CHAPTER NINETEEN

AN INCONVENIENT REALITY

***

‘To that end,’ Professor Reknaw said into the microphone. ‘I have perfected the Global
Environmental Protection System!’
The auditorium before him erupted in applause. For years, Professor Reknaw had
strived to combat the effects of pollution; he had made it his life’s work to reverse
humanity’s effect on planet Earth. Now, that goal would be achieved.
‘The G.E.P.S. will monitor global pollution levels and will use the tools at its disposal to
rectify problems such as climate change, global warming and after that half hour, it’ll
even solve the litter crisis.’
‘So you keep saying,’ a voice drawled from the back row of the auditorium. ‘It’s a miracle
in technological advancement, a machine that will not only have artificial intelligence
that can almost rival that of a sentient brain, but it can better itself, make itself smarter.
Professor, you’ve created something that should be able to think like a human …’ The
speaker rose from his chair and ran a hand over his shaved hair before folding his arms
defiantly at the podium. ‘But since that brain is stuck inside a shell that can’t feel, can’t
love, can never experience or comprehend emotions … what you’ve created is a monster.’
Professor Reknaw’s lips pursed. ‘Doctor Skylar,’ he said curtly. ‘I didn’t expect to
see you here. Security had orders to prevent your entry.’
Doctor Skylar’s eyes narrowed as he drummed his fingers on the arms of his black
jacket. ‘Beside the point wouldn’t you agree, Professor? We’re discussing your miracle
device.’
‘Though your one and only goal here, and at every one of my seminars thus far has been
to nit-pick and criticise,’ Reknaw frowned. ‘With little evidence other than your own
delusional fantasies of disaster.’
Skylar’s mouth twitched into a sneer. ‘They’re more than fantasies.’
Professor Reknaw’s eyebrows flew up, he gestured around the room with his
hands at the audience.
‘Nobody else here can find any issue with my system, Doctor Skylar. You stand alone …
a single voice in the darkness … my very own doubting Thomas. You will see this time
next month just exactly how wrong you’ve always been.’
‘But what if it’s you that’s proved wrong, Damian?’ Skylar spat, striding down the central
steps and advancing onto the podium. ‘I mean, it’s a moot point really, you’ll go ahead no
matter what I say. Most would argue that in the past seven months begging you to
reconsider I’ve been doing nothing but waste my precious time. But I swear to you,
Professor, to everybody here. The G.E.P.S. will bring with it nothing but untold disaster
and destruction. Chaos on a level that no human could possibly dare to fathom. And
when it does … I’ll be the one left picking up the pieces.’
‘And who asked you to take responsibility?’ Professor Reknaw scowled. ‘You’re not part of
any recognised authority, you have no real support, there’s no record of you obtaining
those doctorates you claim to possess. What makes you think a raving lunatic with no
support is going to stop me where death threats and two assassination attempts by the
oil companies’ agents and other conglomerates have failed?’
Professor Reknaw chuckled as his supporters shouted abuse at Doctor Skylar,
demanding his removal. With surprising agility, the doctor evaded the advancing security
team and took hold of the microphone. ‘People please! Listen to me! One thing! One thing
only and I’ll leave. Believe me; what I’ve said is true! There are ships coming. Vessels that
will take everybody far away from Earth when this thing turns on you all! Please! Make
preparations! If I’m proved wrong then I’m proved wrong! But don’t, for pity sake ignore
me completely! JUST THINK!’ He shouted as he was finally overpowered by security.
‘JUST THINK WHAT COULD HAPPEN IF I’M RIGHT!’
 Professor Reknaw smirked and gave a mock wave to Doctor Skylar as he was
escorted away. The man shouted some curse words in a language Reknaw didn’t
understand as he was hauled away. Reknaw shrugged mockingly for the crowd and
straightened his tie with a massive grin of amusement. ‘Everyone’s a critic,’ he chuckled,
straightening his notes. ‘Now …’ he said, clearing his throat. ‘Where was I?’

