Fools Issue t,

think
big joke
t.
funny, suck
you page three
because we do, you neo-nazi facist

VOL. 9,989,987,098,098,6523,211 NO. TOO EFfcfe APRIL ll 1993

K e n n e d y , Leisering: C h i a Pet. imitators energize follicles at the Hurst

By Yvonne Maher
Foreign Media Hog
"It felt like a small furry creature," said
William Kennedy as he casually stroked
the foxy curls that now adorn his previ-
ously naked head. I ' m so happy I could
jump up and down and sing Christmas
carols," he said.
Mr. Kennedy and John Leisering are
recent graduates from the John New Hair
clinic and are so ecstatic that they are
proposing to add cash to the budget so
that other egg heads in the faculty and
administration might become like them.
"Yeah, we're so lucky to be the guys
chosen for this experiment," said
Leisering as he purposely blew the
dumps of hair from his eyes, "I'm just
excited that I can stroke my he ad and feel
hair. Now I don't have to rub my chest
or back anymore," he continued.
Special recognition has to go to Gary
Brown who donated the tufts from his
William Kennedy: "Sassy"
beard to be used by Leisering and
Kennedy. "So like it was like this, ya
Hit ir. Like I had the hair, and like they
said they might need it, so, like I said,
;
stick the needle in here and hear me
groan," said Brown. "I just toked up and
took it like a real man. va know," he
John Leisering: "Sassier"
stated.
This project was initiated by the Pies.
Dr. Garvey who contributed in the op-
eration by li ghti ng incense and chanting
okT Irish poems. "Sometimes you just
feel a kind of unexplainable bond with
your compadres. I thought that it'd be
like a president/inferior bonding expert*
ence," stated Garv. "I'm just glad they
took the hair from Gary and not from the
original places they were thinking of!!"
he continued.
& As I continued to interview the control-
tested members of the Mercy hurst com-
munity I noticed that they fondled each
others' locks to check texture. Every so
often they would nonchalantly yank a
fistful, but nothing moved proving the
toughness of the New Hair clinic tech-
nique. I came to the conclusion that
giving and receiving hair could become
a part of the Mercy hurst tradition. I felt
proud to be a part of an institution that
holds no hair sacred when it comes to
personal appearance.
For those of you faculty members who
might look into the minor and see an
extra inch of scalp, don't worry, just go
see the Garv-man and he'll give yon the
inside track on the New Hair clinic.

Media hog finally lands front page

By Jute Gardner I

be Administrative Puppet I

Yvonne Maher, media manipulator

extraordinaire, hasfinallywhined enough
:*&#&

By Craig Rybczynsld (with tips from our fearless editor) to get

Athletic-Kiss Ass [
| i l o h f o n tofrourfdictfpgafesl
Mercy hurst Student Government Piesi-|
dentJohn Bruno won the "I Spell
w
Spel|^|Bee, inj Raleigh, NC,|>n|
"Wensday." But don't ask him to spell
Bruno defeated former Vice President
Dan Quayle In the spell-off by success-
fully spelling the word "potato." Quayle
still thought there was an "e" at the end
of the word. Bruno luckily had the word
on his tee-shirt and read it in the three
minutes allotted to each contestant.
The spelling bee lasted a record ten
hours as Bruno and Quayle battled for
the title. In the heated second round of|
the contest, Bruno stumbled through the
word "cat" According to sources, John
hated the animal so he never learned to
spell the word.
Besides winning a new headband and
fanny pack, Bruno won a year-long sub-
scription to "Hooked on Phonics" for his
efforts! Ji
her picture on the front page of this
disrespected publication. After endless
Wednesday (no, Bruno, not Wens day)
1
nights of trying ;to locate, photos and
hearing "Put my photo in the paper. I've
never been in the paper, Maher has
gotten her way.
The decision was largely brought about A
by Maher blowing her horn about being Yvonne Maher: Get a Life. I
on TV twice\ during the week of St*** brought so much of myself to this cam-
Patrick's day. "I'm from Ireland and \# pus and I think others are beginning to
have excellent communications skills. Foreigner says, "Yes I am a taco. sense this. Did you notice the new ice
Also, Lisa Zompa and I are very tight rink and additions to the college?" she
We went for a few beverages after my in- phone is a special talent of mine. I want asked. 'I'm responsible for this. Also, if
depth interview. That's when she told to make sure all of my friends have had it weren't for my super cool expertise in
me that I will be the main benefactor in a chance to hear all about me before my selling ads, the Merciad crew would
her will," said Maher. She even has her roommates*get personal phone time. never have gone to New York. When
business card. ,, There is an understanding in our home. I Yvonne Maher talks, people listen."
Besides being a media hog, Maher is a make sure of it," Maher said. (Yeahright,Yvonne.) £
senior communications student Cur- Overall, Yvonne Maher has been happy Oh, by the way, almost none of this is
rently she is working very hard in the with her years at Mercy hurst. "I have true. April Foots, buddy!
External Affairs, office and doing an ex-
cellent job, a fact of which she is con-
stantly reminding me. Her duties include
pouring on a thick Irish accent to impress
people on the phone, writing press re-
leases for the Erie Times while boasting
that she is responsible for such eloquence
and telling everyone she sees in Old
Main how wonderful Mary Daly is to
work for.
In her free time, Maher enjoys giving
her roommates grief and a general hard
time. "I don't let them cook unless I can
give my input. It's just a given. You see,
I'm Irish and 1 'm an excellent cook," she
said. She also revels in her apparent
popularity, as demonstrated by record-
breaking numbers of off-campus phone
calls. "Manipulation of the apartment

•
PAGE 2 MERC1AD APRIL!, 1993

Elby Big Boy buys Whalers9

?
ships em to Erie t

By Craig RybczynsM ve." Gotkin defensemen Geoff Sanderson and

The team will shed its Mack and fired management from top to
NCAADiv Zarley Zalapski. However, the
Athletic Kiss Ass gray colors for the blue, green a nd bottom as of next season in an
pionship this season. His career Whalers are far from contending
gray uniforms ofthe current Wha 1- attempt to restructure the team's
The National Hockey League is ers. The team will still be called mark at Mercyhurst is an impres- in the Adams Division. The play-
image.
coming to Erie! This week, in an the Whalers. For their inaugural sive 84-60-6. • offs will be tough to crack in their
Consequently, Elby's named
unprecedented move, the NHL season, the Whalers will play at Gotkin said, "It is a great honor. first season in Erie. The team is
Mercyhurst's Hockey Informa-
announced that Erie, Pennsylva- the Erie Civic Center. The city of For a head coach to reach the optimistic about its chances for
tion Director John Leisering the
nia, will be the future site of the Erie will accommodate the team NHL is the ultimate goal. I'm just the future.
team's new General Manager. He
Hartford Whalers for the 1993-94 by expanding the arena for open- happy to be joining the franchise ^Assistant coach Craig Barnett
will join Laker coaches Rick
season. The move comes just ing day. This will be the tempo- and being able to stay in the city said, "With a solid staff and
Gotkin and Craig Barnett, who
weeks after the Minnesota North rary site of the team until the city of Erie. I will, however, miss all knowledgea ble people in the front
have been named as head and
office, the Erie Whalers should
Stars announced their plans to constructs the 18,000 seat assistant coach, respectively. the great people that I have met
fa re better than they did in former
11(1ve to Dallas, Texas, next sea- AquaDome on the shores of Also, ex-Laker forward Steve Ipri while at Mercyhurst"
son. Gotkin hopes that he can lure Connecticut home. Also, I think
Presque Isle Bay. has been selected as chief scout
it helps that Rick and I have
The Hartford franchise decided Elby's is confident Gotkin can some of his former Lakers to try
to move to Erie because Elby's do the job as head coach. Accord- out for the team. Rumors are cir- worked together before."
Inc. put up the $100 million they ing to Elby's officials, "Gotkin is culating about the possible return 'Tickets for the upcoming sea-
were asking. The company has just the man we need to lead the of Scott Burfoot to the area. The son are now on sale. For further
already begun its advertising cam- Whalers into the playoffs. He is a team Gotkin inherits does have information, contact the Erie Civic
paign which includes the Big Boy fiery coach who leadsby example. some talent with the likes of Center Ticket Offices at 1-800-
throwingfishsticks at fans. Also His credentials are also very im- goaltender Sean Burke and GO-WHALERS.
inthe works are the Whale Burger
and Fish Night in Erie. Local fish-
eries are gearing up for the "Com-
ing of the Whale." f fe
For Erie, it is the first major
Squid Wins! Squid Wins!
professional team to come to the
city which should help increase By Craig Rybczynski Duck's goalie John Phelps. Burt Johnson added one in the
ticket sales. Erie's geographical Athletic Kiss Ass In the second half of the game, Ducks comeback.
location is also ideally suited for the Squid' s hi gh -powered offense In the final minute, each team
a franchise. The team can draw What do water polo and sankf the Ducks. The Hurst battled for the winning shot The
fan support from Buffalo, Pitts- Mercyhurst College have in com- stormed back to score six straight Squid' sjunior tri-cap tai n Hoshaw
burgh and Cleveland. Further- mon? The Hurst established the goals. The pool belonged to scored the game winner off
more, it sets up a natural rivalry new sport over spring break with Narusewicz as the former Polish Narusewicz's rebound with time
with the Buffalo Sabres. Sabres the help ofaquatic expert Dr. Allan National team player inspired his running down. Hoshaw, a Phila-
officials are exited about the pos- Belovarac. Mercyhurst sent the team. Shaggy scored a school delphia native, gave the Squid an
sibility of a team in Erie. Squid to tangle with the Fighting record five straight goals. On the emotional victory and a shot at
The team will also have local Ducks of Oregon State and upset Pole line along with Yarosz, the next week's tournament in San
ties to Mercy hurst College. The the eighth-ranked team in the na- duo gelled in theirfirstgame to- Jose, CA.
team will practice at the tion, 9-8 on Chris Hoshaw's goal. gether. Yarosz also led the team The Squid next will be in action
Mercyhurst Ice Center and have The Squid entered their first in penalty minutes as he was as- on April 3 and April 4 in the San
" T h e Chief" John Leisering: named four members of the Hurst match in front of a capacity crowd sessed a game misconduct for in- Jose Shark Water Classic. The
at the Oregon Water Palace. tentionally drowning a Duck
Big shot gets hockey team. to its staff. The Whalers have field of contestants features the
Mercyhurst defied the odds as it player. Defenseman Jason Lewis' powerhouses of the water polo
over came the home crowd and a goal staked Mercyhurst to a 8-4 world as the University of Texas,
Kubiak calls God collect four goal deficit to win its first
North Atlantic Polo Conference
game.
advantage.
The Ducks showed why they
UCLA and the University ofCali-
fornia are scheduled to compete.
By Craig RybczynsM are ranked in the top ten this sea-
a book deal. Kubiak will also go The tournament can be seen tape
Athletic Kiss Ass Dr. Belovarac expressed his son, as they came back and tied
on the talk show scene starting delayed both days at 10 p.m. on
enthusiasm after the victory. He the contest With time running
June 3, as he will first appear on Mercyhurst's HTV. Announcers
said, "The team showed real char- down, the Ducks' Paul Mann beat
Those people who pray believe The Ophra Winfrey Show. John Danknich and Keith Courson
acterby coming back and beating Steen with an over head shot in
they are. talking to God. In Rich- Donahue, Larry King and the will bring you the action from
a tough squad in their home pool." the upper left hand corner of the
aid Kubiak 'scase he literally does.David Letterman Show will soon pool side.
follow. Representatives for Ophra The Squid's youth and inexpe- net Craig Starks scored twice and
Reports are circulating out of the rience showed in the game's first
Vatican in Rome, Italy, that, yes, said, "It is the biggest thing to hit
America since spam; n minutes as the Ducks {beat
Kubiak has talked to the Holy Mercyhurst goalie Bill Steen four
One. An autograph session will be
heldlin the Carolyn Herrmann times on five shots. Steen fin-
MCI officials tapped Kubiak's ished the game as the first star
phone and have decoded his chats Student Union this weekend. Ex-
tra credit will be given* with 20 saves. His last save won
with God. Usually the topic is, the game for the Squid as he dove
"Why can't you give me quality across the crease to deflect Pavel
students." He is a teacher at the Dvorak's shot wide of the goal.
Hurst who instructs students in On offense, the Ducks were led
courses dealing {with Medieval byforwardNikolai Popoff who
and European history. Kubiak on netted three goals. The Squid were
several occasions has had lengthy led by senior Bryan "Shaggy"
conversations with the Lord about Narusewicz who used his hockey
the;status of the world and his expertise to set up four goals and
classes. Apparently he is asking score five.
ft
God to give him his first "A In thefirsthalf, the Squid came
student outflatand watched Popoff lead
Kubiak, stumbled upon thei the Ducks' scoring barrage, as he
number while reading a copy of scored three of the four goals*.
James Bakker's "Babes and However, goalkeeper Steen and
Bikes." It ironically was next to the Squid fought back as?high
an advertisement asking for new school Ail-American Anne
and used leather products. McNeils and Ron Yarosz each
Bakker's book will be required Professor Dick Ragan of the CommunicationsDepartment
netted a single tally to cut the
leading in Kubiak's new class in :aught by a Make Me Mad photographer at the moment of trut
Ducks' lead to two. Yarosz' goal
the Summer Term titled, "I Call He has just swallowed a hefty piece of chalk. After being rush
God Collect" I bordered on spectacular as he took
a feed from defenseman Jeff to the hospital, he was shown to the bathroom where his bo<
Also in the work for Kubiak are D i c k K u b i a k phones the took care of it naturally. The staff wishes him heartfelt get w<
a made-for-television movie a nd Lord. Hutchinson andfireda shot be-
hind his back that skipped past wishes.
w If *
I- ,
> V
U '.

