NEW FASHION BB OO N

N UU SS
FOR THE STARS MAAGGEE!!
M

J
ALL
NEW!
MORE HO
IINNSSIIDD
GREAT ATDGOSSIP
REAL LIFVICE
E

HOST
YOUR OWN
•SMARTER•SEXIER•FREE• GAME SHOW

SITARA
HEWITT JOHN
MAJHOR
LITTLE MOSQUE
DJ’S LAST INTERVIEW
BEFORE DEATH

STAR TURNING
ON TV!!!
CBC RAT
WARNS: TIFFANY
STROMBO’S
JOB IN
TOWERS
TELL-ALL
JEOPARDY LOVE TIPS
NDP MEMBERS NAILED
WITH THEIR PANTS DOWN
AT ALL-NIGHT ROMAN-STYLE SEX PARTY
I V E P H O T O
E X C L U S
P
olitical circles in New Bruns-
wick are abuzz over steamy al-
legations that place a former
president of the province’s NDP
party at a raging New Year’s Eve
gala that critics charge crossed party lines. And
the fall out is causing controversy from coast to
coast.
At the centre of the political firestorm is
Charles Fournier a member of the executive and
the former party president. He is also the NDP
rep for the Fredericton-Silverwood riding.
The controversy surrounds a party Fournier
is alleged to have attended in Moncton, New
Brunswick, on December 31, 2006. Reports
this winter
claim that partygoers were engaged in wild
drug use and obscene sexual acts in front of
stunned onlookers.
“I felt like it was 1985,” says one person who
attended the party. “The whole night was full
of hard drugs, excessive drinking, and Roman-
style sex.”
Several revellers have told the Special that
things quickly got out of control when left wing
socialites began living out their wildest fanta-
sies. One participant later commented that the
New Year’s debauchery was reminiscent of the
greedy 1980’s.
“This was a ‘whose who’ of the province’s ac-
tivist community, but I’ve never seen any protest
ORDER IN THE HOUSE: NDP Member Charles Fournier, wearing his signa-
ture Mickey Mouse t-shirt, is only the latest Canadian politician forced to
explain his hard partying ways. According to sources close to the Special,
the NDP member for New Brunswick, attended a wild New Year’s Eve party
where excessive drug use and obscene sexual acts took centre stage. New
Brunswick voters were disgusted; however, experts agree that there’s no
shame in a wild night of sex, drugs and rock and roll. ABOVE: Jack Layton,
leader of the NDP party, had no comment on the antics of his party reps.
ABOVE RIGHT: Andre Boisclair, of the PQ, loves to mix it up and is famous for
his snowy nights out in la belle province.
Special
Toronto And this incident is just the latest
chapter in a national debate that
pits politicians privacy against the
public’s right to know.
-R.L. Deakos Most recently, in September of
2005, Andre Boisclair, the leader of the PQ in
Quebec, openly admitted to using drugs between
1996 and 2003, while serving as a member of the
like this before. Guys were having their way with Quebec legislature. It is no secret in francophone
girls even though their girlfriends were in the circles that Boisclair has a reputation for late
next room.” nights and tequila sunrises.
Fournier has yet to be fully implicated in the Unlike Boisclair, however, Fournier’s antics
unruly behaviour; however, sources close to the have caused a stir outside his home province.
NDP have told the Special that party brass are Political pundits from Halifax, Montreal, and
uncomfortable with the message that Fournier’s even Toronto have debated whether Fournier’s
extracurricular activities send to constituents. political career will be able to withstand this lat-
Residents of Moncton are also beginning to est controversy.
ask questions. “Fournier should be concerned,” says politi-
“I think the NDP has some explaining to do,” cal strategist Reg Turnbull from his office at
says one Moncton resident. “I want to know York University. “He already has a reputation
where the party stands on family values.” for stirring the pot, he’s criticized publicly his
Fournier is not the first Canadian politician to own leader. I wouldn’t be surprised if the party
get in hot water over his merrymaking. shuffles its deck!”
INDOOR AIR POLLUTION
POISONING HOUSEWIVES
T
oronto scientists warn that indoor air pol-

z i ng lution in Canadian homes is leading to a

crisis in respiratory problems that could
a
A m ie n c e
kill faster than SARS.
And a recent study by Health Canada shows that
indoor air pollution is worse for your health than

Sc
the air outdoors,
“The quality of indoor air is a special concern for
Canadians who spend 90% of the winter months
indoors,” says housewife Samantha Minqui.
“The problem comes from dust, mold, household
cleaning products, and poor air ventilation. This
can lead to a variety of health problems includ-
ing asthma, lung cancer and even migraines.”
During the 1970s buildings were more tightly
insulated, windows were sealed to not open, and
heating systems were designed to recycle air in
an effort to save on re-heating fresh air.
Companies even used artificial insulations such
as asbestos and other materials, which would be-
come brittle and flake into the air without proper
maintenance.
Indoor air pollution experts like Minqui say
that if nothing continues to be done to address
the problem the consequences could be dire.
And for professor of Public Health, Kirk Smith,
from the University of California, he worries
that governments are doing little to regulate the
problem.
“Will there be a massive emergency meeting
in Geneva of international agencies to take ac-
tion?” asks Smith. “The answer is no – indeed
nothing will be done.”
Governments are moving slowly against large

Special
corporations that build and maintain offices
that suffer from indoor air pollution. In fact, the
dusty, but will save on
your heating costs. Toronto
problem is often dismissed as Sick Building Syn- • Don’t overheat your
drome - an excuse of lazy office workers looking home. High tempera-
for time off work. ture and humidity -M.A. Tamburro
“Those excuses alone are why clean indoor air levels can increase
has to begin at home,” concludes Minqui. the concentration of some pollutants.
• Purchase an indoor air purifier with a HEPA
WHAT YOU CAN DO TO filter or, failing that, use a desk fan to circulate
PROTECT YOUR HOME fresh air.
• Open windows every other day for 2-3 hours to
• Check your ventilation system and make sure it let fresh air in.
has proper outdoor intake, ensuring fresh air is • Don’t smoke in your home.
getting in. Outside ventilation is the key to en- • Take off your shoes when you enter your home.
suring indoor air emissions are diluted by fresh Soil from outside your home can contain sub-
air and old air is taken out. stances you don’t want inside.
• Have heating vents cleaned every five years to • Most importantly, dust and vacuum regularly
get rid of any dust and particle buildup in the and use natural cleaners such as vinegar and
duct work. Clean your furnaces filter every other water, borax powder and non-synthetic cleaning
month, this will not only make your home less detergents and soaps.

