VOL 60 NO.

17 MERCYHURST COLLEGE, GLENWOOD HILLS, ERIE, PA 16546 THURSDAY, APRIL 2, 1987

Palmer To Step Down At End Of 1988

By Brian Sheridan
The White House will not be the only place
having new leaders in office in 1988. Academic
Dean Dr. David Palmer has tendered his letter
of resignation to College President Dr. William
P. Garvey, buf will remain as acting dean until
s
the end of next year. \.. • / "/. i
"By the time next year comes I will have been
in this job longer than any other dean, and it's
a very busy job," gives Palmer as his reason for
resigning. "T asked Dr. Garvey if I could just
switch to another job in this school. He asked
me to stay on in this position at least another
year because there is so much going on next
year, and putting in a new dean would take too
much of his time." Garvey understands his col-
league's decision "It's a tough job to keep for
long. You're on the firing line for 12 months a
year. Dean Palmer has been generous with his
time and commitment. He, right now, is
finishing his 7th year and that is longer than any
dean we have had in the last 20 years." "He has
made many positive contributions to Mer-
cyhurst and we are disappointed, but unders-
tand, his choice?' , • •"'••••
f Palmer wants to take on "a new challenge"
which could possible include taking on other
administrative and teaching responsibilities.
Garvey hopes that he will chose to stay on here
at Mercyhurst in some other capacity. "I hope
he stays here. He is being considered for the
position of dean of the graduate program. It's
a small program but it is still very important,"
Garvey said. ^ V-^g|j&KjSS jB ? p £
^'Though he will be "a lame duck" dean for
next year, Palmer will be staying on to assist in
implementing the new curriculum and calen-
dar. He will also be on hand to aid his replace-
ment in getting used to the demanding job.
j? The long search for Palmer's replacement has
already begun. During this Spring term, a
Committee will be formed to look for can-
didates. Then, after the number of candidates
are narrowed down, each candidate will be in-
terviewed forme position in the Fall. Appoint-
ment of a new dean will take place the first of
next year. "The job*probably needs a new
perspective and I need a change," says Palmer.
Garvey, who has been president as long as
Palmer has been dean, thinks Palmer has been
an asset to the growth of this school. "He has
been a fine dean and has helped see the school
Dean Dr. David Palmer, who willremain as Academic Dean until the endof1988. Photo:
File ^WttMsEm : :w-^%3S^Sal^Sl@EsSt.^ through a period of great expansion," he said.

a
Scoff-laws Get The I Boot 95

By Matthew J. Clark dent with a limited income."

^^r^But, according to Security Director, Merrill
The next time a member of the Mercy hurst Dever, faculty and staff members could also
community who's illegally parked on campus have their cars "booted" |
tries to move their car, they may be going "We have ten people on this campus right
nowhere fast. \ f>- &"' .jg now who appear to be in serious trouble con-
Instead, they could be "booted" right to the cerning traffic violations, and that includes
Security Department. That's because the faculty and staff," he said.
"Denver Boot", a wheel restraining device y "I have orders to take action against those
which renders vehicles immobile, has arrived. (staff and faculty) violators too," Dever added.
The arrival of the "boot" should not cause Citations will be issued as afirststep in deal- 9*fe
a campus-wide panic, however, due to the ing with scoff-laws, wheel cuffs will be the sec-
regulations regarding the use of the device. In ond step, and towing will be the last resort. The "boot" has arrived at Mercyhurst Here, the device is placed on a Mercyhurst van
order for the boot to be used as a punitive j Towing will cost the driver $50, which is for demonstration* Photo: L Hafenmaier
measure, a driver/owner must be cited three 3 much more than the average fine, and we feel handicapped nor visiting; If a driver parks
times for traffic violations and has to have fail- that by using the 'boot', we're giving these regularly in resident area's or reserved zones,
ed to take corrective action and continues to drivers a fair chance at avoiding that expense," and after being warned or cited, continues to
park in violation. The wheel restraint cannot Dever emphasized. park in violation of the assigned lots; If a driv-
be used unless a driver has accumulated the re- The Erie Police Dept. has also used the er parks in any tow away zone, on the grass, in
quired three violations. "Denver Boot" for collecting delinquent traf- a roadway or driveway where the vehicle
Once the restraint is in place, the driver must fic fines. * hinders the entry offireequipment or obstructs
pay graduating fines to get it removed. In the The security office assured that, in all cases, normal traffic flow. >
case of "scoff-laws" who have large fine bills, officers will use good judgment and violators The Security Dept.[feels that their policy
which they fail to pay, they will have to show will be given the benefit of the doubt. regarding use ofthe "boot" is "certainly not un-
proof that they have made arrangements with Vehicles most likely to be "booted" will be fair" and maintains that the enforcement of that
the business office to pay the fines before securi- those parked in the visitors or handicapped policy will be "fair but firm".
ty will remove the boot, at a cost offivedollars. parking areas, or in McAuley where Security HDever does expect that a few minor ad-
In the past, security has had to have scoff-law says there is still a parking problem. justments will probably have to be made to the
vehicles towed away. The security office views Other reasons a car will be "booted" are as "Denver Boot" policy as the device begins to
towing as "very expensive and perhaps an in- follows: If a driver continues to park jn handi- make an impact on the campus community.
appropriate action to take against a college stu- capped zones or visitors' areas and is neither "We'll have to adapt as we go," he said. • *
PAGE 2 Qttu HHerctaft THURSDAY, APRIL 2,1987

Sister Maura Smith Elected

Superior of Sisters of j Mercy
Sister Maura Smith, RSM, prin- was expanded to include a strong years during which time she held the
cipal for the past ten years of Mer- emphasis on the creative arts. In the positions of director of secondary
cy hurst Prep School, was elected the past year, the school strengthened its education andfoundingdirector and
37th superior of the Sisters of Mer- academic offerings by becoming on- professor of environmental studies.
cy Community recently (Saturday* ly the second Catholic high school In addition, Sister chaired two task
3-21-87) at election rites presided in the United States to be accepted forces that introduced new curricula
over by Bishop Michael J. Murphy. into the International Baccalaureate at the college.
Sister Maura will resign as chief Program. In addition, Smith spearheaded
academic officer of the Prep School Smith implemented a secondary the development of the 75-acre tract
in June to begin her new communi- school advancement program to from East 38th Street to East Grand-
ty leadership role. She will succeed strengthen the financial posture of view Boulevard into an educational
Sister Carolyn Herrmann who has the Prep School. In addition, she is resource for lifelong learning.J Call-
been the superior of the order the ' credited with giving the once all- ed the Mercy Continuum, Smith
past four years. girls' preparatory school a co- umbrellaed the seven educational
Also elected was Sister Patricia educational image in the Erie com- components on the Mercy land into
Whalen as the assistant superior. munity, i a network of learning and living ex-
Sister Patricia is an associate pro- A search committee will be form- periences for Erie citizens both
fessor of education at Mercy hurst ed to recommend a new principal young and old.
Sr. Maura Smith, Mercyhurst graduate, trustee and former teacher has been
College. Three other Sisters of Mer- for the Prep School. Smith is a member of the board
A native of East Aurora, N.Y., of corporators of St. Vincent Health the principal of Mercyhurst Prep since 1977. Now she has been elected
cy were chosen as councilors on the
community's religious leadership Sister Maura holds a doctorate in Center, a trustee of Mercyhurst Col- superior of Sisters of Mercy. Photo: File
team for the next four years. They curriculum and instruction from the lege, a member of the board of
are as follows: Sister Jo Anne University of Florida, a master's de- directors at Stairways, Inc., and a
Coureen, Sister Mary Charles gree in biology from the Catholic member of the planning and alloca-
Weschler, and Sister Mary Felice University of America, and her tion committee of the United Way of
Duska. 3 bachelor of arts from Mercyhurst Erie County.
Currently, the Sisters of Mercy of College. She is affiliated nationally as a
Erie are working in educational, Beforejoining the faculty at Mer- member of the board of directors of
health care, and social service pro- cyhurst College in 1970, Sister the Mercy Secondary Education 0*4*
fessions locally and in other parts of Maura taught in Erie Diocesan Association; as a regional associate
::
the country. . schools. She was on the faculty at of the National Catholic Educa- SM