VOU 66 NO. 1% sMERCYHURST COLLEGE, GLENWOOMfILLS* ERIE APRlLlfcJ993

Audience empathizes with the physically challenged

•

By Jule Gardner
Merciad News Editor

Students were introduced to what it

feels like to be physically challenged
during a cultural diversity seminar on
social discrimination held on Thursday,
March 25 at 8 p.m. in Sullivan. An ex-
periment introduced the program by plac-
ing the audience into three groups, each
with a different task.
One group simulated blindness and
hadito place certain foods on a plate tr
while wearing a blindfold. Another group
attempted to put on and take off a T-shirt
and then fold it with the use of only one Chuck Muraw&ld, John Farnum and Mary Jo Palmisano share their experi-
arm. The last group was a team effort. ences and discrimination as physically challenged people.
One person explained a diagram while
another wearing earplugs tried to draw
visual services. Farnum told the audience that "d iscrimi-
it. The point of the experiment was to
In addition to this job, Farnum is a nation exists in all disability groups. It is
help the audience have empathy before
landlord to several apartments and is a shameful statement to those who have
they heard presentations from people Dr. Charles Dufour of the Psychol-
skilled in plumbing. He has also done the education to change that. 11 is up to us
who cannot escape these daily challenges. ogy Department moderated the Cul-
wiring for the a partmcnts, some ofwhich to create our own image of competence
"You might have experienced frustra-
tion but you knew it was going to be
he rents to physically challenged ten- and equality/* Farnum said/ tural Diversity event
ants. Farnum seems to have accomplished The second speaker, Mary Jo
over," said Assistant Professor of Psy- Erie Times. "Can you believe this," she
much in his life when we try to imagine Palmisano, very energetically expressed
chology, Dr. Charles Dufoujr, who mod- asked. "Don't use-tbe term ^mute;' we
doing the same with his handicap, but it the discrimination she has confronted as
erated the event. Before introducing the
is not in his nature to boast. "It is not so a deaf person. She cited three examples: are not mute. When this is used people
speakers, Dufour, whose doctoral spe-
incredible what a blind or deaf person or doctors who refuse to provide an inter- get a stereotype that all of us are dumb.
cialty is in social discrimination, talked
a person in a wheelchair can do. It is the preter, lack of close captioning for the This hurts us."
about the reasons for discrimination. "At
human spirit that is incredible." local news, and use of the phrase "deaf Palmisano has been deaf since birth;
an early age we leant to make fun of When he addressed the seminar topic, and mute" in such publications as the Continued on Page 2
people. When we come across people
who are unfamiliar we tend to be afraid.
We can either jump in and learn more
about it or ignore it"
The first speaker, John Fa mum, has
been blind since the age of four, when a
Sisters plead to remain tax-free
By Mia U-Rycki this new tax bill. In the first option, phase Mercy, they expect it to be a long time
piece of glass flew into his right eye. The I, the organization can pay 50 percent of before their problem is resolved.
Merciad Staff Reporter
infection spread into his left eye which their taxes and then they will be declared They regret the time they have to spend
resulted in: permanent loss sof sight. tax exempt. The Sisters have opted for on this problem when there are so many
The Tax Assessment Board of Erie
Farnum is currently employed as a reha- phase II. They must go before the tax other issues they need to address. "We
County has told 600 tax exempt associa-
bilitation counselor for,blindness and board and state their reasons they should are so busy here and it is unfortunate that
tions that they are subject to taxation.
For many of these organizations, taxes remain tax exempt. The board will then we have to deal with this too," Sister
could bring an end to their services in the decide if the organization should remain Maura Smith said.
w#&
::>::¥: SffSSW:
.:,-.
zm$##& community. tax exempt If they vote in the negative, 1 It is the people who will be hurt how-
The Sisters of Mercy, who have been the group must pay 100 percent of their ever, and the ministries which will suf-
providing services to the Erie area for taxes. fer. "Ultimately, if religious communi-
.'.*.-.-

>:•:•;• nearly 150 years,ijlike Hope House, a Where 38 agencies have banded to- ties were taxed, they would have spent
transitional house for women, Mercy gether to bring suit against the tax board, much of the money used for ministries

Olfl Center on Aging, and the Mercy Terrace

Apartments, have suddenly found them-
the Sisters have begun a public relations
campaign . They have written several
on taxes," said Sister Maura Smith.

Friday, April 21 | |
selves in this situation.
"It's a Catch-22 situation," said Sister
articles in the paper asking for commu-1
nity support In one of these articles they -j mie ne^tMsAe
* pan. to 12 a.m. Student Union. Maura Smith, RSM, Superior of the Sis- printed a coupon asking for the signature 1
Beach Party Dance. ters of Mercy. "If we cut back on our
services, somebody else will have to
of individuals supporting the tax exempt
status of the religious community. Each
qftrheMerciad
Saturday, April 31
$ pan. little Weber Theater
pick up on them. It will cost the taxpay-
ers more money in the long run."
day Sister Maura Smith receives hun-
dreds in the mail. From her desk, they are will b4on April
sent to the state legislature.
Movie: "Outsiders.*

Monday, April 5 J |p|p

Mercy hurst College, which the Sisters
founded and funded, has also enjoyed "People need to look atwhatwe have
done," said Sister Maura Smith. "We
22 due to the
being tax free. Unlike the Sisters of
MSG Executive Board Elections.
g:30 p.m.<Goveminent Chami
Mercy, however, the school does not
need to worry about receiving a tax bill.
have a tradition in our community for
spending our money directly on the
Easteii break.
bers. MSG Meeting. Erie has continuously recognized ccr-
tain services' the College has provided
people."
[. Sister Maura Smith does not believe
religious groups should be taxed but she
The IMerciad
Tuesday, April * | | for the community in exchange for taxes.
MSG Executive Board Elections.
Scavenger Hunt.
The police cars they donated to the city
and the school for exceptional children
docs say that some need to be investi-
gated. "Things change," she said. "Some
would like to
Thursday, April 8
are two such examples of services pro-
vided in lieu of taxes, said Sister Maura
tax exempt organizations need to be
looked at." wish alia happy
This is exactly what the tax board is
Easter Break begins alter classes. Smith. | I
The Tax Assessment Board has given doing. Since there are 600 organizations
in the same situation as the Sisters of
holiday.
the 600 organizations two ways to fight

