Respectable Sins: Impatience, Irritability, Anger and Weeds of Anger

Impatience and Irritability

Definition

Impatience is a strong sense of annoyance at the (usually) unintentional faults and failures of
others. It is often expressed verbally in a way that tends to humiliate the person (or persons) who
is the object of impatience. It is a response.

The actual cause of our impatience lies within our own hears, in our own attitude of insisting that
others around us conform to our expectations.

What are the common things that tests your patience? Identify recurring situations in your life
that tempt you to become impatient.

Some common causes:

 Having to explain things more than once
 Slow serve due to the thoughtlessness of another person
 Those with whom we work do not progress

We need to acknowledge and repent of our impatience as sin.

Exhortations of Paul in several letters to be patient

1Cor 13, the great love chapter. He leads off the description of love, by saying, it is patient.

Galatians 5:22-23, patience is one of the fruits of the holy spirit.

Ephesians 4:1-2, paul urges us to live our lives with patience

Colossians 3:12, we are to put on patience.

Patience is something we cultivate.

Impatience is a sin that must be put to death.

Irritability describes the frequency of impatience, or the ease with which a person can become
impatient over the slightest provocation.

What about if you are the frequent subject of another person’s impatience? How should you
respond?

Biblically you have two options:

Follow the example of Jesus, in 1 Peter 2:23 – Jesus did not retaliate but instead committed
Himself to the Father who will judge righteously.
Confront the person who is continually impatient towards you and point out to the person
examples of his or her impatience. But this should be done only when you have resolved the
issue in your own heart and can speak to the other person for his or her benefit, not just to make
your own life pleasant.

Following Jesus requires a firm belief in the sovereignty of God in every situation of your life.
God is likely using this person’s sinful action to help you grown in the biblical virtues of
patience and meekness (Moses, Numbers 12:1-3)

Anger

Definition- it is a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism often accompanied by

sinful emotions, words, and actions hurtful to those who are the objects of a person’s anger.

Righteous Anger – (self controlled, arises from an accurate perception of evil, focuses on God
and His will)

How to know if its righteous anger? 2 test

1st: Do we perceive the action of another as true evil that is a violation of God’s moral law?
It arises from an accurate perception of true evil – that is, as a violation of God’s moral law. We
are concerned about God and His will. It focuses on God and His will, not on me and my will.

2nd: Are you in control when you are angry? It is always self-controlled. It never causes one to
lose his temper or retaliate in some vengeful way.

Conclusion of Two Tests: By employing these two test, you will know if you’re anger is
righteous anger. Even if we are “reacting to another person’s real sin and if we saw the we are
more concerned with the negative impact of the sinful actions on us than we are that it is a
violation of God’s law, then this is not righteous anger.

Example of Righteous Anger- Jesus cleansing the temple. John 2: 13-17; Mark 11:15-17

Applying the 2 test, we can see the following:

Jesus had a valid concern for the Lord’s will- He did not want the temple to be a den of robbers,
but a house of prayer.
Jesus did not retaliate in a vengeful way
Jesus was self-controlled
Jesus did not lose His temper

Questions for Reflection

1. Can you think of sins others commit that would cause us to be more
concerned with the negative impact on us than on God?
2. Have you ever used others violation of God’s law as a way to justify your
own sinful anger?

Sinful Anger- our sinful reactions to other people’s action or words. (the main focus of the
Bible’s teaching)

What is the cause of Sinful Anger?

Basic principle No. 1: In facing up to our anger, we need to realize that No one else causes
us to be angry.

The actions or words of others are just an occasion for anger to surface, but the cause lies deep
within us- usually our pride, or selfishness, or desire to be in control.

Example: You agreed to do something for a friend, and then you forgot to do it. When your
failure came to light, he became quite angry with you. Why did he become upset? It was because
your failure had made him look bad in front of some of his friends. This is not to excuse your
forgetfulness and the real fact that you had put him in an awkward situation. But the cause of his
anger was not your failure but his pride.

What is the cause of his anger? Pride- made him look bad in front of his friends.

Example 2: You hear that someone in the church gossiping about you. When you found out who,
you approach that person, but instead of approaching them lovingly, you blew up and yelled.

What is the cause of anger? Pride which results from your character and reputation being
questioned.

What does this tell us? It simply tell us that our anger, while provoked by others, is not
ultimately caused by them. It is caused by our own sinfulness. As well as we learn there are
underlying sins- control, selfishness, and pride. It is appropriate to restrain ourselves when
provoked, but if we want to kill the sin of anger, we must deal with these other sins as well.

At the end of the day, we choose how we will respond to the sinful actions of others towards us.

