Lessons 1 5cf

dhs: children, adults and families division
My Future
My Choice
Classroom Facilitator Guide
Lessons 1-5
(A sexual health curriculum for teens)
Independent. Healthy. Safe.

Dear Colleague,
This specially designed guide is offered to assist all levels of classroom facilitators in presenting
the My Future-My Choice program. We’ve compiled ideas and strategies from across
the state and offer them to help you ensure all students have the greatest experience with this
program while maintaining our high quality program.
In the next pages you will see the Teen Leader Guide replicated with special notes.
Our intent is to offer additional resources beyond the state sponsored classroom
facilitator training.
Thank you for your participation and support.

STOP: READ BEFORE SESSION ONE
Important notes to the classroom facilitator
Successful strategies/Lessons learned:
• Your role is to help teen leaders shine in a leadership role. The level of support will vary
depending on the skill level of the teen leaders.
• The classroom facilitator should serve in a balanced role that allows teen leaders to take a
leadership role in teaching the session while providing support with props and handouts and
taking advantage of the appropriate teachable moments. It is important to debrief with teen
leaders following each classroom session to ensure that you have achieved a balanced role.
• Assist teen leaders with classroom management by anticipating student behavior
problems, guiding challenging discussions, moving around the room, time management, dealing
with last minute changes and modeling management skills.
• Following each session provide specific feedback that includes examples to reinforce skills
and help teen leaders improve. Keep in mind teen leaders are usually hardest on themselves,
therefore, positive, accurate feedback is important.
• Give leaders non-verbal cues to help them present well (i.e., signals to speed up or slow down,
project their voice, circulate around the room, etc).
• Assist with off-target questions that are outside the scope of the curriculum by allowing teen
leaders to address the question first and adding any statements to bring the discussion back to
the current session.
• Assist in keeping the classroom setting fun and relaxed while maintaining an optimal learning
environment.
• Before the class begins go over the key components of the session with the teen leaders.
• Before beginning Lesson Four have the teen leaders demonstrate their role-play, both non-
assertive and all three assertive skills.
• Allow the teen leaders to teach the session. It is better to allow a teen leader
to struggle in the classroom than to jump in too quickly. When a teen leader
struggles they have a personal experience that you can use to give corrective
feedback for improvement.
• Without being overbearing be a part of the presentation team. This will make it more
comfortable when you need to intercede.
• It is important for the consistency and quality of the program that the teen leaders
follow the curriculum. This does not limit their ability to be creative in developing ways to deliver
the message. We need to ask ourselves, was the information accurate? Does it reflect the values
of the program and did it work for the students?
• Professionalism is one of the core values of the program. Be a role model to
your teen leaders by being on time, ensuring school dress codes are met, and setting professional
conduct standards for teen leaders in the classroom.
Below we have listed the page, activity and
which health standard the activity meets.
Lesson One
• Page 8: (Group Exercise: Understanding the Risks of Early Sexual Involvement) -
Analyzing Influences and Decision Making (5th grade)
• Page 16: (Video Segment 1) - Analyzing Influences
Lesson Two
• Page 8: (Media: Music-Listening to a Song) - Analyzing Influences
• Page 9: (Media: Advertising) - Analyzing Influences
• Page 10: (Media: Advertising - Myth vs. Reality) - Analyzing Influences
• Page 12: (Video Segment 4: Handling Feelings and Talking Back) -
Self Management
• Page 14: (Work Sheet Group Activity) - Analyzing Influences
Lesson Three
• Page 4: (Responding to Peer Pressure) - Analyzing Influences
• Page 5: (Group Activity: Situation Worksheets) - Analyzing Influences
• Page 6: (Positive & Negative Peer Pressure) - Analyzing Influences
• Page 9: (Relationship Discussion) - Analyzing Influences
• Page 11: (Setting Limits on Physical Affection) - Self Management; Goal Setting;
Analyzing Influences
• Page 19: (Group Discussion) - Analyzing Influences
Lesson Four
• Page 3: (Stop/Caution Activity) - Self Management; Analyzing Influences;
• Page 7: (Teen Leader Discussion: Aggressive vs. Assertive) -
Interpersonal Communication
• Page 9-15: (Teen Leader Role-Play #1: “The Ineffective Role-Play”) - Self Management;
Interpersonal Communication
Lesson Five
• Page 9: (Bonus Round: The Stories and Role-Plays) - Interpersonal Communication
dhs: children, adults and families division
My Future
My Choice
Teen Leader
Classroom Guide
Lessons 1-5
(A sexual health curriculum for teens)
Independent. Healthy. Safe.

My Future
My Choice
YOUTH SERVICES PROGRAMS
Oregon Department of Human Services
Children, Adults and Families
500 Summer Street NE, E-48
Human Services Building, 2nd Floor
Salem, Oregon 97301
503-945-6098 Telephone
Acknowledgements
Special thanks to the staff of the Oregon Department of Human Services — Children, Adults
and Families Division and the many coordinators, classroom facilitators, teen leaders, students,
teachers and school administrators for their contributions to the development and revision of
this guide.
The classroom guide content (Lessons 1-5) is based on the original concepts developed for Postponing Sexual Involvement by
Marion Howard, Ph.D. and Marie E. Mitchell, R.N.
Table of Contents
CLASSROOM GUIDE
Lesson 1
The advantages of postponing sexual involvement

Introduction ......................................................................................................................... 1
Program introduction ........................................................................................................... 2
Sexual involvement .............................................................................................................. 3
Purpose statement ............................................................................................................... 4
Introduction to curriculum ................................................................................................... 5
Ground rules ........................................................................................................................ 6
Group exercise: Understanding the advantages of postponing sexual involvement ............ 8
Why some teens have sex / Why most teens wait .............................................................. 10
Reviewing the answers ...................................................................................................... 13
Summarizing the activity.................................................................................................... 15
Video Segment One .......................................................................................................... 16
Summarizing the activity ................................................................................................... 17
Video Segment Two: Consequences of sexual involvement ............................................... 18
Summarizing and closing ................................................................................................... 20
Handout ............................................................................................................................. 21
Lesson 2
Social pressure
Introduction and ground rules ............................................................................................. 1
Lesson overview................................................................................................................... 2
Reviewing Lesson one – review cards .................................................................................. 3
Video Segment Three: Understanding outside and inside pressure ...................................... 4
Media: Internet and cell phones .......................................................................................... 6
Media: Music ....................................................................................................................... 8
Media: Advertising ............................................................................................................... 9
Media: Television ............................................................................................................... 10
Summary ............................................................................................................................ 11
Video Segment Four: Handling feelings and talking back ................................................. 12
Worksheet .......................................................................................................................... 13
Table of Contents
CLASSROOM GUIDE
Summary and closing ......................................................................................................... 15

Handout ............................................................................................................................. 16
Lesson 3
Understanding peer pressure

Introduction and ground rules ............................................................................................. 1
Reviewing Lesson two — review cards ............................................................................... 2
Lesson overview................................................................................................................... 3
Responding to peer pressure and video segments 5 through 9............................................ 4
Group activity: Situation worksheets ................................................................................... 5
Positive and negative peer pressure ..................................................................................... 6
Understanding peer pressure and video segment 10 ........................................................... 7
Understanding relationships ................................................................................................ 8
Relationship discussion ........................................................................................................ 9
Summarizing the relationship discussion ........................................................................... 10
Setting limits on physical affection .................................................................................... 11
Group activity: Seven levels of physical affection .............................................................. 12
Summarizing of group activity ........................................................................................... 18
Group discussion................................................................................................................ 19
Handout ............................................................................................................................. 21
Lesson 4
Learning assertive techniques
Introduction and review: Lesson three — review cards ....................................................... 1
Lesson overview................................................................................................................... 2
Stop / caution activity .......................................................................................................... 3
Learning assertive skills and video segment 11 ................................................................... 6
Teen leader discussion: aggressive vs. assertive ................................................................... 7
Assertive skills video segment 12 ........................................................................................ 8
Teen leader role-play #1: The ineffective role-play ............................................................... 9
Teen leader role-play discussion: Introduce the Three Step Assertive Skill.......................... 10
Table of Contents
CLASSROOM GUIDE
Teen leader role-play #2: “Demonstrating the Three Step Assertive Skill” ......................... 11
Student role-play................................................................................................................ 12
Role-play discussion ........................................................................................................... 14
Summarize role-play activity .............................................................................................. 15
Handout ............................................................................................................................. 17
Lesson 5
Reinforcing skills
Introduction and review ....................................................................................................... 1
Reviewing Lesson 1.............................................................................................................. 2
Game introduction ............................................................................................................... 6
The game ............................................................................................................................. 7
Bonus round: The stories and role-plays............................................................................... 9
Scoring and program feedback .......................................................................................... 10
Personal statement ............................................................................................................ 11
Closing ............................................................................................................................... 12
Teen leader workbook

Introduction ......................................................................................................................... 1
Classroom management ...................................................................................................... 3
Paraphrasing ........................................................................................................................ 5
Role-play guidelines ............................................................................................................. 7
Pressure lines ....................................................................................................................... 9
Three Step Assertive Skill ................................................................................................... 10
Off-target questions ........................................................................................................... 11
Teen leader training evaluation .......................................................................................... 13
LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement
Lesson 1
The advantages of postponing
sexual involvement
Classroom Facilitators Guide
A LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement
BEFORE YOU GO INTO THE CLASSROOM
CLASSROOM SETUP
Ask teachers to setup small mixed gender groups before class starts.
MATERIAL LIST
• Prop 1-2 (ground rules) poster.
• Worksheet: Why some teens have sex / Why most teens wait.
• Chalkboard, easel and pad, or overhead projector.
• Video/DVD (Segments 1-2).
• Worksheet handout.
SPECIAL INSTRUCTIONS
• Assist teen leaders in being prepared enough to prevent reading directly from the script.
• Prior to entering the classroom, review with teen leaders the statements they plan to
make in their introduction.
• Check classroom for TV/VCR/DVD.
• Do not have classroom students read ground rules the rst day.
• Assist teen leaders with classroom management.
• Circulate around the room with teen leaders.
• Be prepared to overview the lesson.
• Assist teen leaders in editing responses and re-framing answers in a positive way.
• Record and cross off answers during the activity.
Special notes for Classroom Facilitators:

• You will present our definition of Sexual • Hang Ground Rules Poster, Prop 1-2, in a location
Involvement on page 3. Please pre-read and be visible to all students and use the same location for
ready to present this page. all future sessions.
• Lay out all props in a central location easily • Assist teen leaders with classroom management.
accessible by teen leaders. Make sure teen leaders • Circulate around the room with the teen leaders.
know where the props are.
• Assist teen leaders in editing responses and re-
framing answers in a positive way.
LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement B
LESSON 1
OBJECTIVE: Introduce ourselves, the program, and its ideas. Dene words used in this
program, identify and dispel myths about teens and sex. Through activities
and discussion the class will reach the conclusion that there are a lot more
reasons to wait to become sexually involved.
MAIN IDEAS: This is a “get to know you” lesson that prepares the class for discussions
around consequences, facts, myths and the benets of postponing sex. Teens
get sexually involved for a variety of reasons (pressure, curiosity, believe in
myths), but few are really good reasons. This is not an issue exclusively for
teens. Adults have the same consequences, but have more resources and life
experience to deal with them.
ACTIVITIES: • Why some teens have sex and why most teens wait.
• Video on myths and discussion.
• Video on facts and discussion.
• Personal introduction of teens and adults.

• Dene: Postpone.
INTRODUCTION • Facts about sexual involvement. Dene abstinence.
• Three main things we’ll learn/discuss.
• Ground rules.
• Why some teens have sex and why most teens wait.
ACTIVITIES • Video on myths and discussion.
• Video on facts and discussion.
• Key points of the lesson.

• Explain what we’re doing in the next lesson (Media).
SUMMARY
• Worksheet: Give instructions to listen for sexual messages on TV and radio.
Special notes
• Pass out for handout.
worksheet Classroom Facilitators:
C LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement
ISSUES IN LESSON 1
Your job is to connect with the middle school students. Be inclusive when talking about risks and
pressures. Treat them as peers, rather than kids who need to be taught. Let them know it’s not an
issue just for teens.
1. INTRODUCTION: Think about what you want to say about yourself and why you
decided to be a teen leader.
2. PURPOSE STATEMENT: Know the facts so you can use your voice to impress importance.
3. COMPARING THE LISTS: “Why some teens have sex and why most teens wait.”
• Paraphrase and sanitize answers.
• When you get both lists up on the board, go to the list of why
some teens have sex.
• Emphasize whether they think these are good reasons for
students their age to have sex.
• How you say it makes a huge difference in the responses.
• Explain that you are going to cross off the things they don’t
feel are the best choices/reasons for having sex.
• Don’t forget, we know teens have sex for many of these
reasons, but now we’re asking which ones are really good
reasons for someone their/your age.
• Move quickly through lists.
4. VIDEO 1: Be able to answer the discussion questions. Classes often focus on
what the girl would have done and ways she could have avoided
the situation. Ask them what the boy could do.
5. VIDEO 2: Before the video, instruct the class to look for facts, consequences
and things you may not be able to do if you suffer a major
consequence (pregnancy, STI). Have a discussion about
consequences, missed opportunities, how life could change.

LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement 1
{TL-1 AND 2
{
{
1. INTRODUCTION
Hi, I am classroom facilitator from organization / employer .

I will be here in the classroom assisting with the presentations.
Hi, I am TL-1 from High School.
Hi, I am TL-2 from High School.
LEADERS:
Add a statement about yourself, why you are a teen leader

and why you think it’s important to wait. Use the introduction
you practiced in training.
Name: Grade:
School:
Things about yourself:
Why you are a teen leader:
CLASSROOM FACILITATOR:
Instruct students to clear their desks/tables and organize in groups.
{ Offer something personal about yourself.

2 LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement
{ TL-2
{
2. PROGRAM INTRODUCTION
2. PROGRAM INTRODUCTION
We feel it’s important for people to talk about sex in a way that is respectful
and responsible.
We’re here to talk about making healthy choices and postponing

sexual involvement.
{
Who can tell me what it means to postpone?
Repeat answers back to the class and paraphrase.

LEADERS:
Repeat answers back to the class and paraphrase.
That’s right, postpone means to wait, to delay, or to put off until later.
This lesson will help you learn the steps in making healthy decisions about
sexual involvement.
If necessary, remind (signal) TLs to spread out around the room.
{ If necessary, remind TLs to paraphrase by saying, “What did he/she say?”