PAGE 4
By Anne L. McNeils
A&E and Features Editor
On Wednesday, Match 31, the
committee investigating the suc-
cess of the Freedom Zone thus
far held an open meeting in the
Government Cha mbeis at 9 p.m.
Approximately 50 people were
present for the meeting and a num-
ber of concerns about the Free-
dom Zone, both positive and
negative, were aired. As estab-
lished towa id the end of the meet-
ing, one of the main reasons for
the creation ofthe committee was
growing concern over the most
recent issue ofthe Freedom Zone
in which many leaders found of-
fensive and/or libelous material.
The meeting opened with the
handing out of the agendaforthe
meeting and a clarification of its
purpose. SAC Chairperson Mark
Korcinsky said the meeting's fo-
cus was to discuss the Freedom
Zone specifically—both its strong
and weak points, Korcinsky re-
quested that issues concerning the
Merciad be left out ofthe discus-
sion.
The committee, which consisted
of Korcinsky, William Wheeler
(co-chairs), Michele Polon,
Michael Arrigo, Lori Bess and
Annie Altieri set an agenda for
the meeting which contained spe-
discussion and then
allowed for open discussion.
The first issue discussed was
the role of the editor of the Free-
dom Zone. Wheeler said the
editor's chief role should be to
determine the content of each
edition of the Freedom Zone.
The possibility oftwo editors (for
the purpose of one double check-
ing the other) was brought up, as
well as the possibility of having
SAC starts Earth Awareness
By Anne L. McNeils | B
A&E and Features Editor
The month of April has been
slated Earth. Awareness Month
and MSG and SAC plan to make
Mercy hurst a part of it.
Mercyhurst is participating in an
Erie County project to collect used
tires, newspapers, aluminum cans
and magazines. This project con-
stitutes a community service
project for the springs term.
Mercyhurst's, participation has
been organized by SAC Chair-
person Mark Korcinsky.
The project involves dropping
off any of the four designated
items every Saturday during thei
month of April, beginning April
3, in the parking lot behind the
D'Angelo School of Music.
Korcinsky also said there will be
boxes in the Union, Zurn Hall a nd
the .Blue Room so newspapers,
magazines and cans can be
dropped off during the week. {This
site will be staffed by members of
MSG or SAC. The materials wil I
then be taken to the proper recy-
cling centers in Erie. Mercyhurst 2463.
evaluates
an MSG representative proofread
each edition of the Freedom
Zone. Korcinsky also pointed out
the problem of the appointment
of Tate Davidson as editor with-
out consulting MSG. "Initially,
Frank Revy was editor...all of a
sudden we have a new editor
(who) was not voted through,"
said Korcinsky.
The next issue addressed was
advertisements in the Freedom
Zone. Fees for ads were discussed,
and Korcinsky requested a report
from MSG President John Bruno
with the records of all transac-
tions the Freedom Zone have
conducted.
The committee then brought up
a letter President Garvey received
from Kevin Downey, Mercy hurst
alumnus and general manager of
the Cony Journal. In his letter,
Downey called the Freedom
Zone "potentially litigious."
Downey also commented on
Bra no * s piece in the last issue a nd
pointed out the possibility of *
lawsuit being brought against him.
Some concern was expressed over
the fact that these comments came
from someone outside of the im-
mediate Mercy hurst community.
The proofreading of the Free-
dom Zone was addressed next
Many present agreed that the
spelling and grammar errors
which had been found in the Free-
dom Zone are unacceptable.
Korcinsky pointed out, "proof-
reading has been a problem." It
was also noted that the MSG and
SAC computers (which are used
to produce the Freedom Zone)
are equipped with spell-checking
capabilities which could help
solve the problem of spelling er-
rors.
Although the open discussion
will earn a pre-set amount of
money for turning in the materi-
als. Korcinsky said any money
earned will be dona ted to the MSG
general budget or to the Recy-
cling Committee's budget
Other groups in Erie, including
a number of local high schools,
are also participating in the event.
The groups that recycle the great-
est amounts of materials will be
awarded prizes at the Earth Day
Festival, which will take place on
Saturday, May 1 from 10 a.m.
until 6 p.m. at Perry Square/
Gannon University.
Mercyhurst's involvement hi
local Earth Day activities is not
limited to the recycling program.
The celebration began in early
March and continues until June.
Biology Lab Supervisor /Lecturer
Lisa Danko is organizing a nature
pilgrimage to Allegheny State
Park in May. Danko is also in
charge of a children's field trip to
Siegel Marsh hi June.
For more hi formation about
Mercyhurst's participation in
Earth Day, call the SAC office at
f M 11
THE MERCIAD
was not supposed to begin until
each issue on the agenda was ad-
dressed, the discussion strayed
from the specified topic through-
out the meeting. One of the most
frequently stated issues was
Bruno's recent "The Art ofShred-
ding Revisited."
Some people violated ) the
committee's request to disregard
the Merciad and brought up the
comments contained in Editor-
in-Chief Joseph Legler's column
in the March 25 issue of the
Merciad. Many were concerned
about the libelous statements in
Bruno's piece as well as its re-
flection upon the Freedom Zone
as a whole. Some said the Free-
dom Zone has strayed from its
original purpose, which was to
express student opinions in a way
in which they have not previously
been expressed. Many of the ar-
ticles in the Freedom Zone ful-
611 its potential, but some in par-
ticular "are tearing it down," said
David McQuillen.
By Jule Gardner
Merciad News Editor
MSG elections and the Free-
dom Zone were among focus top-
ics at the March 29 MSG meet-
ing. Elections for the executive
board will be held on April 5 and
6. Candidates presented their
speeches in the Union at 8: IS on
Tuesday, March 30 (see related
story on page 6).
Mark Korcinsky, SAC Presi-
dent, expressed his'displeasure
with the last issue of the MSG-
runded Freedom Zone. (related
story above)
A member of the freshman
class confronted MSG jnembers
with his'concerns about the
Mercyhurst NORML (National
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^^8^|<tfJliile record of 1,3401
•ra / f o r d i n g t o | V i » v p o t h ,
lean of enrolt&tentiservicesIfor
theJMBege|not orijjp basfhe | H |
applications ilcreafl
alio the quality of the students
and their geographical distribu-
tion.
"I attribute the changes to three
factors,** Roth said, "The growth
of the archaeology/anthropology
program, which to date has 54
applications, all of whom are ex-
cellent students and who come
from all over the country; the new
Research/Intel!igence AnalysI
Program,fwhich thus farfhas at-
tracted students from 10 states;
and more sophisticated long dis-
tance recruiting for majors such
as dance, art and interior design.
|Our goal this year is to im-
^provejhejjualHy of the freshman
I
APR1L1,|1993
Korcinsky requested sugges- MSG budget, the publication is
I*
tions from those present to help likely to face regulations set by
the committee decide what can be the MSG representatives. $j
The popularity o f the Freedom
done to improve the Freedom
Zone. S o m e o f the suggestions f Z o n e among students and others
included the appointment o f a on campus was also addressed.
copy editor to help prevent some Altieri cited a random survey she
ofthe spelling and gra mma r prob- took of 20 students. Four of them
lems. Kevin Nixon said someone had never read the Freedom
has expressed interest in the posi- Zone. Nine had favorable impres-
tion and will be added to the staff sions of i t while the remaining
of the next issue. Bruno suggested seven had either negative or mixed
the editor of the Freedom Zone emotions about it. Bruno said he
should be responsible for prevent- has received fa vorable comments
ing articles containing libel from from a number of administrators
being printed. He also suggested and trustees, who "love" the pub-
including a section?concerning lication. He also mentioned the
students' satisfaction with the support from former College
Freedom Zone on the ballots for President Sr. Carolyn Herrmann.
the upcoming MSG election. Wheeler, Korcinsky and the rest
It was also suggested that the of the committee took note of all
Freedom Zone decline further the suggestions land comments
funding from MSG and become made at the meeting and plan to
an "underground" newspaper. If include them in their report to the
the Freedom Zone opts to do representatives at the next MSG
this, it will not be subject to re- meeting, on Monday, April S, at
strictions set" by any groups; 8:30 p.m.
whereas ifit remains a part ofthe
Organization for the Reform of Traveler" concert are going fast
Marijuana Laws) chapter. After Close to 200 of the 2000 available
researching the affects of this tickets were sold on die first day
drug, he felt NORML should not and Roberts expects a sell-out
be' a group at Mercyhurst. before the date of the concert,
Korcinsky pointed out that, al- f April 30.
though the group is controversial,
it must be treated with equal op-
portunity. A freshman represen-
From Page 1
tative defended her vote by af-
firming that the group's constitu-
tion promotes educa tion, not use.
Audience
Bruno addressed lack of par-
ticipation from representatives. "It
tends to be the same people vol-
Empathizes
unteering and not everyone is (from page 1) she has never heard
doing their fair share," be said. the human voice and cannot speak.
Stricter requirements were sug- However, all w h o attended the
gested to help the situation. seminar could not mistake her
Vice-President Nick Roberts I expressiveness. Flying hands and
reported that tickets for the "Blues pounding fists replaced an angry
, voice.
Following Palm isano's presen-
tation, Chuck Murawski, who is
confined to a wheelchair, opened
class b y increasing the floor to questions about his
jg&sj
acceptable figh school grade p i U disability. He said that the most
;c to aboff 2§5 J R o t b | | crucial barriers he faces are "ar-
WBeclassof '97at d i t ^ n g e S chitectural," that is, places that
not only numerically superior b # are not wheelchair accessible.
comes from an icademicalJ|| Before, he fell from a ladder and
Stronger|ia|ional pool. | 3£& suffered injury to his spinal cord,
Accofding§|toJ§M|cba|J Murawski was a painter. Although
Fu|rmann,»rdinator|tre;|M this occupation is not a possibil-
ing for Mercyhurst's dance de| ity for him now, he did not aban-
partment, three auditions for ad| don this field. He learned to read
mission to the department have blueprints and now he makes es-
been held to date- one a t the Dav id timates of how much it would
Howard Dance Center in New cost to paint room and homes.
York City and two on .the local Dufour closed the program by
campus. expressing his gratitude for those
f'What's striking about Ibis who came to empathize. "It's the
year's auditions is that many of people that didn't come here that
the students who auditioned tor need to help. You can help by
us are also auditioning for the dealing with the punishment
best dance departments! in the which comes from going against
country fJuiliard, North Carolina the crowd," he said. "Simply get
School of the Arts, Southern to know other people as human
Method istan<tButler,"FuhrmaMi beings, not as a member o fa grou| )
said. that is not yours. Feel what it feels
like, always think that way."
APRIL 1,1993
THE MERCIAD PAGE 5

