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checking in confessions of an age-grouper

Let There
Be Law
by Holly Bennett

Lately there’s been loads of controversy


surrounding rules, policies and procedures
put forth by the various triathlon organiza-
tions. We sure do have a lot of rules.
There are rules for pros and rules for
age-groupers, regulations for wetsuits,
speedsuits, drug testing and draft-bust-
ing. There are new world championship one’s dorm room during designated visit-
qualification procedures, ever-shifting ing hours. The rule stated that we keep
prize money policies, age-up ordinances, the door open the width of a trash can, at So I’m all for the rule books and what-
registration routines and, occasionally, least one light on and three (out of a pre- ever regulations the leaders of our sport
work-around options for folks who don’t sumed four) feet on the floor. Well, it was want to throw down. In fact, I think dol-
want to follow any rules. high school, when a creative disregard ing out a few additional permissions
We’ve seen some regulations repealed for rules is de rigueur. We bought the nar- might help control certain gray-area of-
nearly as fast as they’ve been written. rowest trash bins we could find, nearly fenses against sportsmanship and deco-
Others are quickly cemented. As much set the dorm afire with tapestries draped rum, enhancing the triathlon experience
as we might agree with some edicts and over burning bulbs and fully exercised across the board.
stomp our feet against others, one thing’s our adolescent flexibility. Let’s try selective spitting and snot
for certain—over time, the dust will set- But once the too-cool-for-rules phase rocket permissions, allowing racers to
tle, the edge of controversy will dull and passes and we mature into adulthood, spew away, but only after confirming a
the new standards will seem like old hat. most of us realize that rules generally ex- clear path. Likewise, tactful cup-tossing
There are rules in every aspect of life, ist for good reason. Whether for the sake permission would oblige runners to aim
and some simply seem less sensible than of safety or fairness or just plain propri- for the rubbish, rather than their rivals.
others. Can anyone rightfully explain ety, a little law and order is appropriate, if A good mood clause would compel com-
why airlines charge upwards of $150 to not essential. We all agree that cheating plainers to stay home. Permission to seed
transport a bike, while golf clubs fly free? during a race is a no-no. That’s as crystal- oneself would continue to be available,
Or why we shouldn’t wear white after La- clearly wrong as stealing or smacking but only after an honest self-assessment
bor Day? During my ninth to 12th grade someone upside the head. And while you of one’s swimming skill. And a personal
boarding school stint, my classmates might believe it silly that race entries are favorite petition—white spandex per-
and I were subject to rules aplenty. One unequivocally non-transferable, the rule mission—would be granted only to those
hunter king

opportunity-laden favorite, straight is in place to proactively protect individu- athletes who are ridiculously fit and re-
from the student handbook, pertained to als by keeping proper track, as opposed ally, really good-looking. And they’d be
hosting a member of the opposite sex in to an unfair annoyance. welcome to wear it year-round.

52 triathlete.com | March 2011

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