UNIVERSITATEA BUCUREŞTI

FACULTATEA DE LIMBI ŞI LITERATURI STRĂINE

LUCRARE DE DIPLOMĂ

STUDENT, COORDONATOR,

IULIA LAZĂR CONF.DR. MIHAI STROE

2010
Singurătatea alergătorului de cursă
lungă
de Alan Sillitoe

Traducerea: Iulia Lazăr

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 CONTENTS

Foreword……………………………………. 4
Chapter 1……………………………………. 5
Chapter 2……………………………………. 17
Chapter 3……………………………………. 24
Afterword…………………………………… 79
Bibliography………………………………… 81
Declaraţie……………………………………. 84

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 Foreword

When I first read Sillitoe’s story I was in Spain having to do a paper on the Angry Young Men
Movement. And now, a few years later, when I had to choose a text for my graduation paper I
immediately thought about The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner because it is an intresting
piece of writing that has never been translated into Romanian. What convinced me to choose this text
over others was the subversive subject Sillitoe tackles and also the vernacular, the speech of the
working-class in Nottingham, he uses extensively in the short story. The colloquialisms, the slang terms,
the idioms, the expressions Sillitoe so craftly uses assured me that translating this particular text was
worth while.
I have structured my paper as follows: in Chapter one I first made a short biografy of Alan
Sillitoe, I’ve discussed his relation to the Angry Young Movement, I contextualized this literary
movement, then I went on talking about the critical reception of The Loneliness of the Long Distance
Runner, and finished the chapter with my own interpetation of the short story. In Chapter 2 I’ve
discussed translation studies’ evolution, making an outline of the theories which appeared over the
years on the subject and I concluded this chapter with the examination of my translation into
Romanian and the difficulties I have encounterd while translating. Chapter 3 contains Sillitoe’short
story and my translation in Romanian.
Translating The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner was certainly a challenge, which I
hope I’ve managed to meet honourably and as Benjamin’s suggested, I hope I succeeded in providing
“an afterlife” for Sillitoe’s work.

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 CHAPTER 1

Allan Sillitoe’s Biography

English novelist, children's book writer, playwright and social critic, compared to D.H.Lawrence,
who also came from Nottingham, Alan Sillitoe is generally grouped among the "angry young men" of the
1950s, with John Osborne, John Braine, John Wain, Arnold Wesker, and Kingsley Amis. He introduced in
the post-World War II British fiction realistically portrayed working-class heroes, but his range as a writer
has since widened. Sillitoe has published more than fifty books over the last forty years, as well as more
than four hundred essays. Best known for his novels, Sillitoe also published children's books (starring a cat
called Marmelade Jim), poetry, plays, and an autobiography, Life without Armour (1995).
Alan Sillitoe was born on 4 March 1928 in Nottingham, England the second son of an illiterate
tannery laborer. His father, Christopher Sillitoe, became one of the long-term unemployed during the
1930s Depression. On different occasions he worked as a house painter. Once he was imprisoned for
"running up bills for food that he had no hope of paying." Sillitoe's mother, Silvina (Burton) worked in a
lace factory. "We lived in a room on Talbot Street whose four walls smelled of leaking gas, stale fat, and
layers of mouldering wall-paper," Sillitoe once recalled.
Sillitoe's childhood was shadowed by the financial problems of the family, but he also found early
on the joys of literature and began to plan his career as a writer.
His first literary effort, based on the wild lives of his cousins, was burned by his mother because she
believed it brought the family into disrepute, being too revealing. At the age of 14, he left school and
worked in a number of jobs in Nottingham factories, including a bicycle factory from 1942 to 1946. By the
time he was 16, Sillitoe was a lathe-operator in a factory and a socialist. "I found it impossible to work in a
factory without believing that socialism was the ultimate solution for all life on this planet" he said. He
joined the Royal Air Force, where he was a wireless operator in what was then Malaya. But he became ill
with tuberculosis and was confined to hospital for 18 months in an RAF hospital, during which time he
began to write again and read intensively. Pensioned off at 21 on 45 shillings per week he traveled to
France and Spain where he lived for seven years in an attempt to recover.
In 1951 he met an American poet, Ruth Fainlight, who was married, but they decided to go abroad
together. From 1952 to 1958 they lived in France, Italy and Spain − largely on Sillitoe's air force pension.
In 1956 on the island of Mallorca he showed his work to the great poet, Robert Graves who encouraged
him saying 'Write about what you know'. Sillitoe began writing his first novel, Saturday Night and Sunday
Morning (1958), a story about working-class life in Nottingham. Influenced in part by the stripped-down
prose of Hemingway, the book conveys the attitudes and situation of a young factory worker faced with the
inevitable end of his youthful philandering. Arthur Seaton lives for the weekends, drinking beer in the pub
and chasing a girl. Saturday night is "the best and bingiest glad-time of the week, one of the fifty-two

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holidays in the slow-turning Big Wheel of the year, a violent preamble to a prostate Sabbath." At the outset
he declares that “all the rest is propaganda”. As an anti-social hero, Arthur had many similarities with the
characters found in the works of John Braine and Stan Barstow. As with John Osborne's Look Back in
Anger and John Braine's Room at the Top, the novel's real subject was the disillusionment of postwar
Britain, and the lack of opportunities for the working class. Sillitoe's realism was striking to 1950s readers
and the novel achieved huge critical success. The novel was awarded the Author's Club First Novel Award
and was made into a film in 1960 by Karel Reisz, adapted as a stage play in 1964, and translated into 19
languages.
Only one year later, Sillitoe was again the center of critical attention, this time for "The Loneliness
of the Long-Distance Runner" (1959) a collection of stories which was awarded the Hawthornden Prize.
The title tale is narrated by a rebellious and angry Borstal boy, Colin Smith, set to run in a race. The
institute's governor has high hopes that his protegé will be a winner, but the rebellious runner finds an
opportunity to show his defiance of authority, by losing the race on purpose. Tony Richardson's film
version of the book, starring Tom Courtenay, drew on the emerging youth culture and the 'Free Cinema'
movement. One script-reader commented on Sillitoe's screenplay before the filming started: "But this story
is blatant and very trying Communist propaganda, and particularly worrying for us because the hero is a
thief and yet is held up to the admiration of silly young thugs. If the leading citizens of Nottingham didn't
like Saturday Night because they thought the hero was not a good representative of that city, I don't know
what they will say about this epic." Although he has since written numerous novels and short stories, as
well as poems and plays, Sillitoe has almost always been evaluated in terms of these first two works.
He moved in his later works beyond this lower-class milieu towards analysis of the psychological
states of his characters. In the autobiographical Raw Material (1972) he portrayed his grandparents, and
examines working-class attitudes to the First World War and the Depression; A Start in Life leaves the
protagonist peacefully cultivating his garden, bemused by a prophecy that he will go wild again at thirty-
five. His other novels include the trilogy The Death of William Posters (1965), A Tree on Fire (1967), and
The Flame of Life (1974); A Start in Life (1970) and its sequel Life Goes On (1985);The Widower's Son
(1976); The Broken Chariot (1998); and The German Numbers Woman (1999), the story of a blind war
veteran. Alan Sillitoe's short story collections include The Ragman's Daughter (1963), Men Women and
Children (1973), Collected Stories (1995) and Alligator Playground (1998).
In 1959 Sillitoe married Ruth Fainlight; they had a son and adopted a daughter. The Rats and
Other Poems (1960) was Sillitoe's first published book of verse. "I have always regarded myself as a poet
before novelist," Sillotoe once said, but he met little critical success for his poetry. In 1963 Sillitoe spent a
month in the Soviet Union, recording his impressions in Road to Volgograd (1964). Three years later he
drove in his car from Harwich to Leningrad. Sillitoe made several trips to the Soviet Union, where he was
viewed as a spokesman for the oppressed working classes. However, Sillitoe's stand against the oppression
of free speech annoyed the authorities.

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 He also published several volumes of poetry, including Poems (1971), with Ted Hughes and Ruth
Fainlight, Storm and Other Poems (1974) and Barbarians and Other Poems (1973). As well as adapting
his own novels for film he also wrote the screenplay to Che Guevara (1968), and wrote stage and
television plays. The City Adventures of Marmalade Jim (1967) was the first of several books for children,
and he also wrote a collection of autobiographical and critical essays, Mountains and Caverns: Selected
Essays (1975), several travel books, including The Saxon Shore Way (1983), and a volume of
autobiography, Life without Armour (1995).
Alan Sillitoe was Visiting Professor of English at Leicester de Montfort University (1994-7), a
Fellow of the Royal Geographical Society and held an honorary fellowship from Manchester Polytechnic
(1977). He was also awarded honorary doctorates by Nottingham Polytechnic (1990), Nottingham
University (1994) and De Montfort University (1998).
Mostly he lived with his family in London, but also spent time in France, Tangier, Spain, and
Israel. On 25 April 2010 Sillitoe died at Charing Cross Hospital in London after a long battle with cancer.
He was 82.
Critics have often labeled Sillitoe as one of the "Angry Young Men" of 1950s and 1960s Britain.
He disliked the tag, like most of the other writers to whom it was applied. Some critics, like Allen R.
Penner thought that "Sillitoe was never, really, simply an 'angry young man.’ His hostility was not a
transitory emotion of youth, but a permanent rancor well grounded in class hatred. The Loneliness of the
Long-Distance Runner’ contains the seeds of the revolutionary philosophy which would eventually attain
full growth in his works. (Thomson Gale)
Other critics have not been so quick to dismiss Sillitoe's connections to the Angry Young Men.
Champlin remarked that Sillitoe's emergence was "a sharp signaling of an end to quiet acceptance of the
way things are. It was a protest, fueled by the war, against the stratified status quo. . . . Unlike some of
Britain's angry young men who have matured and prospered into more conservative postures, Sillitoe
remains the poet of the anonymous millions in the council flats and the cold-water attached houses, noting
the ignored, remembering the half-forgotten.” (Thomson Gale)
The Angry Young Men is a journalistic term applied to a loose group of British writers who
emerged in the 1950s after the creative hiatus that followed World War II. They revolted against the
prevailing class distinction, and ‘good taste’; they expressed scorn and disaffection with the established
sociopolitical order of Britain. Their impatience and resentment were especially aroused by what they
perceived as the hypocrisy and mediocrity of the upper and middle classes.
As a catchphrase, the term was applied to a large, incoherently defined group, and was rejected by
most of the writers to whom it was applied; see for instance "Answer to a Letter from Joe" by John Wain
(Essays on Literature and Ideas, 1963) or Alan Sillitoe’s response. The term was derived from
autobiography of Leslie Paul, founder of the Woodcraft Folk, whose "Angry Young Man" was published

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in 1951. Some commentators, following publisher Tom Maschler, who edited a collection of
political-literary essays by the "Angries" (Declaration, 1957), divided them into three groups:

1. The New University Wits (a term applied by William Van O'Connor in his 1963 study The New
University Wits and the End of Modernism), Oxbridge malcontents who explored the contrast
between their upper-class university privilege and their middle-class upbringings. They included
Kingsley Amis, Philip Larkin, and John Wain, all of whom were also part of the poetic circle
known as The Movement.
2. Writers mostly of lower-class origin concerned with their political and economic aspirations.
Some of these were left-wing and some were right-wing. They included John Osborne (whose play
Look Back in Anger is a basic "Angries" text), Harold Pinter, John Braine, Arnold Wesker and
Alan Sillitoe. William Cooper, the early model Angry Young Men, though Cambridge-educated
was a "provincial" writer in his frankness and material and is included in this group.
3. A small group of young existentialist philosophers led by Colin Wilson and also including Stuart
Holroyd and Bill Hopkins.

They were not an organized and ideologically coherent artistic movement. Observers and critics could find
no common thread among them all.( Coming as a breath of foul air amidst the cozy conformity of post-war
Britain, the Angry Young Men, a ragbag collection of literary misfits with little or nothing in common,
were perhaps the first media-created artistic movement. ) They were writers from different backgrounds
whose first book or play appeared at more or less the same time thus they were contemporaries by age.
They were not of the upper-class establishment, nor were they protegés of existing literary circles. It was
essentially a male "movement". However the common bond which links them together was irreverence,
disrespect:

 an outspoken irreverence for the British class system, the status quo, particularly the so-called
Establishment
 its traditional network of pedigreed families
 the elitist Oxford and Cambridge universities.
 the stiff Church of England

They showed an equally uninhibited disdain for the drabness of the postwar welfare state and the
contentment infecting British culture. Their writings frequently expressed raw anger and frustration as the
postwar reforms failed to meet exalted aspirations for genuine change.
Their political views were seen as radical, sometimes even anarchic, and they described social
alienation of different kinds. Frederick Karl noticed that: “their novels are more significant as

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demonstration of certain social phenomena than as works of fiction.” Nevertheless, they made no coherent
political stance, nor did they give any solution to social problems they denounced.
These opinions were usually expressed in direct, straightforward language, rejecting the self-
conscious experimentation of the immediate prewar years. In a negative description, they tended to avoid
radical experimentalism typical to the modernist literature in favor of a more accessible style.
All in all, it had something to do with English "provincialism" asserting itself, in a world where
James Joyce, Virginia Woolf and Dylan Thomas had recently taken the literary high ground. Feelings of
frustration and exclusion from the centre and The Establishment were taken up, as common sense
surrogates for the Freud and Sartre of the highbrows. (That much fitted in with the overlapping Movement
poets, identified as such a year or two before, also a journalistic label.)

Cultural and historical background

Through economic policies Britain had succeeded to overcome the austerity of the post-war era. After the
period of rationing and outright scarcity of consumer goods, more electrical and other goods became
available. Many new and exciting products came from the United States, including a range of relatively
cheap, attractive plastic goods. Household goods were often available in big department stores with hire
purchase. The old values of thrift and saving seemed under threat. For many British people the 1950s was a
comfortable decade. Living standards were rising and a range of attractive consumer goods was available,
in pleasing contrast to the austere 1940s. This was the basis of Harold Macmillan’s famous remark in
1957, “Most of our people have never had it so good” as well as for the comment of R. A. Butler, the
Home Secretary in 1960, “We have developed... an affluent, open and democratic society... in which
people are divided not so much between ‘haves’ and ‘have-nots’ as between ‘haves’ and ‘have-mores’”.
Another thing that had changed during this decade in Britain, as well as in the United States, was
the development of youth as a separate class: the teenagers enjoyed relatively high purchasing power, more
freedom and began to move away their parents’ values, developing their own music and clothing styles.
There was a similar post-war revolt against the culture of the well-to-do, of the welfare state, of the
affluence of the decade where we can include the Angry Young Men.
They were the product of the social reforms of post war Britain. During the 1950s and 1960s there
was continuing emphasis on providing children with equality of opportunity in education and a growing
concern to ensure “equality of outcome”. From 1953 the Labour Party was committed to comprehensive
education, which was believed to be a way to lessen disadvantages stemming from parental circumstances.
The period was also marked by rapid expansion of university education. In the 1950s several provincial
university colleges were enlarged and given university status, and later in the decade seven new
universities (East Anglia, Essex, Kent, Lancaster, Sussex, Warwick, and York) were created. Changes in

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higher education, with the development of the polytechnics and the “new universities,” meant that, at least
to some extent, higher education was thrown open to children from poorer homes.
However, in practice many of the old class divisions continued and, indeed, increased. What the
working class lacked was "status," and with status comes real power. Some of the Angry Young Men had
been educated at the elitist Oxford and Cambridge universities, thanks to state scholarships (Osborne's fees
at Belmont College in Devon were paid by a benevolent society, while Amis's father - a sales manager for
Colman's Mustard - paid fees to the City of London School on the Thames Embankment) but they found
that the power structure excluded them, the class system was still mysteriously intact and had no place for
them.
Thus their works ridicule British culture and snobbishness, express the bitterness of the lower
classes toward the established sociopolitical system, and the mediocrity and hypocrisy of the middle and
upper classes.
The trend that was evident in John Wain's novel Hurry on Down (1953) (the story of an Oxford-
educated man who refuses to join the ranks of the middle class), and in Lucky Jim (1954) by Kingsley
Amis, (which relates the misadventures of a university instructor disgusted with the pretension of academic
life), was crystallized in 1956 in the play Look Back in Anger, which became the representative work of the
movement.
When the Royal Court Theatre's press agent described the play's 26-year-old author John Osborne
as an “angry young man,” the name was extended to all his contemporaries who expressed rage at the
persistence of class distinctions, pride in their lower-class mannerisms, and dislike for anything highbrow
or “phoney.” Middle-class norms, the strict censorship, rigid class system were also mocked in such works
as Room At The Top (1957) by John Braine, and Saturday Night and Sunday Morning (1958) (it is the
story of a rude and amoral young labourer for whom drink and sex on Saturday night provide the only
relief from the oppression of the working life) and The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner (1959) by
Alan Sillitoe. The social comment was tougher in A Taste of Honey (1959) by Shelagh Delaney, which
depicts the crueler side of life for a young woman in the Salford slums, and in works by Arnold Wesker,
including the trilogy Chicken Soup With Barley (1958), Roots (1959), and I’m Talking About Jerusalem
(1960), which deals with the struggles of two Jewish families in London’s East End to put into practice
their socialist ideals.
Within a few weeks of the opening of Look Back in Anger in May 1956 by John Osborne another
young working class writer, Colin Wilson, published a book called The Outsider. Hailed by the press as a
genius, as England's answer to the French existentialist philosophers and writers, he was thrown in with
Osborne as part of this new movement. To these were soon added writers like Alan Sillitoe, Kingsley
Amis, Arnold Wesker, even Harold Pinter and Doris Lessing.
That May evening in 1956 was the night that the angry young men told the nation that their brave
new world had replaced the old order - and, by doing so, ushered into existence the dramatic changes that

1
were to sweep the country in the decade that followed - sexual revolution, teenage rebellion and the youth
culture of the 1960s.
Osborne's play bitterly condemned every single 'respectable' Victorian and Edwardian value -
traditions and standards that had made Britain great. It was, as the Tory Prime minister Edward Heath put
it later 'the death of deference'.
Critic Kenneth Tynan, then just 28, raved: 'Look Back In Anger presents post-war youth as it really
is. .. All the qualities are there, qualities one had despaired of ever seeing on the stage - the drift towards
anarchy, the instinctive Leftishness, the automatic rejection of " official" attitudes, the surreal sense of
humour. . . the casual promiscuity, the sense of lacking a crusade worth fighting.'(Jimmy's(Porter)
statement that “people of our generation aren't able to die for good causes any longer.... There aren't any
good, brave causes left.”) He was speaking for the postwar generation that has suddenly arrived in Britain,
who saw Osborne's play as a clear sign that their new world, a world of coffee bars, Teddy Boys, and, of
course, rock 'n' roll, was replacing the austerity of the late 1940s.
Their novels and plays typically featured a rootless, lower-middle or working-class male
protagonist who lacks religious or political ideals and generally a direction in life, deeply distrusts the
institutions, disregards family life, views society with scorn and sardonic humour, rebels against the
Establishment and may have conflicts with authority but who is nevertheless preoccupied with the quest
for upward mobility.
In fact this social upward mobility is responsible for the briefness of this movement. By and large,
the angry young men were aggressive with ambition; they criticized a world into which they wanted to
penetrate. Their anger had begun to dissipate – as soon as literary success arrived, they were transformed
from outsiders to figures of the Establishment they used to loathe so much.
By the end of the decade Osborne and Amis had moved to the right, joining Braine and Wain, who
had never really been anything else. Amis, for example, flushed by success, soon became metropolitan
again, a consumer of fine wine, migrated from Communism in the 1940s to Leftism in the 1950s, before
ending up as an Thatcherite by the 1980s. Larkin was always a man of the Right, but his letters chart a
descent into the most rancid xenophobia. Wilson went from obscure hero to zero with his second book.
Braine and Barstow became 'real life' (where lasses got in the club, lad, and fathers wanted their daughters
wed).
Thus ended the curious reign of the Angry Young Men; these strange young men who most
definitely left their mark on post-war British society were the forerunners of every iconoclastic young
rebellious movement in the decades to come. In daring to question the blandness and rigidity of post-war
Britain, they had, as John Wain put it 'provided an injection of vitality into the withered arm of British
literature'. And not just literature - their influence permeated the entire culture: cinema and theatre as well.
For example the British New Wave – (the name given to a trend in filmmaking among directors in
Britain in the late fifties and early sixties, who challenged the social status quo with their dramas about

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working class life) and the “kitchen sink drama” (– a particular type of drama, domestic realism as it came
to be known, centered around class and the nitty-gritty of day-to-day life ushered by playwright John
Osborne) can be mentioned. The authors included in this movement were writers as Harold Pinter, John
Braine, and Alan Sillitoe, Arnold Wesker.
As various protagonists of Sillitoe's early fiction are generally restless young men from the slum
world, who oppose the established order of things, we can understand why the author was included in this
group. No matter if he accepted the label or not, he broke new ground with its portrayal of the English
working-class life.

The Critical Reception of The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner

The short story “The loneliness of the Long Distance Runner” is considered a masterpiece of short
fiction and tells the story of a race in a boys’ reformatory that becomes a battle between subjection and
independence. Colin Smith, the lead character is imprisoned in a Brostal where he has to win a cross-
country race at the Governor’s request. But he realizes that by doing so he affirms the reformatory
program’s success and his acceptance of the Governor’s values so he loses intentionally to retain his self-
respect.
The story is divided into three parts, and is narrated on the first person by Smith. The first part of
this long story contains little in the way of conventional narrative: it is more in the nature of a manifesto.
We learn that Smith is in a Borstal in Essex, but we must wait until we reach Part Two to discover why he
is there. He tells how he got into the cross-country running, and what he really feels about this matter. He
loathes the Governor and the In-Laws, the law-abiding citizens property-owning majority and defines a
clear-cut war between them and the Out-Laws, the substantial minority who have no stake in the system.
He also narrates about the pleasures of running because it’s the only time when he can think and when he
feels truly free. In part two through the flash back technique, we find out how he got in Brostal and his past
life and background is constructed. This part is more conventional narrative: it is past tense, first person
and deals with a series of events: the death of Smith's father and the spending spree provided by “insurance
and benefits” from the Factory where he worked, the robbery of the bakery and the arrest of Smith.
Part three has a more sophisticated narrative method. It is principally an account of the race, but even in
this Sillitoe uses the flash back, switching from the use of the past to the use of the present tense (and back)
to give certain passages greater immediacy. A more detailed account of the death of Smith's father (briefly
related in Part Two) is given here, emphasizing the importance it had in Smith’s life and his further
development. Colin confronts the temptation of winning the Governor’s race and looks into the prospect of
material wealth and social status a respectful life would give him. However he realizes that what he is
offered isn’t much and he purposely loses the race. The story concludes with an account of the governor's
expected punishment of Smith. Contrary to the governor's intentions, these have helped him further. Six

1
months of tiring menial work enables Smith to become a more skilful burglar, rather than a reformed
character. Also the long distance running caused him to go down with pleurisy on his release, which
enabled him to avoid National Service.
To give the work a veneer of authenticity Sillitoe concludes with Smith's comment that he is writing his
story in a book, which his “pal” can have published, should Smith be convicted again.. As we are reading
the apparently now-published work, we must assume that Smith's fatalistic fear of his inevitable return to
custody has now been realised.
“While there is general agreement that it is one of the best British short novels to have been
published in recent years, the interpretations given it have generated some surprising critical conflicts”
says Penner in the beginning of his essay "Human Dignity and Social Anarchy: Sillitoe’s ‘The Loneliness
of the Long-Distance Runner.". He continues showing the conflictive readings some scholars have made of
Sillitoe’s novella: “One scholar submits that the purpose of the story is to depict the "moral decay" of the
hero, Colin Smith: "he is lonely, too, because he lives his life according to a 'code' that denies him any joy
in life, a 'code' that consists, in fact, of the denial of the ordinary human pleasures.” He concludes," We are
led into seeing that all of Smith's beliefs have been false. . . ." Another critic presents a contradictory
reading, explaining that Smith attains "'honesty' in all its fullness. And at this moment when truth is fully
apprehended, the runner's kinship with humanity (corollary of the liberation and the attainment), as distinct
from his former alienation from it, is decisively established. It is almost a Christ like passion, for a
tragically deluded society suicidally hostile to life. . . ."” (Penner, 1-2)
Penner identifies Sillitoe’s story as part of a long tradition of tales, those of rogue’s tales, or thief’s
autobiographies. "The moral in many instances is delineated by the repentant criminal himself. Sillitoe’s
criminal...is not repentant, and the moral of the tale is not so simple as to promote the cause of virtue...,"
(Penner, 254).
In so doing, the author has reversed the formula of the popular crime
tale of fiction, wherein the reader enjoys vicariously witnessing the
exploits of the outlaw and then has the morally reassuring pleasure of
seeing the doors of the prison close upon him in the conclusion. Sillitoe begins his tale in
prison, and he ends it before the doors have
opened again, leaving us with the unsettling realization that the doors
will indeed open and that the criminal will be released unreformed.
He concludes that the central theme of the story is nonetheless rebellion. He examines Smith’s
characters and his choices: “Smith is unemployed because he does not want employment. He commits the
crime-stealing a bakery cashbox-not out of necessity but out of choice.” (Penner 256)
T. Mooney in his essay “Progress and Power in the "Angry Young Men"” talks about the lack of
power the characters have in the writings of the Angry Young Men. “As a member of the working class,
Smith is powerless in many aspects of his life, and in the Borstal he is even more powerless.[…] By his

1
actions during the race, Smith is simply accessing power in the only way he knows that is appropriate for
the situation: By inaction. His is the power to embarrass the governor, the power to put him in his place, or
the power to express himself as an individual.” (Mooney)
What is common to all the interpretations the short story has received during the years is the theme
of anger and rebellion against the Establishment. Colin Smith (whose first name is mentioned only in the
film) is portrayed as an Angry Young Man who through introspection is struggling to figure out his place
in this world, only to find out that there is no place for him in the British society. On the economic level,
the working class of England had progressed, but socially this was not so. They were still mired in their
swamp where they had no real say in the directions of their lives. Therefore he is depicted as an outsider,
critical of the conventional morality and behavior of the ruling class. In Sillitoe’s fictional world there is a
perspective which tries to draw clear-cut distinctions between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ ‘ruler’ and ‘ruled’ ‘them’
and ‘us’ otherwise characterized as the “In-laws ” (the law-abiding property-owning majority) and the
“Out-laws ” (the substantial minority who have no stake in this system). The “In-laws” are principally
embodied in the person of the borstal governor, and the cop who arrests Smith, while the archetypal “Out-
law” is our narrator: “If only 'them' and 'us' had the same ideas we'd get on like a house on fire, but they
don't see eye to eye with us and we don't see eye to eye with them, so that's how it stands and how it will
always stand.” (Sillitoe 1)
Smith has a very categorical vision about how society is divided and how it is ruled:
I don't care what anybody says, but that's the truth and can't be denied. I know when he
talks to me and I look into his army mug that I'm alive and he's dead. […] At the moment
it's dead blokes like him as have the whip-hand over blokes like me, and I'm almost dead
sure it'll always be like that, but even so, by Christ, I'd rather be like I am--always on the
run and breaking into shops for a packet of fags and a jar of jam--than have the whip-hand
over somebody else and be dead from the toe nails up. Maybe as soon as you get the whip-
hand over somebody you do go dead. (Sillitoe 3)
That’s why he despises so much the Governor and his requests: “"We want hard honest work and we want
good athletics," he said as well.” And if you give us both these things you can be sure we'll do right by you
and send you back into the world an honest man."” (Sillitoe 2) He realizes that their idea of honesty is not
the same. The governor is talking of honesty as respect for others' property, in Smith's terms renouncing
theft; while he takes honesty to mean being true to one's principles and personal integrity. Sillitoe’s works
express the recognition that human slavery reaches beyond class lines, while slavery becomes bondage to
an ideology of production and consumption. “Be honest. It's like saying: Be dead, like me, and then you'll
have no more pain of leaving your nice slummy house for Borstal or prison. Be honest and settle down in a
cosy six pounds a week job.” (Sillitoe 4)
The life of honest work is to become a small cog in the machine, to surrender your own personal
dignity, freedom and power to make your choices and feel as a vital living being. The governor’s offer is

1
an entrapment toward a dead end, toward a spiritual death. In Smith’s world wining the race would mean
giving up his own principles, admit that he is on the wrong side of society, and that he has been reformed
in the Brostal through the governor’s “enlightened” regime, to accept the values and outlook of the In-
Laws and all the governor’s kind:
But I'd have a wife and car and get my grinning longdistance clock in the papers and have a
smashing secretary to answer piles of letters sent by tarts who'd mob me when they saw
who I was as I pushed my way into Woolworth's for a packet of razor blades and a cup of
tea. It was something to think about all right, and sure enough the governor knew he'd got
me when he said, turning to me as if I would at any rate have to be consulted about it all:
"How does this matter strike you, then, Smith, my lad?" (Sillitoe 14)
Losing the race is his ultimate act of defiance and the greatest sign of his determination and will power,
reasserting his independence. It is their game but he wins it on his own terms, accomplishing to be
rebellious but not violent. Therefore he refuses to become phoney, false and duplicitous as the governor
and the Torry on the TV are:
[…] some Tory telling us about how good his government was going to be if we kept on
voting for them--their slack chops rolling, opening and bumbling, hands lifting to twitch
moustaches and touching their buttonholes to make sure the flower hadn't wilted, so that
you could see they didn't mean a word they said, especially with not a murmur coming out
because we'd cut off the sound. When the governor of the Borstal first talked to me I was
reminded of those times so much that I nearly killed myself trying not to laugh. (Sillitoe 7)
It is also essential to mention the enticing power of the TV commercials, and their influence on
Colin and his family: “the adverts on the telly had shown us how much more there was in the world to buy
than we'd ever dreamed of. […]And the telly made all these things seem twenty times better than we'd ever
thought they were.” (Sillitoe 6) Because of this fancy world the TV has shown Colin, he decides to break
the bakery so he can continue living that easy life the insurance money provided: “when the dough ran out
I didn't think about anything much, but just roamed the streets [...] to get my hands on another five hundred
nicker so's the nice life we'd got used to could go on and on for ever.” (Sillitoe 6) The author shows the
power of illusion as he hints that the choice of robbing the bakery is not an independent choice, but one
influenced by the fantasy world of the television and by Mike’s urgings, “whereas the crucial choices he
makes while running the race is entirely his and because of this it is authentic.” (Hanson, 40)
The decision to lose the race becomes a turning point in his life, because it is a victory, a step
further into intellectual independence. He makes a conscious choice which turns him into a human being,
different from the large majority who lead their lives in a semi-sedated kind of style. He realizes that the
governor sees him as a race horse, or as a means of gaining respect and fame. “They give us a bit of blue
ribbon and a cup for a prize after we've shagged ourselves out running or jumping, like race horses, only
we don't get so well looked-after as race horses, that's the only thing.” (Sillitoe 1) He suggests that wining