Merciad vs. Freed om*Zone

t
WJ
* ff ^ Wd
J '
SAC Chairperson wants cease-fire
Dear Editor,
• *_»
V crowded theater; consequently,
*_*"*• •
Shred them both! I'm referring
to the past articles in the Merciad
and the Freedom Zone. If you
were unable to read these so-called
By Joseph Legler NEWS ARTICLES, I advise you
Insecure Whining Boy to read them before you continue
to read this article. If you were as
I can breathe! I can breathe! unfortunate as I was to read them
My eyes are clear and my throa t \ in their entirety, you'll basically
isn't sore — There really is a understand the gist of this article.
God! Miracles will never stop. To save time and paper, I'll
OK, maybe I'm overreacting state it as plainly and simply as I
just a tinge (I do thatfromtime can. I suggest that John Bruno,
to time). Tate Davidson, Joe Legler, Anne
|Last week I felt awful, literally McNclis and the remaining staff
members of the two attempts at
on th e veige of d ea th. However, ]
journalism talk, debate, argue,
on Friday I went to the nurse, she examined me and gave me some
fight or whatever to resolve their
medication. It is now just Monday and I feel incredibly better.
personal vendettas. This will
I would like to extend my deepest gratitude to Jeanne McCall ion,
hopefully allow us, the readers, to
part-time nurse at Health Services, and the entire staff there. They
get some informative news, not
were very considerate, courteous and helpful in my dealings with
the back and forth childish games
them. I've never been one who looked forward to going to see
which are being printed. Since
medical professionals, but now I will approach it with much less
I'll be presenting a similar article
skepticism.
to the Freedom Zone referring to
For those of you who turned to this column to see what response
the Merciad, I'll spend all my
I would have to a recent opinion piece about me in another publica-
time scrutinizing;'the Freedom
tion — sorry, I don't think it is necessary (it said it all).
Zone.
Say I were to wail "FIRE" in a
several people die, become criti-
cally injured, or in any case, ob-
tain any injury at all. In this inci-
dent, I would be tried by the courts
for endangerment, disturbing the
peace and so on. Out of respect
and for the safety of myself and
others, I would not attempt this
stupidity. As for the case of the
Freedom Zone, it certainly has
been lavish in what has been
printed in this attempt at journal-
ism. Several'people were of-
fended, or some would call it,
personally injured, by several ar-
ticles written. There have been
incidents where individuals
abused the privilege to express
themselves candidly. As a result
of this, dissatisfaction and strife
have occurred.
As an Executive Board mem-
ber of MSG, I have/had the co-
responsibility to seethe Freedom
Zone function in a manner which
:
won't step out of certain con
fines. These certain confines may
be described as my right as an
Executive Board member to limit
I don't want those of you out
there who disagreejwith me to
think I'm totally against the Free-
dom Zone. For the record, I'M
NOT! This paper has potential
and some very talented contribu-
tors. What I am against, person-
ally and from other constituents
who voiced their concern, is the
fact the Freedom Zone has the
Mercyhurst name and integrity
on and in it As a current student
and an approaching alumnus, I
would be embarrassed to associ-
ate myself with this work ofjour-
nalism as it stands.
Let it be noted that several things
are being done to unravel this
dilemma. One, a committee to
research this dilemma was formed
and investigations are being car-
ried out as we speak. Secondly,
this article clearly states some of
the dilemmas with the Freedom
Zone for public knowledge, and
thirdly, the Student Government
will greatly appreciate any input
on this issue.
My last paragraph has an abrupt
messageand suggestive tone. It is
my sole opinion that certain indi-

Davidson voices his side

certain actions by effectively vot- viduals need to learn respect, gen-
ing for the ^people. As far as I erate morals or use them if they
know, I've voted on the budget have them, and quit looking at life
for this paper, a previous editor as if every one were out to get you.
Dear Editor, phone when you questioned me their 'Hoys." You expressed this who no longer resides as editor By no means am I an angelic,
about the situation than you were in your article by call ingmc things and certain issues brought up be- impeccable, goodie-two-shoes
The first thing that I care about when you actually wrote the ar- that seemed somewhat inappro- fore about the''language in the who hob-nobs with administra-
is your physical well being; your ] tide (that you hadn't informed priate for the acts that were com- Freedom Zone. These confines tion for brownie points. I'll put up
self-pity in last week's article was me of). When one of "your" edi- mitted. Don't worry, I will not also dea 1 with the respect, respon- a fight when there is a disagree-
an unhealthy use of your journal- tors made me aware that you were call you "disrespectful" and "im- sibility and course of action. Sev- ment in terms and needs for the
istic position. Anyway, I hope writing an angry article involving pulsive" for your literary eral issues, overly concerned with students and myself. I'm just as
you are feeling better. Your lack my entrance into the Merciad, I actions...it shows poor taste and the recent Freedom Zone, were capable of using the same lan-
of interesting subjects to write was so surprised that I called an- an avoidance of the roots of a distasteful to me and many people guage, sexual undertones, and
about, along with some personal other editor and asked all sorts of situation. I now know that letting spoke to me about their concerns. disrespect to whomever I want
problems evidently caused you to questions. Apparently, your re- a fewjstaff members into the The responsibility that I speak of (i.e. roommates, family, neigh-
discretely releaseand ridicule one Merciad was "wrong," but for is the fact the Freedom Zone was bors, teammates, etc.). The fact is
cent sickness and abundant work-
of your staffmembers (me); jump you to rip apart, jeopardize, and to report to the people what is there are limitations and in good
load may have been involved in
to incorrect, unresearched con- make fun of John and I so that we going on tha t the Merciad doesn 't context concerning where these
the wrath and fury that you spilled
clusions about the situation; show look like criminals with lies and cover, as well as parallel some of things should be used and if nec-
onto the Freedom Zone staff. I
accusations is cheap, blind jour- the articles in the Merciad. essary, printed. In this case, those
your frustration toward another hope you don't always exagger-
nalism. '- Putting a spotlight on course of of you who did choose to express
publication for which you have ate when you are sick.
As far as "leaving a mess all action, the Freedom Zone was yourselves openly out of certain
mixed feelings; and write a one- I am sorry that you lost respect
over the place," we left the initially created by several indi- confutes of good context know
sided, accusational article. It is for our sta ffwhen we simply typed
Merciad exactly as it was. I know viduals who wished to express who you are. If you don't, I'll be
appropriate that your column is Gve articles (not the entire paper
which consisted of about thirty) who your "reliable source" was themselves and their opinions. more than happy to let you know
on the "Opinion" page. It is also
on "your" computers to transfer who said we were using "your" They never created a purpose, in a respectful manner that won't
quite convenient that your pieces
onto disk. I am now aware that the computers. She also was process- even if there is one to this paper, offend others around us. Lastly,
are entitled "Yeah...Whatever,"
Merciad staff (which I am no ing non-Merciad material for her concerning what they were going let it be known that many fingers
this basically describes my over-
longer a member of due to this personal use, and she isn't on the to write about. I was under the can be pointed in this allegation.
all opinion of the situation.
situation) is very territorial about staff! Maybe she will reveal how impression there would be articles I'll be the first to point a finger at
You were much nicer on the
gentle and clean we were when of concern in the Freedom Zone, myself for letting unsettled busi-
we raided the office and stole the (i.e. Where does the money-go ness slip through my hands. I hope
The Make Me Mad $5200. There were actually many when you get fined for violations those of you with comparable re-
Mercyhurst College'! First Class newspaper asratedby the Associated people who believed your slan- on campus would be a good start). sponsibility admit to your faults
Vol. 66 No. 18 """"~ March 25,1993 derous accusations of theft in I never got the impression there'd and help correct this dilemma.
Joseph Legler Insecure Whining Boy John Danknlch Little Bo Peep "Yeah...Whatever." I guess be articles of vulgar references,
Jule Gardner Administrative Puppet Michelle Ryan The Sheep
maybe now people will just skim personal vendettas, and pure
Anne McNeils Illiterate Computer User Yvonne Maker Foreign Madia Hog
Craig Ry bczynskl Athletic KisM Ass IT. MoriartyAdvisor to Incompetent Foolsl past your article as they would the ^unprofessionalism not even
"Enquirer" at the grocery check- ^touching the immaturity and lack SAC Chairperson
Make Me Mad Staff out line and say of morals that has existed.! Mark Korcinsky
Dave McQuillen ^yj Mary Medure I Susan Lee Eback Mia U-Rycki
Erin Hauber Monica Sertlk Elizabeth Johnson "Yeah...OK...whatever Joe!"
Megan Glide
Jennifer Trinidad Tonie Bo Ian Nick Kxayger Keith Courson -Your contrived article was a
David Kosobucki Katie Johnson Jay Kennedy good one, for someone who
Leon Mumford
Rich Shel ton
John S nana ha n
Beth Nichols
David Rumsey
Nicole Geraci
John Furlong
Heather Ryan
Suzanne Concglio doesn't care about the facts. There pThe M c ^ a d l ^ c o m e s lit-
Liam Barron Steph Szabo
Stephanie Wainright Karen Tripoli!
Beth Haas
Grace Bruno
Tiffanie Williams
Jay Fitch pa trick
was just a tad too many personal
feelings of frustration, anger, and
ters to the editori
The Make M [e Mad is the student-produced newspaper of Merev
161.501 E. 38th St. Erie, Pa.. 16546. Phone 824-2376
hurst College, Box hostility showing through to make Letters must be signed, but the
it legitimate. I, as editor of the
The Make Me Mad welcomes letters to the editor Freedom Zone, am taking full name can be withheld by re-
responsibility for the situation.
The Make Me Mads editorial opinion is determined by the Editorial Board with
the Editor holding final responsibility. The opinions expressed in The Make Me
Security let me in and I did not quest under certain conditions.
Mad ire not necessarily those of TTie Make Me Mad, its staff or Mercyhurst. Continued on page 8 pjjjjgF
PAGE 6

STUDENT
MSG Presidential Candidates

MICHAEL ARRIGO — As president of M&G, my goals and GEORGE PAYDOCK — I would like to bring student govern-
plans are to run a more efficient and effective governing body. ment together with other organizations on campus and develop a
Along with this idea, I would like to see the Mercy hurst commu-^ *

