When Does One Come Under Jesus' Command to Marry?

When Do I Have to
Marry in Order to Have Peace God?

By Tyler, San Diego, CA 92162-0763COPYRIGHT © 10/28/10 All rights

reserved. by R. L. Tyler This file, in its entirety, may be posted on or copied off of
computer networks like Internet or WWW by anyone so inclined AS LONG AS IT
IS NOT CHANGED. If you find any errors in this document, please let me know
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http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Christian_Life_Issues_Today

+++It amazes me that some people respond to the

commands of King Jesus in the same way they respond in
the grocery or Wal*Mart store. They seem to feel free to
pick and choose the commands they want to obey like
they choose the food or sale items they want to buy,
leaving unobeyed or neglected the commands they don't
want to honoror obey, like they leave unselected the food
or sale items they don't want. We are the purchased
servant/slaves of King Jesus, and our obedience to His
commands is the our "birthmark", the evidence that we
are of Him.***Heb 5:8 though he were Son, he learned
obedience from the things which he suffered; 9 and
having been perfected, became to all them that obey
him, author of eternal salvation;***1 John 2: 3 ¶ And
hereby we know that we know him, if we keep his
commandments. 4 He that says, I know him, and does
not keep his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not
in him; 5 but whoever keeps his word, in him verily the
love of God is perfected. Hereby we know that we are in
him.In the OT the command to marry was straight
forward and clearly stated.***Dt. 22:28 If a man find a
damsel, a virgin, who is not betrothed, and lay hold on
her, and lie with her, and they be found, 29* then the
man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father
fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because
he hath humbled her; he may not put her away all his
days. ***Dt. 25:5 ¶ If brethren dwell together, and one of
them die, and have no son, the wife of the dead shall not
marry a stranger abroad: her husband’s brother shall go
in unto her, and take her to him as wife, and perform the
duty of a husband’s brother unto her.***Ex 22:16* ¶ And
if a man seduce a virgin that is not betrothed, and lie with
her, he shall certainly endow her, to be his wife. 17 If her
father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall weigh
money according to the dowry of virgins. 1 Cor 7 is a case
in point of commands to be obeyed as an expression of
our Love for Jesus (Jn14:15,21). First of all, what is a
command?Strong's Greek Lexicon:5794 Mood -
ImperativeThe imperative mood corresponds to the
English imperative, andexpresses a command to the
hearer to perform a certain actionby the order and
authority of the one commanding. Thus,Jesus' phrase,
"Repent ye, and believe the gospel" (Mk.1:15)is not at all
an "invitation," but an absolute commandrequiring full
obedience on the part of all hearers.1 Cor 7:2* but on
account of fornications, each man >>>>>>>>>is
commanded to be having<Tense - Present,Voice - Active,
Mood - Imperative, See 5794><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
his own wife, and each [woman >>>>>>>is
commanded to be] having<Tense - Present,Voice -
Active, Mood - Imperative, See 5794><<<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<her own husband.3 The husband
>>>>>>>>is commanded to be rendering<Tense -
Present,Voice - Active, Mood - Imperative, See
5794><<<< her due to the wife, and in like manner the
wife >>>>>>>[is commanded to be rendering his due]
to the husband.9* But if they have not control over
themselves, they are >>>commanded to marry<5657
Tense - Aorist, Voice - Active, Mood - ImperativeSee
5794>; <<<<<<<<<<<for it is better to marry than to
burn.+++We, His servant/slaves, are to obey all of His
commands, not just the ones we take a fancy to, or are
fond of. Consider the following commands from King
Jesus, ALL OF WHICH we are expected to obey willingly:
**** LUKE 6:27 ¶ But to you that hear I say, Love
[PRESENT IMPERATIVE] your enemies; do good [PRESENT
IMPERATIVE] to those that hate you; 28 bless [PRESENT
IMPERATIVE] those that curse you; pray [PRESENT
IMPERATIVE] for those who use you despitefully. . . . . 35
But love [PRESENT IMPERATIVE] your enemies, and do
good [PRESENT IMPERATIVE] , and lend [PRESENT
IMPERATIVE], . . . 36 Be ye [PRESENT IMPERATIVE]
therefore merciful, . . . ****ROMANS 12:14 Bless
