Patient Information Publications
Clinical Center
National Institutes of Health
Talking to Children about Death
If you are concerned about discussing
death with your children, you are not
alone. Many of us hesitate to talk about
death, particularly with youngsters. But
death is an inescapable fact of life. We
must deal with it, and so must our chil -
dren. If we are to help them, we must
let them know it's okay to talk about it.
By talking to our children about death,
we may discover what they know and
do not know; if they have misconcep -
tions, fears, or worries. We can then
help them by providing information,
comfort, and understanding. Talk does
not solve all problems, but without talk,
we are even more limited in our ability
to help.
What we say about death to our chil -
dren, or when we say it, will depend on
their ages and experiences. It will also
depend on our own experiences,
beliefs, feelings, and the situations in
which we find ourselves, for each situa -
tion we face is somewhat different.
Some discussions about death may be
stimulated by a news report or a televi -
sion program and take place in a rela -
tively unemotional atmosphere. Other
talks may result from a family crisis and
be charged with emotions.
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This information cannot possibly deal
with every situation. It does provide
some general information which may be
helpful and which may be adapted to
meet each family's needs.
Children are aware
Long before we realize it, children
become aware of death. They see dead
birds, insects, and animals lying by the
road. They may see death at least once
a day on television or on video games.
They hear about it in fairy tales and act
it out in their play. Death is a part of
everyday life, and children, at some
level, are aware of it.
If we permit children to talk to us about
death, we can give them needed infor-
mation, prepare them for a crisis, and
help them when they are upset. We can
encourage their communication by
showing interest in and respect for what
they say. We can also make it easier for
them to talk to us if we are open, hon-
est, and comfortable with our own feel-
ings. Perhaps we can make it easier for
ourselves and for our children if we take
a closer look at some of the problems
that might make communication difficult.
Communication barriers
Avoidance, confrontation
Many of us are inclined not to talk about
things that upset us. We try to put a lid
1 Talking to Children about Death
on or hide our feelings and hope that
saying nothing will be for the best. But
not talking about something does not
mean that we are not communicating.
Children are great observers. They read
messages on our faces and in the way
we walk or hold our hands. We express
ourselves by what we do, by what we
say, and by what we do not say.
When we avoid talking about something
that is obviously upsetting, children often
hesitate to bring up the subject or ask
questions about it. To a child, avoidance
can be a message: “If Mommy and
Daddy can't talk about it, it must be bad,
so I better not talk about it either.” Or, “I
cannot talk about it because it will only
make Mommy or Daddy more sad.” In
effect, instead of protecting our children
by avoiding talk, we sometimes cause
them more worry and keep them from
telling us how they feel. The child's fear
of the unknown is worse than facing the
reality. The child may fantasize and cre-
ate the worst scenario or an incorrect
reality.
On the other hand, it is also not wise to
confront children with information that
they may not understand or want to
know. As with any sensitive subject, we
must seek a delicate balance that
encourages children to communicate: a
balance between avoidance and con-
frontation. This balance is not easy to
achieve. It involves the following:
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■ Trying to be sensitive to children's
desires to communicate when they
are ready.
■ Maintaining an openness that encour-
ages children's attempts to communi-
cate.
■ Listening to and accepting children's
feelings.
■ Offering children honest explanations
when we are obviously upset.
■ Answering questions in simple lan-
guage appropriate for their age.
■ Trying to find brief, simple, and age-
appropriate answers to children's
questions; understandable answers
which do not overwhelm them with
too many words.
Perhaps most difficult of all, communicat-
ing about death involves examining our
own feelings and beliefs so that we can
talk to our children naturally when oppor-
tunities arise.
Not having all the answers
When talking with children, many of us
feel uncomfortable if we do not have all
the answers. Young children, in particu-
lar, seem to expect parents to be all
knowing, even about death. But death,
the one certainty in life, is life's greatest
uncertainty. Coming to terms with death
can be a lifelong process. We may find
different answers at different stages of
our lives, or we may always feel
2 Talking to Children about Death
uncertain and fearful. If we have unresolved
fears and questions, we may wonder how
to provide comforting answers for our chil-
dren.
While not all our answers may be comfort-
ing, we can share what we truly believe.
