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CONTENTS
[1] Spiritual keys to successful polygyny
[2] Anthropological and Spritual keys to successful polygyny
[3] Anthropological and sociological keys to successful polygyny
[4] Three critical relationships that must be right for polygyny to work
[4a] The relationship of the co-wives
[4b] The relationships of the half-siblings
[4c] The relationships of the half-siblings with the co-wives of the
family
5] Actual and recent polygynous experiences
[6] Polygyny and pregnancy
[7] Adding wives to the family while retaining the quality of the relationships
[8] A PRIMARY CHRISTIAN GOAL IN BIBLICAL POLYGYNY AND FELLOWSHIP
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Please note that I propose to show you keys to successful "Biblical" polygyny,
not just successful polygyny. This document is most helpful if used along
with my document "Keys To Loving Unity In Poly" where many basic and
practical principles are covered for those who have a "born again in the Spirit
and Jesus" relationship with God. Here I will just deal with the basic principles
for experiencing godly success in your Christian polygyny. The Christian
polygynist needs to believe, recognize and accept the fact that on his/her
own and by his/her own efforts he/she is completely unable to successfully
and daily live the life of a Christian polygynist that Jesus instructs them to
live.
The person who has believed Jesus and what Jesus says in the Bible, and has
called on Him to save them from his/her basic incompatability with God, The
Most High Father, has called on Jesus to save her/him from the penalty,
power and presence of all that is ungodly in her/ his life. Being adopted by
the Father by Jesus, the believer has received the Holy Spirit who enters the
believer and lives the Life of Jesus in the believer as the believer learns to
yield to the Spirit. The believer is not Holy Spirit possessed, but Spirit
secured and Spirit indwelt, with the Spirit able, ready and willing to work and
will in the believer the work and will of God, as the enabled believer turns
over to Jesus her/his body, soul and spirit to be used and worked by God's
Spirit to do the work and will of God. It is a learning process, this yielding to
the Spirit, and to our own hurt and loss we so often take back into our own
hands the reins of our life, getting in Jesus way and to often messing up His
work in and through us. Our hope and confidence is that He who began the
good work in us will complete it in us before we see Jesus again face to face.
***Philippians 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in
you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
***Colossians 1:22 But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body
through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from
accusation—
***Jude 1:24 To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you
before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy—
Now we know that naturally on our own our lives and our polygyny will be
characterized by sexual immorality, impurity, indecency, idolatry, sorcery,
drug abuse, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, bad temper, selfishness,
divisions, dissensions, party spirit, factions, sects with divisive opinions,
heresies, envy, drunkenness, carousing, vainglory, self-conceit,
competitiveness, challenging and provoking and irritating to one another..
(Gal 5:19-21). When Christ comes to Live in us, His Spirit produces "fruit",
the good works to which Jesus has called His own children/disciples. He Lives
in us by His Spirit and since it is His Life, He is the One who has to Live it in
us, producing His fruit in us. The "fruit" He works and wills in us is gentle,
kind, patient, humble, respectful, well behaved, forgiving, enduring,
optimistic, compassionate and hopeful Love; joy, gladness, peace, an even
temper, forbearance, goodness, benevolence, faithfulness, meekness,
humility, self-control, self-restraint and continence. (Gal 5:22-26)
It is His Life and He is the only One who can Live it in you. Here are key
passages that show this principle:
***" [Jesus said] 1 I AM the True Vine, and My Father is the Vinedresser . . . 4
Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you. [Live in Me, and I will live in you.] Just as
no branch can bear fruit of itself without abiding in (being vitally united to)
the vine, NEITHER CAN YOU BEAR FRUIT UNLESS YOU ABIDE IN ME. 5 I am
the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much
(abundant) fruit. However, APART FROM ME [cut off from vital union with
Me] YOU CAN DO NOTHING [good and of eternal value before God]. John 15
***"13. [Not relying on your own strength] for IT IS GOD Who is all the while
effectually AT WORK IN YOU [energizing and creating in you the power and
desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and
