Day 4
Parents is the word ‘goneus’. The word
means ‘to generate’. It serves to describe either the
mother or father. Goneus is in the plural in this verse,
which would signify both parents. There should be a
cooperation of the parental authority. Parents should
stand united and not oppose one another. They
should parent consistently with one clear voice.
Children are to obey and honor parents, how? ‘In
the Lord’ - Paul's point is that this prescribed
obedience to parents, is the child's obligation to
Christ, whether or not the parents are Believers. "In
the Lord" defines the quality of the obedience. It is
to be the obedience of a Spirit-filled child in
communion or fellowship with Christ and their
obedience should be as if to Him, as if obeying the
Lord Himself. Children should see Jesus in dad and
mom and that should fuel their obedience and honor
fire!
The “modern version” of Ephesians 6:1 would be,
“Parents, obey your children, for this will keep them
happy and bring peace to the home.”
Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother,
that your days may be prolonged in the land which
the LORD your God gives you." It is worth noting
that in the New Testament all Ten Commandments
except the fourth [Honor the Sabbath] are restated
and are to be obeyed in the power of the Spirit's
filling and under grace.
Today, I have a question for those of you
who still live under your parents’ roof. Do you
respect that authority? Do you see your submission
to them as part of your Christian responsibility? Are
you willing to accept that as a command from God,
and not excuse rebellion against that authority? That
IS your responsibility, if you are a Believer.
Commandments. Ten of them. This means
that God said that of ten things that would be
important for relationships, one of them existed for
the family structure. Why would the honoring of the
children be a problem for the family? For society?
Day 5 Volume 2 Number 16
Let’s go back to ‘Honor your father and mother’ -
Obedience is the duty. Honor is the attitude. To honor
one's parents means to show them respect and love, to
ENGAGED
April 17 - 23
care for them as long as they need, and to seek to bring
honor to them by the way one lives. Remember that an act
without the proper attitude is hypocrisy. If you do what your
parents tell you to do but you hate it and you’re unwilling
and nasty about it, then you’re a hypocrite. If you do what
your parents tell you to do but you’re bitter, fearful,
reluctant and selfish, that is not the right spirit. God is after
the attitude much more than He’s after the act, because if
the attitude is right, the act will follow. But a right act with a
wrong attitude is nothing but hypocrisy.
What is Honor? Honor means: to show high regard; respect
for and so to count as valuable; to esteem; to value; and to
revere. To show respect to someone is to recognize their
worth as a person (and if they are a parent, to recognize
the validity of their role and their authority) and implies a
considered evaluation or estimation. To hold in awe. It is
the same attitude we are to have to Christ. In a family, the
husband is Christ, the wife is the church, and the children Ephesians 6:1-3
are to see that union lived out in such a way as to ascribe
awe to it. The world should watch a Christian family; “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is
seeing the love of a husband, the respect of the wife and right. Honor your father and mother–which is the first
commandment with a promise–that it may go well with
the honor of the children; as they obey the authority of their
parents, the world stands in awe and desires what it sees. you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
As the world watches your relationships, does it make them
stand in awe? What are you doing to promote Christ in
your lifestyle? Does your life and attitudes give you
opportunity to declare His fame? Why or why not?
The responsibility of being good parents is not
dealt with in this week’s verses (that comes next through
week). But notice that these verses do not say
“Children obey your parents if they are good to you,
are consistent, and godly themselves.” The
responsibility in this relationship has nothing at all to
do with the quality of the parenting, but rests, rather,
in God’s established chain of command. And so, if
He is your Lord, your responsibility is to do this as His
servant, and no one else’s. This is a good thing to
remember in all our relationships. We do it for Him,
as much as for the one to whom we are relating.
Is it important that children obey their parents
IN the Lord? Why do parents have the most
responsibility in this whole idea of honor?