1
the race and earning glory and prestige for the governor is worse, is more insidiously criminal than he
robbing someone’s fortune. In Penner opinion the failure of the penal system to rehabilitate the youthful
offenders is due to the administrators of the system who fail to recognize the humanity of the inmates.
(Penner 257) However Sillitoe hints at the bigger picture, not only the administrators are rotten but the
whole society. “And I'll lose that race, because I'm not a race horse at all […]. By Christ I will. I'm a
human being and I've got thoughts and secrets and bloody life inside me that he doesn't know is there, and
he'll never know what's there because he's stupid.”(Sillitoe 3) We can see here how Sillitoe outlines the
moral inversion in our society. It is us, the vast majority of law abiding citizen that have become enslaved
by the system that have lost our true self and that we have been destroyed at the root of our humanity. This
loss of identity and independence is shown in the use of the pronoun ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ by the policeman
and the governor: “And when the governor kept saying how 'we' wanted you to do this, and 'we' wanted
you to do that, I kept looking round for the other blokes, wondering how many of them there was. Of
course, I knew there were thousands of them, but as far as I knew only one was in the room.” (Sillitoe 2)
They prefer the reassuring gregarious belonging to a majority than standing alone against the system. They
would rather be part of the oppressive majority than be the one that has to stand the scrutiny of the others.
This leads us to another central theme tackled in the story, meaning the loneliness. By losing the
race he distance himself from others, Smith becomes a singular character:”I couldn't see anybody, and I
knew what the loneliness of the long-distance runner running across country felt like, realizing that as far
as I was concerned this feeling was the only honesty and realness there was in the world and I knowing it
would be no different ever, no matter what I felt at odd times, and no matter what anybody else tried to tell
me.” (Sillitoe 14) On his solitary races he begins to think about his life and begins to understand the social
forces which have denied him his freedom, slowly regaining his independence:
It's a treat, being a long-distance runner, out in the world by yourself with not a soul to
make you bad-tempered or tell you what to do or that there's a shop to break and enter a bit
back from the next street. Sometimes I think that I've never been so free as during that
couple of hours when I'm trotting up the path out of the gates and turning by that bare-
faced, big-bellied oak tree at the lane end. (Sillitoe 2)
The author subtly critiques the cultural forces of our constructed society that act against our full
human development. Smith believes that he is being true to his own morals. And, by doing so he has
control and power over his own life, even though he is confined in a juvenile prison, a typical place where
intellectual escape is made possible: “They can spy on us all day to see if we're pulling our puddings and if
we're working good or doing our 'athletics' but they can't make an X-ray of our guts to find out what we're
telling ourselves.” (Sillitoe 2)
The story is narrated in first person throughout, we never get the author’s point of view, and he
never states clearly his own interpretation. This lack of authorial mark can be seen as a suggestion that this
story represents just one side of it. Smith explains several times that what he says is how things are,

1
according to his understanding, it is highly probable that the governor has a side of his own, his own ideas
of what honesty is, of what the race meant: “I know what honest means according to me and he only
knows what it means according to him: I think my honesty is the only sort in the world, and he thinks his is
the only sort in the world as well.” (Sillitoe 4)
Also Sillitoe once said that : “A writer must always retain his integrity and what he knows to be truth, even
though is not exactly the truth but the truth as far as he knows it.” (Cited in Hanson) Thus we might
sympathize with Smith or disapprove of him but as long as we do it on our own terms, as long as we make
a conscious effort to get to our own conclusions we are on the right track.

CHAPTER 2

The evolution of Translation Studies

Only in the 20th century translation has gained some attention on its own without being linked to
foreign language teaching and learning process, only in the 1978 has the term Translation Studies (a term
proposed by André Lefevere) been accepted as a label for the new academic discipline which deals with
“the problems raised by the production and description of translation.” (qtd in Bassnett, 11) As Susan
Bassnett notes, translation is generally understood as “the rendering of a source language (SL) text into a
target language (TL) as to ensure that the surface meaning of the two will be approximately similar and the
structure of the SL will be preserved as closely as possible but not so closely that the TL structures will be
seriously distorted.” (Basnett 11)
The focus of translation studies has been broadened in the last decades of the 20th century: in the
1950s and in the 1960s the linguistic approach dominated while from the late 1980s the linguistic theories
were marginalized by the adoption of various form of cultural studies. “The interest moved from the
equivalence of the word, and then text, to the realization of power relations in and around the translation
environment.” (Munday, 197) Also if initially the scholars were concerned with the question of
faithfulness and equivalence to the original the focus moved toward the visibility of the translator and the
norms, methods he usually uses when translating meaning the emphasis shifted on the translating process
itself. If in the beginning the contrastive analysis was used, comparing two languages in an attempt to
identify their differences and similarities, in later years the syntactic/semantic level of traditional linguistic
approach was replaced by the incorporation of socio-cultural and pragmatic factors.
One of the characteristics of the study of translation is that, certainly initially, it was based on the
practice of translating; much early writing was by individual translators and directed at explaining,
justifying or discussing their choice of a particular translation strategy. The central recurring theme that has
been emerging again and again is the theme word-for-word and sense-for-sense. Up until the half of the

1
20th century western translation theories seemed locked in what George Steiner calls a ‘sterile debate over
the ‘triad’ of ‘literal’, ‘free’ and ‘faithful’ translation. (Munday 19) The distinction between word-for-word
(i.e. literal) and sense-for-sense (i.e. free) goes back to Horace and Cicero who had an underlying principle
of enriching their native language and literature through translation, favoring the aesthetic characteristics
of the TL product rather than the rigid fidelity to the original. Horace’s emphasis on the production of a
beautiful and pleasing text in the TL had great influence on the centuries to come. Thus St Jerome cites the
authority of Cicero’s approach to justify his own Latin revision in the translation of the Bible. He admits
and “freely announces” that he has not rendered “word-for-word but sense-for-sense”, thus allowing that
the sense of the SL to be translated. This fidelity had initially been dismissed as literal word-for-word
translation by Horace. Only in the end of the 17th century, fidelity came to be identified with faithfulness to
the meaning of the text rather than to the author’s choice of words and syntax.
In the late 1970s and in the 1980s the descriptive approach having its origins in the Russian
Formalism and comparative literature, gained prominence. A pioneering center was in Tel-Aviv where
Itamar Even-Zohar and Gideon Toury have pursued the idea of the literary polysystem (a mash of systems
where literary texts, translated or not, compete for dominance) in which the attention is moved from an
one-to-one equivalence to an investigation of the position of translated literature as a whole in the
historical and literary system of the target culture. (Munday 122)
The text-linguistic approaches that were popular in the 1980s (including the text types and text
purpose- skopos theory) were supplanted in the 1990s by the pragmatic level of linguistic translation
research methods like the discourse analysis and systemic functional grammar which views language as a
communicative act in a socio-cultural context. Post-colonial theories, gender studies, cultural and
ideological approaches viewed translation as a cultural transfer: translation as a rewriting, developed from
system theories and pioneered by André Lefevere, studied the power relations and ideologies existing in
the patronage and poetics of literary and cultural system that have a say in the literary translation.
Translation and gender tried to make the distinctive feminine traits visible in the translation (flaunting the
signs of the manipulation of the text by the feminist translator) or to highlight how markers of gay identity
either disappear or are made pejorative in the TL. The postcolonial translation theory emphasizes the
unequal power relationships that have characterized the translation process so far. Similar to the inequality
that translation has been subjected to in earlier centuries when the translation was seen as second rate
activity and its product was always an inferior copy of the superior original, the post colonial theorists try
to show the imbalance of power relations between colonized and colonizer. For example Niranjana’s focus
is on the way translation into English has generally been used by the colonial power to construct a
rewritten image of the ‘East’ that has then come to stand for the truth, while Spivak is concerned with the
distortion and the ideological consequences the translation of ‘Third World’ literature into English would
entail. (Munday, 132)

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 Venuti’s work has brought a new point of view in Translation Studies. He states that in the Anglo-
American culture the most current practice has been the domestication of the SL which entails translating
in a transparent, fluent, ‘invisible, style in order to minimize the foreignness of the TT. Thus the translated
text “is judged acceptable by most publishers, reviewers and readers when it reads fluently, when the
absence of any linguistic or stylistic peculiarities makes it seem transparent, giving the appearance that it
reflects the foreign writer’s personality or intention or the essential meaning of the foreign text – the
appearance, in other words, that the translation is not in fact a translation, but the ‘original’.” (Venuti qtd in
Munday 144) This attitude of self-effacing translators is forced upon them by the repressive publishing
industry which chooses the texts that will be translated and also influences the translation strategies which
encourage a ‘fluent’ TT that erases all the traces of the foreign. Venuti’s urge is to adopt foreignization as a
method of resistance to the dominant ‘ethnocentrically violent’ values of publishers and literary reviewers,
to make a “minoritizing translation, to cultivate a varied and ‘heterogeneous discourse’.”(Venuti qtd in
Munday 145)
Berman following in the footsteps of Venuti, is against the tendency to negate the foreign in the
translation through the ‘naturalization’ strategy and says that ‘the properly ethical aim of the translating act
is receiving the foreign as foreign.’ Through ‘the negative analytic’ he shows how the textual deformation
of the TTs prevent the foreign coming through: the rationalization, clarification, expansion, qualitative and
quantitative impoverishment, the destruction of underlying networks of signification are some of the
twelve deforming tendencies Berman spots in the translation process that tends to reduce the linguistic
variety and creativity of the original.
The next step in Translation studies has been moving the focus from the translation process itself
onto the translator and his subjectivity. As language does not simply mirror reality but intervenes in the
constructing the meaning of surrounding world, the translators are directly involved in that shaping process
regardless of the nature of the text they are dealing with, be it an instruction manual, a legal document or a
philosophical essay. The noticeable focus on the agents of translation and interpreting, especially the
translators themselves, rather than the texts and culture has become center stage in translation studies
research. Alongside the ‘sociology’ of translation has investigated the role of the translator as an active
agent, drawing mainly on the theories of Pierre Bourdieu and his concepts of field (the site of the power
struggle between the agents) habitus (the broad social, identitary and cognitive disposition of the agents
that structure and are structured by the field) the symbolic and material capital and illusion (the cultural
limits of awareness) in an effort to theorize, describe and understand the sociohistorical place and role of
the translator. As individuals are different and unique and come from different backgrounds, have different
ideological presuppositions, it is not surprising that they give different readings to the text that needs to be
translated and therefore the final product will differ from others’ translators. Obviously there is no correct
interpretation of a text, which transforms the translation process in a creative rewriting, and the translator
“as a liberator, someone who frees the text from the fixed signs of its original shape making it no longer

1
subordinate to the source text but visibly endeavoring to bridge the space betweens source author and text
and the eventual target language readership.”(Bassnett 6)
The rejection of the unified meaning of a text points out to the translation studies’ emphasis on
diversity. If initially translation studies were seen as a menial second rate activity, colonized by language
studies, in the last decades it has gained it status as an academic field in its own right. Moreover it is now
independent and willing to apply from other disciplines methodologies and theories, without any fear that
might get subjugated by these relationships. As McCarty puts it, translation study is a true interdiscipline -
“an entity that exists in the interstices of the existing fields, dealing with some, many or all of them. It’s the
Phoenician trader among the settled nations. Its existence is enigmatic in such a world; the enigma
challenges us to rethink how we organize and institutionalize knowledge.” (McCarty qtd in Munday 14)

On the Romanian translation

My translation into Romanian being the first I could not compare it with an existent and accepted
translation. However after reading Munday’s book I realized that a contrastive analysis of two translations
in Romanian, underlining the misunderstanding of the original text, or of the supposed implications of the
author was not something I would pursue. In the light of contemporary theories about translation it is not a
practice worth doing, because as Bassnett has showed translation is a creative writing after a close reading
of the original. Thus as a text can have many different readings can also have many different translations,
and the need to rank them according to the fidelity to the original and the supposed implied meaning is not
something worthwhile persisting in. In the end the difference between translations is not something to fear
but to accept and praise, a way to acknowledge one’s personality and singularity.
Examining my translation after I also read the theories on Translation Studies I can say that most of
the time my strategy was that of domestication, if we should use Venuti’s terminology. Most of the time I
translated in a transparent fluent style so the ‘foreignness’ of the text could be diminished. I tried to make a
text that could be read easily in Romanian, making an adaptation of most of the terms that did not have a
cultural equivalent in Romanian, as the fruit-machines or the fish-and-chip shop, slumgullion, Pen Pushers,
a half-nelson, Dolly-on-the-Tub next door, Remand Homes, French farthing, which I translated as
‘automate cu monede’ ‘magazinul cu peşte şi cartofi’, ‘poşircalionu’, ‘funcţionarii’,’sirena din cadă din
apartamentul de alături’, ‘şcoala de corecţie’. However the Romanian terms do not have the implications
that they have in English, which means that the mesh of connotation Sillitoe’s short story has is simplified
and deficient in Romanian.
Another key point in the issues encountered in the translation process is the vernacular Sillitoe uses
extensively in the short story. His style was regarded as perfectly adapted to his subject-matter; he used the
working-class speech of Nottingham, an English industrial town and the author's birthplace, to tell Smith’s
tale in the Brostal as well as the bakery robbery and his imprisonment. This strong regionalism,

2
reminiscent of the regionalism common in nineteenth-century British fiction, is one of the most noted
features of Sillitoe's writing. However the number of this dialect terms is reduced considerably in
Romanian, which only demonstrates the loss of the creativity of the original story. This is what Toury calls
“the law of growing standardization” which refers to the disruption of the ST patterns in translation and the
selection of linguistic options that are more common in the TL. Thus words like daft, sheep-dip, coppers,
tec, mug, nut, clock, clink, dobbie, Jerry bombs, chops, quid, lolly, dough, nicker, nabbed, gnat, twig, bob,
nipping, ham-hock, cleverdick, narks, doggo, snotty, dick, pitprop, blower, bunk, beano, bleeder,
buckshee, tarts, copper-lugs, sludgy loaf, gizzard, ticker, fruit-machines, croaked, doddering, gaffer,
maulers, spuds, have been translated in a less creative way, as I opted for the standard choice most of the
time (for instance mug, nut, clock I translated as faţă). The idiolect (or sociolect as it is mainly a class-
based speech) is indicative of the character’s identity. An analysis of the lexis, grammar and their discourse
can explain the construction of their sociolect. The characters’ aggressive sociolect full of colloquialisms
and slang terms clearly reflects their environment, their poor upbringing, and their working class
background. Taking into account that this use of vernacular is a means of identity construction, it is quite
difficult to render this in Romanian and have the same effect on the reader as the original short story would
have on an English Reader.
As Venuti himself states it is difficult to adopt just one strategy of translation when translating a
literary work. Usually in the translation of a text both methods are used, domestication as well as
foreignization appear in the target text. In my case I tried to stick as much as possible to Sillitoe’s syntax
and not to alter the original English structures. Thus sometimes the reading of the short story in Romanian
is at bit peculiar and hard to get requiring the reader’s attention in order to grasp the meaning of the
sentence. However where confusion and the understanding of the meaning could be obstructed because of
this tight adherence I made slights alterations.
Since I strove to keep the English syntax as close as possible and I left the author alone and moved
the reader toward the English structures, meaning I did not alter the original work to give the guise of
being written in Romanian can be considered a technique of foreignization. Moreover I kept some of the
original nouns used by Sillitoe in order to maintain the local colour of the text. Word like Brostal, Remand
Homes or like the Teddy Boys I left unaltered, and explained in a footnote the cultural implications. For
example a borstal was a type of youth prison in the United Kingdom, run by the Prison Service and
intended to reform seriously delinquent young people. The regime in these institutions was designed to be
"educational rather than punitive", but it was highly regulated, with a focus on routine, discipline, regular
work and authority. The Criminal Justice Act 1982 abolished the borstal system in the UK, introducing
youth custody centers instead. The Remand Homes a term no longer in use, was used for an institution to
which juvenile offenders between 8 and 14 years were remanded or committed for detention.
Also the British Teddy Boy subculture referred to young men wearing clothes inspired by the styles of the
Edwardian period, which Savile Row tailors had tried to re-introduce after World War II. The group got its

2
name after a 1953 newspaper headline shortened Edward to Teddy and coined the term Teddy boy (also
known as Ted). The subculture started in London in the 1950s and rapidly spread across the UK, soon
becoming strongly associated with American rock and roll music of the period. Although there had been
youth groups with their own dress codes called "Scuttlers" in 19th century Manchester and Liverpool
Teddy Boys were the first youth group in England to differentiate themselves as teenagers, helping create a
youth market.
All these words have no Romanian equivalent therefore I left them untranslated and put the readers
in the position where they have to look for further information on their own if they wanted to find out all
the connotations these words have in English. This position is fairly unpleasant and troublesome, and
surely an English reader will never find himself in that position, as the Romanian receivers cannot be
assumed to possess the same background knowledge as the English receivers because of cultural
differences and because of the time gap, since the short story was published in 1959 while the translation
in Romanian is made 50 years later, therefore the original information is no longer activated by the
reference. This phenomenon can be classified under the term of cultural untranslatability described by
Catford. While linguistic untranslatability occurs when there is no lexical or syntactical substitute in the TL
for an SL item, cultural untranslatability is due to the absence in the TL culture of a relevant situational
feature for the SL text.
However this estranging translation style is meant also to make the Romanian reader aware that he
is not reading an original work but a translation, which should acknowledge “the foreign as foreign”. (qtd
in Munday, 147) However Berman considers that there is generally a “system of textual deformation” in
TTs that prevent the foreign coming through, adopting a strategy of ‘naturalization’, a term similar to
Venuti’s domestication. By this Berman is referring to the linguistic variety of the original short story and
the way translation tends to reduce these variations. He identifies twelve deforming tendencies:
rationalization, clarification, expansion, ennoblement, qualitative impoverishment, quantitative
impoverishment, the destruction of rhythms, the destruction of underlying networks of signification, the
destruction of linguistic patternings, the destruction of vernacular networks or their exoticization, the
destruction of expressions and idioms, the effacement of the superimposition of languages.
Translating into Romanian I had seen some of these tendencies at work and I would like to point
some of them in this particular case.
Rationalization mainly affetcs syntactic structures, including sentence structure and order, also includes
the tendency to generalization. For example in this sentence:
Even though the swaddies come out at odd times a week for a pint of ale, so what? (Sillitoe,19,2)
Ce dacă soldaţii ies în momentele de răgaz, săptămânal la o halbă de bere?
we can see how rationalization works, the structure so what being transferred in the start position in
Romanian.

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Clarification includes explicitation which aims to render clear what is not intended to be clear in the
original. A possible example could be “a couple of tarts that would give us all they were good for” which I
translated as “două fufe ce ne vor face tot la ce sunt ele bune”, or the translation of Remand Homes as
‘şcoala de corecţie’. Also ‘go through the same mill as I've gone through’ into Romanian is explained as
‘să treacă prin aceleaşi experiente neplăcute cum am trecut şi eu’
Expansion refers to the tendency of TTs to be longer than STs due to the ‘empty’ explicitation that
unshapes its rhythm, to ‘over translation’ and to ‘flattening’. In my case the Romanian translation is longer
with 6 pages than the original.
Quantitative impoverishment is a loss of lexical variation in translation. In Sillitoe’s story the synonyms
for face mug, nut, clock I rendered them in Romanian as faţă, which involves lexical loss.
The destruction of vernacular networks relates to local speech and language patterns which play an
important role in establishing the setting of a novel and of course the characters’ identity. In my case I tried
not to erase all the slang and regionalisms found in Sillitoe’s short story but I reduced heavily the variation:
for instance the words: lolly, dough, nicker as bani, ticker as inimă, sludgy loaf, brainless eyes as cap sec,
cap gol.
The destruction of expressions and idioms is related to the replacement of an idiom or proverb by its TL
equivalent. However Berman considers that playing with equivalence is “to attack the discourse of the
foreign work” (Munday 148) So expression as to get on like a house on fire, no love lost between us, to
beck-and-call, play ball, as happy as a dog with a tin tail, sling one's hook, as dead as a doornail, to do
myself in, go through the same mill, are simplified or explained in the Romanian translation. For instance I
translated to sling one’s hook with the verb ‘a pleca’, to do myself in with the verb ‘a se sinucide’, as dead
as a doornail ‘mort ca un cui într-o uşă’
Despite these deformations I tried to obtain what Nida calls a formal equivalence which ‘focuses
all attention on the message itself, in both form and content’ a kind of literal translation that is
‘contextually motivated’. Nida’s ‘dynamic’ or ‘functional’ equivalence is based on ‘the principle of
equivalet effect’ where “the relationship between receptor and message should be substantially the same as
that which existed between the original receptors and the message”, if the Romanian readers have the same
response as the English readers is yet to be decided.
As Walter Benjamin posited in ‘The task of the translator’ that translation exists separately but in
conjunction with the original, coming after it, emerging from its afterlife giving the original a “continued
life”, I hope that my translation into Romanian has ensured its persistence, an ‘afterlife’ for the
“Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner”.

Chapter 3

2
2
 The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Runner Singurătatea alergătorului de cursă lungă

As soon as I got to Borstal they made me a De îndata ce am ajuns la Borstal1 m-au făcut
long-distance cross-country runner. I suppose they alergător de cursă lungă. Bănuiesc că s-au gîndit că
thought I was just the build for it because I was aveam construcţia necesară, cum eram înalt şi slab
long and skinny for my age (and still am) and in pentru vârsta mea (şi încă sunt) şi în orice caz nu m-
any case I didn't mind it much, to tell you the truth, a deranjat mult, ca să zic adevărul, pentru că în
because running had always been made much of in familia mea întotdeauna se făcuse mult caz în
our family, especially running away from the legătură cu alergatul, mai ales fugitul de poliţie.
police. I've always been a good runner, quick and Dintotdeauna am fost un bun alergător, rapid şi cu
with a big stride as well, the on1y trouble being that pasul mare, singura problemă fiind că oricît de
no matter how fast I run, and I did a very fair lick repede fugeam, şi aş zice că am făcut cu toate
even though I do say so myself, it didn't stop me acestea o treabă foarte bună în acest sens, nu m-a
getting caught by the cops after that bakery job. ajutat să nu fiu prins de poliţişti după jaful de la
brutărie.
You might think it a bit rare, having long- E posibil să pară un pic ciudat că alergători
distance cross-country runners in. Borstal, thinking de cursă lungă să fie închişi în închisoare, în
that the first thing a long-distance cross-country Borstal, când te gîndeşti că primul lucru pe care un
runner would do when they set him loose at them alergător de cros l-ar face când e lăsat liber pe acele
fields and woods would be to run as far away from câmpuri şi păduri ar fi să fugă cât mai departe de
the place as he could get on a bellyful of Borstal acolo, cât l-ar ţine o burtă plină cu poşircalionu de
slum gullion--but you're wrong, and I'll tell you Borstal - dar vă înşelaţi, şi vă zic şi de ce. Primul
why. The first thing is that them bastards over us lucru e că nenorociţii ăia de deasupra noastră nu-s
aren't as daft as they most of the time look, and for aşa de tonţi pe cât par mai tot timpul, iar pe de altă
another thing I'm not so daft as I would look if I parte nici eu nu sunt atît de tont încît să încerc să
tried to make a break for it on my long- distance scap alergând o cursă lungă, pentru că să scapi şi
running, because to abscond and then get caught is după să fi prins din nou nu e nimic decât o
nothing but a mug's game, and I'm not falling for it. tîmpenie, şi eu unul nu mă las fraierit. Şiretenia e ce
Cunning is what counts in this life, and even that contează în viaţa asta, şi chiar asta trebuie să o
you've got to use in the slyest way you can; I'm foloseşti în cel mai viclean mod posibil, îţi spun pe
telling you straight: they're cunning, and I'm şleau: ei sunt vicleni şi eu sunt viclean. Doar dacă

1
Brostal - este o închisoare juvenilă în Marea Britanie, guvernată de către Serviciul de Închisori şi are ca scop reformarea
tinerilor delicvenţi sub vârsta de 23 de ani.

2
cunning. If only 'them' and' us' had the same ideas „ei” şi „noi” am avea aceleaşi idei, ne-am înţelege
we'd get on like a house on fire, but they don't see de minune, dar noi nu gîndim la fel, nici ei ca noi, si
eye to eye with us and we don't see eye to eye with nici noi ca ei, aşa că iată cum stau lucrurile şi cum
them, so that's how it stands and how it will always vor sta întotdeauna. Chestia e că toţi suntem vicleni,
stand. The one fact is that all of us are cunning, and şi de-aia cu noi nu-i nici o pagubă-n ciuperci. Deci
because of this there's no love lost between us. So treaba este că ei de fapt ştiu că eu nu voi încerca să
the thing is that they know I won't try to get away fug: stau acolo ca nişte păianjeni în conacul ăla
from them: they sit there like spiders in that dărăpănat, cocoţaţi ca nişte cioace ţanţoşe pe
crumbly manor house, perched like jumped-up acoperiş, urmărind de deasupra aleilor şi a
jackdaws on the roof, watching out over the drives câmpurilor ca generalii nemţi de pe turelele
and fields like German generals from the tops of tancurilor. Chiar şi când alerg încet în spatele unui
tanks. And even when I jogtrot on behind a wood trunchi de copac şi nu mă mai pot vedea, ei ştiu că
and they can't see me anymore they know my capul meu cu pletele dese-învălurate va apărea
sweeping-brush head will bob along that hedge-top sâltând de deasupra gardului cam într-o oră şi că mă
in an hour's time and that I'll report to the bloke on voi prezenta la tipul de la poartă. Pentru că atunci
the gate. Because when on a raw and frosty când ma trezesc într-o dimineaţă geroasă la cinci
morning I get up at five o'clock and stand shivering dimineaţa şi stau tremurând cu burta goală pe
my belly off on the stone floor and all the rest still podeaua de piatră şi când toţi ceilalţi mai au o oră în
have another hour to snooze before the bells go, I plus să moţăie înainte ca clopotele să sune, mă
slink downstairs through all the corridors to the big strecor jos prin toate coridoarele, afară pe uşa cea
outside door with a permit running-card in my fist, mare cu permisul de alergat în pumn, mă simt, în
I feel like the first and last man on the world, both acelaşi timp ca primul şi ultimul om de pe pământ,
at once, if you can believe what I'm trying to say. I dacă puteţi întelege ce încerc să zic. Mă simt ca
feel like the first man because I've hardly got a primul om pentru că de abia dacă am o haină pe
stitch on and am sent against the frozen fields in a mine şi sunt trimis în câmpurile îngheţate doar într-
shimmy and shorts--even the first poor bastard o cămaşă si pantaloni scurţi – chiar şi primul
dropped on to the earth in midwinter knew how to nenorocit aruncat pe pământ în mijlocul iernii ştia
make a suit of leaves, or how to skin a pterodactyl cum să-şi facă un costum din frunze, sau cum să
for a topcoat. jupoaie un pterodactyl ca să-şi facă un cojoc.