SMOKERS HAVE FOUL MOUTHS

NEW STUDY PROVES SWEARING ISN’T A CLASS ISSUE
A
new study released by the
Jones’ Institute shows that
smokers swear more often
than non-smokers.
The study, conducted this past Jan-
uary by doctor Jake Phillips, dem-
onstrated that people who smoke
five or more cigarettes a day are
more likely to use profanity in their
everyday speech.
“There are a number of explana-
tions for this,” cites Phillips. “There
is the act of lighting your cigarette
on a cold and windy day, which can
be frustrating, or burning your new
clothes by dropping ash on your-
self.”
But that’s not all, Phillips says that
this study proves that smokers are
more frustrated and agitated by ev-
eryday life than non-smokers.
And although swearing has tradi-
tionally been considered a low class
habit, Phillips’ study has proved
otherwise.
“Blue collar workers don’t have
dirtier mouths than white collar
workers,” says Phillips. “That’s
something that people have as-
sumed since the beginning of the
industrial revolution.”
The doc of all trades goes on to
confide to the Special that smokers
are more likely to consist of people
whom have been traumatized by
events from their childhood and
their swearing represents an inabil-
ity to properly cope with this past.
“Smokers smoke cigarettes be-
cause they have given up,” explains
Phillips. “Rather than deal with
their issues. When smokers swear
it is because they are angry with
themselves. My conclusion is that
they need to wash their mouths out
with soap. Both for the smoke and
the swearing.”
-A.D. Washboro
SITARA HEWITT’S TURNING
ON CANADIAN TV
BUT WILL SHE BE READY
TO JOIN GEORGE AS HIS
SEXY NEW CO-HOST?
Y
ou can bet your ass that Sitara Her major break came earlier last year with the
Hewitt is the new ‘It Girl’ at the Comedy Network game show You Bet Your Ass,
CBC. After all, her hit show where contestants make wagers on their ability
Little Mosque on the Prairie is to answer pop-culture trivia questions.
proving itself a ratings bonanza Playing the sidekick to host Stewart Francis,
both at home and abroad. And the overnight Hewitt nurtured the role into an anti-Vanna
spotlight that Hewitt is casting White character complete with

Special
has lead to media speculation
that she may be made the new Toronto witty one-liners and a sexi-
ness that has kept male
co-host of The Hour. viewers tuning in regu-
Little Mosque on the Prairie larly.
was an overnight success - liter- -R. Klinger “She stands up for
ally - with over 2 million viewers. herself, takes control
“The show is amazingly written,” Hewitt tells of the show and keeps Francis in
the Special after the premiere. “It’s designed to line,” adds our Special
make people laugh.” tattler. “It’s that
The CBC has been searching for a sure thing proof that is
for more than a decade and some feel that the showing that
stunning beauty and brains of Hewitt are the she could be
missing ingredient for them to compete with the the side-
private stations airing American shows. kick that
And although CBC poster boy George Stroum- S t r o mb o
boulopoulos started out strong, he has steadily needs to
been losing viewers over the past several carry the
months: “A little bit of brown sugar may be just show.”
what’s needed for viewers to gulp it down,” says George
the Special’s media snitch on the claim that the was lured
CBC is hoping a beautiful, brown babe can sal- over to the
vage the teen angst ridden program. CBC with
Hewitt plays a devout Muslim and outspoken the hopes
doctor on Little Mosque, which sets a group that he’d
of Muslims in a picturesque Canadian prairie get those
town. Think Corner Gas meets Three’s Com- M u c h
pany meets Gandhi. The show is complete with viewers,
small town hi-jinks as the main characters are but since BROWN IS THE NEW BLACK: Muslim culture is taking the world by
placed among local hicks that believe the Mus- his debut storm. With hit shows like Little Mosque on the Prairie and AlJezeera
lims are a terrorist cell. on The television raking in record numbers, CTV can bet that their new sit-
Hewitt explains to the Special that the show is Hour in com Everybody Loves Bin Laden will be blowing up the ratings.
first and foremost a situation comedy, but that January
there are definitely politics behind it. 2005. Since then he has failed to reach a re-

J
“Muslims have been stereotyped in the media spectable audience and has even been forced to
for awhile,” she adds. “The writing does poke a take a part time weekend job at CFRB. The Toronto Special is a publication of Midnight Media. For information on
advertising and subscriptions we can be reached by phone at
little fun at that and begins to dispel the myths “Many talk shows have been successful with 647-668-9443 or by e-mail at editor@thespecial.ca
behind Muslim culture.” a sexy sidekick,” explains our insider. “There’s 'FCSVBSZ

]
7PM

]
/P

Unlike The Hour, which has been struggling Regis and Kelly, The View with Rosie O’Donnell FEATURES WRITER STAFF WRITERS
with Strombo at the wheel, Little Mosque has and even Breakfast Television with Dina Pug- P.J. Tomlinson R.L. Deakos
already generated international celebrity status, liese.” R. Klinger
“We’ve had interest from The New York Times With The Hour competing against heavy hit- PUBLISHER PROOFREADER
Midnight Media K. Hall CONTRIBUTORS
and BBC Asia among many other international ters like The Colbert Report many critics warn M. Abbott
news agencies,” she brags. that Strombo needs someone there to keep him EDITOR-IN-CHIEF AD SALES A. Chalmers
For Hewitt, however, the bigger draw is her in- fresh. R.D. Shaw A. Koenig V. Jenkins
R. Pilgrim
stant climb to Canadian fame. Growing up in “She’s sexy, smart and talented,” says our insid- MANAGING EDITOR COLUMNISTS R. Strasfeld
the small town of Elora, Ontario, she has hosted er. “Sitara is definitely someone that could bring M.A. Tamburro C.J. Byner A.D. Washboro
several TV programs for TSN and Global. Si- people back to the CBC.” C. Gordon K. A. Zemnickis
multaneously she has appeared in many the- Dr. Mysterion
P. Roxxhoff PHOTOGRAPHY
atre projects including Second City’s Tony ‘n I. Stern Pharmakon
Tina’s Wedding.
 O F
cam