Mercyhurst College "family. »

nity come together more as a whole,

I would also like to stress that I realize everyone has different
needs. Through my experiences, I feel that I will be able to listen, |
understand, and communicate those needs back to administration
and other significant bodies.
Candidates [present
speeches in open debate
By Nick Krayger
Merciad StaffReporter
On Tuesday, March 30,1993 in the
Student Government Chambers, those
students running for MSG executive
board office gave their election speeches
and then had an open forum debate.
I Run by present MSG Vice President
Nick Roberta, this forum which began at
8:15, opened with the election promises
of Presidential candidates George
Paydock and Michael Arrigo.
Mike Arrigo, Junior Circle K member,
SAC Representative and active partici-
pant in the ambassadors club, urged stu-
dent voters to seize the day. He feels he's
"rea dy to give back some ofwhat he was
given here at Mercy hurst" If elected,
Arrigo hopes to work toward • "more
efficient, more effective student body."
He believes that the students and admin-
istration should "come together and get
Secretary Candidate
i
are what MSG needs* He also thinks that
"Student government needs to get ex-
cited, make things happen and work for
the people." They need to "get down and
dirty, and get the ball in motion." Paydock
contends that "things aren't going to
happen overnight," but ifelected "I'm in
there 100 percent of the time until I'm
gone."
^Following the presidential candidate
speeches, those campaigning for vice
president presented their viewpoints.
Sherlyn Celone, senior marketing club
president, finds that "communication is
the key to success" and that there is a
need to develop a "strong rapport be-
tween faculty and administration.'' Al-
though Celone believes that vocalizing
"definite plans defeats the purpose," she
plans to " find out what you (the students)
want" and intends to "work with you."
Celone promises that "If I need to go JESSICA CUFFIA I feel thai I can be an adequate represen-
Kilt r to door to accomplish this, then I tative of the student i ran ly on executive board along with fulfill-
wilt" I i ing my job as secretary. «•

needs met" He pi a ns to take action when
it comes to recycling on campus, with
the housing department and he intends to
work mote toward unifying the grading
scale. Arrigo believes "it takes someone
to listen and meet everyone's needs" to
be an effective president He claims he
"can promise change, but it's up to you
to make the difference."
George Paydock, sophomore RA and
place kicker for the football team, be-
lieves that since he has had "many
chances to work with different people in
different places in different situations
(which) have given me a chance to meet
people from all over the world" and this
opportunity has made him a great com-
municator. During his speech Paydock
stressed that "organization, communi-
9
cation' and the ability to "follow through"
Kristin Hurd, sophomore MSG mem*
bcr, took a different route in getting her
message across to express her leadership
abilities. Rather than give a winded
speech, Hurd encouraged everyone in
MSG chambers to stand up. She pro-
ceeded to get ua to do a little dance, and
her point was that it "takes leadership to
get a group to perform the simplest of
tasks." Hurd plans not to attack adminis-
tration, but believes if you "show respect
and listen to what they have to say,
change occurs."
Nicole Acqullano, junior dance club
VP and former MSG member, strongly
believes that "variety is the spice oflife."
She promises that, if elected, she will
"represent the entire student y"in
• ; • : •
aiding the president and his duties.
Acqullano thinks it "takes high energy to
unite the Mercyhurst students" and she
claims that "If you* re bored, Til give you
something to do."
Two write-in candidates for VP are
Will Wheeler (who at the meeting had a
pageful of questions to ask his fellow
running mates) and Jim Bean (who was
not present at the meeting).
Those candidates running for the of-
fice of Secretary and Treasurer are run-
ning with no opposition.
Jessica Cuffia, freshman MSO repre-
sentative and organizer of the Spring
formal, believes that "we need more
9
representation of the people ' and thinks
that we should especially have more
involvement with the Northeast campus.
Heather He id, junior and present MSO
treasurer re-elect thinks that since she
"has experience" and knows "the proce-
dure for treasurer that continuity " is the
best policy. Heid agrees with fellow can-
didates that the "executive board needs
to be more tied together."
Throughout all of the candidates
speeches, the issues of housing, recy-
cling, parking and problems with the
phone system on campus all surfaced.
All candidates agreed that the present
officers at MSO were doing a good job,
but things could "run much more
smoothly." Hope fu I ly, whoever is elected
will continue to see the needs of our
student body as clearly as during their
campaign, and it won't be such an issue
as tunning things "more smoothly.
 APRIL1,1993
THE MERCIAD G
~— iinrjirlnTit ; _ , J^ JLl
r
r
0 V E R N M E N T CANDIDA TES
MSG Vice Presidential Candidates <S>

NICOLE ACQUILANO — Being a dance major, I feel that g KRISTEN HURD Mercyworld
artists, athletes, and those of higher academic excellence should will hear the opinions of the extreme liberals as well as the^
all work together to bring quality leadership and organization to opinions of the ultra conservatives. I believe the most important
Mercyhurst thing to do when you decide where you fit in here is to listen to
both sides-—open your mind. * -A j .* -'•

Treasurer Candidate
*V
• •

\ v

SHERLYN CELONE — As vice president, I will be an active

extension of my peers. Mercyhurst is our home, and I feel that
we need a strong person to be a representative of the entire
student body. This someone must have experience and truly
work for the better interests of the students. I have the experience
that is needed and will be the voice of my peers, not only to HEATHER HEED - As a member ofthe executive board this year,
MSG, but to the Mercyhurst administration and faculty. I hive ga ined valuable insight into the organization and operation of
I am a team player and feel that communication is the key to a student government I feel this will not only benefit myself next
successful working relationship. My goals are to unite the student year, but the student body as a whole.
body> generate school spirit, work hard for you, have fun, and
make our years here at Mercyhurst College memorable.
MERCYHURST
All Mercyhurst
Student Govern-
ment^ candidate
photos taken by
Beth' Haas.
PAGE 8 THE MERC1AD APRIL1,1993

SmitWalleges gender dysphasia

etable Dear Editor, that a fellow student publication we going tofindyou out marking

By Jay Kennedy
dom First let me say that you really
should look at the staff box of the
Freedom Zone. I think you might
would be sympathetic to our
plight. Apparently we greatly
over-estimated your levels of
compassion and understanding.
Personally, I think you're mak-
your territory around the Merciad
office while changing the locks?

Sharon Smith
Merciad Staff Columnist be surprised to learn that we are
not all males! Admittedly, Mia, ing a big deal out of nothing. So a
Once upon a time, in the year 2839, theit was a guy named Bob Angela, and Tonya were not in- member of your staff, accompa- Davidson
who lived in a small city called Not- Ve ry -B ig- Vi 11c. He wa s married volved in "the incident and I
99
nied by a few others, used your Continuedfrom page 5
to a beautiful woman named Barb. His marriage with her was a hardly classify as a shining ex- computers to save some articles
happy one. He was also happy with his job as a business executive ample of femininity. However, on a disk and left We didn't de-
within one of Not-Very-Big- Ville's banks called The-Bank, which this does notmean that I am either stroy anything. We didn't erase once think that my actions were
was always in heavy competition with the city's other bank, The- a "boy" or a gentleman or even anything. We didn't scribble ob- illegal or wrong, now I know.
Otber-Ba nk. In fact, he was so happy with his job that he would go of the masculine gender. Do the scenities on the walls. We didn't Maybe your next "Campus Ques-
99
as far as being very upset if employees from The-Other-Bank ever words "gender dysphasia mean 99 even print out the articles we typed tion should ask people what they
had sex with his wife. In case such an annoyance should ever occur, anything to you? The moral of up. We also didn't leave "a big think. But,'! in reality, it is not
mess", as your article!claimed. worth pursuing any further. Those
he posted a sign on Us front door which read, "If you're from The- this little tirade is that maybe you
should make sure you have your We left the office as we found it. new locks better not raise my tu-
Other-Bank, please refrainfrombreeding with my wife!"
facts straight before you run an So what's the problem? And why ition because security is still go-
He liked his job especially for the fact that, once a year, his
article. If you don't, it tends to is it you neglected to mention that ing to h ave a key or two to the new
employerwould send himon a business trip to the most fabulous city
shoot your credibility as an effec- your "reliable source" is not on doors and that's how we "boys"
in the world, Pretty-Damn-Neat-Ville. There he would stay for three
tive reporter. (And why did you the staff of the Merciad and was got in.
full days, consisting of drinking heavily, visiting oldfriends,and
never, ever, ever doing anything that had to do with his job. assume we're all guys?) using the Mercind computers for I believe that the Freedom Zone
However, he would still come home with his business work com- Second, I found your bit about purposes not at all related to the and Merciad can sha re some sort
9 of camaraderie in the near future.
pleted (this is because he knew of the magic toilet bowl of Pretty- the "missing money ' to be mis- Merciad, same as we did, only
informative. That's hardly what I with much less claim to do so? Maybe, we could even SHARE
Damn-Neat-Ville, located in the men's room of Taco Bell, that
would term appropriate behavior Why was this handled publicly some things! This is, of course,
always shape-changes itself into the men who sit on it and fulfill any
form what claims to be the instead of privately? Could it be only if you are not too strongly
of their job-related tasks so they can have more fun with pretty d amn
school's "professional" student that you just couldn't find any- sanctioned by the elitist adminis-
neat things.)
publication. Admittedly, weat the thing else to write about and you tration that tends to have the first
After returning homefromhis business trip that year, however,
'Zone don't always act in the were attempting to stir up some and last word. If we work to-
he found a situation that most business men in the year 2839 would gether we can help unite the stu-
most)professional manner but controversy?
find quite disappointing. His wife told him that she had sex with five dent body and assure ourselves
we've never claimed too. We've However, should you still feel a
men from The-Other-Bank. He was quite disturbed by this. He that we will be able to make the
\f>
also never found it necessary to need to retaliate, I would love to
inquired, "Didn't they see the sign?' invent an allegation against a decisions. The more students ar-
see you fit your entire staff (which
"Yes dear," she replied, "but one of them said "that 'he was group of people, either. gue, and the less we communi-
is about four timessthe size of
technically a member of your bank as well as The-Other-Bank cate rationally, the more power-
By the way, since when do five ours) inside the MSG office and
because he once ordered a pizza for your boss." ful the administrators become
people constitute a large number set up4be nextj issue of the
"Oh, that was Some Guy. What he said was true," he replied, because they have to make the
anyway? Merciad on the computer (singu-
"however, that was over two months ago. Darling, everybody final decision between opposing
As for "the incident," there were lar, not plural-there's only one)
knows our policy: To technically consider yourself an employee of forces. We are complimentary
several reasons why events tran- that we were allotted for use by
The-Bank, you must order a pizza for the boss at least once every publications, not contradictory
spired in the manner in which the Freedom Zone while work-
month!" | i and competitive. I tried not to
n they did. I, personally, was under ing around the MSG officers who
"I know that honey-bunny, bat it was the police who let him in, • •