Day 1
As Paul was writing to the church at
Ephesus, there existed a Roman law called ‘patria
potestas’. Patria Postestas ruled that a Roman
father had absolute authority over his family. At any
moment and for any reason, he could sell them as
slaves, he could make them work in his fields even
in chains, he could punish as he wished and could
even call for the death penalty without a courtroom.
Further, the power of the Roman father extended
for the child’s entire life, so long as the father lived.
A Roman son never came of age. There was the
custom of child exposure. When a child was born, it
was placed before its father’s feet, and, if the father
stooped and lifted the child that meant that he
acknowledged it and wished it to be kept. If he
turned and walked away, it meant that he refused to
acknowledge it and the child could quite literally be
thrown out. A Roman child always ran the risk of
being repudiated and exposed. Often, unwanted
children were left in the Roman forum. There they
became the property of anyone who cared to pick
them up. They were collected at nights by people
who fed them in order to sell them as slaves or to
provide bodies for the brothels of Rome. Because of
Patria Postestas in Rome, the family was most
often in dysfunction. What do you think lead to the
most dysfunction in families today? How can we
begin to protect and fix family dysfunction?
This week’s verse is a specific command
to children who are followers of Christ. The Holy
Spirit speaks through Paul to tell children “in the
Lord” to obey their parents, because this is the
right thing to do. However, there are several
general lessons to be learned about all
relationships, by these verses. First and
foremost, God is not just “right” because He says
He is. The very essence of God is “right”-ness.
We have strayed far from the belief that we
should do something because it is right.
Perhaps, we as followers need to remember that
in our relationships.
God has ordained structure. His structure
is that children are to obey their parents, that this
is right. Why would this structure of obedience
be right for the Lord? Why is it right for the
world?
Day 2
The word ‘Children’ comes from the word
‘teknon’. It is strictly a child produced, male or
female, son or daughter. This word for children is not
in the generational sense but in the family sense.
What are children’s primary responsibilities in life as
a child? - To obey! Obey who? Their parents! The
word ‘obey’ in Greek is hupakouo. It is present
imperative which is a command for children to obey
as a lifestyle. In the present verse hupakouo means
that Spirit-filled children are to continually put
themselves under the words and authority of their
parents. They are to continually exhibit a readiness to
hear their parent's commands and instructions. The
basic picture is that of placing oneself under what has
been heard and therefore submitting to and obeying
what is heard. What do you see as the primary
stumbling blocks to achieve this goal in your family?
In this culture? Why do you think it is important?
Following up on yesterday’s theme, we need
to live up to a certain standard in our relationships
because we are “In the Lord”. As Followers of Christ,
our standard of conduct is not determined by what
the culture does, or by what “works”. Parent/child
relationships and discipline are determined by our
Master if we are truly Followers. Who determines
your parenting style, your discipline style and your
“obedience” style?
What does it mean to honor someone? Who
has the honor in your family? How can you tell?
Day 3
Not only are children to obey their
parents, but also, moving on to verse 2 of
Chapter 6, we have the second part of the
command. Honor! Obedience and honor sum
up the whole distinctive duty of the child, not just
in the New Testament but also in the Old…
Read the following passages of Scripture and
journal anything that comes to your mind as you
read: Leviticus 19:3-4, Deuteronomy 21:18,
Proverbs 1:8, Proverbs 6:20-23, Proverbs 23:22,
Pr 30:11, Pr 30:17, and Colossians 3:20.
The relationship of parent to child has
been drastically undermined by the direction our
government has taken our country. Children
have become wards of the state in many (most?)
cases. But for us, this verse that commands
obedience of children to parents, places the
responsibility, and the authority of discipline,
development and guidance, on parents. Do not
reject that responsibility or turn it over to the
government. God has given you as parents that
charge, and the charge to children to submit to
that authority.
God told the Children of Israel that
honoring fathers and mothers would end up in
good things for them. What are some ways that
this kind of relationship would go well for a
family?