[PRESENT IMPERATIVE] them which persecute you: bless
[PRESENT IMPERATIVE], and curse [PRESENT IMPERATIVE]
not. 15 Rejoice [PRESENT IMPERATIVE] with them that do
rejoice, and weep [PRESENT IMPERATIVE] with them that
weep. 16 . . . Mind [PRESENT IMPERATIVE] not high
things, but condescend [PRESENT IMPERATIVE] to men of
low estate. Be[PRESENT IMPERATIVE] not wise in your
own conceits. 17 Recompense [PRESENT IMPERATIVE]to
no man evil for evil. Provide [PRESENT IMPERATIVE]
things honest in the sight of all men.+++The IMPERATIVE
indicates a command, or a prohibition if "not" is used. A
command is not a wish, a preference or a statement of
hope. A command is an order, and if it is a command of
King Jesus, it is an order He expects us to obey.We have
little problem seeing the imperative commands of the
preceding paragraph for what they are, commands,
orders and instructions from King Jesus, which we are to
obey. There are many commands in the Bible that have
been obscured andweakened by poor translation and
instruction as to the Bible and its Greek. Many of us
misread and misunderstood the commands in 1 Cor 7 for
this reason: 1 Cor 7:" let each have his own wife, . . . . . 3
Let the husband render her due to the wife, . . . . . . . . . .
9 . . . . , let them marry; . . . ". In our unenlightened
and/or untaught thinking, we took those "let" passages to
mean the following: You saints let each have his own
wife, . . . . . 3 You church let the husband render her due
to the wife, . . . . . . . . . . 9 . . . . , you saints of the church
let them marry; . . . We didn't know any better and we
were not taught better.+++We didn't know that "the
English language has . . . no imperative of the third
person. Hence in translating the Greek imperative of the
third person we have to use the helping verb 'let', so that
the noun or pronoun that is the subject of the imperative
in Greek becomes the object of the helping verb 'let' in
English."#1 [#1. P. 180, New Testament Greek; by J. G.
Machen; Macmillan Co.]+++Some modern translations
have more correctly rendered such "let" passages.
Consider the following:7:2. let each have his own
wife, . . . . . (KJV, NKJV, Darby)---"every man should have a
wife of his own" (Williams)---"each man is to have his own
wife" (NASB)---"each man should have his own wife" (NIV.
NLT, NCV)---"every man should have his own wife" (NAB)
7:3 Let the husband render her due to the wife, . . . . (KJV,
NKJV, Darby)---"The husband should give his wife what
she is entitled to in the marriage . . . .
(CompleteJewishBible) ---"The husband must always give
his wife what is due her" (Williams)---"The husband must
fulfill his duty to his wife" (NASB)---"The husband should
fulfill his marital duty y to his wife" (NIV)---"The husband
should not deprive his wife of sexual intimacy" (NLT)
---"The husband should give his wife all that he owes her
as his wife" (NCV)---"The husband should give to his wife
her conjugal rights" (RSV, AB)---"The husband should
fulfill his duty toward his wife" (NAB)---"The husband must
give the wife what is due to her" (NEB)7:9 . . . . , let them
marry; . . .(KJV, NKJV, Darby)---"they should get married."
(Complete Jewish Bible)---"they should marry" (NIV, NCV,
NAB, NEB, AB)---"they should go ahead and marry" (NLT)
---"go ahead and get married" (CEV,---"they should by all
means go ahead and get married" (Message---"get
married" (Beck+++So the passage is much more
correctly understood as saying "2 but because of cases of
immorality every man should be having his own
wife, . . . . .3. The husband should be fulfilling his duty
towards his wife . . . 8 But I say to the unmarried and to
the widows, It is good for them that they remain even as
I. 9. But if they are not exercising self-control, they should
marry. . . ." Recognizing the present tense of the Greek,
the fuller and more exact meaning is as follows: "2 but
because of cases of immorality every man SHOULD BE
HAVING his own wife, . . . . .3. The husband SHOULD BE
FULFILLING his duty toward his wife . . ." +++The active
aorist of verse nine really expands the meaning of the
command. "The aorist is like the imperfect in that it refers
to past time. But the imperfect refers to continuous
action in past time (I was loosing), while the aorist is the
simple past tense (I loosed). . . . But in past time the
distinction is very carefully made; the Greek language
shows no tendency whatever to confuse the aorist with
the imperfect" (pp.81ff; New Testament Greek; by J. G.