{ CF
{
{
3. SEXUAL INVOLVEMENT
As you grow up, you are learning skills to prepare yourself for being on your own.
You are getting ready for high school, driving a car, getting a job or going to
college.
You don’t just wake up one day and know how to drive a car. It takes knowledge
and planning. The same is true about relationships and decisions you will face
about sexual behaviors and dating relationships. You will need skills to help you
make the best choice for you.
What do we mean when we say sexual involvement? Here is our denition:
We are talking about sexual contact, which includes vaginal and anal intercourse,
as well as oral sex. These are all behaviors that involve contact with body uids
that can lead to getting pregnant or causing pregnancy. You could also contract a
sexually transmitted disease or infection such as HIV.
{ If students ask for more information, refer them to their parents or a trusted adult.
{ TL-1
{
4. PURPOSE STATEMENT
Before we get started with the rst lesson, we want to share a couple of
important points about why most teens choose to delay sexual involvement.”
(Read information out of the guide.)
• The reality is, most teens in our society are waiting or abstaining from
having sex.
• Being sexually involved now can have consequences that many teens are not
ready to handle.
(Source: YRBS, Oregon Health Division)
{
{ ?
Who can tell me what abstinence means?
Abstinence means you have made the decision not to do something.
{ If necessary, be prepared to help with defining abstinence.
If needed, assist TLs in making all answers “good” answers.

{ TL-2
{
5. INTRODUCTION TO CURRICULUM
During the My Future-My Choice lessons you will:

• Learn to say “NO” without hurting your friends’ feelings or making
them mad.
• Learn how the media can inuence your decisions about sexual involvement.
• Discuss different types of pressures that inuence your decisions about
sexual involvement.
• Learn assertive skills to use in pressured situations.
• Learn why it’s important to make healthy choices about
sexual involvement.
• Talk about short-term and long-term goals for your lives.
• Learn about how your bodies change when you are teens.
• Talk about different options for protecting yourselves.

{ TL-1
{
6. GROUND RULES
Because we’ll be sharing ideas and opinions with each other, let’s establish some
ground rules to follow while we’re here.
This will help everyone feel comfortable and safe when participating.
Here are the classroom ground rules:
LEADERS:
Read the ground rules from the big poster and explain them in your own words.
The rst ground rule is: “Respect the right to privacy for yourself and
others.”
Because we are in a large group setting, it’s not the best or most appropriate
place to tell personal stories about you, your friends or family members. If you
feel you need to discuss a personal situation, we can refer you to a place where it
is safe to talk.
continue on next page

{ TL-1
{
6. GROUND RULES — CONTINUED
continued from pg 6
The second ground rule is: “Everyone should participate as much as possible.”
Throughout our lessons we will be doing
lots of fun activities, so we want everyone to
participate as much as possible.
The third ground rule is: “Respect each other’s ideas and opinions.”
No “put-downs” or laughing at each other.
It’s OK to laugh when something is funny
but it’s not OK to laugh at someone’s idea or
opinion.
The fourth ground rule is: “It’s okay to pass.”
If you feel uncomfortable at any time, we will
respect your right to pass.
The last ground rule is: “Hands up!”
When we say, “Hands up,” we want you to
stop, listen, focus on us and raise your hand.
Let’s practice now: “Let’s all talk at once about
what you plan to do today after school (make
eye contact and pause a moment).
Hands up!!!!” (Wait for class to be quiet.)

Good job!!
?
Does everyone understand and agree to follow
these ground rules?

{ TL-2
{
7. GROUP EXERCISE: UNDERSTANDING THE ADVANTAGES
OF POSTPONING SEXUAL INVOLVEMENT
OK, now we are going to do an activity and we’d like everyone to participate.
You have ve seconds to pick a person in your group to take notes. We will call
this person the recorder and he or she will be responsible for writing all the
answers on the worksheet.
Ready? Go!!
Recorders raise your hands. Keep them up until you receive your worksheet.
You have ve seconds to pick another person to read the answers. We will call
this person the speaker.
Ready? Go!!
{ LEADERS:
Check with each group and have recorders and speakers identify themselves.
Hand worksheet directly to recorders.
Recorders, everyone’s answer is important, so you should write down all answers.
Don’t worry about spelling.
{
Make sure each group has a recorder (with a pencil) and a speaker before the teen leaders go
to the next page to start the activity. If needed, ask all the recorders to raise their hands;
this will confirm each group is ready to start.
{ TL-2
{
7. GROUP EXERCISE: UNDERSTANDING THE ADVANTAGES
OF POSTPONING SEXUAL INVOLVEMENT - CONTINUED
continued from pg 8
Turn to the side of your worksheet that says “Why some teens have sex.”
In your groups, make a list of reasons why some teens have sex.
You have three minutes.
Ready?
LEADERS:
Go!!
Circulate and remind groups to record all answers and follow the ground rules. Call
time after most groups have eight to 10 answers. Choose the group with the
shortest list to share its answers rst.
Write the heading “Why some teens have sex” in large letters on chalkboard or
overhead. Leave space to add “your age” later on.
While teens are circulating, prepare for the next part of the activity by putting the following format on the board:
Why Some Teens
Have Sex
Remind teens to circulate and assist groups. Make sure each group has several answers before time is called.
{ TL-1
{
8. WHY SOME TEENS HAVE SEX / WHY MOST TEENS WAIT
Stop!
Pencils down!!
Hands up!!!
Pass your paper and pencil to the speaker.
When I come to your group, your speaker is going to stand up and give us two
answers from your list.
All groups should listen carefully and cross out any answers that are the same, or
mean the same thing.
I will call on groups one by one until all answers have been recorded.
{ Paraphrase all answers.

Horny = Hormones, Slut = Reputation.
continued on next page
Record answers on ip chart / chalk board.

Discussion guidelines for addressing rape/forced/money:
Raped/forced — Put a box around it immediately and
address in the following manner: This person did not have
a choice and that is not OK. If you know someone who has been
raped or forced to have sex it’s important for that person to talk to a
trusted adult.
Money — If someone is having sex for money, that’s
called prostitution. If someone in middle school is involved with
prostitution, most likely they’ve been forced into it and that’s not OK.
It’s important for that person to talk to a trusted adult.

Write the answers with the following format: Be prepared to handle:
Raped/Forced: If raped/forced/abuse is said,
Why Some Teens immediately put it in a box and tell students this is not a
Have Sex choice. If students know someone in this situation, they
should encourage them to talk to an adult. (see CF hint box)
cool
Prostitution: Money = prostitution. If a teen has sex
in love for money they are usually forced. If they know someone
in this situation, they should encourage them to talk to an
{
media
adult. (See CF hint box)
Shorten answers: Because they want to be cool = cool
{ TL-1
{
8. WHY SOME TEENS HAVE SEX / WHY MOST TEENS WAIT - CONTINUED
continued from pg 10
Turn over your worksheets to “Why most teens wait.”
Make a list of all the reasons most teens wait to have sex.
Ready?
LEADERS:
Go!!
Circulate! While you circulate, observe which group has the shortest list. Choose
that group to share answers rst. Call time after most groups have
10 to 12 answers and a little longer list than the rst time.
Write the heading “Why most teens wait” in large letters on chalkboard or
overhead. Leave space to add “your age” later on.
While teens are circulating add the next heading to the format.
Why Some Teens Why Most Teens
Have Sex Wait
cool
in love
media
This list should be a little longer than the first list to emphasize there are more reasons to wait.
{ TL-2
{
8. WHY SOME TEENS HAVE SEX / WHY MOST TEENS WAIT - CONTINUED
Stop!
Pencils down!!
Hands up!!!
When I come to your group, your speaker will stand up and give us two answers.
Remember to listen for repeat answers and cross them out.
OK, let’s hear from this group rst.
{
Pick up worksheets as each reporter reads last
answer and paraphrase all answers.
Ugly = self-conscious or not attracted to the person.
{
Record answers on ip chart/chalk board.
Discussion guidelines for addressing gay:
Gay = Do not write gay on the board. Ask the group:

Other than pregnancy, are all the consequences the same? So give us another
reason from your list.
When both lists have been completed, go back to the rst list
“Why some teens have sex” and write “your age.”
Why some teens your age have sex

Write the answers with the following format:
Have Sex Wait
If necessary remind teens to pick up worksheets as each
group finishes their list. {
If gay/lesbian comes up as an answer ask the class, “Other
cool STD/STI than pregnancy, are the consequences the same? If a person
in love future plans is gay or lesbian could the still get an STI or STD, or a broken
heart? Does your group have another answer?” (See CF
media positive peer pressure hint box)
Shorten answers: Because they want to be cool = cool

Avoid the term “sexual preference;” use “sexual
orientation.” {
{ TL-1
{
9. REVIEWING THE ANSWERS
{ Now, let’s go back to the rst list. We know these are reasons why some teens have
sex, but do you think they are good reasons for someone your age to have sex?
I need to hear a loud yes if you think this is a good reason, and a loud no if you don’t
think it is a good reason for someone your age to have sex.
So let’s practice a loud yes - YES!

And now a loud no - NO!
?
Is this a good reason for someone your age to have sex?
LEADERS:
Discussion guidelines: If the class doesn’t agree, ask
are there other things you could do to meet the same need?
Examples:
“In love.” Ask them:
Can you show someone you love them without sexual involvement?
What are some ways?
“Baby.” Are there other ways you can spend time with a
baby and not have the same responsibility?
{ Add “YOUR AGE” to the first list.

Make sure the instructions are clear to the students.
You may need to remind students, “This might be a
Your Age Have Sex Wait reason a teen could have sex, but do you think it’s a
cool STD/STI good reason?”
in love future plans Draw a line through “no” answers and place a check
media positive peer pressure mark next to items not agreed on.
{ TL-2
{
9. REVIEWING THE ANSWERS - CONTINUED
Now let’s look at the second list. Are these good reasons for someone your
{
age to wait? It may not be your reason, but if a friend said that was why
they were waiting, would that be a good reason for them?
Add “Your age” to the second list.
LEADERS:
Continue activity until all reasons have been considered.

“How many people agree this is a good reason to wait?”

Add “YOUR AGE” to the second list.
{
Write the answers with the following format:
Your Age Have Sex Your Age Wait
cool  STD/STI
in love  future plans
media  positive peer pressure
Place a  next to each “yes” answer.
{ TL-1
{
10. SUMMARIZING THE ACTIVITY
Now that we have talked about the reasons you have given on both lists, it looks
like your class thinks there are more reasons to wait.
Think about how someone’s life could change if that person got pregnant, caused
a pregnancy, or got a sexually transmitted disease or infection because of sexual
involvement.
Now we are going to talk about some myths around sexual involvement.
?
What does the word myth mean?
LEADERS:
Paraphrase students’ answers to create a denition.
That’s right; a myth is something people believe is true even though it’s not.
There are a lot of myths about sexual involvement. The rst video shows a girl
who decided to have sex with her boyfriend. Listen for the reason she decided to
have sex and the myths she believed.

{ TL-2
{
11. VIDEO SEGMENT ONE
Show video segment 1.
Why did she decide to have sex?
?
(to keep her boyfriend)
How long do you think she’ll remember this experience?
What myths did the girl believe?

(too young to become pregnant, didn’t have sex very often)
What are some things that could happen to the boy?

(fatherhood, STD/STIs, child support, bad reputation, drop out of sports,
get a job, no social life)
What are some of the things she was worried about?

(motherhood, STD/STIs, child support, bad reputation, drop out of sports,
get a job, no social life, no time to nish school)
How could they have handled their feelings?

(not had sex, talked about it, do something else together)
LEADERS:
Paraphrase students’ responses and give correct information
when myths are discussed.
Abortion, adoption = Decisions
You know, lots of teens do get pressured into having sex because they think it will help
them keep their boyfriend or girlfriend.
{ TL-1
{
11. SUMMARIZING THE ACTIVITY
Based on what we’ve just seen in the video, it’s not always easy to deal
with your hormones or your feelings about someone.
Also, people sometimes end up doing things based on myths they believe
and then nd out they’re not true.
The girl in the video thought having sex with her boyfriend would keep the
relationship together.
?
Did that work for her?
No? It doesn’t work for adults either.
We talked about myths and consequences of sexual involvement.
You’ve shown us with your lists that there are lots of reasons to wait.
?
Does that mean it’s easy to wait? (No)
But it does mean we have to think about how we will deal with the
pressure to have sex.
There is pressure that comes from other people and pressure that comes
from inside of us, such as hormones, curiosity and feelings. We’ll be talking
more about that in another lesson.
{ TL-2
{
12. VIDEO SEGMENT TWO:
CONSEQUENCES OF SEXUAL INVOLVEMENT
Curiosity is one of the reasons teens give for having sex. They want to know what
it will be like.
It’s normal to be curious about sexual involvement.
The next video will talk about curiosity and give us some facts.
The video talked about the possible consequences of being sexually involved.
?
How can having sex as a teen affect your future?
LEADERS:
Listen carefully and paraphrase answers.
These are all good things to think about as you make decisions about your future.
{ TL-1
{
12. VIDEO SEGMENT TWO:
CONSEQUENCES OF SEXUAL INVOLVEMENT
Someone may say to you, “If you care about me, you’ll have sex with me.”
?
Do you have to have sex with someone to show you care?
What are some things you could say or do to show you like
someone without sexual involvement?
LEADERS:
Listen carefully and paraphrase answers.
Let’s take a little quiz now to see how much you remember. Just answer each
question true or false.
• A girl can get pregnant the rst time she has sex and a boy can cause a
pregnancy the rst time he has sex. (true)
• Students in middle school can’t get pregnant or cause a pregnancy. (false)
• Having sex makes you a grownup. (false)
• Abstinence is the only 100 percent effective way to avoid pregnancy or a

sexually transmitted disease or infection. (true)

{ TL-2
{
13. SUMMARIZING AND CLOSING
Let’s review what we learned today.

(Read information)
• Once you’ve reached puberty, you can get pregnant or cause a pregnancy
the rst time you have sex.
• Most students in your school are not having sex.
• Your class has shown us, by your lists, that you think it’s best for teens
to wait.
{
Next time we are going to talk about the pressures that come from the media.
This week pay attention a little differently to your TV shows and the music you listen to.
Do they use sex to get your attention? We’ll talk about this in our next lesson.
We have a worksheet for you to take home and discuss what you learned today with
your parent or guardian.
LEADERS:
Pass out worksheet.
{ LEADERS:
Everyone say goodbye to the class.
{ Have the class watch, listen and read the same things they usually do.
{ After you and TLs say goodbye to the class, don’t let them leave before giving them
constructive feedback and asking them what they want to improve on for next week.
Dear Parent or Guardian,
As part of the My Future-My Choice program your student has been instructed to
ask for your help in a worksheet assignment.
On the worksheet below, discuss the possible consequences of sexual
involvement for a teen. Some topics to consider are the nancial, social,
educational and emotional impacts.
If a teen became pregnant or caused a pregnancy, how could the consequences

affect that person’s:
- Financial future?
- Social life?
- Emotional health?
- Education?
- Physical health?
If a teen were to get a sexually transmitted disease (STD) or sexually transmitted

infection (STI), how could the consequences affect that person’s:
- Financial future?
- Social life?
- Emotional health?
- Education?
- Physical health?

