Documenti di Didattica
Documenti di Professioni
Documenti di Cultura
SOC 175.10
Take Home Final
December 17, 2009
1. Although not fully explored in the short class discussion, the articles regarding marriage
and gender helped change my ideas about the different roles men and women play in
relationships, as well as how marriage effects men and women differently. The articles by
Bernard deeply examine how different marriage is for the husband and wife. The first section,
The Husband’s Marriage, focused much of its analysis on the positive impacts of marriage and
the negative impacts of bachelorhood. While Bernard explains that marriage is not necessarily
the cause in the disparity between the categories of men, it is hard to determine a single factor
and marriage is definitely a contributing factor. The suicide rates, as we went over in class, were
very compelling evidence. Men who were once married or were widowed are much more likely
to commit suicide than women of the same categories or men or women who are married. There
are many reasons for why unmarried men are unhappier and more likely to commit suicide. They
have ties to society in their wives and children and once they loose those ties, they can become
detached and depressed. Further, men traditionally have less of the same skills that their wives
have (i.e.
Further, marriage gives men better mental health and is better for their careers. The
observation that men are always the one seemingly opposed to marriage while they are the ones
who profit from it the most was particularly thought provoking because women are often
socialized from a young age that they must marry in order to be happy. Women, on the other
hand, are often less happy once they are married. They tend to receive more counseling and also
file for divorce more than men. It is also interesting that the causes of problems in marriage are
generally thought of as problematic yet the problems are made out to be her fault, which
reinforces the mental health problems many married women experience. Additionally, single
The other article, "Popping the Question," also confirms the different experiences men
and women have before even walking down the isle. The article points out that the proposal is
done more to confirm for other people that the relationship is serious and that the marriage will
actually happen. The proposal signals the wedding planning can begin. The gendered division of
labor and power between the male and female is evident in the process of proposal since the man
has the control; the women can chose to say yes or no but the man has to ask her first.
Additionally, the importance of the ring was an interesting topic. As we discussed in class,
diamond companies who had surpluses in the 1920s invented the idea of the diamond
engagement ring. It was also interesting to hear a group member speak about the differences
between engagement rings here as opposed to Europe, where rings are much more simple and
modest. The idea that women control the men, that there is no surprise anymore in an
engagement, seemed to be true. Many women have fantasized about their wedding day and the
entire process leading up to it because of all the social pressures to have the perfect day. All in
all, the articles and class discussions made me think much more critically of marriage and its
2. Gender and power are very closely linked. One example where the relationship between
the two can be seen is through communication. Men and women communicate differently when
in situations with only members of the same gender or when with a mixed group. From Celia
Ridgeway's article Gender, Status, and the Social Psychology of Expectations, we see that
expectation states theory plays into the disadvantages women experience in goal-oriented
interactions. The theory maintains that women have lower status value than men do and
therefore, have less power. They will not have as much influence, participation, or attention
received as men will in group interactions because women are already assumed to have a lower
status than men. One experiment cited in the article found that when gender is activated
expectations that in turn drive verbal and nonverbal interaction. This finding supports the idea
that women have less power in goal-oriented interactions, because unlike men, women cannot
have interactions where gender does not influence the other persons response.
This is also supported by other examinations of gender and ineraction. In the Interuptions
in Group Discussions article by Smith-Lovin and Brody, the study finds that men discriminate
when they interrupt others and women do not. The study shows that men more frequently
interrupt and also do so based on sex. Similarly, in Sex and Power in Interaction: Conversational
Privileges and Duties, the study found that among couples, the more powerful person interupted
his or her partner more and produced lower rates questions. Women are dominated by men in
conversation, and in turn, do not receive the same benefits that men do from the same ideas, and
women are less likely to even share these ideas since they are generally considered of lower
status.