***

‘His name is The Manager,’ Freaka-chu said solemnly as he paced around the hexagonal
control panel of his star craft.
Red was still marvelling at the limitless interior capacities of the vessel that the
Video Lord had called an X-500 Series RETARDIS, an acronym that stood for something
that Freaka-chu said far too quickly for Red to take in.
Since he had removed the visor, Freaka-chu had been a far different man than the
utterly confused amnesiac that stumbled from situation to situation blindly, commenting
on everything that occurred to him … actually in that department the change wasn’t
exactly vast. But he was now more confident of what he was doing. His whole manner
had changed and where before there had been a man without an identity with a head full
of knowledge he didn’t know what to do with, there now existed the last of the Video
Lords.
He had disappeared down one of the several corridors that led off to goodness
knows where and had returned in a new outfit that comprised of brown cargo pants,
converse trainers, a white shirt and a long black coat. He had hung one of the longest
multi-coloured scarves Red had ever seen around his neck and had returned with a
morose expression.
‘He was, at one time, a teacher in the Video Lord Academy on our home world,’ Freaka-
chu continued, checking terminals and adjusting dials as he went. ‘He was my teacher
for a time actually. He was an arsehole even then. But, after a while he started to get
ideas above his station, delusions of grandeur. He became convinced that the Video
Lord’s purpose to monitor the trafficking and use of video entertainment throughout the
universe was futile and irrelevant. So, instead he left our home world and began plotting
to overthrow the galaxy. He wanted power, to be supreme overlord of the entire Universe.
‘He had several names, we all do, it’s like, a change of scenery, difference in the
pace – and now for something completely different – that kind of thing. You,’ he said,
looking up at Red. ‘Knew him briefly as Aluicius Erikessel, an antique dealer. But that
was just an elaborate cover as you know. In truth, he was hiding out to recover his
strength, stealing the life force of others in order to prolong his own existence. It’s a …
uhmm … I was going to say ability, but it’s a cruel trick really. Some thoughtless
evolutional trait that all Video Lords are capable of. We have thirteen lives to use, each
one capable of five thousand years and still for some that’s not enough. People like The
Manager always want more.
‘I was tracking a band of rogue Sultana mercenaries that were operating out of a
warehouse. They were building a nuclear fission reactor, trying to create enough power
to form a portal large enough to bring their entire invasion fleet through onto Earth and
conquer it so that … well … that’s beside the point … I stopped them … But it was
during the whole cleanup when I heard about the murders. I recognized the signs
immediately and tracked The Manager down. Unfortunately, you and your friend were
there before me and … You know the rest. The Manager got away in his RETARDIS
before I could stop him. It’s different than mine but it does the same thing. It can go
anywhere, anywhen. I had to chase him while I could still follow his dematerialisation
trail; they fade too quickly to chance it. That’s why I had to slip away … I’m sorry Red …
It seems I can’t go anywhere without leaving a trail of destruction behind me.’

