How Do I Negotiate my Self-identity in the Social Contexts I am in?

(A Reflection Paper)

All throughout life we encounter different social contexts that which defines the way we
are, that defines our self- identities. Like how we interact and act around our close friends may
be different from how we act in front of our parents. This is how we decide who is who in the
different settings in the process of communicating or interacting. This is the key in building
relationships with other people in the society we’re living in.

As a kid I never really thought about trying to fit in, whoever I encounter I just acted the
way I wanted to. I guess that’s why I always got scolded by my parents and got told that I should
act nice and quiet around other people, to just behave and do what a good kid does. But it’s
normal to be that way since I was just a toddler. As I grew older I realized that every person has
different sides depending in the type situation you are in. Well, we get to decide who we want
to be in other people’s eyes and that’s where we change our attitudes and personalities
whenever we encounter different types of people, whenever we go to different places. There are
different sides to a person’s identity, and each are shown with respect to the kinds of people we
encounter. It can be the playful side, humorous, serious side etc. Each are brought out in
situations that are appropriate. How you talk to your classmates shouldn’t be the way you do
with your teacher, how you act at home shouldn’t be the way you act inside the classroom. I
always consider the kind of atmosphere I am in and decide which attitude and personality I
should show, this is a way of formality and being sensitive and considerate to the type of person
I meet and the type of place I am in.

“When in Rome, live as the Romans do; when elsewhere, live as they live elsewhere.” , I’ve
always been familiar with this quote, and I always follow this principle wherever I go and whoever
I encounter. In every place I visit, I always keep in mind the do’s and don’ts to avoid
misunderstandings.
 On the contrary, it’s not really necessary to change and minimize your personality or real
identity as you grow older. We only change what is necessary but most of the time, that doesn’t
include the traits that makes us who we are.

The way I figure it, the older we get, the less we tend to filter our self-identities, because
at that time, we already accept ourselves. However, there are times where it is necessary to
negotiate, but most of the time, we only show one kind of identity and that is the real one, the
one which makes us unique and different from everyone else.
 Beautiful

(A Reflection Paper)

I wonder, what does being Beautiful really mean? What does it take to be called beautiful,
to feel beautiful? This song sums it all up. The struggles of every individual in a harsh society,
where the epitome of beauty is shown on every cover of magazines. So if you don’t have all those
features, you’re not considered beautiful. This song is a reminder that no matter what others say,
it shouldn’t affect the way you look at yourself.

It’s really depressing to wake up everyday and be reminded everytime of how ugly you
are, be reminded of the things that you don’t have, your imperfections. I can tell, because that’s
how I feel everyday. The moment you open your social media accounts, you’re feed would be
bombarded with how beauty looks like in this society. Photos of celebrities and famous, pretty
faces. It hurts how being the way you are would look ugly to other people, hearing the harsh
things they say about your face, your weight, your waist circumference, everything. It just makes
me want to hide in the closet for the rest of my life. As a matter of fact, I hate being around
people, in crowded places. I hate showing too much skin, or if I do, I would never be comfortable
because I would overthink about what others might say about the way I look. There would be
times where I would just keep my head down in crowded places because I’m scared of judgement
because it would make my anxiety skyrocket and that would be the worst thing that can happen
to anyone who also has social anxieties. It’s really hard to keep up with all these beauty standards
the society has created. It’s hard to not cry everytime you get called names like fat, dark,
masculine, feminine. Ugly. These painful words affect us so much that we start to believe in
something that isn’t true. We start to believe that we really are ugly. It’s just so unfair, why are
we suffering for being true to ourselves? Why is being different considered ugly? Why do we
have to meet the standards just to be called beautiful.

This song calls out to every person who has insecurities, hidden or not. This song tells you
that your beauty can never be defined by other people. It reminds us that you are beautiful in
every single way” . Thin or plus size, dark or fair, wrinkled or scarred, these things are considered
beautiful. Those hurtful words should not worry us at all, because words can’t bring us down.