n the impression that we weren't also need to use the same com- participate in an angry response
she explained, "and besides, you weren't here to check with)
supposed to be in the Union build- puter. If you're lucky, someone to your article because, like a
This peaked his curiosity, "Well, they could have checked with
ing because the sprinkler system might be in the SAC office so you treadmill, that would get us no-
my boss," be said.
99 had gone offrather unexpectedly. can use that computer (again, sin- where. Remember what Arrested
"Yeah, really, she replied, "I mean they could have at least left
We would have asked for your gular, not plural). Of course, you'd Development says, "All shouting
you a message on your answering machine. It could have been permission to use the\facilities
have to work around all the SAC does is make you lose your voice."
something simple like, 'Hey Bob, remember me, Some Guy? Well, had you been around to ask. Also,
officers, too. P.S. I, for one, haven't had any
I heard you were outta town so I couldn't ask you this personally, but Tate was under the impression
This whole situation is remark- money stolen from my desk. Ac-
I thought I'd at least show a sign of responsibility in letting you that he at least was allowed to use
ably akin to when your little sister tually, I don' t even have a desk, or
lilt.jwthat my friends and I are going to have an orgy with your wife.
9 them because he' s on sta ff, which or brother borrows your favorite money for that matter...So, as an
Hope you don't mind, Bob. Cheers! That would have at least to me would seem to be a fairly sweater without asking. You yell honest person, I will avoid this
showed courtesy in their vile act." logical assumption. As it stood, dishonest situation thatyou fabri-
99 and scream until your mother
"Yes, be answered, "I wouldn't be upset at all if he had done that. we werefightingto meet a dead- ca ted.
points out that since neither you
I should probably write an article in my company newsletter about line with our printer (something nor the sweater was hurt, wha t' s
99
their discourteous and impolite behavior. I'm sure you can relate to) and we the problem? I think you need to With hopes for peace,
He did write the article in his company newsletter, The-Bank's- made the mistake of assuming learn from that example. Or are Tate Davidson
Informative-Stuff. But, unfortunately for Bob, Some Guy was the
chief editor of a secret underground company newsletterforThe-
Other-Bank, called The-Sexually-Repressed-Executive, which
earned the readership of only five executives other than The-
Scxually-Repressed-Executive staff. (Basically, its only reader Amnesty International answers U-Rycki
worth mentioning is God, who hated itfromthe start, but because
of His omniscience, he unfortunately had to read it.) Despite
popularity, however, in dislike of Bob's article, Some Guy wrote an Dear Editor, man rights agencies that study the permitted legal counsel and saved
article which insulted Bob relentlessly. It claimed that Bob hated his abuses, pay for lawyers and doc- from execution because letters
business wardrobe, and would rather dress up like a long-haired I am responding to Mia's letter tors for the victims of abuses and from all over the world have
hippie with jeans and a heavy metal T-shirt which would read, in the March 25 Merciad. When pressure govenunen ts to ha It ille- poured into government offices,
"Metallica may have been dead for 830 years, however, they still we read about these atrocious gal detentions, torture and execu- letting officials know they can no
M
rule...dude! It also claimed that Bob had a tattoo on his arm that things happening in the world, we tions. The Amnesty International longer torture and kill in secrecy
99 feel powerless and outraged. I group on campus raises money to and silence.
read, "(Forget Mother) Electronic Breeder.
believe the response we ta ke needs support the national Please feel free to join us at our
Ironically, this insulting description of Bob was perfectly fitting
to be two-fold. organization's efforts and spends next meeting Tuesday, April 13
of Some Guy. No otherbu siness executive was aware ofthis, except
First, we need to examine our time each month writing letters to at 4 p.nu in the Laker bin.
for Bob. Hefiguredthat Some Guy felt insecure of his own stupid
own complicity. How do we, as foreign governments asking them
looks and needed to boost his ego to his whole five readers by
putting down his majorcompetitorwith pointless insults. Some Guy individuals and as citizens, con- to cease abuses. The letter-writ- Alice Edwards
tribute to the violence? How does ing works. Thousands of people Faculty Advisor
was taken to the Supreme Court a week later for libel, and was found
our country work to oppress oth- ea ch yea r a re released from prison, Amnesty International
guilty, not for libel, but for looking so stupid. ers? As taxpayers and voters we
God, knowing all of this because of His omniscience, was very have powerful tools to change
disappointed in the behavior of Some Guy, and turned him into a our nation's policies.
periwinkle colored goat. Then, God snickered, for He knew that no Second, we can call on govern-
one would notice the difference.
April Fools! (No offense to anyone, especially to God!)
ments around the world to protect Krayger.
human rights by supporting hu-
[
See page 10 for additional opinion
{
letter by
j f fj
Nick
APRIL 1,1993
* *
THE MERC IAD PAGE 9
M a J

• * •

"T* * • >
V *
* * « * a •%

•X-MU5W
i* r*

•v.
4 * t** i **•* i• •*11
•

• *•>

ttwtiitiwnt III!!!

Tennessee comes to Erie

Shoe Gazin The RoadhouseTheatre is proud "my best work of the '60s.
to present two one-act tragicomic Slapstick Tragedy opens at the
playsfromthe greatest Am erican Roadhouse Theatre on Thursday,
Saturday at8 p.m. until Saturday,
April 24.. The Roadhouse is lo-
cated at 1505 State St. Tickets are
playwright of all time, Tennessee April 1 at 8 p.m. Performances $7, $5 for students and seniors on
By David McQuillen Williams, best known as the au- are every Thursday, Friday and Thursdays. Call 459-8215 for res-
Antagonistic Staff Columnist* thor of such classics as The Glass ervations and information.
Menagerie, Cat on a Hot Tin
What a tragic, sad and totally Roof and A Streetcar Named
unfufilling life I've led. I'm Desire.
doing it air-wrong. I thought I Williams actually penned over
was happy. I really did. But I 100 plays. Two of the finest and
wasn't.:,I mean, I was but I most critically accla imed a re 'The
shouldn't have been and I think Mutilated" and "The Gnadiges
I realize that: now. But don't Fraulein" (translated: "The Gra-
worry about me, I've seen the cious Lady"). These two plays
light and I know what I have to I were traditionally produced on a
do to be cool. I know what life should have been like and what it's double bill under the* omnibus
gotta be now. I watch 90210.1 watch Class of '96. title of Slapstick Tragedy. Simi-
lar in style, and often quite funny,
I see now that high school was not all it could have been for me. each play explores the world of
I know from watching 90210 that high school students should look the lonely and maimed, and the
like they're between the ages of 20 and 25. The way I figure it, as$ painful adjustments thcygmust
soon as I graduatefromhere, I should be able to hit high school again make in reconciling themselves
and do it right. Yeah. > to what life offers them.
The plays are filled with rich
Pm going to have a lot of money. No more borrowing off mom a nd ** dialogue and the haunted poetry
dad. I'm also going to have a car and never wear the same clothes of past-due pride for which Will-
twice. Pm going to be beautiful. I'm going to have beautiful friends iams is so renowned. Here's a
who all worry about their hair, becoming rap stars, and whether chance to see two unique works
dad's yacht will be ready for a romantic weekend. Pm not going to from our most prol ifiepla ywright
have zits. I'm going to be wise and say things like "Gosh Brandon, and indeed what he himself called,
you don't need to drink to have a good time and although it seems
like the end ofthe world since you' re a zillion dollars in debt because
of you're gambling problem, we all love you and there's always
tomorrow and I think it was Descartes who once said...." / .

a&&! S
m m

:•?>>: '•Vy.oit HEMS

iSfflsfes -;*;• s» CS«i

Pm not going to do homework either. They never do in Beverly

mm
;•.*«••: K£%8R
MtflWK >y/$& rae
fc;
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if 1 ' RJ rll mm? m
Hills so I should be ok. I'm not going to go through that awkward, ^p^^l^p^glpp mm
?:•:•

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drool on myself, insecure, wear bad clothes phase either. Instant liiiiliim "^ FAMILY TANNlllG OENTClS
coolness is whatl'mlooking for. I won't be nervous around girls and &S m^
.v.'
&*:

hot babes will be mine. Four years of 90210 coaching and I'll be w&m
aza
4 V

1 TiaM:ii§iitl|3
ready for college again and that's where Pm really going to do well. oiiR p y « ; :^#^W§§

Pm going to go to a school called Haven hurst where the sun >:•.-•:•

7418
always shines and the dorm rooms are oak trimmed and as big as •»:

;
^ f | ^ $ f | P 3£ £|p& :ij££l$: ^ ^ ^
gymnasiums. Where I can always be philosophical and discuss it
with myfriends.Where it's not a cafeteria, it's a dining hall. Where | Taint tig Sato|, fteS|in $$.
-!• ,VK

&§3&£8l3 & 8 8 S ^

students reflectively lounge on the campus lawn and no one looks „_ Capstil#feillli^n^ll SKff &333s®?£
SAWofi

like they got up five minutes before class and staggered all the way ®m& indooisuntarming m

there and I always see the same people every day and something new msssm^WfStBm of fhe 90*s. Wi|i|rour *U

is always happening and any problems will be taken care of before idiidu^l tanniri
the episode is over. Where everyone has all of these really mature, t&fk
cc|nplet^wi|i|pfivdte c n
t
deep and interesting things to say. Where I gather with my friends sss ru
in a cozy little lounge and drink coffee late at night and laugh and alea andlsteredtnftisic. •

m&
cangej^he
kV

be entertaining, talking pol itics and sex. "524

3
al|oyer^| with our 48 larrjp w

At Havenhurst, I definitely won't do geeky frcshm air things, oh m system |20||28 lamps in a
no. I'll sit at bars, but never get sloshed and if I do I '11 make a moral
commitment to never drink again. I'm going to have a conscience tanni|g bed) with noriskof
about everything and be a real activist type and wonder whether I burning, drying or peeling|
should live life passively and let it happen or whether I should have S | | Jc^$ule|gives i < ^ p :
fun and make things happen. t f t f b€||||if ultan |hat gets
After 1 graduate, in '96, It seems like IwUl be without guidance
noticed, t5 minutes in fp - • • • • * » V . * V J

for a few years; I'll have to enter the world and get a job and start Cap$i|e'« 30 minutes in|a * & • •*""-"rr^--'
8*Ss

a family with nothing but my own wits to get me by. Then it's on to bed|lt's a cleaner and safer]
reruns of thirtysomething and after that, PUshow my kids videos of environmenti|swea^ree tarfning (Noflying down on hotf
90210 and Class of *96. Showlhem how life really was back when |acrylic)| Our trained technicians are ready to answer
I was a student jfc • all your tanning questions and help you withfour|complete|
line of lotions and eye contact! So if you'rellookingtfor ...
t the Ultimate Iran, letfSun Capsule add a little Sunshijne
•Attention juniors and seniors to your Life, because some peopfe are fust too whitef

whoexpec
L a junior who is planning to graduate in 1994 or if you are a senior
If you arc
U , 0 graduate in May and who has not yet successfully completed
the writing proGdencyrequirementfor graduation, you must make arrange-
** Spring JBreakf Special **
ments to do so as soon as |x*sible. Test dates: 14// students receive a lp9?|dis(|ount
Thursday, April ISfrom3to6 pJii.
Saturday, April 17from9 am.to12 p m Coming Soon --
v
tl
Ocean Pacific!Swimwe^t ft

V
 r*-.