Red frowned hard at Freaka-chu and chewed on his lip. The story had only gotten
stranger. He had expected that when he found the Man in the Red Velvet Coat, things
would become clearer and he’d have a simple explanation. People would no longer think
he was crazy when he told them what really happened on that day. Somehow he didn’t
think that was possible in these circumstances. Now, instead of two strangers being
involved, one of which seemingly having the power to steal people’s life energy, he now
had two near-enough immortal beings from the far reaches of space who traversed the
universe in ships that could transcend time and go anywhere, anywhen. He could lay his
hands on neither man because one was now another person entirely and the other one
was dead, along with the rest of his race.
‘Is it possible that he survived?’ Red asked, folding his arms.
Freaka-chu shook his head. ‘… I’m the last one … they’re all dead … all of them …
it’s … it’s just me now … all alone,’ he absently patted the control panel of the
RETARDIS, a far-away look on his face. ‘Yeah …’ he said.
‘You survived,’ Red commented. ‘If this guy is as devious as you say then maybe he
survived too.’
‘I’d know,’ Freaka-chu replied. ‘I’d be able to feel it … but …now … there’s just … nothing
… nothing at all.’ He suddenly raced around to the other side of the console and began to
attack the buttons, twirling dials and pulling on levers. ‘Still, no use in dwelling on
things you can’t change! Can I drop you off anywhere?’
‘What do you mean?’ Red frowned. ‘You’re not leaving already?’
Freaka-chu looked up and shrugged. ‘Why not? Can’t stay in one place! There’s a
universe out there! …’ He looked up with wide eyes and smiled. ‘You should come with
me!’ He grinned.
‘No, no,’ Red said firmly. ‘First of all, you are going to come with me and tell my superiors
that I’m not a lunatic!’
Freaka-chu puffed. ‘You mean I should tell them that your partner was killed by
an alien who can suck the life out of people? An alien that’s now dead thanks to an
intergalactic war between two races of which, I am the only survivor but I don’t look like I
used to anymore because I died a bit and Degenerated using a random DNA sample? I’m
sure they’ll believe that … yes, why not? There’s nothing crazy about that story at all!’
‘So, what am I supposed to do then?’ Red frowned as Freaka-chu reached over and
grabbed the largest lever on the control panel. He grinned.
‘Well, you could try holding on for a start,’ he said, nodding at the security rail as he
pulled down the lever.
The glass column in the centre of the control panel burst into life. The green
crystals inside interlocking with eachother and moving away again systematically as the
entire craft began to shake.
‘Might be a little bumpy!’ Freaka-chu shouted as the machine’s engines roared into life.
VROOOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOK!
The craft lurched violently to one side; Freaka-chu stumbled back into a
conveniently placed arm chair while Red was vaulted over the security rail onto the grid
iron deck.
‘Where are we going?!’ Red thundered over the drone of the engines.
‘I’m taking you back to ALLUC!’ Freaka-chu shouted back. ‘But then again, we could end
up somewhere else!’
‘Somewhere else?’ Red exclaimed.
‘It was programmed to take me to places where there’s trouble!’ Freaka-chu replied. ‘But
I did a little fiddling with it and now it just goes wherever it pleases. Somewhere I’m
needed, or somewhere I actually programmed it to go … or sometimes, it makes up its
own destination … though it gives me a little leeway when it’s in the mood. The whole
thing’s a little hit and miss!’
VROOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOK!
VROOOOOOOOOOK!
‘Why could we not have just walked then?!’ Red thundered.
Freaka-chu raised an eyebrow. ‘Where’s the fun in that?!’

Buster stood, looking out over Darkwhisper Gorge. He could hear the roar of this
World of Warcraft’s mighty beasts echoing off the mountains around him. A sly smile
spread between his lips as he saw a giant troll lumbering towards him, brandishing a
large club weapon. Its sunken eyes regarded him over his tusks that dripped with rank
saliva; the beast was hungry for blood.
Buster could smell the rotten odour that festered around the animal and raised
his sleeve up over his nose and mouth. The creature was magnificent. It would serve his
purpose and then some. He was laughing as he raised his hand at the beast and was
laughing even louder as his eyes flashed. The powerful animal looked momentarily
bewildered before recognition spread over its face, and the colossus winked at him,
joining in the cackle that signalled the dawning of a new and very dangerous age.

***

The searchlights overhead swept across the baron landscape the stretched out in
all directions. Only the giant stone pillars carved through the planet’s own evolution
remained, simply because removing them would have wasted both time and effort.
The compound the housed the central system of the G.E.P.S. loomed over its
empty surroundings like a Colossus of stone. What so many had feared upon its
activation were quickly rewarded with their fears becoming a reality. The system was
supposed to clean up the planet. It used smaller machines to clean the air, to filter
through the oceans, to protect wildlife and the rainforests. Forty-eight seconds after it
had been activated; the G.E.P.S. had reached its first conclusions about what had to be
done.
It could clean the planet with little trouble. It had all the necessary tools to do it.
However, the problem was that it would not stay clean. Thanks to humanity, there would
always be a need for it to sustain the balance. The solution was simple, and the G.E.P.S.
used its tools to wipe all life from the planet.
Earth was clean and no longer in danger of being polluted or abused. The G.E.P.S.
had done its work efficiently. It had succeeded in its mission. While many billions had
fled, the G.E.P.S. considered its work, as far as Earth was concerned, complete.
However, the G.E.P.S. had been dwelling on other matters. It had the most
advanced technology at its disposal that would now no longer be required. Its work was
finished and it should power down until it was needed again … which would never
happen. The G.E.P.S. was caught in a quandary of logic and thusly, it turned its
attention skyward. The humans that had fled must have gone somewhere. Logic dictated
that there must be billions upon billions of inhabited worlds out there in the Universe.
The law of averages dictated that some, if not all of them must undoubtedly be
overrun by life forms who took their planets for granted, possibly even the humans that
had escaped Earth.
The G.E.P.S. could not allow such events to occur. It would rectify the situation
planet by planet until the entire Universe was safe.