F T
DA
H
R
E
gord
on’s

JOHN MAJHOR’S FINAL HOURS

R A
Name: John Majhor
Profession: Toronto radio
and TV personality
Description: Rich throaty
baritone, tailored smile,
nomadic tendencies
Lived: 1954 - 2007
LEGACY: In the history of Toronto com-
mercial radio there have been few person-
alities more ubiquitous than the late John
Majhor. From the mid-1970’s to early 1990’s,
Majhor laid his fingerprints all over this
crazy, mixed-up town. 1050 CHUM, Talk
640 and CFRB 1010 were amongst the fre-
quencies that featured Majhor’s comfort-
ing croon at one time or another. Needless
to say, within a few short months of his To-
ronto debut in mid-1975, John had become
a “major” personality and a new voice for
the entire GTA.
While Majhor appeared on several radio
DJ’S FOND MEMORIES OF HOGTOWN
stations during his time in Toronto, he is
most associated with 1050 CHUM, where he
spent close to 10 years, rocking the morn-
ings, slaying the afternoons and becoming
a bit of a stud muffin to a generation of zit-
prone Toronto teens. Proving that he did
NOT have the proverbial “face made for
radio,” Majhor soon dabbled in TV land
and found success most immediately.
In fact, he holds the distinction of host-
ing Toronto’s very first TV program dedi-
cated to music videos. The fledgling Video
Singles program debuted on CFMT in 1983
(a full year before Much Music went live),
and within weeks the show had become an
after-school staple for those acne victims
alluded to earlier. Majhor would go on to
host 400 episodes of the like-minded To-
ronto Rocks on CityTV as well as Lunch
Television on the same channel, which al-
lowed Majhor to add a side dish of newsy
chit-chat to his already meaty resume.
Switching gears and heading over to
Global’s Prime Network, Majhor soon co-
hosted a travel program called Bon Voyage
alongside the station’s resident weather
hottie Susan Hay. A few smaller gigs fol-
lowed and Majhor would soon bid adieu
to his adopted homeland in 1998, heading
southwesterly for a lucrative gig in Santa
Fe, New Mexico.
UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! Despite
the strong heart of a broadcaster, Majhor
was forced to the sidelines by adenocarci-
noma, a rare cancer that he sadly lost his
fight with this past January. The aggressive
treatment the disease required took a toll
on Majhor both physically and mentally,
but the fond memories of his roughshod
career kept his spirits up during his last
days. “Trust me, I burned a lot of bridges
in my time in Toronto,” Majhor reminisced
to the Special shortly before passing away. “I
napalmed those bridges and singed a lot
of eyebrows along the way. Luckily, there
were enough people out there that liked
what I did which allowed me to continue
working for as long as I did.”
Majhor’s initial contact with CHUM in
the mid-1970s was the start of his Canadian
adventure, “Roger Ashby was the assistant
program director at the time. He phoned
me up and asked for a raw audition tape—
he wanted to see what I could really do. So
I sent him that and eventually he asked if
I’d be interested in flying up to meet him.
Now remember, at the time I’m in my early
twenties, so of course I went; it was an ad-
venture. I was hired about a week later.”
Majhor said that he was always very cog-
nizant of the good fortune that followed
his career at every turn. “Even when To-
ronto dried up for me and I moved to Los
Angeles, somehow within a year and bit, I
found myself in the position of being the
lead anchor on the launch of the E! cable
channel. How lucky is that? I’m not saying
I didn’t work hard for it but, at the same
time, there was just so much luck involved
in a lot of the things I’ve achieved and for
that, I’ve always been really grateful and
not taken anything for granted.”
And only a few weeks before his death
he left us with this final thought: “I never
knew how valuable that whole concept of
having friends and family could be until
now,” he told the Special. “My ex-wife Sarit,
dropped everything and moved from a
budding acting and art career in New York
City to come and take care of me. Between
her and the support I’m receiving from my
family, I couldn’t handle any of this with-
out that support system in place.”
On January 23, 2007, radio legend John
Majhor passed away surrounded by family
and friends.
To make a donation to the John Majhor Can-
cer Fund, please visit www.majhor.com. If
you have a suggestion for OTR, please e-mail
me at info@camgordon.com

HOT HEADBANDS KEEP CANADA COOL

; 9?7
FJOB; ;IB The latest Special style worn by our lovely model
Stephanie Soriano is the trendy new headband
from This Is J. The 100% Canadian creation comes

JOB
AHEAD OF THE GAME: Toronto-based fashion company
This Is J has got all the stars wearing their gear. And
although Hollywood hottie Natalie Portman is known
to wear the garment regularly, the affordable fashion
accessories are just as popular with Toronto gals.
from designer Jaimie Harris. Since the initial
launch of her fun and funky headbands in 2003,
stars like Natalie Portman and Avril Lavigne have
been spotted sporting the colourful fashion
accessory.
But that doesn’t make This Is J’s headbands just
for the rich and famous. The comfy and machine
washable hair-ties only cost $16-$20.
Harris’ line of headbands is credited in the
fashion world for the resurgence of headgear
first made popular by Bruce Springsteen in the
‘80s.
Toronto is the new epicenter of the headband
craze sweeping the world with This Is J carried in
hundreds of Canadian and American boutiques.
And her design studio is right here in the Tdot,
“My aim is to merge fashion and function,” says
25-year-old Harris.
The Toronto native came up with the idea for
her simple yet unique product as a student at
Dalhousie University. Looking to keep her hair out
of her face, she borrowed her roommate’s sewing
machine and created the first ever prototype.
But the humble Harris won’t take all the credit,
“I have a great team of local artists, designers
and creative staff coming up with new lines and
products everyday.”
Watch for Harris’ This Is J’s new line of PJ’s,
blankets and scarves later this year. As this
Canadian trendsetter continues to turn the fashion
world on its’ head.
-J.G. Shama
T
CLAMMY J BYNER’S
he February TV schedule is an odd ball
time in the TV season. This is the period
in which major networks drop shows
that aren’t working and throw on off-beat
series that only have a few months to prove
themselves in prime time. My insiders and I
have been busier than the team of video voodoo