PAGE 10 THE MERCIAD APRIL1,1993

K u h a r sails a w a y f o r as e m e s t e r at s e a
Mercyburst College student
Tricia Kuhar, a junior Elemen-
tary Education major, will be
spending her spring semester at
sea aboard the S.S. Universe.
On January 29,1993, Semester.
at Sea's S.S. Universe departed
Nassau, Bahamas, as it began the
Spring 1993 voyage. The Uni-
verse has called on La Guaira,
Venezuela; Salvador, Brazil;
Cape Town, /South Africa;
Mombosa, Kenya and is presently
en route to Madras, India. The
voyage will continue to Penang,
Malaysia; Hong Kong; Keelung,
Taiwan; and Kobe, Japan, return-
ing to Seattle on May 10. 404
students, representing 140 col-
leges and universities across the
US., together with 38 senior adult
participants and 68 faculty and
staff are aboard for the voyage.
Semester At Sea, administered
by the Institute for Shipboard*
Education a nd academical ly spon-
sored by the University of Pitts-
burgh, is 3 a program that takes
students, from colleges and uni-
versities across the United States
and abroad, around the world each
fall and spring semester. Students
choose from fifty lower and up-
per division courses in a variety
of disciplines.
Courses offered a re accredited
by the University of Pittsburgh
and are fully transferable to the
student's home institution.
Gasses meet daily while the ship
is at sea. The faculty are visiting
professors, also from institutions
across the US. and abroad. All of
the faculty jhave had extensive
resident international experience
which serves to integrate course
content with countries on the itin-
erary. *
While in port students can choose
from a wide range of structured
travel opportunities that are de- of historic, cultural and religious dent union and cafeteria. It also
veloped by the institute and the significance, or simplyfreetravel in eludes a swimming pool, bas-
faculty. to experience life in the cities and ketball and volleyball court and a
Students may also choose to rural areas. Stays in port range weight room, providing a campus
travel independently. Each class from three to seven days. atmosphere for participating stu-
has a field component require- Semester At Sea uses the S.S. dents. A student life staff pro-
ment that the student must com- Universe, an 18,000 ton ship that vides activities programming for
*plete during the voyage. Activi- has been equipped as a floating the periods of time at sea.
ties in port can includehome stays university. It includes classrooms Additional information may be
with families in the countries, vis- with closed circuit television ca- obtained by calling 1-800-854-
its to universities, travel to places pabilities, a library, theater, stu- 0195 or 412-648-7490.

Beginning on Friday, March 19, seven members of Circle K repre-

sented Mercyburst College at a convention in Altoona, PA. The
weekend-long convention, sponsored by the Pennsylvania District WMm ****** a community, ^%by|Mr| Leglef audicotll:i
^K^^^^^^p: Wrnn$i»i§ f i ^ ^ n f ^ n i ^ ^ ^ ^ " ^^
Circle K, represents an historic momentforCircle K and Mercy h
It was the first convention attended by the club's me ^ ^
I I I
I p ^ in m||i: proicheitoli|niigsucl&waftx::p»us^,|vou chose not toilo l b !
• • f c f d o

was chartered about 11 yean ago. ^SH&S&K

Front Row, left to right: Wt m m*** services, nmmmm in* i g m i o.

mm
:
mm
I•+ . . a *v . l • • - • m . • . •

Theresa Schioeck, Michael Arrigo, Erie Lt. Governor Tricia ^m&m^ dancing fflffiy beat™
m&&3g^£&&&i&>£9& ivw;;::?::: :^»:<S£ ; x*: x : ; : :i
m : : : : ::::
m<i
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hope p t p u K L M J C O V

Fleisher, Grace Bruno. ^.'.•-V.V.'.V-• M i

essssy
_ter^tcs®»i^es3.
Back Row, left to right: -•*_* • J-'JT* ^s
t_» .. t _•!*_•.
tidfi io tbe incideiu in^pusc your posjlpia p w ^ d o m
Jamie Williams, Laurie Pezich, Mary Medure, Alyssa Griffin :*XrKS8
_. ._»_..»_.

iilci^hpublication addres$edM|g Merciad coniputirs, lliifiil liotiusltogetafew la«|

e 13
JOIN ^W^tfm*l!^^^»a#«^ l rf^^* ^ Kot»ABi
the last
I P i p i f e poes^ i f l p l p l |aw|«ifesson:ih is campus atfijJ n « issue was addressed^
t t f O A ' *_*

THE THIRD ANNUAL UNITED COLLEGIATE When lib «>«? • ftv*_*Z*v*C*Z* » »

LIVING ORGAN DONOR CAMPAIGN KMpbe Nuns Wf i f l p l ^ : M l : , , M i ^ B M W ^ ticleiii;the Freedom ZoiWIil

^^ich,P " I w ^ M i i . ^ w i i P |o«lhff^ pcralbyMa
^ f e c U Mghc d l f f e r e a c c s . ^ e v ^ l l l l M M H t t ^ g i o a s Korcins mere
APRIL 19 TO APRIL 23 I'.V

M S^ss*^
of the Ifreedom Zonef&taff as
twetfi the two:both addressed the nfws, you d|g^||ely <fif Hid
YOU CAN GIVE THE GIFT OF LIFE & SIGHT on campus and done it a iitti|:more tactfully. response as topvhat the p u r ^ e
'—
both seem (surprisingly) to have And now that we|re|pn the sub- of the i e really wasjgwai
SIGN A DONOR CARD TODAY ^ l i i p e t e n t editors and people ]act (or tactlessness, 1 i x-SW:

V-VA' 1 '' article like that|whic)|makeflf

in Charge. Another s im ilarity,and say), Vd like to comment on John obvious why die F ^ e d ^ ^ M
Sponsored by Alpha Phi Omega at Edinboro Iwhlch I chose to pinpoint Bruno's reaction lit the Freedom j$ under investigation, t mean, |
here (and one which I believe to Zo«4 ^TbelArt offShredding like reading it as much as the next
tobotb)istbesla|i- Revisited." First off, Mr.fBruno, guy, but show sblti structure and
Beta Beta Beta at Gannon and de if that the publications use you are guilty of committing the organize yo
against each other. same crime as Mr, Lcgler—a bus* The| Freedom Zone and the
Nowfwe all know what hot is- ing your position as Freedom Merciad s ho nidiwork together
Tau Kappa Epsilon atj?enn State-Behrend sue Vm going to bring up here, so Zone assistant editor to basically on this campus. So gentlemen,
either buckle your seat belts or tear Joe Legler (and the entire use your positions wiscly|and ef-
turn the page. Merciad staff! for that matter) fectively to|benefit the student
Student Government Association at apart. body—not to get a rise out of and
First of all, I believe (and think
Mercyhurst College many would agree with me) that 1 think I am speaking for many divide it
both the Merclad and the Free* when I say that your recent article
doro Zone serve their individual is utterf complete trash. Granted,
(In conjunction with the Greater Erie Eye & and unique purposes in bringing you had the right to defend your- Nick Krayger
.r- Organ Bank) about varied points of awareness self, but you could have risen Freshman, human
to the Mercyhurst community* I, above the Islander tactics em- Ecology major

I
.. • •.
APRIL 1,1993
THE MERCIAD PAGE 11

Sports
The Cheap eats
By John Danknich
Sports Hall of Shame by Nash &,Zullo

m
Merciad Asst. Sports Editor K^^2.^>$fflh m,*m>, GENERAL
MANA&EK OF TttE NBA'* ORLANDO MA&lt, AK-
For the second time in two years, the sports editors of the Merciad 7 A P R
(Craig and myself) will be presenting our Major League baseball
v S S ? ? ^ : ^ " ^ ^ ^ NAM
W 6* 100R1RPA. irv^ALLAJOKE TUPED
preview. This week, I will be previewing the American League. PROSPECTS NAVE SPEUJEPI3&S> ft -Start talking out problems-
The class of the AL East are the defending World Series champi- CONFTOENTIAL PROFESSIONAL
ons, the Toronto Blue Jays. The signing of future Hall of FamerPaul APRIL F o o L l PAY/ 209 MAIN I
Molitor and former Oakland pitcher Dave Stewart should fill the COUNSELING SERVICES
holes leftby the departed Dave Winfield and David Cone. However,
the Jays don't have a left-handed starter, which could hurt them A PERSONAL TOUCH
down the stretch. Still, I think the Jays will win the extremely weak WmREALLIFECONCERN
AL East 'y VJ
The Baltimore Orioles should push both the Jays for the top spot RELATIONSHIP ISSUES
in the division. The O's added Harold Baines to their already potent • } SUICIDE
line-up which features the dynamic duo of Brady Anderson and SEXUALPHYSKAL ABUSE
Mike Devereaux. Cal Ripken Jr. should rebound from a subpar I DEPRESSION
season. The Orioles young pitching staff must be consistent if they SELFESTEEM
want to keep pace with the Jays. $ pATERAPE
My pick for third place are last year's big surprise, the Milwaukee SUBSTANCE ABUSE
Brewers. No one thought the Brew Crew would do anything last £ PREGNANCY
year, but they proved that youth and team speed can take you a long EATING DISORDERS
way. However, with the loss of 16-game winner Chris Bosio, the
Brewers will need former 20-game winner Teddy Higucra to have C1993 Tribune Media Services. Inc. TO ARRANGE FDR AN APPOINT-
AH Rights Reserved

a strong season after two injury-plagued years. ? MENT CALL EXT 2555 OR STOP
The New York Yankees took a big step on the road to respectabil- BY 209 MAIN
ity by acquiring left-handed slugger Paul O'Neill from the Cincin-
nati Reds and signing free agents Jim Abbott, Wade Boggs and
Jimmy Key. Key and Abbott will take some of the pressure off ace BE SMART! EARN
Melido Perez. Despite a 2.87 ERA, Perez only finished with a 13- EXTRA CASH WHILE %s

