Full Name: Japhet Grace G.

Moleta
Email address: japhetmoleta@gmail.com
Profession/Work: Children’s Rights Educator/ Advocacy Program Officer, CAMELEON
Association Inc. (Philippines)
Type of Questionnaire: For Teachers/Social Workers/Psychology & MSW
Students/Counselor/School Heads/Educators

ANSWERS

DAY 1- SPEAKER: FEATHER BERKOWER

What are the 3 barriers to child sexual assault prevention?

The three barriers to prevention of Child Sexual Assault are Ignorance, Denial and Discomfort.
Ignorance- Some parents and adults do not know how to start or introduce to children how they
could protect themselves from sexual assault or abuse. Others who are victims do not also know
the language on how to start talking about this. There are children who are innocent that they do
not know that they are already victims. We encountered real cases and known real stories. A father
abused sexually her own daughter and repeatedly told her that it is the “normal way” for a father
to express his love to a daughter. Another example is an 11-year-old girl who was brought by an
out-of-school youth to an abandoned house and was told that they will play “virgin-virgin”. Later
on, it was known that the girl was already abused sexually.
Denial- Child sexual abuse do exist but a lot still considers this as something that should not be
discussed as they try to inculcate in their minds that child this could not and will not happen to
their children or family members.
Discomfort- There are adults who believe that child sexual abuse is only for private conversations
and they should neither be discussed nor faced as it is. With this, they are trying to develop a kind
tolerance to this form of violence as they prefer to be silent.

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What two actions can adults take to keep children safe from sexual assault?
There are two actions that can be done by parents and adults in order to keep their children or
family members safe from sexual assault:
a. Parents/adults have to educate themselves
b. Parents/adults need to educate their children.
We have to know these reasons that make children vulnerable. Children who are vulnerable are
those who are not aware. There are children who are not educated about their bodies, who lacks
self-confidence, who usually keeps secrets, who do not know the anatomically correct terms of
their genitals or are not properly educated about sexual development or health. Other vulnerable
children are those who spend a lot of time alone, have physical or mental disabilities or those who
are told to obey authority without exception. Some persons of authorities uses their power for
sexual gratification and they prey on children.
Children whose parents are not informed are also prone to sexual assault. Basically, their parents
or guardians are not educating them because they themselves lack understanding about this reality.
In our country, Philippines, some mothers are not with their children due to their work in other
places and the need for greener pasture. There are cases in which children were abused sexually
because of the absence of their mothers or parents who are supposed to protect and care for them.

What is a Prevention Team™ of Caregivers and how does building a Prevention Team™ help
reduce the risk of child sexual assault?
A Prevention Team is a group in which all the caregivers, parents and adults have conversations
about the child’s body safety rules. Building this team is a cornerstone of child sexual assault
prevention.
According to a research of an international organization Save the Children, involvement of
families and communities in child protection is vital even when there are presence of adequate and
operational child protection services and structures. Parents and adults who are caring for children
are in the best position to identify child protection issues in their homes or localities and can
develop the most appropriate solutions.
Parents and adults also need to collaborate with individuals who are part and can create impact in
the child’s life by inviting more people to be involved in this group. They can discuss things openly
and think of solutions for the best interests of children. They can also share ideas and clarify
concerns through regular discussions on how they can further protect children. These teams should
send a strong message to others or possible sexual offenders that their children are OFF LIMITS
to child sexual assault.

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Parents or adults have to do something to ensure that the rights of children are respected. They
should be in the frontline of child protection.

DAY 2- SPEAKER: HOLLY-ANN MARTIN

Why is it important for children to recognize their Early Warning Signs?

It is important for children to recognize Early Warning Signs because they can serve as “red flags”
that the child is in danger or unsafe and help is needed. Early warning signs may include wide
eyes, beads of sweat, red cheeks, goosebumps, heart beating fast, butterflies in the tummy,
clenched fists, jelly legs, headache and crying or sweaty armpits. It has to be inculcated in the
minds of children that once they are experiencing these signs, they must ask help from an adult
whom they trust until their warning signs go away and they feel better again. On the other hand,
adults must also learn to identify these signs because some children may not be able to express
what they feel.
We also have to consider that it may be challenging to spot child sexual abuse cases because
perpetrators may find ways to groom the child so that the abuse will be hidden. Adults should also
be observant, should listen to their instincts, must need to activate their senses and ensure open
communication to children.
Some kids might be “showing” instead of telling adults that something wrong is happening. Every
behavior has a meaning and parents and adults should be keen in identifying signs.