A professor of environmental St. Michael's in Greenville, St. tional Association; and as a member 1^44
&

studies at Mercy hurst College when Catherine's and Central Christian of the Association for Supervision
named principal of Mercy hurst Prep high school in DuBois, and at SS of Curriculum Development.
School in 1977,. Sister Maura has Cosmus and Damien's in Punx-
*

Installation ceremonies for the ^

doubled the size of enrollment at the sutawney. She also taught at St. new religious team will be held at
coed high school since taking office. Justin's in Pittsburgh. ^ the Sisters of Mercy Motherhouse
Under her academic leadership, She'was a mefnberof the Mer- in Erie on June 6. 1 ' '
the curriculum at the Prep SchooF cyhurst College faculty for seven
-T •*

fill' I £.
A >

I
* • * >
l «
« *"
* 5* - /

MSG's Meeting Yields Info About AND ALL THE QUALITY IN

Resume Service, Dinner and Debate AVOID THE NOID"!
Domino's Pizza Delivers®
j
»W
hot to you. You get made- * \\

By Maragret Coffey
ThefirstMSQ meeting of Spring
Tferm was opened by President Mike'
Kelly. He announced that voting for
MSG officers will take place on
April .1st and 2nd* The 4-2-4 calen-
dar proposal |was accepted by the
Senate and Mercyhurst College
President Dr. William P. Garvey. It
will be in affectfcfor the next five
years. However there were a few
modifications made. Winter Term
will be eight weeks long and will ex-
tend from December 1 to February
9. There will be a two week break
for Christmas. Classes will meet for
75 minutes on Monday, Tuesday,
Thursday, and Friday. Wednesday
will be afreeday. Spring Break will
be March 25 to April 4 and the last
day of finals will be May\ 13.
Kelly also announced the
Recognition Dinner for MSG of-
ficers and representatives in good
standing will be held on April 24.
He announced there will be no open
bar as there was last year. This point
faced opposition. Treasurer Barb
Sayers defended her position by
stating that the sixty dollar student
governmentfeeshould not be spent
on open bar, and 75% of the
representatives are underage
anyway. Last year $500 was spent
on drinks while only $300 was spent
on food. One representative sug-
gested having a Happy Hour to cut
the costs. to-order, top-quality pizza, ii.^f
In other news, a resume service piping-hot and delicious,
will be offered to students next year. just the way you like it.
Career Services will print the We're quick in the store
resumes on computer. Any full-time so we can safely deliver
your hot pizza in less [
student can take advantage of the than 30 minutes. No
service at any timefora fee of three M
NOID is good news, so
dollars. Career services will hire an call Domino's Pizza® today.
assistant to do the job. This Open for lunch
assistantship will be worth $1200
with $600 coming from the ad-
Call us! 11 am-1am Sua-Thurs.
11 am - 2am Fit & Sat.
ministration and $600 coming from
MSG. ; j v
I
453-6938 ii« RHINO'S
PIZZA
A debate on U.S. policy in Nica- 442 WA 18th St. DELIVERS
ragua will be held on April 9 at 8 Downtown Erie
p.m. in the Zurn Recital Hall. Also, Our drivers carry less than $20.00. Limited delivery area. ©1986 Domino's Pizza, Inc.
the mascot project will be taken over
by the athletic department. Dinner Party
for two for four Pack

Graduation Plans Being Made Get a 12" cheese

pizza with 1 Item and
2 bottles of "Coke, for
only '5.00
Get a 18" cheese
pizza with 2 Items and
4 bottles of Coke, for
only •8.99. I
Get 2 large 16" cheese
pizzas with one-Hem
each and one 8 pack
of Coke, for only * 13.60.
fee. Cap and gowns will be available bookstore. There will be, approx- A saving a of '5.001 *
By Julie Cherlco
Tax and bottle deposit not lax and bottle deposit not lax and bottle deposit not
for pick up on Fri., May 22. Also, imately, a $4 chargeforeach ticket, Included. - Included. * Included. "gfe* -
Attention: Mercyhurst Seniors. seniors should begin placing an- but they can be purchased in an One coupon or offer per
pizza, v
One coupon or offer per One coupon or offer per
pizza.. -"-
Graduation is approaching and in nouncement orders in the unlimited amount. Explrea:4/19787 Explres:4/19/87
pizza. ',
Explros:4/19/87
order to be prepared for the big day, bookstore; a fee will be charged. Letters were to be sent out this Fast, Free Deliver} Fast, Free Delivery Fast, Free Delivery1
there are afewthings that should be Graduation tickets can be picked week to the home addresses of all 1442 W. 18 th St. •442 W. 18th St. 442 W. 18 th St. *
made note of. $• up in advance at the bookstore. The graduating seniors. These letters Phone: 453-6938 Phone: 453-6938 Phone: 453-69381
»Any senior who hasn't done so price has been; included in the contain more detailed information
already should see Ruth Truitt in the graduation fee; however, each sen- regarding the commencement on
bookstoreforplacing cap and gown ior can only receive a limited Sun., May 24,^987. i IN
orders; the charge has already been amount. Beginning May 4, brunch oa MM8 aa MM9 oa MM10
included in the prepaid graduation tickets can also be picked up in the
THURSDAY, APRIL 2, 1987 She JMerciod PAGE 3