***

Bidding the other Moderators goodbye, Vash led Arina, Angelus and The Martian
Manhunter off once more towards the Exit Portal. They were half way down the Index
section when a man in a leather jacket jumped up onto one of the tables and shouted
across the forum.
‘NOBODY MOVE!’ He shouted wildly, pulling up a sports bag and opening it to reveal a
large bomb inside. ‘I’M HERE TO DESTROY THE WORLD!’
Some people screamed and fled through the exit portal. Others threw themselves
to the floor and cowered, one person threw an empty beer can at the terrorist, hitting
him squarely between the eyes.
‘Jazz has found you guilty of failing!’ Jazz Valentine shouted, readying another can from
the buffet table, this one was full.
‘Throw that can and everybody dies!’ The leather-jacket wearing terrorist cried, flicking
switches on the nuclear bomb he held so readily in his hands. ‘All I have to do is take my
finger off the trigger device, and the world will end!’
 Arina sighed and put her gun away. She had been trained in negotiation tactics
and knew that waving a gun at an edgy terrorist probably wasn’t the best way to get
them calmed down.
‘TURN IT OF OR I’LL SHOOT!’ Elion exclaimed, taking out his Zap Gun and advancing
towards the bomber.
‘Perfect,’ Arina sighed, holding her forehead.
‘You can’t stop me!’ the bomber declared. ‘I repeat! I’m here to destroy the world!’
‘Why would he repeat that?’ Totoro frowned to Jeebus. ‘I cannot see how that message
could have been misinterpreted.’
‘MORE FAILURE!’ Jazz shouted and lobbed the second can, narrowly missing the man’s
head.
‘I’m holding a nuclear bomb!’ the terrorist fumed back. ‘And you’re throwing things at
me?’
‘Jazz Valentine does what he feels is necessary to combat failure in all its forms,’ Jazz
replied casually, examining his nails.
‘None of you are helping!’ Arina said loudly stepping forward through the crowd slowly.
‘So, why don’t we all stop harassing this man, and instead, why don’t we all listen to
what he has to say?’
‘Don’t wanna,’ Richy shrugged.
‘His failure is epic,’ Dazzler added.
‘Is it a new kind of spamming he’s up to?’ BJ, a Link Hunter asked, leaning over the
buffet table. ‘Death threats?’
‘Can’t last long if it is,’ Belle Rose, another member shrugged. ‘Somebody will call him on
it before long.’
‘You guys really aren’t helping the situation,’ Jason commented from a nearby doorway.
‘I’ve said all I need to,’ the bomber shrugged. ‘I’m here to blow up the world.’
‘So you’ve said,’ Arina sighed. ‘Why don’t we start with why you want to destroy the
world and we’ll make our way from there.’
The bomber shifted uneasily. ‘Because it’s all your fault! You’re the cause of it all!
You create that thing! And now! Now its time that you all paid for what you’re going to
do!’

***

‘THEY COME!’ The sentry at the turret shouted.

‘Too soon,’ Commander Vross said through gritted teeth, rising from his chair. ‘How long
do we have?’
The building suddenly rocked as a missile struck the defences above them. ‘Never
mind,’ Vross said, steadying himself as he raced across to the communications array.
‘Get me the lab,’ he snapped at the anxious young technician sitting at the coms unit
who saluted and obliged the command.