Database Form
Database Form
County
County
School name
School name
Grade level 6 7 8
Grade level 6 7 8
5-6 6-7 7-8
5-6 6-7 7-8
Class period Health Math Core
Class period Health Math Core
Science PE English
Science PE English
Other
Other
STARS start date / /

STARS start date / /
Number of boys in classroom

Number of boys in classroom
Number of girls in classroom

Number of girls in classroom
Classroom facilitators name

Classroom facilitators name
Number of teen leaders used in this classroom

Number of teen leaders used in this classroom
Date entered into database / /

Date entered into database / /
To access the web site: http://dhsresources.hr.state.or.us:591/STARS_Schools/FMPRO?-

To access the web site: http://dhsresources.hr.state.or.us:591/STARS_Schools/FMPRO?-
db=OpenSTARS.fp3&-format=stars_first.htm&-findany
Todb=OpenSTARS.fp3&-format=stars_first.htm&-findany
access the Web site: http://dhsresources.hr.state.or.us:591/STARS_Schools/FirstPage.htm
User name: STARS
User name: STARS
DHS 0098 (2/08)
DHS 0098 (2/08)
LESSON 2: Social pressure
Lesson 2
Social pressure
A LESSON 2: Social pressure
CLASSROOM SETUP
MATERIAL LIST
• Prop 2-1 through 2-7 (review cards) 4 1-4 by- 11 inches.
• Worksheets.
• One large advertisement.
• Tape/CD of current song containing sexual messages.
• Video/DVD (Segments 3 and 4).
• CD/cassette player.
• Review music before using it in the classroom.
• Select an advertisement that has two people and the sexual messages are obvious (This means
the two people need to be displaying body language that could lead to sexual involvement).
• Assist teen leaders.
• Cue video to begin at segment 3.

• Be sure to hang Ground Rules Poster, Prop 1-2, in the same location each week.
• Lay out all props in a central location easily accessible by teen leaders.
• Assist teen leaders in editing responses and re-framing answers in a positive way.
LESSON 2: Social pressure B
LESSON 2
Objective: To discuss the power of the media in inuencing our ideas about sex and sexuality. To
begin talking about outside and inside pressure to be sexually involved.
Main ideas: We cannot get away from the pressure that comes from the media, Internet, our
friends, partners, hormones, etc. So, we can’t just turn off the radio or not look at
magazine ads or not watch TV when we see or hear something about sex.
• Ground rules
REVIEW
• Review cards
Intro to activities around the media

• Music
ACTIVITIES • Advertising
• Television
• Internet
Key points
SUMMARY • Explain what we are doing in the next lesson (peer pressure).
• Pass out worksheets.

C LESSON 2: Social pressure
ISSUES IN LESSON 2:
We want students to understand that we are all bombarded with sexual images in the media to the
point where we don’t think of the consequences much, just of sex as entertainment. In this Lesson
we want to take a critical look at some aspects of the media to see how they use sex and glamorize
it to get our attention. We want young people to see that making decisions about sex is not so
simple because the consequences are life-changing.
1. REVIEW CARDS: Plan a paraphrase for each review card that acknowledges what the
student said.
2. GROUP ACTIVITY: Know the answers to the questions for yourself and for the students
when they need help.
3. MEDIA ACTIVITY: a. Use the transition lines in the guide to prepare an intro to the
media that makes sense to you.
b. If necessary, point out how different it would be if they say the
words to someone rather than sing the song. How would that
sound? What impression would that leave about them?
c. If the students say what message the ad is trying to give us,
praise them and go on.
GENERAL Adults give students mixed messages about sex. They don‘t want them to “do it,”
but the media is very accessible to students and doesn’t talk much about the
consequences of sexual involvement.

LESSON 2: Social pressure 1
{ TL-1
{
1. INTRODUCTION AND GROUND RULES
Hi. We’re back today.
Hi, I am TL-1 .
Hi, I am TL-2 .
{ ?
Now let’s review the ground rules.
Who would like to read the rst one?
LEADERS:
Have individual students raise hands and read ground rules. Repeat rules
loud and clear for the class. Make sure all ground rules are covered.
{
• (Display Poster) (Prop 1-2)
• Respect the right to privacy for yourself and others.

• Everyone should participate as much as possible.
• Respect each other’s ideas and opinions. “NO” “put-downs” or laughing
at each other.
• It’s OK to pass.
• Hands up = Stop and listen (demonstrate).
{ If necessary, signal teens to spread out and circulate immediately after reintroducing themselves.
{ Make sure all of the ground rules are read and “Hands Up!” is practiced.
2 LESSON 2: Social pressure
{ CF
{
2. LESSON OVERVIEW
Today we’re going to discuss different pressures we experience both inside and outside
of us. The main outside pressure we’ll look at is media. We’ll look closely at pressures
by talking about the Internet and texting, listening to music, looking at advertisements
and discussing current TV shows. We will also watch some videos.

{ TL-2
{
3. REVIEWING LESSON ONE: REVIEW CARDS
?
I have some review cards.
Who would like to read the rst one?
{
LEADERS:
Ask for volunteers. Hand review cards to students one at a time. Have
students stand and read them aloud. Assist with reading if necessary.
Take card back and paraphrase key points.
•
• (Review Cards) (Prop 2-1 through 2-7)
• Most students at this school aren’t having sex.

• It’s best for teens to wait or postpone sexual involvement.
• A boy can cause a pregnancy the rst time he has sex.
• A girl can get pregnant the rst time she has sex.
• Most teens aren’t ready to deal with the consequences of having sex.
• A myth is an idea some people believe is true even though it has been
proven false or there is no evidence to support it.
• Abstinence is the only 100 percent sure way to avoid pregnancy and
sexually transmitted diseases or infections such as HIV.
Thanks. Good job!
{
If necessary, remind TLs to:
• Stand near the students as they read.
• Paraphrase to reinforce the message.
{ TL-1
{
4. UNDERSTANDING OUTSIDE AND INSIDE PRESSURE
Now we’re going to focus on handling the pressure we may experience from outside
and inside of us. These pressures can be both positive and negative.
While you watch this next video, make sure to look for examples of inside and
outside pressures.
Inside pressures are how we react and feel inside. Hormones, curiosity, your conscience
and emotions are all inside pressures.
Outside pressures come from society and people around us.
?
Can you name some possible outside pressures?
LEADERS:
Take two or three answers.
Examples of answers: parents, friends, teachers, media, etc.

{ TL-2
{
5. UNDERSTANDING AND RESISTING SOCIAL PRESSURE
?
What are some different types of media?
LEADERS:
Listen carefully and repeat their answers.
Examples of media:
TV Logos Movies
Billboards Books Radio/music
Magazines Internet Newspapers
One big outside pressure we all deal with on a regular basis is media. What we
read, see and hear is how we get information from the media.

{ TL-1
{
6. MEDIA: INTERNET AND CELL PHONES
?
{
Raise your hand if you have ever been on the Internet.
?
Raise your hand if you have ever texted someone using a cell phone.
?
How could something posted online or sent by text be
hurtful to someone?
Sometimes people post mean comments, or text somebody something hurtful, thinking
it’s funny: This is called cyberbullying, and it is not OK.
If this happens to someone, they should not respond. Instead, save or print the message
and talk to a parent or other trusted adult who can handle the situation.
Assist with discussion if needed.

{
{ TL-2
{
6. MEDIA: INTERNET AND CELL PHONES - CONTINUED
?
Why could it be dangerous to give out
personal information over the Internet?
If anything you see online makes you uncomfortable,

who should you tell?
When you share a password with someone, you become responsible for their actions.
Remember, if you’re not OK with everyone seeing it, you probably shouldn’t post it. The
things we write online or text on a cell phone can stay there forever.

{ TL-1
{
7. MEDIA: MUSIC - LISTENING TO A SONG
Now we are going to play a song you may recognize.

While the song is playing, listen to the words for sexual messages.
When the song stops, we will ask you to discuss what you heard.
Play designated song.
{
?
How many of you have heard this song before?
What sexual messages did you hear in the song?
Did you hear any consequences of sexual

involvement in the song?
Each song we listen to has a message. It is up to you to decide what that

message is, and how you will let it inuence what you do or believe.
Play first verse and chorus.

{
{ TL-2
{
8. MEDIA: ADVERTISING
Music is one form of media, and advertising is another.
Now I’m going to show you a magazine ad.
What product is it trying to sell?
LEADERS:
Hold an advertisement with the name of the product covered at eye level.
Walk around the room so all the class can see the ad.
Ask the students to guess the product based on
what they see and repeat answers.
This ad is actually selling . (Uncover product name.)
?
How is sex used to sell this product?
Does the ad show the consequences of sexual involvement?
What are they trying to get you to believe?
Why do you think the company chose to advertise this way?
It’s important to be aware of the messages the media are sending us and how those
messages can affect our decisions.

{ TL-1
{
9. MEDIA: TELEVISION
Another type of media is television. Raise your hand and name a TV show you
watch that uses sex to get your attention.
LEADERS:
Have students name TV programs.
Repeat titles of programs.
?
Do most TV shows you mentioned talk about the
real consequencesof having sex?
If they don’t show the real consequences of sexual involvement,

what messages are they giving?
Movies and TV often promote messages that skip over the negative
consequences.

{ TL-2
{
10. MEDIA: SUMMARY
We’ve looked at different types of media pressure.
Advertisers sometimes use sex to get our attention. This can pressure us to buy a
specic product or look or act a certain way.
The messages to watch out for are those we talked about that don’t include the
consequences.
?
What are some consequences we talked about?
What do advertisers want from you?
Do they really care if you are popular or cool?
Remember, we aren’t saying, “Don’t listen to certain music, or buy certain products.“
That is up to you!
We just want you to be aware of how media messages can inuence what you
do or believe.

{ TL-1
{
11.VIDEO SEGMENT 4: HANDLING FEELINGS AND TALKING BACK
Let’s watch a video. During the video we will see some pressures that Julie and
Kyle are feeling. Look for outside and inside pressures.
Pay attention to all the consequences; there are more than just the obvious ones.
?
What types of pressures are Julie and Kyle facing?
(peers, thinking its what the other wants)
How does becoming sexually involved affect them right now?

(not speaking to each other, uncertain future, loss of scholarship, parenthood)
How can it change the rest of their lives?

(parenthood)
What could it be like for Kyle and Julie when they tell their
parents about the pregnancy?
(scary, uncomfortable)
Too often teens feel pressure to have sex. Even if you use protection there’s still a
risk of pregnancy or STIs.
Consequences from sexual activity can affect you, your friends, your family and
your future.

{ TL-2
{
12. WORKSHEET
Now, we are going to take a look at some other situations teens might nd themselves
in. See if you can identify the pressure, and give teens like you the advice they need to
make healthy decisions.
You have 10 seconds to pick a recorder and a speaker in your group.
Ready?
Go!!
TL-2:
Distribute one question per group directly to the recorders.
Each group will receive a different worksheet.
We will be circulating to help you.
Are there any questions before we begin?
Ready?
Go!!

{ TL-2
{
12. WORKSHEET - CONTINUED
Stop!
Pencils down!!
Hands up!!!
Let’s listen to your answers.
LEADERS:
Read the group’s worksheet and have the speaker stand up and report
the answers. Pick up worksheet after each group nishes reading their
entire list. Paraphrase their answers while walking to the next group.
Great job!

{ TL-1
{
13. SUMMARY AND CLOSING
Having sexual feelings is normal. What we do with these feelings is important.
We can learn how to handle these feelings and pressures without becoming sexually
involved before we’re ready.
Here are some important points we talked about today:

•
• It is important to have fun and be safe when exchanging information
over the Internet.
• All songs have messages. We need to be aware of what
those messages are.
• Advertising companies have the ability to inuence our decisions
on sexual involvement.
• You need to be aware of messages from the media so you
can make smart choices and postpone sexual involvement.
We have a worksheet for you to take home. Watch a TV program with a parent or
guardian. Watch and listen for messages and mark them on the worksheet. When the
program is over, discuss what you saw and heard.
LEADERS:
Pass out worksheet.
LEADERS:
Everyone say goodbye!
After you and TLs say goodbye to the class don’t let the TLs leave before giving them constructive feedback
and asking them what they want to improve on for next week.
Dear Parent/Guardian,
As part of the My Future-My Choice program your student has been instructed to
ask for your help with a worksheet assignment.
This week we talked about how the media uses sex to get our attention. This week
we’d like you to spend some time with your student watching one of their television
shows, including commercials, or listening to a song. Discuss how the media used
sex or other situations to get your attention. Each time you see or hear one of
the situations listed, make one mark in the appropriate box. (Example: )
Following the program or song, have a discussion with your student using the
questions listed below.
The program or song is:_______________________________
DOES THE PROGRAM INCLUDE USE OF: YES

Alcohol
Bad language
Bullying
Drugs
Peer pressure
Put downs
Sexual situations
Smoking
Violence
DISCUSSION POINTS:
1) Did the program or song show consequences for any of the topics listed above?
2) Did any of the media messages present possible consequences in a realistic way?
3) If the program or song did not show realistic consequences, discuss what some of
those could be.
LESSON 3: Understanding peer pressure
Lesson 3
Understanding peer pressure
A LESSON 3: Understanding peer pressure
CLASSROOM SETUP
MATERIAL LIST
• Prop 3-1 through 3-6 (review cards) 4 1-4-by- 11 inches.
• Video/DVD (segments 5-10).
• Worksheet: Pressure situations.
• Prop 3-8 (Different types of relationships) poster.
• Seven levels of physical affection (3 items).
Prop 3-9, poster.
Prop 3-10 through 3-16, 8 1-2- by 11 inches.
Handout, seven levels, 1/4 sheets.
• Assist teen leaders in moving the review cards along at a reasonable pace.
• Plan at least 15 minutes for the setting limits activity.
• In the setting limits activity, the classroom facilitator will guide the activity and the teen leaders
will circulate to assist the students.
• Be aware of students’ responses and offer assistance. Always take the opportunity for a
teachable moment.
CF has a very major role in this session;

you are the only speaker for pages 14, 15, 16 and 17.
• Cue the video to begin at Segment 5.
• Hang the Relationship Poster on top of the Seven Level poster.
• Remind TL1 they will manage students who stand close to or under the “Have Sex” sign, see page 16.
LESSON 3: Understanding peer pressure B
LESSON 3:
OBJECTIVE: To identify where the pressures to become sexually involved come from and
develop skills to resist them. To begin talking about setting limits on physical
affection before a pressure situation arises.
MAIN IDEAS: We are constantly told that “everybody’s doing it” so we think that is what we are
supposed to do. In this lesson, talk about peer pressure and how that inuences
our actions. We want students to understand that they CAN set limits on physical
affection.
• Ground rules.
REVIEW
• Review cards.
• Video on pressure to have sex.
• Situation worksheets and review inside/outside pressures.
• Ways your friends can inuence you positively or negatively and
understanding peer pressure.
ACTIVITIES - Challenging the idea that “everybody’s doing it.”
- Main points about saying NO to sex.
• Introduction to setting a limit and seven levels of physical affection.
• Setting limit activity and worksheet.
• How getting drunk or high can affect your limit.

