therefore, your repentance is not validated by the feelings you feel about your sin. To a certain extent, there is emotion involved, as there is any time we hurt someone. But just because you have not experienced it to the depth you think you need to, does not mean you have not or are not repenting. Repenting means hating your sin and turning to God. If you hate it in any degree, and if you are turning to God in any degree, then you are repenting of your sin. I love what Charles Spurgeon had said on this point. It has been so encouraging to me. Beloved, let me tell you that there is not any eminent degree of "repentance" which is necessary to salvation. You know there are degrees of faith, and yet the least faith saves; so there are degrees of repentance, and the least repentance will save the soul if it is sincere. The Bible says, "He that believeth shall be saved," and when it says that, it includes the very smallest degree of faith. So when it says, "Repent and be saved," it includes the man who has the lowest degree of real repentance. Repentance, moreover, is never perfect in any man in this mortal state. We never get perfect faith so as to be entirely free from doubting; and we never get repentance which is free from some hardness of heart. The most sincere penitent that you know will feel himself to be partially impenitent. Repentance is also a continual life-long act. It will grow continually. It is a thing to be done all your life long. Sinning and repentingsinning and repenting, make up a Christian's life. Repenting and believing in Jesusrepenting and believing in Jesus, make up the consummation of his happiness. You must not expect that you will be perfect in "repentance" before you are saved. No Christian can
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be perfect. "Repentance" is a grace. this remark I think, ought to be applied to all Christians. Christian men and women, you feel that you have not deep enough repentance. You feel that you have not faith large enough. What are you to do? Ask for an increase of faith, and it will grow. So with repentance. Have you ever tried to get deep repentance? My friends, if you have failed therein, still trust in Jesus, and try every day to get a penitential spirit, Do not expect, I say again, to have perfect repentance at first; sincere penitence you must have, and then under divine grace you will go on from strength to strength (ibid).

Second, Christians feel guilt today not because they are truly guilty, but because the thought of having put Jesus to death for the thing they like to do creates massive conflict and sorrow in their minds and hearts. Their consciences cry out, How can you do this when Jesus just keeps on giving and giving and giving mercy, grace, kindness and patience?! How can you continue to commit this sin against an innocent man who took your place under Gods wrath?! Youve only forgotten how beautiful Jesus is in every way. Come back to Him. He will restore you! He loves you! He wants you! He forgives you! This is what I seem to hear in my head when I sin. This is what it looks like and feels like to grieve the Holy Spirit when you sin. The Spirit is the Spirit of Christ, so when He is grieved, Christ is grieved. And since Christ lives in you, when Christ is grieved, so are you. Grief is terrible to feel, but a very good teacher. It teaches us not to sin again against such a lovely teacher. This is why its important to read your Bibles. You read not because youre supposed to, but because it leads you to see the kindness and mercy of God, which therefore leads you to repent. And thats why its important to pray. You pray not because youre supposed to, but because it gives you an opportunity to stretch out your hands and arms and receive the love and forgiveness and provision and protection of God. Thats why its important to praise and worship God. You praise and worship not just to get a momentary escape from your lifes problems. You praise and worship because the words and music to the songs we sing put my heart and mind dead center on the love, forgiveness, mercy, grace, kindness, and patience of God. All of these things lead me to make decisions to say NO! to ungodly things, because we are so in love with God that we dont want to hurt Him or grieve Him, or stomp on the joy we have in Him! Decide today to be done with your sin, whatever it is, and whatever it looks like. Ask God for the gifts only He can givefaith and repentance. Ask HIM to make your heart believe what He says and to give you the supernatural ability to turn from sin. Then believe Him for it, and go out and do it. Then thank Him for that repentance and celebrate it all day long! Then read His word, and pray, and sing, and worship so that your heart can be filled with His love and mercy and grace. Then repent some more. Then celebrate and party more over it. Do this and I promise you will grow in the grace of repentance.