Machen; Macmillan Co.). This means that the fuller
meaning of the verse is as follows: "9. but if they are not
exercising self-control they should already be
married. . . . " This means that those unmarried or
widows who were not exercising self-control successfully
should already have remedied the situation by marrying.
The precedent for this in Sinai Law, the Law that Jesus
commanded be kept while He was walking on earth (Mat
23:1-3), is found in Deut 22: 28 "If a man find a damsel, a
virgin, who is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie
with her, and they be found, 29 then the man that lay
with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels
of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has
humbled her; he may not put her away all his days."++
+This makes 1 Cor 7:8,9 more than just a command for
the unmarried or widows who are failing to exercise self-
control. This means that not only are they sinning by
failing to control themselves, it means that they failed to
marry when they failed to exercise self-control, and are
continuing in the double sin of failing to exercise self-
control as well as failing to marry because of their self-
control. Their sin has two aspects, failure to be self-
controlled and failure to have married because of their
self-control. We know that the correct response to such
failure and sin is to agree with Jesus about the sin and
forsake it (1 John 1:7-9; Prov 28:13). We know that
forsaking of the sin is to take the form of the godly sorrow
of 2 Cor 7:11 "For, behold, this same thing, your being
grieved according to God, how much diligence it wrought
in *you*, but what excusing of yourselves, but what
indignation, but what fear, but what ardent desire, but
what zeal, but what vengeance: in every way ye have
proved yourselves to be pure in the matter."+++Jesus,
by His Spirit in Paul, indicated how He wants us grieve
over such sin, so that with diligence, indignation, fear,
ardent desire, zeal, vengeance, and on account of and to
avoid sexual immorality each man would be having his
own wife and each woman would be having her own
husband (1 Cor 7:2; 1 Thess 4:3-8). "9. but if they are not
exercising self-control they should already be
married. . . . ". Jesus solution for avoiding sexual
immorality is not cold showers, fasting, exercising and
praying alone. Jesus ultimate solution for avoiding sexual
immorality is marriage, each man having his own woman
and each woman having her own man. So we see that the
widows and unmarried of 1 Cor 7:8,9 who are failing to
exercise self-control are under command to grieve and
repent with diligence, indignation, fear, ardent desire,
zeal, and vengeance by finally getting married.+++What
does it mean to not be having self-control, to not be
exercising self-control?9* But if they are not
having<5736> control<1467> over themselves, let them
marry; for it is better to marry than to burn.>>>But if
they are not having<5736><<<<<[<5736> Tense -
Present, Voice - Middle or Passive Deponent, Mood -
Indicative, See 5791]///This signifies an act or condition
that is continuing on in thepresent moment, e.g. she is
breathing, she is having fun>>>>>>>control<1467>
over themselves<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<1467
egkrateuomai, middle voice; v1) to be self-controlled,
continent1a) to exhibit self-government, conduct, one's
self temperately1b) in a figure drawn from athletes, who
in preparing themselvesfor the games abstained from
unwholesome food, wine, andsexual indulgenceBut if
they are not having<5736> control<1467> over
themselves, . . . ---------------- being continent . . . .