Teed stood hunched over the schematics on the screen before him. Concern
registered on his face as Emil marched past with the same expression of determination
he had been wearing for the past several months.
The communication screen on the wall suddenly buzzed into life, dissolving into
the face of Commander Vross.
‘They’ve begun they’re attack,’ Commander Vross said urgently. ‘How long until you are
able to execute the mission?’
‘A matter of moments,’ Emil said sternly as he snapped the detonator onto the nuclear
bomb that sat on the exam table next on the perimeter of the giant steel dome that
housed the temporal relocator.
‘Then we may be dead before you execute the final plan,’ Vross said as a violent shake in
the central command building rocked him from his position momentarily. ‘We salute you
Agent Duffy,’ he said, looking at Emil. ‘May the stars watch over you.’
The screen went blank.
‘Easy for him to say,’ Teed said. ‘He is not the one who has been asked to destroy a
planet.’
‘It’s necessary,’ Emil said, shrugging on his leather jacket as he wrenched open the hatch
that led into the metal dome. He grabbed the nuclear bomb and clutched it tightly to him
as he stepped inside.
‘Fare well,’ Teed said sadly as he closed the doors.

Duffy closed his eyes as he sat down in the centre of the chamber. The science
was far from precise and it was difficult to know whether or not he would hit his
intended target. If all went well, he would arrive on the eve of the G.E.P.S’s activation,
destroying it and the entire planet. If all did not go to plan and he arrived too early, he
would carry out his mission regardless. As long as there were no humans left on Earth to
create such a machine, he would have done his work well. No planet, no foolish ideals of
creating machines to clean it. He just prayed that if things went wrong, he would arrive
too early rather than too late. If he arrived after the activation, then all would be lost.
He just had to hope against hope that they he had gotten the calculations right.