SUMMARY • Three main points.
• Explain what we’re doing next lesson (role-play).

C LESSON 3: Understanding peer pressure
ISSUES IN LESSON 3
In this lesson we help students understand that setting limits is a very good way to deal with the
pressure to have sex. Thinking about a limit and setting it before you get in a pressured situation
helps you maintain control. Setting limits also makes it more difcult for someone to take advantage
of you and helps you keep from going farther than you want to go.
1. REVIEW CARDS: Have your paraphrase ready for each review card. Be enthusiastic,
make them fun.
2. INSIDE PRESSURES: Review what this means. You can ask it another way if necessary,
e.g., “What are the things you’re worried about?”
3. SETTING LIMITS EXERCISE: Your job during this exercise is crowd control. One of you should
stand near the “Have sex” sign. Be prepared to ask the student
if they understood the question, and then repeat the question
to them.
4. SUMMARY: Guide a discussion on why it’s important to set a limit, how

getting drunk or high inuences that limit, and what could
happen if a person went past their stopping point.

LESSON 3: Understanding peer pressure 1
{ TL-1
{
1. INTRODUCTION AND GROUND RULES
Hi. Nice to see you again. How is everybody?
Remember our names?
I want to remind you of the ground rules:
Read ground rules from the poster.
• Respect the right to privacy for yourself and others.

• Everyone should participate as much as possible.
• Respect other’s ideas and opinions.
• It’s OK to pass.
• When we raise our hands, stop what you are doing and listen.

2 LESSON 3: Understanding peer pressure
{ TL-2
{
2. REVIEWING LESSON TWO: REVIEW CARDS
•
•
•
•
?
I have some review cards! Who wants to read the rst one?
LEADERS:
•
•Ask for volunteers, hand review cards to students one at a time. Have students
• read them aloud and assist with reading if necessary. Take card back and
• paraphrase key points.
(Review cards) (Prop 3-1 through 3-6)
• TV, movies, music and magazines may inuence how we think

about sex.
• The media sometimes try to get me to believe that if I wear a certain
product it will make me look sexy and be popular.
• Messages from the media may not always be obvious but they can still
inuence us.
• Some messages from the media may go against my beliefs and values. It’s
important that I think for myself.
• It is up to ME to decide how I am going to be inuenced by the messages
from the media.
• When you say NO to sexual involvement, you are saying what most
teens say.
Thanks, good job!

{ CF
{
3. LESSON OVERVIEW
Today we have a lot of things planned. We will watch a video that will:
• Show us different examples of teens being pressured.
• Give us some information about relationships.
• Talk about the importance of setting limits.
At the end of this lesson we will practice setting personal limits.
This lesson is designed to help young people make choices that are right for them
in sexual or dating situations.
• We know that some students have had that choice taken away from them —
they are being sexually abused.
• This is not their fault.
• No student can handle this by themselves.
• If you know anyone that this is happening to, you could be a good friend by
helping them nd an adult they trust to talk to.
• This could be a person from your family, school staff, church or someone in
the community.
We are here to tell you that you always have the right to set a limit when it
comes to your body.

{ TL-1
{
4. RESPONDING TO PEER PRESSURE
While we watch these videos about peer pressure, think about what you might
do in these situations.
Keep in mind that some of these people are saying out loud what many of us
think inside.
Show video segments 5,6,7,8 and 9.
During the videos you have time to put up props 3-8, 3-9 and 3-10 through 3-16.
Try not to distract from students focusing on video.

{ TL-2
{
5. GROUP ACTIVITY: SITUATION WORKSHEETS
The video showed situations where teens were being pressured to do
something they didn’t want to do.
Now we are going to do an activity that will help you practice handling
peer pressure situations.
Each group has 10 seconds to pick a speaker and a recorder.
Ready? Go!
Hands up!!
{ TL-1:
Hand out one situation worksheet to each recorder.
On each worksheet is an example of peer pressure. Read the situation and

answer the questions as a group.
Ready?
Go!!
Stop!
Pencils down!! Hands up!!! Now let’s hear from each group.
TL-2:
When all worksheets are completed, you will read each group’s situation and then
have the speaker read the group’s response to the questions. Pick up and keep
{
{
worksheets as you paraphrase each group’s answers.
{
Make sure each group has a recorder (with a pencil) All groups will report their answers before going
and a speaker before the teen leaders go to the on to page six.
next page to start the activity. If needed, ask all the If necessary remind TLs that they should read the
recorders to raise their hands; this will confirm each questions. If necessary remind TLs to pick up the
group is ready to start. worksheets and paraphrase their answers as they
walk to the next group.
{ TL-1
{
6. POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE PEER PRESSURE
We’re talking about peer pressure today. Peer pressure isn’t always a bad thing. Let’s
talk about how our peers can inuence us in both positive and negative ways.
?
What are some negative things your friends and
peers can inuence you to do?
LEADERS:
Possible answers:
negatives: cheat on a test, skip school, pressure you to have sex {
?
What are some positive things your friends and peers
can inuence you to do?
{
LEADERS:
Possible answers:
positives: do homework together, try out for sports, support being abstinent
Our friends can inuence us in many ways. It’s important to develop your own values
and beliefs and stick with them.
Remember, you do not have the right to pressure another person.
You can state your wants and feelings, but if the other person disagrees, respect that.
Be prepared to assist with discussion if needed.

{
{ TL-2
{
7. UNDERSTANDING PEER PRESSURE
Most teens aren’t having sex, so when you hear, “everybody’s doing it,” that’s
not true. Just because someone says they’ve had sex doesn’t always mean they
really did.
Okay, now I need your help. When I point to you I want the whole class to yell
“NO.” Let’s practice this a couple of times.
(Read information. Stop and point when you come to a NO.)
• If you say NO to sex, that’s what most students are saying.

• Saying NO to sexual involvement allows you to take advantage of other
opportunities.
• You always have the right to say NO when someone is pressuring you.
• No matter what has happened in the past, you always have the right to
say NO to sexual involvement.
Now we’re going to watch a video that will help you understand different types
of relationships.

{ TL-1
{
8. UNDERSTANDING RELATIONSHIPS
Let’s look at the different types of relationships listed on this poster.
{
(Read poster) (Prop 3-8)
D DIFFERENT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS

• Acquaintances – Classmates, someone you recognize.
• Friends and best friends – You can trust them, talk directly to them, share ideas
and feelings and enjoy doing things together.
• Dating relationships – Enjoy being with them and expressing your feelings
through words and actions. You might hold hands, hug or kiss. You can set limits
on how feelings are physically expressed.
• Committed relationships – This relationship develops over time; long-term

commitments such as marriage are often made. This relationship is dened by
depths of feeling, not level of physical affection.
You can point out that relationships within families, grandparents, siblings and parents, are also
committed relationships that revolve around depth of feelings, not level of physical affection.
{
{ TL-2
{
9. RELATIONSHIP DISCUSSION
Because our relationships with people are important to us, it is sometimes very
difcult to say NO to someone we care about.
Look at the four different types of relationships listed on this poster.
Let’s talk about the kind of things that we may say or do with people in each of
the four relationships.
{
?
Acquaintances: What are some things that you may say or
do with people you don’t know very well?
Friends/best friends: What are some things that you say or

do with friends or best friends?
Dating relationships: What are some things that you say or

do with someone you’re dating?
How many of you know someone in a committed relationship?

Raise your hand if you do.
Committed relationships: What are some things people in

committed relationships say or do?
If response is “have sex,” remind class that relationships

are dened by depths of feeling, not level of physical affection.
Ask class, “What would be something else they could do?”
{
{

Make sure TLs refer to the poster during this discussion.

• If TLs need help with the discussion, give students some ideas of what they could
do in each relationship.
If needed, assist teen in response to “Have sex.”
{
{ TL-1
{
10. SUMMARIZING THE RELATIONSHIP DISCUSSION
?
How many of you think friends/best friends are a really
important relationship to you right now and why?
As you can see, there are different kinds of relationships and even the closest
relationships do not have to involve sex.
Our friends are very important to us and sometimes we feel pressure to

give in.
We want them to like us and we don’t want to hurt their feelings or make
them mad.
Peer pressure comes from people close to our age and can be the most difcult
type of pressure to handle.

{ TL-2
{
11. SETTING LIMITS ON PHYSICAL AFFECTION
One of the ways we can deal with pressure from our friends is to think about our own
personal limits before we are in a situation where we will need to say NO.
?
What does it mean to set a limit?
LEADERS:
Paraphrase and summarize students’ responses.
That’s right. A limit is a point you will not go beyond.
Whether you are in a dating relationship or not, it’s important to think about your own
personal stopping point and set a limit on physical affection based on your own
values and beliefs.
It can be harder to set boundaries in the heat of the moment, when you or the other
person might be tempted to go past your limit.

{ TL-1
{
12. GROUP ACTIVITY: SEVEN LEVELS OF PHYSICAL AFFECTION
Before we begin the activity, we want to remind you to follow the ground rules,
especially to “respect the ideas and opinions of others.”
These are the seven levels of physical affection that we will be thinking about.
Uncover the seven levels poster.

{ TL-1
{
12. GROUP ACTIVITY: SEVEN LEVELS OF PHYSICAL AFFECTION - CONTINUED
•
Seven Levels of Physical Affection

• Friendly looks and smiles
• Hold hands
• Put arms around
• Hug and kiss
• (Sexual) Touch above waist
• (Sexual) Touch below waist
• Have sex
Everyone will receive a small piece of paper so you each have your own copy of the
seven levels to refer to.
LEADERS:
Distribute seven-level handout.
TL-1
Get ready to stand near the “Have sex” sign. Ask, “Did you understand the
question?” and REPEAT the question. Then, step away from the student.

{ CF
{
Look at the seven levels of physical affection. I will be asking you ve questions
and I want you to answer these questions in your head. We gave you a piece of
paper with the seven levels listed on it. This is just to look at right now.
This is about your ideas and opinions, not what your friends or classmates think.
Before we start, tell me how long a dating relationship usually lasts for students
your age? (Decide on a response to use for Question 5.)
{
1.Where do YOU think the limit on physical affection for students
your age should be?
Pause briey and emphasize that students should be answering these questions in
their head. Be sure to read each question twice.
2. Where do your FRIENDS — the people you hang around with —

think your limit on physical affection should be?
3. If we asked the older STUDENTS in the seventh and eighth
grades, where would they think your limit should be?
4. Where do PARENTS and other ADULTS think your limit
should be?
5. Where would you set your limit if you knew the relationship was
going to last for ______________________?
This is not necessarily what you are doing but is based on your ideas
and opinions.
Remind students this is a silent activity about their individual ideas and opinions, not their
classmates. They should be answering the questions in their heads, not writing on the paper. {
{ CF
{
Everyone take out a pencil. On the piece of paper we gave you, circle your answer
to this question.
Where do YOU think the limit on physical affection for students your age should
be? Please circle your answer and fold the piece of paper in half. Please be honest
about your opinion; don’t let your friends tell you how to think.
TL-1
Stand near the “Have Sex” sign. Ask, “Did you understand the question?” and
REPEAT the question. Then, step away from the student.

{ CF
{
13. FACILITATING GROUP EXERCISE
Now listen closely. When I say, “GO,” I want you to get out of your chairs and
move under the sign that matches what you circled.
We want everyone to feel comfortable expressing their ideas and opinions.
There are three rules we need you to follow for this activity. No talking, no
pointing, and no laughing at someone for where they are standing. If we see any
rule breakers, we’ll just ask you to take a seat.
READY?
GO!!
Remember, just because you are standing under a particular sign doesn’t mean
that’s what you’re doing. It’s where you think students your age should be.
?
If someone is standing under a sign that is different from what
they circled because their friends are at a different sign, what is
this a good example of? (peer pressure)
This is exactly what peer pressure feels like.
This is how easy it is to give in to pressure from your friends.
I’m going to ask you the rest of the questions again. You can move if your answer
is different from where you are now, or you can stay where you are if your answer
is the same.
The goal is not to force the students to stand under a Keep the questions and movement going. Don’t pause
certain sign. very long between the questions and don’t over use
If a large number of students stand under the “Have the “hands up” ground rule. If necessary, remind the
Sex” sign, remind students that peer pressure may be students of Ground Rule #3, to respect each others
influencing them and that most teens their age aren’t ideas and opinions, no laughing at people for where
having sex. they are standing.
{ CF
{
13. FACILITATING GROUP EXERCISE - CONTINUED
Continue exercise questions:
Read all the questions carefully, TWICE! Emphasize key points in
each question. Give students permission to pass if they are having
trouble making a decision or if the signs around the room do
not represent what they think.
2. Where do you think your FRIENDS — the people you hang around
with — think your limit on physical affection should be? Ready? Go!!
3. If we asked the older STUDENTS in the seventh and eighth grades, where
would they think your limit should be? Ready? Go!!
4. Where do PARENTS and other ADULTS think your limit should be?
Ready? Go!!
Before you make your decision on this last question, remember what you
want for yourself, your family’s values and beliefs, and what is important
to you.
Regardless of what has happened in the past, you can set a different
limit today.
5. Where would you set your limit if you knew the relationship was going to last
for ______________________?
This is not necessarily what you are doing but is based on your ideas
and opinions.
Great job! Please return to your seats.

{ TL-2
{
14. SUMMARIZING OF GROUP ACTIVITY
Hands up!
In the rst four questions we asked where other people think your limit should
be. Then we asked you to set a limit for yourself. As you moved around the room
?
some of you may have experienced peer pressure.
Why is it important to set a limit?
What should a person think about when they set a limit?
If someone is pressuring you and you say ‘NO,’ but they keep
pressuring you, what does it say about that person?
Nobody has the right to push you past your personal stopping point.
The limit you established today is a personal stopping point and nobody has the
right to push you past it.
It may change at different times of your life, but it is important to set your own
personal stopping point and stick with it, especially in a pressured situation.
You may want to keep this piece of paper, take it home, and have a discussion
with your parents or a supportive adult in your life.

{ TL-1
{
15. GROUP DISCUSSION
We’ve just explored setting stopping points around physical affection.
?
Now, let’s imagine a friend went to a party and got drunk or high.
{ What could happen to his or her stopping point?
How could someone feel, and what could happen if a person

went past their personal stopping point?
LEADERS:
Repeat answers back to the class and paraphrase. Examples: have sex, get or
cause a pregnancy, STD/STI, bad reputation.
{
You can assist teen leaders by setting up an example such as:
“Let’s say a teen has set a limit at hugs and kisses.
If they go to a party and get drunk, how would this affect their limit?”
{ TL-2
{
Here are some things we learned today.
(Read information)
• There are many ways to show affection for another person without
having sex.
• Couples can make decisions to stop at any level. You should always respect
your stopping point and your partners. If you can’t agree on a stopping
point, consider nding someone with similar beliefs.
• Remember, you always have the right to say NO and set your own limits
about how people touch you. If someone challenges your limit, it’s a
problem and we will talk about that in Lesson Four.
Because peer pressure is so tough to handle, we’ll spend next week practicing
a Three Step Assertive Skill that will help you be successful in handling pressure
from your friends.
This week, talk to a parent or other trusted adult about how peer pressure
affected his or her life when that person was your age, and how the adult deals
with peer pressure now.
LEADERS:
Pass out worksheet.
See you all next week.