Where we have doubts, an honest, “I just
don't know the answer to that one,” may be
more comforting than an explanation that
we do not quite believe. Children usually
sense our doubts. White lies, no matter
how well intended, can create uneasiness
and distrust. Sooner or later, our children
will learn that we are not all knowing. We
can make this discovery easier for them if
we calmly and matter-of-fatly tell them that
we do not have all the answers. Our nonde-
fensive and accepting attitude may also
help them feel better about not knowing
everything.
It may help to tell our children that different
people believe different things about death,
and that not everyone believes as we do.
For example, some believe in an afterlife,
others do not. By indicating our acceptance
and respect for others' beliefs, we make it
easier for our children to choose beliefs dif-
ferent from our own but which are more
comforting to them.
Overcoming the taboos
Death is a taboo subject, and even those
who hold strong beliefs may avoid talking
about it. Once, death was an integral part
of life. People died at home, surrounded by
their loved ones. Adults and children
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experienced death together, mourned
together, and comforted each other.
Today, death is lonelier. Many people die in
hospitals and nursing homes where they
receive the extensive nursing and medical
care they need. Their loved ones have
fewer opportunities to be with them and
often miss sharing their last moments of
life. The living have become isolated from
the dying. Consequently, death has taken
on an added mystery, and, for some, an
added fear.
Many people are beginning to recognize
that treating death as a taboo does a dis-
service to both the dying and the living.
Efforts are under way to increase knowl-
edge and communication about death as a
means of overcoming the taboo.
As part of this effort, the hospice movement
provides for children and adults to die at
home beside their loved ones, pets, and
other favorite things. It may be frightening
for parents to think about a child dying at
home, and by contacting the staff of a local
hospice program, families can obtain the
help and advice they may need.
Children’s perceptions are also being stud-
ied for a better understanding of how they
think about death. Researchers have found
that two factors influence children's concep-
tions of death: their developmental stages
and their experiences (including environ-
ment, prior experiences, ethnic, religious,
and cultural background).
3 Talking to Children about Death
We must realize that death is a natural
ending to the life of every living thing.
The sadness that surrounds dying can best
be handled by caring for one other, either
by providing care to someone who is ill or
by just “being there.”
Developmental stages
Studies show that children go through a
series of stages in their understanding of
death. For example, preschool children
usually see death as reversible, temporary,
and impersonal. Watching cartoon charac-
ters on television miraculously recover after
being crushed or blown apart tends to rein-
force this idea.
Between the ages of 5 and 9, most children
are beginning to realize that death is final
and that all living things die. But they still
do not see death as personal. They harbor
the idea that somehow they can escape
through their own ingenuity. During this
stage, children also tend to personify death.
They may associate death with a skeleton
or with the angel of death. Some children
have nightmares about these images.
From age 9 or 10 through adolescence,
children begin to comprehend fully that
death is irreversible; that all living things die
and that they, too, will die someday. Some
begin to work on developing philosophical
views of life and death. Teenagers often
become intrigued with seeking the meaning
of life. Some adolescents react to their fear
of death by taking unnecessary chances
with their lives. In confronting death, they
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are trying to overcome their fears by con-
firming their “control” over mortality.
The individual experience
While it can be helpful to know that children
go through a series of stages in the way
they perceive death, it is important to
remember that, as in all growth processes,
children develop at individual rates. It is
equally important to keep in mind that all
children experience life uniquely and have
their own ways of expressing and handling
feelings. Some children ask questions
about death as early as age 3. Others may
appear to be unconcerned about the death
of a grandparent, but may react strongly to
the death of a pet. Some may never men-
tion death, but they may act out their fan-
tasies in play. They may pretend that a toy
or pet is dying and express their feelings in
their make-believe game. They may play
“death games” with their friends by taking
turns dying or developing elaborate funeral
rites.
No matter how children cope with death or
express their feelings, they need sympa-
thetic and nonjudgemental responses from
adults. Careful listening and watching may
provide important clues to learn how to
respond appropriately to a child's needs.
The challenge of talking to a young child
Communicating with preschoolers or young
school-age children about any subject can
be challenging. They need brief and simple
explanations. Long lectures or complicated
responses to their questions will probably
4 Talking to Children about Death
bore or confuse them and should be avoid-
ed. Using concrete and familiar examples
may help. For instance, Dr. Earl A.