Midseason
shamans keeping Lloyd Robertson’s mummi-
fied remains animated. And now we unwrap
for Special readers the ugly step-sister winter
programing that wasn’t good enough for Sep-
tember and barely better entertainment than
wandering out into a snowdrift drunk.
- CJB

THE NEW ELECTRIC CIRCUS: is

bringing the beat back with new dancers
and new music in February. Nice try Much
Music, but neither Clammy nor Canada
will be watching unless you bring back the
original bustamovers in silly hats and dog
tv Preview
collars. The golden era of EC was 1988-1993
and I doubt that bubbly blonde bobble
head LEAH MILLER can take the place of
the dark and delicious MONICA DEOL.

BBC KIDS continues its brilliant strat-

egy of airing shows for non-kids in Febru-
ary. Who you ask? Fan’s of Who - that’s who.
TV advertisers most coveted viewers are
40-something-do-nothings-living-in-their-
moms flat. Aye, the lads at BBCK plan to
continue airing such kid friendly program-

This midseason Desperate

Housewives over extends
itself to twice a week air-
ings. The soap plotlines are
stretched thinner than Carla
Collins prepping for an LA
casting interview. An up-
coming episode finds things
really desperate when all
the Botox on Westeria Lane The Michael Richards’ Cosby Show: Presented in blackface the 6
ming as; Doctor Who, Little Britain, and goes mysteriously missing! part reality series will feature episodes based on classic dramatic
Are You Being Served? Now, I’m just as big Where could it be? Here’s a editions of the award winning comedy series originally featuring
a fan of TOM BAKER running around quarry clue, check in Teri Hatcher’s Bill Cosby. The first episode will feature Richards learning about
pits in an 8 foot long scarf as the next bloke, forehead. African art from Phylicia Rashad, Jessie Jackson and Jamie Foxx.
but how can the CRTC allow such Tomfool-
ery? Especially when my application for
the Gardening Channel (featuring 24 hour their way unguided in the porn industry. This BE A TORONTO SUN COLUMNIST: Af- tition to see who’s the greatest cat burglar
Greco-Roman Wrestling and re-runs of The capitol of porn flicks is a great place to intro- ter the mediocre ratings of Rolling Stone in all of Minnesota. The winner will get
Lucille Ball Show) was turned down. duce young workers to the idea that in the Intern and the success of the Much Music a crack at a ‘sure thing’ diamond heist in
corporate world you have to sell yourself to VJ search, my spies tell me that Sun TV is New York City. This all expense paid thiev-
YOUTUBE ON TV: hosted by MARIO get ahead - or give it. launching their own reality series in or- ing adventure is brought to contestants
LOPEZ, comes from the same hacks that der to find the next Toronto Sun columnist. courtesy of DONALD TRUMP. Who says
brought you America’s Funniest Home With such big shoes to fill like Linda Leat- there’s no honour among thieves?
Videos. While YouTube on the Internet THE NEW LOVE BOAT: This ship of fools herdale, our sources tell us that one epi-
brought you kids lighting themselves on never leaves port due to an over zealous anti- sode features the aspiring journalists in a ROCKY 2100: A robot duplicate of
fire, YouTube on TV also features kids terrorism inspector who bares a striking story meeting with PETER WORTHINGTON Rocky Balboa is sent to the mining moon of
lighting themselves on fire – but with com- resemblance to Isaac of the original series. where he teaches the delicate art of finding Mondas 7 where his only chance of social
mercials. Like all series with the “New” moniker, my a unique idea - with the simple tools of a advancement is in the boxing ring. Will he
insiders are telling me this ship has only got pair of scissors and The New York Times. pick up the gloves worn by champs before
THE APPRENTICE LA UNCUT: The enough wind in its’ sails for one cameo laden him or take the easy route of hammy acting
Donald drops off a new batch of contes- voyage. ALAN THICKE has been cast as Cap- HGTV - STEAL THIS HOUSE: Ama- in Stop! or my Robot Mom Will Shoot?
tants at the bus depot and they must make tain Stubing. teur burglars face off in a petty theft compe- - with files from A. Chalmers & Tabwire News Services

Ciros Amazing patio and more than 100 brands of

house of imported bier

select bier from around the world

Lansdowne Ave.

416-533-4914
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 Superfans
All the CanCon You Can Stand

Special

I A L
P E C U T
S LL O
PU

•LET’S MAKE A DEAL OR NO DEAL

•HOST YOUR OWN GAME SHOW
•REACH FOR THE TOP
 CANADIAN GAME SHOW LEGACY
A
ccording to game show historian Mont- 2DUM2NO,” jokes Troiscarte.
gomery Troiscarte, Canadian game shows Shows for American export have always been a part of the
fall under two categories: cheap and game says our insider, “American companies loved to shoot
educational or cheap and intended for an in Toronto or Vancouver because the crews and studio space
American audience. But he can’t deny that were so much cheaper. They then turned around and aired the
they’re making a comeback in epic proportions. show to unsuspecting American viewers that had no idea they
“Deal or No Deal is a good example,” the expert tells the Spe- were watching Canadian hosts, contestants and even audi-
cial. “This is the number one show on TV. Think of the cost of ences.”
an episode of this verses CSI, for example” Along with famous exports like Let’s Make a Deal, there was
Troiscarte, explains that Canada has a unique history with also Supermarket Sweep (1997-1998), “Who’d of thought shop-
regards to these game shows and that many of these low-bud- ping for groceries could be so much fun! Someone, I guess.”
get half-hour trivia contests have Canadian origins. Sponk! (2001) featured an all pre-teen cast of improv com-
“This is the Law (1971-1976) was a program where law enthu- edy-bandwagon jumpers, during the Whose Line Is It Anyway
siasts debated what law was being broken in poorly directed era. Produced for American consumption on Nickelodeon
silent vignettes,” our veteran game show insider explains. TV, it featured a mixed American/Canadian cast and a bitter
Equal offender was Campus Quiz on CHEX (1973–1992). It mishmash of CBC/CTV crew looking to pay off their gambling