After you and TLs say goodbye to the class, don’t let them leave before giving them constructive feedback
and asking them what they want to improve on for next week.
Dear Parent or Guardian,
As part of the My Future-My Choice program your student has been asked
for your help with a worksheet assignment.
This week we talked about pressures we all feel in our daily lives, peer
pressure being one of the more powerful. Please take some time this week
to talk with your student about how peer pressure has affected you in your
adult life, and how it has affected your student.
1) How do you handle peer pressure in your adult life?
2) How did you handle peer pressure as a child?
3) How does both positive and negative peer pressure from your friends
inuence you?
4) How do you deal with people who pressure you?
5) Do you set limits before you go into difcult situations where you know
people will pressure you?

LESSON 4: Learning assertive techniques
L e ss o n 4
Learning assertive techniques
A LESSON 4: Learning assertive techniques
IMPORTANT NOTE
Preview teen leaders role-plays before going into the classroom.
CLASSROOM SETUP
MATERIAL LIST
• Prop 4-1 through 4-7 (review cards) 4 1-4- by 11 inches.
• Prop 4-8 through 4-10 (First, second and third assertive steps) posters.
• Video/DVD (segments 11 and 12).
• Stop / caution signs 8 1-2 by- 11 inches.
• Handout: Pressure lines / Three Step Assertive Skill.
• Three Step Assertive Skill cards (optional).
• Assist teen leaders in guiding the discussion during the story. Instruct them to complete
sentences in the story and stop at markers before asking students about their signs.
• Classroom facilitator will introduce all teen leader role-plays and teen leaders will introduce all
student role-plays.
• Remember to announce to the class that the next lesson is the last lesson.
It is VERY important to view the role-plays BEFORE  Cue video to begin at segment 11.
the teen leaders demonstrate them in the classroom
to ensure they are appropriate and done correctly. This  See Role-Play Guidelines on following pages.
helps ensure the middle school students see a great  Copy the “Pressure Lines” and “Three Step Assertive
demonstration of the skills we want them to duplicate. Skill” handout double sided. Make enough copies for
each student to have their own.
LESSON 4: Learning assertive techniques B
LESSON 4
OBJECTIVE: To think ahead about setting personal stopping points and limits to learn assertive
skills that will allow each teen to clearly state these limits in a condent manner.
MAIN IDEAS: Teens are often faced with choices that require standing up for their own values
or giving in to peer pressure. We are asking teens to begin exploring their own
beliefs and supplying them with effective tools to help them make good, condent
decisions in pressured situations.
REVIEW • Review cards.
• Story “Avoiding the setup” – stop/caution signs.

• Video on body language.
• Video on assertive skills.
• Discussion on assertive/aggressive behavior.
ACTIVITIES • Role-play.
#1 = Ineffective “NO.”
#2 = Three Step Assertive Skill.
• Class pairs up and practices Three Step Assertive Skill.
• Three main points.

SUMMARY • Closing (skills learned).
• Explain what will happen next week.

C LESSON 4: Learning assertive techniques
ISSUES IN LESSON 4
This lesson is about helping students understand they CAN do something about being pressured,
and they CAN get out of a pressured situations without giving in and without losing
a friendships or relationships. They need to practice this skill in order to have condence to
perform it.
1. REVIEW CARDS: Plan a response/paraphrase for each review card that

acknowledges what the student has said.
2. READING THE STORY: Be sure to read the story slowly, stop at each marker and call on
the students.
3. GROUP ACTIVITY: Explain to the students that we know how difcult it is to think of
what to say when you are being pressured so we’re giving them
some things to say.
• Make sure you are taking your role-play seriously. If you laugh,
the students will laugh.
• When you demonstrate the three steps together, we will ask the
students to hold up hands when each step is completed.
• Move around the room, listen to the students as they do their

role-plays and assist them in doing them correctly.

LESSON 4: Learning assertive techniques 1
{ TL-1
{
1. INTRODUCTION AND REVIEW
Hi. Nice to see you again. How is everybody doing this week?
Let’s begin by reading some review cards.
LEADERS:
Ask for volunteers. Distribute review cards. Hand to students one at a time. Have
students stand and read card aloud. Paraphrase and emphasize key points.
(Review cards) (Prop 4-1 through 4-7)

• You can get pregnant or cause a pregnancy the rst time you have sex.
• Most students in this school are not having sex.
• TV, magazines and music may inuence our decisions on sexual
involvement.
• It is up to YOU to decide how media messages will inuence YOUR
decisions so you can make the most of your future.
• Peer pressure comes from kids around us and is the most difcult pressure
to handle.
• I always have the right to set my own limits and say NO!
• Other people do not have the right to pressure me and I do not have
the right to pressure others.

2 LESSON 4: Learning assertive techniques
{ CF
{
2. LESSON OVERVIEW
Today we are going to talk about setting limits and watch a video that will
introduce the Three Step Assertive Skill. Later on, you’ll have a chance to practice
the skill by role-playing with another student.

{ TL-2
{
3. STOP/CAUTION ACTIVITY
Now we’re going to do an activity that will help you practice thinking ahead and
setting limits.
I’m going to read a story. In this story the boy will be pressuring the girl, but we all
know girls can pressure boys too.
As you listen to the story think about what you would do in this situation.
Everyone will receive a sign that has STOP on one side and CAUTION on the other.
{
TL-1 AND CF:
Distribute the “STOP/CAUTION” signs to everyone.
Be sure to keep one for yourself.
?
Can anyone tell me what the word caution means?
{
That’s right. It means to slow down, be alert and think about what could happen if you
keep going.
Everyone hold up your sign and shake the noise out of it.
Stop!
Now that all the noise is out of the signs we can go ahead with the story.
{
Help distribute the Stop/Caution signs. You and TL1 should keep one for yourselves.
TLs are trained in an exercise to “shake the noise” out of the signs to help with classroom control.
You and TL1 shake yours too. {
{ TL-2
{
3. STOP/CAUTION ACTIVITY - CONTINUED
continued from pg 3
The title of this story is “Avoiding the setup.”
{
At any time during the story, if you think David or Vickie should stop or be
cautious, hold up your sign. We may stop and ask you why you have your
sign up.
 STOP here and ask why sign is up, paraphrase answers.
Vickie is 15 years old and has recently started going out with David, who is
17. Vickie is very excited about the attention she is getting from her volleyball

teammates because she is dating an older guy. Usually, Vickie goes along with
whatever David wants, because she doesn’t want to take a chance that he’ll stop

liking her. 
Vickie and David have never talked to each other about their personal stopping
points. Vickie’s pretty sure that she wants to wait until she is older before she has
sex. David hasn’t really made up his mind about sex, but his friends keep giving
him a hard time about being a virgin. 
One day, as they are sitting with other students in the lunchroom, David invites
Vickie to his house to listen to some music on his new stereo until his parents
get home. 
David has been acting weird all day and whispering to his friends. Vickie really
likes going out with David and until today she has always felt comfortable with

him. So, she decides to go. When they arrive at the house, David says, “My
stereo is in my bedroom. Come on; let’s go listen to some music. I’ve got a great
new CD.” 
David places a CD in the stereo and pushes “play.” A slow, sexy song begins to
play. Even though David is nervous, he invites Vickie to sit on the bed with him. 
Vickie is very uncomfortable with the whole situation. If her parents nd out that
she was in David’s house when his parents weren’t home, she’ll be in big trouble.
She’s also concerned about how far David wants to go. 
{
Be sure the story is read loud enough and isn’t class what they think about the story to
rushed. Make sure TL finishes the sentence before prompt discussion.
calling on students holding up their signs. Be sure to steer discussion away from any “male
• Due to time limits, have TL resume story after bashing” on David. Remind the class that we
taking 2 or 3 comments. really don’t know what David wants because
they haven’t talked.
• If no signs are going up, either you or TL1 can
hold up your sign and be called on, or ask the If short on time, ask TLs to stop at the end of
each paragraph instead of at each star.
{ TL-2
{
3. STOP/CAUTION ACTIVITY - CONTINUED
continued from pg 4
OK, we’re done with the signs now. We are going to pick up the stop/caution signs
while we talk about this story.
TL-1 AND CF:
Pick up STOP and CAUTION signs during discussion.
{
David and Vickie have found themselves in an uncomfortable situation.
?
They’ve both been pressured. Where did it come from?
What should they do?

(go someplace public and talk)
Here’s what they do:

Vickie decides to be honest with David and tell him how she feels. She explains to
David that she’s very uncomfortable being in his room or even in his house alone. David
is relieved. The only reason he invited Vickie over was because he felt pressure from his
friends to have sex. Later, David and Vickie discuss what their personal stopping points
are. David admitted that he was actually relieved they didn’t do it. They both agree that
an important part of a healthy relationship is to talk about each other’s limits and not
to pressure one another.
{ Only if students say David is going to rape Vickie, tell students this could be a dangerous situation
and could have been avoided if they both had made different choices. Be careful not to single out
Vickie.
{ TL-1
{
4. LEARNING ASSERTIVE SKILLS
In the story Vickie and David were able to keep their relationship because
they nally talked about their limits even though there was a lot of pressure
to have sex.
Most of the time if you state your limit and stick with it, things will work out.
But sometimes you trust a person and it doesn’t turn out the way you thought
it would. This could lead to a difcult situation.
That’s what we are going to work on now: pressure in a relationship and

developing skills to say NO without hurting or angering the other person.
Now we are going to watch a video that will show us the difference between
being assertive and being aggressive.

{ TL-2
{
5. TEEN LEADER DISCUSSION: AGGRESSIVE VS. ASSERTIVE
Let’s talk about how to say NO to someone you like.
We’ve all seen people be mean, nasty, rude, or get up in someone’s face when they say
NO. That’s being aggressive. This style doesn’t usually keep friends.
We want you to know how to say NO in a more respectful way, but still stand up for
what you believe without being rude. That’s being assertive.
Aggressive behavior can make others angry, want to get in your face, or break up
with you.
Being assertive allows you to look the person in the eye and calmly tell them how you
feel, in a clear, condent and respectful way.
?
If they got mad or got their feelings hurt when you respectfully said
NO, what did you learn about them?

{ TL-1
{
6. ASSERTIVE SKILLS VIDEO
Now we are going to watch another video. In this next video you will see a boy
pressuring a girl and then the girl will pressure the boy. They will switch roles
several times. Don’t get confused when they change roles; they are just trying to
show us girls can pressure boys.

{ CF
{
7. TEEN LEADER ROLE-PLAY #1: “THE INEFFECTIVE ROLE -PLAY”
(teen leader) and (teen leader) will do some acting for you. Listen to their
words and see how they act.
Watch to see if (teen leader’s name) is effective in saying NO.
Action!
LEADERS:
Role-play the wrong way to say NO.
no eye contact look away whine
give reasons move around don’t say NO
use a quiet voice nervous hands step back
TL1: You should come over tonight. My parents will be out late; we can invite our
boy/girlfriends over and do whatever we want.
TL2: Um, I’m not sure.
TL1: We may never get a chance like this again.
TL2: I think I have some homework to do.
TL1: Bring it over. I can help you.
TL2: I don’t know. continued on next page

Cut!!
{ CF
{
8. TEEN LEADER ROLE-PLAY #1 DISCUSSION:
INTRODUCING THE THREE STEP ASSERTIVE SKILL
?
continued from pg 9
Was (teen leader) effective in saying NO? Why not?
Who had the power in this role-play?
Ok, now let’s take the same situation and this time (teen leader) will demonstrate the
Three Step Assertive Skill.
{
Review all three step posters as you introduce the role-play. Don’t be afraid to
restart the role-play if steps are missed.
(Prop 4-8, 4-9 and 4-10)
{
The rst step is to say NO rmly and repeat it.
If that doesn’t work, go to the second assertive step by telling the person how the
pressure makes you feel, then asking, “Why do you keep pressuring me after I said
NO?”
Then go on to the third step by refusing to discuss it any more, and suggest
another activity.
When you hear (teen leader) say NO the second time, hold up one hand. When you
hear the question “Why do you keep pressuring me when I said NO?” hold up the
other hand, and when you hear another activity suggested, put your hands together
quietly.
Action!
{ {
Review/refer to steps one, two and three on posters. a respectful way. Example: “Let’s show the class one
Remind TL demonstrating steps to stand facing more time all three steps by saying No and reversing
the posters. the pressure by letting TL name know how the
pressure makes you feel and ask why he/she
As TLs demonstrate role-play point to the keeps pressuring you after you’ve said no.
corresponding line on posters.
Then TL name can refuse to discuss it and come
Be sure the 2nd step is demonstrated clearly in the up with something fun to do together.”
role-play and, if not, ask TLs to repeat the role-play in
{ TL-1 and 2
{
8. TEEN LEADER ROLE-PLAY #2:
“DEMONSTRATING THE THREE-STEP ASSERTIVE SKILL - CONTINUED
LEADERS:
Role-play the RIGHT way to say NO

Start apart and walk together
No touching
Use effective body language
Use your normal voice
Be assertive
Use eye contact
End as friends
TL1: You should come over tonight. My parents will be out late; we can invite our
boy/girlfriends over and do whatever we want.
TL2: No.
TL1: We may never get a chance like this again.
TL2: No.
TL1: Come on, everyone’s doing it.
TL2: When you pressure me like this I think you don’t care about our friendship.
TL1: I’d do it if I were you.
TL2: Why do you keep pressuring me after I’ve said “NO”?
TL1: I know you want this as much as I do.
TL2: I refuse to talk about this anymore.
TL1: But this is our only chance.
TL2: I have a better idea. Let’s all just go hang out at my house, because my parents
are home.
TL-2 continued on next page

{ TL-2
{
9. STUDENT ROLE-PLAY
In a few minutes you will get to practice all three assertive steps that are on
the posters.
We’re role-playing so it doesn’t matter who your partner is.
You can role-play a friend pressuring a friend to become sexually involved with his or
her boyfriend or girlfriend.
Everyone select a partner at your table.
You have 10 seconds to nd a partner at your table!
Ready? Go!!
{
Hands up!!
TL-1 AND CF:
Give each student a handout with the list of pressure lines and the Three Step
Assertive Skill. Make sure everyone has a partner. If there are an odd
number of students, you should NOT partner with them.
Everyone will receive a handout with pressure lines on one side, and the Three Step Assertive
Skill on the other side.
One of you will work from side one which has the pressure lines. You will read
a pressure line to your partner. You do not need to make up a story; just read a
pressure line.
The other person will work from side two that has the Three Step Assertive Skill. When your
partner reads a pressure line, you will respond by using steps one, two and three.
{
Make a team of three students if the class has an odd number.
Be sure that a TL or you NEVER pressure a student. This could be very uncomfortable for the student.
{ TL-1
{
9. STUDENT ROLE-PLAY - CONTINUED
Remember to be assertive. Be condent, direct, and use your own speaking voice.
You have 60 seconds to practice the role-play.
Ready? Go!!
LEADERS:
If they are shouting “NO” ask them to use a normal voice

because the goal is to stay friends. {
{
Give students enough time to nish the role-plays.
Call time when you hear most students coming up with
other suggestions.
STOP!
Hands up!!
Now switch roles by turning your paper over.
Ready? Go!!
{ odd number.
Make a team of three students if the class has an TLs need to circulate to assist. If students are
shouting, teen leaders need to remind them to be
assertive not aggressive and use their normal voice. {
Be sure that a TL or you NEVER pressure a student.
This could be very uncomfortable for the student.
{ TL-2
{
10. ROLE-PLAY DISCUSSION
Hands up!
?
When you were the one pressuring, how did you feel when your
partner said, “Why do you keep pressuring me after I said NO?”
{
If you reverse the pressure by telling the person how you feel, or by questioning them
about their pressure, the other person is usually forced to stop and think.
You may even stop and question how good a friend that person really is.
If there is no response to this question you can rephrase to assist.