Grollman suggests in his book, Explaining
Death to Children, that death may be made
more comprehensible by explaining it in
terms of the absence of familiar life func-
tions: when people die they do not breathe,
eat, talk, think, or feel anymore. When dogs
die they do not bark or run anymore; dead
flowers do not grow or bloom anymore.
A child may ask questions immediately or
may respond with thoughtful silence and
come back later to ask more questions.
Each question deserves a simple and rele-
vant answer. Checking to see if a child has
understood what has been said is critical;
youngsters sometimes confuse what they
hear. Also, children learn through repetition,
and they may need to repeat their ques-
tions and hear them answered over and
over again. As time passes and children
have new experiences, they will need fur-
ther clarification and sharing of ideas and
feelings.
It may take time for a child to understand
fully the ramifications of death and its emo-
tional implications. A child who knows that
Uncle Ed has died may still ask why Aunt
Susan is crying. The child needs an
answer. “Aunt Susan is crying because she
is sad that Uncle Ed has died. She misses
him very much. We all feel sad when
someone we care about dies.”
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There are also times when we have difficul-
ty "hearing" what children are asking us. A
question that may seem shockingly insensi-
tive to an adult may be a child's request for
reassurance. For instance, the question,
“When will you die?” needs to be heard
with the realization that the young child per-
ceives death as temporary. While the finali-
ty of death is not fully understood, a child
may realize that death means separation,
and separation from parents and the loss of
care are frightening. Being cared for is a
realistic and practical concern, and a child
needs to be reassured. Possibly the best
way to answer such a question is by asking
a clarifying question in return: “Are you
worried that I won't be here to take care of
you?” If that is the case, the reassuring and
appropriate answer would be something
like this: “I don’t expect to die for a long
time. I expect to be here to take care of you
as long as you need me, but if Mommy and
Daddy died, there would be lots of people
to take care of you. There's Aunt Ellen and
Uncle John, or Grandma.”
Other problems can arise from children's
misperceptions about death. Dr. R. Fulton,
in Grollman's Explaining Death to Children,
points out that some children confuse death
with sleep, particularly if they hear adults
refer to death with one of the many
euphemisms for sleep: "eternal rest," "rest
in peace."As a result of the confusion, a
child may become afraid of going to bed or
taking naps.
5 Talking to Children about Death
Similarly, if children are told that someone
who died “went away,” brief separations
may worry them. Therefore, it is important
to avoid such words as ”sleep,” “rest,” or
“went away” when talking to a child about
death.
Telling children that sickness was the cause
of a death may also create problems if the
truth is not tempered with reassurance.
Preschoolers cannot differentiate between
temporary and fatal illness, and minor ail-
ments may begin to cause them unneces-
sary concern. When talking to a child about
someone who has died as a result of an ill-
ness, it might be helpful to explain that only
a very serious illness may cause death,
and that although we all get sick some-
times, we usually get better again.
Another generalization we often make
unthinkingly is relating death to old age.
Statements as, “Only old people die,” or,
“Aunt Hannah died because she was old,”
can lead to distrust when a child eventually
learns that young people die, too. It might
be better to say something like this: “Aunt
Hannah lived a long time before she died.
Most people do live a long time, but some
don't. I expect you and I will both live a
long time.”
Religion and death
Religion is a prime source of strength and
sustenance to many people when they are
dealing with death. But if religion has not
played an important role in the family's life
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before death, a child may be confused or
frightened by the sudden introduction of
religious explanations or references.
Children tend to hear words literally, and
religious explanations that comfort an adult
may unsettle a child. For example, the
explanation, “Baby brother is with God
now,” or, “It is God's will,” could be fright-
ening rather than reassuring to young chil-
dren who may worry that God might decide
to come and get them just as He did baby
brother.
Also, mixed messages are confusing, and
may deepen apprehensions and misunder-
standings children may have about death.
A calm statement, “He is happy now,” when
coupled with tears may leave children con-
fused. Children look to adults for cues
about how to behave in certain situations.
Regardless of how strong or comforting
religious beliefs may be, death means the
loss of a living being. It is a time of sadness
and mourning. It is important to help chil-
dren accept loss and grief. Attempts to pro-
tect children deny them opportunities to
share their feelings and receive needed
support. Sharing feelings helps. Sharing
religious beliefs also helps if done with sen-
sitivity to how children are perceiving and
understanding what is happening. It is
important to check with them to find out
how they are hearing and seeing events
around them.