delight." Phil 2
***" 20 I have been crucified with Christ [in Him I have shared His
crucifixion]; IT IS NO LONGER I WHO LIVE, BUT CHRIST (THE MESSIAH) IS
LIVING IN ME; and the life I now live in the body I live by faith in (by
adherence to and reliance on and complete trust in) the Son of God, Who
loved me and gave Himself up for me" Gal 2 AB
***"8 For it is by free grace (God's unmerited kindness) that you are saved
(delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ's salvation) through
[your] faith. And this [salvation] is not of yourselves [of your own doing, it
came not through your own striving], but it is the gift of God; 9 Not
because of works [not the fulfillment of the Law's demands], lest any man
should boast. [It is not the result of what anyone can possibly do, so no one
can pride himself in it or take glory to himself.] 10 For we are God's [own]
handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we
may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for
us [God working and willing in us to take paths which He prepared ahead of
time], that we should walk in them [God living, working and willing
in us the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live]." Eph
2 from AB
***"20 Now MAY THE GOD OF PEACE [Who is the Author and the Giver of
peace], . . . 21 STRENGTHEN (COMPLETE, PERFECT) AND MAKE YOU WHAT
YOU OUGHT TO BE AND EQUIP YOU WITH EVERYTHING GOOD THAT YOU MAY
CARRY OUT HIS WILL; [WHILE HE HIMSELF] WORKS IN YOU AND
ACCOMPLISHES THAT WHICH IS PLEASING IN HIS SIGHT, through Jesus Christ
(the Messiah); to Whom be the glory forever and ever (to the ages of the
ages). Amen (so be
it).." Heb 13
Every family and society practicing polygyny must overcome the problem of
how the co-wives get along, and the problem of how the half-siblings get
along. Social Anthropologist Paul Bohannan Ph.D declares that the "most
successful instances are those in which the content of both sets of
relationships is firmly structured and where only a minimum is left for the
individuals playing the roles to work out on a personal basis. A satisfactory
structural relationship to fall back on if the personal relationship fails seems
to be vital.” <SA p. 110>
Marriage in and of itself is not a godly solution. It is a given that vices and
bad behavior can make any marital relationship bad/worse, while virtue and
good behavior can make any marital relationship good/better. A marriage
characterized by "love, joy, peace, unselfish generosity, patience towards
others, kindness, benevolence, good faith, meekness, self-restraint" will be
successful and a blessing to those in it and those who see it, whether it be
polygynous or monogynous. A marriage characterized by “extra-marital sex,
favoritism, partiality, unkindness, impatience, impurity, indecency, idol-
worship, sorcery, drug abuse, enmity, strife, jealousy, outbursts of passion,
intrigues, dissensions, factions, envyings, hard drinking, riotous feasting”
[Gal 5] and bitter selfishness is doomed or Hellish whether it be monogynous
or polygynous. Since these are the natural behaviors of humans, it is no
wonder that so many marriages, monogynous or polygynous, are Hellish or
miserably doomed. A human marriage needs to be redeemed and
transformed by and in Jesus as much as the people who are in it, if it is to
characterized by kind, compassionate and unselfish cherishing Love.
Jesus declares that He who is Love, Truth, Light and Life can Live that Life of
"love, joy, peace, patience towards others, kindness, benevolence, good
faith, meekness, self-restraint" [Gal. 5], impartiality and generous
unselfishness in any person or marriage that is willing to give up their own
life and accept His Life in their lives and marriages. The good news is that
Jesus, who is Eternal Life, offers to Live His Life through and in anyone who
comes to Him relying on and trusting in Him alone to make him/her fit to see
and live with God the Father, the Almighty Most High Consuming Fire (Deut
4:24; Heb 12:28,29, in Heaven and eternity. He can do so because He is God,
who was revealed in a human body and He suffered the death penalty so
that all our sin and failures, which are consumed when exposed to He who is
the Almighty Consuming Fire, may be forgiven justly and removed. It is an
issue of compatability and incompata-bility, seen well in the experience of
Shedrak, Meshak and Abednego in the Book of Daniel. The three were
declared righteous by faith so when they were cast into the fire, they had
been made compatible with the fire and were unhurt. The soldiers that threw
them into the fire, having no faith in Jehovah, were incompa-tible with the
fire and were consumed by the fire. We need to be made compatible with
Him who is the Almighty Consuming Fire, and Jesus is the only One who can
make us acceptable to and compatible with the Father..