{
{ TL-1
{
11. SUMMARIZE ROLE-PLAY ACTIVITY
This assertive skill can be used in lots of pressured situations.
For example, sometimes older people pressure teens to be sexually involved. These are
very difcult situations to handle.
If an adult or older teen is pressuring you, you can use this skill. You should also tell a
trusted adult who could help you. This could be a parent or someone at your school,
such as a teacher, counselor or principal.
{ ?
In what other kinds of situations could you use this skill?
LEADERS:
If students suggest using them to get out of doing homework

or chores, make sure they understand this skill is meant to
help them out of unsafe situations.
{ Special notes for Classroom Facilitators:
If students suggest using skills on parents, teachers, etc., you may need to step in and reinforce that
these skills were created to help them get out of situations that are not safe for them.
{ TL-2
{
Okay, now I need your help. When I point to you I want the whole class to yell “NO.”
Keep these things in mind:

(Read information – stop and point when you come to a NO.)
• Learning to say NO assertively lets you stand up for your values and beliefs
without hurting your friends’ feelings or making them mad.
• Don’t get tricked into giving reasons or excuses for saying NO.
• Remember, you ALWAYS have the right to say NO to sexual involvement.
If you practice these three steps you will be ready for pressure situations when they
come up.
Next time we will review what we’ve learned so far by playing a game!
This week please take the worksheet home and practice the role-play with a
parent or guardian.
LEADERS:
Pass out worksheet.
See you next week!

{
After you and TLs say goodbye to the class, don’t let them leave before giving them constructive
feedback and asking them what they want to improve on for next week. {
Lesson Four
Worksheet
For the student:

• Read the story.
• Complete the worksheet by lling in the response boxes.
• Practice the role-play with a parent or another adult.
For the parent/guardian:

• Read the story.
• Practice the role-play with your child.
• Discuss how you can support positive limits in your child’s life.
STORY: You are hanging out with a group of friends after school. Some of them
are talking about their sexual experiences. You’re not sure that you’re
ready for sexual involvement and want to wait until you are older.
The role-play begins when one of your friends says:
The Three Step Assertive Skill can help you write your responses:
Step One:
• Say “NO.”
• Keep repeating “NO.”
Step Two:
• State how the pressure makes you feel.
• Ask the person: “Why do you keep pressuring me when I said NO?”
Step Three:
• Refuse to discuss the matter any further.
• Suggest something else.
“So, have you done it yet?”

Hint: Say “NO”.
Your response: _________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
“Don’t you want to know what it’s like?”
Hint: Repeat NO but don’t offer reasons or excuses.
Your response: _______________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
“Oh come on, you should just do it. Everyone else is.”
Hint: State how the pressure makes you feel.
Your response: _______________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
“What are you scared of? It’s going to happen sometime, why not
now?”
Hint: Ask why this person continues pressuring you.
Your response: _______________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
“Don’t you want to take the next step?”

Hint: Refuse to discuss it anymore.
Your response:
“It’s really no big deal.”
Hint: Suggest something else.
Your response: _______________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________

LESSON 5: Reinforcing skills
L e ss o n 5
Reinforcing skills
A LESSON 5: Reinforcing skills
A. BEFORE YOU GO INTO THE CLASSROOM
CLASSROOM SETUP
MATERIAL LIST
• Prop 5-1, 5-3 through 5-5 (Review cards Lesson One) 4 1-4 by 11 inches.
• Prop 5-6 through 5-10 (Review cards Lesson Two) 4 1-4 by 11 inches.
• Prop 5-11 through 5-14 (Review cards Lesson Three) 4 1-4 by 11 inches.
• Prop 5-15 through 5-19 (Review cards Lesson Four) 4 1-4 by 11 inches.
• Prop 5-24 through 5-29 (Team cards) 8 1-2 by 11 inches.
• Blank paper for answer sheets.
• Worksheet: Bonus round situations.
• Score sheet.
• Prizes.
• Assist with classroom management during the review cards.
• Keep score on score sheet concealed from students.
• If needed, here are some time-saving tips:
9 Eliminate one or more rounds.
9 Shorten time used to respond to questions.
9 Move quickly through review cards.
• Have prizes for each student with additional special prizes for each member of the team who has
the most points in the game show.
• Keep actual point scores private. Have leaders share which team had most points. To minimize
teasing among the class, avoid label of the winning team.

LESSON 5: Reinforcing skills 11
{ TL-1
{
1. INTRODUCTION AND REVIEW
Hi. How is everybody?
Today we’re going to play a game.
LEADERS:
Students must be in groups. If possible, groups should be gender-mixed.
The rst part of the game is a review.
The information on the cards will help your team score points, so listen carefully.
There will be four rounds and a bonus round. Everyone will have a chance to
win prizes.
Ground rules do NOT need to be hung up for this session.

 Have fun with session.
 Help keep the pace rapid for the review cards.
 Remember to bring prizes.
2 LESSON 5: Reinforcing skills
{ TL-2
{
2. REVIEWING LESSON 1
In the rst lesson we talked about reasons why some teens have sex and why most
teens wait. I have some review cards. Who would like to read the rst one?
LEADERS:
Distribute review cards one at a time.
Have students stand and read the review cards with a PINK
star in the center, then paraphrase and collect review cards.
Review cards (Prop 5-1, 5-3 through 5-5)
• A girl can get pregnant the rst time she has sex.
• There are many ways to show affection without having sex.
• Unplanned pregnancy, HIV, hepatitis B and other sexually transmitted diseases
(STDs) are all possible consequences of sexual involvement.
• Abstinence is the only 100 percent sure way of avoiding pregnancy and STDs
like HIV and hepatitis B.

{ TL-1
{
In Lesson Two we explored messages from the media. What we watch on TV and at the
movies; what we see and read in advertising and the Internet and the music we listen
to can inuence our decisions about sexual involvement.
LEADERS:
Distribute review cards one at a time. Have students stand and read the review
cards with a BLUE star in the center, then paraphrase and collect review cards.
Review cards (Prop 5-6 through 5-10)
• Advertisers use sex to sell products.

• I don’t have to have sex to feel grown up.
• Most students in this school aren’t having sex.
• TV, magazines and movies most often show love and sex as fun and grown up,
but don’t show diseases, unplanned pregnancies and school dropouts.
• Advertisements on TV and in magazines often want you to believe that if
you buy a certain type of product or wear a certain type of clothes you will
be popular.

{ TL-2
{
In the third lesson, we talked about how difcult it is to handle pressure that comes
from our friends – peer pressure – and we practiced setting personal stopping points.
LEADERS:
Distribute review cards one at a time. Have students stand and

read the review cards with a GREEN star in the center,
then paraphrase and collect review cards.
• It is important to develop my own values and beliefs and stick with them.
• No one has the right to pressure me after I have said NO.
• I always have the right to say NO to sexual involvement.
• Setting limits allows you to be cautious and stop when you want to.

{ TL-1
{
5. REVIEW LESSON 4
In the fourth lesson we learned a new skill to help you say “NO,” even when being
pressured by someone you care about.
LEADERS:
Distribute review cards one at a time. Have students stand and

read the review cards with a PURPLE star in the center, then paraphrase
and collect review cards.
• Being assertive means I let the other person know where I stand.
• The rst assertive skill is to say NO and keep repeating it. I should not offer
reasons or excuses.
{
• The second assertive skill is to reverse the pressure. I need to say how the
pressure makes me feel or I could ask why they keep pressuring me when I’ve
already said NO.
• The third assertive skill is to suggest we do something else and walk away
if necessary.
• In order to be effective when I say NO I must make sure my body language also
says NO.
Ensure the Three Step Assertive Skill cards are reviewed in correct order.
{
{ TL-2
{
6. GAME INTRODUCTION
Are you ready to earn points and win prizes?
Your team can earn points by coming up with the right answers.
The bonus round is worth up to 20 points.
If you are talking while others are speaking, your team can lose points.
Right now, you have 10 seconds to choose a recorder and a speaker for your group.
Ready? Go!!
Raise your hands when you’re ready. Each team will get a numbered sign to help the
scorekeeper and a paper to record their answers.
LEADERS:
Give each group a team number sign and blank paper.

(Prop 5-23 through 5-29)
(CF name) is the scorekeeper and answer judge.

In the rst four rounds you get one point for each correct answer. All teams will read all
their answers out loud for the scorekeeper.
Scoring the game:
Classroom facilitators keep the score on the score sheet –
DO NOT keep the score on the chalk board/overhead or ip chart.
Award one point for each good answer.
Add up team score at the end of each round.

{ TL-1
{
7. THE GAME
Good luck to you all! I will read each question twice and, when I say GO, you will have
60 seconds to answer the questions. Each correct answer is worth one point so write
your answers down as fast as possible. Are there any questions before we start?
Recorders! Hold your pencils in the air until I say go. Do not start writing until I
say GO!
Question number 1: List reasons why most teens wait to become sexually involved.
List reasons why most teens wait to become sexually involved.
You have 60 seconds to answer the question. Ready? Go!!
Stand next to the speakers as they read their answers to make

sure they don’t add any answers they did not write down.
DO NOT PARAPHRASE ANSWERS!
{
Pencils down! Hands up!! Now, let’s hear your answers. When I come to your
group, your speaker will stand and read all your answers. Don’t cross any answers off
your list because all correct answers count for each group.
Recorders, pencils back up in the air until I say GO!
Question number 2: List ways to show someone you care about them without
having sex. Again, list ways to show someone you care about them without having sex.
Ready? Go!!
{
Be sure TL1 tells students they will read the question twice and no one should start
until they’ve heard the word “GO.” Assist with instruction if necessary.
Be sure groups report all their answers for each question. TLs DO NOT need to
paraphrase answers for these four questions.
{ TL-1
{
7. THE GAME - CONTINUED
continued from pg 7
Pencils down! Hands up!! Let’s hear your answers.
Recorders, I need to see your pencils in the air!
Question number 3: List types of media that try to inuence your decisions on
sexual involvement. List types of media that try to inuence your decisions on sexual
involvement.
Ready? Go!!
Pencils down! Hands up!! Now, let’s hear your answers.
Recorders, last time! I need to see everyone’s pencil.
Question number 4: What skills did we learn in “How to say “NO?” This includes
the Three Step Assertive Skill and the ways to be effective when saying “NO!” What
skills did we learn in “How to say “NO?” This includes the Three Step Assertive Skill
and the ways to be effective when saying “NO!”
Ready? Go!!
Pencils down! Hands up!! Let’s hear your answers.
LEADERS:
Collect worksheets.

{ TL-2
{
8. BONUS ROUND: THE STORIES AND ROLE-PLAYS
The bonus round is worth up to 20 points.

Here’s how the bonus round works.
Each group will receive a worksheet.
After your group reads the story, turn the worksheet over and ll in the boxes.
Choose people in your group to present the role-play.
Practice the role-play using the responses your group wrote. Be sure to use your own voice.
Any questions?
We will be circulating around the room to assist you.
You have eight minutes.
Ready? Go!!
LEADERS:
Circulate; get groups on task to complete the activity.

Be enthusiastic and supportive. Ask each group who will do the role-play.
Read each story, then the group will perform their role-play.
Do NOT paraphrase role-play.

{
Stop! Pencils down!! Hands up!!! Now let’s hear from each group. When I call on
your team, your presenters will stand up. I will read your story and then you will read
the role-play.
{
If necessary, help with instructions for the Ensure Bonus Round work sheets are
Bonus Round. gender appropriate for group. Bonus Round role-plays
Each group performs their role-play. are labeled.
TLs will read the groups story, then the students

chosen by each group will read the lines and the
responses their group wrote on their worksheet.
{ TL-1
{
9. SCORING AND PROGRAM FEEDBACK
?
Did you have fun with the game?
While we are adding up the points, we would like to ask you a few questions.
?
What is the one new thing you learned in the program?
?
Out of all the things you learned in the program, what is the
one thing you will use the most?
?
What was your favorite part?
We hope you had a great time.

{ TL-ALL
{
10. PERSONAL STATEMENT
Before we continue there is something we all want to say. I’ll start.
LEADERS:
{
Everyone make a personalized statement about why you
have taken the time to be a teen leader.
Example:
“Thanks for participating. I’ve enjoyed talking with you about postponing sexual
involvement and making healthy choices for our futures.”
Write your statement in the space below.
If appropriate, it’s nice for you to share what you enjoyed most.
{
{ TL-2
{
11. CLOSING
Remember, most students in your school are not having sex.
We also would like to encourage you to apply to be a teen leader when you are in
high school.
We’re ready to announce which team had the most points. It was really close.
Congratulations to team _________. They had the most points.
Goodbye!