-----------------exhibiting self-government . . . . . ----------------
abstaining from sex . . . . . . ///Having control over oneself
is continuing in union with Jesus, keeping on in practicing
and living in His will, continuing to act righteously. Not
having control over oneself is failing to continue in union
with Jesus, failing to keep on practicing and living in His
will, failing to continue to act righteously.This is the point
where one knows he/she is not having control over
oneself, and must call on Jesus (Rm 10:17) to be saved
from the sin, agreeing with Jesus about one's sin (1Jn1:9),
and yielding oneself to Jesus for Him to work and will
Godly sorrow and repentance of the sin (Ph 2:13;4:13;Heb
13:20,21; Prov 28:13; 2 Cor 7). Part of the repentance
and godly sorrow (2Cor7) is to obey the command to get
married to deal with the problem. Why is such repentance
so important? One has lost control of oneself and is
snared (2Tim2:22-26) in sin when one habitually falls out
of union with Jesus, practicing and living sin.1 John 3:6 No
one who continues in union with Him keeps on practicing
and living in sin: no one who keeps on living in sin has
seen Him or knows Him. 7 Dear children, let no one lead
you astray. The man who continues acting righteously,
practicing righteousness, is righteous, just as He is
righteous. 8 He who is habitually practicing and living in
sin is a child of the Devil, . . . . 9 No one who is a child of
God habitually practices and lives in sin. A God-given
germ of life remains in him, and he cannot habitually sin--
because he is a child of God. 10 By this we can
distinguish God’s children and the Devil’s children: no one
who keeps on failing to act righteously is a child of God,
nor he who does not keep on loving his brother man. 1
John 3 WEY+TCNT+DBYThere is Scriptural precedent for
widows being commandedto remarry in the Lord.***Dt
25:5 ¶ If brethren dwell together, and one of them die,
and have no son, the wife of the dead shall not marry a
stranger abroad: her husband’s brother shall go in unto
her, and take her to him as wife, and perform the duty of
a husband’s brother unto her.So is it any surprise that we
find in the New Covenant theexpression of God's will that
younger widows remarry.***1Cor 7:8 But I say to the
unmarried and to the widows<5503>, It is good for them
that they remain even as I. 9. 9. but if they do not
exercise self-control they should marry; for it is better to
marry than to burn.1 Tim 5:11 But the younger <3501>
widows <5503> you must not enrol; for as soon as they
begin to chafe against the yoke of Christ, they want to
marry, 12 and they incur disapproval for having broken
their original vow. 13 And at the same time they also
learn to be idle as they go round from house to house;
and they are not only idle, but are gossips also and
busybodies, speaking of things that ought not to be
spoken of. 14 I will <1014> therefore that the
younger<3501> [widows] marry, bear children, rule in
domestic matters, and furnish the Adversary with no
excuse for slander. 1014 boulomai, middle voice; v1) to
will deliberately, have a purpose, be minded2) of willing
as an affection, to desireSo v. 14 means----------14.
therefore I deliberately will that the younger widows
marry14. therefore I desire that the younger widows
marryIs this Paul speaking for himself, speaking only his
own personal desire?We know that ALL Scripture is
inspired by God, and that 1 Tim 5:14 IS SCRIPTURE
INSPIRED BY GOD.***2Tim3:16 Every scripture is divinely
inspired, and profitable for teaching, for conviction, for
correction, for instruction in righteousness;***2Sa 23:2
The Spirit of Jehovah spoke by me, And his word was on
my tongue.***Mt 22:31 But concerning the resurrection of
the dead, have ye not read what was spoken to you by
God, . .***Mr 12:36 for David himself said speaking in the
Holy Spirit, The Lord said to my Lord, Sit on my right hand
until I put thine enemies as footstool of thy feet.***Ac
1:16 Brethren, it was necessary that the scripture should
have been fulfilled, which the Holy Spirit spoke before, by
the mouth of David, concerning Judas, who became guide
to those who took Jesus;***Ac 28:25 And being disagreed
among themselves they left; Paul having spoken one
word, Well spoke the Holy Spirit through Esaias the