2
 But there I am, frozen stiff, with nothing to Dar iată-mă îngheţat bocnă cu nimic care să-
get me warm except a couple of hours' long- mi ţină cald afară de vreo două ceasuri de alergat
distance running before breakfast, not even a slice înainte de micul dejun, nici măcar o felie de pâine
of bread-and-sheepdip. They're training me up fine cu pesticide pentru oi. Mă antrenează foarte bine
for the big sports day when all the pig-faced snotty- pentru marea zi a sportului când toţi ducii si
nosed dukes and-ladies who can't add two and two doamnele cu feţele de porc şi cu nasul ca rîtul –
together and would mess themselves like loonies if care nu pot să socotească doi şi cu doi şi ar fi vai şi-
they didn't have slavies to beck-and-call-come and amar de capul lor dacă nu ar avea sclavi la comandă
make speeches to us about sports being just the – vin să ne ţină discursuri despre cum sportul este
thing to get us leading an honest life and keep our tocmai calea spre o viaţă cinstită şi cum ne poate
itching finger-ends off them shop locks and safe ţine degetele nerăbdătoare departe de lacătele
handles and hairgrips to open gas meters. magazinelor, mânerele safe-urilor si clamele cu care
They give us a bit of blue ribbon and a cup for a se deschid contoarele benzinăriilor. Ne dau o bucată
prize after we've shagged ourselves out running or de panglică albastră şi o cupă ca premiu după ce ne-
jumping, like race horses, only we don't get so well am trudit pînă peste cap alergând sau sărind ca nişte
looked-after as race horses, that's the only thing. cai de curse, doar că noi nu suntem aşa de bine
îngrijiţi precum cai de curse, asta e toată chestia.
So there I am, standing in the doorway in Deci iată-mă, stând în prag în cămaşa şi
shimmy and shorts, not even a dry crust in my guts, pantaloni scurţi, fără o firmitură în burtă, privind
looking out at frosty flowers on the ground. I afară florile îngheţate de pe pământ. Bănuiesc că vă
suppose you think this is enough to make me cry? găndiţi că e îndeajuns să mă facă să plâng? Nu
Not likely. Just because I feel like the first bloke in chiar. Doar pentru că mă simt ca primul tip de pe
the world wouldn't make me bawl. It makes me feel Pământ nu este suficient să mă facă să smiorcăi. Mă
fifty times better than when I'm cooped up in that face să mă simt de cincizeci de ori mai bine decât
dormitory with three hundred others. No, it's când sunt înghesuit în acel dormitor cu înca trei
sometimes when I stand there feeling like the last sute. Nu, e atunci când stau acolo când mă simt ca
man in the world that I don't feel so good. I feel ultimu om de pe Pământ când nu mă simt prea bine.
like the last man in the world because I think that Mă simt ca ultimu om de pe Pământ pentru că cred
all those three hundred sleepers behind me are că toţi cei trei sute de adormiţi din urma mea, sunt

2
dead. They sleep so well I think that every scruffy morţi. Toţi dorm aşa de adânc încăt cred că fiecare
head's kicked the bucket in the night and I'm the cap murdar a dat colţu în timpul nopţii iar eu sunt
only one left, and when I look out into the bushes ultimul rămas, şi când ma uit la tufişuri şi la lacul
and frozen ponds I have the feeling that it's going to îngheţat am senzaţia că se va face din ce în ce mai
get colder and colder until everything I can see, frig, pană când tot ce văd, inclusiv mâinile mele
meaning my red arms as well, is going to be roşii, va fi acoperit cu mile si mile de gheaţă, tot
covered with a thousand miles of ice, all the earth, pământul, până la cer, si tot ce e pământ sau mare.
right up to the sky and over every bit of land and Atunci încerc să alung acest sentiment şi să mă
sea. So I try to kick this feeling out and act like I'm comport ca primul om de pe Pământ. Asta mă face
the first man on earth. And that makes me fee] să mă simt bine, şi de îndată ce am m-am încălzit
good, so as soon as I'm steamed up enough to get destul încăt să am această senzaţie în mine, fac un
this feeling in me, I take a flying leap out of the salt pe uşă şi dus sunt.
doorway, and off I trot.
I'm in Essex. It's supposed to be a good Sunt în Exxex. Se presupune că închisoare
Borstal, at least that's what the governor said to me asta juvenilă e una bună cel puţin asta e ce mi-a zis
when I got here from Nottingham. "We want to directorul când am ajuns aici din Nottingham.
trust you while you are in this establishment," he “Vrem să avem încredere in tine cât timp eşti aici în
said, smoothing out his newspaper with lily-white această instituţie” a spus, îndreptând ziarul cu
workless hands, while I read the big words upside mâinile sale nemuncite alb-rozalii, în timp ce eu
down: Daily Telegraph. "If you play ball with us, citeam literele mari de sus în jos: Daily Telegraph :
we'll play ball with you." (Honest to God, you'd Dacă cooperezi cu noi, vom coopera cu tine(A zis-o
have thought it was going to be one long tennis pe bune, ca şi cum era vorba de un meci de tenis.
match.) “We want hard honest work and we want „Vrem muncă cinistită şi vrem antrenamente
good athletics," he said as well. “And if you give us atletice bune” a adăugat. Iar dacă ne vei da aceste
both these things you can be sure we'll do right by lucruri poţi fi sigur că ne vom purta bine cu tine şi
you and send you back into the world an honest te vom trimite în lume un om cinistit. Păi, cred ca aş
man." Well, I could have died laughing, especially fi putut muri de râs mai ales când imediat după asta
when straight after this I hear the barking sergeant- am auzit vocea lătrată a segrentului-major strigând
major's voice calling me and two others to attention după mine şi alţi doi mărşăluindu-ne de parcă ar fi

2
and marching us off like we was Grenadier Guards. fost membru al Brigăzii regale. Iar când directorul
And when the governor kept saying how ‘we' tot o ţinea cu „noi” vrem ca tu să faci asta şi “noi”
wanted you to do this, and ‘we' wanted you to do vrem ca tu să faci ailaltă, eu mă tot uitam în jur să-i
that, I kept looking round for the other blokes, descopăr pe ceilalţi, întrebându-mă câţi or fi.
wondering how many of them there was. Of course, Bineînteles că ştiam că sunt mii dar din câte
I knew there were thousands of them, but as far as I vedeam, numai unu era în cameră.
knew only one was in the room.
And there are thousands of them, all over the Şi sunt mii de felul ăsta, peste tot în căcatu asta de
poxeaten country, in shops, offices, railway ţară, în magazine, birouri, staţii de cale ferată,
stations, cars, houses, pubs ---In-law blokes like maşini, case, pub-uri – oameni care respectă legea
you and them, all on the watch for Out-law blokes ca voi şi ca ei, toţi cu ochii pe cei din afara legii, cei
like me and us--and waiting to phone for the ca mine şi noi – aşteptând să sune poliţia de îndată
coppers as soon as we make a false move. And it'll ce facem o mişcare greşită. Şi tot timpul vor fi
always be there, I'll tell you that now, because 1 acolo, vă spun asta acum, pentru că nu am terminat
haven't finished making all my false moves yet, and încă cu mişcările greşite, şi aş îndrăzni să spun că
I dare say I won't until I kick the bucket. If the In- nu voi termina până nu voi da colţu. Iar dacă
laws are hoping to stop me making false moves oamenii cinstiţi speră să mă oprească să fac mişcării
they're wasting their time. They might as well stand greşite îşi pierd timpul. Ar putea la fel de bine să mă
me up against a wall and let fly with a dozen rifles, pună la zid şi să tragă cu o duzină de puşti. Asta e
that's the only way they'll stop me, and a few singura cale să mă oprească, pe mine şi pe încă
million others. Because I've been doing a lot of vreun milion ca mine. Pentru că m-am gândit mult
thinking since coming here. They can spy on us all de când am venit aici. Pot să ne spioneze toată ziua
day to see if we're pulling our puddings and if we're să vadă dacă ne mâncăm budincile sau dacă
working good or doing our ‘athletics' but they can't muncim bine sau dacă ne antrenăm dar nu pot să ne
make an X-ray of our guts to find out what we're radiografieze gândurile şi să vadă ce ne spunem noi
telling ourselves. I've been asking myself all sorts nouă înşine. Mi-am pus tot felu de întrebări şi m-am
of questions, and thinking about my life up to now. gândit la viaţa mea până acum. Îmi place să fac
And I like doing all this. It's a treat. It passes the asta. E o plăcere. Face ca timpul să treacă mai
time away and don't make Borstal seem half so bad repede şi face ca Brostal-ul să nu pară nici pe

2
as the boys in our street used to say it was. jumătate atât de rău pe cât ziceau băieţii de pe
And this long-distance running lark is the best of strada noastră că este. Iar treaba asta cu alergatul
all, because it makes me think so good that I learn curselor lungi este cea mai bună dintre toate, pentru
things even better than when I'm on my bed at că mă face să gândesc aşa de mult încăt învăţ
night. And apart from that, what with thinking so lucruri chiar mai uşor decât când sunt în pat
much while I'm running I'm getting to be one of the noaptea. Şi în afara de astea, cu tot gânditul ăsta
best runners in the Borstal. I can go my five miles mult în timp ce alerg mă vor transforma în cel mai
round better than anybody else I know. bun alergător din Brostal. Pot alerga 8 kilometri mai
bine decăt oricine ştiu eu.
So as soon as I tell myself I'm the first man Deci îndată ce îmi spun că sunt primul om
ever to be dropped into the world, and as soon as I care a fost aruncat în această lume, şi de îndată ce
take that first flying leap out into the frosty grass of fac primul salt în iarba îngheţată a unei dimineţi
an early morning when even birds haven't the heart când până şi păsările nu au curajul să ciripească,
to whistle, I get to thinking, and that's what I like. I încep să gândesc, şi asta e ce îmi place. Îmi fac
go my rounds in a dream, turning at lane or turele ca într-un vis, cotind la o alee sau la colţul
footpath corners without knowing I'm turning, unei poteci fără să îmi dau seama că mă întorc,
leaping brooks without knowing they're there, and sărind peste pîrîie fără să ştiu că sunt acolo, strigând
shouting good morning to the early cow-milker Bună dimineaţa celui ce mulge vaca dis de
without seeing him. It's a treat, being a long- dimineaţă fără ca măcar să-l văd. E o plăcere să fii
distance runner, out in the world by yourself with un alergător de cursă lungă, singur pe lume fără un
not a soul to make you bad-tempered or tell you suflet care să te prostdispună sau care să-ţi zică ce
what to do or that there's a shop to break and enter să faci sau care să-ţi spună că e un magazin de
a bit back from the next street. spart, unde se poate intra de un pic de mai în spate
Sometimes I think that I've never been so free as din strada alăturată. Câteodată mă găndesc că nu am
during that couple of hours when I'm trotting up the fost niciodată aşa de liber ca în timpul acelor
path out of the gates and turning by that bare-faced, câtorva ore când păşeam pe cărare, ieşind pe poartă,
big-bellied oak tree at the lane end. Everything's cotind lângă acel stejar burtos cu scoarţa cojită de la
dead, but good, because it's dead before coming capătul potecii. Totul este mort, dar bun, pentru că e
alive; not dead after being alive. mort înainte de a prinde viaţă nu mort după ce a fost

3
 That's how I look at it. Mind you, I often feel în viaţă. Aşa privesc eu lucrurile. Totuşi uneori mă
frozen stiff at first. I can't feel my hands or feet or simt îngheţat bocnă la început. Nu îmi simt deloc
flesh at all, like I'm a ghost who wouldn't know the mâinile, nici picioarele sau carnea pe mine, ca şi
earth was under him if he didn't see it now and cum aş fi o fantomă care nu ar şti de existenţa
again through the mist. pământului de sub ea dacă nu l-ar vedea din când în
But even though some people would call this frost- când prin ceaţă. Chiar dacă unii ar numi această
pain suffering if they wrote about it to their mams suferinţă, degerătură dacă le-ar scrie mamelor lor o
in a letter, I don't, because I know that in half an scrisoare, eu nu o văd aşa, pentru că ştiu că într-o
hour I'm going to be warm, that by the time I get to jumătate de oră o să mă încălzesc, iar când voi
the main road and am turning on to the wheatfield ajunge la şosea şi voi coti spre cărarea dealungu
footpath by the bus stop I'm going to feel as hot as cămpului cu grău, în dreptul staţiei de autobus voi fi
a potbellied stove and as happy as a dog with a tin atât de înfierbântat ca un cuptor burtos şi la fel de
tail. fericit ca un câine cu coada de tablă.
It's a good life, I'm saying to myself, if you E o viaţă bună îmi spun mie, dacă nu te
don't give in to coppers and Borstal-bosses and the predai poliţailor şi nici şefilor de la Brostal şi nici
rest of them bastard-faced In-laws. Trot-trot-trot. restului de nenorociţi care respectă legea.Trot-trot-
Puff-puff-puff. Slap-slap-slap go my feet on the trot. Puff-puff-puff. Slap-slap-slap îmi merg
hard soil. Swish-swish-swish as my arms and side picioarele pe pământul tare. Swiş-swiş-swiş Fiss-
catch the bare branches of a bush. For I'm fiss-fiss cum braţele şi coastele se agaţă de crengile
seventeen now, and when they let me out of this--if goale ale unui tufiş. Am şaptesprezece ani acum, iar
I don't make a break and see that things turn out când îmi vor da drumu de aici- dacă nu fug şi am
otherwise-they'll try to get me in the army, and grijă ca lucrurile să iasă altfel – o să încerce să mă
what's the difference between the army and this bage în armată, şi care e diferenţa între armată şi
place I'm in now? They can't kid me, the bastards. locul ăsta unde sunt acum? Nu mă pot înşela,
I've seen the barracks near where I live, and if there ticăloşii. Am văzut barăciile din apropierea casei
weren't swaddies on guard outside with rifles you unde stau, şi dacă nu ar fi soldaţii de gardă cu
wouldn't know the difference between their high puştile nu ai şti diferenţa între zidurile lor înalte si
walls and the place I'm in now. Even though the locul în care sunt acum. Ce dacă soldaţii ies în
swaddies come out at odd times a week for a pint of momentele de râgaz, săptămânal la o halbă de bere?

3
ale, so what? Don't I come out three mornings a Nu ies şi eu trei dimineţi pe săptămână la alergat o
week on my long-distance running, which is fifty cursă lungă, ceea ce este de cinzeci de ori mai bine
times better than boozing. When they first said that decât trasul la măsea. Când mi-au zis pentru prima
I was to do my long-distance running without a dată că voi alerga singur fără un paznic pedalând
guard pedalling beside me on a bike I couldn't lângă mine pe o bicicletă, nu am putut să cred; ei l-
believe it; but they called it a progressive and au numit un loc progresist şi modern, deşi nu mă
modern place, though they can't kid me because I pot amăgi pentru că ştiu că e ca oricare alt Brostal ,
know it's just like any other Borstal, going by the ascultând poveştile pe care le-am auzit, doar că mă
stories I've heard, except that they let me trot about lasă să alerg aşa cum au făcut-o.
like this.
Borstal's Borstal no matter what they do; but Brostal e Brostal orice ar face, doar m-am plâns că
anyway I moaned about it being a bit thick sending e cam neplăcut să mă trimită aşa de dimineaţă să
me out so early to run five miles on an empty alerg 8 kilometri pe stomacu gol, până când m-au
stomach, until they talked me round to thinking it convins că nu e aşa de rău – ceea ce ştiam şi eu din
wasn't so bad-which I knew all the time--until they totdeauna – până când mi-au zis că sunt de treabă şi
called me a good sport and patted me on the back m-au bătut pe umăr când am acceptat şi le-am zis că
when I said I'd do it and that I'd try to win them the voi încerca să le câştig premiul cu panglică albastră
Borstal Blue Ribbon Prize Cup For Long Distance la Cupa de Cross Country între Brostaluri (pe toată
Cross Country Running (All England). And now, Anglia). Iar acum directorul vorbeşte cu mine când
the governor talks to me when he comes on his vine în vizită aproape cum ar vorbi cu calul său de
rounds, almost as he'd talk to his prize race horse, if curse, dacă ar avea unul.
he had one.
"All right, Smith?" he asks. “Yes, sir," I answer. “Eşti în regulă Smith” întreabă.
He flicks his grey moustache: "How's the running “Da domnule” îi răspund. Atingându-şi
coming along?" mustaţa gri: “Cum merge alergatul?”
"I've set myself to trot round the grounds after “M-am decis să alerg şi după cină doar ca
dinner just to keep my hand in, sir," I tell him. să-mi păstrez antrenamentul” i-am zis.
The pot-bellied pop-eyed bastard gets pleased at Burtosul cu ochii ieşiţi din orbite devine încăntat la
this: "Good show. I know you'll get us that cup," he auzul acestora: “ Foarte bine. Ştiu că ne vei aduce

3
says. cupa” spune.
And I swear under my breath: "Like Îmi zic în bărbie: “Pe naiba, o să v-o aduc”.
boggery, I will." No, I won't get them that cup, Nu, nu am să le căştig premiul chiar dacă
even though the stupid tash-titching bastard has all nenorocitu ăsta care-şi răsuceşte mustaţa, şi-a pus
his hopes in me. toate speranţele în mine.
Because what does his barmy hope mean? I ask Pentru că ce înseamnă până la urmă speranţele lui
myself. Trot-trot-trot, slap-slap-slap, over the nesăbuite? mă întreb. Trot-trot-trot, slap-slap-slap,
stream and into the wood where it's almost dark sar peste rău şi intru în pădure unde e aproape
and frosty--dew twigs sting my legs. It don't mean a întuneric iar crenguţele îngheţate cu rouă îmi
bloody thing to me, only to him, and it means as înţeapă picioarele. Pentru mine nu contează câtuşi
much to him as it would mean to me if I picked up de puţin, doar pentru el, şi contează pentru el cam
the racing paper and put my bet on a hoss I didn't cât ar conta pentru mine dacă aş lua un ziar de
know, had never seen, and didn't care a sod if I ever pariuri şi aş paria pe un cal necunoscut, pe care nu
did see. That's what it means to him. And I’ll lose l-am văzut niciodată, şi nici nu mi-ar păsa dacă l-aş
that race, because I'm not a race horse at all, and I'll vedea vreodată. Cam asta contează pentru el. Şi voi
let him know it when I'm about to get out--if I don't pierde cursa aceia, pentru că nu sunt un cal de
sling my hook even before the race. curse, şi o să i-o spun când voi fi aproape de
plecarea de aici – asta dacă nu o voi şterge chiar
By Christ I will. I'm a human being and I've got înaintea cursei. Dumnezeule o voi face. Sunt o
thoughts and secrets and bloody life inside me that fiinţă umană, am gânduri şi secrete şi viaţă în mine
he doesn't know is there, and he'll never know despre care nu ştie că sunt acolo, şi nici nu va şti ce
what's there because he's stupid. I suppose you'll este acolo pentru că e prost. Probabil veţi râde de
laugh at this, me saying the governor's a stupid mine când zic că directorul este un nenorocit prost
bastard when I know hardly how to write and he când eu deabia ştiu să scriu în timp ce el citeşte,
can read and write and add-up like a professor. But scrie şi adună ca un profesor. Dar ce spun eu, e
what I say is true right enough. He's stupid, and I'm adevărat. El e prost, iar eu nu sunt, pentru că eu văd
not, because I can see further into the likes of him mai mult în cei ca el decât poate el să vadă în cei ca
than he can see into the likes of me. Admitted, mine. Admit că amândoi suntem vicleni, dar eu sunt
we're both cunning, but I'm more cunning and I'll mai viclean decât el şi voi căştiga la sfărşit chiar

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win in the end even if I die in gaol at eighty-two, dacă o să mor în puşcărie la optzeci şi doi de ani,
because I'll have more fun and fire out of my life pentru că eu o să mă distrez mai bine şi o să am
than he'll ever get out of his. He's read a thousand mai multă pasiune în viaţă decât o să aibă el în a lui.
bocks I suppose, and for all I know he might even A citit vreo mie de cărţi, bănuiesc, şi e posibil chiar
have written a few, but I know for a dead cert, as să fi scris câteva, dar sunt sigur, cum ştiu cu
sure as I'm sitting here, that what I'm scribbling siguranţă că stau aici, că ceea ce scrîjelesc aici e de
down is worth a million to what he could ever un milion de ori mai valoros decât orice ar fi putut
scribble down. I don't care what anybody says, but să scrie el vreodată. Nu-mi pasă de ce spune
that's the truth and can't be denied. I know when he oricine, ăsta e adevărul şi nu poate fi contrazis. Ştiu
talks to me and I look into his army mug that I'm atunci când îmi vorbeşte şi când îi privesc moaca de
alive and he's dead. He's as dead as a doornail. If he armată că eu sunt în viaţă şi el e mort. E mort ca un
ran ten yards he'd drop dead. If he got ten yards cui într-o uşă. Dacă ar alerga vreo 9 metri ar cădea
into what goes on in my guts he'd drop dead as jos mort. Şi dacă ar afla ce e înăuntru meu ar cădea
well-with surprise. At the moment it's dead blokes jos mort din cauza şocului. În momentul de faţă tipii
like him as have the whip-hand over blokes like morţi ca el au puterea şi biciul asupra tipilor ca
me, and I'm almost dead sure it'll always be like mine, şi sunt aproape sigur că întotdeauna va fi aşa,
that, but even so, by Christ, I'd rather belike I am-- dar şi aşa, pentru Dumnezeu, aş vrea mai bine să fiu
always on the run and breaking into shops for a cum sunt – tot timpul pe fugă, spărgând magazine
packet of fags and a jar of jam--than have the whip- pentru un pachet de ţigări şi un borcan de gem,
hand over somebody else and be dead from the toe decât să am puterea si biciul asupra cuiva şi să fiu
nails up. Maybe as soon as you get the whip-hand mort de la unghiile de la picioare în sus. Poate că de
over some- body you do go dead. By God, to say îndată ce ai putere asupra cuiva mori instant. Pentru
that last sentence has needed a few hundred miles numele lui Dumnezeu, ca să pot spune ultima
of long-distance running. I could no more have said propoziţie a fost nevoie de cursă de alergat a
that at first than I could have took a million-pound câtorva sute de kilometri. Nu puteam spune asta de
note from my back pocket. But it's true, you know, la început la fel cum nu puteam să scot din
now I think of it again, and has always been true, buzunarul din spate o bacnotă de un milion de lire
and always will be true, and I'm surer of it every sterline. Dar e adevărat, şti, acum când mă gândesc
time I see the governor open that door and say din nou, a fost întotdeauna adevărat, şi întotdeauna

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Goodmorning lads. va fi adevărat, şi sunt cu atât mai convins de fiecare
dată când îl văd pe director deschizând uşa şi
spunându-ne Buna dimineaţa băieţi.
As I run and see my smoky breath going out Pe măsură ce alerg şi îmi văd respiraţia
into the air as if I had ten cigars stuck in different fumurie ieşind în aer de parcă aş avea zece ţigări
parts of my body I think more on the little speech înfipte în diferite părţi ale corpului cu atât mă
the governor made when I first came. Honesty. Be gândesc mai mult la micul discurs pe care directorul
honest. I laughed so much one morning I went ten l-a ţinut când am venit prima oară. Onestitate. Fii
minutes down in my timing because I had to stop cinstit. Am râs atâta într-o dimineaţă că am ajuns cu
and get rid of the stitch in my side. The governor zece minute mai târziu decât de obicei pentru că a
was so worried when I got back late that he sent me trebuit să mă opresc şi să scap de înţepăturile din
to the doctor's for an X-ray and heart check. Be coaste. Directorul a fost atât de îngrijorat când m-
honest. It's like saying: Be dead, like me, and then am întors încât m-a trimis la medic pentru o
you'll have no more pain of leaving your nice radiografie şi o verificare a inimii. Fii cinstit. E ca şi
slummy house for Borstal or prison. Be honest and cum ai zice: Fii mort, ca şi mine, şi atunci nu vei
settle down in a cosy six pounds a week job. Well, mai avea probleme să-ţi părăseşti casa din mahala
even with all this long-distance running I haven't pentru Brostal sau închisoare. Fii cinstit şi aceptă o
yet been able to decide what he means by this, slujbă călduţă cu 6 lire pe săptămână. Păi, nici cu
although I'm just about beginning to --and I don't tot alergatu ăsta nu am ajuns să înteleg bine ce vrea
like what it means. Because after all my thinking I să zică, deşi am început să înteleg – şi nu-mi place
found that it adds up to something that can't be true ce înseamnă. Pentru că după tot gânditul ăsta am
about me, being born and brought up as I was. înteles că se rezumă la ceva ce nu poate fi adevărat
despre mine, nu când te-ai născut şi ai crescut aşa
Because an- other thing people like the governor cum am fost eu. Pentru că un alt lucru pe care
will never understand is that I am honest, that I've oamenii ca directorul, nu o să-l înţeleagă niciodată e
never been anything else but honest, and that I'll că eu sunt cinstit, că nu am fost niciodată altceva
always be honest. Sounds funny. But it's true decât cinstit, şi că tot timpul voi si cinstit. Sună
because I know what honest means according to me ciudat. Dar este adevărat pentru că ştiu ce înseamnă
and he only knows what it means according to him: cinstit după mine iar el ştie ce e cinstit doar după el,

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I think my honesty is the only sort in the world, and cred că onestitatea e doar una în lumea asta, iar el
he thinks his is the only sort in the world as well. gândeşte la fel ca şi mine. De aceea acest mare
That's why this dirty great walled-up and fenced-up conac jegos împrejmuit de ziduri şi garduri în
manor house in the middle of nowhere has been mijlocul pustiătăţii a fost folosit să înghesuie tipi ca
used to coop-up blokes like me. And if I had the mine. Dacă aş fi eu cel cu biciul nu m-aş deranja să
whip-hand I wouldn't even bother to build a place construiesc un loc ca ăsta doar ca să-i adun pe toţi
like this to put all the cops, governors, posh poliţiştii, directori, curvele elegante, funcţionarii,
whores, penpushers, army officers, Members of ofiţerii armatei, membrii parlamentului ; nu, i-aş
Parliament in; no, I'd stick them up against a wall pune pe toţi la zid şi le-aş face felul, cum au făcut
and let them have it, like they'd have done with cu noi acum câţiva ani, şi asta dacă ar şti vreodată
blokes like us years ago, that is, if they'd ever ce înseamnă să fii cinstit, ceea ce nu ştiu şi
known what it means to be honest, which they don't niciodată nu vor şti, aşa să mă ajute Dumnezeu
and never will so help me God Almighty. Atotputernic.
I was nearly eighteen months in Borstal Eram de aproape optsprezece luni în Brostal
before I thought about getting out. I can't tell you înainte de a mă gândi la evadare. Nu prea pot spune
much about what it was like there because I haven't multe despre cum era, pentru că nu ma pricep la
got the hang of describing buildings or saying how descrierea clădirilor sau să zic câte scaune
many crumby chairs and slatted windows make a sărăcăcioase sau câte geamuri cu şipci sunt într-o
room. Neither can I do much complaining, because cameră. Nici nu mă pot plânge mult, ca să zic
to tell you the truth I didn't suffer in Borstal at all. I adevărul, nu am suferit deloc in Brostal. Am dat
gave the same answer a pal of mine gave when acelaşi răspuns pe care l-a dat un prieten de al meu
someone asked him how much he hated it in the când cineva l-a întrebat cât de mult a urât armata.
army. "I didn't hate it," he said. "They fed me, gave „Nu am urât-o” a răspuns. „M-au hrănit, m-au
me a suit, and pocket-money, which was a bloody îmbrăcat si mi-au dat banii de buzunar, ceea ce era
sight more than I ever got before, unless I worked grozav, cu mult mai mult decât văzusem eu până
myself to death for it, and most of the time they atunci, doar dacă nu aş fi lucrat ca un sclav pentru
wouldn't let me work but sent me to the dole office ei, iar cel mai des nici nu mă lăsau să muncesc ci
twice a week." Well, that's more or less what I say. mă trimiteau pe la biroul de şomaj de două ori pe
Borstal didn't hurt me in that respect, so since I've săptămână”. Cam asta e ce zic. Brostal nu mi-a

3
got no complaints I don't have to describe what făcut nimic în aspectul ăsta, şi cum nu am nici o
they gave us to eat, what the dorms were like, or plângere, nu e necesar să descriu ce ne-au dat să
how they treated us. But in another way Borstal mâncăm, cum erau camerele, sau cum ne tratau.
does something to me. No, it doesn't get my back Dar pe de altă parte, Brostal îmi face ceva. Nu, nu
up, because it's always been up, right from when I ma enervează pentru că tot timpul am fost iritat, de
was born. What it does do is show me what they've când m-am născut. Ceea ce îmi face e să-mi arate
been trying to frighten me with. They've got other cu ce vroiau ei să me sperie. Au ei, şi alte lucruri
things as well, like prison and, in the end, the rope. cum ar fi închisoarea, iar în final, spânzurătoarea. E
It's like me rushing up to thump a man and snatch ca şi cum aş lovi un om să-i smulg haina de pe spate
the coat off his back when, suddenly, I pull up când, dintr-o dată, mă retrag, pentru că scoate brusc
because he whips out a knife and lifts it to stick me un cuţit ca să mă înjunghie ca pe un porc dacă mă
like a pig if I come too close. That knife is Borstal, apropri de el. Cuţitul acela este Brostal, este
clink, the rope. But once you've seen the knife you închisoarea, este spânzurătoarea. Dar de îndată ce ai
learn a bit of unarmed combat. văzut acel fel de cuţit înveţi un pic despre luptă
You have to, because you’ll never get that sort of neînarmată. Trebuie să înveţi, pentru că tu niciodată
knife in your own hands, and this unarmed combat nu o să ai în mâinile tale acel fel de cuţit, iar această
doesn't amount to much. Still, there it is, and you luptă neînarmată nu e mare lucru. Totuşi, e acolo,
keep on rushing up to this man, knife or not, hoping iar tu continui să goneşti după omul ăsta, cu cuţit
to get one of your hands on his wrist and the other sau nu, sperând să-i poţi prinde în acelaşi timp
on his elbow both at the same time, and press back încheietura cu o mână iar cu cealaltă cotul, să-l
until he drops the knife. forţezi înapoi până când îi dă drumul cuţitului.
You see, by sending me to Borstal they've Vedeţi, prin faptul că m-au trimsi la Brostal,
shown me the knife, and from now on I know mi-au arătat cuţitul, iar de acum înainte ştiu ceva ce
something I didn't know before: that it's war înainte nu ştiam: că e un război între mine şi ei. De
between me and them. I always knew this, fapt ştiam de mult lucrul ăsta, cum eu am fost şi la
naturally, because I was in Remand Homes as well şcoala de corecţie, iar băieţii de acolo mi-au zis
and the boys there told me a lot about their brothers multe despre fraţii lor din Brostal, dar atunci nu era
in Borstal, but it was only touch and go then, like ceva important, era un joc, ca şi cum ai face
kittens, like boxing-gloves, like dobbie. But now mănuşi, o prostie. Acum că mi-au arătat cuţitul,