Personal EnlightmentJ Is Reward For

Students' Religious Trip to Toronto
By Jeff Ressner
Before Mercy hurst wend on
Spring {Break, Dr. Master
(Enl ightened One) George Garrelts
took several students from his East-
ern Religions class to Toronto to vis-
it the place of worship of several of
those religions. The students were
and are: Jules Giering, Allan
Carpenter, Jason McChesney, Kate
McGrath, Tony MaYino, Gena Kost,
Erin Parker, Cindy Carlson and
myself. We, meaning us, visited
seven places of worship: five were
Buddhist, one was Hindu, and one
was Taoist.
At a temple In Toronto, Sunim (right), a Korean Buddist nun and her
student (left) meditate. Photo courtesy of the author. Several of us were almost con-
verted by the Sokka Gakkai
people— they surrounded us and
showed us each how to chant their
three-word mantra that would lead
us to world peace and enlighten-
ment. Luckily we had had enough
sense to leave Al in the van, which
was left running. The other Bud-
dhists were more sincere and didn't
give us nearly as many pamphlets.
The Japanese Buddhists were
very Western—complete with pews
and prayer books—which shows
how spreading religions adopt in-
digenous cultural traits to broaden
their appeal. However, their temple
was not nearly as decorous as the
Cham San Temple we visited,
which had many Buddha and Bod-
dhisattva statues trimmed in gold.
The odd thing about the Cham San
Temple was in actually watching
people practice divination with the
help of their favorite Boddhisattva.
Another interesting experience
we had was in mediating with a Ko-
rean Zen Buddhist nun. Enlighten-
ment in Zen comes through
meditation oh nothingness and in
the destruction of the ego, which
sound like pretty good ideas to me.
At the Taoist Center, an odd mix-
ture of religion and athletics was
practiced. Enlightenment in Taoism
comes through getting into harmony
with nature/the universe and, in so
doing, finding "the way" of non-
interference. Movements were prac-
ticed by these people to get them in
touch with "the way". Some did
these movements for exercise,
others for more spiritual reasons.
The Hindu service we attended
was my favorite. We sang, worship-
ped, meditated and ate with these
people. It was nice to see so many
people involved actively with their
worship.
There is a moral to befoundhere.
Let me rephrase it: we should be
open toward other religious beliefs,
for we can learn from them. I often
remember the stark contrast I felt
between the ascetic Buddhist nun
and the acquisitive, success-
oriented, throwaway culture we live
in (and some of us propagate). It
makes you wonder. I am grateful for
having had a chance to live this ex-
perience; I only hope I haven't been
misunderstood. '*-

Bond Issue!Preparations Continue

The Erie Higher Education
Building Authority held a public
hearing on Wed., Mar. 25, at Mer-
cyhurst College on the college's re-
questfor$6.5 million in bonds, the
bulk of which will be usedfora ma-
jor renovation and expansion pro-
ject, during which approval was
granted, reported the Erie Daily
Times last week.
Mercy hurst is seeking.'$5.2
million for the renovation and ex-
pansion project and the othet $1.3
Members of The Royal Hawaiians teach some reluctant volunteersmillion to refinance existing bonds.
how to hula. The Luau was Its usual success. Photo: Matt J. Clark The expansion and renovation
project is being undertaken, in part,
because of increasing enrollment
and also because the college must
leave St. Mark's Center, which is
currently used for the Hotel Restau-
rant Management Program and for
the D'Angelo School of Music.
To create room for the HRM Pro-
gram, the college plans this spring
to expand the Egan Hall cafeteria on
the first floor and add a second
floor. The D'Angelo School of Mu-
sic will be located in a new wing of
Zurn Hall. That project may not
begin until the spring of 1988.
The Zurn Recital Hall will also be
expanded from its current 250 seat
capacity to 750 seats.
Also included in the project is ad-
ding a third story to Preston Hall for
classrooms and possibly offices.
New apartments and a bookstore are
also planned. Money for thexnew
bookstore depends on funds remain-
ing after locker room renovations.
Mercyhurst isjeaving St. Mark's
Center, owned by the Erie Catholic
Diocese, because the diocese was
not interested in selling the building
to the college or signing a long-term
lease, according to Mercyhurst
President Dr. William P. Garvey.
The currentfive-yearlease expires
in June, 1988. |

The Merciad Asks: Has The PTL Scandal

Damaged The {Credibility Of Televangelists?

Annette Padaci, Sophomore,
Nursing student:
"I think it has because the people
that.watched and really believed
what these (evagelists) had to say
about things that are wrong, now
find that this person was doing these
"wrong things." But, then again,
these people are human, and people
make mistakes. I think it's up to
those who watch (TV evagelism)
whether they want Uj ^lleve it o$
not"
Margaret Plunkett, Freshman,
Undecided: I
"I dorft think TV evangelists are
credible because they seem far-
fetched"
I Bill Nesdore, Senior, Accoun- Tim M us bach, Sophomore,
Business Major: I
ting Major:
"I think the whole deal is ridicu- "Yes I do. If you believe what
they're saying, and it's doing your
lous! What's worse, though, are the
life good, it doesn't matter what they
people whofollow(TV evangelists)
and give them the millions of do outside of their ministry." >
dollars. I don't know if they're us-
ing any kind of critical thinking at
all."
PAGE 4 ®be flicrciati THURSDAY, APRIL 2,1987