Question for Reflection

1. What often causes you to become angry? Is it a desire to be in control,
selfishness, or pride?

How to Respond when Others Sin Against Us

We can:
1) Get Angry
2) We can respond by being mindful of God

Peter’s words to slaves in the first-century churches, who often served under cruel and unjust
masters. According to much present-day thinking they would be justified in their anger, but here
are peter’s words to them

1 Peter 2:18-20

Peter’s instructions to slaves are a specific application of a broader scriptural principle: We are to
respond to any unjust treatment as “mindful of God.” To be mindful of God means to think of
God’s will and God’s glory.

What does it mean to be mindful of God?

It means that we are to think of God’s will and His glory instead of our will and our glory.
Instead of getting angry and blowing up on another, we relax, take a deep breath, and think about
our Christian witness. In order to do this we have to see God’s glory as more important than our
own.

Admittedly, keeping God’s glory supreme is difficult. To keep ourselves mindful of God,
remember these questions:

How would God have me respond in this situation? How can I best glorify God by my response?
Do I believe that this difficult situation or this unjust treatment is under the sovereign control of
God and that in His wisdom and goodness He is using these difficult circumstances to conform
me more to the likeness of Christ? (Romans 8:28, Hebrews 12:4-11)

To be realistic, it would be hard to go over this checklist in the middle of an emotional heat of a
tense situation, BUT we ought to develop a habit of thinking this way.

Allow the Holy Spirit to dissolve your anger.

There are so many circumstances or actions that tempt us to be angry. But they can never cause
us to be angry. The cause always lies within our hearts, usually as a result of pride or selfishness.

The issue is really how to handle it.

Some people tend to externalize their anger in strong, usually hurtful language, or belittling or
making sarcastic comments.
Internalize anger in the form of resentment.
 So how do we handle our anger in a God-honoring way?
Recognize and acknowledge our anger and the sinfulness of it.
We cannot deal with angel until we acknowledge its presence.
Then ask yourselves why did you became angry
Was it because of pride, selfishness or some idol of the heart you are protecting?
Repent.

After dealing with the expression of our anger through Recognition and Repentance, we need to
change our attitude toward the person or persons whose words or actions triggered our anger.

Ephesians 4:32
Colossians 3:13

Hand over to God the occasion of our anger.

Any given situation that tempts us to anger can drive us either to sinful anger or to Christ and His
sanctifying power.

By being mindful of God, we can better deal with our anger when others sin against us. So the
next time you are tempted to blow up on another, keep your witness and God’s glory in mind.

Question for Reflection

1. Are you mindful of God when others sins against you?
2. Do you have God’s glory in mind or your own pride?
3. Can you think of a situation where you were mindful of God and it
served as an effective witness?

Anger Toward God

God has let them down in some way

God is actually against them

What are we to say to people who are desperately hurting and feel that God has let them down or
is even against them?

Can we be angry at God?

The author states that it is never okay to be angry at God. Anger is a moral judgment, and in the
case pf God, it accuses Him of wrong doing. It accuses God of sinning against us by neglecting
us or in some way treating us unfairly.

How can we deal with our temptation to be angry at God? Must we “stuff” our feelings and live
in some degree of alienation? No

Trust in his sovereignty, wisdom and love of God.

Bring our confusion and perplexity to God in a humble, trusting way.
Pray

God I know that You love me, and I also know that Your ways are often beyond my
understanding. I admit I am confused at this time because I do not see the evidence of Your love
toward me. Help me, by the power of your spirit to trust You and not give in to temptation to be
angry at God.

God is a forgiving God. Even our anger toward Him was paid for Christ in His death on the
cross.

“A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”
Proverbs 15:1 NLT
https://www.bible.com/116/pro.15.1.nlt

ANGER: AN EMOTION TO CONTROL

An emotion if not controlled, can control us. It has destroyed homes, relationships and left a mark of

bitterness. Sometimes we are unable to give a soft answer; we match anger with anger, tone with tone.

The one who is louder is not always the winner.

Many things can provoke us to anger - people at home, delays in our life, situations, people who we work

with. Very often our anger is because the self is affected. But when we give a soft answer it is so different.

(Proverbs 25:15). A soft answer is never a sign of weakness. When we do not react in anger, the person

and the situation might remain but we will not be the same.

Some people are angry with anything or everyone. Whatever we say upsets them. It is important for us to

stand at the foot of the Cross and ask ourselves why we get angry with people and with situations. The
Lord endured pain, ridicule and separation from His loved ones, yet, he had words of forgiveness: Father

forgive them for they know not what they do.

