Unit 5a.

Data commentary
1.#Brainstorming:#Strength of claim
Dangers'and'opportunities:
• One$danger$is$to$simply$repeat$in$words$what$the$data$have$
expressed$in$non5verbal$form$5 in$other$words,$to$offer$
description$rather$than$actual$commentary$or$interpretation.$
• As$opposite$danger$is$to$read$too$much$into$the$data$and$
draw$conclusions$that$are$not$well$supported.$
Decide&whether&the&verb&phrase&choice&results&in&a&strong,&
weak,&or&neutral&statement:
Many%studies%have%concluded%that%excessive%credit%growth%
_________________%the%global%financial%crisis.%
_____"a."contributed"to"
_____"b."caused"
_____"c."may"have"contributed"to"
_____"d."was"probably"a"major"cause"of"
_____"e."was"one"of"the"causes"of"
_____"f."might"have"been"a"factor"in"
Your"choice"of"verb"can"convey"your"stance"or"perspective"and"the"extent"to"
which"you"believe"the"explanation"to"be"correct."
2.#Some#common#purposes#of#data#commentaries:
● highlight'the'result'of'research
● use'the'data'to'support'a'point'or'make'an'argument
● assess'theory,'common'beliefs,'or'general'practices'in'light'of'
the'given'data'
● compare'and'evaluate'different'data'sets
● assess'the'reliability'of'the'data'in'terms'of'the'methodology'
that'produced'it'
● discuss'the'implications'of'the'data
● make'recommendations
3.#Functions
Commentaries+have+2+main+functions:
1.+direct+the+reader’s+attention+to+the+figures
2.+enable+the+reader+to+focus+on+the+most+important+aspects+of+
the+results.
Data+should+not+be+presented+without+a+commentary+to+guide+
the+reader+through+them.
Keep+the+commentary+near+to+the+graphical+presentation+of+the+
data.
4.#Structure of data commentary
Commentaries+can+consist+of+up+to+3+elements:+
• A+location/+summary+statement+
• Statements+highlighting+the+most+important+findings+
• Statements+that+comment+on+the+results+(in+combined+
results+&+discussions+sections)
Location/summary.statement:.