3
that they've shown me the knife, whether I ever chiar dacă o să mai fur sau nu un lucru în viaţa mea,
pinch another thing in my life again or not, I know acum ştiu cine îmi sunt duşmanii şi ce înseamnă
who my enemies are and what war is. They can războiul. Pot să arunce toate bombele atomice din
drop all the atom bombs they like for all I care: I’ll partea mea: eu nu îl voi numi niciodată război şi
never call it war and wear a soldier's uniform, nici nu voi purta uniforma de soldat, pentru că eu
because I'm in a different sort of war, that they sunt în alt fel de război, cel pe care ei îl consideră
think is child's play. The war they think is war is joacă de copii. Războiul pe care ei îl numesc război
suicide, and those that go and get killed in war e sinucidere, iar cei care se înrolează şi devin buni
should be put in clink for attempted suicide because la asta ar trebui să fie închişi pentru încercare de
that's the feeling in blokes' minds when they rush to sinucidere, pentru că ăsta e sentimentul din minţile
join up or let themselves be called up. I know, lor când se grăbesc să se înscrie sau când se lasă
because I've thought how good it would be înrolaţi. Ştiu pentru că mă gândesc uneori ce bine ar
sometimes to do myself in and the easiest way to fi dacă mi-aş face felul, iar cea mai uşoară cale e,
do it, it occurred to me, was to hope for a big war mi s-a năzărit mie, să sper la un mare război că să
so's I could join up and get killed. But I got past mă pot înrola şi să fiu ucis. Dar am trecut de etapa
that when I knew I already was in a war of my own, asta când mi-am dat seama că sunt deja într-un
that I was born into one, that I grew up hearing the război al meu, că m-am născut într-unul, că am
sound of 'old soldiers' who'd been over the top at crescut ascultând sunetul „veteranilor” care săriseră
Dartmoor, half-killed at Lincoln, trapped in no- din tranşee la Dartmoor, care fuseseră aproape ucişi
man's-land at Borstal, that sounded louder than any la Lincoln, prinşi în pămăntul nimănui la Brostal,
Jerry bombs. lucru ce face mai mult zgomot decât orice bombă
Government wars aren't my wars; they've germană. Războaiele guvernului nu sunt războaiele
got nowt to do with me; because my own war's all mele, nu au nimic de a face cu mine, pentru că doar
that I'll ever be bothered about. I remember when I războiul meu mă interesează. Îmi aduc aminte când
was fourteen and I went out into the country with aveam paisprezece ani şi m-am dus la ţară cu trei
three of my cousins, all about the same age, who verişori de ai mei, toţi cam de aceeaşi vârstă, care
later went to different Borstals, and then to mai târziu au ajuns la diferite Brostal-uri, apoi la
different regiments, from which they soon deserted, diferite regimente, de unde au dezertat repede, si de
and then to different gaols where they still are as acolo la diferite închisori unde încă sunt după câte

3
far as I know. But anyway, we were all kids then, ştiu eu. Oricum eram copii atunci, vara aceia
and wanted to go out to the woods for a change, to vroiam să mergem în pădure ca să facem ceva
get away from the roads of stinking hot tar one diferit, ca să scăpăm de drumurile ce miroseau a
summer. We climbed over fences and went through smoală încinsă. Am sărit garduri şi am luat-o pe
fields, scrumping a few sour apples on our way, câmp, şterpelind câteva mere pădureţe în drumul
until we saw the wood about a mile off. Up nostru, până când am văzut pădurea la câţiva metrii
Colliers' Pad we heard another lot of kids talking in depărtare. Sus la casa lui Collier am auzit un alt
high-school voices behind a hedge. We crept up on grup de copii de liceu vorbind în spatele unui gard
them and peeped through the brambles, and saw viu. Ne-am furişat până la ei şi am tras cu ochiul
they were eating a picnic, a real posh spread out of prin muri şi am văzut că mâncau un adevărat picnic,
baskets and flasks and towels. There must have aveau întinse coşuri, carafe şi prosoape elegante.
been about seven of them, lads and girls sent out by Erau cam şapte, băieţi şi fete trimişi de părinţii lor
their mams and dads for the afternoon. So we went afară pentru după-amiază. Atunci ne-am tîrît pe
on our bellies through the hedge like crocodiles and burţi prin gardul viu, ca nişte crocodili şi i-am
surrounded them, and then dashed into the middle, înconjurat iar apoi ne-am năpustit asupra lor în
scattering the fire and batting their tabs and centru împrăştiind focul şi înfăşcând tot ce era de
snatching up ail there was to eat, then running off mâncare, apoi fugind prin livada Cherry spre
over Cherry Orchard fields into the wood, with a pădure, cu un om pe urmele noastre care apăruse
man chasing us who'd come up while we were când noi le jefuiam picnicul. Am reuşit să scăpăm
ransacking their picnic. We got away all right, and destul de uşor, şi am obţinut şi o mâncare bună,
had a good feed into the bargain, because we'd been pentru că eram hămesiţi şi de abia aşteptam să ne
clambed to death and couldn't wait long enough to înfigem colţii în salata aceia fragedă şi acele
get our chops ripping into them thin lettuce and sandvişuri cu şuncă si acele prăjituri cu cremă.
ham sandwiches and creamy cakes.
Well, I'll always feel during every bit of my Pe parcurs fiecărui moment al vieţii mele am simţit
life like those daft kids should have felt before we cum s-au simţit acei copii neghiobi înainte să-i
broke them up. But they never dreamed that what despărţim noi. Nu au visat niciodată că ce s-a
happened was going to happen, just like the întămplat avea să se întămple, la fel cum directorul
governor of this Borstal who spouts to us about acestui Brostal care tot ne vorbeşte despre cinste şi

3
honesty and all that wappy stuff don't know a toate lucrurile alea mărunte despe care nu ştie
bloody thing, while I know every minute of my life nimic, pe când eu ştiu în fiecare minut al vieţii mele
that a big boot is always likely to smash any nice că un mare bocanc stă să lovească orice picnic
picnic I might be barmy and dishonest enough to frumos pe care mi l-aş putea pregăti dacă aş fi
make for myself. I admit that there've been times destul de ţăcănit sau necinstit cu mine. Trebuie să
when I've thought of telling the governor all this so recunosc că uneori mă găndesc să-i spun toate astea
as to put him on his guard, but when I've got as directorului şi să-l pun în gardă, dar doar ce mă
close as seeing him I've changed my mind, thinking apropri şi-l văd mă răzgândesc, gândind că ori să-l
to let him either find out for himself or go through las să afle singur ori să treacă prin aceleaşi
the same mill as I've gone through. I'm not hard- experiente neplăcute cum am trecut şi eu. Nu am
hearted (in fact I've helped a few blokes in my time inima de piatră (de fapt chiar am ajutat câţiva tipi cu
with the odd quid, lie, fag, or shelter from the rain câte o liră, o minciună, o ţigară, sau un adăpost de
when they've been on the run) but I'm buggered if ploaie când erau urmăriţi) dar să fiu al naibii dacă
I'm going to risk being put in the cells just for am să risc să fiu închis doar pentru că i-am dat un
trying to give the governor a bit of advice he don't sfat directorului pe care nu-l merită. Dacă inima
deserve. If my heart's soft I know the sort of people mea se înduioşează ştiu eu tipul de oameni pentru
I'm going to save it for. And any advice I'd give the care merită să o păstrez. Iar orice sfat i-aş da
governor wouldn't do him the least bit of good; it'd directorului nu o să-i facă nici un bine doar l-aş
only trip him up sooner than if he wasn't told at all, încurca mai repede decât dacă nu ar şti nimic şi nu
which I suppose is what I want to happen. i-ar zice nimeni nimic, ceea ce bănuiesc că vreau să
But for the time being I'll let things go on as they se întâmple. Dar deocamdată voi lăsa lucrurile aşa
are, which is something else I've learned in the last cum sunt, o altă chestie pe care am învăţat-o în
year or two. (It's a good job I can only think of ultimii doi ani (E bine că mă pot gândi la lucrurile
these things as fast as I can write with this stub of ăstea la fel de repede cum pot scrie cu chiştocu ăsta
pencil that's clutched in my paw, otherwise I'd have de creion încleştat în ghiara mea, altfel cred că aş fi
dropped the whole thing weeks ago.) abandonat toată treaba acum câteva săptămâni)
By the time I’m half-way through my Când sunt deja la jumătatea cursei mele de
morning course, when after a frost-bitten dawn I dimineaţă, când după un răsărit îngheţat pot să văd
can see a phlegmy bit of sunlight hanging from the o flegmă de lumină prin crengile goale ale fagilor şi

4
bare twigs of beech and sycamore, and when I've ale sicomorilor, şi când ştiu că am trecut de semnul
measured my half-way mark by the short-cut de jumătate al cursei lângă scurtătura ce merge în
scrimmage down the steep bush-covered bank and jos pe malul abrupt şi plin de boscheţi spre aleea
into the sunken lane, when still there's not a soul in căzută, când încă nici un suflet nu s-a ivit şi nici un
sight and not a sound except the neighing of a sunet nu se aude cu excepţia nechezatului unui
piebald foal in a cottage stable that I can't see, I get mânz tărcat într-un grajd pe care nu pot să-l văd,
to thinking the deepest and daftest of all. The încep să mă găndesc în cel mai profund şi prostesc
governor would have a fit if he could see me fel. Directorul şi-ar pierde cumpătul dacă m-ar
sliding down the bank because I could break my vedea coborând malul pentru că aş putea să-mi rup
neck or ankle, but I can't not do it because it's the gâtul sau glezna, dar nu pot să nu o fac pentru că e
only risk I take and the only excitement I ever get, singurul risc pe care mi-l asum, singura emoţie pe
flying flat-out like one of them pterodactyls from care o am, zburând aproape de pămănânt ca un
the 'Lost World' I once heard on the wireless, crazy pterodactyl din “O lume pierdută” cum am auzit
like a cut-balled cockerel, scratching myself to bits odată la radio, nebun ca un pui deabia ieşit din
and almost letting myself go but not quite. It's the găoace, zgâriindu-mă rău aproape dându-mi drumu,
most wonderful minute because there's not one dar totuşi încă nu. E cel mai minunat moment
thought or word or picture of anything in my head pentru că nu am nici un gând, nici un cuvânt, nici o
while I’m going down. I'm empty, as empty as I imagine în cap când cobor. Sunt gol, la fel de gol
was before I was born, and I don't let myself go, I precum eram înainte de a mă naşte, şi nu îmi dau
suppose, because whatever it is that's farthest down drumu pentru că, presupun, orice ar fi în adâncul
inside me don't want me to dig or hurt myself bad. meu nu vrea să mor sau să mă rănesc grav. E
And it's daft to think deep, you know, because it prostesc să gândeşti profund, ştii, pentru că nu te
gets you nowhere, though deep is what I am when ajută cu nimic, gândesc profund când am trecut de
I've passed this half-way mark because the long- semnul de jumătate al cursei pentru că alergatul
distance run of an early morning makes me think unei curse lungi dimineaţa mă face să cred că
that every run like this is a life--a little life, I fiecare cursă e o viaţă – o mică viaţă – dar totuşi o
know--but a life as full of misery and happiness and viaţă cu toate suferinţele şi fericirea şi toate
things happening as you can ever get really around lucrurile care ţi se pot întămpla şi îmi aduc aminte
yourself--and I remember that after a lot of these că după multe curse din ăstea m-am gândit că nu ai

4
runs I thought that it didn't need much know-how nevoie de multe cunoştiinţe pentru a prezice cum
to tell how a life was going to end once it had got avea să se termine o viaţă odată ce a început bine.
well started. But as usual I was wrong, caught first Dar ca de obicei m-am înşelat, prima oară prins de
by the cops and then by my own bad brain, I could poliţişti şi după, de propriul meu creier, nu puteam
never trust myself to fly scot-free over these traps, avea încredere în mine să sar nevătămat peste aceste
was always tripped up sooner or later no matter capcane, voi greşit mai devreme sau mai târziu, fără
how many I got over to the good without even ca să conteze de câte am scăpat fără să ştiu. Privind
knowing it. Looking back I suppose them big trees înapoi îmi imaginez copacii cei mari împreunându-
put their branches to their snouts and gave each şi crengile dezaprobator făcându-şi cu ochiul iar eu
other the wink, and there I was whizzing down the coborând malul fără să văd un lucru.
bank and not seeing a bloody thing.
II
II
I don't say to myself: “You shouldn't have Nu-mi spun: “Nu trebuia să fi furat şi aşa nu
done the job and then you'd have stayed away from ai fi ajuns la Brostal”, nu, ce îmi tot repet în capul
Borstal"; no, what I ram into my runner-brain is meu de alergător e că norocul meu nu a avut nici un
that my luck had no right to scram just when I was drept să o şteargă chiar atunci când începeam să-i
on my way to making the coppers think I hadn't fac pe poliţai să creadă că nu am fost eu cel care a
done the job after all. The time was autumn and the dat lovitura până la urmă. Era toamnă iar noaptea
night foggy enough to set me and my mate Mike era destul de ceţoasă încăt să ne facă pe mine şi
foaming the streets when we should have been prietenul meu Mike să cutreierăm străzile când ar fi
rooted in front of the telly or stuck into a plush trebuit să stăm ţintuiţi în faţa televizorului sau într-
posh seat at the pictures, but I was restless after six un scaun elegant de pluş la cinema, dar nu mai
weeks away from any sort of work, and well you aveam stare după şase săpămâni fără ocupaţie şi aţi
might ask me why I'd been been idle for so long putea să mă întrebaţi de ce am fost aşa de leneş
because normally I sweated my thin guts out on a pentru atâta timp pentru că normal aş munci şi eu pe
milling-machine with the rest of them, but you see, brânci la freză cu restu lumii, dar vedeţi, taică-miu
my dad died from cancer of the throat, and mam murise de cancer la gât, iar maică-mea a încasat
collected a cool five hundred in insurance and vreo cinci sute de lire de la fabrica unde lucrase, ca

4
benefits from the factory where he'd worked, “for asigurare şi ajutor “Pentru pierderea
your bereavement," they said, or words like that. dumneavoastră” au spus, sau aşa ceva.
Now I believe, and my mam must have Eu cred că, şi maicămea la fel trebuie să fi
thought the same, that a wad of crisp blue-back gândit, că un teanc asa mare de bancnote albastre-
fivers ain't a sight of good to a living soul unless negre nu sunt o privelişte frumoasă pentru nimeni
they're flying out of your hand into some cu viaţă în el dacă nu zboară din mâna ta în sertarul
shopkeeper's till, and the shopkeeper is passing you vreunui negustor care îţi pasează peste tejghea
tip-top things in exchange over the counter, so as lucruri de calitate excelentă în schimb, deci de
soon as she got the money, mam took me and my îndată ce mama a primit banii ne-a luat pe mine şi
five brothers and sisters out to town and got us pe cei cinci fraţi şi surori ai mei în oraş şi ne-a
dolled-up in new clothes. Then she ordered a îmbrăcat în haine noi. Apoi a comandat un televizor
twenty-one-inch telly, a new carpet because the old cu diagonala de 21 de inchi, un covor nou pentru că
one was covered with blood from dad's dying and cel vechi fusese pătat cu sângele lui tata şi nu se
wouldn't wash out, and took a taxi, home with bags curăţa la spălat, şi a luat un taxi acasă plin cu pungi
of grub and a new fur coat. cu mâncare şi o haină de blană.
And do you know--you won't believe me when I Şi ştiţi ce - nu o să mă credeţi când o să vă spun că
tell you she'd still near three hundred left in her – mai avea aproape trei sute rămase în geanta ei
bulging handbag the next day, so how could any of umflată ziua următoare, aşa că cum era să mai
us go to work after that? Poor old dad, he didn't get mergem să muncim după toate astea? Săracul de
a look in, and he was the one who'd done the tata, n-a văzut nimic din toate astea, şi el fusese cel
suffering and dying for such a lot of lolly. care suferise şi murise pentru atâţia bani.
Night after night we sat in front of the telly Noapte după noapte am stat în faţa
with a ham sandwich in one hand, a bar of televizorului cu un sandviş într-o mână, cu o
chocolate in the other, and a bottle of lemonade ciocolată în cealaltă şi cu o sticlă de limonadă între
between our boots, while mam was with some picioare, în timp ce mama era sus cu un bărbat
fancy-man upstairs on the new bed she'd ordered, spilcuit în noul pat pe care îl comandase, şi nu am
and I'd never known a family as happy as ours was ştiut o familie mai fericită ca a noastră în timpul
in that couple of months when we'd got all the acelor două luni când am avut toţi banii de care
money we needed. And when the dough ran out I aveam nevoie. Iar când s-au terminat banii nu m-am

4
didn't think about anything much, but just roamed gândit la ceva mult, doar colindam străzile –
the streets--looking for another job, I told mam-- căutând ceva de muncă, i-am spus mamei – sperând
hoping I suppose to get my hands on another five să pun mâna pe alţi cinci sute de lire încăt viaţa
hundred nicker so's the nice life we'd got used to frumoasă cu care ne obişnuisem să poată continua
could go on and on for ever. Because it's surprising pentru totdeauna. Pentru că e surprinzător căt de
how quick you can get used to a different life. To repede te poţi obişnui cu alt fel de viaţă. Pentru
begin with, the adverts on the telly had shown us început reclamele de la televizor ne-au arătat câte
how much more there was in the world to buy than lucruri mai sunt de cumpărat pe lumea asta, lucruri
we'd ever dreamed of when we'd looked into shop la care nici nu visam când ne uitam în vitrinele
windows but hadn't seen all there was to see magazinelor, nevăzând tot ce era de văzut pentru că
because we didn't have the money to buy it with oricum nu aveam banii necesari cu care să le
anyway. And the telly made an these things seem cumpărăm. Iar televizorul le-a făcut să pară de
twenty times better than we'd ever thought they douăzeci de ori mai bune decât am crezut noi
were. Even adverts at the cinema were cool and vreodată că erau. Până şi reclamele de la cinema
tame, because now we were seeing them in private erau neinspirate şi insipide, pentru că acum le
at home. We used to cock our noses up at things in vedeam în intimitate acasă. Ne lipeam faţa de
shops that didn't move, but suddenly We saw their vitrina magazinelor uitându-ne la lucrurile ce nu se
real value because they jumped and glittered mişcau şi le-am văzut adevărata valoare când
around the screen and had some pasty-faced tart lucrurile au început să sară şi să sclipească pe ecran,
going head over heels to get her nail-polished iar o tipă machiată ca o paparudă îţi pierdea capul
grabbers on to them or her lipsticked lips over încercând să le prindă cu unghiile date cu ojă sau
them, not like the crumby adverts you saw on să-şi pună buzele rujate, nu ca reclamele insipide şi
posters or in newspapers as dead as doornails; these lipsite de viaţă din postere sau ziare ăstea licăreau
were flickering around loose; half-open packets and libere, pachete şi conserve deschise pe jumătate,
tins, making you think that ail you had to do was care te făceau să te gândeşti că doar trebuia să le
finish opening them before they were yours, like deschizi de tot ca să fie ale tale, ca şi cum ai vedea
seeing an unlocked safe through a shop window un safe printr-o vitrină paznicul plecat la o cană de
with the man gone away for a cup of tea without ceai fără să se găndească să-şi păzească paralele.
thinking to guard his lolly. The films they showed Filmele pe care le arătau erau de asemenea bune, în

4
were good as well, in that way, because we couldn't acest sens, pentru că nu ne puteam dezlipi ochii de
get our eyes unglued from the cops chasing the la poliţişti urmârindu-i pe hoţii cu saci plini de bani
robbers who had satchel-bags crammed with cash care păreau că scapă şi îi vor cheltui – până în
and looked like getting away to spend it--until the ultimul moment. Tot timpul am sperat că vor scăpa
last moment. I always hoped they would end up şi vor cheltui banii, şi nu am reuşit să nu-mi doresc
free to blow the lot, and could never stop wanting să pot să-mi bag mâna în ecran (ce arăta ca pânza
to put my hand out, smash into the screen (it only de la cinema) şi să-l prind pe poliţai după cap încât
looked a bit of rag-screen like at the pictures) and să nu-l mai urmărească pe tipul cu banii. Chiar şi
get the copper in a half-nelson so's he'd stop când a pocnit pe căţiva funcţionarii ai băncii speram
following the bloke with the money-bags. Even să nu fie prins. De fapt atunci îmi doream cel mai
when he'd knocked off a couple of bank clerks I mult să nu fie prins pentru că altfel însemna scaunul
hoped he wouldn't get nabbed. In fact then I wished electric, şi nu aş dori nimănui aşa moarte indiferent
more than ever he wouldn't because it meant the de ce au făcut, pentru că am citit într-o carte că
hot-chair if he did, and I wouldn't wish that on scaunul electric nu este deloc o moarte rapidă,
anybody no matter what they'd done, because I'd dimpotrivă stai pe el prăjindu-te până mori. Atunci
read in a book where the hot-chair wasn't a quick când poliţişti îi urmăreau pe rău făcători le jucam o
death at all, but that you just sat there scorching to farsă cu televizorul, atunci când unul îşi deschidea
death until you were dead. And it was when these fleanca să vorbească cum să-l prindă, opream
cops were chasing the crooks that we played some sunetul şi îi vedeam gura mişcându-se ca a unui
good tricks with the telly, because when one of peşte a unui macrou, sau a unei plevuşti mimând
them opened his big gob to spout about getting ceea ce se presupune că jucau – era amuzant
their man I'd turn the sound down and see his întreaga familie izbucnea în râs pe noul covor care
mouth move like a goldfish or mackerel or a încă nu ajunsese în dormitor.
minnow mimicking what they were supposed to be
acting--it was so funny the whole family nearly
went into fits on the brand-new carpet that hadn't
yet found its way to the bedroom. It was the best of Cu toate astea partea cea mai distractivă a fost când
all, though when we did it to some Tory telling us i-am facut-o unui Torry care ne spunea cât de bună
about how good his government was going to be if va fi guvernarea lui dacă continuam să-i votăm pe

4
we kept on voting for them--their slack chops ei – fălcile lui încete rulau, se deschideau
rolling, opening and bumbling, hands lifting to neîndemânatic, mâinile se ridicau să-şi pipăie
twitch moustaches and touching their buttonholes mustaţa să-şi atingă găurile nasturilor ca să se
to make sure the flower hadn't wilted, so that you asigure că floarea nu se ofilise, şi ca să ne facă să
could see they didn't mean a word they said, vedem că nimic nu contează din ce spune, mai ales
especially with not a murmur coming out because cum nici un murmur nu se auzea cum oprisem
we'd cut off the sound. When the governor of the sunetul. Când directorul Brostal-lui îmi vorbise
Borstal first talked to me I was reminded of those prima oară mi-a amintit aşa de tare de acele
times so much that I nearly killed myself trying not momente încăt mi-a fost greu să nu râd. Da, am
to laugh. Yes, we played so many good stunts on făcut o groază de farse cu cutia de pozne încăt
the box of tricks that mam used to call us the Telly mama ne spunea Copii Televizorului, cum
Boys, we got so clever at it. devenisem aşa de pricepuţi la asta.
My pal Mike got let off with probation Prietenul meu Mike a scăpat pe cauţiune
because it was his first job--anyway the first they pentru că era la primul jaf - mă rog primul de care
ever knew about--and because they said he would au aflat ei - şi pentru că au spus că el nu ar fi făcut-o
never have done it if it hadn't been for me talking niciodată dacă nu l-aş fi convins eu. Au spus că sunt
him into it. They said I was a menace to honest lads o ameninţare pentru băieţii cinstiţi ca Mike – care
like Mike--hands in his pockets so that they looked stătea cu mâinile în buzunare ca şi cum nu ar avea
stone-- empty, head bent forward as if looking for nimic în ele, capul aplecat înainte de parcă ar fi
half-crowns to fill 'em with, a ripped jersey on and căutat jumătăţie de coroană cu care să le umple, un
his hair falling into his eyes so that he could go up pulovăr jerpelit şi cu părul căzându-i peste ochi
to women and ask them for a shilling because he încăt ar fi putut să meargă să ceară o monedă la
was hungry--and that I was the brains behind the femei pentru că îi era foame- iar că eu eram creierul
job, the guiding light when it came to making up din spatele jafului, lumina călăuzitoare când cineva
anybody's mind, but I swear to God I worn't owt trebuia să se hotărască, jur pe Dumnezeu că nu a
like that because really I ain't got no more brains fost aşa pentru că nici eu nu am mai multă minte
than a gnat after hiding the money in the place I decât un ţânţar când am ascuns banii în locul unde
did. And I--being cranky like I am--got sent to i-am ascuns. Iar eu sonat cum sunt, am fost trimis la
Borstal because to tell you the honest truth I'd been Brostal pentru că ca să spun adevărul am mai fost şi

4
to Remand Homes before--though that's another la şcoala de corecţie înainte – dar asta e altă poveste
story and I suppose if ever I tell it it'll be just as şi presupun că dacă ar fi să o zic vreodată va fi la
boring as this one is. I was glad though that Mike fel de plictisitoare ca asta. Oricum m-am bucurat că
got away with it, and I only hope he always will, Mike a scăpat, şi sper să scape tot timpul, nu ca
not like silly bastard me. prostu de mine.
So on this foggy night we tore ourselves Deci în noaptea aceea ne-am dezlipit de
away from the telly and slammed the front door televizoare, trântind uşa în spatele nostru, pornind
behind us, setting off up our wide street like slow în sus pe strada largă ca nişte remorchere pe un râu
tugs on a river that'd broken their hooters, for we care şi-ar fi stricat sirenele, cum nu ştiam unde
didn't know where the housefronts began what with încep casele din cauza ceţii reci din jurul nostru.
the perishing cold mist all around. I was snatched Eram îngheţat bocnă fără o haină: mama uitase să-
to death without an overcoat: mam had forgotten to mi cumpere una, în agitaţia cumpărăturilor, iar când
buy me one in the scrummage of shopping, and by mi-am adus aminte să-i reamintesc toate lovele se
the time I thought to remind her of it the dough was terminaseră. Aşa că am început să fredonăm 'The
all gone. So we whistled 'The Teddy Boys Picnic' Teddy Boys2 Picnic' ca să ne încălzim, spunându-mi
to keep us warm, and I told myself that I'd get a că îmi voi lua o haină în curând chiar dacă e ultimu
coat soon if it was the last thing I did. Mike said he lucru pe care îl voi face. Mike a spus că şi el o să
thought the same about himself, adding that he'd facă la fel, adăugând că el şi-ar lua şi nişte ochelari
also get some brand-new glasses with gold rims, to cu ramele de aur, în locul acestor rame de sârmă pe
wear instead of the wire frames they'd given him at care le-a primit de la clinica şcolii acum câţiva ani.
the school clinic years ago. He didn't twig it was Iniţial nu şi-a dat seama că era ceaţă şi îşi curăţa
foggy at first and cleaned his glasses every time I ochelarii de fiecare dată când îl trăgeam din faţa
pulled him back from a lamp-post or car, but when unui stălp sau a unei maşini, iar când a văzut că
he saw the lights on Alfreton Road looking like luminile de pe strada Alfreton arătau ca ochii unei
octopus eyes he put them in his pocket and didn't caracatiţe şi-a pus în buzunar şi nu i-a mai purtat
wear them again until we did the job. We hadn't got pănă la jaf. Nu aveam nici jumătate de penny
two ha’pennies between us, and though we weren't împreună, şi deşi nu ne era foame ne doream să fi
hungry we wished we'd got a bob or two when we avut un shilling sau doi pentru că atunci când
passed the fish and chip shops because the trecusem de magazinul cu peşte şi cartofi mirosul

2
Teddy boy (în Marea Britanie, mijlocul anilor 1950) un tânăr aparţinând unui grup de adolescenţi ce ironizau stilul
Edwardian, purtând haine cum ar fi pantalonii drepţi şi strâmţi şi papucii cu botul ascuţit

4
delicious sniffs of salt and vinegar and frying fat de sare, oţet şi grăsime încinsă ne-a făcut gura apă.
made our mouths water. I don't mind telling you we Nu mi-e jenă să vă zic că am bătut oraşul în sus şi
walked the town from one end to the other and if în jos, iar dacă ochii noştri nu ar fi fost lipiţi de
our eyes worn't glued to the ground looking for lost pămănt uităndu-ne după portofele şi ceasuri
wallets and watches they was swivelling around pierdute s-ar fi rotit uitându-se la ferestrele caselor
house windows and shop doors in case we saw sau la uşile magazinelor în cazul în care zăream
something easy and worth nipping into. ceva de valoare şi uşor de înfăşcat.
Neither of us said as much as this to each Nici unu din noi nu a spus nimic celuilalt,
other, but I know for a fact that that was what we dar ştiu sigur că am gândit acelaşi lucru. Ceea ce nu
was thinking. What l don't know--and as sure as I ştiu – şi îmi dau seama că nu o să aflu niciodată – e
sit here I know I’ll never know--is which of us was cine dintre noi a fost primul nemernic care a pus
the first bastard to latch his peepers on to that ochii pe curtea din spatele casei brutarului. Da, e în
baker's backyard. Oh yes, it's all right me telling ordine să-mi zic că am fost eu, dar adevărul e că nu
myself it was me, but the truth is that I've never ştiu dacă a fost Mike sau nu, pentru că ştiu ce nu am
known whether it was Mike or not, because I do văzut şi asta era fereastra deschisă pe care am
know that I didn't see the open window until he observat-o doar când Mike m-a lovit în coaste
stabbed me in the ribs and pointed it out. "See it? " arătându-mi-o. „O vezi ?” a spus.
he said.
"Yes," I told him, “so let's get cracking." ”Da” I-am răspuns, deci „la treabă”.
"But what about the wall though?" he whispered, „Dar ce facem cu zidul până la urmă?” mi-a şoptit
looking a bit closer. uitându-se mai aproape
"On your shoulders," I chipped in. “Pe umerii tăi” am comentat eu
His eyes were already up there: "Will you be able Era cu privirea deja acolo sus: “O să poţi ajunge?”
to reach?" It was the only time he ever showed any A fost singura dată când a arătat ceva viaţă în el.
life.
"Leave it to me," I said, ever-ready. "I can reach “Mă descurc” am răspuns eu promt. “Pot ajunge
anywhere from your ham-hock shoulders." oriunde de pe umerii tăi muşchiuloşi”
Mike was a nipper compared to me, but Mike era un copil în comparaţie cu mine,
underneath the scruffy draught-board jersey he dar pe sub pulovărul jegos tărcat ca table de şah pe
wore were muscles as hard as iron, and you care îl purta, erau muşchi tari ca fierul, şi nu ai zice
wouldn't think to see him walking down the street că ar omorî o muscă văzându-l pe stradă umblând