What does anger do?

 Robs us of our peace

 Disfigures our face (Cain's countenance had fallen)

 Isolates us from others

 Make us snap at every situation

 Makes us difficult to live with

If people everywhere do not understand us, the problem is not with the people. It is with us. We can give

excuses for our anger saying it is genetic. But the Bible does not accept any excuse.

What should we do? How can we overcome anger?

 Let us thank God for all situations. Situations need not happen the way we want them to happen.

 Accept that people are different. If the entire world is like us, it will be a boring place to live in.

Thank God there is variety in the world - different people from whom we can learn.

 Remember, we are the offended one because we carry this bitterness and anger throughout the

day.

 Expression of anger leaves a deep impression of negativism about us in others.

 Leave our anger in the control and hands of God rather than using it as an excuse.

Others cannot change but we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Even if someone hurts

us or gets on our nerves, it is always good to thank God for the opportunity to be like Christ. Being like
Him in tough situations is difficult. If we are struggling with this, it is good to look at the Cross and look at

the way Jesus handled it. We are not dealing with perfect people or situations. But, we have a perfect

God who will lead us towards perfection. Let there be forgiveness and love. Let us be pleasant people

who will pass on this love to one another.

For every minute we are angry, we lose sixty seconds of happiness.

Weeds of Anger (Long Term Results of Anger)

Anger is never static. If it is not dealt with, it will grow into bitterness, hostility, and revenge-
minded grudges.
Long term, unresolved anger creates many weeds that poisons us.

Ephesians 4:26 – Paul is not granting permission to be angry. Paul is talking about how we
should handle our anger. Get over it quickly. He instructs us to deal with our anger swiftly.
Because of we harbor anger, it can lead to greater sin.

Resentment- is anger held on to. Most often anger is internalized. (Unable to express it).
It arises in the heart of a person who is ill-treated in some way but who does not feel in a position
to do anything about it.

Employee may feel ill-treated by his boss but doesn’t dare react in an outwardly angry fashion,
so he internalizes it in the form of resentment.

Resentment is difficult than outwardly expressed anger because the person often continues to
nurse his wounds and swell on his ill-treatment.

Bitterness is resentment that has grown into a feeling of ongoing animosity. It is more long-term
reaction to a wrong when the initial anger is not dealt with.

I’ve forgiven him but I don’t want anything to do with that person.

True forgiveness results in a restored relationship, not continuing animosity.

A bitter person is someone who sees only the actual wrong and continues to dwell on that.

Enmity and Hostility – expressed openly by hateful speech.

Grudge – taking revenge

Strife describes open conflict or turmoil between parties, usually between opposing groups.
Feuds between family
How can we deal with these weeds?

1st: Always look to the sovereignty of God. (Firm Belief)

God doesn’t cause people to sin against us, but He does allow it, and it is always allowed for a
purpose- most often our own growth in Christlikeness.

Genesis 45:8 – When Joseph was grievously sinned against by his own brothers and sold into
slavery, he did not become bitter. Instead he could say to his brothers, “It was not you who sent
me here, but God.”

Joseph never became bitter. He in fact did his work well and was so well he even received fabor.

Having a firm belief in the sovereignty of God is our first defense against a temptation to allow
anger to linger in our mind and emotions.

To deal with temptation, you have to actively call to mind that the actions of another person that
triggered your initial response of anger are under the sovereign control of God. Though the
actions may be sinful in themselves, God intends them for your good. (Genesis 50:20)

The good here is the opportunity to grown in Christlikeness. God may also have other ends in
view, perhaps to prepare us in some way for greater usefulness. Or we may never know what
God brought out of a specific situation where we are tempted to become angry.

But it is enough to know that however difficult the situation, and however strong the resultant
temptation to become angry, God intends good.

2nd: Pray that God will enable us to grow in love. (Diligent Pursuit of Brotherly Love that covers
a multitude of sins and does not keep a record of wrongs)
1 Peter 4:8 – This verse tell us to love toward fellow believers.

Love encompasses a lot of things. And it includes that Love enables us to overlook a lot of sinful
actions of other people.

We are to love one another earnestly that is, we are to pursue it diligently. (overlooking an
offense doesn’t just happen overnight. It comes as we pursue it diligently)

Love is also not easily angered (1 Cor 13:5)

Sinful words do hurt, especially if they come from someone close to us, but we can choose
whether or not they make us angry.

Love keeps no records of wrong

Tendency to rehearse in your mind old hurts that occurred months or maybe even years ago.
You are simply feeding your bitterness. To keep no record of wrong means we cease to bring
them up to ourselves or to another party. It does not mean we erase the hurt from our minds. It
means we don’t actively keep bringing it up and feeding on ot.