6 Talking to Children about Death
Opportunities in daily life
It is usually easier to talk about death when
we are less emotionally involved. Taking
opportunities to talk to children about dead
flowers, trees, insects, or birds may be
helpful. Some young children show intense
curiosity about dead insects and animals.
They may wish to examine them closely, or
they may ask detailed questions about
what happens physically to dead things.
Although this interest may seem repulsive
or morbid to us, it is a way of learning
about death. Children should not be made
to feel guilty or embarrassed about their
curiosity. Their interest may provide an
opportunity to explain, for the first time, that
all living things die and make room for new
living things.
This kind of answer may satisfy for the
moment, or it may lead to questions about
our own mortality. Honest, calm, and simple
answers are called for. If we are talking to a
very young child, we must remember that
only limited amounts of information can be
absorbed at a time. The child may listen
seriously to our answers and skip happily
away saying, “Well, I'm never going to die.”
We should not feel compelled to contradict
the child or think that our efforts have been
wasted. We have made it easier for the
child to come back again when more
answers are needed.
Other opportunities to discuss with children
occur when prominent people die and their
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deaths, funerals, and the public's reactions
receive a lot of media coverage. When the
death is news-worthy, children are bound to
see something about it on television or
hear it mentioned on the radio, in school, or
in our conversations. In any case, it can
rarely be ignored. It is a natural time to give
children needed information or to clarify
any misconceptions they may have about
death.
If the death is violent, a murder or an
assassination, it is probably a good idea to
say something to reassure children about
their safety. The media tend to play up vio-
lence under ordinary circumstances, and
the violent death of a well-known or
admired person may stimulate their fears or
confirm distorted perceptions they may
have had about the dangers around them.
They may become worried that “bad” peo-
ple or that the “bad feelings” in people can-
not be controlled. They may need to hear
that most people act responsibly and do
not go around killing each other, even
though everyone feels bad or angry at
times.
Death in the family
Some children's reactions
Guilt
Some studies have shown that when chil-
dren experience the death of a close rela-
tive, such as a brother, sister, or parent,
they often feel guilty. While most of us
7 Talking to Children about Death
experience some guilt when we lose a
loved one, young children in particular have
difficulty understanding cause-and-effect
relationships. They think that in some way
they caused the death; maybe their angry
thoughts caused the person to die. Some
children may view death as a punishment:
“Mommy died and left me because I was
bad.” Children may be helped to cope with
guilt by reassuring them that they have
always been loved and still are. It may also
help to explain the circumstances of the
death. Children may also feel that they will
die. The idea that death is a form of punish-
ment should never be reinforced. Assure
the child that the recent death does not
mean that other loved ones will die soon.
The child may not know how to behave
after a death. Encourage the child to talk
about feelings and to share them with you,
but do not tell the child what to feel. Help
the child find ways to express caring.
Anger
The death of a close relative also arouses
feelings of anger in both adults and chil-
dren. We feel angry with the person who
died for causing us so much pain and sor-
row or for leaving us alone. We feel angry
at the doctors and nurses who could not
save our loved one, and we feel angry at
ourselves for being unable to prevent the
death.
Children are more apt to express their
anger openly, especially when they have
lost someone upon whom they depended
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for love and care. It is difficult enough to
hear anger directed toward the dead, and
even more so when it is expressed in what
appears to be selfish concerns. But anger
is part of grief, and we can help children by
accepting their feelings and by not scolding
them if they express anger or fear.
Children need to be reassured that they will
be cared for.
Regression
Children may regress into an earlier stage
of development. For example, they may
begin thumb sucking, bed wetting, or need
diapers. Realize that children need support
through this time and that such regressions
are temporary.
Depression and other behavior
problems
Some children turn their anger inward and
become depressed, withdrawn, irritable,
aggressive, or develop physical symptoms.
If this behavior persists over several
months, professional help may be needed.
Remember, though, that each child deals
with death differently. Experts say that 6
months after a significant death in the
child's life, a normal routine should resume.
If these symptoms do not resolve, you
might consider seeking professional advice
(for example, a clergy member, pediatrician,
or social worker).