4
with glasses on and hands in pockets that he'd harm cu mâinile în buzunare şi cu ochelari, dar nu mi-a
a fly, but I never liked to get on the wrong side of plăcut niciodată să fiu prins pe partea greşită într-o
him in a fight because he's the sort that don't say a ceartă cu el pentru că el e de genul acelora care nu
word for weeks on end--sits plugged in front of the zice o vorbă săpămâni întregi – stă lipit de televizor,
telly, or reads a cowboy book, or just sleeps--when citeşte o carte cu cowboy, sau doar doarme – când
suddenly BIFF--half kills somebody for almost deodată BUFF – aproape omoară pe cineva pentru
nothing at all, such as beating him in a race for the aproape nimic, cum ar fi pentru că l-a depăşit într-o
last Football Post on a Saturday night, pushing in cursă pentru ultimul Football Post într-o sâmbătă
before him at a bus stop, or bumping into him when seară, că s-a băgat în faţă într-o staţie de autobus,
he was day-dreaming about Dolly-on-the-Tub next sau că s-a izbit de el când visa la sirena din cadă din
door. I saw him set on a bloke once for no more apartamentul de alături. L-am văzut odată luându-se
than fixing him in a funny way with his eyes, and it de un tip doar pentru că se uita ciudat la el, ca până
turned out that the bloke was cock-eyed but nobody la urmă să se descopere că era tipul avea strabism şi
knew it because he'd just that day come to live in nimeni nu ştia pentru că tocmai se mutase pe strada
our street. At other times none of these things noastră. În alte timpuri toate acestea nu ar conta
would matter a bit, and I suppose the only reason câtuşi de puţin, şi presupun că singurul motiv
why I was pals with him was because I didn't say pentru care eram prieten cu el era pentru că nici eu
much from one month's end to another. nu ziceam multe de la un capăt la celelalt al unei
luni.
He puts his hands up in the air like he was being Şi-a ridicat mâinile în aer ca şi cum ar fi fost
covered with a Gatling-Gun, and moved to the wall ţintuit de o puşcă Gatling, s-a lipit de perete ca şi
like he was going to be mowed down, and I cum urma să fie secerat, m-am urcat pe el ca şi cum
climbed up him like he was a stile or step-ladder, ar fi fost un pârleaz sau o scară, a stat cu palmele
and there he stood, the palms of his upshot maulers mâinilor întorse ca să pot păşi ca într-un cric sub o
flat and turned out so's I could fetch 'em like they maşină nici o suflare nici macăr tremurul unei
was the adjustable jackspanner under a car, not a mirări nu venea din partea lui. Nu am pierdut nici
sound of a breath nor the shiver of a flinch coming un moment, în orice caz, mi-am luat haina dintre
from him. I lost no time in any case; I took my coat dinţi, am aruncat-o sus pe zidul cu geamuri (unde
from between my teeth, chucked it up to the glass- geamul nu era aşa de ascuţit pentru că zimţii se
topped wall (where the glass worn't too sharp tociseră în timp din cauza pietrelor aruncate
because the jags had been worn down by years of ocazional) şi stăteam ca în şa înainte să-mi dau

4
accidental stones) and was sitting astraddle before I seama unde eram. Apoi am sărit pe partea cealaltă,
knew where I was. Then down the other side, with cu picioarele ce mi-au ajuns până la gât când m-am
my legs rammed up into my throat when I hit the izbit de pământ, bufnitura fiind la fel de tare ca
ground, the crack coming about as hard as when atunci când aterizezi după o săritură cu paraşuta de
you fall after a high parachute drop, that one of my la înălţime, unu din amicii mei mi-a zic că e ca şi
mates told me was like jumping off a twelve-foot cum ai sări de pe un zid de patru metrii, cum trebuie
wall, which this must have been. Then I picked up să fi fost şi acum. M-am adunat de pe jos şi i-am
my bits and pieces and opened the gate for Mike, deschis uşa lui Mike, care încă rânjea şi era plin de
who was still grinning and full of life because the viaţă pentru că partea cea mai grea a jafului era deja
hardest part of the job was already done. "I came, I făcută. „Am venit, am spart, am intrat” ca acel
broke, I entered," like that clever-dick Borstal song. cântec şmecher de la Brostal.
I didn't think about anything at all, as usual, Nu mă gândeam la absolut nimic, ca de
because I never do when I'm busy, when I'm obicei, pentru că niciodată nu o fac când sunt
draining pipes, looting sacks, yaling locks, lifting ocupat, când golesc ţevi, prădez saci, sparg yale,
latches, forcing my bony hands and lanky legs into ridic zăvoare, forţând ceva să se mişte cu mâinile
making something move, hardly feeling my lungs mele osoase şi picioarele mele uscăţive, nici măcar
going in-whiff and out-whaff, not realizing whether observând plămănii făcând whiff- înăuntru şi whaff-
my mouth is clamped tight or gaping, whether I’m afară, nici dându-mi seama dacă gura îmi este
hungry, itching from scabies, or whether my flies încleştată sau deschisă, sau dacă îmi este foame,
are open and flashing dirty words like muck and dacă mă mănâncă scabia, sau dacă am fleanca
spit into the late-night final fog. And when I don't deschisă înjurând şi scuipând în ultima oră de ceaţă
know anything about all this then how can I honest- în noaptea târzie. Şi cum nu ştiu nimic despre ăstea
to-God say I think of anything at such times? When atunci cum vreţi să spun că mă găndesc la ceva în
I'm wondering what's the best way to get a window asemenea momente? Când mă întreb cum ar fi mai
open or how to force a door, how can I be thinking uşor să sparg o fereastră sau cum să forţez o uşă,
or have anything on my mind? That's what the cum aş putea să mă gândesc la ceva sau cum m-ar
four-eyed white-smocked bloke with the note-book putea preocupa ceva? Asta e ce nu întelegea tipul cu
couldn't understand when he asked me questions patru ochi cu combinezon alb, şi cu carneţel care m-
for days and days after I got to Borstal; and I a tot anchetat pentru zile în şir când am ajuns la
couldn't explain it to him then like I'm writing it Brostal; şi nu puteam să-i explic cum scriu acum, şi
down now; and even if I'd been able to maybe he chiar dacă aş fi fost în stare nu cred că s-ar fi prins

5
still wouldn't have caught on because I don't know pentru că nici eu însumi nu ştiu dacă pot întelege
whether I can understand it myself even at this nici în acest moment, deşi fac tot ce pot, puteţi să
moment, though I'm doing my best you can bet. fiţi siguri de asta.
So before I knew where I was I was inside Deci înainte să ştiu unde eram, mă aflam
the baker's office watching Mike picking up that înauntru în biroul brutarului privindu-l pe Mike
cash box after he'd struck a match to see where it luând cutia cu bani, după ce aprinsese un chibrit să
was, wearing a tailor-made fifty-shilling grin on his vadă unde e, avea un zâmbet de revistă pe moaca
square crew-cut nut as his paws closed over the box lui pătrată cu tunsura scurtă, ţinând mâinile
like he'd squash it to nothing. "Out,'" he suddenly încleştate în jurul cutiei de parcă ar vrea să o facă să
said, shaking it so's it rattled. "Let's scram." dispară. „Afară” a spus deodată, scurturând-o ca să
zdrăngănească. „Să o ştergem”
"Maybe there's some more," I said, pulling half a „Poate e mai mult” am spus eu trăgând
dozen drawers out of a rollertop desk. jumatate de duzină de sertare pe role dintr-un birou.
"No," he said, like he'd already been twenty years „Nu” a răspuns de parcă ar fi fost de
in the game, " this is the lot," patting his tin box, " douăzeci de ani în meserie, „asta e captura”
this is it." mângâindu-şi cutia de tablă „asta e”.
I pulled out another few drawers, full of bills, Am mai tras câteva sertare, pline de facturi,
books and letters; "'How do you know, you loony registre şi scrisori. ”De unde ştii, dobitocule? ”
sod?
He barged past me like a bull at a gate. " Because I A intrat în mine ca un taur într-o poartă
do." ”Pentru că ştiu”
Right or wrong, we'd both got to stick together and Avea sau nu dreptate, trebuie să fim uniţi şi
do the same thing. I looked at an ever-loving babe să facem acelaşi lucru. M-am uitat cu jiind la o
of a brand-new typewriter, but knew it was too frumoasă şi nou-nouţă maşină de scris , dar mi-am
traceable, so blew it a kiss, and went out after him. dat seama că este uşor de găsit, aşa că i-am trimis
"Hang on," I said, pulling the door to, "we're in no un sărut în aer, şi am ieşit după el.
hurry." „Asteaptă-mă” i-am zis trăgând uşa, „nu ne grăbim”
"Not much we aren't," he says over his shoulder. ”Nu, nu prea” a zis după umăr.
"We've got months to splash the lolly," I whispered “Avem luni să cheltuim lovelele” i-am şoptit
as we crossed the yard, "Only don't let that gate în timp ce traversam curtea „doar nu lăsă poarta să
creak too much or you'll have the narks tuning-in." scârţâie prea tare sau o să se trezească turnătorii.”

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"You think I'm barmy? " he said, creaking the gate “Ce crezi că sunt prost? ” a spus, lăsând uşa
so the whole street heard. să scârţâie de toată strada a auzit.
I don't know about Mike, but now I started to think Nu ştiu despre Mike, dar am început să mă
of how we'd get back safe through the streets with găndesc, cum să ne întoarcem neobservaţii pe străzi
that money-box up my jumper. Because he'd cu cutia aia de banii sub pulovărul meu. Pentru că
clapped it into my hand as soon as we'd got to the mi-a trântit-o în mână de îndată ce am ieşit la strada
main road, which might have meant that he'd principală, care putea să însemne că şi el începuse
started thinking as well, which only goes to show să se gândească, ceea ce nu face decăt să
how you don't know what's in anybody else's mind demonstreze că nu ai cum să ştii ce e în capul
unless you think about things yourself. But as far as altcuiva pănă nu te găndeşti tu singur la acele
my thinking went at that moment it wasn't up to lucruri. Dar în ceea ce priveşte gânditul atunci nu s-
much, only a bit of fright that wouldn't budge not a rezumat la mult, doar un pic de frică care nu vroia
even with a hot blow-lamp, about what we'd say if să mă lase nicicum, gândindu-mă la ce i-aş zice
a copper asked us where we were off to with that unui poliţai unde ne îndreptam cu umflătura ai din
hump in my guts. burtă. „Ce-i acolo” m-ar întreba iar eu i-aş răspunde
"What is it?” he’d ask, and I'd say: "A growth." „O crescătură”
"What do you mean, a growth, my lad? " he'd say ”Ce vrei să zici printr-o crescătură, băiete?”
back, narky like. I'd cough and clutch myself like I m-ar întreba din nou, curios ca un turnător. Aş tuşi
was in the most tripe-twisting pain in the world, şi m-aş răsuci ca şi cum aş avea cele mai groaznice
and screw my eyes up like I was on my way to tile dureri din lume, şi mi-aş holba ochii ca şi cum aş fi
hospital, and Mike would take my arm like he was în drum spre spital, iar Mike m-ar lua de braţ ca şi
the best pal I'd got. "Cancer," I'd manage to say to cum ar fi cel mai bun prieten al meu. „Cancer” aş
Narker, which would make his slow punch-drunk apuca să-i spun sifonarului ceea ce i-ar da ceva de
brain suspect a thing or two. "A lad of your age?" bănuit prostului. „Un băiat de vărsta ta?” Aşa că aş
So I'd groan again, and hope to make him feel a geme din nou, sperând să-l fac să se simtă ca un
real bully and a bastard, which would be nemernic, ceea ce ar fi imposibil, dar oricum ”E în
impossible, but anyway: "It's in the family. Dad familie. Tata a murit din cauza asta luna trecută, iar
died of it last month, and I'll die of it next month by eu o să mor luna viitoare după cum îl simt ”
the feel of it." "What, did he have it in the guts?" ”Ce, l-a avut la stomac?”
"No, in the throat. But it's got me in the stomach." ”Nu l-a avut la gât, dar eu îl am la stomac”
Groan and cough. "Well, you shouldn't be out like gemut şi tuse. ”Nu are trebui să fi afară atunci, dacă

5
this if you've got cancer, you should be in the ai cancer, ar trebui să fi în spital”. Acum m-aş
hospital." I'd get ratty now: "That's where I'm enerva:”Acolo mă şi duc numai dacă m-aţi lăsa şi
trying to go if only you'd let me and stop asking so nu mi-aţi mai pune atătea întrebări. Nu-i aşa Mike?”
many questions. Aren't I, Mike? " Grunt from Mike Mike ar mârâii în timp ce şi-ar scoate bâta. Atunci
as he unslung his cosh. Then just in time the copper fix la momentul potrivit poliţaiul ne-ar spune să ne
would tell us to get on our way, kind and vedem de drum, amabil şi prietenos dintr-o dată,
considerate all of a sudden, saying that the spunându-ne că departamentul pentru internări al
outpatient department of the hospital closes at spitalului se închide la doisprezece, şi dacă nu ar fi
twelve, so hadn't he better call us a taxi? He would mai bine dacă ne-ar chema un taxi? Ar putea, dacă
if we liked, he says, and he'd pay for it as well. But vrem, să-l şi plătească. Dar i-am spune că nu e
we tell him not to bother , that he's a good bloke nevoie, că e un om de treabă chiar dacă e poliţist, şi
even if he is a copper, that we know a short cut că oricum ştim o scurtătură. Iar când ne-am întoarce
anyway. Then just as we're turning a corner he gets la colţ şi-ar da seama că mergem în direcţia opusă
it into his big bitchy head that we're going the spitalului, şi ne-ar striga înapoi. Aşa că am începe
opposite way to hospital and calls us back. So we'd să fugim... dacă poţi numi toate alea gândit.
start to run. . . if you can call that thinking.
Up in my room Mike rips open that money- În camera mea Mike a spart cutia cu bani cu un
box with a hammer and chisel, and before we know ciocan şi o daltă, şi înainte să ne dăm seama unde
where we are we've got seventy eight pounds suntem aveam şaptezeci şi opt de lire cincispreze
fifteen and fourpence ha'penny each lying all over şilingi şi patru jumătăţi de penny fiecare întinşi
my bed like tea spread out on Christmas Day: cake peste tot în cameră ca ceai-ul de Crăciun: prăjitură
and trifle, salad and sandwiches, jam tarts and bars şi tort, salată şi sandvişuri, tarte cu gem şi batoane
of chocolate: all shared and shared alike between de ciocolată: totul împărţit, împărţit frăţeşte între
Mike and me because we believed in equal work mine şi Mike pentru că noi credem în muncă egală,
and equal pay, just like the comrades my dad was plată egală, la fel cum erau şi camarzii lui tata până
in until he couldn't do a stroke anymore and had no când nu a mai putut face nimic şi nu mai avea
breath left to argue with. I thought how good it was răsuflare pentru a se certa cu ei. Mă găndeam că ce
that blokes like that poor baker didn't stash all his bine că tipii ca săracu brutar nu-şi păstrează banii în
cash in one of the big marble-fronted banks that una din marile bănci cu faţada de marmură care se
take up every corner of the town, how lucky for us află la fiecare colţ al oraşului, ce noroc din partea
that he didn't trust them no matter how many noastră că nu avea încredere în ele indiferent de

5
millions of tons of concrete or how many iron bars câte mult de beton sau de câte milioane de bare şi
and boxes they were made of, or how many cutii de fier erau făcute, sau de câti poliţisti îşi
coppers kept their blue pop-eyed peepers glued on ţineau aţintiţi ocheanele albastre pe ele, ce fantastic
to them, how smashing it was that he believed in era că a crezut în cutia cu bani când aşa de mulţi
money-boxes when so many shopkeepers thought it negustori cred că e de modă veche şi încearcă să fie
old-fashioned and tried to be modern by using a moderni folosind o bancă, fără ca să dea o şansă
bank, which wouldn't give a couple of sincere, unor băieţi sinceri, cinstiţi, muncitori şi conştincioşi
honest; hardworking, conscientious blokes like ca Mike şi mine.
Mike and me a chance.
Now you'd think, and I'd think, and Acuma vă gândiţi, si eu mă gândesc, şi oricine cu
anybody with a bit of imagination would think, that puţină imaginaţie s-ar gândi, că am comis un jaf
we'd done as clean a job as could ever be done, perfect şi că poliţişti nu ne-ar fi dat de urmă
that, with the baker's shop being at least a mile niciodată, în condiţiile în care brutăria se află la cel
from where we lived, and with not a soul having puţin o milă de casa noastră, nimeni nu ne-a
seen us, and what with the fog and the fact that we observat, în plus cu ceaţa şi faptul că nu am stat mai
weren't more than five minutes in the place, that the mult de cinci minute înauntru. Dar încă odată v-aţi
coppers should never have been able to trace us. înşela, m-aş înşela, şi toată lumea s-ar înşela,
But then, you'd be wrong, I'd be wrong, and indiferent de câtă imaginaţie am avea.
everybody else would be wrong, no matter how
much imagination was diced out between us.
Even so, Mike and I didn't splash the money Chiar şi aşa Mike şi cu mine nu am cheltuit banii
about. Because that would have made people think aiurea, pentru că asta ar face ca lumea să bănuiască
straightaway that we'd latched onto something that imediat că am pus mâna pe ceva ce nu ne aparţine.
didn't belong to us. Which wouldn't do at all, Ceea ce nu a fost îndeajuns pentru că şi pe o stradă
because even in a street like ours there are people ca a noastră există oameni cărora le place să toarne
who love to do a good turn for the coppers, though la poliţie, deşi niciodată nu am ştiut de ce o fac.
I never know why they do. Some people are so Există oamenii atât de răi la suflet care cred că doar
mean-gutted that even if they've only got tuppence dacă au doi penny mai mulţi ca tine şi tu eşti genul
more than you and they think you're the sort that de om care i-ai lua dacă ai avea ocazia, te-ar băga la
would take it if you have half the chance, they'd get mititica doar pentru că ai şterpelit ţevile dintr-o baie
you put inside if they saw you ripping lead out of a publică, chiar dacă nu e baia lor – doar ca să se

5
lavatory, even if it weren't their lavatory--just to asigure că nu-le poţi lua cei doi penny. Aşa că nu
keep their tuppence out of your reach. And so we am făcut nimic încăt să nu dăm de bănuit cât de
didn't do anything to let on about how rich we bogaţi eram, nu tu mers în oraş şi îmbrăcat în
were, nothing like going down town and coming costume noi ca ale băieţilor Teddy sau purtat un set
back dressed in brand-new Teddy Boy suits and de tobe improvizate cum a făcut un alt amic de al
carrying a set of skiffle-drums like another pal of nostru care jefuise un birou al unei fabrici acum
ours who'd done a factory office about six months şase luni. Nu, am luat mărunţişul, şilingii şi penny,
before. No, we took the odd bobs and pennies out iar bancnotele le-am făcut sul şi le-am îndesat în
and folded the notes into bundles and stuffed them burlanul din spatele uşii, în curtea din spatele casei.
up the drainpipe outside the door in the backyard. ”Nimeni nu se va gândi să caute acolo” i-am spus
"Nobody'll ever think of looking for it there," I said lui Mike. ”Stăm ascunşi pentru o săptămănă sau
to Mike." We'll keep it doggo for a week or two, două, după care luam câteva lire pe săptămână până
then take a few quid a week out till it's all gone. We când nu mai rămăne nimic”. Suntem noi nemernici
might be thieving bastards, but we're not green." şireţi dar nu suntem începători.
Some days later a plain-clothes dick Câteva zile mai tărziu un tip îmbrăcat în
knocked at the door. And asked for me. I was still haine de stradă a bătut la uşa mea. Mă căuta pe
in bed, at eleven o'clock, and had to unroll myself mine. Eu eram încă în pat, la ora unsprezece, şi a
from the comfortable black sheets when I heard trebuit să ies din confortabilele aşternuturi negre
mam calling me. "A man to see you," she said. când am auzit-o pe mama strigăndu-mă ”A venit
"Hurry up, or he'll be gone." cineva să te vadă” a spus, ”grăbeşte-te sau o să
plece.”
I could hear her keeping him at the back O auzeam cum îl ţinea la uşa din spate,
door, nattering about how fine it had been but how vorbind despre căt de frumos fusese şi cum părea că
it looked like rain since early this morning--and he o să plouă de azi dimineaţă – iar el nu răspundea
didn't answer her except to snap out a snotty yes or nimic decăt un arogant monosilabic da sau nu. M-
no. I scrambled into my trousers and wondered why am îmbrăcat repede cu pantalonii şi mă întrebam ce
he'd come--knowing it was a copper, because ‘a voia – ştiind că era un sticlete pentru că în casa
man to see you' always meant just that in our noastră ”e cineva care vrea să te vadă” întotdeauna
house--and if I'd had any idea that one had gone to înseamnă asta – şi dacă aş fi ştiut că altu fusese şi la
Mike's house as well at the same time I'd have casa lui Mike, în acelaşi timp m-aş fi prins că
twigged it to be because of that hundred and fifty trebuie să fie din cauza acelor o sută cinzeci de lire

5
quid's worth of paper stuffed up the drain-pipe îndesate în burlanul din spatele uşii cam la douăzeci
outside the back door about ten inches away from şi cinci de centimetri de gheata poliţaiului îmbrăcat
that plain-clothed copper's boot, where mam still în haine de stradă, unde mama încă mai vorbea cu
talked to him thinking she was doing me a favour, el crezând că îmi face un favor, iar eu dorindu-mi
and I wishing to God she'd ask him in, though on să-l fi chemat înăuntru, deşi dacă mă găndesc mai
second thoughts realizing that that would seem bine ar fi fost şi mai suspicios decât să-l ţină la uşă,
more suspicious than keeping him outside, because pentru că ei ştiu căt de mult îi urăm şi ar intra la
they know we hate their guts and smell a rat if they bănuieli dacă am fi cumsecade cu ei. Mama nu s-a
think we're trying to be nice to them. Mam wasn't născut ieri, îmi ziceam, în timp ce coboram scările
born yesterday, I thought, thumping my way down ce scărţâiau.
the creaking stairs.
I'd seen him before: Borstal Bernard in Îl mai văzusem înainte: Brostal Bernard cu pălărie,
nicky-hat, Remand Home Ronald in rowing-boat Remand Home Ronald în cisme de cauciuc,
boots. Probation Pete in a pit-prop mackintosh, Cauţiune Pete într-un impermeabil de escavatorist,
three-months clink in collar and tie (all this out of a trei luni de puşcărie cu guler şi cravată (toate astea
Borstal skiffle-ballad that my new mate made up, sunt dintr-o baladă inventată de un nou coleg de al
and I’d tell you it in full but it doesn't belong in this meu din Brostal, v-aş spune-o toată dar nu ţine de
story), a 'tec who'd never had as much in his povestirea asta), un detectiv care nu a avut niciodată
pockets as that drainpipe had up its jackses. He was atât de mult în buzunare căt avea burlanul ăla
like Hitler in the face, right down to the paint-brush înfundat. Avea faţa lui Hitler, pănă şi mustaţa de tuş,
tash, except that being six-foot tall made him seem doar că fiind înalt de un metru optzeci îl făcea să
worse. But I straightened my shoulders to look into arate şi mai rău. Mi-am îndreptat umerii ca să-l pot
his illiterate blue eyes like I always do with any privi în ochii albaştri şi analfabeţi – cum fac cu
copper. orice sticlete.
Then he started asking me questions, and my A început să-mi pună întrebări iar mama din
mother from behind said: "He's never left that spate a spus: ”Nu s-a dezlipit de televizor în
television set for the last three months, so you've ultimele trei luni, deci nu ai nici o dovadă împotriva
got nowt on him, mate. You might as well look for lui amice. Ai putea foarte bine să începi să cauţi pe
somebody else, because you're wasting the rates altcineva pentru că iroseşti banii contribuabiilor pe
you get out of my rent and the income-tax that care mi luaţi din chirie şi din salariu stând aşa acolo
comes out of my pay-packet standing there like ” – ceea ce m-a făcut să răd, pentru că nu a plătit

5
that" --which was a laugh because she'd never paid nimic niciodată din căte ştiam eu, şi sper ca
either to my knowledge, and never would, I hoped. niciodată să nu plătească.
"Well, you know where Papplewick Street is, don't ”Ştii unde e strada Papplewick, nu-i aşa ? ”
you?" the copper asked me, taking no notice of m-a întrebat poliţaiu ignorând-o pe mama
mam.
"Ain't it off Alfreton Road?'" I asked him back, ”Nu e mai încolo de drumul Alfreton ” l-a
helpful and bright. întrebat la rândul meu, foarte amabil şi politicos.
"You know there's a baker's half-way down the ”Ştii că e o brutărie la jumătatea drumului
left-hand side, don't you?" pe partea stângă, nu-i aşa?”
"Ain't it next door to a pub, then?" I wanted to ”Deci nu e lângă un pub, atunci?” vroiam eu
know. He answered me sharp: "No, it bloody well să aflu. Dar mi-a retezat-o scurt ”Nu, la naiba, nu
ain't." Coppers always lose their tempers as quick e”. Poliţaii tot timpul îşi pierd cumpătu aşa de
as this, and more often than not they gain nothing repede sau chiar mai repede, şi nu căştigă nimic din
by it. "Then I don't know it," I told him, saved by asta. ”Atunci nu o ştiu” i-am zis salvat de clopoţel.
the bell.
He slid his big boot round and round on the Îşi tot petrecea gheata mare pe pragul uşi.
doorstep. “Where were you last Friday night?" ”Unde ai fost vinerea trecută seara?”. Şi înapoi în
Back in the ring, but this was worse than a boxing ring, dar de data asta era mai rău ca un meci de box.
match.
I didn't like him trying to accuse me of something Nu-mi plăcea că încerca să mă acuze de
he wasn't sure I'd done. "Was I at that baker's you ceva ce nu era sigur că am făcut. ”Fost am eu la
mentioned? Or in the pub next door?" brutarul pe care l-ai menţionat? sau la pubul de
lângă?”
“You'll get five years in Borstal if you don't give ”O să primeşti cinci ani în Brostal dacă nu
me a straight answer," he said, unbuttoning his mac îmi dai un răspuns sincer” a spus, deschizându-şi
even though it was cold where he was standing. impermeabilul deşi era frig unde stătea el.
"I was glued to the telly, like mam says," I swore ”Eram lipit de televizor, cum zice si maică
blind. But he went on and on with his looney mea” am spus încrezător. Dar el a continuat cu
questions: "Have you got a television?" întrebările lui prosteşti :”Ai televizor?”
The things he asked wouldn't have taken in a kid of Lucrurile pe care le întreba nu puteau fi
two, and what else could I say to the last one luate la mişto, ce altceva aş fi putut răspunde la

5
except: "Has the aerial fell down? Or would you ultima întrebare decât: ”A căzut cumva antena? sau
like to come in and see it?” doriţi să intraţi şi să verificaţi?”
He was liking me even less for saying that. “We Mă plăcea şi mai puţin după ce am zis astea. ”Ştim
know you weren't listening to the television set last că nu ascultaţi televizor vinerea trecută, şi ştii şi tu,
Friday, and so do you, don't you?" nu-i aşa? ”
"P'raps not, but twas looking at it, because ”Poate că nu, dar mă uitam la el, pentru că de multe
sometimes we turn the sound down for a bit of ori oprim sunetul pentru puţină distracţie”. O
fun." I could hear mam laughing from the kitchen, puteam auzi pe mama răzând în bucătărie, şi speram
and I hoped Mike's mam was doing the same if the ca mama lui Mike să facă acelaşi lucru dacă poliţişti
cops had gone to him as well. s-au dus şi la el.
“We know you weren't in the house," he said, ”Ştim că nu ai fost acasă” a spus, începând
starting up again, cranking himself with the handle. încă odată, foarte suspicios. Noi tot timpu ”noi”.
They always say 'We' 'We', never 'I' 'I' -- as if they ”Noi” niciodată ”Eu” ”Eu” – parcă s-ar simţi mai
feel braver and righter knowing there's a lot of them curajoşi şi ar avea mai multă dreptate dacă ştiu că
against only one. sunt mai mulţi împotriva unuia singur.
“I've got witnesses," I said to him. "Mam for one. ”Am martori” i-am zis. ”Mama e unu, prietenul ei
Her fancy-man, for two. Ain't that enough? I can spilcuit e al doilea. Nu ajung? pot să mai găsesc
get you a dozen more, or thirteen altogether, if it vreo duzină, sau treispezece toţi, dacă un brutar a
was a baker's that got robbed." fost jefuit.”
"I don't want no lies," he said, not catching on ”Nu vreau minciuni” a spus, neprinzându-se
about the baker's dozen. Where do they scrape cops de gluma cu duzina brutarului. Oricum de unde îi
up from anyway? "All I want is to get from you adună pe poliţaii ăştia? ”Tot ce vreau să aflu de la
where you put that money." tine e unde ai ascuns banii.”
Don't get mad, I kept saying to myself, don't get Nu te enerva, îmi tot spuneam, nu te enerva
mad-- hearing mam setting out cups and saucers – auzind-o pe mama cum punea ceştile şi farfuriile,
and putting the pan on the stove for bacon. I stood iar tigaia pentru slănină pe foc. M-am dat la o parte
back and waved him inside like I was a butler. şi l-am invitat înauntru ca şi cum aş fi fost un
"Come and search the house. If you've got a majordom. ”Intraţi si verificaţi casa. Dacă aveţi un
warrant." mandat de percheziţie. ”
"Listen, my lad," he said, like the dirty bullying ”Ascultă-mă băiete” a spus arogant şi brutal
jumped-up bastard he was, "I don't want too much ca un nemernic ce era,”Nu prea mă interesează