This%directs%the%reader’s%attention%to%
a)%the%location%of%the%figures%containing%the%results%
b)%expresses%the%main%idea%of%the%graphical%information%
e.g.%Table&3&illustrates&the%arithmetic%mean...%
e.g.%The&results&in&table&4&show&that%most%of%the%compounds
Alternatively+the+sentence+summarises the+main+idea+of+the+
graphical+information+with+the+location+statement+in+
parentheses.+
e.g.$Caffeine'was'somewhat'more'prevalent'than'theophylline'in'
preventing'leaf4eating'(Figure 1)'
Data$commentary:$location$&$summary$
statements
Typical(location(statements,(using(the(PASSIVE(FORM:(
!The(most(common(forms(of(transmission(are(shown(in(table(5(
!The(most(common(forms(of(transmission(are(given(in(table(5(
!The(most(common(forms(of(transmission(are(provided(in(table(5(
!As(can(be(seen(from(table(5,(the(size(of(particles(is(reduced(
when(...(
!As(shown(in(table(5,(the(size(of(particles(is(reduced(when(...(
Typical(location(statements,(using(the(ACTIVE(FORM(
•(Table(5(shows(...
•(Table(5(provides(...
•(Figure(4.2(gives(...(
•(Figure(4.2(suggests(...
•(As(revealed(by(the(graph,(...
SOME%VERBS%FOR%REFERRING%TO%DATA%
show( summarise reveal( display(
provide( display( demonstrate( illustrate(
suggest( indicate( give( present(
Highlingting statements
Statements(that(present(the(most(important(findings(e.g.(
As#can#be#seen#in#the#majority#of#cases,#the#source#of#
transmission#can#be#detected#by#...#
Statements(that(comment(on(the(results(which(can(be(
categorised into:(
– generalisations from(the(results(
– explanations(for(the(possible(results(
– comparing(the(results(with(those(of(other(researchers(
Note(the(specific(to(general(pattern(
A"basic"data"commentary in a results and discussion section
FOREIGN(LANGUAGE(IN(THE(ELEMENTARY(SCHOOL(A(COMPARISON(OF(
ACHIEVEMENT(
Figure 7.2 displays the mean percentile scores on the four subtests for non-
immersion and immersion French students. Students in the French immersion
programs performed significantly better than their non-immersion peers on all
four Modern language Association tests by more than two to one in terms of
scores attained on each of the subtests. For example in the listening subtest,
immersion students scored at the 80th percentile, while non-immersion students
scored at the 14th percentile. Clearly, the findings indicate that the amount of
exposure to a foreign language has a positive effect on student performance. It
appears that the intensity of immersion program (an average of 75% of total
instruction per week in French compared to approximately 10% for non-
immersion) and the use of the foreign language to study basic subjects results in
substantial differences in performances in all four skill area of the MLA test.
[Table not included. Source Weissburg and Buker (1990:)]
A"basic"data"commentary in a results and discussion section
FOREIGN LANGUAGE IN THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL A COMPARISON
OF ACHIEVEMENT
Figure 7.2 displays the mean percentile scores on the four subtests for non-
immersion and immersion French students. Students in the French immersion
programs performed significantly better than their non-immersion peers on all
four Modern language Association tests by more than two to one in terms of
scores attained on each of the subtests. For example in the listening subtest,
immersion students scored at the 80th percentile, while non-immersion students
scored at the 14th percentile. Clearly, the findings indicate that the amount of
exposure to a foreign language has a positive effect on student performance. It
appears that the intensity of immersion program (an average of 75% of total
instruction per week in French compared to approximately 10% for non-
immersion) and the use of the foreign language to study basic subjects results in
substantial differences in performances in all four skill area of the MLA test.
[Table not included. Source Weissburg and Buker (1990:)]
5.#Qualifications#and#Strength#Of#Claim
Highlighting(statements(need(to(be(well(judged(to(reflect(the(
quality(of(your(data(&(the(strength(of(the(claim(you(can(make(
about(the(data.(You(may(need(to(
•(be(cautious=&(sometimes(critical(about(the(data.(
•(to(choose(appropriately(cautious(language((hedging)(to(
express(this(caution.(Hedging(=(language(that(indicates(
certainty(or(commitment(in(varying(degrees.
Likelihood
Notice'how'the'claim'progressively'weakens'in'the'3'
sentences.'
•'A'reduced'speed'limit'will$result$in'fewer'highway'injuries.'
•'A'reduced'speed'limit'may$result$in'fewer'highway'injuries.'
•'A'reduced'speed'limit'might/could$result'in'fewer'highway'
injuries.
Choosing(Weaker(Or(Stronger(Verbs
Task:&You&can&also&reduce&the&strength&of&claims&by&choosing&a&weaker&verb&
e.g.&
The$widespread$use$of$cfcs$has$caused$global$warming.$(stronger)*
The$widespread$use$of$cfcs$has$contributed$to$global$warming.$(weaker)*
Task:&Underline&the&verb&making&the&weaker(claim&
e.g.&The&results&indicate/establish&that&there&is&a&link&
between&smoking&and&lung&cancer.&
1. Table&9&suggests/shows&that&Chinese&scientists&may&need&help&with&
writing&English.&
2. The&latest&series&of&experiments&question/undermine&much&previous&
research.&
[From&Swales&&&Feak&1994]&
3. The&results&given&in&figure&4&validate/support&the&second&
hypothesis.&
4. The&quantities&displayed&in&the&table&have&been&assumed/shown&
to&be&about&98%&accurate.&
5. The&test&results&create/suggest&a&basis&for&modification&of&the&
research&design.&
6. Changes&in&ambient&temperature&may&have&influenced/&distorted&
the&test&results.&
7. In&their&earlier&work,&they&failed/neglected&to&take&ambient&
temperature&into&account.&
8. As&can&be&seen&from&table&3,&the&new&pollution&controls&have&
encouraged/stimulated&research&into&particulate&filters.&
9. Figure&12&depicts/clarifies&the&genetic&relationship...&
Conlcuding a commentary
Language'For'Dealing'With'Imperfect'Data'
Hedging'can'also'be'used'where'you'are'having'problems'with'your'
data'&'need'to'reduce'certainty'when'discussing'possible'causes:'
• The'difference'between'expected'and'obtained'results'may$be#
due#to#the'incorrect'calibration'of'instruments
[‘may’=#possibility#i.e.#less#certainty#than#‘is’]#
• The'discrepancy'can$be$attributed#to#the'small'sample'size
[‘can’#reduces#certainty#of#‘is’#i.e.#there#may#be#other#explanations;#
is=#only#explanation.]
• The$lack$of$statistical$significance$is#probably(a#consequence#of#
weaknesses$in$experimental$design$[statement#strength#
reduced#by#probably#(modal#adverb)]#
•The$anomaly$in$the$observation$can(probably(be#accounted#for#
by#a$defect$in$the$camera.$
[Modal#adverb#probably#&#‘substitution#of#is‘> by#can#gives#a#
lower#degree#of#probability]#
•$The$difficulty$in$dating$this$archaeological$site$would(seem(to(
stem#from#the$limited$amount$of$organic$material$available.
[would#(conditional)#reduces#strength#&#choice#of#verb#‘seems’#
expresses#further#caution]#
[Source#:Swales#&#Feak#1994]
 Unit 5b. Visual information
1. Types of visuals
 Unit 8. Visual information
Types of visuals
Types of visuals
Complete the table below to show the use (a–f) and the
example (A–F) of each type.
2 The language of change