Gender and power may not always be linked but I cannot think of a situation in which
they are not. In terms of space and gender, women have to be much more careful than men about
entering certain situations. Women cannot just walk down the street, anywhere, anytime of day,
without either fear of danger or fear of social ostracism (e.g. other women or men staring or
verbally inquiring why a woman would go to a certain neighborhood). Stalking cases are also
mostly men stalking women, as with rape cases. We explored these ideas in a class discussion. I
think it was very telling that there was an extensive list of pieces of advice women had received
or given, while men had not given or received nearly as much. Men have the power to hurt
women and women, while not completely helpless, do not have an equal amount of power in
order to act in the same way as men. As mentioned earlier, even in an act like proposing
marriage, the man has the power because if the woman asks the man it does not seem legitimate
3. Space is very gendered. One of the best examples (I'm not sure if we talked about it in
class or not) I can think of is the weight room at the gym. The weight room is a space mainly
reserved for men. It is kind of an unwritten rule that women do not enter the weight room, even
though just feet away women are working out just as hard as the men, but because it is the cardio
room it is acceptable. Why can't women cross this line? There is no physical barrier, only social
In Carol Gardner's article, she writes about how women's access information are more
exposed and more frequently violated. Gardner maintains that men view women as more openly
accessible, and that having a conversation at bar/nightclub or giving someone a business card is
perceived as an open invitation for men to access the woman's private life. Many women in the
study she conducted said they employed different strategies to appear less open to strangers
while the men gave their personal information away to see more open and friendly. Men do not
wear different clothes in order to seem more guarded or closed off, but because of the pursuits of
men, women change their habits to avoid unwarranted contact with strangers. This idea points to
In Beth Quinn's article, The Power of Meaning of "Girl Watching," she finds that men
often engage in girl watching and women find it uncomfortable but it often becomes trivialized
as boys playing ("boys will be boys..."). While it is a form of bonding for men, it also makes men
likely to objectify a woman without her consent. This leads to confusion when a woman
complains. This article, like Gardner's, shows that women have to change their appearance to
avoid unwanted attention, which reveals the power men hold over public space.
4. I can hardly think of an activity where gender is not relevant, except if you are at home
sitting by yourself, in a gender neutral apartment, in gender neutral clothing, thinking gender
neutral thoughts. It is my opinion that whether people would like to believe it or not, everything
we do is gendered. From the way we walk down the street, to the food we buy at the store, to the
movies we watch, people have been socialized from birth to view the world as either male or
female. Some of the most innocuous things are gendered: cocktail drinks, for instance. Men and
women can both drink beer (the woman might have a light beer) but a man cannot order a
cocktail without his getting sexuality questioned. (True story: watching a Yankee's playoff game
at a bar with a friend and he ordered a Mango-tini and the waitress kept giving him surprised
looks when he'd order another and he turned to me and asked me why the waitress was giving
him looks and not me, so I said it was because he was getting such a fruity drink, but he didn't
understand.) In the same way, men smoke cigars but it is rare to see a woman do so.
One thing we discussed in class was greetings among friends. Women shake hands, hug,
or give a kiss on the cheek when greeting a man or a woman. Men would do the same to greet a
woman, but to greet another man, a man can only give a full hug in certain situations. They can
do a half-hug/shoulder bump or shake hands. Only in Europe would a man kiss another man on
the cheek, and even then it is not as common as it used to be. Another class discussion topic was
in posture. Many times women will sit with their legs crossed at the ankles or knee and try to
take up as least amount of space as possible. Men, on the other hand, can sit with feet flat on the
floor, knees spread, and slouching. Dress also comes into play here. Men and women wear very
different types of jewelry and rarely do men have purses or bags of any kind beyond a backpack
or satchel. Shoes are also important to gender-- men do not wear high heels. Hair is also
extremely gendered. Women will generally have longer hair than men, and gender can become
Sports are another activity where gender is extremely relevant. Men's and women's sports
are often the same in name but are completely different sports in practice. For instance, both men
and women's lacrosse is played with a sick and a ball but women are not allowed to have any
physical contact and their sticks are completely different than men's. Similarly, women are not
allowed to play baseball except when very young, and then they are forced into softball, which is
a completely different game. Also, smaller differences are in many sports, like in basketball
where women play with smaller balls. Even areas of study for college are gendered; there are so
many fields that are full of men and lack women or vice-versa. In virtually all areas of life
gender is a factor.
5. There have been variations from very feminine body types with tiny waists, wider hips,
and modest busts to more boyish figures that lack curves completely. This variation in body type
shows that society determines what is desirable and what is unattractive. The evolution of beauty
shows that the ideas about what the body should look like can and will change eventually.
Beauty is absolutely a social construct; we decide what is attractive by rewarding certain body
types over others and promoting those types. Acceptance of different body types can only come
from promotion of healthy lifestyles and body types.
The body is important to gender in that women are supposed to have curves and men are
supposed to be broad shouldered and bigger. Also the way people use their bodies is important to
gender. Women's clothing is often tailored to promote certain aspects of the female body, in the
same way that men's clothing does. If someone does not have a traditionally female or male
body, one is encouraged by images of attractive and normal body types that they can attempt to
change their body to appear more appropriate to their sex through natural or cosmetic means.
For instance, in the Kaw article, shows that Asian American women felt a lot of social pressure
to conform to more "white" standards of beauty so they would get plastic surgery on their eyes.
Additionally, many women feel like they have to get breast implants in order to become more