5
of your lip, because if we get you down to the vorbăria ta, pentru că dacă ajungi la Guildhall o să
Guildhall you'll get a few bruises and black-eyes primeşti nişte vânătăi şi nişte ochi vineţi pentru tot
for your trouble." And I knew he wasn't kidding deranjul.” Şi ştiu că nu glumea, pentru că am auzit
either, because I'd heard about all them sort of despre tot felul de chestii. Speram ca într-o zi el şi
tricks. I hoped one day though that him and all his toţi colegii lui o să fie cei care vor avea ochii vineţi
pals would be the ones to get the black-eyes and şi vor primi loviturile, niciodată nu ştii. Poate veni
kicks; you never knew. It might come sooner than mai repede decăt se aşteptea oricine, ca în Ungaria.
anybody thinks, like in Hungary. "Tell me where ”Spune-mi unde sunt banii şi vei putea ieşi
the money is, and I'll get you off with probation." mai repede provizoriu.”
"What money?" I asked him, because I'd heard that ”Ce bani?” l-am întrebat, pentru că o
one before as well." auzisem şi pe asta înainte.
“You know what money.” ”Ştii ce bani.”
" Do I look as though I'd know owt about money? " ”Arăt eu ca şi cum aş ştii ceva despre bani?”
I said, pushing my fist through a hole in my shirt. am spus, punându-mi pumnul printr-o gaură din
cămaşă.
"The money that was pinched, that you know all ”Banii care au fost furaţi, despre care ştii
about," he said. "You can't trick me, so it's no use totul” a zis. ”Nu mă poţi păcăli, deci nu are rost să
trying." încerci. ”
"Was it three-and-eightpence ha'penny? " I asked, ”Erau cumva trei şilingi şi opt penny
jumate? am întrebat.
"You thieving young bastard. We'll teach you to ”Nemernicule. Pungaşule. O să te învăţăm
steal money that doesn't belong to you." noi să nu mai furi banii care nu îţi aparţin.”
I turned my head around: "Mam," I called out, "get Mi-am întors capul: ”Mama” am strigat,
my lawyer on the blower, will you?" ”sună-mi avocatul , te rog”
"Clever, aren't you? " he said in a very unfriendly ”Şmecher, nu-i aşa” a spus într-o manieră
way, "but we won't rest until we clear all this up." foarte neprietenoasă”dar nu ne vom odihni până nu
clarificăm toate astea”
"Look," I pleaded, as if about to sob my socks off ”Uite ce e”, am pledat, ca şi cum urma să
because he'd got me wrong, "it's all very well us plâng de mama focului pentru că m-a înţeles greşit,
talking like this, it's like a game almost, but I wish e foarte bine că vorbim aşa, chiar în joacă, dar aş
you'd tell me what it's all about, because honest-to- vrea să-mi ziceţi despre ce e vorba, pentru că jur pe

5
God I've just got out of bed and here you are at the Dumnezeu că doar acum m-am sculat din pat şi
door talking about me having pinched a lot of dumneavoastră staţi aici la uşă spunând că eu am
money, money that I don't know anything about." furat o grămadă de bani despre care eu nu ştiu
nimic”
He swung around now as if he'd trapped me, S-a întors de parcă m-ar fi prins în capcană, deşi nu
though I couldn't see why he might think so. întelegeam de ce crede el acest lucru.
"Who said anything about money? I didn't. What ”Cine a zis spus ceva despre banii? eu nu. Ce te-a
made you bring money into this little talk we're făcut să menţionezi banii în această mică discuţie pe
having? " care o avem?”
"It's you," I answered, thinking he was going ”Dumneavoastră” am răspuns, găndindu-mă
barmy, and about to start foaming at the chops, că e prost, şi e pe punctul să facă spume la gură,
"you've got money on the brain, like all policemen. ”aveţi numai banii în cap, ca orice polişist. Brutaria
Baker's shops as well." de asemenea.”
He screwed his face up. "I want an answer from Şi–a schimonosit faţa. ”Vreau un răspuns de
you: where's that money?" la tine: unde sunt banii?”
But I was getting fed-up with all this. "I'll do a Dar deja nu mai suportam toate astea. ”Hai
deal." Judging by his flash-bulb face he thought he să facem un târg.”
was suddenly on to a good thing. "What sort of a Judecând după raza ce i-a iluminat faţa,
deal?" credea că a dat de un lucru bun. ”Ce fel de târg?”
So I told him: "I'll give you all the money I've got, Aşa că i-am zis:”Vă dau toţi banii pe care îi
one and fourpence ha'penny, if you stop this third- am, un şiling şi patru penny şi jumătate dacă
degree and let me go in and get my breakfast. terminaţi cu interogatoriu ăsta şi mă lăsaţi să intru şi
Honest, I'm clambed to death. I ain't had a bite să-mi mănânc micul dejun. Sincer, sunt mort de
since yesterday. Can't you hear my guts rollin'?" foame. Nu am mai mâncat de ieri nimic. Nu-mi
auziţi stomacul ghiorăind?”
His jaw dropped, but on he went, pumping I-a căzut faţa, dar a continuat stresându-mă
me for another half hour. A routine check-up, as încă o jumătate de oră. O anchetă de rutină cum zic
they say on the pictures. But I knew I was winning în filme. Dar ştiam că căştigam puncte.
on points.
Then he left, but came back in the afternoon to Apoi a plecat, dar a revenit după amiaza să
search the house. He didn't find a thing, not a percheziţioneze casa. Nu a găsit nimic, nici măcar

6
French farthing. He asked me questions again and I un ac. Mi-a pus iară întrebări dar eu nu i-am spus
didn't tell him anything except lies, lies, lies, nimic în afară de minciuni, minciuni, minciuni
because I can go on doing that forever without pentru că pot să fac asta pentru mult timp fără să
batting an eyelid. He'd got nothing on me and we arăt vreun semn de oboseală. Nu avea nimic
both of us knew it, otherwise I'd have been down at împotriva mea şi amăndoi ştiam asta, altfel aş fi fost
the Guildhall in no time, but he kept on keeping on în Guildhall cât ai clipi din ochi, dar insista să
because I'd been in a Remand Home for a high-wall insiste pentru că fusesem la Remand Home/la
job before; and Mike was put through the same mill şcoala de corecţie înainte pentru că spărsesem o
because all the local cops knew he was my best pal. casă; iar Mike a fost supus la acelaşi tratament
pentru că poliţaii din zonă ştiau că era prietenul
meu cel mai bun.
When it got dark me and Mike were in our parlour Când s-a înserat eu şi Mike eram în camera
with a low light on and the telly off, Mike taking it noastră de zi cu o lumină slabă şi televizorul stins,
easy in the rocking chair and me slouched out on Mike stând comfortabil într-un balansoar iar eu
the settee, both of us puffing a packet of Woods. întins pe canapea, amândoi fumând un pachet de
With the door bolted and curtains drawn we talked ţigări Woods. Cu zăvorul pus pe uşă şi cu perdele
about the dough we'd crammed up the drainpipe. trase am discutat despre lovelele îndesate în burlan.
Mike thought we should take it out and both of us Mike se gândea să-i scoatem şi să plecăm repede
do a bunk to Skegness or Cleethorpes for a good amândoi la Skegness sau Cleethorpes şi să ne
time in the arcades, living like lords in a boarding distrăm în satul de vacanţă, să trăim ca nişte lorzi
house near the pier, then at least we'd both have had într-o pensiune lângă chei, aşa cel puţin ne-am fi
a big beano before getting sent down. distrat de minune înainte să fim închişi.
"Listen, you daft bleeder," I said, "we aren't going ”Ascultă-mă tâmpitule” i-am spus, ”nu vom
to get caught at all, and we'll have a good time, fi prinşi de loc, şi o să ne distrăm mai încolo”. Am
later." We were so clever we didn't even go out to fost atât de deştepţi că nu ne-am mai dus nici la film
the pictures, though we wanted to. , deşi vroiam să mergem.
In the morning old Hitler-face questioned Dimineaţa Hitler m-am chestionat încă
me again, with one of his pals this time, and the odată, venise cu un prieten de data asta, au venit şi
next day they came, trying as hard as they could to ziua următoare, încercând cât se poate de mult să
get something out of me, but I didn't budge an inch. scoată ceva de la mine, dar nu m-am lăsat deloc.
I know I'm showing off when I say this, but in me Ştiu că mă dau mare când zic asta, dar îi găsisem eu

6
he'd met his match, and I'd never give in to ac de cojocul lui, nu spuneam nimic la întrebările
questions no matter how long it was kept up. They lui indiferent cât de mult insista. Au percheziţionat
searched the house a couple of times as well, which casa de câteva ori, ceea ce m-a făcut să mă gândesc
made me think they thought they really had că poate aveau ceva după care se ghidau, dar acum
something to go by, but I know now that they ştiu că nu aveau nimic, şi că totul era pură
hadn't, and that it was all buckshee speculation. speculaţie. Au întors casa cu fundul în sus, au
They turned the house upside down and inside out răsucit-o ca pe o şosetă veche, au căutat de sus în
like an old sock, went from top to bottom and front jos, din faţă în spate dar bineîneţeles că nu au găsit
to back but naturally didn't find a thing. The copper nimic. Poliţaiul şi-a băgat capul până şi în şemineul
even poked his face up the front-room chimney din sufragerie (care nu mai fusese folosit sau curăţat
(that hadn't been used or swept for years) and came de ani) şi a coborât arătând ca Al Jolson3 încăt a
down looking like Al Jolson so that he had to swill trebuit să se spele în chiuveta din cămară de lângă
himself clean at the scullery sink. They kept bucătărie. Au tot ciocănit şi căutat în jurul marei
tapping and pottering around the big aspidistra plante de fier pe care bunica i-o lăsase mamei,
plant that grandma had left to mam, lifting it up ridicând-o de pe masă să se uite sub faţa de masă,
from the table to look under the cloth, putting it punând-o la o parte ca să poată muta masa să ajungă
aside so's they could move the table and get at the la duşumea – dar dobitocii proşti şi ignoranţi nici nu
boards under the rug-but the big headed stupid s-a gândit să scoată pământul din ghiveciul plantei,
ignorant bastards never once thought of emptying unde ar fi găsit cutia de banii deformată pe care am
the soil out of the plant pot, where they'd have îngropat-o în noaptea când am făcut treaba.
found the crumpled-up money-box that we'd buried Bănuiesc că e încă acolo, acum că mă gândesc, şi
the night we did the job. I suppose it's still there, presupun că mama se miră că de ce nu-i merge
now I think about it, and I suppose mam wonders plantei asa de bine cum îi mergea înainte- de parcă
now and again why the plant don't prosper like it ar putea când are înfăşurat un strat gros şi negru de
used to--as if it could with a fistful of thick black tablă în jurul rădăcinilor.
tin lapped around its guts.
The last time he knocked at our door was Ultima dată când a bătut la uşă era într-o dimineaţă
one wet morning at five minutes to nine and I was la nouă fără cinci iar eu dormeam în patul meu de
sleep-logged in my crumby bed as usual. Mam had calitate proastă. Mama se dusese la muncă în ziua
gone to work that day so I shouted for him to hold aceia aşa că i-am strigat să aştepte puţin şi după am
on a bit, and then went down to see who it was. coborât să văd cine era. Acolo era el, un metru

3
Al Jolson (26 Mai 1886–23 Octombrie 1950) a fost un cunoscut comedian şi actor american de origine evreiasca care a
fost printre cei mai cunoscuţi cântăreţi care a folosit un machiaj negru pe faţă, ceea ce acuma se consideră o formă de
stereotipie rasială.

6
There he stood, six-feet tall and sopping wet, and optzeci şi ud pănă la piele, şi pentru prima oară în
for the first time in my life I did a spiteful thing I'll viaţa mea am făcut un lucru rău pentru care nu mă
never forgive myself for: I didn't ask him to come voi ierta niciodată: nu l-am chemat înăuntru din
in out of the rain, because I wanted him to get ploaie, pentru că vroiam să facă pneumonie şi să
double pneumonia and die. I suppose he could have moară. Presupun că ar fi putut să mă împingă şi să
pushed by me and come in if he'd wanted, but intre dacă vroia, dar poate că se obişnuise să pună
maybe he'd got used to asking questions on the întrebări în prag, şi nu vroia să fie în întărziere
doorstep and didn't want to be put off by changing schimbându-şi locaţia chiar dacă ploua. Nu îmi
his ground even though it was raining. Not that I place să fiu răutăcios din cauza vre-unui principiu
don't like being spiteful because of any barmy stupid pe care l-aş avea, dar această răutate chiar nu
principle I've got, but this bit of spite, as it turned m-a ajutat cu nimic, după cum au evoluat lucrurile
out, did me no good at all. I should have treated până la urmă.Trebuia să-l fi tratat ca pe un frate pe
him as a brother I hadn't seen for twenty years and care nu l-am mai văzut de douăzeci de ani şi să-l fi
dragged him in for a cup of tea and a fag, told him târât înăuntru pentru o cană de ceai şi o ţigară, să-i
about the picture I hadn't seen the night before, spun despre filmul pe care nu l-am văzut aseară, să-
asked him how his wife was after her operation and l întreb cum se simte nevastă-sa după operaţie şi
whether they'd shaved her moustache off to make dacă au trebuit să-i radă mustaţa pentru a
it, and then sent him happy and satisfied out by the supravieţui, şi după să-l trimit fericit şi satisfăcut
front door. But no, I thought, let's see what he's got afară pe uşa din faţă. Dar nu, mi-am zis, să vedem
to say for himself now. ce are acum de zis.
He stood a little to the side of the door, S-a dat un pic la o parte din uşă, poate
either because it was less wet there, or because he pentru că acolo ploua mai puţin sau poate pentru că
wanted to see me from a different 'angle, perhaps vroia să-mi vadă faţa din alt unghi, considerând ca e
having found it monotonous to watch a bloke's face monoton să vezi faţa unui tip ce tot spune minciuni
always telling lies from the same side. "You've din acelaşi unghi. ”Ai fost identificat” a spus,
been identified," he said, twitching raindrops from scuturându-şi mustaţa de picăturile de ploaie. ”O
his tash. "A woman saw you and your mate femeie v-a văzut pe tine şi pe prietenul tău ieri şi
yesterday and she swears blind that you are the jură că voi sunteţi băieţii pe care i-a văzut intrând în
same chaps she saw going into that bakery." brutărie.”
I was dead sure he was still bluffing, Eram sigur că iară blufează, pentru că eu şi
because Mike and I hadn’t even seen each other the Mike nici măcar nu ne văzusem ieri, dar arătam
day before, but I looked worried. She is a menace îngrijorat. ”E o ameninţare pentru oamenii inocenţi,
then to innocent people, whoever she is, because oricine e, pentru că singura brutărie pe care am

6
the only bakery I've been in lately is the one up our văzut-o recent e cea de pe strada noastră când m-am
street to get some cut-bread on tick for mam." dus să iau nişte pâine pe credit pentru mama.”
He didn't bite on this. "So now I want to Nu m-a crezut. ”Aşa că acum vreau să ştiu
know where the money is.” As if I hadn't answered unde sunt banii”- ca şi cum nu i-aş fi răspuns de loc.
him at all.
"I think mam took it to work this, morning to get ”Cred că i-a luat mama azi de dimineaţă să-şi
herself some tea in the canteen." Rain was cumpere un ceai la cantină.” Ploaia cădea aşa de
splashing down so hard I thought he’d get washed tare încăt credeam că va fi luat de apă dacă nu intra
away if he didn't come inside. But I wasn't much înăuntru. Dar nu m-am deranjat foarte mult şi am
bothered, and went on: "I remember I put it in the continuat: ”Îmi aduc aminte că i-am pus în vasul de
telly-vase last night--it was my only one-and-three pe televizor aseară- erau doar un şiling şi trei penny
and I was saving it for a packet of tips this morning ai mei pe care îi păstram pentru un pachet de ţigări
and I nearly had a jibbering black fit Just now when pentru dimineaţa asta – şi aproape că am avut un
I saw it had gone. I was reckoning on it for getting atac de nervii când am văzut că nu mai erau. Pentru
me through today because I don't think life's worth că mă bazam pe ei să mă ţină azi pentru că nu cred
living without a fag, do you? " că viaţa merită trăită fără o ţigară .”
"I was getting into my stride and began to Începusem să-mi intru în mână şi să mă simt
feel good, twigging that this would be my last pack bine, gândindu-mă că ăstea vor fi ultimele mele
of lies, and that if I kept it up for long enough this minciuni, şi dacă o să o ţin destul de mult de data
time I’d have the bastards beat: Mike and me would asta o să-i bat pe nemernici: Mike şi cu mine vom
be off to the coast in a few weeks time, having the pleca pe coastă în câteva săptâmăni şi ne vom distra
fun of our lives, playing at penny football and de minume, jucând fotbal şi agăţând două fufe ce ne
latching on to a couple of tarts that would give us vor face tot la ce sunt ele bune.
all they were good for. “And this weather's no good ”Iar vremea asta nu e bună deloc să te duci să-ţi
for picking up fag-ends in the street," I said, cumperi ţigări pe stradă ”, am spus, ”pentru că vor
"because they'd be sopping wet. Course, I know fi ude. Ştiu că ai putea să le usuci la foc, dar nu mai
you could dry 'em out near the fire, but it don't taste au acelaşi gust, până la urmă. Apa de ploaie le face
the same you know, all said and done. Rainwater ceva la ce nu mă pot gândi: le transformă în ceva
does summat to 'em that don't bear thinkin' about: it greţos şi fără gust.”
turns 'em back into hoss-tods without the taste
though."
I began to wonder, at the back of my Am început să mă gândesc, în capul meu gol, că de
brainless eyes, why old copper-lugs didn't pull me ce acest poliţai tâmpit nu mi-a retezat-o scurt

6
up sharp and say he hadn't got time to listen to all zicându-mi că nu are timp să asculte toate astea, dar
this, but he wasn't looking at me anymore, and all nu se mai uita la mine, şi toate gândurile mele
my thoughts about Skegness went bursting to despre Skegness au fost zdrobite în bucăţi în capul
smithereens in my sludgy loaf. I could have meu sec. Aş fi putut să cad secerat la pământ când
dropped into the earth when I saw what he'd fixed am văzut pe ce avea fixaţi ochii.
his eyes on.
He was looking at it, an ever-loving fiver, and I Se uita la o bancnotă de cinci lire, iar eu numai
could only jabber. “The one thing is to have some trăncăneam: ”Singururl lucru e să ai nişte ţigări
real fags because new hoss-tods is always better adevărate pentru că unele noi sunt întotdeauna mai
than stuff that's been rained on and dried, and I bune decăt cele udate şi uscate, şi ştiu cum e să nu
know how you feel about not being able to find găseşti bani pentru că un şiling şi trei penny nu
money because one-and-three's one-and-three in găseşti în buzunarul oricui şi bineînteles dacă îi văd
anybody's pocket, and naturally if I see it knocking pe undeva vă sun mâine imediat şi vă spun unde să-
around I'll get you on the blower tomorrow i căutaţi.”
straightaway and tell you where you can find it."
I thought I'd go down in a fit: three green- Credeam că o să mor: încă trei banconte s-au scurs
backs as well had been washed down by the water, din cauza ploii, şi mai multe le urmau, fiind întinse
and more were following; lying flat at first after după ce au căzut, iar după, răsucite la capete de vânt
their fall, then getting tilted at the corners by wind şi de picăturile de ploaie ca şi cum ar fi fost în viaţă
and rainspots as if they were alive and wanted to şi ar fi vrut să se întoarcă în burlanul uscat şi
get back into the dry snug drainpipe out of the confortabil afară din vremea asta teribilă, şi nu vă
terrible weather, and you can't imagine how I imaginaţi cât de mult mi-aş fi dorit să fi putut.
wished they'd be able to. Old Hitler-face didn't Poliţaiul cu faţa de Hitler nu pricepea nimic, doar se
know what to make of it but just kept staring down holba în jos, şi mă gândeam că mai bine continui să
and down, and I thought I'd better keep on talking, vorbesc, deşi îmi dădeam seama că nu era de mare
though I knew it wasn't much good now. folos acum.
“It's a fact, I know, that money's hard to ”E ştiut, faptul că banii nu sunt uşor de găsit
come by and half-crowns don't get found on bus iar jumătăţi de coroane nu se găsesc pe scaunele de
seats or in dustbins, and I didn't see any in bed last autobus sau în gunoi, n-am văzut nici una nici în pat
night because I'd 'ave known about it, wouldn't I? aseară pentru că dacă ar fi fost aş fi ştiut de ea, nu-i
You can't sleep with things like that in the bed aşa? Nu poţi dormi cu lucruri din astea în pat pentru
because they're too hard, and anyway at first că sunt prea tari, iar la început sunt...” I-a luat ceva
they're. . . ." It took Hitler-boy a long time to catch timp lui Hitler să se prindă , înainte ca să pună

6
on; they were beginning to spread over the yard a mâna pe umărul meu.; banii începeau să se
bit, reinforced by the third colour of a ten-bob note, împrăştie în curte ajutate de bancnote de altă
before his hand clamped itself on to my shoulder. culoare, de zece lire.

III III

The pop-eyed potbellied governor said to a Directorul grăsun ca un ceaun cu ochii

pop-eyed pot-bellied Member of Parliament who bulbucaţi i-a spus altui grăsun cu ochii bulbucaţi
sat next to his pop-eyed potbellied whore of a wife Membru al Parlamentului care stătea lângă curva de
that I was his only hope for getting the Borstal Blue nevasta-sa grăsună şi cu ochii bulbucaţi că eu eram
Ribbon Prize Cup For Long Distance Cross singura lui speranţă să căştig cupa cu fundă albastră
Country Running (All England), which I was, and la Crosul de alergare pe Distanţe Lungi (toată
it set me laughing to myself inside, and I didn't say Anglia), ceea ce eram, şi m-a făcut să râd în sinea
a word to any pot-bellied pop-eyed bastard that mea, şi nu am zis nici un cuvânt nici unui nemernic
might give them real hope, though I knew the grăsun cu ochii bulbucaţi ca să nu le dau nici o
governor anyway took my quietness to mean he'd speranţă, deşi ştiam că directorul a luat tăcerea mea
got that cup already stuck on the bookshelf in his drept o garanţie că va avea cupa în biblioteca din
office among the few other mildewed trophies. biroul său lângă alte trofee mucegăite.
"He might take up running in. a sort of professional ”Ar putea să se apuce de alergat în mod
way when he gets out," and it wasn't until he'd said profesionist când iese de aici”, şi nu a fost până nu a
this and I'd heard it with my own flap-tabs that I zis asta, până când nu l-am auzit cu propriile urechi
realized it might be possible to do such a thing, run că există o posibiliate să fac asemenea lucru, să
for money, trot for wages on piece work at a bob a alerg pe bani, să galopez taxând un şiling pentru
puff rising bit by bit to a guinea a gasp and retiring răsuflare urcând gradual până la o guinee pe pufăit,
through old age at thirty-two because of lace- să mă pensionez de vârstă la treizeci şi doi de ani
curtain lungs, a football heart, and legs like din cauza plămănilor făcuţi ca o perdea de dantelă,
varicose bean-stalks. But I'd have a wife and car a inimii de mărimea unei mingii de fotbal, şi din
and get my grinning long- distance clock in the cauza varicelor de pe picioare ca nişte vrejuri de
papers and have a smashing secretary to answer fasole. Dar aş avea o nevastă şi o maşină iar moaca
piles of letters sent by tarts who'd mob me when mea zâmbitoare de alegător de cursă lungă ar apărea
they saw who I was as I pushed my way into în ziare, şi aş avea o secretară răpitoare care ar
Woolworth's for a packet of razor blades and a cup răspunde la grămezi de scrisori de la fufe care ar
of tea. It was something to think about all right, and sări pe mine când ar vedea cine sunt, când încercam

6
sure enough the governor knew he'd got me when să intru la Woolworth pentru un pachet de lame şi o
he said, turning to me as if I would at any rate have ceaşcă de ceai. Era ceva la care trebuia să te
to be consulted about it all: gândeşti şi sigur directorul ştia că m-a prins, când s-
a întors către mine, ca şi cum ar fi contat dacă era
consultat sau nu:
"How does this matter strike you, then, Smith, my ”Cum ţi se pare ţie toată treaba asta, Smith,
lad? " băiete?”
A line of potbellied pop-eyes gleamed at me O linie de ochi bulubucaţi s-a uitat la mine
and a row of goldfish mouths opened and wiggled şi un rând de guri de peşte s-au deschis şi rânjit
gold teeth at me, so I gave them the answer they dinţii de aur la mine, aşa că le-am dat răspunsul pe
wanted because I'd hold my trump card until later. care îl asteptau păstrănd As-ul căştigător pentru mai
"It'd suit me fine, sir," I said. tărziu. ”Mi-ar plăcea, domnule,” am spus.
“Good lad. Good show. Right spirit. Splendid." ”Foarte bine băiete. Foarte bine. Atitudinea
corectă. Splendid. ”
"Well," the governor said, "get that cup for us today ”Căştigă cupa aceea pentru noi azi”a spus
and I'll do all I can for you. I'll get you trained so directorul” şi voi face tot ce pot pentru tine. O să te
that you whack every man in the Free World." And antrenez încăt să poţi bate pe oricine în lumea
I had a picture in my brain of me running and liberă.” Şi aveam o imagine în cap cu mine alergând
beating everybody in the world, leaving them all şi depâşindu-i pe toţi din lume, lăsându-i în urmă,
behind until only I was trot-trotting across a big până când eram singurul care mai alerga pe o
wide moor alone, doing a marvellous speed as I câmpie întinsă, având o viteză excelentă sărind
ripped between boulders and reed-clumps, when peste bolovani şi ocolind pâlcuri de stuf când
suddenly: CRACK! CRACK! -bullets that can go deodată: CRACK! CRACK gloanţe care merg mai
faster than any man running, corning from a repede decât orice om poate să fugă, venind din
copper's rifle planted in a tree, winged me and split puşca unui poliţist plantat într-un copac, rânindu-mă
my gizzard in spite of my perfect running, and şi împrăştiindu-mi maţele în ciuda cursei mele
down I fell. perfecte, prăvălindu-mă pe jos.
The potbellies expected me to say Grăsunii aşteptau să mai zic ceva.
something else. “Thank you, Sir,” I said. ”Mulţumesc domnule”am zis.
Told to go, I trotted down the pavilion steps, out to Mi-au spus să plec, aşa că am păşit afară din
the field because the big cross-country was about to cort spre câmp pentru că mare cursă de cross-
begin and the two entries from Gunthorpe had fixed counrty trebuia să înceapă, iar cei doi de la
themselves early at the starting line and were ready Gunthorpe deja se aşezaseră la start şi erau gata să

6
to move off like white kangaroos. The sport ground plece ca doi canguri albi. Terenul de sport arăta de
looked a treat: with big tea-tents all round and flags minune: cu corturi pentru ceai peste tot, cu steaguri
flying and seats for families--empty because no ce fluturau şi scaune pentru famili – goale pentru că
mam or dad had known what opening day meant-- nici o mamă şi nici un tată nu ştia ce înseamnă zi de
and boys still running heats for the hundred yards, deschidere – şi băieţii încălzindu-se pentru cursa de
and lords and ladies walking from stall to stall, and o sută de metri, lorzi si doamnele mergând din stand
the Borstal Boys Brass Band in blue uniforms; and în stand, iar orchestra Borstal Boys cu uniforme
up on the stands the brown jackets of Hucknall as albastre, şi sus pe standuri jachetele maro al celor
well as our own grey blazers, and then the de la Hucknall, bleizerele noastre albastre şi grupul
Gunthorpe lot with shirt sleeves rolled. The blue de la Gunthorpe cu mănecile cămăşilor suflecate.
sky was full of sunshine and it couldn't have been a Cerul albastru era luminat de lumina soarelui şi nu
better day, and all of the big show was like putea să fie o zi mai bună, tot marele spectacol
something out of Ivanhoe that we'd seen on the părea scos din filmul cu Ivanhoe pe care îl văzusem
pictures a few days before. cu câteva zile înainte.
"Come on, Smith," Roach the sports master ”Hai Smith,” Roach antrenorul m-a
called to me, "we don't want you to be late for the chemat,”nu am vrea să întarzii la mare cursă, nu-i
big race, eh? Although I dare say you'd catch them aşa? Desi aş zice că i-ai prinde din urmă, dacă ai fi
up if you were." The others cat-called and grunted în întarziere.” Ceilalţi au huiduit şi s-au încruntat la
at this, but I took no notice and placed myself auzul acestora, dar eu nu i-am băgat în seamă şi m-
between Gunthorpe and one of the Aylesham am băgat între protejaţii din Gunthorpe şi
trusties, dropped on my knees and plucked a few Aylesham, m-am lăsat pe genunchi şi am smuls
grass blades to suck on the way round. So the big căteva fire de iarbă pe care să le sug la întoarcere.
race it was, for them, watching from the grandstand Deci marea cursă era pentru ei, urmărind din marele
under a fluttering Union Jack, a race for the stand sub steagul Marii Britanii ce flutura, o cursă
governor, that he had been waiting for, and I hoped pe care directorul o aşteptase, şi pe care speram ca
he and all the rest of his pop-eyed gang were busy el şi toată gaşca lui cu ochii bulbucaţi, au pariat
placing big bets on me, hundred to one to win, all bani mulţi, o sută la unu că voi căştiga, toţi banii pe
the money they had in their pockets, all the wages care îi aveau în buzunare, toţi banii din salarile pe
they were going to get for the next five years, and următorii cinci ani, şi cu cât mai mult ar paria cu
the more they placed the happier I'd be. Because atât mai fericit aş fi. Pentru că aici era un tip care
here was a dead cert going to die on the big name era sigur ca avea să moară pe numele cel mare pe
they'd built for him, going to go down dying with care i l-au construit, avea să se prăbuşească râzând
laughter whether it choked him or not. My knees chiar dacă l-ar fi sufocat sau nu. Genunchii mei