16 record because of no run support, which was the same thing that
plagued Abbott in California. If the Yanks score some runs, they
HELPING OTHERS.
BECOME A \ i
12376 lor ^ "j* «_

could make a run at the top. PLASMA DONOR. 1H-

I was planning on picking the Cleveland Indians higher, but with
the unfortunate deaths of Steve Ol in and Tim Crews, the Tribe loses
New Donors Receive $15.00 formation. C las-
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its closer and a veteran set-up man. Look for the Indians to contend this ad. Physical required — Call for physician's hours
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Bringing up the rear in the AL East are the Detroit Tigers and CALL FOR DETAILS 453-3339
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Boston Red Sox. The Tigers did take steps to improve their pitiful SERA-TEC BIOLOGICALS 4 111 West 9th St &&$ximim
pitching staff, but I would still expect a lot of high scoring games. V —
jpfph' a f ajrge
The Red Sox have no power and no quality pitchers beyond Roger
Clemens and Frank Viola. It's going to be a long summer in
Beantown.
This year, the Chicago White Sox will finally make it over that
last hump and win the AL West. The Palehoes feature one of
baseball's best line-ups from top to bottom and improving pitching
*Sport$cards
staff that features Cy Young candidate Jack McDowell. The amaz- 3706 Pine Ave. 452-4686
ing Bo Jackson and his bionic hip should act as an inspiration in the Sportscards — old and new selectio CRUISE JOBS
clubhouse. Frank "The Big Hurt" Thomas may Gnally^win his k of nop-sports c a r d s in E r i e i
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much-deserved MVP.
Closely behind the White Sox are the Minnesotai'Twins. The •New comic books every week!* Earn $2,0004- per month + world
travel (Hawaii, Mexico, the
Twins must find a way to replace the departed John Smiley in the
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innings to keep the bullpen from being overworked. The signing of
Dave Winfield just adds another bat to an extremely potent line-up.
Kirby Puckett should once again make a run at MVP.
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Despite the loss of pitchers Mike Moore and Dave Stewart to free SAT 11 a.m. - 4 p.m. TV Cruise Employment Services
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Mark McGwire might have hit 50 home runs if he hadn't missed 20
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Big things seem to be expected of the Texas Rangers every OF PENNSYLVANIA
season. However, the Rangers never seem to be able to put every-
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offers
Jose Canseco and home run champ Juan Gonzalez could hit 80 1993 SUMMER STUDY ABROAD
dingers between them. While Tom Henke's addition does improve
W8$ ^^£^£S^!^S^2SZ^&^^s
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The Kansas City Royals decided that defense would the key to Cost: $1,800 ^M Contemporary International Issues
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^•s.« • I i
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seriously lack any offensive power which is very necessary in this Courses: Geography of Africa
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The hiring of Lou Pinella as manager was a good move for the Aesthetics Art Study: Painting and Drawing
Cost: $1,750 Storytelling and Literature
disappointing Seattle Mariners. The M's are still hoping that >$&«$ S^ISSe Literature of Mystery & Detection
strikeout king Randy Johnson will develop into a 20-game winner. fivX^Vi"rt"«VVrrrtiN»^¥*^^"«*" •"»'WVvpi\»\T»*"*"X V«"»"•*•*•'
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They also only have two serious offensive threats (Ken Griffey Jr. Courses: Ancient History/Roman Empire Music of England
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In dead last are the California Angels. The Halos have no offense Cost: $1,80Q , if
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1 Finley and Mark Langston to win more than 10 games. International Studies, Programs and Services
The Blue Jays will head to their second straight World Series Courses: Chinese Literary Fiction and Fact
World Music ; Hamilton Hall 120 £
taking on. . I well, you'll have to read Craig's National League or call 814-732-2771
Cost: TBA T -*A'
preview next week to find out their opponent
 rf*.

I I 19PAGET12 THE MERCIAD i m

APRIL1,I1993.«M»SJ a

Sports
Dave nillen places sixth in " ti
race
Cyclists face rough riding at SHppeiy Rock
'Tain is not pain once it has of the race. Team member Cliff and was unable to return to the
past" Whoever wrote this famous Clark came out with a seventh front of the race. Sean Wall met
quote in a fit of hyper-intelligent place finish in the "B" race, while -
tough luck as well with a spec-
,—

chatter never had the chance to Tate Davidson and Lou Viselli tacular crash over a fallen rider
watch the members of the finished with 10th and 23rd place named Fred, a hardv
*
chase and
Mercy hurst cycling tea m atruggl e showings in*the "Cs." Marcie ultimately a flat tire. Team mem-
around campus after a weekend Dzienkonski was the sole female bers Viselli and Matt Minnick
of hard racing. People who have | memberand had the highest plac- managed 20th and 22nd in the
forgotten the team's pain don't ing with a strong third in the "C" race, finishing out a';tough
walk like that Most humans don't women's race. initiation into collegiate racing.
walk & like that. I learned about Later that day, the riders had Davidson, after a strong showing
funny cavemen in archaeology their chance to race against the in thefirstrace, was Mercyhurst's
class who walk like that, but they clock, completing a six mile loop third flat and ended up with a
didn't have bikes. Conclusion: the in the least amount of time as DFL. Dzienkonski, surprising
cycling team has just completed possible. Only Dzienkonski everyone, finished third.
their first stage race of the year, would come out with ego and It was a tough weekend, with all
and far from forgetting it, they lungs in tact, again finishing a teams present racing at a^much
remember all three races really strong third.
flpiisf Saturday, ] well.. The final race took place on
higher level than last year.
McQuillen figures that their run
the Bu ffalo Bills vs. fMercyhursjj rwxS
Early Saturday morning, the Sunday, and consisted of a six
team rose * to make the jaunt mile circuit which the "As" circled
of bad luck is over and that they
"should manage some very good
faculty. to Slippery Rock for the first of four times, the "Bs" three times
three races. The top racers went and the "Cs" twice. McQuillen
placings, especially with the up-
and-coming novices." *
On the hardwood of the MAC. first in the "A" category race, was instrumental in the formation p?I managed some insight into the
circling thirty times around a of a seven man break, with all the actual racing when Leon "Chunk"
Tickets available at football office :•>:•: -••aa
treacherous half-mile loop. Pave major teams present. Riding hard Mumford managed to gather
McQuillen managed a sixth place enough tojust hang on, McQuillen
Phone 824-^150
;SS;S
mm enough energy to assemble some
S5;ss& in the face of heavy competition managed to stay with the break words into a quote. "It was easy,"
from schools likeTufts, Peiui State and finish seventh. Leon he said. Leon had glazed eyes
and Bucknell. On less than one Mum ford, hoping for a chance to and he couldn' t stand because his
Men's W i l l S S O l d nde around the park, the "As" show his early season form, flat-
averaged 28 mph over the course tened a tire with two miles to go
legs were sore. I suppose it's bet-
ter to lie than to remember. / .

By Liam Barron * * and the coxswain was Heather

Merciad Sports Writer Drake. The men's heavyweight
squad Was Jakub Svoboda, Will
The Laker erew teams were in- Sauve, Mike Bank and Eric
Tennis team crushes Gannon 9
team's performance and glad we
volved in a prestigious regatta in Anibaldi, and the coxswain was By Chris Kullman
Merciad Sports Writer 9 came away with a pair of wins
Augusta, Georgia, this past week- Joe Basco.
under our belts this weekend,"
end and came home with an as- Assistant Coach Adrian
The Mercy hurst Laker tennis said Team Captain O'Keefe.
sortment of hardware. Three Spracklen was very pleased with
Sophomore MarkusjMuenck
teams made the return journey to the results, "Considering that we team soundly thrashed Gannon 9-
added, "I thought I played well
the scene of Spring Break '93 and have been unable to get out on the 0 in its latest encounter Sunday this weekend, and the key to win-
squared up against the cream of water up here, we definitely per- afternoon on its way to establish- ning both matches was good serv-
the nation's talent on the Savan- formed above expectations in ing a 4-3 record at this point in the ing and good returning. As a team,
nah River. The weather was a Georgia," he said. "The trip to season. everybody played solid tennis and
little kinder on this occasion than Augusta was the coach's way of "I am really happy with the team
this season, and I think everyone conducted themselves in a ^pro-
it had been a few wee rewarding the people who have fessional manner."
the teams responded trained the hardest over the past is working well together," said The team hosted Slippery Rock
performances. few weeks, and they gave a glitis
< Gordon Quinton, men's tennis
a University Wednesday morning
Fl The men's lightweight four account of themselves against coach. One example of the versa- and will travel to Youngstown
came home with the gold, the some tough Ivy League opposi- tility of the team is its ability to State to face the Penguins on
women's varsity four won the sil- tion," he added. have new combinations, such as
the Andy Davidson/Pat OTCeefe Wednesday, April 8, in a dual
ver and the men's heavyweight Spracklen went on to ta Ik about , match with the women's team.
four took the bronze. The men's the rest of the season. He said, partnership, gel quickly. Theduo On Friday, April 16, the team
lightweight four?were: Doug "We're building toward Dad picked up their first win together
will travel to Bloonisburg Uni-
Reynolds, BJ Fox, Chris Moigis Vails, and all our upcoming re- this weekend. •
Mercyhurst relied heavily on versity. The matches in the next
and CJ Warner and the winning gattas should give us a j dindi- • : • : •
few weeks will help the team gear
coxswain was Nikki Drake. The cation of what well be up against . its doubles pa rtnerships to achieve up for th is m ajor tourna ment. Four
women's varsity team included: there, and how we measure up a 6-3 victory against the Univer- wins at the tourney will guarantee
Andrea Peterson. Erin Wade, a gainst the best squads in the coun- sity of Buffalo on Saturday after-
noon.'"! am pleased with the the team a spot in the nationals.
Nikki Geraci and Leanne Peters, try.

Lady Lakers capture California tournament 1993 SPRING SPORTS CALENDER

April3 1p.m. Softball at Clarion University (DH)

The Lady Laker Volleyball team
traveled to California University
ofPennsylvania for a Spring Tour- •
nament on Saturday, March 27.
Playing for thefirsttime in a
Laker uniform was University of
Pittsburgh transfer Tracy Komar
who provided the Lakers with an
• explosive outside, attack. How-
ever, all nine members of the team
provided solid performances to
lead the Lady Lakers to a tourna-
ment victory.
In the preliminary round, the
LadyXakers easily handled a
USVBA team by scores of 15-4
and 15-4 and then face the num-
ber two team in the Atlantic re-
gion, host California.
The Lady Lakers let the first
game slip, losing 14-16, but re-
bounded to defeat California 15-
9 thereby winning the bracket and
advancing to the championship
bra cket
In thefirstmatch in the champi-
onship bracket, the Lady Lakers
faced nationally-ranked Juniata
College and again let the first
game slip by them by losing 13- April 4 1 p.m. Softball at Indiana of PA (DH)
15, but again rebounding to crush Aprils 10 a.m. iGolfat Malone College
Juniata 15-6 in the second game. 3 p.m. Softball at Theil College (DH)
The Lakers needed to win the April 6 10 a.m. Golf at Malone College
last two games against
Millersville University to win the
1 p.m. Baseball hosts Ashland University
tournament The Laker volley- (DH)
ball team rose to the challenge 3 p.m. Softball at Hilbert College (DH)
and easily .defeated Millersville April 8 3 p.m. Men's Tennis at Youngstown State
15-8 and 15-8.
P The tea m looks next to Wednes-
Women's Tennis at Youngstown State
day, March 31oWhen it faces
cross-town rival Gannon* ,