April Fool's Issues I

Are No Laughing Matter
By Brian Sheridan As many people have noticed, by
what we choose to write about in
To joke or not to joke, that is the The Merciad, that we don't par-
question. Is it better to suffer the ticularly mind ruffling a few
slings and arrows of outrageous feathers and getting people emo-
stories or to print the truth and raise tional. But those incidents are
hell? This is, though it is April 2, over—we hope—things of impor-
the "Aprilfools"issue of The Mer- tance that deserve to be addressed.
ciad. In past years, the issue was We are trying to get people to think
filled from the front page to the and make choices, even if the choice
sports section with comic stories is to not agree with our position.
made up by the staff. This year we Those stories are what we don't
decided not tofollowthat tradition. mind getting "in trouble" over and
will fight for our right to print what
Yes, it is true that Dean Palmer is
resigning his post. No one will say we feel are important commentaries
and issues. I don't want to fight for
'April Fool" in next week's issue.
Not goingforan all joke issue was "the freedom of the press" for an ar-
ticle like "Professor X Caught in a
not an easy decision to make
because myself and my staff seem- Dress" which is usually the sort that
appear in April Fools Day issues.
ed to have gained the reputation as You wouldn't go to a Mercy hurst
a bunch of funsters. Gee, I don't
know why. Could it be that we like basketball game and see the team
writing headlines like 'At MSG come out and play * with their
Meeting: Toaster Issue Pops Up" or shoestrings or clown around just
kept an "Oral Roberts Deathwatch because it's April Fools Day, would
Countdown Calendar" on our office you? Their reputation, like ours, is
wall? This time, however, we opted based on their last performance. So
for just another issue of The Mer- they would not try to play at being
ciad because of important stories their best. We are not going to try
like Dean Palmer's resignation that either, ^nother^problem of April
need to be told, not kept until it was Fools issues Ms that much of the
convenient for us to print them. humor is based on inside jokes and
Former faculty adviser Dennis about people you have to know well
McCarthy and I sat down over the to see the articles' humor. I have
summer to discuss this matter. It maintained that I want The Merciad
seems that afewpeople were a bit to be enjoyed by everyone from the
miffed at last year's jesting issue. It lowliest, unpopular,*non party-
was all meant in good fun but you going freshman to Dr. William P.
cannot tell how people are going to Garvey. So inside jokes and subtle
react to something that was meant references would only negate that
9
"in good fun. ' Up until now, we philosophy. •$
have been lucky with the 'April But, alas, don't despair. We could
Propagates Polemics
By Mike Kelly, MSG President the Zurn Recital at 8:00 p.m. Both dollars are being spent in a very
As the Congress and House of gentlemen will have an opprotuni- violate area of the world. Are the
Representatives debate the ethics ty to present their case and then Contras freedom fighters or ter-
and foreign policy implications of questions and answers will be field- rorists and should the U.S. be sup-
voting aid the the Contra's fighting ed from the audience.? porting them? This is a chance to
the Sandinista's in Nicaragua, Mer- Walker is an academic and author. form an opinion if you have none or
cyhurst students and members of the He has written many books and ar- a chance to reinforce or change your
community at 1 arge will have the op- ticles on Nicagragua and has visited present opinion. In an unrelated
protunity to hear both sides of the the area on numerous occasions. matter, letters of intent are due on
issues. Next Thursday—April
p Peters is a member of the staff of
9—the Mercy hurst Student Govern- the Office of Policy Planning and a
Friday, April 10,forthe position of
MSG Representative. The new
ment brings together two con- co-ordinator for the Bureau of Lat- Mercy hurst Student Government
trasting opinions in the form of a
in American Affairs. He has much will need good people to help it in
debate. Our debate "The U.S. and experience on Capitol Hill in the its new tasks. Letters are due into die
Nicaragua: Two Contrasting Views"
fields of foreign policy, defense and MSG office by 3:00 p.m. %
will feature Dr. Thomas Walker arms control. "Off the Record" is solely the
from Ohio University and Philip
This promises to be a very in- opinion of its writer, and does not
Peters, a state* department teresting and exciting event which reflect the view of this publica-
spokesperson. It will take place in
should be of interest to all. Your tax tion, its staff or its advertisers.
By Chris Kovski tion." Okay, now for the;Bak- sin, she must demand $115,000 from
ker/Swaggart tete-a-tete. I will give Bakker. Since Hahn was a church
^Evangelism is in. In the news, that the story as I see it, so throw in a secretary, she trusts this Swaggart
is. During the past two weeks we couple dozen "allegedlys"Jand guy, even though hjs hajr looks
have seen Oral Roberts get a check "allegeds" and you've got the na- plastic and he wears a suit and talks
for $1.3 million, Jim Bakker give up tional media version, j . like he's from the hills of Tennessee.
his PTL ministry and Jimmy Swag- According to Bakker, Swaggart Well, maybe that's why^she does
gart step in to take the helm of the was cm is in' the streets of Babylon, trust him. W h o knows?
$172 million PTL television empire. N.Y., one day and happened on a t T h e Shadow knows! Bakker re-
A Florida millionaire presented lady named Jessica Hahn. Now, signed, giving the reason that he
Roberts with the check during Jessica is like all other people of was being blackmailed and wanted
Roberts' son's TV show. Unfor- Babylon, except she had sex with to prevent a "diabolical" takeover of
tunately, the nation didn't get to see some guy named Jim Bakker in a FIT.. Here's how I see it, in the form
the presentation— Clearwater Beach,;F1a.,*motel of a one minute play, done in the
there was a failure in transmission.
" M
room. tradition of The Bard of Avon.
•