• Average temperatures rose steadily until 2012 and then

dropped slightly.
[noun phrase] + [verb] + [adverb]
• There was a sharp decrease in sales during the summer
and then a gradual rise.
[there be] + [(adjective) noun]
Describing trends
Answer key to Exercise A.
Exercise B: Find the noun for these verbs above.
3. Describing visuals
Although visuals do largely speak for themselves, it is common to help
the reader interpret them by briefly commenting on their main features.
The graph shows the changes in the price of oil since 1990.
map illustrates the main sources of copper in Africa.
diagram displays the organisation of both companies

(a) Read the following

descriptions of the
chart. Which is better?
i. The chart shows the quantity of tea consumed by the world’s leading tea
consuming nations. India and China together consume more than half the
world’s tea production, with India alone consuming about one third. Other
significant tea consumers are Turkey, Russia and Britain. ‘Others’ includes
the United States, Iran and Egypt.
ii. The chart shows that 31% of the world’s tea is consumed by India, 23% by
China, and 8% by Turkey. The fourth largest consumers are Russia, Japan
and Britain, with 7% each, while Pakistan consumes 5%. Other countries
account for the remaining 12%.
(b) Complete the description of the chart below.
4. Labelling
• When referring to visual information in the text, the word ‘figure’ is used for
almost everything (such as maps, charts and graphs) except tables.
• Figures and tables should be numbered and given a title. Titles of tables are
written above, while titles of figures are written below the data.
• As with other data, sources must be given for all visual information.
• If you are writing a lengthy work such as a dissertation, you will need to
provide lists of tables and figures, showing numbers, titles and page numbers,
after the contents page.
5. Practice A
Complete the following description of the table below (one word per
gap).
5. Practice A
Complete the following description of the table below (one word per
gap).
6. Practice B
Write a paragraph commenting on the data in the table below.
Model paragraph:

Table 2 shows the world’s ten largest companies by revenue in 2013. It is

noticeable that seven of the ten, including the second and third largest are oil
companies. The largest company, Wal-Mart, is a multinational retailer, and the
eighth, Vitol, is a commodity trader.