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RICHARD
A month ago you were in med school being taught by doctors.
(Residents enter looking around and recognizing the place they are at, while hearing Richard’s
instructions)
RICHARD
… Now you’re the doctors. The seven years you spend as a surgical resident will be the best and the
worst of your life. You will be pushed to your breaking point. Look around you. Say hello to your
competition. Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty. Five of you will crack under the
pressure. Two of you will be asked to leave. This is the starting line. This is your arena. How well
you play?. It’s up to you.
(The interns shift, freaked. Meredith swallows, nervous.)
MEREDITH
(To the audience)
Like I said. I’m 1._________
(He calls out the names of some interns while MEREDITH, CRISTINA AND GEORGE are getting
ready).
MARTIN! ROBINSON! BOND! HAWKINS!
MEREDITH
Only 6 women out of 2.____________
CRISTINA
Yeah. And I heard one of them is a model. Seriously, that’s gonna help with the respect thing!
SENIOR RESIDENT
(Same action as before)
MONROE! CROWE! OSBOURNE!...
CRISTINA
Which resident are you assigned to? I got Bailey.
MEREDITH
3.The________________? Me too.
(George approaches his eyes on Meredith.)
GEORGE
You got the nazi? So did I. Hey, at least we’ll be tortured together, right? –I’m George? O’Malley? We
met at the mixer? You had on 4. a black_____________, slit up the side, 5.strappy ____________
and… Now you think I’m gay.
(Cristina leaves the room annoyed)
I’m not gay. It’s just I’m a guy and you look really… You were… very… unforgettable…
SENIOR RESIDENT
O’MALLEY! YANG! GREY! STEVENS!
(Hearing her name, Meredith leaves and George follows.)
GEORGE
(To himself out loud)
And I’m 6.___________forgettable.
CRISTINA
That’s “the NAZI”?
GEORGE
I thought the nazi would be a 7. __________
MEREDITH
I thought the nazi would be… a nazi
CRISTINA
Let me guess. You’re the model.
(They approach Bailey. Izzie is all smiles, friendly.)
IZZIE
Hi. I’m Isabel Stevens, but 10.__________________ calls me Izzie.
BAILEY
(Gives a despicable look to Izzie and then talks to everybody)
I have 5 rules. Memorize them. Rule #1: Don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you; that’s not
gonna change. Trauma Protocol, phone list, pagers. Nurses will page you. You answer every page
at a run.. A RUN. That’s rule #2.
(She goes around walking at high speed. The four interns follow her.)
BAILEY
Your first shift stars now and lasts 11.___________ hours.
GEORGE
12.___________hours?
BAILEY
You’re interns, grunts, 13. ___________, bottom of the surgical food chain, and don’t complain; I
don’t care if your shift lasts 14._________days.
BAILEY
Sleep where and when you can. This is rule #3: If I’m sleeping, don’t wake me up unless your patient
is actually dying, that’s rule #4, the patient better not be dead, Are you sure, you 15.___________?.
(Meredith raises her hand, then Bailey’s PAGER SOUNDS.)
MEREDITH
You said 5 rules. You only told us 4.
BAILEY
(Reading pager)
Rule #5: When I move, you move. GET OUT OF MY WAY!.
(She takes off running. Pushing through the interns. Our four interns race to follow.)
BAILEY
What’ve we got?
BAILEY
Get her ready, guys.
(The interns put Katye in the center of the room. She begins to seize again.)
BAILEY
Get her on her side. Izzy get her 10mg shot ready.
(George, Meredith and Cristina put Katye on her right. Bailey watches)
BAILEY
NO, NO! The white lead is on the right – Rightey Whitey, smoke over fire!
(Meredith turns Katye on her left. Izzie prepares a Syringe. George lays out the tools to start the IV.)
BAILEY
HEY¡ Don’t let the blood hemolyze, Let’s go with the shot Izzie
(Katie sleeps sedated. PRESTON BURKE, an arrogant showdog who loves the show enters.)
BURKE
Heard we had a wet fish on dry land. What are you and your new ones doing about it? Any significant
outcome? My dear interns?...
(Bailey hands him the chart!, he reads it over.)
BAILEY
Absolutely Dr. Burke.
BURKE
Dr. Bailey, let’s shotgun her, I recommend the diazepam will be in a stage good enough to those 10
mg. Remember the blood pressure, the seizing had better not repeat again to this little and pretty girl,
ok?
(He strides out. Bailey turns to the interns.)
BAILEY
Cristina, you’re on labs. George, patient work ups. Meredith, get Katie down for a CT. She’s your
responsibility now.
BAILEY
(Bailey eyes her. Smiles)
You honey? You get to do the rectal exams…
(Bailey leaves the room leaving Izzie alone who desperate calls her mother)
IZZIE
Mom? ohhh, hi mom. It’s me… yeah I’m in the hospital… This is horrible mom, I have a Nazi boss
and she is so mean to me. I have to do disgusting rectal exams. You are a doctor but you never told me
this would be like this. I wanna keep modeling mom
(cries).
(Mom answers but it is not audible for the audience)
Ok mom, I’ll wait for you, come and pick me up urgently, please.
(Dr Richard is in an outside room with the patients of the rectal exams, and in an off voice calls Izzie
to do her job).
RICHARD
(Shouts)
Dr. Izzie, patients are waiting.
IZZIE
(Izzie hears the call and very annoyed leaves the room).
Oh God...