prophet to our fathers,We know that ALL Scripture is
inspired by God, and that 1 Tim 5:14 IS SCRIPTURE
INSPIRED BY GOD,NOT BY THE WILL OF PAUL. Paul
uttered His Spirit filled and led desire and deliberate will
that the younger widows marry, uttering his will under
the power of the Holy Spirit.***2Pe 1:21 for prophecy was
not ever uttered by the will of man, but holy men of God
spake under the power of the Holy Spirit.Paul made it
clear that his word, written under the power of the Holy
Spirit, was to be obeyed. Surely this includes all his
inspried words, including those of that he deliberately
willed that younger widows remarry.***2Th 3:14* But if
any one obey not our word by the letter, mark that man,
and do not keep company with him, that he may be
ashamed of himself;Under the power of the Holy Spirit,
Paul wrote that as Jesus messenger, he was to be
voluntarily obeyed. That would include his inspired
deliberate will that younger widows marry.***Heb 13:17
Obey your leaders, and be submissive; for *they* watch
over your souls as those that shall give account; that they
may do this with joy, and not groaning, for this would be
unprofitable for you.When Paul wrote 1 Tim 5:14, he and
the other Apostles were all obeying Jesus' command (Mt
23:2,3) to keep the Sinai Law (not for salvation but to
honor the covenant of their ancestors at Sinai, to obey
Jesus' command [Matt23:2,3], and to be walking orderly
[Acts 15 & 21:17-24---- only the nonJews were freed from
having to keep the Law of Sinai]).That means that when 1
Timothy and Acts were written, if a reborn in Jesus
daughter of Israel became a widow, she and the brother
of her former husband were under the command of King
Jesus to marry.Deut 25:5 ¶ If brethren dwell together, and
one of them die, and have no son, the wife of the dead
shall not marry a stranger abroad: her husband’s brother
shall go in unto her, and take her to him as wife, and
perform the duty of a husband’s brother unto her.///What
does it mean to not be having godly self-control over
myself?1 Cor 7:9* But if they are not having control over
themselves, they are >>>commanded to marry<5657
Tense - Aorist, Voice - Active, Mood - Imperative See
5794>;<<<<<<<<<<<for it is better to marry than to
burn.///Sure the Bible tells us of the beauty of Godly
sexual relations in marriage in the Song of Solomon, but
does the Bible tell us today what sex sin is?Carefully and
prayerfully read Prov. ch. 5, ch. 6, ch 7;Ezekiel ch 16, ch
23; Romans 1; 1 Cor ch. 5, ch. 6, ch. 7;1 Tim 1. Also see
Lev 18 and 20.///It is foreign and alien to the Scriptures
that a man must have the financial resources to take one
wife. There is no Scripture that requires this. Yes there is
the injunction of 1 Tim 5 and 2 Th 3- - - - - - - - - "8 But if a
man makes no provision for those dependent on him, and
especially for his own family, he has disowned the faith
and is behaving worse than an unbeliever." WEY" 6* ¶
Now we enjoin you, brethren, in the name of our Lord
Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw from every brother walking
disorderly and not according to the instruction which he
received from us. 7 For ye know yourselves how ye ought
to imitate us, because we have not walked disorderly
among you; 8 nor have we eaten bread from any one
without cost; . . . 10 For also when we were with you we
enjoined you this, that if any man does not like to work,
neither let him eat. 11 For we hear that there are some
walking among you disorderly, not working at all, but
busybodies. 12 Now such we enjoin and exhort in the
Lord Jesus Christ, that working quietly they eat their own
bread.- - - - - - - - - but as long as he/she is able to work
and is working, that provision may only be a large
cardboard box, two sleeping bags, second hand charity
clothing, with only rice, beans and eggs to eat. That is
provision, for the Spirit declares" 6 ¶ But piety with
contentment *is* great gain. 7 For we have brought
nothing into the world: it is manifest that neither can we
carry anything out. 8 But having sustenance and
covering, we will be content with these." 1 Tim 6///Surely
in Ex 21:7-11 Jesus makes it clear that before a man
voluntarily took a second wife in polygyny, he must have
been able to provide certain things for his second wife, or
she was free to leave him for failing to be husband to her.