6
felt the cool soil pressing into them, and out of my simţeau solul rece presând pe ei, l-am văzut cu
eye's corner I saw Roach lift his hand. The colţul ochiului pe Roach ridicându-şi mâna. Băiatul
Gunthorpe boy twitched before the signal was de la Gunthorpe s-a mişcat înainte ca semnalul să
given; somebody cheered too soon; Medway bent fie dat; cineva a încurajat prea repede, Medway s-a
forward; then the gun went, and I was away. aplecat înainte; apoi s-a auzit pistolul, şi am pornit.
We went once around the field and then Am pornit în jurul terenului şi apoi pe o
along a half-mile drive of elms, being cheered all cărare de acces de cinci sute de metri cu ulmi, fiind
the way, and I seemed to feel I was in the lead as încurajaţi pe tot drumul, şi am simţit că sunt în faţă
we went out by the gate and into the lane, though I în timp ce treceam de poartă spre drum, deşi nu
wasn't interested enough to find out. The five-mile eram atăt de interesat încăt să aflu. Cursa era de opt
course was marked by splashes of whitewash kilometri şi a fost marcată cu semne de var pe
gleaming on gateposts and trunks and stiles and stălpii porţilor, pe trunchiuri, pe pârleazuri, pe pietre
stones, and a boy with a waterbottle and bandage- iar la fiecare opt sute de metri era un băiat cu sticle
box stood every half-mile waiting for those that cu apă şi bandaje pentru cei care abandonau sau
dropped out or fainted. Over the first stile, without cădeau. Până la primul pârleaz, fără să mă obosesc,
trying, I was still nearly in the lead but one; and if eram în faţă, în afara unuia; şi dacă vreţi sfaturi
any of you want tips about running, never be in a despre alergat, nu vă grăbiţi niciodată şi nu-i lăsaţi
hurry, and never let any of the other runners know pe ceilalţi alergători să ştie că vă grăbiţi chiar dacă
you are in a hurry even if you are. You can always sunteţi pe grabă. Puteţi oricând să alergaţi o cursă
overtake on long-distance running without letting lungă fără ca ceilalţi să simtă graba din voi; iar când
the others smell the hurry in you; and when you've aţi învăţat meşteşugul acesta pentru ai ajunge pe cei
used your craft like this to reach the two or three up doi sau trei din faţă, atunci puteţi să faceţi un sprint
front then you can do a big dash later that puts mai încolo lăsănd toată graba celorlalţi în umbră
everybody else's hurry in the shade because you've pentru că voi nu aţi fost nevoiţi să vă grăbiţi până
not had to make haste up till then. atunci.
I ran to a steady jog-trot rhythm, and soon it was so Am început să alerg ritmat, care era atât de
smooth that I forgot I was running, and I was calm încât am uitat că alergam, de abia îmi dădeam
hardly able to know that my legs were lifting and seama că picioarele mele se ridicau şi cădeau că
falling and my arms going in and out, and my lungs mâinile mi se balansau, iar plămânii mei nu păreau
didn't seem to be working at all, and my heart să funcţioneze deloc, iar inima mea încetase să bată
stopped that wicked thumping I always get at the bezmetic cum mi se întămpla de obicei la începutul
beginning of a run. Because you see I never race at unei curse. Pentru că eu nu concurez, doar alerg, şi
all; I just run, and somehow I know that if I forget cumva uit că sunt într-o cursă şi doar alerg şi eu

6
I'm racing and only jog-trot along until I don't până când nu mai ştiu că alerg şi întotdeauna căştig
know I'm running, I always win the race. For when cursa. Când ochii mei văd că mă aproprii de
my eyes recognize that I'm getting near the end of sfărşitul cursei – recunoscând un părleaz sau colţul
the course by seeing a stile or cottage corner I put vreunei case – fac un sprint care este foarte puternic
on a spurt, and such a fast big spurt it is because I pentru că simt că până atunci nu am alergat de loc şi
feel that up till then I haven't been running and that nu am folosit de loc energie. Şi am putut să fac aşa
I've used up no energy at all. And I've been able to pentru că pe tot parcursul m-am găndit; şi mă întreb
do this because I've been thinking; and I wonder if dacă sunt singurul din afacerea asta cu alergatu care
I'm the only one in the running business with this are sistemul acesta în care uită că aleargă pentru că
system of forgetting that I'm running because I'm e prea ocupat cu gânditul; şi mă gândesc dacă şi
too busy thinking; and I wonder if any of the other ceilalţi băieţi fac la fel ca mine, deşi ştiu cu
lads are on to the same mark, though I know for a siguranţă că nu. Repede ca vântul pe cărarea
fact that they aren't. Off like the wind along the pietruită şi pe sanţul aleii, mai lin ca iarba de pe
cobbled footpath and rutted lane, smoother than the făgaşul de pe câmp şi mai potrivit pentru gândit
flat grass track on the field and better for thinking pentru că nu era aşa de domol, eram în elementul
because it's not too smooth, and I was in my meu în acea după amiază ştiind că nimeni nu mă
element that afternoon knowing that nobody could putea depăşi şi totuşi plânuind să mă depăşesc pe
beat me at running but intending to beat myself mine înainte ca ziua să se termine. Pentru că atunci
before the day was over. For when the governor când directorul mi-a vorbit despre cinste atunci
talked tome of being honest when I first carne in he când am ajuns aici nu ştia ce însemna cuvântul
didn't know what the word meant or he wouldn't pentru că altfel nu m-ar fi trimis la această cursă,
have had me here in this race, trotting along in alergând în cămaşă şi pantaloni scurţi în lumina
shimmy and shorts and sunshine. He'd have had me soarelui. M-ar fi trimis acolo unde l-aş trimite şi eu
where I'd have had him if I'd been in his place: in a la o carieră de piatră spărgând bolovani până şi-a
quarry breaking rocks until he broke his back. At distruge spatele. Cel puţin tipu ăla care semăna cu
least old Hitler-face the plain-clothes dick was Hitler a fost mai cinstit cu mine decât a fost
honester than the governor because he at any rate directorul, mă ura cum şi eu îl uram pe el, iar când
had had it in for me and I for him, and when my cazul meu urma să fie judecat un poliţai a venit la
case was coming up in court a copper knocked at uşa noastră la patru dimineaţa şi a trezit-o pe mama
our front door at four o'clock in the morning and care era frântă, ca să-i amintească că trebuie să se
got my mother out of bed when she was paralytic prezinte la tribunal la nouă jumate. Era cea mai
tired, reminding her she had to be in court at dead mare răutate de care auzisem, dar aş spune că e
on half past nine. It was the finest bit of spite I've cinstită, la fel cu au fost şi cuvintele mamei când i-a

7
ever heard of, but I would call it honest, the same zis poliţaiului ce gândeşte despre el spunându-i
as my mam's words were honest when she really toate înjurăturile pe care le auzise, ceea ce i-a luat
told that copper what she thought of him' and called jumătate de oră şi a trezit toată strada.
him all the dirty names she'd ever heard of, which
took her half an hour and woke the terrace up.
I trotted on along the edge of a field Am alergat lângă un câmp mărginit de un
bordered by the sunken lane, smelling green grass şanţ, ce mirosea a iarbă verde şi a caprifoi, şi m-am
and honeysuckle, and I felt as though I came from a simţit ca şi cum aş fi un ogar antrenat să alerge în
long line of whippets trained to run on two legs, două picioare, numai că nu vedeam iepurele de
only I couldn't see a toy rabbit in front and there jucărie în faţă şi nici bâta unui miner în spate care
wasn't a collier's cosh behind to make me keep up să mă facă să ţin ritmul. Am trecut de alergătorul de
the pace. I passed the Gunthorpe runner whose la Gunthorpe a cărui cămaşă era deja udă de
shimmy was already black with sweat and .I could transpiraţie şi am văzut doar colţul tufelor din
just see the corner of the fenced- up copse in front spatele gardului din faţă, unde singurul om pe care
where the only man I had to pass to win the race trebuia să-l depăşesc ca să căştig cursa, dădea tot
was going all out to gain the half-way mark. Then din el ca să treacă de semnul de jumătate al cursei.
he turned into a tongue of trees and bushes where I Apoi a intrat într-un pâlc de copaci şi tufişuri si nu
couldn't see him anymore, and I couldn't see l-am mai putut vedea, nu mai vedeam pe nimeni, şi
anybody, and I knew what the loneliness of the am simţit ce însemna singurătatea alergătorului de
long-distance runner running across country felt cursă lungă iar cât mă privea pe mine acest
like, realizing that as far as I was concerned this sentiment era singura realitate şi cinste care exista
feeling was the only honesty and realness there was în lume, şi ştiind că nu se va schimba indiferent de
in the world and I knowing it would be no different ce aş putea simţi în clipele grele şi indiferent de ce
ever, no matter what I felt at odd times, and no oricine ar încerca să-mi spună. Alergătorul din
matter what anybody else tried to tell me. The spatele meu trebuie să fie destul de în urmă pentru
runner behind me must have been a long way off că era foarte linişte era chiar mai puţin zgomot şi
because it was so quiet, and there was even less mai puţină agitaţie decât era la cinci dimineaţa într-
noise and movement than there had been at five o zi îngheţată.
o'clock of a frosty winter morning. It was hard to Era greu de înteles iar tot ce ştiam eu că trebuie să
understand, and all I knew was that you had to run, alergi, să alergi, să alergi fără să ştii de ce fugeai,
run, run, without knowing why you were running, dar oricum treceai de câmpuri pe care nu le
but on you went through fields you didn't întelegeai, intrai în păduri care te înspăimântau,
understand and into woods that made you afraid, peste dealuri pe care nu simţeai că le urcai şi le

7
over hills without knowing you'd been up and coborai, sărind peste pârâuri unde ţi-ai fi rupt gâtul
down, and shooting across streams that would have dacă ai fi căzut în ele. Să treci de postul căstigător
cut the heart out of you had you fallen into them. nu însemna sfărşitul, chiar dacă mulţumile te
And the winning post was no end to it, even though încurajau, pentru că trebuia să continui înainte ca
crowds might be cheering you in, because on you să-ti tragi suflu, singura dată când te opreai de
had to go before you got your breath back, and the adevăratelea era când te împiedicai de trunchiul
only time you stopped really was when you tripped vreunui copac şi îţi rupeai gâtul sau când cădeai
over a tree trunk and broke your neck or fell into a într-un puţ nefolosit şi mureai în întuneric pentru
disused well and stayed dead in the darkness totdeauna.
forever. So I thought: they aren't going to get me on Deci m-am gândit : nu o să mă prindă pe mine cu
this racing lark, this running and trying to win, this chestia asta cu alergatul curselor, să alergi şi să
jog-trotting for a bit of blue ribbon, because it's not încerci să căştigi, fuga asta după o bucată de
the way to go on at all, though they swear blind that panglică albastră, pentru că nu asta este calea pe
it is. You should think about nobody and go your care o urmezi, chiar dacă ei jură că este. Nu ar
own way, not on a course marked out for you by trebui să te gândeşti la nimeni şi să mergi pe drumul
people holding mugs of water and bottles of iodine tău, nu pe cel marcat de oameni care au sticle cu
in case you fall and cut yourself so that they can apă şi iod în caz că te prăbuşeşti ca să te poată
pick you up --even if you want to stay where you ridica -chiar dacă tu ai vrea să stai unde eşti - şi să
are -- and get you moving again. te facă să te mişti din nou.
On I went, out of the wood, passing the man Am înaintat, am iesit din pădure, întrecându-
leading without knowing I was going to do so. Flip- l pe cel ce conducea fără să îmi dau seamă că o fac.
flap, flip-flap, jog-trot, jog-trot, crunchslap- Flip-flap, flip-flap, jog-trot, jog-trot, crunchslap-
crunchslap, across the middle of a broad field crunchslap printr-un câmp întins, alegând ritmat în
again, rhythmically running in my greyhound stilul meu de ogar fără să depun vreun efort, ştiind
effortless fashion, knowing I had won the race că am căştigat cursa deşi nu trecusem de jumătate,
though it wasn't half over, won it if I wanted it, căştigată dacă vroiam, aş fi putut continua
could go on for ten or fifteen or twenty miles if I şaisprezece, douăzeci si patru, treizeci şi doi de
had to and drop dead at the finish of it, which kilometri dacă era necesar chiar dacă aş fi căzut
would be the same, in the end, as living an honest mort la finiş, ceea ce ar fi acelaşi lucru cu o viaţă
life like the governor wanted me to. It amounted to: cinstită ce vroia directorul ca eu duc. Se rezuma la a
win the race and be honest, and on trot-trotting I căştiga cursa, la a fi cinstit, şi înainte am mers la
went, having the time of my life, loving my trap, simţindu-mă de milioane, iubindu-mi
progress because it did me good and set me progresul pentru că îmi făcea bine şi m-a făcut să

7
thinking which by now I liked to do, but not caring mă gândesc ceea ce deja îmi plăcea, nepăsându-mi
at all when I remembered that I had to win this race deloc când mi-am adus aminte că trebuie să cîştig
as well as run it. One of the two, I had to win the cursa asta la fel cum trebui să o şi alerg. Una din
race or run it, and I knew I could do both because două, trebuia să căştig cursa sau să o alerg, ştiam că
my legs had carried me well in front --now coming le pot face pe amândouă pentru că picioarele m-au
to the short cut down the bramble bank and over dus bine în faţă – ajungând la scurtătura în jos pe
the sunken road--and would carry me further malul cu muri peste drumul scufundat - şi m-ar
because they seemed made of electric cable and duce mai departe pentru că picioarele mele păreau
easily alive to keep on slapping at those ruts and făcute din cabluri electrice şi în viaţă continuând să
roots, but I'm not going to win because the only lovească acele drumuri şi acele rădăcini, dar nu voi
way I'd see I came in first would be if winning căştiga pentru că, să căştig pentru mine însemna să
meant that I was going to escape the coppers after scap de poliţişti după ce aş fi făcut cel mai mare jaf
doing the biggest bank job of my life, but winning din viaţa mea asupra unei bănci, dar să căştig
means the exact opposite, no matter how they try to înseamnă exact opusul, oricât ar încerca ei să mă
kill or kid me, means running right into their white- ucidă sau să mă înşele, înseamnă să fugi fix în
gloved wall-barred hands and grinning mugs and mâinile lor cu mănuşi albe şi mutre zâmbitoare şi să
staying there for the rest of my natural long life of rămâi acolo pentru tot restul vieţii spărgând pietre,
stone-breaking anyway, but stone-breaking in the dar spărgându-le în felul meu nu cum îmi spun ei.
way I want to do it and not in the way they tell me.
Another honest thought that comes is that I Alt gând cinstit ce îmi vine în minte e că aş
could swing left at the next hedge of the field, and putea să o cotesc la stânga la următorul gard viu al
under its cover beat my slow retreat away from the câmpului, şi sub adăpostul lui să mă retrag uşor de
sports ground winning post. If could do three or six pe terenul de sport cu posturile căştigătoare. Aş
or a dozen miles across the turf like this and cut a putea alerga patru, sau nouă sau chiar douăzeci de
few main roads behind me so's they'd never know kilometri de-a curmezişul gazonului şi să ocolesc
which one I'd taken; and maybe on the last one câteva drumuri principale încât să nu ştie pe care
when it got dark I could thumb a lorry-lift and get a dintre ele m-am dus; şi poate pe ultimul drum când
free ride north with somebody who might not give s-a lăsat seara aş putea să să fac autostopul şi aş
me away. But no, I said l wasn't daft didn't I? I prinde o cursă gratuită spre nord într-un camion cu
won't pull out with only six months left, and cineva care poate nu m-ar preda. Dar nu, am spus că
besides there's nothing I want to dodge and run nu sunt prost, nu-i aşa? Nu voi evada când au rămas
away from. I only want a bit of my own back on the doar şase luni, şi pe de altă parte nu mă feresc şi nu
In-laws and Potbellies by letting the In-laws sit up fug de nimic; doar vreau să le dau şi eu o parte

7
there on their big posh seats and watch me lose this înapoi celor ce respectă legea şi burtoşilor lăsându-i
race, though as sure as God made me I know that să stea acolo sus pe scaunele lor elegante şi
when I do lose I'll get the dirtiest crap and kitchen privindu-mă cum pierd cursa, deşi cu siguranţă
jobs in the months to go before my time is up. I după ce voi pierde voi primi cele mai murdare şi
won't be worth a threpp'ny-bit to anybody here, mărunte treburi de la bucătărie în următoarele luni
which will be all the thanks I get for being honest până când voi fi eliberat. Nu o să valorez nici trei la
in the only way I know. For when the governor told zece mii aici pentru nimeni, ăstea fiind mulţumirile
me to be honest it was meant to be in his way not pentru că am fost onest în felul meu. Atunci când
mine, and if I kept on being honest in the way he directorul mi-a spus să fiu cinstit era de fapt în felul
wanted and won my race for him he'd see I got the lui şi nu al meu, iar dacă continuam să fiu cinstit în
cushiest six months still left to run; but in my own felul în care vroia el, şi căştigam cursa pentru el, ar
way, well, it's not allowed, and if I find a way of avea grijă ca să am cele mai usoare şase luni rămase
doing it such as I've got now then I'll get what-for de alergat; dar în felul meu, nu e permis, iar dacă
in every mean trick he can set his mind to. And if găsesc o cale cum am găsit acum voi suporta toate
you look at it in my way, who can blame him? răutăţile pe care mintea lui l-ar putea născoci. Iar
dacă te uiţi la astea în felul meu, cine poate sa-l
For this is war -and ain't I said sol-and when I hit judece? Pentru că suntem în război – nu aşa am
him in the only place he knows he'll be sure to get spus? şi când îl voi lovi în singurul loc (unde îl
his own back on me for nor collaring that cup when doare) o să-şi asigure răzbunarea pentru că nu am
his heart's been set for ages on seeing himself colaborat la căstigarea cupei pe care şi-o dorea de
standing up at the end of the afternoon to clap me ani şi se imagina la sfărşitul după amiezi cum mă
on the back as I take the cup from Lord Earwig or bătea pe spate în timp ce luam cupa de la lordul
some such chinless wonder with a name like that. Urechelniţă sau de la altă minunăţie fără bărbie cu
And so I'll hit him where it hurts a lot, and he'll do un nume asemănător. Aşa că îl voi lovi unde îl
all he can to get his own back, tit for tat, though I'll doare tare, şi el va face tot ce e posibil să se
enjoy it most because I'm hitting first, and because răzbune, ochi pentru ochi, deşi pe mine o să mă
I planned it longer. I don't know why I think these bucure mai tare pentru că sunt primul care loveşte şi
thoughts are better than any I've ever had, but I do, pentru că am plănuit-o mai mult. Nu ştiu de ce cred
and I don't care why. I suppose it took me a long că aceste gânduri sunt cu mult mai bune decăt
time to get going on all this because I've had no oricare pe care le am de obicei, dar aşa cred, şi nu-
time and peace in all my bandit life, and now my mi pasă de ce. Presupun că mi-a luat ceva vreme să
thoughts are coming fast and the only trouble is I mă pornesc asupra acestor lucruri pentru că nu am
often can't stop, even when my brain feels as if it's avut niciodată timp în toată viaţa mea de bandit, iar

7
got cramp, frostbite and creeping paralysis all acum gândurile îmi vin perfect şi singura problemă
rolled into one and I have to give it a rest by slap- e că de multe ori nu le pot opri, chiar dacă creierul
dashing down through the brambles of the sunken meu simte că are deodată crampe, degerături şi
lane. paralizie schiloditoare şi trebuie să-i dau o pauză
coborând repede prin murii de pe drumul scufundat.
And all this is another upper-cut I'm getting in first Şi asta e altă lovitură uppercut pe care o dau primul
at people like the governor, to show how--if I can-- oamenilor ca directorul, să le arăt – dacă pot – că
his races are never won even though some bloke cursele lor nu sunt niciodată câştigate chiar dacă tot
always comes unknowingly in first, how in the end timpul un tip va ajunge primul fără să ştie, cum în
the governor is going to be doomed while blokes final directorul va fi blestemat în timp ce tipii ca
like me will take the pickings of his roasted bones mine vor lua rămăşiţele oaselor lui copate şi vor
and dance like maniacs around his Borstal's ruins. dansa ca maniacii în jurul ruinelor de la Brostal. Şi
And so this story's like the race and once again I această povestire e ca cursa şi din nou nu am să
won't bring off a winner to suit the governor; no, căştig să-i fac pe plac directorului; nu, sunt sincer,
I'm being honest like he told me to, without me cum mi-a zis să fiu, fără ca el să ştie ce vrea să
knowing what he means, though I don't suppose spună, deşi nu cred că o să vină cu versiunea lui,
he'll ever come in with a story of his own, even if chiar dacă o citeşte pe asta a mea şi ştie despre cine
he reads this one of mine and knows who I'm vorbesc.
talking about.
I've just come up out of the sunken lane, Tocmai am ieşit de pe drumul scufundat,
kneed and elbowed, thumped and bramble- coate şi genunchi zgăriate de mărăciniş iar cursa e
scratched, and the race is two-thirds over, and a trecută de două treimi, o voce ca un radio se aude în
voice is going like a wireless in my mind saying mintea mea spunând că atunci când ţi-a ajuns să te
that when you've had enough of feeling good like simţi bine ca primul om de pe pământ într-o
the first man on earth of a frosty morning, and dimineaţă îngheţată, şi ştii cum e să te simţi rău ca
you've known how it is to be taken bad like the last ultimul om de pe pământ într-o dupamiază de vară,
man on earth on a summer's afternoon, then you get atunci ajungi în sfărşit, să fii ca singurul om de pe
at last to being like the only man on earth and don't pământ care nu dă o ceapă degerată pe bine sau rău,
give a bogger about either good or bad, but just trot doar aleargă în tenişii ce lovesc solul bun şi uscat
on with your slippers slapping the good dry soil care cel puţin nu îţi va juga niciodată o farsă. Aceste
that at least would never do you a bad turn. Now cuvinte parcă vin dintr-un radio stricat, şi ceva se
the words are like coming from a crystal-set that's întămplă în interiorul cutiei maţelor mele şi nu ştiu
broken down, and something's happening inside the ce e sau pe cine să învinuiesc, o măcinătură lângă

7
shell-case of my guts that bothers me and I don't inimă ca şi cum o pungă de şuruburi ruginite ar fi
know why or what to blame it on, a grinding near libere înăuntrul meu şi le-aş scutura cu fiecare pas
my ticker as though a bag of rusty screws is loose înainte.
inside me and I shake them up every time I trot
forward. Now and again I break my rhythm to feel Din când în când îmi stricam ritmul pentru a
my left shoulder- blade by swinging a right hand îndepărta cuţitul ce cumva se blocasea în omoplatul
across my chest as if to rub the knife away that has stâng mişcându-mi mâna dreaptă peste piept. Ştiu
somehow got stuck there. But I know it's nothing to că nu e nimic ce să mă îngrijoreze, probabil e din
bother about, that more likely it's caused by too cauza gânditului excesiv care din când în când se
much thinking that now and again I take for worry. transformă în grijă. Pentru că câteodată sunt cel mai
For sometimes I'm the greatest worrier in the world îngrijorat om din lume (după cum v-aţi dat seama
I think (as you twigged I'll bet from me having got singuri după cum am scris această poveste) ceea ce
this story out) which is funny anyway because my e distractiv e că mama nici nu ştie ce înseamnă
mam don't know the meaning of the word so I don't grijă, deci nu semăn cu ea, pe când tata a avut
take after her; though dad had a hard time of worry partea lui de griji toată viaţa lui până când a umplu
all his life up to when he filled his bedroom with camera cu sânge cald şi a dat colţu în acea
hot blood and kicked the bucket that morning when dimineaţă când nu era nimeni acasă. Nu voi uita
nobody was in the house. I'll never forget it, niciodată, jur că nu, pentru că eu am fost cel care l-a
straight I won't, because I was the one that found găsit şi deseori îmi doresc să nu fi fost eu cel care a
him and I often wished I hadn't. Back from a făcut-o. Mă întorceam după o sesiune de jucat la
session of the fruit-machines at the fish. and-chip automatele cu monede la un magazin cu peşte şi
shop, jingling my three-lemon loot to a nail-dead cartofi, jonglând cu cele trei lâmăi furate, într-o
house, as soon as I got in I knew something was casă moartă ca un mormânt, de îndată ce am intrat
wrong, stood leaning my head against the cold mi-am dat seama că ceva nu era în ordine, am stat
mirror above the mantel-piece trying not to open sprijunându-mi capul de oglinda rece de deasupra
my eyes and see my stone-cold clock -because I poliţei de deasupra căminului încercând să nu-mi
knew I'd gone as white as a piece of chalk since deschid ochii şi să-mi văd faţa rece ca o piatră –
coming in as if I'd been got at by a Dracula- pentru că ştiam că eram alb ca o bucată de cretă de
vampire and even my penny-pocket winnings kept când intrasem ca şi cum vampirul Dracula m-ar fi
quiet on purpose. prins, chiar şi căştigurile mele de căţiva penny au
rămas liniştite parcă dinadins.
Gunthorpe nearly caught me up. Birds were Gunthorpe aproape m-a prins din urmă.
singing from the briar hedge, and a couple of Păsările cântau din gardul cu trandafiri sălbatici, iar

7
thrushies flew like lightning into some thorny doi sturzii au trecut ca un fulger spre un boschet
bushes. Corn had grown high in the next field and spinos. Porumbul crescuse înalt în următorul câmp
would be cut down soon with scythes and mowers; şi urma să fie tăiat cu seceri şi coase; dar niciodată
but I never wanted to notice much while running in nu am vrut să le bag în seamă când fugeam pentru
case it put me off my stroke, so by the haystack I că nu vroiam să mă distragă, aşa că după căpiţa de
decided to leave it all behind and put on such a fân m-am hotărât să las totul în urmă şi să sprintez,
spurt, in spite of nails in my guts, that before long în ciuda cuielor din stomac, aşa că în curând i-am
I'd left both Gunthorpe and the birds a good way lăsat în cu mult în urmă pe Gunthorpe şi pe păsări,
off; I wasn't far now from going into that last mile nu mai aveam mult şi intram în ultimi doi kilometri
and a half like a knife through margarine, but the jumate, ca un cuţit în margarină, dar liniştea în care
quietness I suddenly trotted into between two am alergat trecând de doi ţăruşi a fost ca şi cum aş
pickets was like opening my eyes underwater and fi deschis ochii sub apă să mă uit la pietricelele de
looking at the pebbles on a stream bottom, pe fund râului, amintindu-mi iară de aceea dată
reminding me again of going back that morning to când m-am întors acasă când taică-miu murise, ceea
the house in which my old man had croaked, which ce e ciudat pentru că nu mă mai gândisem la asta de
is funny because I hadn't thought about it at all când se întămplase, şi nici atunci nu m-am gândit
since it happened and even then J didn't brood mult. Mă întreb de ce? Bănuiesc că de când am
much on it, I wonder why? I sup- pose that since I început să mă gândesc în aceste curse lungi mă pot
started to think on these long-distance runs I'm aştepta la orice să apară şi să mă sâcăie la maţe şi
liable to have anything crop up and pester at my măruntaie, iar acum când îl văd pe tata sângerând în
tripes and innards, and now that I see my bloody fiecare fir de iarbă în mintea mea proastă de
dad behind each grass-blade in my barmy runner- alergător nu mai sunt aşa sigur că îmi place să
brain I'm not so sure I like to think and that it's such gândesc sau că e un lucru aşa de bun, până la urmă.
a good thing after all. I choke my phlegm and keep Am scuipat flegma şi am continuat să alerg oricum,
on running anyway and curse the Borstal- builders blestemându-i pe constructorii Brostalului şi
and their athletics-flappity-flap, slop-slop, crunch- atletismul lor- flappity-flap, slop-slop, crunchslap-
slap-crunchslap-crunchslap--who've maybe got crunchslap-crunchslap – care poate au şi ei ceva cu
their own back on me from the bright beginning by mine de la început glisându-mi lanterne magice în
sliding magic-lantern slides into my head that never cap, care înainte nu aveau nici o şansă. Numai dacă
stood a chance before. Only if I take whatever accept ce vine în viaţa ca următorul pas în alergatul
comes like this in my runner's stride can I keep on meu, pot să continui să fiu cum eram înainte şi să-i
keeping on like my old self and beat them back; înving; iar acum că m-am gândit până aici ştiu că
and now I've thought on this far I know I'll win, in voi căştiga, în final. Deci, oricum după un timp am