Special
featured shocked, dazed and generally stunned debts. The show taped up to five episodes a
teenage contestants rounded up from local high Toronto day at the pre-MTV Masonic Temple with
schools. The grand prize for the winning W5H B- audiences of bused in 7-year-olds from vari-
team was a large double pepperoni from Peterbor- ous day care centres.
ough Pizza. A.D. Washboro By the end of the nineties game shows had
“Canadian networks would rather not air this almost disappeared. The ones that were still
stuff at all. They only did to fulfill their quota of CanCon. And on the air were self-aware parodies such as the off kilter Uh-
in some cases pulled the plug on them even though ratings Oh! with hilarious game show host Scott Yaphe (1997-2000).
were through the roof,” adds Troiscarte. In contrast American Originally a mock game show segment on YTV’s comedy series
networks clamored for the cheaply produced shows in order It’s Alive, it got its own show where losing kid contestants were
to satisfy a much larger and less discerning audience. slimed ala You Can’t Do That on Television.
The 1970’s also brought CTV’s Definition (1974-1989). In- YTV also pumped out odd programs such as Video and Ar-
spired by long rides to grandma’s house this Jim Perry hosted cade Top 10. In it anxious 11-year-old boys were thrown into a
show was basically a glorified game of hangman. “Its real one hour snake pit of hot female hosts and video games where
claim to fame is that the theme song inspired the music for they overdosed on their ultimate wet dream.
Mike Myers mega series, Austin Powers,” quibbles Troiscarte. “CBC entered the mock game show genre with Smart Ask!
Bizarre programs included The Mad Dash (1979) featuring (2001) burning through one to two hosts per season. The only
Quebec crooner Pierre Lalonde presiding over what can only constant was the ever insincere audience ‘rap sessions’ with
be described as a human board game. Troiscarte also cites the side-kick slash ‘rap artist’ Michie Mee.”
wacky Love Me, Love Me Not (1986-89), which featured con- Over on the Comedy Network ‘Adult’ and tasteless were the
testants running around a giant daisy in pursuit of a member watch words of the day which resulted in the disaster of Gut-
of the opposite sex, “Canadian TV has featured some of the terball Alley says our insider, “Hack comics pitted hapless
strangest shows in television history.” contestants against each other in bottom of the barrel vulgar
The 1980’s included a host of cheap yet surreal afternoon antics.”
shows such as Just Like Mom - many of which were taped at Currently game shows seem to have come full circle says
CFTO’s studio in Scarborough. Troiscarte. Deal or No Deal proves that an old fashion game of
“With Bumper Stumpers (1987-1990) the producers had chance with big cash prizes and contestants with no skill are
the brilliant idea to base this show on vanity license plates. always the winning ingredients to game show success.
Cause that’s what people think about, vanity license plates.

JUST LIKE MOM

Superfan pop culture

Where husband and wife hosts
Fergie Olver and Catherine Swing’s
awkward interviewing skills ex-
posed favourite hiding places, worst

game show time line

punishments and er… child abuse.
But stay tuned for round two and
the Bake Off, where Mom’s dine on
pancakes made of soda pop and
ketchup. If Mom can correctly guess
PARTY GAME which delicious dish was prepared
1970-81 by her daughter they win a trip for
This long running CHCH game of charades with two to Disney World with accom-
sexual innuendos featured guest ‘stars’ Dinah modation at the Motor-home Inn
Christie, Billy Van and Jack Duffy, with host Bill Motel. That’s two weeks less spou-
Walker. They soon became household names sal abuse.
for playing party games for 2 hours on a fake
living room TV set.

TEST PATTERN
1988-1992
Interestingly the title
doubled as what
REACH FOR THE TOP viewers of the show
1969 – CURRENT would rather
watch than the
Trebek first hosted this seminal head to head actual show.
high school trivia showdown. Rumour has it
that in ‘71 after a bad call from Trebek students
challenged the then-mustached quiz master to a
rumble in the parking lot.
 WINNING ON THE WHEEL

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Q: Canada has been home to some famous game

shows, as well as hosts like Alex Trebek and Jim
Perry. With cheap sets, corny music and prizes from
the Bay, hometown hero Howie Mandel, should’ve
figured it was all in the cards.
A: What are the ingredients to a winning game show?

SHOW ME THE MONEY

2005 (FIVE GLITTERING EPISODES)

Finally gave celebrated Shakespearean/Star Trek actor

William Shatner the chance to share his two passions,
hamming it up and dancing in sequenced vests.

WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE

CANADIAN EDITION
2000 (TWO EPISODES)

Complete with a condescending intro by bag of bones THE GILL DEACON SHOW
brillo head Regis Philbin, this Pamela Wallen hosted 2006 - CURRENT
extravaganza ran only two episodes in Sep 2000.
After all the effort to fly the crew and contestants to Deacon keeps Canadian
New York a smart-alecky separatist succeeded at day time game shows on life
separating $64, 000 in cash winnings from CTV. support by playing Cranium
live-to-air with contestants
chosen at random from the
CBC audience CBC staff
LET’S MAKE A DEAL pretending to be audience.
1981 (FILMED IN CANADA)
For one season this zany program was shot on the west coast on the
cheap with Canadian host Monty Hall. It featured an audience of Canadian
weirdos with toothbrushes and other funny things in their pockets. The
program became synonymous with funny outfits and outlandish prizes
such as live pigs, fur-coated garbage cans and 500 pounds of bananas.
The Original
Scarborough
‘T’

Order your t-shirt online today www.stripmallsofscarborough.com

 DINOSAUR BONES FOUND
E R IOheN
IN DOVERCOURT HOME!!
MYS
T
mentalis
t

t M O R E O F t he doctor T
L O F
U
Rea d IT OR NO
O
V E

GH MONTH
’s B ELIE
in Ripley
Hello Humans telepathy. Either way the results remain a mysteri-