Fool" issues.*Other newspapers not have passed on one of our favor- The failure was only during the pur- Swaggart, being a man of God, SWAGGART: Hark, good sir! What
have not been sofortunate.There ite holiday's without some lunacy. ported presentation. 1 say "pur- could see this sin on this woman, be thy name?
have been lawsuits and libel charges We, first off, have run a bunch of ported"forone reason. No one saw and told her that to be healed of this .*(See " K O V S K I " page 7)
placed against papers that have done "Far Sides" for your enjoyment. the presentation. Maybe that's God's
"April Poof" issues. (Continued from page 4) plan: "I didn't see a check for $1.3
million. You're still a million short. THE FAR SIDE By GARY LARSON
Oral, you're archives, history,
YOU'RE OUT OF THERE!" Oral
Roberts buys the farm. Details at
11:(XX ^
®ht Mtttxab I think the best wayforhim to go
would be to have his radio fall into
his bathtub while it is playing some
Brian Sheridan, Big Kahuna heavy metal. His pallbearers could
Chris Kovskl, Computer Whiz Kid be a half dozen punk rockers with
Jennifer Conmy, Sports EditoHEmeritus spiked mohawks . Poetic j u s t i ce
| Matthew J. Clark, Demi-god ; | strikes again.
Leslie Hafenmaler, Pix Editor ' The one point people neglect is
Frank Pawlowski, Carrier of the Week .^ that Roberts never said he would die
on March 31st or April 1st. He just
VOL. 60 NO. 17 THURSDAY, APRIL 2,1987 said that if he didn't get the money,
he would die. Here it is ladies and
Reporters g e n t l e m e n : " T h e nightly news,
Mary aret Coffey Julie Cherlco August 23,1992. Oral Roberts died
today from complications resulting
Jeff R from massive failure in fundraising.
Typists According to the coroner's report,
Bridget Presuttl, Karen Casclo Roberts died.from 'vaccuous
deitosa—in layman's terms, God
F. William Kennedy. Faculty Adviser sucked out his soul. This condition
had its roots in 1987, when Roberts
The Me rclad is the student-edited newspaper of Mercy hurst College, 501 East
failed to raise his $8 million that
38th Street, Erie, PA 1654a The Merciad office Is located, in the basement God ordered. A check that Roberts
of Baldwin Hall, phone 825-0376. said he received was missing, and "Whoa! Smells like a French
no one else witnessed the presenta- primate house In here."
PAGE 5
5
Hurst P r o f s Research O n t i f e In O u r Galaxy Pays Off
By; Dr. Mickey Adleweiss
Dear Forum,
I used to think that these things
were written by your staff, but since
you printed this, I know they're not.
You won't believe this, but it ac-
tually happened to me. From the
time I was in high school, I had an
ever-increasing interest in space. I
read every science fiction book
written, consuming with equal
ebullience the work of Edgar Rice
Burroughs and Arthur C. Clarke. I
was enraptured by the planet Bar-
soom, with Captain John Carter and
Dejah Thoris. I reveled in the
Overlords from Clarke's
Childhood's End—their attempt at
world peace was inspiring.
Consequently, it was no surprise
to my family and friends when I
decided to attend Cornell University
and study astronomy and physics
under the tutelage of Professor
Jonathan C. Beauxyeux, PhD.
While an undergraduate, I took an
interest in the theory of life on oth-
er planets. Statistically, there is a
higher probability of intelligent life
on another planet somewhere than
of us being the only intelligent life
in the universe.
Beauxyeau directed my unre-
strained passion, feeding me the
countless books and articles he
possessed on the subject. My love
of the sidereal sciences grew ex-
ponentially, i-
I continued my studies at the
Massachusetts Institute of
Technology, going for my Ph.D. in
astronomy. I started out to do my
doctoral thesis on "The Applicabili-
ty of The Doppler Shift to Possible
Particle Wave Contact With Other
Sentient Life." * during my eight hours or so IJwas
For those of you who have never
taken a course in astronomy, a Dop-
pler shift is an effect noticed when
two bodies are moving, one at a
greater rate than the other, causing
the frequency of particle waves sent
between the bodies to change accor-
ding to the speed of separation of the
two bodies. * Mercedes-Benz or a hotel, but a
I realize that I*have probably
bored you stiff by*this time, but I
wanted you to understand how I
came upon some of the more star-
tling conclusions ever readied in the
realm of astrophysics. I discovered
that I could be the Einstein of the
21st century.
My discovery was that there is life
on other planets. While working on
r\
my thesis, which involved copious
laboratory work, I found that, if I
varied the frequency of the particle
waves to correspond with the Dop-
pler effect, I could send a steady, un-
varying signal to another planet. In
exchange for this stronger signal, I
had to sacrifice universality—I
could only signal one planet with
each signal, rather than being able
to send one" signal to the entire
universe.
By using an IBM mainframe, I
directed each signal in a burst
transmission (compressed wave for
fester transmission) to various likely
areas for life. I chose three planets
in the Alpha Centuri area and six
slightly further out. I used a laser
carrier for the signal, sending out a
message in binary code that would
approximate the Earth's relative
position, and the position of the lab
I was working in, to 100 significant
figures.
Since I sent the message using la-
ser light, which is monochrome, I
was fairly confident Ah at my
message would remain intact. I
knew for certain that the message
would be received in 4.2 years, the
amount of time necessary for light
to reach Alpha Centuri from Earth.
It would take another 4.2 years for
me to see the light signal reach the
planets, since the reflected light
takes that long to reach back to the
Earth. \ \ Jjj
*A11 of this technicality aside, 8.4
years later I was sitting in the obser-
vatory with my coude (koo-d^y)
telescope, Watching the nearest
planet. A coude telescope focuses
the light down the^'tube" so that it
cant be concentrated' onto a
photographic plate. I wanted a rec-
ord of the arrival of my carrier wave.
I, in my youthful naivete,figuredit
would make an interesting graphic
for my thesis paper. & your bed. And... Oh, I seem to be
i|After many fruitless days of sit-
ting in the laboratory, often as much
as sixteen hours a day, with a com-
puter rigged up to alert-me if
anything unusual (i.e.,!• change in
light on the planet surface) appeared
away each day, my diligence was
rewarded. On the planet I later
designated Hajooby I saw a brilliant
flash of light, which overwhelmed
me with its magnitude and color. I
recorded the flash, then fed it into
my computer. By translating the
pulsing of theflare-up,the computer
had decoded * a message:
"HELLOPLANETEAFTH WEA
REHAJOOBYlWEWOULDLIKE
TOHOLDCOMMlJNICATIONS
WITHYOU" and it continued
"CANWECOM &
EVISH IFWEGETNORESPQNS
EWEWILLSTOPBYLATER."
It was a full week before I realiz-
ed that this said "Hello planet
Earth. We are Hajooby. We would
like to hold communications with
you. Can we come visit? If we get
no response we will stop by later."
I returned to my telescope to view
the planet, but realized I was too
late. I received another message mat
stated, "TOOLATE HBREWEC
OME," which was, obviously, "Too
late. Here we come!" i ugly stick, U-G-L-Y!
Someone must have given these
®he fHcrctab THURSDAY, APRIL 2,1987
alien lessons in acting like my in- What could I do? Out in the mid- offourdimensions, three as legs of
laws. They are always asking if they dle of nowhere and trapped by nas- a tripod, thefourthsticking straight
can come visit, and before you can
ty looking creatures from another up, he then told me to picture it ex-
answer, they say "Okay. See you at galaxy. Momma didn't raise no fool. panded with two more dimensions
six." Then you're expected to take I reached in the truck behind the sticking out. That I could unders-
them out to dinner and feed them, front seat and cracked the tab on a tand. So then he asks me if I want
even though they bring that little cold one. "Wanna brewski?" I ask- to drive, and I said, "What the hell,
brat of a niece along with them. She ed the biggest alien. why not." I sat behind the wheel,
and reached down for the seat ad-
justment. These critters only have
two-foot-long legs. I grabbed the le-
ver and pushed it back. Next thing
I know, I'm on this ugly street. It
was dirt, but blue and green and
black dirt. *
I turn to Greenlip, as I called him
(only to myself, mind you—I didn't
know what these varmints could do)
and asked him what happened. He
informed me that I had grabbed the
emergency lever, which would im-
mediately return the car to his street.
t So he asked me to spend the
night, and I couldn't see any reason
to refuse. After all, I couldn't walk
home.; '$& • •• • * * - •' •
We went into their place, which
was kinda cozy, and grabbed a cold
one. Man, they had good beer. You
know, kind oflike that Moosehead
stuff, butwith the kick of Mad Dog.
Head ofMercyhurst Security Merrill Dever's car has a parking sticker
with the number 007, secret agent James Bond's license to kill code. There we were, pulling an in-
trastellar party. It was fantastic.
Coincidence? We don't think so. Roger Moore, after all, has quit play-
ing Her Majesty's debonair civil servent Photo: G Kovski Greenlip called up his neighbors,
and they all came over. One of them
never can be quiet, no matter how An expression of relief crossed brought what looked like one of
much you tell her to shut up. Then his face, and he said, "Fantastic! I those BFR's (Big Freakin' Radio)
you have to sleep in the kitchen on was hoping you'd be an advanced and blasted some "music" that
a cot because they are sleeping in culture!" His voice sounded sounded like the Beastie Beys on
metal 1 ic and emanated from inside bagpipes. There really is some kind
digressing. Now where were we? my head. The alien grabbed the can of life in our galaxy, especially on
Oh yes, the aliens. and poured it in where our ears are. Saturday night.
I quickly thought about the possi- Maybe they hear where they speak, Afterjtying one on with these
ble alternatives, and decided to skip just like they say on that annoying guys, I knew that there was no way
town. After all, it would take them commercial for Campbell's soup. I could ever tell anyone about this.
overfouryears to reach Earth, so I He then asked me i f I wanted to But I'm telling you because The Na-
had plenty of time. Boy, was I goforaridein his sports ship. Why tional Enquirer wouldn't buy it. So
wrong. Hopping-into my pickup not? I'd never been craisin' with I thought I'd give the paper here a
truck, a 1974 black Ford 4x4,1 sped creatures in a Caddy before. shot at it first, before I write my|
away from the observatory. But Well, to make a long story longer, book and appear on David Letter-
there on that dark desert highway, we drove around for a while, me man. I wouldn't go on that Joanf
Rivers' show, because she really
with the cool wind in my hair and showing him'the sights/ him
the smell of calitas rising up in the belching a lot. He then told me makes me sick. I mean, really, she^
air, I saw up in the distance a shim- about how his sports ship worked. packs that body of hers into a dress §
mering lightf My hands grew heavy He lost me when he started talking that is two sizes too small*' How's
and my sight grew dim; it wasn't a about a six-dimensional coordinate she do that? I always picture some
system, in which the other three beefy dudes backstage, holding a'
spaceship the size of a 1972 Cadillac. axes, t, tau, and te, are cognates for dress up, then she jumps off a beam
Its styling was about the same. Dark the three axes we know. Each one of into it. They then take one of those
brown with a brown velour interior, these three is simply rotated 90
(See "GALAXY" page 7)
wide white walls on the tires and an degrees from the others. After ex-
oddly-shaped "Party GRXLT on plaining the system to me in terms
board" sign in the rear window. I
couldn't drive around it. So I stop-
MONEY
ped the pick-up and out from the
ship stepped four of the ugliest
creatures I had ever seen (not coun-
EARN
ting Ruth Buzzi), They were about Stuffing envelopes at home in your spare
4Vi feet tall, blue, and they looked
like pears. By blue I mean a color time. * 1 i
like Mercyhurst blue; you know, SEND $1.00 for details to:
dark. Not only that, they had
purplish eyes and green hair. We're Triple-E Enterprises
talking UGLY. These beings
definitely got whomped on by the P.O. Box 1781 \
Erie, Pa. 16507
PAGE 6 3Jbe fHerciad THURSDAY, APRIL 2, 1987
/