***

‘YOUR STUPID MACHINE ALMOST DESTROYED HALF THE GALAXY!’ The bomber, who
had announced his name as Duffy, shouted wildly, tears in his eyes. ‘MY PLANET WAS
ON THE VERGE OF DESTRUCTION BECAUSE OF IT!’
‘Boo-hoo,’ Jazz jeered. ‘Jazz suggests murder-suicide!’
Jason cast Jazz a glare. ‘You muppet! That’s exactly what we don’t want him to
do!’
‘Worst thing to say to a madman with a nuclear bomb, ever,’ Danny added.
‘Did somebody say muppets?’ Shblandex asked in his high-pitched voice as his cloaked
head looked eagerly around the room. ‘Where?’
‘FOOLS!’ Duffy cried over the commotion and volley of abuse that was being slung
towards him now. ‘You obviously don’t realize how serious I am!’
‘I realize you’re a complete idiot with a nuclear bomb,’ Elion said, shaking his head.
‘Just like George Bush!’ Pun spoke up.
An awkward silence descended as people slowly turned their heads to look
disapprovingly at Pun. ‘YAY!’ Pun cried as a tumbleweed rolled past him. ‘Everybody’s
looking at me! Attention! YES!’
‘An idiot?’ Duffy spat. ‘I’m one of the most brilliant scientists of my home world! Possibly
the most intelligent being you will ever encounter, you simpleton!’
Elion raised an eyebrow at Duffy. ‘You know your fly’s open, right?’
With a look of alarm, Duffy frantically checked.
‘Gotcha,’ Elion snickered.
‘ENOUGH!’ Duffy declared. ‘I have travelled across the Galaxy! I have travelled through
time! I scarified everything to come here and destroy the humans of Earth before they can
build the G.E.P.S! There is absolutely nothing that you can say or do to stop me! You
humans are a disease, a virus. You weren’t content destroying your own planet; you had
to go after every civilised world that your filthy machine could reach!’
The people that had been trying to listen to Duffy had to strain their ears to make
out what he was saying now. As he had been giving his speech, almost foaming at the
mouth, a noise, like the tortured grinding of ancient gears infiltrated The Mercury
Rooms.
VROOOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOK!
The sound escalated as a red post box materialized out of thin air in the middle of
the Index Section.
VROOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOK!
VROOOOOOOOOOK!
‘Awe,’ Pun muttered despairingly. ‘Now nobody’s paying attention to me at all now.’
The door on the front of the post box flipped open, kicked by a black converse-
laden foot, followed by its owner.
‘Ah,’ Freaka-chu smiled happily as he looked around him. ‘I really didn’t think that was
going to work.’
‘I should be thankful then,’ Red commented, exiting the craft behind him.
‘Well, like I said,’ Freaka-chu shrugged as he slowly took in the surroundings. ‘It’s … a
little … hit … and miss … … … should I ask what’s going on here?’ He asked looking
from Duffy, wielding the giant bomb, to the concerned faces of several onlookers. ‘Or will
I only be disappointed with what I hear?’
‘I’M GOING TO DESTROY THE WORLD!’ Duffy screamed angrily at the constant
interruptions.
‘He keeps saying that,’ Vash whispered to Red.
Freaka-chu nodded. ‘Lovely,’ he said to Duffy. ‘Can I ask why?’
‘We’ve been through this,’ Danny groaned.
‘Many times, Shblandex is getting bored!’ Shblandex announced.
‘Oh, that’s hardly fair!’ Freaka-chu protested. ‘I’ve only just got here. I feel like I’ve walked
in to a movie late and missed all the important plot points. It’s like I’ve turned over two
pages at once! Come on then, who’s going to fill me in?’
Elion groaned and spoke up. ‘This lunatic’s got a bomb. He’s going to destroy the
world because humans in the future invent something called a Jeep-’
‘G.E.P.S!’ Duffy corrected angrily.
‘Yeah, that,’ Elion nodded. ‘It’s a massive eco-friendly thing that kills everybody because
it’s the only way to keep the planet clean forever.’
Freaka-chu nodded along as Elion recounted Duffy’s position. When he was
finished, the Video Lord thrust his hands deep into his pockets and turned to Duffy.
‘So, you’re from the future then?’
‘Two-thousand years,’ Duffy said through gritted teeth.
‘Really?’ Freaka-chu said, impressed. ‘How’d you manage that then? Surely you must be
using a spatial co-efficient to intercept the problem of planetary drift … what planet are
you from exactly? From the look of you, I’d guess you’re from the Alvian Cluster. You
look human enough, but there’s subtle differences … oh, good grief!’ Freaka-chu slapped
his forehead. ‘You’re an elf aren’t you!’
‘Stop stalling for time!’ Duffy shouted. ‘It’s time to end this!’
‘Oh, I couldn’t agree more, Mister Elf,’ Freaka-chu said, waving a hand dismissively as he
pulled over a chair and lounged in it happily. ‘Knock yourself out; fill your boots,
whatever floats your boat.’
‘What are you doing?’ Red demanded hotly. ‘STOP HIM!’
‘Nah,’ Freaka-chu puffed. ‘Let him have his moment. He’s come all this way … and I’m
betting there’s no way back for him.’
‘He’s going to destroy the world!’ Jason said pointedly, moving over to Freaka-chu,
balling his fists. ‘Do something!’
‘No he’s not,’ Freaka-chu replied, putting his hands behind his head.
‘YES I AM!’ Duffy retorted. ‘YOU CAN’T STOP ME!’
‘I don’t have to,’ Freaka-chu shrugged. ‘You can’t do it.’
‘Are you saying I don’t have the guts?’ Duffy barked. ‘My people might have respect for all
life, but if Earth survives, then The G.E.P.S. will be the biggest threat to all life
everywhere that there’s ever been.’
‘I doubt that,’ Freaka-chu shrugged. ‘But no, I’m not disputing your gall; I’m saying that
it’s actually physically impossible for you to destroy the world. You’re creating a self-
destructive paradox. If you destroy the Earth then your planet will never be in danger, so
there’s no reason for you to come here to destroy the Earth, meaning that the machine
still gets made because there was nobody to stop it.
‘It’s already happened, so you can’t change it. Events necessary to your journey
are the cause of your arrival here, thusly, the very fact that you are here proves to me
that you cannot destroy the Earth for these reasons.’
‘Oh, I’m getting a headache,’ Mooney moaned.
‘You’re bluffing!’ Duffy declared.
Freaka-chu rose from his seat and narrowed his eyes, his lip curling. ‘Try me,’ he
said defiantly.
 *