Every family and society practicing polygyny must overcome the problem of
how the co-wives get along, and the problem of how the half-siblings get
along. Social Anthropologist Paul Bohannan Ph.D declares that the "most
successful instances are those in which the content of both sets of
relationships is firmly structured and where only a minimum is left for the
individuals playing the roles to work out on a personal basis. A satisfactory
structural relationship to fall back on if the personal relationship fails seems
to be vital.” <SA p. 110>
[4] Three critical relationships that must be right for polygyny to work
Jomo Kenyata and Bohannan agree that there is great importance for
"women in polygynous societies" to each have their own kitchens, rooms
and/or houses/huts, as in the Indian and African models. "When all the
arrangements are completed, he builds a hut next to that of the first wife
and then brings the second wife home.." <4, p. 290>. This is especially
important if there are any conflicts between the co-wives, their separate
dwellings giving each wife a safe conflict-free zone to which she can retreat
or in which she can feel safe and free of harassment. The wealthier the
polygynous family, the larger and more comfortable and further apart their
dwellings. Each co-wife cooks separately, especially after she has children.
The polygynous husband either eats a meal separately with each co-wife, or
he eats the meal with all of them where they pot luck, with each wife
preparing one or more of the parts of the gathered family's meal. <SA p.
107>
Kenyata writes: "In a polygamous homestead the husband has his own hut
(thingira), in which friends and casual visitors are entertained. Each wife has
her own hut where she keeps her personal belongings. The cooking also is
done in it. While collective ownership is a fundamental principle of the family
group, the hut is considered as the private property of the wife and it is
entirely under her control. Each wife is provided with several lots of land" for
gardening <4 p. 290,293> "But the duty of looking after the husband, such
as cleaning his hut, supplying him with firewood, water, food, etc., is shared
by all, in turn." <4, p.292>
Kenyatta continues: "Each wife is held responsible for what she produces
from the land and can distribute it as she pleases, provided that she has
reserved enough food for the use of herself and family until the next
harvest."<4 p. 291>. In the Christian family, 2 Cor 8 & 9 would be the
guiding principle in the distribution of the income/crops. "While the division
of personal property exist between the wives, the husband is the head of the
family and the one who contributes his labor power to all equally; he belongs
to all and all belong to him. This brings the division [of personal property] to
one collective ownership under his guidance." <4 p. 291>
Bohannan indicated that for a polygynous family to work well there had to be
positive or at least constructive relationships between the co-wives.
Expectations of wives, co-wives and husbands need to be clearly stated and
understood well by all involved. There is a need for clearly understood
boundaries, turf, duties and obligations to prevent misunderstandings and
conflicts. A wife is considered a good wife if she abides by and fulfills the
"rules" of the family. [Bohannan p. 106] The Christian polygynous family can
be very successful if they all accept and agree to Jesus' rules for their
interaction and relationships.
When polygyny works, the women develop a set of wife rules that become
the norm for the family. If a wife lives up to the wife rules, she is esteemed
as a good wife, usually whether or not she is liked by the other wife/wives.
The relationship between the poly wives of one husband are commonly
characterized by hostility, or cooperation, friendliness or a combination of
these.<SB p. 106> It is important to note that hostility, jealousy,
cooperation or friendliness or a combination of these characterize most
monogynous marriages, especially if there are children involved.
Of primary importance is the fact that polygynous co-wives usually are NOT
jealous if they have a good, devoted, impartial, fair, and just husband,
treating all his wives equitably/equally in the matters "considered important
by them." It is a wise polygynous husband who finds out what matters are
"considered important by them", and acts accordingly. Secondly, the division
of labor supports good and effective polygyny, because the wives are aware
that their burdens are lightened when shared with others committed to the
family. Thirdly, especially in Africa, it is believed that a woman should not
have another child until her last is weaned, usually two years of age.<SB
p.107>
One of the most divisive forces to attack a polygynous marriage is when the
husband’s children by one wife are in adolescent conflict with the children of
another of his wives. This conflict can seriously alienate wives, and even
drive some to leave the marriage and return to their parents’ people. It is for
this reason that when polygynous children become adolescents that they
begin to find work that supplements the family income enabling them and
their mother to get a larger area at a greater distance from the adolescent
children of the other wives. Harmony among the co-wives is far more
important than harmony among the half-siblings. The more personalities in
the mix the more difficult it is to maintain the families’ harmony.<SA
p.109ff> Even though the husband and wife/wives may have been renewed
in Christ when they married, there is no guarantee that they will have godly
children.
