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LIFE HURTS, GOD HEALS SERIES You Cant Help Me

In conjunction with Saddleback HSM Messages Goes with GET HELP messages.

YOU CANT HELP ME.


Concept and original script by Ted Lowe, Johnny Baker. Changes and additions by Eddie James

Who: Date Guy(D), Nervous son (S), Peter (P), Jesus (J) What: Unwillingness to admit failure When: Present Day Wear: (Props) Cell phone or telephone and chair. Why: (scripture) Please see HSM outlines for several scripture references

LIFE HURTS, GOD HEALS SERIES You Cant Help Me


(Date Guy enters confidently and looks into imaginary mirror. Have fun with this scene. Add your verbiage that can be great pick up lines that guys use. Jesus stands in the background watching.) D: Yes, well I know that this is our first date but Im really excited. No, that sounds too corny. How about, How you doing? Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? No, shell think Im the biggest dork. I want her to like me so bad. If only I hadanything but me to offer. Dont sell yourself short on this one. Thats another thing. Im shorter than most guys. What if shes taller than me? Whats that smell? Is that me? Oh my, Im so nervous my pits are smelling like a three day old taco. Im going to call her and cancel. I dont take time to make junk. (Walks up to Date Guy) Let me help with this one. Oh, no. I dont think so, Jesus. I mean I know that you are the Son of God and everything and I respect you for that. Its just that I dont think that you can help me on this one. What do you mean I cant help on this one? Look, youre in trouble. You are trying to rely on your own understanding instead of surrendering and allowing me to take care of you tonight. Dating is a gift, a fun thing. I didnt create it to be a national disaster. Just let me help you. I want to. Just tell me what you need and Ill help you. Look, Jesus. This is the real world I am talking about here. O.K.? With real world problems. This isnt like someone getting up during the last song in church just to beat traffic. This isnt like not being able to see the cross from the freeway. This is a big time problem. I mean - have you ever helped anyone in the same situation as me? I mean - it is like having to move around from place to place and thinking you will never find a place to call home. No, I dont think sowhat is that smell!!!

J: D:

J: D:

J:

D:

(Jesus looks around audience and worship center.) J: (Sarcastically.) Nooooo. I think I know a little bit about what you just said. Of course theres no problem I havent helped someone out with. Just let me help you. Look, Jesus. You cant help me. O.K.? You cant help me. I dont want your help.

D:

LIFE HURTS, GOD HEALS SERIES You Cant Help Me


J: D: But I can Not tonightall right! Not tonight! Ill handle this one. (Both actors turn around. Actor playing Jesus now plays Nervous son.. Potential date now plays Jesus.) (On the phone) Yea, Mom. Mom. Yeah butMombutyea..MOM! I know. Yea, but I know, but See, butOh, come ondont sayyou dont mean itOh, come onOH. Try me. All right. But its silly. I mean, theres really nothing you can do. But, here goes. Okay, my mom wanted me to pick up my sister from soccer practice and I forgot. Forgot her. Not only that but it had started raining. I know that. Wait. It gets worse. Not only was I supposed to pick up my sister. It was my moms turn for car pool and I was supposed to pick up three other girls besides my sister. So, the phone has been ringing off the hook from worried parents wondering where there kids are and Ihave no excuse. Ive been watching a rerun of _____________. Youre honest. Thats good. Let me help. I dont know what can be done; weve been fighting so much lately. I know that too. Look whos tellin this? I mean, not that I even want to tell you. But, you asked. So, anyway, (starts to put on raincoat) now I have to go get them. Im going to have four little sad faces staring at me the whole ride home. When my Mom gets home all well do is fight about why I dont amount to anything. Then Ill get it again when my Dad gets home. The hits just keep on coming around this house. I wish I were never born sometimes. (Under his breath) I hope you dont mean what you just said. Id be glad to help the two of you out in any way. All you need to do is ask me. I mean, Im sure with the three of us we could make it work. Look we dont need any helpin out. Were doin fine, okay? So dont worry about it. You cant help me all right?

N:

J: N:

J: N:

J: N: J: N:

J:

N:

(Both actors turn around. This time, the Jesus character plays Peter.)

LIFE HURTS, GOD HEALS SERIES You Cant Help Me


(Peter is packing up from a fishing trip; looks discouraged.) J: P: J: P: J: P: J: P: J: P: P: Hey, Peter. Hows business? Oh, hey Jesus. Business is great. Never been better. Ive never seen so many fish in my entire life. Great, great. So, wheres all the fish? I dont see any. Oh, you thought I meant my fish! Ha, ha. Well, thats a different story. I havent caught a fish all day long. Well, maybe its your bait. Tried a new one? (Monotone voice) Tried it. What kind of line are you using? Maybe you need a heavier one. (Monotone voice) Tried it. Oh, I know. Maybe you are not in the right spot. Maybe you should move. (Monotone voice) Tried it. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Look I am a professional fisherman. You think I havent tried all of that already? Look, Im just not havin very good luck right now, okay? I couldnt catch a cold out there! Peter, do me a favor. Try one more time. I know that you are the pro here. But listen to me. Just try one more time, only this time throw the line out further. What do you say? Just because youre you, Ill try one more cast. (The line jerks Peter) Jesus I got one. Youre amazing. Youre the Master Caster. All you had to do was ask(looks to audience) thats all you have to do toojust ask, Im a giving Father.

J:

P: P: J:

(Both actors bow and walk off.)

Notes:
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LIFE HURTS, GOD HEALS SERIES You Cant Help Me Prop List: What worked:

Directors Notes:

What needs to be improved for next time:

Actors used: Date and year used:


Copyright 1989-2003 by Skit Guys Inc Drama Jump Starters an Eddie James Product For booking information: www.skitguys.com P.O. Box 1691 Frisco, TX 75034 www.simplyyouthministry.com 1-866-9-Simply

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