After a child’s death
The death of a child is particularly tragic
and may create special pitfalls for families.
8 Talking to Children about Death
As parents, we must share our grief with
our surviving children, for they, too, will
have grief to share. But we must try not to
burden them with unrealistic expectations
and concerns. For example, there is a ten-
dency to idealize the dead, and we must
take care not to make comparisons that
could lead to feelings of unworthiness and
increase the guilt of the surviving children.
It is also natural to deal with grief by turning
our attention to the living. It is understand-
able that the loss of a child may lead to too
much worry about the welfare of our other
children. However, we must resist any ten-
dencies to overprotect them or to smother
their efforts to grow independent. We must
encourage them not to over-identify with or
try to replace the lost child. Each child must
feel worthy in his or her own right.
It may be helpful to give children a special
picture of the person who has died. The
picture will help children remember and
may be used later to evoke happy memo-
ries of this person.
Should children visit the dying?
Most fatally ill people are hospitalized, and
hospital rules are changing. Hospital staffs
are beginning to recognize the value of
having children visit. Whether or not a par-
ticular child should visit a dying person
depends on the child, the patient, and the
situation. A child who is old enough to
understand what is happening probably
should be permitted to visit someone who
has played an important role in his or her
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life, providing that both the child and the
dying person wish it.
Under the right circumstances, contact with
the dying can be useful to a youngster. It
may diminish the mystery of death and help
the child develop more realistic ways of
coping. It can open avenues of communica-
tion, reducing the loneliness often felt by
both the living and the dying. The opportu-
nity to bring a moment of happiness to a
dying person might help a child feel useful
and less helpless.
A child who is to visit someone who is dying
needs to be thoroughly prepared for what
will be heard and seen. The condition and
appearance of the patient should be
described, and any sickroom equipment
should be explained in advance. Also, it
may be wise to remind the child that most
hospital patients get well.
If visits are not feasible, telephone calls
may be a handy substitute. The sound of a
child's voice could be good medicine for a
hospitalized relative, provided that the child
wishes to call and the patient is well
enough to receive it. Encouraging a child to
write a note or send a card to the person
who is hospitalized can also help the child
feel less helpless and more connected to
the person who is dying.
Under no circumstances should a child be
coerced or made to feel guilty for choosing
not to call or visit the dying, or if contacts
are brief.
9 Talking to Children about Death
Should children attend funerals?
Funerals serve a valuable function. Every
society has some form of ceremony to help
the living acknowledge, accept, and cope
with the loss of a loved one. Whether or not
a particular child should be included
depends on the child and the situation. If
the child is old enough to understand and
wants to participate, being included may
help the child accept the reality of the death
while in the supportive company of family
and friends.
If a child is to attend a funeral, he or she
should be prepared for what will be seen
and heard before, during, and after the
services. The child should be aware that on
such a sad occasion people will be
expressing their bereavement in various
ways, and that some people will be crying.
If possible, the child should be accompa-
nied by someone who is calm and who can
give serious consideration and answers to
questions. The child should not be coerced
or made to feel guilty about not wanting to
attend the funeral.
Our own feelings and attitudes about the
death and loss are conveyed to the child,
whether we try to camouflage our actual
feelings or not. This transfer of our experi-
ence to our children will occur. This is nor-
mal, usual, and to be expected. You
should consider this when making deci-
sions about funeral participation and how
you prepare your child for what to expect.
Patient Information Publications 10 Talking to Children about Death
Sending children away from home
The loss or impending loss of a close
family member taxes our emotional and
physical reserves to the extreme, and it
becomes difficult to meet everyday respon-
sibilities. It is even more difficult to care
for youngsters, and sometimes we are
tempted to send our children to visit
relatives or friends until we can “pull
ourselves together.” Keeping children at a
distance may also be a way to avoid talking
to them about the death.
Careful consideration should be given
before children are sent away, for this is
when they most need the comfort of famil-
iar surroundings and close contact with
family members. Children need time to
adjust to the loss, and, if feasible, they
should be prepared in advance of the
death. Even young children who do not
understand the full implications of death are
aware that something serious is going on.
Sending them away may increase their
fears about separation from their loved
ones and increase their anxiety. Having
familiar and caring people nearby before
and after the death can reduce fear of
abandonment or other stresses children
may feel.
On the other hand, we do not want to over-
protect them as a way of dealing with our
own anxieties and needs. Children should
be given permission to play with friends or
visit relatives. Children need the freedom to
deal with their own anxieties and needs
just as we must handle our own.
Children also mourn
Mourning is the recognition of a deeply felt
loss and is a process we all must go
through before we are able to pick up
the pieces and to go on living fully and
normally again. Mourning is part of the
healing process. By being open to our sor-
row and tears, we show our children that it
is all right to feel sad and to cry. The
expression of grief should never be equat-
ed with weakness. Our sons as well as
our daughters should be allowed to shed
their tears and express their feelings if
and when they need to.
If the child shows little immediate grief, we
may think the child is unaffected by the
loss. Some mental health experts believe
that children are not mature enough to
work through a deeply felt loss until they
are adolescents. Because of this, they
say, children are apt to express their sad-
ness on and off over a long time and often
at unexpected moments. Other family
members may find it painful to have old
wounds opened again and again. But chil-
dren need patience, understanding, and
support to complete their “grief work.”
In summary
■ Communication about death, as with
all communication, is easier when chil -
dren feel that they have our permission
to talk about the subject and believe
we are sincerely interested in their
Patient Information Publications 11 Talking to Children about Death
views and questions. Encourage them
to communicate by listening attentively,
respecting their views, and answering
their questions honestly.
■ Every child is an individual.
Communication about death depends
on the child's age and experiences. A
very young child may view death as
temporary, and he or she may be more
concerned about separation from loved
ones than about death itself.
■ It is not always easy to “hear” what a
child is really asking. Sometimes it
may be necessary to respond to a
question with a question in order to
understand fully the child's concern.
An example here would be helpful.
For example, “Mommy, will we ever be
happy again?” By responding with,
“Do you think we will ever be happy
again?” the parent can gain a better
sense of the nature and depth of their
child's worries.
■ A very young child can absorb only
limited amounts of information.
Answers need to be brief, simple, and
repeated when necessary.
■ A child often feels guilty and angry
when a close family member is lost.
Parents should reassure the child that
love and care will continue.
■ A child may need to mourn a deeply
felt loss on and off until adolescence.
The child needs support and under-
standing through this grief process and
 permission to show feelings openly
and freely.
■ Whether a child should visit the dying
or attend a funeral depends on the
child's age and ability to understand
the situation, relationship with the
dying or dead person, and, most
important, whether the child wishes to
attend. A child should never be
coerced or made to feel guilty for not
wanting to be involved (or comfortable
viewing a body). A child who is permit-
ted to visit a dying person or attend a
funeral should be prepared in advance
for what will be seen and heard.
■ Our own feelings and attitudes about
death are conveyed to the child,
whether we try to camouflage our
experience or not. How we talk about
and share our experience with the
child may be what he/she remembers
most.
These books and organizations may pro-
vide useful information for people faced
with discussing death with children.
Books for parents
Grollman, E. A., editor. Explaining Death
to Children. Boston: Beacon Press; 1968.
Kubler-Ross, E. On Children and Death.
New York: MacMillan; 1983.
Krulik, T., Holaday, B., Martinson, I.S. The
Child and Family Facing Life-Threatening
Illness. Philadelphia: J.B. Lippincott Co.;
1987.
Patient Information Publications 12 Talking to Children about Death
Lonetto, R. Children’s Conceptions of
Death. New York: Springer; 1980.
Frantz, T.T. When Your Child Has a Life-
Threatening Illness. Washington, D.C.:
Association for the Care of Children’s
Health; 1983.
Books for children
Mellonie, B., and Ingpen, R. Lifetimes:
The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to
Children. New York: Bantam; 1983.
Viorst, J. The Tenth Good Thing about
Barry. New York: MacMillan; 1987.
White, E.B. Charlotte’s Web. New York:
Harper & Row; 1952.
Other books you might want to
consider
Agee, J. A Death in the Family. New York:
Bantam, 1969.Blackburn, L. B. The Class
in Room 44: When a Classmate Dies.
Omaha, NE: Centering Corporation; 1991.
Brack, P; Brack, B. Moms Don't Get Sick.
Aberdeen, SD Melius Publishing, Inc.;
1990.
Braithwaite, A. When Uncle Bob Died.
London: Dinosaur Publications; 1982.
Bratman, F. Everything You Need to Know
When a Parent Dies. New York: Rosen
Group; 1992.
Brenna, B. Year in the Life of Rosie
Bernard. New York: Harper & Row; 1971.
Buscaglia, L. The Fall of Freddie the Leaf.
New Jersey: Charles B. Slack Inc.; 1982.
De Paola, T. A. Nana Upstairs and Nana
Downstairs. New York: Penguin; 1973.
Crawford, C. P. Three-Legged Race. New
York: Harper & Row; 1974.
Draimin, B. H. Coping When a Parent Has
AIDS. New York: Rosen Group; 1993
Fitzgerald, H. The Grieving Teen: A Guide
for Teenagers and Their Friends; 2000
Girard, L. W. Alex, the Kid with AIDS.
Morton Grove, Illinois: Albert Whitman and
Co.; 1991.
Gootman, M. E. When a Friend Dies.
Minneapolis: Free Spirit Publishing; 1994.
Greene, C. C. Beat the Turtle Drum. New
York: Viking; 1976.
Grollman, E. A. Straight Talk About Death
for Teenagers: How to Cope with Losing
Someone You Love, Boston, MA: Beacon
Press; 1993
Hichman, M. Last Week My Brother
Anthony Died. Nashville, TN: Abingdon;
1983.
Holms, C. D. Red Balloons, Fly High!
Warminster, PA: MAR*CO Products, Inc.;
1997.
Johnson J. & Johnson, M. Where's Jess?
Omaha, NE: Centering Corporation; 1982.
Krementz, J. How It Feels When A Parent
Dies. New York: Knopf; 1981.
Patient Information Publications 13 Talking to Children about Death
Lee, V. The Magic Moth. New York:
Seabury Press; 1972.
Linn, E. Children Are Not Paper Dolls: A
Visit with Bereaved Children. Incline
Village, NV: Publishers Mark; 1982.
McNamara, J.W. My Mom is Dying: A
Child's Diary. Minneapolis: Augsburg
Fortress; 1994.
Merrifield,M. Come Sit by Me. Toronto,
Canada:Woman's Press; 1990.
Miles, M. Annie and the Old One. Boston:
Little Brown; 1971.
Mills, J. C. Gentle Willow A Story for
Children about Dying. New York:
Magination Press; 1993.
Peterkin, A. What About Me? When
Brothers and Sisters Get Sick. New York:
Magination Press; 1992.
Powell, E. S. Geranium Morning.
Minneapolis: Carolrhoda Books; 1990.
Richter, E. Losing Someone You Love.
New York: Putnam; 1986.
Rofes, E. The Kids' Book About Death and
Dying. Boston: Little, Brown; 1985.
Sanders, P. Let's Talk About Death and
Dying. London: Aladdin Books; 1990.
Shriver, M. What's Heaven? Golden Books
Publishing Co; 1999.
Sims, A.M. Am I Still a Sister? Slidell,
Louisiana: Big A & Company / Starline
Printing, Inc.; 1986.
Starkman, N. Z's Gift. Seattle: Compassionate Friends
Comprehensive Health Education P.O. Box 3696
Foundation; 1988. Oak Brook, Illinois 60522
708-990-0010
Varley, S. The Badger's Parting Gifts.
Mulberry Books; 1992.
Vigna, J. Saying Goodbye to Daddy.
Morton Grove, Illinois: Albert Whitman and
Acknowledgements
Co., 1991.
This publication was adapted from the
Wiener, L.; Best, A.; Pizzo, P. Be A Friend:
booklet, Caring About Kids: Talking to
Children Who Live With HIV Speak. Morton
Children about Death (DHEW Publication
Grove, Illinois: Albert Whitman and Co.;
No. 79-939) originally produced by the
1994.
National Institute of Mental Health.
Williams, M. The Velveteen Rabbit. Garden
The contributions of reviewers from various
City, NY: Doubleday; 1971.
support groups also helped make this
Zim, H.; Bleeker, S. Life and Death. New booklet more helpful to parents who need
York: Morrow; 1970. to talk to their children about this subject.

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7910 Woodmont Avenue NIH; nor does the fact that a particular
brand name product is not identified
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Patient Information Publications 14 Talking to Children about Death