It is quite different in the case of a single man, or in the
case of mandatory marriage.Dt. 22:28 If a man find a
damsel, a virgin, who is not betrothed, and lay hold on
her, and lie with her, and they be found, 29* then the
man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father
fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because
he hath humbled her; he may not put her away all his
days. ***Dt. 25:5 ¶ If brethren dwell together, and one of
them die, and have no son, the wife of the dead shall not
marry a stranger abroad: her husband’s brother shall go
in unto her, and take her to him as wife, and perform the
duty of a husband’s brother unto her.///There is no
requirement that he have the financial resources before
he can claim her as his wife. Even if he doesn't have the
50 shekels at the time, it stands against him as a
legitimate debt until paid.Ex 22:16* ¶ And if a man
seduce a virgin that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he
shall certainly endow her, to be his wife. 17 If her father
utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall weigh money
according to the dowry of virgins. ///There is no
requirement that he have the financial resources before
he can claim her as his wife. Even if he doesn't have the
dowry at the time, it stands against him as a legitimate
debt until paid.///If they were as poor as church mice and
maritally covenanted/betrothed like Mary and Joseph in
Matt 1, then as in Matt 1 they are considered husband
and wife according to the SpiritMatt 1: 18* ¶ Now the
birth of Jesus Christ was thus: His mother, Mary, that is,
having been BETROTHED to Joseph, before they came
together, she was found to be with child of the Holy Spirit.
19 But Joseph, her HUSBAND, being a righteous man, and
unwilling to expose her publicly, purposed to have put her
away secretly; 20 but while he pondered on these things,
behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream,
saying, Joseph, son of David, fear not to take to thee
Mary, thy WIFE, for that which is begotten in her is of the
Holy Spirit.///Even in the case of mandatory marriage (1
Cor 7:9) in the Church age, when one comes under
command to marry, one must marry no matter what may
be the financial capabilities of those marrying.1Cor 7:8
But I say to the unmarried and to the widows, It is good
for them that they remain [unmarried] even as I. 9 But if
they are not having [enough] control over themselves [to
keep from sinning sexually once in a while], THEY ARE
UNDER COMMAND TO MARRY; for it is better to marry
than to burn.Jas 4:17 To him therefore who knows how to
do good [BY MARRYING], and does it not, to him it is sin.
///OKAY, OKAY, OKAY!!!! I GET IT!!!!! OKAY????!!! So I'm
under command to get married? Alright already I WANT
to getmarried and I'm willing to get married, BUT TO
WHOM??????????!!!!!!!!! THERE'S NO LINE OF
CANDIDATES AT MYDOOR TRYING TO BREAK IT DOWN TO
MARRY ME!!!!! ///Calmate niño, por favor. Believers are
not to marry unbelievers (2Cor 6 & Malachi 2). Believers
are not to marrypeople who call themselves believers, or
who are called believers, who are living in sin, habitually
sinning, continuing on in disobedience to Jesus (1 Cor 5; 2
Thes 3). Believers are to marry people who continue
acting righteously according to the Word of God,
continually and habitually practice righteousness, even
though they screw up and stumble once in a while.Jesus
has promised to meet the need for a marital partner since
He has commanded it (Ph 4:19), but for Jesus to meet
that need a believer in need of marriage must come to
the place that Jesus was in in the Garden, and say "Not
my will in this matter, but Your will in this matter be
done", "Not the one I want, but the one You want, Lord."
Like I told the prisoners in chapel, until you are ready to
accept WHOEVER HE GIVES to be your marital partner ----
whether she/he be 350 lbs overweight, so skinny you can
see where each of her ribs are, blind, deaf, cerebral
palsied, quadraplegic, toothless, bald, scarred, tattoed,
missing body parts, poor and living in a card board box,
on welfare, an excon, of the "wrong" race, of the "wrong"
ethnicity, of the "wrong" social class, uneducated,
unacceptable to your folks, undereducated, under
employed -------- you aren't ready to receive the one He
may give to you. If He really is your Lord/King, then you
will want the one He wants for you, not the one you want
for yourself. When you are really ready to receive ------
ASK AND KEEP ON ASKING HIM FOR THAT ONE --- "22 And
whatsoever we may [ habitually, continually and
presently keep on] asking for, we receive of him, because
we [habitually, continually and presently keep on]
observing his commandments, and [habitually,
continually and presently keep on] doing those things
that are pleasing in his sight." 1 JN 3