m A

By Brian Sheridan have anything to otter. Why bother asked for someone to check to see
with them. It was the pearl-necklace if the poster was officially licensed.
When casting my cynical eye of and briefcase types like Mr. and Obviously, Beav has become disillu-
social commentary recently to Mrs. Cleaver who wielded the clout sioned and embittered from trying
WTBS, the re-run heaven of televi- on "Beaver." Not only did a kind to live up to the impossible stan-
sion, I saw the "Leave it to Beaver" word here and there from Eddie dards of perfection instilled long ago
show. Then, as if by some godly in- ease the tension between the genera-*; by his parents. . f $%
tervention, the re-run was followed tions, but it showed how mediation For television in the fifties, Eddie
by an episode of "the New Leave it was the best method of solving* Haskell will forever remain the
to Beaver" which is the same show problems. Eddie had the generation harsh, stinging slap of reality, the
as the old one with everyone being gap figured even before the fancy- ripple in the still pond of sanitized
20 years older and Ward being dead; pantsed sociologists of the seventies thinking. No other show has an Ed-
but in the old show, Ward really had a namejfor it. As for his die Haskell. There wasn't an Eddie
didn't have a life anyway so his derogatory comments to Beaver, on "Father Knows Best." Sure,
departure isn't that sorely missed. many times they were deserved.
Through pointing lout goofyftj "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis"
There, in that bland hour of family had Maynard G. Krebs, but he was
television, I saw, in one pseudo- behavior, Eddie tried to push
Theodore towards maturity by using a part of the problem, not a weath-
spiritual moment, the past and the er vane pointing out the way the
future. I the Freudian concept that recogni-|
tion of a problem can be the cure. winds of social and moratfehange
fin both episodes I saw Wally's would blow in the coming decades.
smarmy friend, Eddie Haskell, ooz- If only Eddie could have been at the
White House last year, he mightl For those reasons, andforthe feet
ed into the Cleaver home with words have helped avert Iranscam by tell-^ that he was creepy, Eddie found
of false praise and respectforWard himself an oppressed minority in
and June. Then he insulted the Beav ing Ronald Reagan and Oliver North
that they were being goofe. All of May field. But he saw the writing on
for some goofy behavior, and he and this can be seen in the updated the video wall and ditched the milk-
Wally would be off in search of and-cookie scene. He became a leg-
trouble. t . "Beaver," who looks healthy, has a
good job, a nice family, and a pro-*.; end. Rumors circulated that he
E t h e "Eddie interlude*' of each mising future? Not the Beaver. He's became either Alice Cooper, the
episode was designed to show how ' a coronary waiting to happen, with rock star, or John Holmes, the por-
wholesome and good the Cleaver cheeks so fat he has to squint, more no star. Neither was true. %
kids were. It was when he appeared chins than a Chinese phonebook. Eddie was out there all along, a
I realized Eddie got a bum rap. If He's once divorced and still acts like mover and a shaker, making deals
there was ever anything to be learn- £ he's 10 years old. The acting hasn't* and breaking hearts,ridinga strong
ed from this sitcom, Eddie was the I gotten any better over the years, undercurrent and waiting to be
guy to learn it from. Infeet,little did noticed as the true symbol of life in
Above is "Nothing Sacred's" author Brian Sheridan filling in over
we know at the time that, to survive either.
Spring Break-far his buddy Michael Jackson in the 3-D video show, | our times. The 80's, full of Betty
in a world in which the Theodores, A friend of mine met both Bea- Ford Clinics, Cabbage Patch Kids
"Captain Eo/'at Walt Disney World Epcot Center. Sheridan reportsWallys, Larrys, and Lumpys would
he feels fine now. t ver and Eddie a few years ago at a and Chicken McNuggets, is the en-
be adults, you'd have to behave like mall during a "Leave it to Beaver" vironment seemingly created by Ed-
an Eddie. Eddie always knew who promotional tour. He tried to get die Haskell. We need him, for he
to compliment. His peers didn't them to sign a poster which Eddie can make make it work.
thought was "neat." Beaver, though,

1987-88
4-2-4 ACADEMIC CALENDAR
(12 weeks, 8 weeks, 12 weeks)

Fall Term: S e p t e m b e r 1-November 2 4 Winter Term: D e c e m b er 1-February 9

NOVEMBER
Faculty Workshop 30 Mon Registration/Evening classes
Freshman arrive/Orientation begin
Registration
DECEMBER
SEPTEMBER P* 1 Tues Day classes begin/Late
1 ? Tues First day of classes/Late registration |
registration Tues Last day to change/enter classes
Mon Labor Day/no classes Frl Last day of classes/Christmas
Tues Last day to change/enter classes break begins after classes

OCTOBER JANUARY
|16 Mid-term progress reports to 4 Mon Day/Evening classes »
Registrar resume/5-week courses begin / /

23 Fri Last day to withdraw/declare 12 Tues Mid-term progress reports to

pass-fail Registrar
AOti'Wi' K* Cm »*»€
15 I
Last data to withdraw/declare
NOVEMBER me
9/10 Mon/lues Winter term registration/
Completed work for spring and 18/19
J I pass-fail
MonrTues Spring term registration
THRIFT DRUG froem<
summer Incompletes to
FEBRUARY
Instructors "
18 Wed Last day of classes/spring and 4 Thurs Completed work for fall
Incompletes to Instructors
Grandview Shopping Plaza
summer Incomplete to Registrar
Thurs FINALS STUDY DAY/Evening
Fri Last day of classes/fall
Incompletes to Registrar
825-2333
Class FINAL EXAMS Mon FINAL EXAMS L
20
23
24
Frl
Mon
"lues
FINAL EXAMS
FINAL EXAMS
FINAL EXAMS
Hies FINAL EXAMS
JCPenney Catalog
To order call: • Order Inquiries Call
1-800-222.6161 825-2901
THURSDAYMPRIL 2, 1987 3be fKerciafc
PAGE 7