7
the crunchslap end. So anyway after a bit I went urcat pas cu pas negândindu-mă cum îl voi găsi pe
upstairs one step at a time not thinking anything tata şi ce voi face după ce l-am găsit. Dar acum
about how I should find dad and what I'd do when I încerc să mă revanşez evocându-i viaţa putredă pe
did. But now I'm making up for it by going over the care a avut-o de când îmi aduc aminte, lovindu-se
rotten life mam led him ever since I can remember, de diferiţi bărbaţi chiar şi când era sănătos iar ei
knocking-on with different men even when he was nepăsându-i dacă el ştie sau nu, iar de cele mai
alive and fit and she not caring whether he knew it multe ori el nefiind aşa de orb pe cum îl credea ea,
or not, and most of the time he wasn't so blind as înjurând şi urlând, şi ameninţând să o pocnească iar
she thought and cursed and roared and threatened eu trebuind să intervin deşi ştiam că o merita. Ce
to punch her tab, and I had to stand up to stop him viaţă avem cu toţii! Nu mă plâng, pentru că dacă aş
even though I knew she deserved it. What a life for face-o aş putea foarte bine să căştig această cursă
all of us. Well, I'm not grumbling, because if I did I nenorocită, ceea ce nu voi face, deşi dacă nu
might just as well win this bleeding race, which I'm încetinesc o voi căştiga fără să-mi dau seama unde
not going to do, though if I don't lose speed I'll win sunt, şi atunci unde voi fi?
it before I know where I am, and then where would
I be? Now I can hear the sportsground noise and Acum pot să aud zgomotul şi muzica de pe
music as I head back for the flags and the lead-in terenul de sport în timp ce mă îndrept spre steaguri
drive, the fresh new feel of underfoot gravel going şi drumul ce duce înainte, simţind pietrişul nou de
against the iron muscles of my legs. I'm nowhere sub picioarele mele cum se izbeşte de muşchii mei
near puffed despite that bag of nails that rattles as de fier. Nici măcar nu mi-am pierdut suflu, în ciuda
much as ever, and I can still give a big last leap like grămezii de cuie care se agită la fel de mult, şi pot
gale-force wind if I want to, but everything is under să mai sprintez încă odată ca o rafală de vânt dacă
control and I know now that there ain't another vreau, dar totul e sub control şi acum ştiu că nu
long-distance cross-country running runner in există un alt alergător de cursă lungă în Anglia care
England to touch my speed and style. Our să mă depăşească la stil şi viteză. Nemernicul si
doddering bastard of a governor, our half-dead senilul de director, conducătorul nostru aproape
gangrened gaffer is hollow like an empty petrol putrezit, e gol ca o canistră de petrol, şi vrea ca eu şi
drum, and he wants me and my running life to give viaţa mea de alergător să-i dea lui faimă, să-i
him glory, to put in him blood and throbbing veins pompez sânge în vene unde nu a avut niciodată,
he never had, wants his potbellied pals to be his vrea ca prietenii lui burtoşi să fie martori cum eu
witnesses as I gasp and stagger up to his winning gâfăi şi mă împiedic spre postul căştigător încăt să
post so's he can say, poată să spună:
“My Borstal gets that cup, you see. I win „Brostalul meu căştigă cupa, vedeţi. Căştig

7
my bet, because it pays to be honest and try to gain pariul, pentru că merită să fii cinstit şi să încerci să
the prizes I offer to my lads, and they know it, have căştigi premiile pe care le ofer băieţilor mei, iar ei
known it all along. They'll always be honest now, ştiu, şi au ştiut tot timpul. De acum înainte vor fi tot
because I made them so." And his pals will think: timpul cinstiţi pentru că eu i-am învăţat să fie.” Iar
"He trains his lads to live right, after all; he prietenii lui vor gândi : „Îi învaţă pe băieţii lui să
deserves a medal but we'll get him made a Sir "-- trăiască corect, până la urmă; merită o medalie chiar
and at this very moment as the birds come back to îl vom face Sir” - iar acum în acest moment când
whistling I can tell myself I'll never care a sod what păsările reîncep să cânte îmi pot spune că niciodată
any of the chinless spineless In-laws think or say. nu mă va interesa ce gândeşte sau spune unul dintre
aceşti cetăţeni cinstiţi fără coloană vertebrală şi
bărbie.
They've seen me and they're cheering now M-au văzut şi mă încurajează iar difuzoarele
and loudspeakers set around the field like elephant's aranjate în jurul terenului ca nişte urechi de elefant
ears are spreading out the big news that I'm well in răspândesc marea ştire că sunt primul loc mult în
the lead, and can't do anything else but stay there. faţă, şi nu pot pierde această poziţie. Încă mă
But I'm still thinking of the Out-law death my dad gândesc la moartea de rău făcător pe care a murit-o
died, telling the doctors to scat from the house tata, cum le spunea doctorilor să plece din casă când
when they wanted him to finish up in hospital (like ei vroiau să-l ducă să moară la spital (ca un
a bleeding guinea-pig, he raved at them). He got up porcuşor de Guinea, a urlat la ei necontrolat). S-a
in bed to throw them out and even followed them ridicat din pat ca să-i dea afară şi chiar i-a condus
down the stairs in his shirt though he was no more pe scări doar în cămaşă chiar dacă era decât piele şi
than skin and stick. They tried to tell him he'd want os. Au încercat să-i spună că are nevoie de anumite
some drugs but he didn't fall for it, and only took medicamente dar nu s-a lăsat, a luat doar nişte
the pain-killer that mam and I got from a herb- calmante pe care i le luasem eu si mama de la un
seller in the next street. It's not till now that I know plafar de pe strada de lângă. Numai acum mi-am dat
what guts he had, and when I went into the room seama ce curaj a avut, şi când am intrat în cameră în
that morning he was lying on his stomach with the acea dimineaţă stătea pe stomac cu hainele răvăşite,
clothes thrown back, looking like a skinned rabbit, arătând ca un iepure jupuit, capul lui gri fiind
his grey head resting just on the edge of the bed, proptit doar pe marginea patului, iar pe podea era
and on the floor must have been all the blood he'd tot sângele pe care îl avea în corp, de la unghiile
had in his body, right from his toe-nails up, for picioarelor în sus, pentru că tot linoleumul şi
nearly all of the lino and carpet was covered in it, covorul erau îmbibate în el, subţire şi roz.
thin and pink.
Înainte pe alee m-m dus, având o inimă ca
barajul Boulder4 peste arterele mele, punga cu cuie

7
 And down the drive I went, carrying a heart strânsă din ce în ce mai tare ca într-o menghină de
blocked up like Boulder Dam across my arteries, lemn, dar cu picioarele ca nişte aripi de pasăre iar
the nail-bag clamped down tighter and tighter as mâinile ca niste gheare gata să zboare deasupra
though in a woodwork vice, yet with my feet like terenului, doar că nu vroiam să fac un aşa show, sau
bird wings and arms like talons ready to fly across să căştig cursa din greşeală. Miros ziua călduroasă
the field except that I didn't want to give anybody şi uscată acum când mă îndrept spre finiş, trecând
that much of a show, or win the race by accident. I de o grămadă mare ca un munte de iarbă golită din
smell the hot dry day now as I run towards the end, pungile prinse de faţa maşinilor de tuns iarbă,
passing a mountain-heap of grass emptied from împinse de colegii mei; smulg o bucată de scoarţă
cans hooked on to the fronts of lawn- mowers cu degetele şi mi-o îndes în gură, mestecând lemn,
pushed by my pals; I rip a piece of tree-bark with praf şi poate viermi alerg pănâ aproape mi-e rău,
my fingers and stuff it in my mouth, chewing wood totuşi înghiţind tot ce pot din ea pentru că mi-a
and dust and maybe maggots as I run until I'm şoptit o păsărică că trebuie să trăiesc cel puţin
nearly sick, yet swallowing what I can of it just the pentru mai mult timp, chiar dacă şase luni nu voi
same because a little birdie whistled to me that I've mirosi iarba, nu voi gusta scoarţa asta prăfoasă, nu
got to go on living for at least a bloody sight longer voi păşi pe această alee încăntătoare. Nu-mi place
yet but that for six months I'm not going to smell că trebuie să spun asta dar ceva m-a făcut foarte
that grass or taste that dusty bark or trot this lovely bine să plâng, iar de plâns foarte bine nu am mai
path. I hate to have to say this but something plâns de când eram un copil de doi sau trei ani.
bloody-well made me cry, and crying is a thing I Încetinesc ca Gunthorpe să mă prindă din urmă, şi o
haven't bloody well done since I was a kid of two fac într-un loc unde aleea coteşte spre terenul de
or three. Because I'm slowing down now for sport – unde pot vedea ce face, în special directorul
Gunthorpe to catch me up, and I'm doing it in a şi gaşca lui din marele stand, şi merg atât de încet
place just where the drive turns in to the încăt parcă bat timpul. Cei de pe cele mai apropiate
sportsfield--where they can see what I'm doing, scaune nu s-au prins încă de ce se întămplă şi
especially the governor and his gang from the aplaudă ca nebunii, gata ca eu să fac ultimul sprint,
grandstand, and I'm going so slow I'm almost iar eu tot întrebându-mă când naiba Gunthorpe din
marking time. Those on the nearest seats haven't urma mea mă va întrece pentru că nu pot sta aici
caught on yet to what's happening and are still toată ziua, şi mă găndesc, la naiba, ăsta e norocul
cheering like mad ready for when I make that mark, meu nenorocit Gunthorpe a abandonat şi voi fi
and I keep on wondering when the bleeding hell nevoit să stau aici jumate de oră până când apare
Gunthorpe behind me is going to nip by on to the următorul tip, dar cu toate astea, zic, nu mă voi
field because I can't hold this up all day, and I think clinti, nu voi trece acea ultimă sută de metri chiar

4
Boulder Dam fostul nume dat barajului Hoover din Canionul Negru de pe răul Colorado la graniţa dintre statele Arizona
şi Nevada din Statele Unite ale Americii.

8
Oh Christ it's just my rotten luck that Gunthorpe's de va fi să stau cu picioarele încrucişate pe iarbă şi
dropped out and that I'll be here for half an hour directorul şi minunăţiile fără bărbie ale lui vor veni
before the next bloke comes up, but even so, I say, să mă ridice pe sus şi să mă ducă acolo, ceea ce ar fi
I won't budge, I won't go for that last hundred yards împotriva regulilor lor aşa că puteţi să vă daţi seama
if I have to sit down cross-legged on the grass and că nu o vor face niciodată pentru că nu sunt destul
have the governor and his chinless wonders pick de deştepţi încât să încalce regulile – cum aş face
me up and carry me there, which is against their eu, dacă aş fi în locul lor – cu toate că sunt regulile
rules so you can bet they' d never do it because lor.
they're not clever enough to break the rules-- like I Nu, îi voi arăta ce înseamnă cinstea chiar dacă e
would be in their place--even though they are their ultimu lucru pe care îl fac, deşi nu o să înteleagă
own. No, I'll show him what honesty means if it's niciodată pentru că dacă el şi toţi ca el ar întelege ar
the last thing I do, though I'm sure he'll never însemna că e de partea mea, ceea ce e imposibil. La
understand because if he and all them like him did naiba, voi îndura asta cum a facut-o şi tata cu
it'd mean they'd be on my side which is impossible. durearea lui şi i-a dat afară pe doctori: dacă el avut
By God I'll stick this out like my dad stuck out his curaj pentru aia atunci şi eu am curaj pentru asta, şi
pain and kicked them doctors down the stairs: if he aici stau aşteptându-l pe Gunthorpe şi pe Aylesham
had guts for that then I've got guts for this and here să ţăşnească pe pistă să treacă direct de panglica
I stay waiting for Gunthorpe or Aylesham to bash prinsă între posturile căştigătoare. Cât despre mine,
that turf and go right slap-up against that bit of singura dată când voi trece de acea panglică va fi
clothes-line stretched across the winningpost. As când voi muri şi un coşciug confortabil mă va
for me, the only time I'll hit that clothes-line will be aştepta pe partea cealaltă. Până atunci sunt un
when I'm dead and a comfortable coffin's been got alergător de cursă lungă, traversând ţara pe cont
ready on the other side. Until then I'm a long- propriu indiferent de cât de rău s-ar simţi.
distance runner, crossing country all on my own no Băieţii din Essex ţipau până s-au albăstrit
matter how bad it feels. spunându-mi să mă mişc odată, fluturându-şi
The Essex boys were shouting themselves mâinile, ridicându-se în picioare ca şi cum ar fi vrut
blue in the face telling me to get a move on, waving să alerge ei până la sfoara care era doar la căţiva
their arms, standing up and making as if to run at metrii de ei. Gaşcă nestatornică, mi-am zis, stând la
that rope themselves because they were only a few postul căştigător, dar ştiam că nu credeau în ce
yards to the side of it. You cranky lot, I thought, ţipau, şi că erau de fapt de partea mea şi întotdeauna
stuck at that winning post, and yet I knew they vor fi, nici ei neputând să-şi ţină mâinile acasă,
didn't mean what they were shouting, were really intrând şi ieşind de la poliţie şi închisoare. Acolo
on my side and always would be, not able to keep erau distrându-se de minune aplaudându-mă ca
their maulers to themselves, in and out of cop- nebunii ceea ce l-a făcut pe director să creadă că
shops and clink. And there they were now having erau trup şi suflet de partea lui, ceea ce nu ar fi

8
the time of their lives letting themselves go in gândit niciodată dacă ar fi avut o urmă de creier.
cheering me which made the governor think they Puteam să-i aud pe doamne şi pe lorzi din marele
were heart and soul on his side when he couldn't stand, şi i-am văzut cum s-au ridicat să mă
have thought any such thing if he'd had a grain of încurajeze: „Aleargă” strigau cu vocile lor
sense. And I could hear the lords and ladles now sofisticate. „Aleargă!” Dar eram surd, prost şi orb,
from the grandstand, and could see them standing şi am stat unde eram, încă mai simţind gustul
up to wave me in: "Run!" they were shouting in scoarţei din gură şi plăngând ca un copil, plăngând
their posh voices. "Run!" But I was deaf, de fericire că i-am înfrânt în sfărşit.
daffandblind, and stood where I was, still tasting
the bark in my mouth and still blubbing like a baby,
blubbing now out of gladness that I'd got them beat Am auzit hohote şi i-am văzut pe cei de la
at last. Gunthorpe aruncându-şi hainele sus în aer şi am
Because I heard a roar and saw the Gunthorpe gang simţit pat-pat picioarelor pe pistă apropriindu-se de
throwing their coats up in the air and I felt the pat- mine şi dintr-o dată un miros de transpiraţie şi o
pat of feet on the drive behind me getting closer pereche de plămâni cu o ultimă răsuflare m-au
and closer and suddenly a smell of sweat and a pair întrecut şi s-au legănat spre panglică, stors şi
of lungs on their last gasp passed me by and went bălăngânindu-se dintr-o parte în alta, grohăind ca un
swinging on towards that rope, all shagged out and Zulu care nu ştie mai bine, ca fantoma mea la nouă
rocking from side to side, grunting like a Zulu that zeci de ani care se îndreaptă spre coşciugul ală gras
didn't know any better, like the ghost of me at şi tapiţat. L-aş fi putut aplauda şi eu: „fugi fugi, dă-i
ninety when I'm heading for that fat upholstered bătaie. Leagă-te cu panglica aia.” Dar era deja
coffin. I could have cheered him myself: "Go on, acolo, aşa că m-am dus şi eu, alergând după el până
go on, get cracking. Knot yourself up on that piece am ajuns la panglică, unde am căzut cu un răget
of tape." But he was already there, and so I went groaznic ieşind din mine în timp ce eram în
on, trot-trotting after him until I got to the rope, and continuare pe partea greşită.
collapsed, with a murderous sounding roar going
up through my ears while I was still on the wrong E timpul să mă opresc, dar să nu credeţi că
side of it. nu mai alerg, pentru că o mai fac, într-un fel sau în
It's about time to stop; though don't think altul. Directorul Brostal-ului s-a dovedit a fi cum
I'm not still running, because I am, one way or mă aşteptam, nu mi-a respectat cinstea deloc; nu că
another. The governor at Borstal proved me right; m-aş fi aşteptat să o facă, nici nu am încercat să-i
he didn't respect my honesty at all; not that I explic, dar dacă e educat cum se presupune că e,
expected him to, or tried to explain it to him, but if trebuie să-şi fi dat singur seama. S-a răzbunat pe
he's supposed to be educated then he should have mine destul, sau cel puţin aşa a crezut el, pentru că
more or less twigged it. He got his own back right m-a pus să car gunoaiele în fiecare dimineaţă din

8
enough, or thought he did, because he had me bucătaria cea mare în fundul grădinii unde trebuia
carting dustbins about every morning from the big să le arunc, iar după amiaza trebuia să împrăştii
full-working kitchen to the garden-bottoms where I zoaie peste cartofii şi morcovii ce creşteau pe
had to empty them; and in the afternoon spread out parcelă. Seara spălam podele, metrii şi metrii. Dar
slops over spuds and carrots growing in the nu a fost o viaţă grea pentru şase luni, asta fiind un
allotments. In the evenings I scrubbed floors, miles alt lucru pe care nu-l putea întelege niciodată şi pe
and miles of them. But it wasn't a bad life for six care l-ar fi făcut mai neplăcut dacă ar fi putut, dar a
months, which was another thing he could never meritat când mă uit înapoi, luând în considerare
understand and would have made it grimmer if he toate gândurile pe care le-am avut, şi faptul că
could, and it was worth it when I look back on it, băieţii s-au prins că am pierdut cursa dinadins şi nu
considering all the thinking I did, and the fact that au avut destule laude ca să-mi zică şi înjurăturii
the boys caught on to me losing the race on purpose (şoptite în gând) pentru director.
and never had enough good words to say about me,
or curses to throw out (to themselves) at the Munca nu m-a frânt, dacă mi-a făcut ceva, a
governor. fost să mă facă mai puternic în multe feluri, iar
The work didn't break me; if anything it directorul a ştiut,când am plecat, că ciuda lui nu l-a
made me stronger in many ways, and the governor dus nicăieri. După ce am ieşit de la Brostal au
knew, when I left, that his spite had got him încercat să mă bage în armată, dar nu am trecut de
nowhere. For since leaving Borstal they tried to get examenul medical, şi vă spun şi de ce. De îndată ce
me in the army, but I didn't pass the medical and I'll am ieşit, după cursă şi după şase luni de muncă
tell you why. No sooner was I out, after that final grea, m-am îmbolnăvit de pleurezie, ceea ce
run and six-months hard, that I went down with înseamnă căt mă priveşte pe mine, că am pierdut
pleurisy, which means as far as I'm concerned that I cursa directorului de două ori, şi am căştigat-o pe a
lost the governor's race all right, and won my own mea de două ori, pentru că ştiu cu siguranţă că dacă
twice over, because I know for certain that if I nu aş fi alergat în cursa aceea nu m-aş fi îmbolnăvit
hadn't raced my race I wouldn't have got this de pleurezie, ce m-a scăpat de armată dar nu mă
pleurisy, which keeps me out of khaki but don't împiedică să fac ce vor degetele mele fără odihnină.
stop me doing the sort of work my itchy fingers Am ieşit acum iar temperatura a crescut din nou,
want to do. dar nu m-au prins şobolanii încă după ultimul jaf pe
I'm out now and the heat’s switched on care l-am făcut. Am numărat şase sute douăzeci şi
again, but the rats haven't got me for the last big opt de lire şi încă trăiesc din ele pentru că am făcut
thing I pulled. I counted six hundred and twenty- treaba pe cont propriu, şi după asta am avut liniştea
eight pounds and am still living off it because I did să scriu toate astea, şi îmi vor ajunge să pot trăi
the job all on my own, and after it I had the peace până îmi voi termina planurile pentru un jaf şi mai
to write all this, and it'll be money enough to keep mare, un as în mânecă, despre care nu aş zice

8
me going until I finish my plans for doing an even nimănui. Mi-am dezvoltat sisteme şi locuri de
bigger snatch, something up my sleeve I wouldn't ascunzătoare în timp ce frecam cu peria duşumelele
tell to a living soul. I worked out my systems and din Brostal, mi-am plănuit viaţa de inocenţă şi
hiding-places while pushing scrubbing-brushes muncă cinstită, şi în acelaşi timp am devenit expert
around them Borstal floors, planned my outward în meseria mea pe care ştiam că o voi face,de îndată
life of innocence and honest work, yet at the same ce voi fi liber; şi o voi face din nou chiar dacă voi fi
time grew perfect in the razor-edges of my craft for prins de nenorociţii aştia de poliţai.
what I knew I had to do once free; and what I'll do Între timp (cum se zice în una sau două cărţi
again if netted by the poaching coppers. pe care le-am citit de atunci, nefolositoare totuşi
In the meantime (as they say in one or two pentru că toate se termină la un post căştigător, şi nu
books I've read since, useless though because all of m-au învăţat un lucru) am să-i dau povestea unui
them ended on a winning post and didn't teach me a prieten de al meu şi am să-i zic că dacă voi fi prins
thing) I'm going to give this story to a pal of mine din nou de poliţai, să încerce să o publice într-o
and tell him that if I do get captured again by the carte sau aşa ceva, pentru că mi-ar place să-i văd
coppers he can try and get it put into a book or faţa directorului când citeşte asta, dacă o va face,
something, because I'd like to see the governor's ceea ce presupun că nu; chiar dacă ar citi-o nu cred
face when he reads it, if he does, which I don't că ar întelege despre ce e vorba. Iar dacă nu voi fi
suppose he will; even if he did read it though I prins tipul căruia îi dau povestea nu mă va denunţa;
don't think he'd know what it was all about. And if I a trăit pe strada noastră de când mă ştiu, şi e
don't get caught the bloke I give this story to will prietenul meu. Atâta ştiu şi eu.
never give me away; he's lived in our terrace for as
long as I can remember, and he's my pal. That I do
know.

8
 Afterword

First of all this paper made me read about Translation Studies a subject I knew little about.
Having read extensive material on the internet and also Susan Bassnett’s Translation Studies and
Jeremy Munday’s Introducing Translation Studies Theories and Applications I have gained a
perspective on the field and on its evolution. Translation theory in a wider sense is usually known as
‘translation studies’, or as ‘translatology’, the comprehensive study of translation. As an
interdiscipline it must take into account its essential components and their applications, namely a
theory of writing well and of stylistic and language criticism, as well as the subjects of cultural studies,
applied linguistics, sociolinguistics, psycholinguistics, logic and ethical philosophy.
In brief there have been four successive stages in translation theory as Munday has pointed out
in his Routledge Companion to Translation Studies:
1. The linguistic stage, up to 1950. It covers mainly literary texts such as poetry, short stories, plays,
novels and autobiography. This stage is mainly concerned with the continually recurring discussion of
the merits of word-for-word, as opposed to sense-for-sense, translation. This is the ‘pre-linguistics’
stage.
2. The communicative stage, from around 1950. This stage covers non-literary and literary texts. It is
concerned with the categorization of text registers, the participation of a range of readership groups
(less-educated to expert), and the identification of types of procedures for translating various segments
of a text. It marks the application of linguistics to translation studies.
3. The functionalist stage, from around 1970. It covers mainly non-literary texts, that is, ‘the real
world’. It is focused on the intention of a text and its essential message, rather than the language of the
source text. It tends to be seen as a commercial operation, with the author as the vendor, the text
and/or the translation as the tender, and the readership as the consumer.
4. The ethical/aesthetic stage, from around 2000. This stage is concerned with authoritative and
official or documentary texts, and includes serious literary works. Since the turn of the millennium,
endeavours were made to establish that translation is a noble, truth-seeking profession and that a
translation must not mislead readers factually nor deceive them with false ideas; if such occur in the
original, they must be corrected or glossed extra textually So, where prejudiced language is used in the
source text, in respect of gender, race, colour, religion, class, age, mental health or physical
appearance, whether intentionally or unintentionally, it has generally to be pointed out in a translator’s
preface or the footnotes, unless the text is historical.
Also having this theoretical background I could analyse my translation into Romanian and see
how many of these theories worked in the translation process. I would like to mention the twelve

8
deforming tendencies of Berman: like rationalization, clarification, expansion, quantitative
impoverishment, the destruction of vernacular networks, the destruction of expressions and idioms that I
have found in my own translation.
As Walter Benjamin stated in ‘The task of the translator’ translation exists in conjunction with
the original, coming after it, emerging from its afterlife giving the original a “continued life”, I hope
that my translation in Romanian has ensured an ‘afterlife’ for the “Loneliness of the Long Distance
Runner”.

8
 BIBLIOGRAPHY

Primary Bibliography
1. Bassnett, Susan. Translation Studies. 1980. New York: Routledge, 2010. Print

2. Sillitoe, Alan. The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Runner. 1959 1 May 2010. Web.
http://pages.prodigy.net/tadrichards/LongDistance.htm

3. Munday, Jeremy. Introducing Translation Studies Theories and Applications. 2001. New York:
Routledge. 2010. Print

4. Munday, Jeremy. Routledge Companion to Translation Studies Routledge Companions. 2009.

London and New York. 2010. Web

Secondary bibliography
Cambridge Dictionaries Online © Cambridge University Press 2010 .10 May 2010. Web
http://dictionary.cambridge.org/

The free dictionary. Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins
Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003.1 May 2010. Web
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/dictionary.htm
Thesaurus. Dictionary.com, LLC. Copyright © 2010 11 May 2010. Web
http://thesaurus.com/

English to Romanian Dictionary. Copyright © 1997 - 2010 Industrial Soft. 11 May 2010. Web
http://www.dictionare.com/

Webography

1. “Al Jolson.” The free dictionary. Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged ©
HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003.10 May 2010. 10 May 2010. Web.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Al+Jolson

2. ‘Borstal’ The free dictionary. Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged ©
HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003.10 May 2010. Web
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/brostal

8
3. Ari Pesonen. Liukkonen, Petri “Alan Sillitoe 1928-2010”.2008. 1 May 2010. Web.
< http://www.kirjasto.sci.fi/sillitoe.htm >

4. Flamingo. Smith, Dr Jules “Alan Sillitoe”. British Council. 2003. 10 May 2010
Webhttp://www.contemporarywriters.com/authors/?p=auth01k23q323512620555#criticalperspective

5. Hanson, Mary Gillian “Understanding Allan Sillitoe” University of South Carolina Press. 20 May 2010
Web http://books.google.ro/books?id=WM5uNlLeqL4C&pg=PA188&lpg=PA188&dq=Byers,+John+A.+
%22The+Initiation+of+Alan+Sillitoe%E2%80%99s+%E2%80%98Long-
Distance+Runner&source=bl&ots=cI5-ZuYitI&sig=zydydTRIufbHqE3ZX0RQfDH5K-
c&hl=ro&ei=TLb6S_PWJ-
SWOOrn9ZwM&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=3&ved=0CCMQ6AEwAg#v=onepage&q=B
yers%2C%20John%20A.%20%22The%20Initiation%20of%20Alan%20Sillitoe%E2%80%99s
%20%E2%80%98Long-Distance%20Runner&f=false

6. Holden, Michael “Sillitoe, one of UK's 'angry young men', dead at 82”. Mail & Guardian
Online.London, United Kingdom - Apr 26 2010 11:49. 10 May 2010. Web.
http://www.mg.co.za/article/2010-04-26-sillitoe-one-of-uks-angry-young-men-dead-at-82

7. “Hoover Dam.” The free dictionary. Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged ©
HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003.10 May 2010. Web
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/hoover+dam

8. Mooney, T “Progress and Power in the "Angry Young Men"” 07 June 2006.15 May 2010. Web.
http://writeonill.org/progress.htm>

9. Moore, Andrew “The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Runner: study guide” 2002, 15 May 2010 Web <
http://www.teachit.co.uk/armoore/pdf/loneliness.pdf >

10. Na, “Wiki Alan Sillitoe”.Wapedia. 2010-05-21 20:38:22. 10 May 2010. Web.
http://wapedia.mobi/en/Alan_Sillitoe

11. Penner, Allen R. "Human Dignity and Social Anarchy: Sillitoe’s ‘The Loneliness of the Long-Distance
Runner." Contemporary Literature. 253-65 15 May 2010

8
Web.http://www2.warwick.ac.uk/fac/arts/english/undergraduate/current/modules/fulllist/special/en263/bibl
io/pennersillitoe.pdf

12. Rato, Mariano Antolín. La soledad del coredor de fondo. 1 Nov 1981. Barcelona: Bruguera. 20
May 2010. Web http://www.uib.es/uom/uom_mallorca/0910/ang/m1.pdf

13. ‘Remand Home’ The free dictionary. Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged ©
HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003.10 May 2010. Web
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/remand+home

14. Taylor, D. J, “The start of Alan Sillitoe”. TimesOnline. October 1, 2008.10 May 2010
Web.http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/the_tls/article4860454.ece

15. 'Teddy Boy’ The free dictionary. Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged ©
HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003.10 May 2010. Web
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/teddy+boy

16. Thunder, Rachel “Film Fresh Festival Study Guide. The Long Distance Runner Tony Richardson,
Britain, 1962, 94 Min” n.d. 15 May 2010.
Web.http://www.freshfilmfestival.net/studyguides/2000/FFF_2000_The_Loneliness_Of_The.pdf

8
 DECLARAŢIE

Subsemnata Iulia Lazăr candidată la examenul de licenţă la Facultatea de Limbi şi Literaturi

Străine, specializarea Spaniolă - Engleză declar pe propria răspundere că lucrarea de faţă este
rezultatul muncii mele pe baza informaţiilor obţinute din surse care au fost citate şi indicate, conform
normelor etice, în note si bibliografie. Declar ca nu am folosit în mod tacit sau ilegal munca altora şi
că nici o parte din teza nu încalcă drepturile de proprietate intelectuala ale altcuiva, persoană fizică sau
juridică. Declar că lucrarea nu a mai fost prezentată sub această formă vreunei instituţii de învăţământ
superior în vederea obţinerii unui grad sau titlu ştiinţific ori didactic.

Semnătura,
________________________________________