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2. I try to discern if the root of my confusion is in me, or if I’m confused about who
God is. Most often a ‘feeling of confusion’ surrounds a particular question related to
life, relationships or direction.”
3. “It helps me to write out, journal-style, all the aspects of my confusion and all the
things I am feeling,” or talk things over with a competent person (seek help)
4. pray over it
If you find you just don’t know how to pray about something, you’re in good company — many of us face that
situation regularly. And you’re in a good position — God doesn’t expect us to always know what to ask for.
Too often, we are reluctant to come before God when we don’t have everything figured out. We may find it
hard to admit that we’re totally dependent on him. “I don’t think we have to be afraid of not asking for the
‘right’ things,” says Mary Anne. “Our loving heavenly Father knows what we need even before we ask
(see Matthew 6:31-33). However, just like any loving father, God loves us to seek him and to ask, because he
so deeply enjoys relating to us!”
Untangling the confusion
There are several reasons you could be confused about how to pray. Lorita Boyle, Urbana 06 prayer
coordinator says, “For example, do I truly believe God is good and wants what is best for me? We can always
ask and pray for clarity in the midst of the confusion. But basically, we first want to know what it is we’re
feeling confused about — is it about life, faith, or a relationship with a friend? Most often a ‘feeling of
confusion’ surrounds a particular question related to life, relationships or direction.”
Terry Morrison, Director Emeritus for InterVarsity Faculty Ministries, suggests going to the Bible to pray
God’s Word. “Start off with some chat with the Lord about how you feel confused and not sure of what to
pray,” suggests Terry. “Then pray some of Paul’s prayers. Using Ephesians 1:15-23, for example, you can
start giving specific thanks for the people around you and pray for them, asking for God’s empowering
presence and especially for him to give you knowledge on how to pray. Be reassured that God’s Spirit prays
for us, especially when we are confused on how to pray” (see the link to Romans 8:26-27 above).
Learning to pray means learning what kinds of things are most important to God — what really matters that is
worth praying for. We can always pray for the important things, such as to be pleasing to God, and for God to
encourage and protect those we love. “As we get in the habit of that kind of prayer,” says Terry, “it’s easier to
just bring our confusion to God and say, ‘Lord, please take it from here.’” A good angle for learning to pray is
to study the prayers of key people in the Bible. One excellent book for that is Daring to Draw Near by John
White (IVP).
This process can take some work and some time. “I always ask God to suggest scriptures to guide me and my
prayers, and often a passage or phrase of scripture will come to my mind,” says Mary Anne. “If I don’t know
where to find the text, I look it up in a concordance. Then, I meditate on the text and pray it back to the Lord.
If no scripture comes, I ask God to speak to me in my daily readings over time and show me what he wants me
to see about the issues that have been confusing me.”
And if the confusion remains? “I keep bringing that journal page to God until he gives me light and
discernment,” says Mary Anne. “And of course you’re not alone in seeking clarity. Ask to pray with a mature
friend. Take time to listen to God together for helpful scriptures. While it will take time, keep looking to God
for clarity.”