Congressman
VOLUNTEERS NEEDED teachers; April 9, Hyatt?Regency- at 8 p.m. and April 5 at 7:30 p.m.
Students are needed to help with this Buffalo fpr ORM, Bus. Adm., Ac- Tickets are $6.00 and can be re-
year's Senior Week. Needed are two counting, and HRM majors for served by calling 838-1954.
Juniors and two Seniors to help plan management trainees. Students in- Modern Tool Theatre Co.
and implement the activities for terested in interviewing should go to In the eyes of many taxpayers, the The longerformhas become con-
presents California Suite, a new Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has
May. Please contact Peggy Hirsch at the Career Services Office, Main comedy by Neil Simon, Friday and troversial, and the IRS^ has
825-3333 if seriously interested in 204, to sign up for an appointment. done it again. Complying with the distributed 20,000 videotapes to ex-
Saturday, April 10 & 11 only at 8 new taxreformact, the agency has
helping. 1 p.m. Tickets are $6.00 and can be re- plain theformand worksheet. The
created a new and more difficult situation has prompted Secretary of
EDUCATION DEPARTMENT served by calling 459-0093. W-4 form that employees must file
RECRUITERS ON CAMPUS Interviewsforfreshmen and transfer SHOWS World of Wheels custom the Treasury James Baker to call for
Thefollowingrecruiters will be on students who are seeking admission before October 1 of this year. To en- revision. It's clear that some kind of
car and off road show will be at thesure correct withholding throughout
campus this week:[April 6, Glen into the Elementary Education Erie Civic Center April 4from1:00 simplification is necessary.
Mills Schools for Crim. Jus., Psyc., Department will be held Wednes- the 1987 tax year, it is recommend- Recently, a hearing was held
to 10:00 and April 5 from 1:00 to ed that they be filed before the Oc-
Sports Med., and Liberal Arts ma- day, April 8 and Thursday, April 9. 7:00. ] before the Senate Finance Subcom-
jorsforteachers and Coaches; April Please see Mrs. Kaliszak, Education tober deadline. mittee on Private Retirement Plans
The Magic of David Copperfield Thefour-pageform,including a
7, Red Roof InnsforHRM and Busi- secretary, in order to schedule this will be presented Friday, April 3 at and Oversight of the Internal Reve-
ness majors for management worksheet, replaced the old two- nue Service to examine the prob-
interview and to obtain the interview the Warner Theatre. There will be page form and serves the purpose of
trainees; April 8, Harborcreek forms. two performances, 5:30 and 8:30. lem. During the hearing, IRS
Youth ServicesforPsyc., Sociology, instructing an employer how much Commissioner Lawrence B. Gibbs
Reserved seats are on sale now for to withhold for federal tax. said, "In our tax system there is a
Mental Health, Crim. Jus., Educ, THEATRE Brighton Beach $16.50 and;$14.50. Call 452-4857
and Spec. Ed. majors for child care Memoirs will be presented at the In past years, some people who constant tension between fairness
for more information. enjoy more money in their and simplicity. In.. .withholding,
counselors and Special Ed. Erie Art Museum Theatre April 4 paychecks have purposely had their this translates to a tension between
taxed underwithheld, sometimes accuracy and simplicity. In develop-
GALAXY *
appreciate any money you could
give him to get him on his way- ISSUE .
encountering difficulty paying off
the tax bill they incur from the prac-
ing the taxreformlegislation, Con-
gress and the Internal Revenue
(Continued from page 5) cash onljvno checks or credit (Continued from page 4)
tice. Others use the IRS withholding Service realized that tax tax reform
cards. Please send donations to There are other "Fools Day" sur- system as a forced savings play,
air hammers and shove in the excess prises within this issue. You should claiming fewer allowances in order presented a unique opportunity to
the Adelweiss Fund, c/o The Mer- introduce more accuracy into the
andrivetthe straps in place so they ciad, Box 129. By the way, Mickey, be able to spot them, though, and toreceivea large refund. The Con- withholding system. While not
don't break. this is The Merciad, not Pen- they are not on the news pages. I re- gress and the IRS have sought to
< But really, you guys are fantastic. thouse. peat Dean Palmer has resigned. perfect in each and every Case,*' our
But how about running some more prevent both of these extreme situa- newformW-4 was redesigned to ob-
This is not an April Fool's Day joke. tions in order to more accurately
nude shots of Madonna? Again, I want to mention that we are predict and manage incoming tax tain the most accurate answerforthe
Editor's Note: Doctor Mickey KOVSKI a school's journalism publication, revenue and outgoing tax refunds.
largest possible number of taxpayers
among over 100 million individual
Adelweiss, Ph.D., M.D., B.Y.O.B., (Continued from page 4) ^m not a humor magazine, though we
professor of Intergallactic Issues Nearly 80% of all taxpayers receiv- taxpayers." - •
BARKER: James Bakker, sir. And don't mind if we are at times con- ed refunds last year.
taught here at Mercy hurst for the what do they call thee? <j? sidered witty. Humor publications Before the new law, taxpayers
past two years. He also provides SWAGGART: His Almost-Holiness are much better at being funny they 'While the Congress was striving were subject to a penalty if less than
some great material for v Jimmy Swaggart, God-On-Earth, we could be. The reverse is also for simplicity and fairness in the tax 80 percent of what they owed in a
psychology students, as well as be- Dane of TVLand and Keeper Of true: we are much better at repor- reform act, there were many times taxable year was withheld. The new
ing a volunteer for biology The Sexual Misadventures. \ ting Mercy hurst news than thejnre. when one had to be sacrificed for law increased that figure from 80
students' experiments. He's now BAKKER: Have ye anything on me, If you want to read a parody or a the other. The tax reform act percent to 90 percent, thereby
ready to retire, especially after m'lord? publication that is in the business for directed the IRS to revise the form reducing the margin of error on the
that mishap with the Bunsen SWAGGART: Ah, yes, my^good slaying sacred cows, read "National to make withholding more accurate, W-4 form. At a time when most
burner, and complete his man. Doth yeremembera comely Lampoon." Or maybe read "Mad while an accompanying Senate Fi- people are beginning to think about
autobiography titled "Cruisin' lass named Jessica Hahn? Magazine." In fact, my copy just ar- nance Committee report instructed their 1986 tax liability, the new W-4
with Creatures in a Caddy." He BAKKER: What be the price of rived in the mail yesterday. "What? that the W-4'tform was not to be asks them to accurately estimate
needs funds, though, so he would Me worry?" made more complex. 1987 tax liability. | | §j>' M
silence?
THE FAR)SIDE BytGARY LARSON I H i FAR SIDE PBy GARY LARSON THI FAR 5IDE By GARY LARSON

Wendall Zurkowlfe: Slave to the waffle light Unbeknownst to most historians, Einstein started
The fake McCoys »wn the road of professional basketball before
an ankle Injury diverted him Into science. *
PAGE 8 She JHerciaft THURSDAY, APRIL 2,1987