3rd: Learn to forgive as God has forgiven you.

Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:21-35)

V21 – How often do we have to forgive?

This doesn’t speak directly to the number of times we are to forgive, but to the basis of WHY we
ought to forgive one another.

The parable tells of a king’s servant who owed the king 10,000 talents. A talent was 6,000
denarii. The servant owed the equivalent of 200,000 years of wages for the typical laborer. Jesus
kind of exaggerated the amount here (immense sum of money)

The servant begged for patience on the part of the king to give him time to repay what he owed.
So the king took pity on him and forgave the debt.

Then this servant went away from the king’s presence and found a fellow servant who owed him
100 hundred- about 1/3 of a year’s wages. This second servant also pleaded for patience, but the
servant who had just been forgiven refused and committed him to prison.

A comparison between the 2 servants: amount of debt

Over six billion dollars and 10-15 thousand dollars

What are the significance of the amounts:

First sum of money represents our moral and spiritual debt to God.

Though in the master/servant world of that day, 6-8 billion dollars is an immense sum of money
(impossible to pay). It is an accurate representation of our debt to God. Regardless of how moral
and spiritual we have been, the debt of our sin is enormous. The damage to God’s glory by our
sin is determined not by the severity of our sin but by the value of God’s glory.

If I spill black ink on a rug na binili lang sa divisoria – you would feel bad. But if I spill the same
ink on a very expensive Persian rug – that’s really bad. Why? It ‘s the same act and the same ink,
but the value of the 2 rugs are different. The extent of the damage is not by the size of the ink
blot but the respective value of each of them

This is how we should think of our sin against God. Every sin we commit, regardless of how
insignificant it seems to us, is an assault on His infinite glory. So we are all represented by the
first servant who owed ten thousand talents. Our debt to God is utterly unpayable.
How about the king? What happened to the billions of dollars the first servant owed? The
moment the King forgave the debt, his net worth was reduced. It cost the king tremendously to
forgive his servant’s debt.

In the same manner, it cost God to forgive us. It cost Him the death of His Son. No proce can be
put on that death, but God paid it so He could forgive each of us of the enormous spiritual debt
we owed to Him.

The moral debt of wrongdoing, of sinful words and acts against us, is virtually nothing compared
to our debt to God.

The basis of to forgive others, especially those who have hurt us, is the enormity of God’s
forgiveness of us. We are to forgive because we have been forgiven so much. (Debtors din tayo
kay God)

WHERE DO WE GO GROM HERE?

Take Test

Progressive Sanctification – putting off sin and putting on Christlikeness.

2 Foundations: Righteousness of Christ and Power of the Holy Spirit

Always look to Christ and His perfect righteousness for your standing and your acceptableness to
God.

If you are united in Christ, God sees you clothed in His perfect righteousness. Always look to the
Holy Spirit to enable you to deal with your sin in your life and to produce in you the fruits of the
Holy Spirit,

Where do we go from here?

1.     How do we develop a deeper affection for God?

a.     Increase your awareness of our still-remaining sinfulness and of Christ’s love
for us in dying for that sin.
b.     We need to remember who we once were and who we are now by the grace
of God.
c.      This is one of the biggest reasons I love the Puritan Prayers I read on Sunday
mornings and why I found them important enough to read.  They were keenly
aware of their own sinfulness and the grace of God that rescued them from sin
and death and it changed their lives.  We have largely forgotten our sin and the
depth of its depravity and therefore have lost the affection of God for our
salvation because it is not as great in our minds as it is in reality. 
d.     Luke 7:36-50
 e.     We need to grow in our awareness of Christ’s love for us revealed in the
gospel.  When we have become aware of this, this love will constrain us (2
Corinthians 5:14-15) and propel us to love God more and seek his glory as the
end goal of our lives. 
f.       We need to PRAY over these respectable sins and identify which ones are
present in our lives, to what degree they are present, repent of those sins, and
allow God to progressively work in our lives, removing them from us. 
g.     Ask others who know us well, who would be godly and humble about it, to
help reveal to us areas of our life we need to repent of and work on.

Took

1.     Prayerfully ask God to reveal areas of your life that you need to repent of
“respectable sins.”
2.     Repent of these sins.
3.     Seek accountability and support in the journey of sanctification.
4.     Seek to bring all thinking and desires in line with scripture and seek to please God in
all you do.
5.     Remember who you once were and who God has made you to be.
6.     Make it your goal and intent to increase your love for God and consider how your life
can and should be different as a result.