I must admit that although Toronto paranor-
mal activity has been cooling down lately, it hasn’t
stopped me from uncovering some more strange
tales about Toronto history.
Did you know that in the early 1970’s an experi-
ment was held in Toronto to see if a group of people
could “create” their own ghost and then summon it
using traditional séance means? This experiment
was documented by the CBC and named the Phillip
Phenomena, after the ghost, a 17th century English
aristocrat. When the group gathered they would
keep Phillip in mind and see whether anything su-
pernatural would happen. At first the tests yielded
no results. But as time passed the spirit manifested
itself by scratching the table surface and making
his presence known by flicking lights on and off
and moving the table. Some claim it was another
spirit latching onto the group, others claim that the
group’s subconscious tapped into an existing spirit
and they came up with the personality using
ous and strange fact of Toronto’s past.
Who says an elephant never forgets:
One young couple living at College and Dovercourt
in 1977 thought they had discovered the bones of
T-Rex in their backyard. Confused by the find, au-
thorities were notified and the bones turned out to
be those of a recently deceased elephant from a zoo
in Quebec. A neighbour of the couple turned out to
own a taxidermy shop around the corner and was
commissioned to stuff the beast. According to leg-
end he had misplaced the bones during a routine
cleaning.
Well another year has passed and what a year it
has been. Toronto Special columnist, Mysterion, has
been catapulted into Ripley’s Believe It or Not next
annual edition (Number 4). That means that Ripley’s
has recognized Mysterion’s incredible mind powers
that Special readers have understood all along.
Incredible!
The book will be available in the Fall 2007.
THE
Punk rock Goddess Talli is a personal
favourite of Mysterion. When she isn’t
causing trouble along Queen West, Talli
is a music writer for an online main-
stream publication called a Nub’s Eye
View. A fan of all things sexy, shes loves
hanging out in the nude and rocking out
at Punk shows. You can catch her online
at myspace.com/talli or drinking at the
Bistro 422 until crashing to the floor.
My most cherished memory of Talli was
watching her whip through the Science
Centre’s Body World exhibit on her hot
pink scooter with me chasing behind
like a little puppy dog. Woof!

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OFFICE GREETING CARDS
HAVE STAFF TURNING
A BLIND EYE
S INSULTS PROVE
OUTRAGEOU
OFFICE WORKERS ARE
OU T TO LU N C H - LI T E R A LLY !! !

B
en Alec
couldn’t
believe his
eyes when he
noticed what
fellow office workers were
writing on internal greeting
cards. And when the profes-
sional proofreader decided
to test whether anyone
reads the cards, he found a
whole new trend that has
some in offices busting
their gut in hysterics.
“I was reading over a
co-worker’s birthday
card one afternoon when
I noticed that Shirley,
our bookkeeper, was
seeing someone in the
office who had the same
name,” explains the 42

7
year-old single father
of three. “I guess she
didn’t realize the card
wasn’t for him when CARDINAL SINS: Toronto office workers are spending more time insulting their co-workers
she wrote: ‘Happy than getting their jobs done. And the newest trend in the Bay Street towers have workers
writing insults on greeting cards because nobody reads them anyway.
B-Day, baby. I’ll be in
my birthday suit for you
tonight at 8’.”
Alec was amazed that not one person including the birthday
receiver even bothered to read the cards they were given.
“Offices are very sterile environments,” expresses psychologist Dr. Sol Ruben-
stein to the Special. “People seem to just want to finish work and go home. They don’t
THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T WRITE
care about the party planning.”
Alec decided to put his theory that no one reads these cards to the test. And when
IN AN OFFICE GREETING CARD:
a junior co-worker was promoted last month, Alec wrote: ‘Isn’t it amazing how far
you can get sleeping under upper management?’
X You disgust me you suck-up, egotistical
“I didn’t let anyone in on what I was doing,” smirks Alec. “So when our reception- bastard… Oh, and Happy Birthday.
ist, Lou-Ann, came back from maternity leave, I wrote in her card: ‘We all know X God bless nepotism.
that you use the office line for your phone sex business. Thanks for being such an
important part of our business.” X Your chair is broken because you gained too
Over the course of January, Alec contributed his unique comments to cards for much weight over the summer - fat ass!
five birthdays, two promotions, a bar mitzvah and even a wedding. And when
everyone’s favourite employee, Drew Reid, was leaving for his honeymoon, Alec X I have no idea who you are or what you do here.
couldn’t resist, “I added: ‘I was the one who stole your petty cash. Sorry but I re- X Why did you get home so late last night? And
ally needed to pay my rent’. why were you wearing that slutty dress?
“Mr. Alec’s seemingly practical joke is in hindsight a real metaphor for the blind
ambition behind office workers,” cites Rubenstein.” Obviously to see this sort of X Thanks for making us the most laughed at office in the building,
behaviour outside of shows like The Office becomes seemingly depressing.” keep up the good work.
However, Alec vows to continue making his snide comments to co-workers until
someone writes him up on it. X May you burn in the Hell that is your new Executive Corner
-K.A. Zemnickis Office, you corporate coward. -TABWIRE NEWS SERVICES
TIFFANY TOWERS
DISHES IT OUT FOR
VALENTINE’S DAY
A
dult film star and Toronto native, Tiffany her a nice romantic movie can also be the key to a perfect
Towers, knows that Saint Valentine’s Day romantic evening, “I think Moulin Rouge is a great love
can be pretty serious business. And she story,” Towers expresses to the Special. “Although it
recently confessed to the Special some of the things has a pretty tragic ending. It is definitely the key
Torontonians can do to spice up their sex life and to any romantic night with your partner.”
bring the sexy back into the most romantic day of The newly single Towers, however, plans to
the year. spend this Valentine’s Day alone and has
“Start by planning,” she tells the Special. “It doesn’t some advice for others that may be plan-
matter what happens, but if you show that you’ve ning to ignore the day altogether.
really thought and cared about what your partner “Be your own Valentine,” she exclaims.
wants then that doesn’t go unnoticed.” “Make a nice dinner and watch your fa-
The aspiring veterinarian technician goes on to vourite show.”
say that the key to her heart is locked up at the For Tiffany that would consist of Ugly
Toronto Zoo, “I love going to the zoo. It’s one of my Betty or Grey’s Anatomy, but she also
favourite places in the city to just go and have fun has a fondness for Beauty and the Geek.
and relax.” And although she could never see her-
Towers’ animal loving even showed up in the self as part of that show, she does have
title of her 2005 comeback film Faster Pussycat a soft spot for those nerdy boys.
Fuck! Fuck! which was inspired by legendary film “Better yet,” she concludes. “Go out
auteur Russ Myer’s Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill! with your other single friends and
But if you and your partner decide to have a ro- just have a great time.”
mantic dinner, Towers recommends something
special; either your favourite restaurant or may-
be stay in and make a nice dish, “I love to go
out and eat in Toronto,” she confides. “I love
to cook too, but there are so many great plac-
es to eat in the city.”
HEARTFELT FACTS ON
Among Towers’ number one picks are: Ba-
ton Rouge, for the ribs; The Barbarian, for
TIFFANY TOWERS
the steak; and the always popular Harbour • Got her start at the Blackhawk Inn
60, for just about anything.
After dinner Towers says that if you’re in a • myspace.com/therealtiffanytowers
long-term relationship then go home and rav- • Her dog was the runner-up for the
ish each other. But for those new couples, the production Of Mice and Men
former centerfold for Hustler, D-Cup and Pent-
house, warns to not rush into anything and to take • Has made over 50 adult
it slow, “Maybe a nice kiss or cuddle, but definite- feature films
ly do not go all the way.” • Enjoys the cocktail
She also recommends some nice romantic music
to help set the mood, “For me it’s Sarah McLach-
Harvey Wallbanger

