The Art of Dominance

1. Why do we call it an art form?

a. Like any skill, it can be learned
b. The more practiced, the greater the skill

2. What is a Dominant?
a. Someone who controls a relationship
b. Someone who controls a scene

3. “Natural” Dominant vs “Learned” Dominant

a. Role vs personality
b. Few ‘naturals”
c. Doesn’t matter how you get there

4. Definition of Dominate. ( dictionary.com)

a. To rule over; govern; control
b. To tower above, overlook, overshadow
c. To exert a commanding, supreme influence

5. Definition of Domineer (dictionary.com)

a. To rule or control arrogantly, tyrannize
b. Exercise power in a cruel or autocratic manner

6. Dominate vs Domineer
a. Many try to Dominate by being Domineering
b. Consent/Willingness of bottom/sub

7. Domination vs Topping
a. Control of the person/scene
b. Who makes the decisions of what, when, how?
8. Dominant Bottom?
a. I want this and that

9. Dominant Masochist?
a. Please hurt me like that and this hard

10. Bottoming from the Top?

a. What would you like now?

11. Number 1 Role of the Dominant?

a. To convince another person to submit
1. Seduction- psychological
2. Force- physical
3. Barter- Either

12. Tools of Domination

a. Confidence- or the appearance of
b. Verbal Skills- strong sentences, I want, you need
c. Clothes - portray authority, fetish, visual clue
d. Toys- restraints, enforcement

13. Exercises to improve your Dominant skills

a. Stature- stand tall, regal
b. Attitude- confidence is everything, believe that you can
c. Facial expressions- gaze, stare, glare, raise an eyebrow
d. Verbal skill- “I want, you need”, “it would please Me…”
e. Proximity- sub/ bottom kneeling, Dominant always higher
f. Accentuate Role- bottom/sub naked, Dominant clothed
g. Clothes- wear what makes you feel strong, confident, in charge

14. Practice makes perfect

15. Fake it till you make it

 Increasing your Submissive Skills

1. Definition of Submission
a. an act or instance of submitting
b. the condition of having submitted
c. submissive conduct or attitude

2. The “TRUE” Submissive

a. natural inclination
b. learned responses/actions

3. Submission vs. bottoming vs. masochism

a. May all be present or only one
b. Submission- act, condition, attitude
c. Bottoming- the role of having something done to you
d. Masochist- finds infliction of pain to be desirable/pleasurable

4. Training
a. Stop waiting to be trained
b. Training begins as an inside job
c. Become the person that you would want to Dominate

5. Mind, Body, Spirit

a. All the above must be readied and trained
b. When you are in a D/s relationship, then adjust
6. Mind
a. Etiquette- learn your manners
b. Discover what you like
c. Learn the skills that you want to offer

7. Body
a. Image is important, look good
b. Cleanliness is essential
c. Prepare your body for the things that you like

8. Spirit
a. Discover your motivation
b. Learn ‘your” mantra
c. Clean up your wreckage

9. Big fat “no-no’s

a. Waiting for a Domme/Dom to make your life better
b. Expecting a Domme/Dom to be perfect
c. Thinking any Domme/Dom will do
d. Hoping that a Domme/Dom will control all of the things about
yourself that you don’t like or can’t control
e. Using D/s, S/m to work through your childhood issues

10.Rituals
a. Establish rituals for yourself
i. Verbal
ii. Physical
iii. Spiritual

11.Only you can make you the best submissive

a. Work at it
b. Play at it