Crew • Team In Shipshape For Spring Season

Presque Isle Bay is home port for
the Laker crews, which began their
on-water training in Oak Ridge, Tn.
over the spring break and have now
moved back to the colder waters of
Lake Erie. Fifty two athletes, row-
ing in seven different crews, make
up this year's team. Jack Gartner,
one of the people who promoted
crew at Mercy hurst in 1971 is
coaching the freshman women's
program. "They're not a big crew,
but they're very tough and they
should do well," explained coach
Gartner. There are 14 girls on the
freshman squad all in their first year
of rowing. •: - relatively snew category of
The men's freshman team is
under the direction of coach Bruce
Belovarac, now in his ninth year of
coaching at the 'Hurst. His team of
nine has both size and experience in
theirfavor.Belovarac expects to race
m both eight and four man races this
spring. Vail Regatta. Six heavyweights will Head coach Mike Purcer said "all
The varsity women's squad are all be boated in a pair and a four race of the crews have been working very
returning members of last year's shell for races this spring. hard over the winter and we are all
team. The girls will be racing in the The Flagship this year is the anxious to start racing,*%Coach
men's lightweight eight. The group Purcer is in his first year coaching
lightweight women at the National has already won four races in- at the 'Hurst and is taking over from
Championship Dad Vail Regatta. cluding two in Columbus, one in long time coach Allan Belovarac,
The M e n's varsity heavyweight team Buffalo and one in Oak Ridge. With who has remained as adviser to the
has been plagued by injuries over four freshmen, three sophomores crew programs.
the winter and will be hard pressed and two juniors this crew promises
to repeat last year's showing of a to be the beginning of a dynasty for
first and third place finish at the Dad the 'Hurst. 31

Ej; This time down the court, we're
going to try and explain something
that not too many people
understand—the making of a 3 min-
ute 45 second TV halftime show—
because even when you give it the
best you can, work really hard, not
a lot offolksrealize just what's all
involved. What most of my cameo
glimpses into the behind-the-scenes
world of college hoops require are
two days of work—including travel
time, from concourse to concourse.
But because of space limitations,
I've selected one of thefewthat was
done in a day-—when I recently took
my annual pilgrimage to Bloom-
ington to spend a four-hour time
block doing a halftime show on
Coach Bobby Knight.
Okay. The alarm clock jumped
me off the living room floor at 6:15
a.m., and in my stupor I realized J
haven't done an Indiana game in two
years, but also that nothing really
changes. f-
This, I decide/ is what I want to
hit upon in my show—that in Coach
Knights case, change only means
that the racetrack sports jacket had
become a rotating Adidas pullover
fed or white sweater. And, that he's
left the four powerful Midwest states
from which he's always recruited—
Illinois, Indiana, Ohio and
Michigan—and opened up the
whole country, including JUCO
Wue-chippers. And yes, that he is
now play ing a zone—which is even
obvious to Billy P. and Dick V. [
; By the time I'd thought this all
out, I'd climbed into a seven o'clock
commuter out of Milwaukee foi
Indianapolis—a plane, that was made
for the Hunchback of Notre Dame,
because once you get on one, you
can't straighten up. And the guy
who took my ticket at the counter
was the same guy who loaded my
baggage on the plane, and then end-
ed up tugging on his Eddie Ricken-
backer leather hat with the goggles
as the pilot. I landed a 10:24 a.m.
and was picked up by Murray Bar-
tow, a graduate assistant at Indiana
and son of Gene Bartow, the head
Laker Baseball!
Aquires New Field
By Jennifer Conmy the team has been able to play and
has required that the baseball field
Mercy hurst College has been be repaired each year before the
coach a UAB, for a 55-mile trip to shooters in the business. ; renovating the baseball fields at the baseball season begins. I
visit the residence of the round ball Then, it was back to the airport, old Kanty Prep school in prepara- Mercy hurst is now working on the
gunl. P | i with 11m chauffeuring, for my re- tion of the Laker baseball team's field renovations which will be fin-
Upon arriving in Bloomington, I turn flight to where beer is Made the eventual move to the fields for the ished before the 1987 Fall baseball
knelt and kissed his ring—and AmericanJWay. I got back to my 1987-88 playing season. The move season. The team will be practicing
caught the end of practice, which home at 11 o'clock that night- will begin this week when the team on thefieldsthis spring before of-
ended at noon because it was the having put in about 17 hours for a begins practicing on the new fields, ficially moving the program to the
Christmas holiday. Believe me, it 3-minute 45-second show, A piece located out on East 38th street. fields in the fall. ± «.
was a real physical workout, no of cake, huh? • The reason for the move is, in Coach Bob Shreve thinks the col-
nonsense, with Coach Knight There are a couple of last points part, due to the administration's lege has done a nice job in
always keeping the court spread and I'd like to make. W£\ti decision to give added emphasis to renovating thefieldsrHealso stated
working screens in their motion 01- One is that, if Coach Knight has the sport of baseball here at Mer- that the baseball team will be the on-
fense. On D, they worked on cutting a human fault, it's thataf he likes cyhurst. The new fields will give the ly one using thefields,which will
off passing lanes, and on a concen- you, he'll do anythingforyou. What team the added dimension of having add to team's practices and game
trated, maximum effort on he did for me was a hel 1 of a favor their own playing field, which they playing.^
man-to-man. at a busy time, and you'd better have lacked here at Mercy hurst. In Shreve is hopeful that the school
We then went for a paper napkin believe thisformersidelines-pacer the past the baseball team has been will be able to provide shuttle
lunch, at a place the health depart- appreciates it. * sharing its field with the football transportationforLaker fans to the
ment hasn'tfoundyet, accompanied Second, make no mistake. team during the fall. This has cut home games, since they will no
by his son Tim, who graduated from There's no doubt, when this man down on the amount of Fall baseball longer be played on campus.
Stanford and represents Coach walks onto a basketball court,
Knight in all businesses outside of everyone's eyes are on him. The
the University. Thefoodwas good, visiting coach, the reft, the media*
and the conversation—believe it or thefens—theyseem to know by ESP
not—was mainly on fishing and
hunting.
that the man is coming out.
I doubt that he's ever played to a
After that, we went back and did less than SRO house in the Big Ten
a 35-40 minute, in-depth conversa- in the last 10 years, and his intensi-
ty and cold stare guarantees the
Pub
tion on basketball and what this
giant would do if basketball ended Nielson Rating for;any Indiana
tomorrow—and how he'd want to be game. He's like a superstar. He is
presents
remembered. This show was shown the personification of Hoosier
on Peb. 2Uwhen Iowa played
Indiana.
madness. ; j
Coach Knight is one of those rare
There are afewthings I will say: people who takes the air out of the
When we talked that half-hour plus room, who makes the heart pound,
College] Night
before two-angle cameras, Coach
Knight said the three-point play is
makes it tough to breathe.
Everybody knows he's there, even
Every Wednesday
the opposing team, who make
suicidal to the game. And, that he
has certain doubts and reservations believe they don't, but they know:
about the way the NCAA and the Here comes the man. He is, today,
from 7:00-11:001RM.
presidents of the universities are the only one who has that kind of
handling things. awareness to everybody in the place.
Also, he doesn't care who refc the Even the ushers. ,, All the wings you can
What I'm trying to show is that
games, and doesn't know who the
reft are until he gets on court—
which is rare—andfeelsthe three-
Bobby Knight—as reflected by the
reactions of his peers—is so aware.
eat for $3.00 and 25<P
second lane should be widened. And it's not just coincidence that
Coach Knight also said hefeltthat awareness and greatness take up the
drafts, plus hourly
his next career would not have to be same number of letters on the writ-
competitive, and in addition, touch- ten page. • drink specials.
ed a little on the sweaters, the zones, They only thing I don't like about
and the shoe contracts, athletes Bobby Knight being so good to me
receiving some money, and the is that it seems I'm old. because he's Proper LD. will be required.
always extra nice to old people...
shooting ability of Steve Alford—
one of the greatest lights-out