Adam and Eve had Cain. David had Absalom. Israel had 10 sons that
betrayed and sold their brother. The sons of Samuel were a mess. So since
some of the children might be unsaved and under the harmful and disruptive
influence of the evil spirits (Eph 2:1,2), their own natural minds, their body
and its hormones, it wisest for a poly wife to live and raise her school age
kids away from the school age kids of the other wives. As proposed in my
document, "USAUrbanBlueCollarPolygyny..htm", each wife should live out of
walking range of each other, preferably in different communities, suburbs,
town or etc. so that there kids will go to different schools. All the kids and
wives would be together for the weekly family outing/picnic and potluck
meal, preferably at a place where they could be hassle free form outsiders.
[4c] The relationships of the half-siblings with the co-wives of the
family
The Mormon Kody Brown and his four wives have brought the media
spotlight on modern polygyny in America. To avoid prosecution for bigamy,
Kody has one legal wife, Meri. His other three "wives by private covenant"
are Janelle, Christine and Robyn. Each wife has her own "apartment" all of
which are next to each other. Each has her own bedrooms (for her and her
kids), bathroom, kitchen and living room. The public has been enabled to see
a large (16 kids) "family" that is characterized by very positive relationships,
good will, friendliness, cooperation, humor and fun. They decided to go
public with their polygyny with the hope that it might make the future of
their children better. It has resulted in present suffering and hardship
because of the harrassment and intimidation by the media and local law
enforcement. It has become so unpleasant and threatening that they have
fled from Utah to Nevada.
http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/sister-wives/
http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/sister-wives-tour-the-brown-family-home.html
http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/sister-wives-meet-kody-the-wives.html
Jai took a second wife in 1932, several years later. She was
petite, delicate, wore make up and had her hair styled in a
modern style and spoke excellent English. Her dress and her
quarters were as modern as any house or apartment in
England. While his senior wife talked with and hosted the older
ladies, his modern second wife hosted the younger ladies in a
thoroughly modern and European manner. The two Maharanis
often hosted zenana parties and social events for the European
ladies of society. Devi was only 14 at the time but already madly
in love with Jai. [APR, pp 104ff]
President FDR's "poly family" with Eleanor and Missy <2> followed the
needed patterns above and even exceeded them. Around 1920 Eleanor
picked Missy to help FDR with his correspondence even though she knew
that Missy resembled FDR's former lover. Missy always was grateful and
respectful to Eleanor. She became indispensable when FDR came down
with polio and Eleanor began to do his travel and public relations for him.
Missy became "surrogate wife" in Eleanor's absence she supervised the
house, the domestic duties, acted as hostess, and paid the bills. As
"surrogate wife" she supervised the children and gave them their
allowances, and they adored her.<2> pp.298ff
As to the three critical relationships that must be right for polygyny to work,
the relationship of the Eleanor and Missy was warm, devoted and friendly -
gladly sharing the love and company of their FDR. Since Missy never had
children by FDR, his children became her children, who
adored her, and there was no half-sibling rivalry. <2> p. 301
Each of my three ladies live in separate towns, but since there kids grew up
without being polygynous, all the wives and kids don't socialize together,
since most of the grown kids strongly disapprove of their polygyny. Because
of their culture, society, church or family many must experience
their polygyny privately and discretely in a very personal way before God.
It's a 1 Cor 10 and Romans 14 issue, here paraphrased for application:
***"19 So let us then definitely aim for and eagerly pursue what makes for
harmony and for mutual upbuilding (edification and development) of one
another. 20 You must not, for the sake of [polygyny], undo and break down
and destroy the work of God! Everything is indeed [ceremonially] clean and
pure, but it is wrong for anyone to hurt the conscience of others or to make
them fall by what [form of marriage he is in]. 21 The right thing is to eat no
meat or drink no wine [at all], or [be openly polygynous] if it makes your
brother stumble or hurts his conscience or offends or weakens him. 22 Your
personal convictions [on polygyny] -- exercise [them] as in God's presence,
keeping them to yourself [discretely and privately]. Blessed (happy, to be
envied) is he/she who has no reason to judge her/himself for what [form of
marriage] she/he approves [who does not convict himself of sin by what
he/she chooses to do]. 23 But the person who has doubts (misgivings, an
uneasy conscience) about eating [something or polygyny], and then eats [it
or is polygynous], stands condemned [before God], because he/she is not
true to her/his convictions and she/he does not act from faith [based on the
Word of God]. For whatever does not originate and proceed from faith
[based on the Word of God] is sin [i.e. whatever is done without a conviction
of its approval by God is sinful]."