Rob Wilkerson

Church in the Boro

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Issues for Individual Study or Group Discussion

Repentance 102: Two Responses to Repentance
There are two responses to this message of repentance today. The first response comes from the person who has actually sinned, or who is caught in some habit of sinning in the same way over and over again. Your response is simple. Pray for God to give you a heart of repentance, and then repent. In 2 Peter 3:9 He himself says that He is being patient for your sale. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent (NLT). In Romans 2: 4, Paul writes a similar thought: Dont you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Cant you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin? (NLT). If you are sinning in some way or have sinned, your response is to thank God for His kindness and patience and to ask Him to fill your heart with a desire and ability to repent from your sin. Pray asking Him to give you what He Himself said He wants to give you. And when you have poured out your heart to God for this gift of repentance, go out and do it. Spend time thinking about how you will stop it. Spend time making a plan. Repentance doesnt just come in a fleeting moment. It is a plan to stop doing what you are doing because you see how wrong it is and hate it! The second response comes from the person who has been sinned against. This one is just as difficult, because to some degree it will require repentance even from you! Why is that? Well, whats the first gut reaction to someone who has hurt us? Thats right. It is to hurt them back, make them pay, hold a grudge, etc. But listen to what Jesus says to those of you who have been offended or sinned against. Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, I repent, you must forgive him (Luke 17:3-4, ESV). This can be a difficult concept and a difficult text. Its a difficult concept because of the first gut-reaction we have to someone whos hurt us. Yet Jesus tells us right off the bat, Pay attention to yourselves! He says that because He knows that when were hurt we need to guard ourselves and our hearts and our mouths from that first gut-reaction to sin back at them. Instead, we must forgive them. This is a difficult text because on the one hand Jesus comes right out and says forgive someone IF they repent. And then on the other hand He comes right and says forgive them even if all they say is, I repent! Putting the two together is easier than it may seem. In short, forgive and forgive and forgive all day long. But when it appears obvious to you and everyone else involved that this persons profession of I repent! is not bearing any fruit, then their repentance is false repentance, and forgiveness is no longer granted. This is another one of those paradoxes, with two theological truths in serious tension. Jesus says always forgive. But then He says there are situations where we are not to forgive. Essentially this means choosing to remember their sin so that we can constantly talk to them about it so that they will repent from it. This process is known as church discipline and is found in passages like Matthew 18:15-19. If the person being rebuked doesnt listen to one person, and doesnt listen to a couple more people, and doesnt listen to the church, then Jesus says, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector (v. 17, NLT).
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Jesus then goes on to tell the disciples that whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven (v. 18). Theres a clear sense of solidarity here when the church and its leadership are acting together on a matter concerning sin and repentance and forgiveness. God forgives when the church forgives. And Jesus Himself taught that when the church does not forgive, He himself does not forgive. Just before ascending to heaven Jesus taught His apostles, If you forgive anyones sins, they are forgiven. If you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven (John 20:23, NLT). In summary, you and I are to forgive every single person who has ever sinned against us or will sin against us, no matter how many times they say, I repent! But there comes a time in a persons life when their statement to have repented means nothing in light of the total absence of the fruit of repentance. And when that happens, the church acts as a whole, as a corporate body to put such a person out of the community of faith, no longer extending forgiveness. Yet even all of this is done with the spirit of hopefully restoring the person back to the community of faith if and when they repent. So as far as each of you is concerned as individuals, forgive every time. But there have come times in the life of our church where we have had to act in solidarity against unrepentance, and weve had to do so with the non-forgiveness Jesus teaches about so that their consciences and hearts will live with the sting of unforgiveness so that they will repent and return to us.

Repentance 203: Difficult Issues in Repentance

Personal Difficulties: Key questions are usually the way of determining if a person is truly repentance. Each of these questions requires time to think, which is again, what the Greek word for repent implies (to think after). Looking back, thinking over it all again, would you do the same thing again? What would you do differently? How do you think your sin affected your spouse? Your child? So-and-so? How about God? What does God say about what you did? What do you think about what God says? How do you feel about what God says? Is there honestly a desire deep down inside to really stop doing this thing? On a scale of 0-10, where is that desire, with 10 being a 100% desire and a 0 being a 0% desire?

Theological Difficulties: Repentance is something that God requires, that Jesus demands, that the Spirit gives, but that we are responsible to do. The Bible teaches that God requires repentance from those who sin (Matt. 3:2; Mark 1:15; Acts 2:38; 3:19) The Bible teaches that Jesus demands repentance from unbelievers (Matt. 4:17; Luke 13:1-3) The Bible teaches that repentance is a gift sovereignly given by the Spirit (Matt. 11:20, 21; Acts 5:31; 11:18; 2 Tim. 2:25) The Bible teaches that every person is responsible to repent. This is a paradox that frustrates many people, and even drives some away from following Jesus. But the fact remains that only the Christian can truly repent from sins. The ability to do that is a gift from the Holy Spirit. It comes into a person when the Holy Spirit saves him or her, and indwells them. Yet even
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though an unbeliever does not have this gift of repentance, God still requires them to obey His demands and commands to repent. They can easily acquire this gift by asking for it, since it is free and the Father gives it freely when anyone asks and believes.

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