Workbook
Teen leader workbook 1
Personal and inclusive, Make I statements

good words to use:
Students Everyone We teen 1
My Young people Middle schoolers

My choice Young adults
I believe My family Us Our
Religious beliefs All of us For me

Share
You
Pointing or telling,
words to avoid Kids They Should
Bad Must
Ought to Can’t Have to
Tell Will Them
I’m a Buddhist, Christian, or ...
Need Could Don’t
Ruin your life
Name, Grade, School: _ ______________________________________________________

Interests:__________________________________________________________________
Why you are doing My Future-My Choice?_ ____________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
classroom management 3
Definite dos!: You are in control. Know the material and use the skills you naturally have. Remember
feedback and cues are given to help you be a better teen leader. Help others and be kind when you
offer help. Have fun in the classroom and smile. Keep the lesson moving; a busy mind is one that will
stay out of trouble.
Appearance: Each school/organization has their own dress code; follow the appropriate code.
Personal grooming clean and neat. No gum, hats or caps when presenting lessons.
Fielding questions: Paraphrasing means repeating in words and phrases that students understand.
Sound as if you agree with the statement and care about what the students say. Respond positively to
show students you care about what they say.
Fielding off-target questions: Acknowledge the question by paraphrasing. Answer the questions
that are covered by the classroom guide. Refer the questions that are not covered by the classroom
guide to others, i.e., always, always, always refer to the parents first, then teacher, counselor or
school nurse.
Monitoring group discussion: Check all written work to avoid being caught off guard. Give good
clues, but don’t give answers. Visit all groups and alternate groups with your partner(s). Shift time as
needed (two minutes may be only 45 seconds in a quick group).
Directing a class discussion: Alternate who is called on. Always require students to raise their
hands otherwise, they won’t see a need to raise their hands. Order the response, point to each raised
hand and let them know when they get to answer. Interact with the entire classroom, not just the part
you see with your dominant eye.Give the students time to formulate the answer and get their hands
up. Rephrase if necessary. Hands up = stop and listen.
Possible problems: Over circulating, Don’t distract from what your partner is doing. Know how you
will call on students and move the discussion along. Work with your facilitator, watch for his or her
cues. Hands off; touch the table, not the student. Stand over the students (be at eye level when talking
one-on-one.)
GOOD LUCK AND HAVE A GREAT TIME!
paraphrasing
The following is a list of all the statements on the review cards.

It’s important to practice paraphrasing so students don’t feel
you’re simply reading to them.
Most students at this school aren’t having sex. 2-1, 5-8

It’s best for teens to wait or postpone sexual involvement. 2-2
A boy can cause a pregnancy the first time he has sex. 2-3
A girl can get pregnant the first time she has sex. 2-4, 5-1
Most teens aren’t ready to deal with the consequences of having sex. 2-5
A myth is an idea some people believe is true even though it has been proven
false or there is no evidence to support it. 2-6
Abstinence is the only 100 percent sure way to avoid pregnancy and sexually
transmitted diseases such as HIV and hepatitis-B. 2-7
TV, movies, music and magazines may influence how we think about sex. 3-1
The media sometimes try to get me to believe that wearing a certain product
will make me look sexy and be popular. 3-2
Messages from the media may not always be obvious, but they can still
influence us. 3-3
Some messages from the media may go against my beliefs and values.
It’s important for me to think for myself. 3-4
It is up to me to decide how I am going to be influenced by the messages
from the media. 3-5
When you say NO to sexual involvement, you are saying what
most teens say. 3-6
You can get pregnant or cause a pregnancy the first time you have sex. 4-1
Most students in this school are not having sex. 4-2, 5-8
TV, magazines and music may influence our decisions on sexual involvement. 4-3
It is up to you to decide how media messages will influence your decisions so
you can make the most of your future. 4-4
6 Teen leader workbook
paraphrasing
Peer pressure comes from kids around us and is the most difficult pressure
to handle. 4-5
I always have the right to set my own limits and say “NO!” 4-6
Other people do not have the right to pressure me and I do not have the right
to pressure others. 4-7
There are many ways to show affection without having sex. 5-3
Unplanned pregnancy, HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases are all
possible consequences of sexual involvement. 5-4
Abstinence is the only 100 percent sure way of avoiding pregnancy
and STDs like HIV and hepatitis- B. 5-5
Advertisers use sex to sell products. 5-6
I don’t have to have sex to feel grown up. 5-7
TV, magazines and movies most often show love and sex as fun and
grown up, but don’t show diseases, unplanned pregnancies
and school dropouts. 5-9
Advertisements on TV and in magazines often want you to believe
that if you buy a certain type of product or wear a certain type of clothes
you will be popular. 5-10
It is important to develop my own values and beliefs
and stick with them. 5-11
No one has the right to pressure me after I have said “NO.” 5-12
Setting limits allows you to be cautious and stop when you want to. 5-14
Being assertive means I let the other person know where I stand. 5-15
The first assertive skill is to say “NO” and keep repeating it. I should not offer
reasons or excuses. 5-16
The second assertive skill is to reverse the pressure. I need to say how the
pressure makes me feel, or I could ask why they keep pressuring me when I’ve
already said “NO.” 5-17
The third assertive skill is to suggest we do something else and walk away
if necessary. 5-18
In order to be effective when I say “NO” I must make sure my
body language also says “NO.“ 5-19
Role-play guidelines
7
Both roles:
1. Start apart and walk together, always coming from the same position. Separate when you end
each role-play.
2. Use setup and responses in guide for both role-plays.
3. No touching, hugging, high fives or holding hands.
4. Use your normal voice but speak loud enough for students to hear pressure lines and responses.
5. Be assertive NOT aggressive. Don’t be mean.
6. End on a friendly note.
Person resisting the pressure:

7. Ineffective role-play – Use scripted role-plays in guide and use poor body language.
8. Effective role-play – Use scripted role-plays in guide and use effective body language.
Role-play situations
9. Boyfriend/girlfriend pressure: “My parents are out tonight, so I’m home by myself. Come
over so we can spend some time alone and do whatever we want!“
10. Friend pressuring a friend: “My parents are out tonight, so you should come over and we can
invite our boyfriends/girlfriends over. We’ll have the house all to ourselves and we can do whatever
we want!”
side one - pressure lines

No one will ever know.

Come on. This may be our only chance.

Please?

Who cares? Your parents will never find out.

Trust me. You won’t regret it.

Come on. Everybody else is doing it.

It’ll be fun!

Just this once?

I’d do it if I were you.

It’s not that big a deal.

Nothing bad will happen.
10 Teen leader workbook
side two - three step assertive skill
Step 1 Say: “NO”

Keep repeating: “NO”
Don’t offer reasons or excuses.
Step 2 Reverse the pressure.

State how the pressure makes you feel.
Ask: “Why do you keep pressuring me after
I’ve said no?”
Step 3 Refuse to discuss the matter any further.

Suggest doing something else.
Walk away if necessary.
off-target questions
Types of questions: 11
Information - Reinforce facts that we cover in the guide and video, e.g., abstinence is the only
100 percent way to avoid a pregnancy or STDs/STIs. Always tell them it is a good
question.
If it is not something covered in the classroom guide or video, tell the student it is
a good question but we don’t cover it in this program. Refer first to parent, then
to teacher, counselor or school nurse.
Personal - Refer to ground rule #1.
Decision - Tell student we all need to make our own decision based on our own personal,
family and religious values. Encourage students to discuss these decisions first
with a parent or a trusted adult.
Possible questions:
What is masturbation?
What are STDs/STIs?
How old were you when you first had sex?
Is it OK to have sex if you use birth control?
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Does sexual involvement include oral sex?
How old do you think someone should be when they have sex?
Can you get an STD/STI by kissing?


13
TEEN LEADER TRAINING EVALUATION
13
Teen leader training evaluation
Date:_______School: ______________________________Your grade: ____
1. Was the training presentation:
a. Easily understood? __________________________________________
b. Fun and enjoyable? _________________________________________
c. Informative? _______________________________________________
d. Engaging? ________________________________________________
If you answer no to any of the above questions, please tell us why: _______
__________________________________________________________
2. Training site:_____________Feedback or comments? _________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
3. Do you believe that you are well prepared to teach My Future-My Choice to
a class?
Yes ________Somewhat_________No________ Don’t know __________
4. Would you recommend this program to interested classmates? Yes___ No___
5. What was positive about attending the training? _____________________

__________________________________________________________
6. What was negative about attending the training? ____________________

__________________________________________________________
7. Is there anything else you want us to know? ________________________

__________________________________________________________
Text of Video Segments 1 Through 12 from
Postponing Sexual Involvement
an Education Series for Young Teens
by Marion Howard and Marie E. Mitchell
Video Segment #1 - Session 1

When I was 14, I thought having sex with my boyfriend was being grown up. I mean, he wanted to
have sex with me, and I thought I would lose him if I didn’t go along with it. Besides, I thought I was
too young to get pregnant, and we didn’t have sex that often anyway.
So, I decided to have sex. I guess I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did, because soon after
we started having sex, I found out that he was also having sex with one of my girlfriends. I couldn’t
believe that he didn’t understand I did it for him. I would have never done it if I knew that I wasn’t as
special to him as he was to me. We got into a fight and we broke up.
Then I missed one period and I was late for my next. I panicked. I couldn’t stand the thought of being
pregnant by someone that I wasn’t even seeing — someone who didn’t even care about me anymore.

The bodies of teens today are developing at a younger age than that of their parents or grandparents.
On the average, girls start getting their periods by about the age of 12. And boys begin producing
sperm by about the age of 13. Once these events start, teens are physically capable of having babies.
Many girls believe they are too young to become pregnant. They believe their age will keep them from
getting pregnant. Some teens believe that a girl can’t get pregnant the first time she has sex. These
are myths. They are not true.
The reproductive facts are that if a couple has sexual intercourse during the time the girl’s egg is being
released and the egg joins with the boy’s sperm, the girl can become pregnant even if it is her first
time having sex.
Having sex can cause other problems besides pregnancy. Teens may get certain kinds of infections
which are only spread through sexual intercourse. Some of these infections have no cures and can
permanently damage body organs.
There is also the risk of getting HIV/AIDS. There is no cure for AIDS and it almost always leads to
death. Also, more and more adults are finding they can’t have a baby because of the infections they
got from having sex as teens.
Some boys and girls think having sex will make them grown up. A lot of boys think having sex will
make them a “man”. A lot of girls think having sex will make them a “woman”. But sex has little to
do with being an adult. Being adult means being able to develop a long lasting relationship, it means
being able to take responsibility within that relationship for the consequences of how you act.
Even if teens use methods of protection there is still a risk of pregnancy or a sexually transmitted
disease. No commercially available method of protection is 100% effective. The only 100% sure way
to prevent a pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease is by saying “no” to sexual involvement.
In fact, having a baby or getting HIV/AIDS can reduce the chances of teens being able to do the
things that make them really grown up, such as finishing school, making enough money to support
themselves and being free to be able to choose their own style of life.
One of the main things that show that people are truly grown up is that they take responsibility for
and are held responsible for their own behavior.

Having sexual feelings and desires are a normal part of the teen years. Wanting to experience
attention and affection from someone outside of the family is also a normal part of being a teen. As
teens, signals from the inside of our body really our hormones make us increasingly aware of our own,
and other’s sexuality.
These hormones can make our body react to sexual thoughts or sexual images when we don’t expect
it to. Since we have no control over having these feelings and reactions, we can’t just make them go
away. So, what can we do? Well first, we need to recognize that these thoughts and feelings exist —
that they are very real and very powerful.
Next we need to learn some appropriate ways to handle them. That’s what we want to do with you
now.
Girl #1: Look at this ad... everything is about sex. It doesn’t matter what
they’re trying to sell you, it has to be about sex. Doesn’t anyone think
about anything else?
Girl #2: It doesn’t seem like it if you go by what’s in the magazines or what’s on TV.
Girl #3: Yeah, I look at these pictures and I think I need to lose some weight.
Girl #2: I wonder if I’m ever going to get to wear something like that.
Girl #1: You’re just thinking about how you look. I’m just thinking about how fine
these guys are.
Boy: Hey, what’s up?
Girls: Hi. How you doing?
Girl #2: Why don’t you join us?
Boy: Oh, I’m about to go hang out with the guys.
Girl #2: I think you’d have a better time if you hang out with us.
Boy: Maybe I’ll get with you later.
Girl #2: You do that.
Girl #3: Chill out, you were coming on so strong.
Girl #2: I don’t know what’s going on with me these days, but every guy I look at, looks good,
real good. I just want to do something to get their attention.
Girl #3: Do you remember a few years ago when we couldn’t stand the thought
of boys... now all we talk and think about is guys. What’s going on?
Girl #2: It’s called hormones.
Girl #1: I thought that was just a guy thing having sexual thoughts pop up in your mind so much
you couldn’t think about anything else.
Girl #3: Yeah! But it’s girls too. Believe me. I’ll be sitting in class and all I can
think about is this great body on the guy sitting across from me. I have
no clue what the teacher is talking about.
Girl #2: We’re almost as bad as the guys.
As you can see, having sexual thoughts and feelings are normal. However, other feelings mix with the
sexual feelings, increasing the pressures we feel. For example, sometimes teenage boys will wonder
how long it is going to take before they begin to feel like and look like a man. Some teen girls worry
about when they are going to feel like and look like a woman. When this happens, some teens may
think, “Maybe if I have sex, it will make me feel more grown up, more of a man — more of
a woman.”
Adults in society can increase internal pressure in teens, too. We may see a lot of people who are older
than us doing stuff we know isn’t right for us. Adults are in a better position to take responsibility for
the consequences of their actions than are teens. Just because an adult is doing something, doesn’t
mean its right for us at our age.
As teens, we need to know how to handle our sexual feelings so as not to feel pressured to act on
them. One way we can respond to the feelings within us is to say: it’s okay to think about sex, its okay
to talk about sex, it’s even okay to show affection towards another person. It’s just not okay to have
sex now.

Boy #1: Hey, John, have you and Shannon done it yet?
Boy#2: No. Why?
Boy #1: Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about having sex with Christina
Boy #3: Well, does she want to?
Boy #1: We haven’t really talked about it. But I’ve been thinking that, well maybe we should do it.
Boy #2: I know how you feel. Like, I think about sex a lot, you know? It just kinda pops into
my head.
Boy #1: Yeah, I feel a lot of pressure inside me, too. And when I hear what some of the older guys
say, it makes me want to know what it would feel like and be like.
Boy #2: I know what you mean. Like when Shannon and I are at a party and we see other couples
kissing and stuff, I think we should be doing more, you know?
Boy #3: Yeah, cause Shannon is very pretty, so I guess I can see why you’d want to do it.
Boy #2: Yeah, but my parents have always tried to make me understand that it’s risky having sex
so young. Then again in the movies, there’s always those hot, sexy, love scenes. You know
it’s kinda hard to figure it all out it’s kinda hard to figure out when’s the right time.
Boy #1: You know, even though Christina really turns me on and there’s this voice inside my head
saying go for it, there’s also this other voice talking back ... saying not now ... you’ve got
your whole future ahead of you. I guess that’s why I haven’t done it.
Feeling these internal pressures and conflicting feelings is normal. They usually come from the natural
desire to fit in, wanting to feel more grown up, or to show love and affection towards another person.
But there are other ways to meet these needs without becoming sexually involved. When you feel
pressured by the voice inside you to become sexually involved, you can control how you respond to
that voice by either not listening and turning your attention to something else or by firmly “talking
back” to that voice.
When you experience internal pressures, you can “talk back” by replacing the thought in your mind
that is urging you on with ones that give you reasons to resist the pressure. For example, let’s see how
Sam talks back to himself when he is feeling pressure to act on his feelings.
Sam: “If I had sex and I told my friends, they’d all be really impressed ... but they wouldn’t
think Iwas so cool if I got a sexually transmitted disease like AIDS.
You are in control of your actions and have the right to say NO to pressures to become sexually
involved, regardless of where the pressures come from.
Here’s another example. This is a common situation that teens find them selves in. This time we want
you to come up with the ways to handle the pressure.
Blonde Girl: So you and Kyle have been together for quite a while now haven’t you?
Brunette Girl: Yeah! Have you guys like done it?
Julie: No…
Brunette: Why not?