‘So, there was never any real danger at all then?’ Elion nodded happily from the large
armchair he had seated himself in inside the Administrators and Moderator’s Section.
‘Not really,’ Freaka-chu shrugged. ‘I mean, not unless there was a loophole that I
overlooked that could bring all of the causational effects to fruition regardless of him
detonating a nuclear bomb here … Its lucky he didn’t try in the end … could have been
messy.’
‘I’d prefer not to think about that,’ Red said, moving uneasily in his own chair.
‘IT IS YET ANOTHER CATASTROPHE NARROWLY AVOIDED,’ Vatex said.
‘Really,’ Freaka-chu said. ‘Don’t mention it. Like I said, there was only ever a teeny-tiny-
itsy-bitsy-measly possibility of him actually being able to use the bomb ... sort of …
slightly … kinda … a bit.’
‘Still, I’ll bet Arina and Angelus will see he lives to regret even trying,’ Danny smiled. ‘I
wonder what the penalty for trying to blow up the world is.’
‘Probably something really painful,’ Jason said hopefully.
‘It’s still weird that he chose to come here to do it though,’ Vash said ponderously.
‘He probably had his reasons,’ Freaka-chu shrugged. ‘Or it was a mistake, more than
likely the latter. Whatever reason, it was probably stranger than most people’s … Having
said that … I hope they’re not too hard on him. He was doing the only thing he thought
he could do … albeit genocide, but still … sometimes it comes to that … or more … I can
see his dilemma.’
‘Desperate people do desperate things,’ Vash nodded.
‘I still cannot believe that you’re a Video Lord, Freaka-chu,’ Totoro said quietly.
‘INDEED,’ Fink said morosely. ‘IT APPEARS THAT WE HAVE BROKEN MANY
HUNDREDS OF YOUR LAWS.’
Freaka-chu shook his head. ‘Not all of us agreed with those … and I’d hardly say
there’s a possibility of them still being in effect. I’m not going to be enforcing them. I’m
actually really excited about what you’ve done here. I can’t think of a better way to use
Videos than sharing them.’
‘THANK YOU, VIDEO LORD,’ Fink replied.
‘Pah! Away with your formalities,’ Freaka-chu puffed. ‘You’ve made something fantastic
here. All of you have. It’s the biggest two-fingered salute to my race that there ever could
be … but, I can’t say that I mind in the slightest,’ he smiled as the far-off look appeared
on his face again.
‘So, what are you going to do now?’ Danny asked eagerly. ‘Are you going to go travelling
in time again?’
‘Probably,’ Freaka-chu nodded as he looked around. ‘I should probably go deal with this
G.E.P.S situation … I’ll find out more from Duffy, if and when he gets out of prison …
however, at this point, I don’t see any real rush, no matter if I go now or in my next life
it’ll still happen … no matter how quickly I rush … The future’s not going anywhere.’
‘THAT IS FORTUNATE,’ Vatex said. ‘AS IT HAPPENS, WE HAVE RECENTLY LOST ONE
OF OUR MODERATORS.’
‘Yeah!’ Red said angrily to Freaka-chu. ‘Just wait ‘til I get my hands on your wife!’
There was a moment of awkward silence before Fink spoke up.
‘WE WOULD BE GREATLY HONOURED … IF YOU WOULD … THAT IS TO SAY …
SHOULD YOU SEE YOUR WAY CLEAR TO …’ Fink fumbled over his words.
‘YOU WANNA BE OUR NEW MODERATOR?’ Krizzo cut in with a huff.
Freaka-chu blinked several times as he registered the proposal before thrusting
his hands deep into his pockets again and smiled warmly. ‘I don’t see any reason why
not,’ he grinned.
‘Good,’ Elion said, grabbing a spare Zap Gun from the wall rack. ‘Welcome aboard.’
Freaka-chu regarded the weapon with dark eyes and looked up menacingly at
Elion. ‘No,’ he shook his head. ‘Put it back … I don’t do guns … not now … don’t ever try
to put a weapon in my hands again.’
‘Alright,’ Elion rolled his eyes, putting the Zap Gun back into its mooring. ‘Sheesh …
melodrama much?’
‘Sorry,’ Freaka-chu said. ‘I’ve had my fill of death.’
‘Understandable,’ Totoro said sagely as the door to the section suddenly burst open.
‘HEY GUYS,’ Mooney said urgently as he fluttered into the room. ‘THERE’S A GUY
OUTSIDE. HE SAYS HE’S HERE TO SHUT DOWN THE MERCURY ROOMS.’