We Christian polygynists are required to teach and preach the whole counsel
of God, like Paul (Acts 20:27), including polygyny, but we are bound by the
Word of God never to argue, quarrel, debate
***"1 AS FOR the man who is a weak believer, welcome him [into your
fellowship], but not to criticize his opinions or pass judgment on his scruples
or perplex him with discussions." Rom 14:1 AB
***"24 And the servant of the Lord must not be quarrelsome (fighting and
contending). Instead, he must be kindly to everyone and mild-tempered
[preserving the bond of peace]; he must be a skilled and suitable teacher,
patient and forbearing and willing to suffer wrong. 25 He must correct his
opponents with courtesy and gentleness, in the hope that God may grant
that they will repent and come to know the Truth [that they will perceive and
recognize and become accurately acquainted with and acknowledge it], 26
And that they may come to their senses [and] escape out of the snare of the
devil, having been held captive by him, [henceforth] to do His [God's] will." 2
Tim 2 AB
Among the Tiv, during pregnancy's last months, the co-wife takes over all
the pregnant wife's duties (farming, cooking etc.), assists the midwife in the
birth, and assists of the new mother for weeks after the birth. Conflict would
deny all these benefits from the co-wives, so it is avoided. However if the co-
wife doesn't live up to the rules of the family, she becomes the object of
verbal fights and arguments because she is being a bad co-wife, not because
she IS a co-wife. <SA p. 106>
Usually when a woman becomes pregnant again she stops lactating, so the
baby needs to weaned before she becomes pregnant again. The co-wife who
has just given birth doesn't have to worry about getting pregnant by her
husband because his other wife/wives meet his sexual needs, while her
husband continues to have non coital sex with her. To make this work
it usually takes two or three wives because when wife A gives birth and
starts breast feeding her new born, the husband is having coital sex with
wife B even after she becomes pregnant. When wife B gives birth, wife A is in
her 9th+ month of nursing, so while wives A & B are nursing and having non
coital sex with him, he is having coital sex with wife C. If there is no wife C,
he resumes coital sex with wife A, while wife B takes over the breast feeding
of wife A's baby and her own baby. A third wife is a blessing to the family
when either wife A or wife B is unable to breast feed.
Breast feeding each others' children bonds the wives to each other's
children, and the children to each of the wives. This is extremely important in
the relationship of the co-wives and their children. The babies get two
overlapping sets of antibodies from each mother during the breast feeding.
The babies have no lack of mother milk. The husband’s wives have no lack of
coitus and children. The burden falls on the husband to provide non coital
sex while the mothers are lactating, but with his good foreplay/massaging,
his oral stimulation of her nipples with his digital stimulation of her clitoris,
vagina and G spot, the non coital wives have no lack of orgasms and ecstasy.
The women take turns having coitus and breast feeding each other's
children. Remember that condoms have a 12% failure rate in preventing
pregnancy and cannot be relied upon to prevent pregnancy. With three
wives each wife could, in turn be available for marital sex for 9 months and
at least 18 months free from sex for breast feeding. If there were four wives,
each wife could be free, in turn, from sex for 27 months of breast feeding.
Another related need for co-wives in primitive societies is the female death
rate in giving birth. It was all to frequent that a tribal mother would die in
child birth and a co-wife would have to "adopt" the orphaned child. It is noted
that “boys die more readily in childhood and early adulthood than do girls.”
<SA p. 109> The average male would die in his 40s, while the average
female would die in her 30s. With men not marrying until their mid-twenties
by which time they could support a family, many had died off from illnesses,
war, hunting accidents etc. With women marrying from age 15 on, many died
while giving birth, from illnesses etc. So even though the society had the
same number of males and females being born, by the age 25 there were
more marriageable women than marriageable men. <SA p.109>
[7] Adding wives to the family while retaining the quality of the relationships
Bohannan declares that he has known and known of tribal wives "who made
the initial arrangements for a congenial girl and brought her home to be her
husband's new wife because they wanted the companion-ship and help of a
good co-wife." He declares that the wisest polygynist husbands let his
wife/wives have a big say in the taking of a new wife, "for no matter how
much a woman likes a man, she is not likely to stay with him if she does not
like his other women." If she finds herself in the midst of a congenial group of
co-wives, "she may put up with a lot from a husband" and stay in the
marriage. <SA p.107>
Kenya's famous Jomo Kenyata asserts that soon after giving birth, a
polygynist's wife will begin to encourage him to have another wife, "a
companion (moiru)" for her. This "companion" wife would free her from daily
chores so she can spend more time caring for the baby. The companion wife
would help with the groceries, entertaining guests, gardening and of course
give the first wife freedom from her husband's sexual advances and
aspirations. <4, p 289ff>
Jomo Kenyata <3 & 4> wrote that among the Gikuyu a man "may have as
many wives as he can support" <4, p 288> and his tribe encouraged this,
believing "that the larger the family is the happier it will be." <4, p. 289)
Love of wives and love of children encouraged the polygyny. The hard facts
were that there was an average of two wives to every family <4, p.. 290>.
Of course the more wives he has, the less the quality or content of the
relationships, both with the wives as well as with the children. ". . . the
husband is the head of the family and the one who contributes his [sexual]
labor power to all equally; he belongs to all and all belong to him." <4 p.
291> This belonging is found in the Bible in 1 Cor 7:
***"3 to the wife the husband should render the due benevolence, and in
like
manner also the wife [should render the due benevolence] to the husband; 4
the wife does not have [sexual] authority over her own body, but the
husband [has that authority]; and, in like manner also, the husband does not
have [sexual] authority over his own body, but the wife [has that authority]..
The quality of the intimate, marital and sexual content of the marital
relationship is given structure and content by God Himself.
***" Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life
which He has given you under the sun--all the days of futility. For that is your
portion in this life and in your work at which you toil under the sun." Eccles
9:9
***"18 Your fountain/genital should be blessed, and take pleasure in the wife
of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful fawn- her breasts should always
satisfy you; lose yourself in her loving forever. 20 Why, my son, would you
be infatuated with a forbidden woman or embrace the breast of one who
doesn't belong to you? Prov 5 from HB
***"2 But because of sexual immorality, each man should be [sexually]
having his own wife, and each woman should be [sexually] having her own
husband. 3 A husband should fulfill his marital duty [Ex 21:10] to his wife,
and likewise a wife to her husband. 4 A wife does not have [sexual] authority
over her own body, but her husband does. Equally, a husband does not have
[sexual] authority over his own body, but his wife does. 5 Do not [sexually]
deprive one another— except when you agree, for a time, to devote
yourselves to fasting prayer. Then come together again [sexually];
otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control." 1 Cor
7 HB
If he were young enough, strong enough and brave enough, Sam might take
on another wife, Abigail. Hopefully he would have had enough sense to let
Beulah and Safronia pick Abigail, or at least to make sure they could get
along with her when together and have enough respect for each other to
live together harmoniously. At this point, if he is a blue collar worker, or
in the lower middle class, he would either have to make every effort to
be alone and intimate with Abigail from 6 to 7 each evening after a quick
meal, or he would have to scale back his work to 75% time, so that he can
have quality and intimate time with each wife.
The co-wives not having "intimate alone time" with Sam would be
watching the kids, including Abigail's kids. This means that when
Abigail becomes a member of the family, the one with the youngest
children stays home with the kids and home schools them while the
rest of the adults and children over 16 work for pay to help support the
family. The children under 16 would help with the care of the children
at home, with the home schooling and with the chores of the house.
Sam, Abigail, Beulah and Safronia would need to be agreed as to the
“rules and structure” of the family, and how to resolve conflicts, using
Jesus' guidelines given in Gal 6:1; 2 Tim 2:24-26; and Matt 18:15-17.
Abigal, Beulah and Safronia would each need to have their own dwelling,
for cooking, living and sleeping. Please see my file “Urban Middle Class
Poly in a Poly Hostile Society” for more details on the economics and
logistics of such Biblical polygyny in modern and western societies/cultures.
We know that today the word regulating the official and public practice of polygyny in
America is the Word in Romans 13, where we in America are instructed to obey the laws of
the land, America, As St. Augustine said, where the law prohibits the public and official
practice of polygyny, it would be a sin, the sin of disobedience, for a child of God to publicly
and officially practice polygyny. In countries where the public and official practice of
polygyny is legal, polygynists are still bound to observe the Word in Romans 14, here
paraphrased for application:
'1As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions, over
doubtful issues. . . . 13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but
rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. 14 I know
and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for
anyone who thinks it unclean. 15 For if your brother is grieved by [your polygyny you] are
no longer walking in love. By what you [do], do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. 16
So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not
a matter of [monogyny or polygyny] but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy
Spirit. 18 Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. 19 So then
let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. 20 Do not, for the sake of
[polygyny], destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone
to make another stumble by what he [does]. 21 It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do
anything [including polygyny] that causes your brother to stumble. 22 The faith/conviction
that you have [about living in polygyny], keep between yourself and God [privately and
discretely]. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he
approves. 23 But whoever has doubts [about what he does] is condemned if he [does it],
because the [doing] is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.
15:15: 1 Now we who are strong have an obligation to bear the weaknesses of those without
strength, and not to please ourselves. 2 Each one of us must please his neighbor for his
good, in order to build him up.
Another Word regulating the practice of polygyny is 1 Cor 10, again paraphrased for
application:
'23 "All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all
things build up. 24 No one should seek his own benefit, but the benefit of his neighbor. 25
[Practice any legal form of marriage you wish] without raising any question on the ground of
conscience. . . . 27 If one of the unbelievers invites you to [a public and official polygynous
wedding] and you are disposed to go, [partake in the event] without raising any question on
the ground of conscience. 28 But if someone says to you, “[The public and official practice of
polygyny is illegal here],” then do not [attend] it, for the sake of the one who informed you,
and for the sake of conscience— 29 I do not mean your conscience, but his. For why should
my liberty be determined by someone else’s conscience? 30 If I partake with thankfulness,
why am I denounced because of that for which I give thanks?
31 So, whether you [practice monogyny or polygyny], or whatever you do, do all to the glory
of God. 32 Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, 33 just as I try to
please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that
they may be saved.'
<1> & APR: A Princess Remembers, The Memoirs of the Maharani of Jaipur, by G.
Devi of Jaipur and S. R. Rau; 1976; J.B. Lippincott Co., NY. ; ISBN-0-397-01103-2
<2> Three in Love, Ménages á trois from ancient times to modern times;
by B. Foster, M. Foster, L. Hadady; HarperCollins;
<3> Facing Mount Kenya, Marriage System, by Kenya's Jomo Kenyata, Chap 8;
Secker & Warburg, London 1938 pp. 163-185
http://meetup.com/SanDiegoChristianPolygyny - - - - - - - - - 17
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Poly_Polygamy_Polygny_And_Jesus
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxBiblicalMarriagePolygamy
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyPolygamyPolygnyNJesus
http://groups.google.com/group/BiblicalChristianPolygamyPolygyny
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxBiblicalMarriagePolygamy2
http://community.eons.com/groups/group/women-sharing-one-man-maritally
http://groups.myspace.com/BiblicalChristianPoly
http://american-christian-polygynists.ning.com/
http://christianpatriarchs.ning.com/group/californiapolygynouspatriarchs
http://biblicalmarriagepolygyny.yuku.com/directory
http://polyfamilies.ning.com/profile/RTyler
http://biblicalchristianpolygyny.blogspot.com/
http://worldpolyamoryassociation.ning.com/group/biblical_christian_polygyny_polygamy
http://www.oldservant.u.yuku.com
http://www.kirkal.com/view_group.php?group_id=441
http://religiousfreedomofspeech.ning.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LynnAndLossRecovery
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyOption4ChristiansWithSTDs/
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christian_polygyny/ - - - 39
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christian_polygamy/ - - - 48
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christianpoly/ - - - small poly group for those who need privacy
in their poly - request membership at elkanahtyler@gmail.com
The Eternal Father of Love gave His only Son born of woman to die for
your failures so that you do not have to be lost to Death but can Live
with Jesus forever, by trusting Jesus alone to save you from Death and
failure and make you right to Live with the Eternal Father of Love
forever. Abortion is the murderous shedding of innocent blood. Neither
racists, nor bigots, nor those who enjoy pornography, nor those who
have sexual relations outside of their own marriage, nor catamites nor
homosexuals shall inherit Jesus' Kingdom, according to Ac17:26; 1Jn2&3
Rom1;1Co6;Is59:7;Ez23; Rev 21; Rev 22
Keys2SuccessfulBiblicalPoly