Julie: I don’t know, I don’t think he wants to…do you think he wants to?
Brunette: Yeah
Blonde: Yeah
Blonde and Brunette together: He’s a guy!
Julie: I don’t know…I don’t know if I am ready. Should I talk to him about it?
Brunette: No, guys don’t like to talk about stuff like that. You should just do it. Just go for it.
Blonde: Go for it!
Julie: Just go for it?
Blonde and Brunette together: Yeah!
Julie: I wonder if I should. I wonder if he even wants too. It’s not like I really want too. Maybe I
should. I don’t know what to do!
Shirted Boy: Man I am hitting everything today!
Shirtless Boy: Speaking of which, you and Julie?
Shirted Boy: Oh man! Have you?
Kyle: No…not yet.
Shirtless Boy: Why not?

Kyle: I don’t know.
Shirtless Boy: What’s the big deal?

Kyle: I don’t know, I haven’t really thought about it I guess.
Shirtless Boy: Gotta get on that.
Kyle: You think I should?
Shirtless Boy: Yeah!
Shirted Boy: Definitely!
Kyle: I don’t know why my friends keep bugging me about this. I don’t feel ready at all. What if
my parents found out? This just really isn’t what I want.
Julie: Oh hey, Kyle.
Kyle: What’s up?
Julie: My parents aren’t going to be home tonight.
Kyle: What? Oh!!
Julie: You want to come over?
Kyle: Yeah.
Julie: Kyle wait. I have to talk to you about something…
Kyle: Yeah, what’s up?
Julie: I’m pregnant…I just…
Blonde Girl: I can’t believe you’re pregnant.
Julie: I know.

Blonde Girl: Didn’t you guys use protection?
Julie: We did, but I guess sometimes protection doesn’t always work. I don’t know what my
family is going to think of me. Kyle won’t even talk to me. I don’t know what to do about
school or sports…
Blond Girl: You’ll figure it out.
Boy without sunglasses: Kyle! I can’t believe you got her pregnant.
Kyle: I know.
Boy with sunglasses: Dude, what about your basketball scholarship?
Kyle: Yeah about that…they kind of took it away because I have a kid to take care of.
Boy with sunglasses: You gotta think about the future man.
Kyle: Well it’s a little difficult now….
Boy with sunglasses: Do you regret it?
Kyle: Yeah I do, I’m not even talking to Julie.
Boy with Sunglasses: Why?
Kyle: I don’t know…I feel too embarrassed.
Julia: Kyle and Julie’s situation is something that is very common with today’s teens. I know that
with the program we will prevent this continuing trend with teens.
A major pressure to become sexually involved can come from other teens. Some teens feel they won’t
be accepted by others or won’t be a part of the group, unless they go along with the crowd and do
what they think their friends expect of them. Many of these teens don’t want to be sexually involved
but they do it so they’ll feel accepted. No one wants to feel left out or rejected.
Even teens who don’t have sex feel pressure to say they do. These lies make other teens feel everybody
is having sex when they are not. Boys often feel more pressure to lie about having sex than girls.
Pressures on a teen girl to become sexually involved often come from the girl’s boyfriend. The girl
wants to keep the relationship and she’s afraid she’ll lose her boyfriend if she doesn’t have sex with
him. A question teen girls frequently ask is “How can I say no to my boyfriend without hurting his
feelings?”
But girls also pressure boys. And boys can have just as difficult a time knowing how to handle the
pressure from their girlfriends.

Sam: You missed the greatest game last night.
Derrick: Yeah I know, but it was worth it. Michelle’s parents were out and we
went over to her house. We did it if you know what I mean.
Sam: So, how was it? Give us all the details.
James: Do we have to talk about this?
Sam: What could be more interesting than talking about sex?
Derrick: Yeah, James. What about you and Stephanie?
James: Derrick, is sex all you think about?
Derrick: Don’t be so uptight. You can tell us...

James: Having sex right now could mess up my future. I got a lot of things I want
to do with my life.
Derrick: Chill out. I was just asking.

Andy: Hey, looking real good today.
Sheila: Thanks. I do, don’t I?
Andy: Umm, listen, how about coming over to my place this afternoon? No
one’s going to be home and we can be all alone and have some real fun.
Sheila: I know what you want. You just want to have sex.
Andy: What’s wrong with that? You know I care about you. Besides, we might
not get another chance like this.
Sheila: I already told you. I’m not going to have sex. I’m not ready to have sex at
this point in my life and I’m not going to do it.
Andy: Come on. Everyone else is doing it.

Sheila: I don’t care if everyone else is doing it. I’m not everyone. I’m me.
And, besides, I know a lot of my friends aren’t doing it.

Keisha: How’s it going with you and Steve?
Laurie: Well, we’re together all the time ... and when we’re not, he’s always
calling. He calls five times a night. I think he really loves me.
Christina: Well, since things are going so good ... have you guys done it yet?
Laurie: No, of course not.
Keisha: What, you’re still a virgin and going with a guy like that? I’d do it if he
was my boyfriend.
Laurie: I’m just not ready to have sex with anyone.
Christina: Look, if you use birth control, there’s nothing to worry about. You’ll be fine.
Laurie: No method of birth control is 100% safe. Not having sex is the only sure
way of not getting pregnant.

Maria: Hey Carlos, why don’t you come over to my house this afternoon?
Carlos: Oh, I wish I could but I told Mike and José I was going to play basketball
with them.
Maria: Well, can’t you just tell them you’ll meet them later? Because ... my mom
has to take my sister to the doctor and they won’t be home ‘til dinner.
Carlos: Sorry ... but I already made these plans already.
Maria: Look Carlos, you can play basketball any time. This gives us a chance to
be all alone and do whatever we want. Besides, you know you really turn
me on. So why don’t you just tell your friends you’re busy and come over
to my house?
Carlos: Yea … but I already told them I was coming.
Maria: Look, I don’t understand. We’re supposed to be going together. I thought

you wanted me as much as I want you. Besides, what’s the matter with
you anyway?
Carlos: Look, I’m just not interested in getting involved right now. But, that
doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I do. Okay look, you can hang out
while I play basketball and then later on we can go get something to
eat together.
Maria: O.K.
Throughout your life, you will experience a variety of relationships. Some of these relationships will be
close, long lasting relationships and some will not.
At school you know a great many of your peers. Most of them, however, are simply classmates you
do not consider them friends. These types of relationships are referred to as acquaintances. They are
the type of people that you see in the hall and recognize in class, give a friendly smile and say hello
to when you meet them. You may even have a casual conversation. Most often, within these types of
relationships, people do not show affection in a physical way.
There are people we know better and share different types of relationships with. These people are your
friends. You have found them to be people you can trust. You can talk directly and honestly with them
and enjoy doing things with them. You care about their feelings and try not to hurt them. You can put
an arm around them or give them a friendly hug.
You probably feel closer to some of your friends than others. This type of warm comfortable friendship
develops over a period of time. You may share secrets, hopes, and fears with these friends. This is
the type of friend you go to when you’re concerned about a problem you’re having. You feel secure
with this type of friend. You can cry in front of this friend when you can’t cry in front of others. These
friendships are important, meaningful relationships.
If a meaningful relationship occurs in a dating relationship, there may be a desire to express your
feelings in physical ways as well as through words and actions that show that you care. You may want
to hold the person close and kiss them.
You can also have a meaningful relationship with someone you are dating and not show your feelings
to them in that way. You can set limits on how feelings are expressed physically.
Intimate relationships most often occur with a very special friend with whom you’ve developed a
relationship over time. Most often people do not form intimate relationships until they are older. These
relationships may last throughout your
whole life.
Within intimate relationships, people can make various kinds of commitments to one another. They
may share their feelings in very intimate ways. However, in intimate relationships, there can be limits
on the ways in which feelings are physically shown. For example, a person can be in an intimate
relationship with someone and never do more than put a caring arm around them. In other words, it’s
how deeply you feel about each other in a relationship that makes it intimate, not how those feelings
are physically shown.
Sometimes it’s difficult for teens to figure out exactly how they feel. Newly developing sexual feelings
are very confusing and hard to handle. It’s also tough dealing with the social pressure to be like our
peers. It’s hard to sort out our own values and beliefs, especially about sex, from all those different
messages we get from our parents, other adults and the media. We may be curious about what having
sex is like, while at the same time, wondering what our parents would think if we did it or even what
would happen to us if we had sex.
It’s important to remember that it’s okay to think about sex, it’s okay to talk about sex, it’s okay to
develop feelings about sex, it’s okay to show affection towards another person. It’s just not O.K. to
have sex now.
There are plenty of effective ways to say “no”. There are ways you can postpone acting on those
feelings and desires that do not lead to problems. One way is to develop your own set of values and
attitudes about sex that let you do what’s right for you even if your peers have different ideas. Here
are some ways you can express your decision to postpone sexual involvement to others.
Boy: “I wonder what it would feel like and be like, and I’d like to find out, but I’m
going to wait.”
Girl: “The idea of having sex sounds exciting, but I’m not ready for it yet.”
Girl: “I’ve thought about having sex, but I’m not going to do it.”
Boy: “If I was going to have sex with anyone, it would be with you, but I’m not going
to do it now.”
There are also skills you can develop that will help you carry out your belief that you should not
become sexually involved. An important skill is knowing how to look when you say “no.” If you know
how to look, you can become more effective when saying “no” in a situation when someone asks you
to do something you don’t want to do. For example, avoid gestures or mannerisms, such as wringing
hands or continuous shuffling of positions. These send the nonverbal message that you are insecure in
your decision.
Facial expressions, body movements and hand gestures should all reflect your verbal message —
firm and self assured. Make eye contact — look directly at the person; do not stare at the floor or
the ceiling.
We’re going to show you three assertive techniques for saying “NO” plus how to look and act when using
the techniques.
The first technique is to say “NO” and keep repeating it.
Girl: My parents aren’t home, how about coming over?
Boy: No.
Girl: C’mon, we won’t get another chance like this for a long time.
Boy: No, I’m not going to come.
Girl: But I really, really want you to. It means a lot to me.
Boy: No.
If you keep saying “no” firmly enough, and clearly enough, the other person will usually get the message.
Whatever you do, don’t get tricked into giving a list of reasons, and don’t give in to threats.
The second technique is to tell the other person clearly what you think or how you feel.
Boy: You know my parents aren’t home. How about coming over?
Girl: Uh...No.
Boy: Please.
Girl: No. I don’t want to put myself in the position of being tempted to do something that I would later
regret, so I’m not going to come.
If they continue to pressure you, you can also simply tell the other person clearly how their continuous
pressure makes you feel.
Girl: When you keep asking me to come over, after I have already said no, it makes me feel like you
don’t care about how I feel, just about what you want.
Boy: But I really want you to come over.
Girl: When you keep pressuring me like this, it makes me feel angry with you. You’re asking me to
do something I don’t want to do. I’ve already told you no and that makes me feel like you don’t
respect my right to say no.
You can even reverse the pressure by questioning them about why they continue to pressure you after you
have told them what you think or how you feel.
Boy: But if you really cared about me, you’d come over.
Girl: You know, Andy, if you really care about me, then how come you keep pressuring me? I have
already told you no. What are we really talking about here? Whether I care about you or
whether I’m going to give in to what you want?
The third technique is simply refusing to discuss the matter any further.
Girl: You keep saying Andy. Please come.
Boy: Look, I’m not going to talk about it anymore.
Girl: But...
Boy: No, I’ve already told you I’m not going to come over and that’s all there is to it.
If necessary you may just remove yourself from the situation. Just simply walk away.
Now let’s see how to use all three techniques together.
Boy: My parents aren’t home. How about coming over?
Girl: No, I don’t want to.

Boy: Oh, come on, please.
Girl: No.
Boy: Just for a little while.
Girl: Look, this pressure is really making me uncomfortable.
Boy: If you really cared about me, you’d come over.
Girl: What are we talking about? Whether I care about you or whether I will give in to you.
Boy: Relax. Don’t be so uptight.
Girl: Look, I’m not going to talk about it any more. I’ve told you “no” and that’s all there is to it.
The Teen Advisory Board (TAB) is an opportunity for outstanding teen
leaders to further their leadership skills and act as advocates of the
program on a statewide level.
To apply to be a TAB member, students must be:

• An alumni teen leader with classroom experience,
• An 11th or 12th grade student during their term of service.
If you work with a teen leader that is a positive representative of the program, please
encourage them to apply.
Applications can be obtained from your local program coordinator.
DHS 0088 (09 2009)

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dhs: children, adults and families division

Independent. Healthy. Safe.

Thank you for your participation and support.

Successful strategies/Lessons learned:

Independent. Healthy. Safe.

The advantages of postponing sexual involvement

Summary and closing ......................................................................................................... 15

Understanding peer pressure

Teen leader workbook

Teen leader workbook

A LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement

BEFORE YOU GO INTO THE CLASSROOM

Special notes for Classroom Facilitators:

LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement B

• Personal introduction of teens and adults.

• Key points of the lesson.

C LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement

Special notes for Classroom Facilitators:

LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement 1

Hi, I am classroom facilitator from organization / employer .

Hi, I am TL-1 from High School.

Hi, I am TL-2 from High School.

Add a statement about yourself, why you are a teen leader

Instruct students to clear their desks/tables and organize in groups.

Special notes for Classroom Facilitators:

{ Offer something personal about yourself.

2 LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement

We’re here to talk about making healthy choices and postponing

Repeat answers back to the class and paraphrase.

Repeat answers back to the class and paraphrase.

Special notes for Classroom Facilitators:

If necessary, remind (signal) TLs to spread out around the room.

{ If necessary, remind TLs to paraphrase by saying, “What did he/she say?”

LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement 3

What do we mean when we say sexual involvement? Here is our denition:

Special notes for Classroom Facilitators:

4 LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement

(Read information out of the guide.)

(Source: YRBS, Oregon Health Division)

Abstinence means you have made the decision not to do something.

Special notes for Classroom Facilitators:

{ If necessary, be prepared to help with defining abstinence.

If needed, assist TLs in making all answers “good” answers.

LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement 5

During the My Future-My Choice lessons you will:

Special notes for Classroom Facilitators:

6 LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement

Here are the classroom ground rules:

continue on next page

LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement 7

Hands up!!!!” (Wait for class to be quiet.)

Special notes for Classroom Facilitators:

8 LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement

continue on next page

Special notes for Classroom Facilitators:

LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement 9

You have three minutes.

Special notes for Classroom Facilitators:

10 LESSON 1: The advantages of postponing sexual involvement

{ Paraphrase all answers.

continued on next page

Record answers on ip chart / chalk board.

Special notes for Classroom Facilitators: