Business Communication

RAW SCORE: EQUIVALENT:

Far Eastern University
General Education Office

NAME: SECTION/SCHEDULE: DATE:

PROGRAM/MAJOR: ACTIVITY # 1 FACULTY:

Business Communication – Email

I. MESSAGE TONES. It is important to know how we communicate mirrors the kind of person we are. In the
business setting, a message tone is a reflection of the writer and it affects how the reader will perceive the message.
Business writing must have the proper tone to ensure it is effective. If the tone leaves the content unclear, confusing
or, worst case, offensive, the reader won’t be able to properly absorb or react to the text. (Cullen, 2018)

Letter #1: Revise the email below to eliminate the negative tone and attitude of impatience with the patient.

Dear Mrs. Cruz,

As we have repeatedly discussed at least five times already on the phone with you and even on emails you sent
occasionally, we can no longer provide you the remote assistance of constantly providing you reminders on the
dosages of your medicines. For the last time, always refer to the prescriptions and notes provided to you when you
were discharged. There are eight medicines that you have to take everyday. You already have the details about
these medicines. After all, we hope you have already remembered everything since you have already called us
regularly in the past days.

Much as we want to offer remote assistance, we also have current patients who need physical care and attention.
We hope that by this time you have already remembered everything. With all due respect, we hope you do not
misunderstand this message. We are just busy at the moment because of the huge number of patients currently
confined in the hospital.

Thanks,

Juan Dela Cruz

Nurse

1. Your revised version of the email communication (10pts)

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 Business Communication

2. What do you think is the content of the email sent by Mrs. Cruz to Nurse Juan? (5pts)

3. How do you feel about the email reply of Nurse Juan? Why did you feel that way? What can be the implication
of message tones to the professional therapeutic relationship? (5pts)

Letter #2: Revise the letter and make it professional as it is too emotional and too casual.

John,
What happened today between you and Mark????? I’m expecting a professional behavior from you both and what
you have done does not qualify as that!!!!!!!!!! Please explain!!!!
Regards,
Simon

1. Your revised version of the email communication (10pts)

2. What is wrong with the original email? How did you make it right? (5pts)

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 Business Communication

Letter #3: Revise the letter and make it professional as it is too personal and unappropriate in language.

Hi,
The password to my Paypal account is m1ccu54. Please login tomorrow and make the payment I asked you to. You
should find all the information you need inside the account.
Call me if you run into any trouble.
John

1. Your revised version of the email communication (10pts)

2. What is wrong with the original email? How did you make it right? (5 pts)

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 Business Communication

RUBRICS:

Quality Some Proficiency (0) High Proficiency (1) (Rating)

Criteria
1. Focus: Purpose is somewhat vague OR only Purpose is clear to the reader;
Clarity (x1) loosely related to the writing task closely match the writing task

2. Organization (x2) Some signs of logical organization. Fully & imaginatively supports
May have abrupt or illogical shifts & thesis & purpose. Sequence of
ineffective flow of ideas ideas is effective. Transitions are
effective

3. Support/ Offers somewhat obvious support that Substantial, logical, & concrete
Reasoning on Ideas may be too broad. development of ideas. Assumptions
are made explicit.

4. Support/ Details are too general, not Details are germane, original, and
Reasoning on Details interpreted, irrelevant to thesis, or convincingly interpreted
inappropriately repetitive

A. Essay Rubric

B. Email Rubric

2 1 0
Format & Clear and appropriate greetings, Greeting does not contain name of No greeting, font is difficult
Structure professional email address, sans serif recipient, e-mail is unprofessional, font to read or inappropriate, no
font between 10-12., professional colors/sizes are hard to read, signature.
signature line unprofessional signature
Content Clear brief descriptive message. Clear brief descriptive message. Message is several
Thoroughly explains purpose. paragraphs and does not get
to the point quickly OR is so
short it doesn't give detail.
Mechanics no errors One of two minor errors. Multiple errors. Uses text
abbreviations.
Tone (x2) Friendly, clear, descriptive. Friendly, clear, descriptive. Casual

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