Special
lan, Enya or Patty Griffin the writer for the Dixie
Chicks.”
• Loves to knit Toronto
Having starred in over 50 adult feature films,
Towers is no stranger to the silver screen. And for
R.D. Shaw

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 IZZY STERN
OR
T
AIN’
HE?
I am madder than Saddam’s hangman with a
pixilated video screen over all these corporate blogs
posting videos about their products.
I mean just the other day I was sitting at my
computer and I started watching this video blog. It
was all about some poor bride who wigs-out about
her new hair cut. Or so I thought. Turns out it was
a commercial for Sunsilk hair products! I did some
sleuthing and found out that marketing company
Capital C Communications had hired these gals to
play on my emotions. The Toronto trickster behind
the charade, Robbie McNamara says it’s a ‘net seed’.
“You plant your seed on the Net, you nurture it,
you watch it grow and then, hopefully, you watch
it become a phenomenon that everyone’s talking
about, which is exactly what happened with the
wigout video,” said McNamara.
Then I’m telling ol’ Gus this story and he shows
me this site, Happyslip.com and this gal Christine
who’s doing all this funny, honest stuff and people,
like Gus, are loving it. So I decided to give her a call
and find out what’s going on.
“I wanted to do a one woman show,” she tells
me from her home in New York City. “Originally I
wanted to do it in a theatre, but on the Internet I
can have the whole world as my audience.”
It’s the type of thing that is making EI Joe become
an instant star and not have to spend all day
SEX TOYS
‘‘ I shop at Good for Her on Harbord...
...because it’s comfortable for both of us.
For me, I like that the staff have pre-selected
the sex toys and videos.’’ –Gill
‘‘I like the knowledgeable staff.
I won’t get a sales pitch and I trust them
to be honest and direct.’’ –Juno
Celebrating 10 years on
Harbord Street and online.
www.goodforher.com
175 Harbord St • 416-588-0900
CITIZEN JOURNALISTS WRITING
CORPORATE WRONGS
frittering their talent away at some minimum wage
job. And Christine says that on YouTube alone she
has been viewed over 3 million times.
“I can act like a fool. I spoof everything from my
parents to my family to soap operas.”
And, although, Christine would love to take her
show to new heights, she’s pretty content with the
response she’s getting from the viewers.
However, when I confessed to her my dilemma
with these corporate blogs she had some pretty
interesting thoughts, “People want the ordinary
person telling stories. News media is so polished
and people are getting sick of the mainstream. I
think that it keeps people more in touch and allows
them to better relate to the person giving them the
story.”
When I was a cub reporter for the Times, I was
writing truthful heartfelt stories about people and
places. Gus says that I was the original blogger.
I had editors that were all about honesty and
compassion, people like Christine that take some
things seriously, but know when to laugh.
All this blogging B.S for the hair care industry was
too much for this old reporter to take. So I decided it
was time to get stern! I’m putting together my own
video blog inspired by Happyslip.com. It might be a
video of Gus and I drinking pints or a video of those
NDPers running around with their pants down, but
HANDHELD FAME : With the sale of YouTube it
most importantly I’m going to direct regular people seems that everyone is watching video blogs
to corporate blogs like Capitol C and let them see these days. And for Christine at Happyslip.com,
the fakery big business is trying to ram down our that’s great news. Her soap opera video blog -
updated weekly - is getting new viewers every-
gullets. I’m gonna work to get them off the Internet day. At the same time it means that corporate big
cause I don’t need some banker or barber telling wigs are trying to get in on the action with their
me how to think no more, I already got George own video blogs that are really just commercials
disguised as other commercials.
Stroumbo-whats-his-face for that.
ADULT DVDS & BOOKS SEXUALITY SEMINARS
Gill & Juno,
together
since ‘98
SCREWED
brought to you by
Ask
o x x h o f f WHAT HAPPENS WHEN MY GIRLFRIEND
Polly R CARES MORE ABOUT HERSELF THAN TV Scorpio
I’ve been seeing this guy for about six months.
The sex has been great, but lately he’s been hint-
ing at having other people join us in the bedroom.
He says it doesn’t matter if it’s a girl or a guy, but
I’m nervous. Should I agree to this and if so, what
should I do? How should I act? I spoke to my priest
at church and he said it was wrong and I should
dump him. What do you think?
Wow, I think that it’s cool that you ask both a priest
and a sex columnist about your guy wanting to
bring in a third party for a night of hot sex! I guess
it was obvious what the priest said, but what about
me? ‘Yeah, sure do it, spice it up!’ Nope, I wouldn’t
suggest it, not right away. Start by asking yourself
if you really want a third party or if you just want it
for your guy. If you don’t, it’s settled and you either
give him permission to find his fantasy somewhere
else or he keeps his fantasy where fantasies live
and screw you with them in mind. If you do want
to have a ‘threesome’ then remember that fantasy
made flesh can lose luster and shift gears once the
reality ball starts rolling. I’ve played every position
in this game of three and, truly, the key is to get re-
ally good at playing middle. Being able to receive
and give sexual attention. Know that jealousy will
come up and that it’s natural, recognize it, accept it
and let it move through, process it later alone or with
all partners. Speak your mind, all partners should
be heard and respected. Read Redefining Our Rela-
tionships, by Wendi O’Matick, and The Ethical Slut
by Dossie Easton and Catherine List. These ladies
have been keeping score on how we interact around
sharing our sexuality, intimacy and bodies. Tell each
other stories about being with other people, notice
the feelings that come up and see if you can’t get
through them together. If you do introduce another
person, be honest with them about your desires. In
many ways it’ll be awkward for them because you
guys already have a connection. Make a few rules
that make you feel safe, like if one really wants to
stop then all must stop and not be resentful but work
toward supporting each others feelings.
This past Christmas my girlfriend treated her-
self to a vibrating bunny. Lately she’s been us-
ing it all the time. I even found her skipping the
new season of the Apprentice to play with her toy
and that’s her favourite show! Sometimes I think
she likes the bunny more than she likes me. She
even nicknamed it Thumper! Should I confront her
about her new toy?
Yes. Confront her about it. Tell her that you are jeal-
ous cause she’s spending more time with her toy
than with you, and tell her you miss her. And I think
that skipping any TV show to play with yourself is
a good idea, so that part I wouldn’t worry about.
She’s having fun, try to remember that and sup-
port her, remember when you got your first Ninten-
do? Get yourself in on the action, learn to operate
the toy and give her the good stuff that makes her
so happy. Challenge her to find ways the toy can
pleasure you too, it’ll be fun. Maybe neither of you
will watch TV for a month. HOT!
Questions: e-mail sexypolly@thespecial.ca
the Special’s Guide
to the Stars!!
Pisces
You’ve got the look but do you have what it
takes to be a top model? There’s only one way
to find out sister. Sleep with judges. Find them
where ever you can: the courts, non-binding tri-
bunals even those guys at Footlocker. Looks can only take you so far,
whereas strategic and manipulative sex will put you on top.
Aries
This month you must find where the treasure is
hidden on Toronto Island. Alone and with no sup-
plies you must take the Island ferry into the heart
of darkness. Once there you will encounter rich
landowners pretending to be concerned about the environment. Pay
them no heed, they’re just trying to increase the market share value
on the future resale of their property. Hippies!
Taurus
This season things will really be heating
up as Taurus meets her Trump at last. Tau-
rus, you’ve got bad hair, he loves attention,
you’ve got a loud mouth, he’s got a lot of
money. Sounds like a match made in Hollywood. But don’t get your
hopes up yet, Trump’s holding all the cards and Rosie’s breakfast, to
boot. He may just not have time for a third? Fourth wife? I can’t keep
track anymore.
Gemini
Excellent job on the last challenge, you’ve
proven that you’re the best contestant and can
remain in the Big Brother House. You must be
the smartest player or the most liked by Inter-
net voters (Showing all that skin was a good move). Watch out for
a roommate to make there move in the coming weeks. They will try
and seduce you with their witty remarks and dark eyes. But lookout
they may just have their eyes on your enormous cash rather than
your moderate rack.
Cancer
You’re a talented, funny and quirky individu-
al. But don’t let it go to your pretty little head.
The way that we see ourselves is not always
the way that people actually see us. Think
about it, Cancer, your family doesn’t support your creative career
choice, you’re only funny when you’re high and quirky is just a word
that old friends who keep losing your number use to describe you.
Think twice this year before lining up for Canadian Idol.
Leo
Leo, just because you scored a perfect on your SAT and
you’ve never kissed a girl doesn’t mean you can’t get laid
this month. Just look at Beauty and the Geek for inspi-
ration. They take people like you, give them a makeover
and then set them up with Playboy models. Good luck nerdo.
Virgo
Stop trying to be a Supernanny. Just because
Mister Donaldson slips you an extra twenty
for disciplining him when he’s been naughty,
doesn’t mean he’s going to make you his kids
new mom. Put Dream Boat Donaldson out of your mind and focus
on more important things, like finishing high school.
Libra
Ever feel like you’re the bit player in a Reality TV
show with Emmanuel Lewis? You’re not alone. At
some time in our lives we all feel a bit like that put
upon, yet lovable little imp. Just remember that it’s
different strokes for different folks, wait that’s Gary Coleman. So ac-
tually if you feel like Emmanuel Lewis you might as well just play with
some matches and burn your house down.
Your next challenge will be to swap places
with Virgo. In every way, you must be
like Virgo in order to move on to the next
round. If you do not impress the judges,
you will be sent home. So go get your things and become someone
you’re not. Don’t worry, you will be able to change back at the end of
the month and ruin your host families life by spending their winnings
on the family dog.
Sagittarius
Remember when you were drunk
at that party and you made those
jokes about Small Wonder. Then
you pointed out that Nicki Payne
from Last Comic Standing looked an awful lot like that little girl. That’s
the kind of humour we all love, not weird faces and silly voices.
Capricorn
It’s not your fault that your love
life is in the dumps. It’s not like
every night you sit around watch-
ing CFMT waiting for Elimidate to
come on. But oh man, you know that if you were on that show you
could handle four girls from a trailer park in a hot tub. Or mack those
bitches in the arcade in a mean game of foosball, while their black
boyfriends waited off camera. That’s nut’n fo a playa like you!
Aquarius
I’m sorry, Aquarius but your final an-
swer is incorrect. The correct answer
was “B”... hold on... my gosh, it looks
as though we made a mistake. My
apologies Aquarius, this never happens to us. We have a computer
double check everything. If only we could get a computer to replace
Ryan Seacrest. It wouldn’t be more entertaining, but it would be way
less gay. It looks like this month will be in your favour!