Why is it so important to teach children to persist when seeking help about not feeling safe or if
they have been sexually abused?
It is so important to teach children to persist when seeking help about not feeling safe or if they
have been sexually abused because there are children who may not get the help that they need
during the first time that they tell someone. Most especially in cases of incest, some adults may
use denial as form of defense mechanism and may not believe that the child is telling the truth and
instead claim that the child is just having wild imaginations. Children have to be informed that
when the persons whom they asked help from do not help them, they need to persist in telling until
someone listens and help them stop that bad thing from happening.
Furthermore, adults may react negatively and be emotional when they are informed that their
children are abused. Some common reactions are anger, anxiety, fear, sadness or shock. There are
no right or wrong reactions but they have to put in mind that children may get strength from them
and if they express negatively those who are abused may think that they are to be blamed because

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the adult whom they trust got angry or was shocked. Parents or adults must find ways to control
their reactions in such a way that they will not interfere with the welfare of the child.

Why do we need to speak with children about pornography from such an early age?

We need to talk about pornography with children at an early age because social media and internet
are part of their lives and wrong messaging could confuse them if they are not guided. Even with
safety internet devices, the internet world can expose and give access for young people to contents
that are sexually explicit. Whether we like it or not, there are tendencies for children to encounter
sexually themed advertisements and internet pop up messages online. We also have to take note
that pornography may not be discussed in schools and before children will be misled, adults have
to take actions.

Pornography are usually aimed to make people who are looking at it aroused. For younger children,
seeing this can make them feel uncomfortable, upset or confused. Moreover, porn can send
negative messages such as mutual consent and safe sex are not necessary, loving relationships are
not important or it is normal to do violent acts and aggressive behaviors towards women and other
individuals.

Prevention should be made early in the lives of young people so that they can be empowered on
how they can further protect themselves, think critically and make decisions. Parents are not with
their children all the time. Along this line, it is a must for children to be aware of this reality and
to be guided as they make decisions in preventing themselves from being victimized. Children
have to participate in matters concerning their welfare.

It is vital for parents to think ahead and find ways to discuss this matter with their children.

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DAY 3- SPEAKER: ABOLAJI GBADAMOSE

Mention 5 criteria recommended for a good conversation with children

Conversations provide venues for children to express their thoughts, resolve confusions, learn or
even ask help from adults. It could be one on one or in groups.
There are 5 criteria that are recommended for good conversations with children. These
conversations have to be meaningful, healthy, helpful (supportive), empathetic and inspirational.

Meaningful conversations can be done by using open-ended questions to challenge children to

really think while they say their thoughts. These questions must not answerable by a “yes” or a
“no”. We can also ask them how they feel and what could be the reasons why certain things happen.
Through this, they can express the things within them or share their opinions.

Healthy conversations can be made by adults to children. It depends on the topics or themes that
they will be talking. It is a must to consider that children are like sponges that could absorb the
things around them. Adults could influence children and should serve as models.
As children grow, they need support not judgements. The things that are happening around them
can affect their lives forever. Imagine a child who grew up in an environment filled with violence.
He or she may also hurt others thinking that these are good and should be done to others as well
Empathetic conversations can be very encouraging for young people. Adults should get into their
world in order to fully understand them. In a world where children usually receive judgements,
there is a need for more empathetic adults.
Inspirational conversations are important. Most young people are eager to learn from the
experiences of others and they should be inspired to become better versions of themselves.

What can you do to make children a more difficult target for perpetrators?
There are things that could be done to make children a more difficult target for perpetrators.
By taking active interest in what is going on in the children’s life, they will feel important, valued
and affirmed. We have to take note that some perpetrators enter into the lives of their victims by
making them feel valued and important. The affirmations and time may not be given by parents.
With this, abusers use this loophole to get what they want from children.

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By being highly effective instructors in protecting behaviors of children, we can play a big role in
child sexual abuse prevention. Protective behaviors may not be discussed in schools and those
young people who are abused do not know who can support them and might develop learned
helplessness. Adults need to take active part in educating and empowering children to protect
themselves.
There are systems that shape the lives of children-their upbringing or the way they were raised
while growing up, the community that surrounds them and from where they can adopt certain
behaviors or norms and significant emotional experiences that could make their lives. Negative or
traumatic experiences may disturb the lives of children forever. Those who experienced abuses
early in life may find it difficult to develop trust to others or may have low self-esteem.
Mention 2 tips for teaching children protective behaviours
In teaching children the protective behaviors, we have to respect their personality as we talk to
them. We have the so called- normal growth and development milestones but children are not the
same. Some may be so quiet while some can be very expressive. Knowing their interests can help
adults start conversations. The way adults ask questions should also be done in such a way that
they will not feel judged or insulted. Adults can ask them to express feelings about how was their
day or how do they feel towards certain situations or persons. This may help us identify possible
circumstances of abuse. We also have to be genuine as we listen actively to their sharing and stories
It is also a must to create a friendly and protective environment. Anyone can be an abuser and
anybody could also be a victim. If adults will distant themselves from young people, they
(children) may fall into the traps of abusers who will filling this gap by giving them so much
attention. Adults also need to be patient and must provide venues for children to feel safe, accepted
and not judged. By doing this, there will be open communication between children and adults.
With open communication, confusions of children will be clarified and problems will be addressed.

END
Thank you, CACTUS Foundation!