A.

Put the sentences in the correct order

1. Help / my friends / I / with / their / homework

_____________________________________________

2. make / people / laugh / when they are sad/ I

_____________________________________________

3. talk / to my friends / on the phone / I

_____________________________________________

4. do sports / I / at the weekends / not / do

_____________________________________________

5. play / I / a musical instrument / in the evening

_____________________________________________

6. do / the housework / I / for my parents

_____________________________________________

7. shy / not / when I meet / new people / I am

_____________________________________________

8. do / exercise / how / you / do / often / ?

_____________________________________________

9. your / how / best friend / old / is / ?

_____________________________________________

10. have / many / you / brother and sisters / how / got / ?

____________________________________________

11. home work / last night / how / you / did / much / do / ?

_____________________________________________

12. you / the / often / do / cinema / go / to / how / ?

_____________________________________________
13. my best friend / next to me / is sitting

_____________________________________________

14. not / I / wearing / am / something blue

_____________________________________________

15. raining / it / not / is

_____________________________________________

16. standing / is / behind me / My teacher

_____________________________________________

17. watching TV / we / not / are

_____________________________________________

18. with a pencil / not / I am / writing

_____________________________________________

19. playing / my friends / football / not / are

_____________________________________________

20. the cinema / I / going / am / to / not

_____________________________________________

21. Solar system / the eighth planet / is / Neptune / in our

_____________________________________________

22. to London / go / I / want to

_____________________________________________

23. my favourite city / is / Barcelona

_____________________________________________

24. in Sydney / for a week / we / were

_____________________________________________

25. 26 years old / is / Caroline 

________________________________________________
B. Put the sentences in the correct order

1. him / I / about the accident / told

_____________________________________________

2. a mask / on Halloween / Kim / wore

_____________________________________________

3. tomorrow / we / going / are / to the movie

_____________________________________________

4. cub / the lion / playing / is / with his

_____________________________________________

5. Bill Gates / a / famous / person / is

_____________________________________________

6. Buddhist / Silvia / a / is

_____________________________________________

7. the stadium / does / go / this bus / to / ?

_____________________________________________

8. Harry Potter books / I / like / the

_____________________________________________

9. cheese / like / you / do / ?

_____________________________________________

10. very fast / the ambulance / driving / is

_____________________________________________

11. old / my / very / is / car

_____________________________________________

12. a pink dress / Teresa / wearing / was

_____________________________________________

13. Michael Jackson / is / name / my

_____________________________________________

14. naughty / very / our dog / is

_____________________________________________

15. my father / hard / works / very

_____________________________________________

16. cleaning / Dad / the car / is

_____________________________________________

17. lives / in a / Peter / house / big

_____________________________________________

18. Robert / countries / travel / likes to / to / different

_____________________________________________

19. nice / like / I / restaurants / to eat / in

_____________________________________________

20. messy / Jenny´s / is / room / very

_____________________________________________

21. Heidi / to school / to walk / likes

_____________________________________________

22. school / Lola / an apple / to / takes

____________________________________________

23. borrow / can / umbrella / I / an / ?

_____________________________________________

24. is / Olga / a book / reading 

___________________________________________

25. is / a/ choice / happiness

C. Put the sentences in the correct order

1. cry / babies / a lot

_____________________________________________

2. playing / children / games / like

_____________________________________________

3. sugar / to put / tea / I / in my / like

_____________________________________________

4. money / who / this / gave / you / ?

_____________________________________________

5. my sandwich / to John / gave / I

_____________________________________________

6. pizzas / bought / three / we

_____________________________________________

7. family / dogs / our / has

_____________________________________________

8. teeth / always / she / brushes / her

_____________________________________________

9. making / is / Dad / sandwiches

_____________________________________________

10. to work / Lily / the train / takes

_____________________________________________

11. island / an / is Australia

_____________________________________________

12. morning / rises / every / sun / the

_____________________________________________

13. water / dogs / in / love / playing

_____________________________________________

14. goes / the / sun / earth / the / around

_____________________________________________

15. train / the / minutes / in / leaves / five

_____________________________________________

16. supermarket / new / Friday / opens / the / on

_____________________________________________

17. Dad / cake / baking / is / a

_____________________________________________

18. ice cream / like / chocolate / I

_____________________________________________

19. saw / smiled / she / when / me / she

_____________________________________________

20. animals / were / prehistoric / Dinosaurs

_____________________________________________

21. pretty / Sally / a / has / face

_____________________________________________

22. brother / dark / his / has / hair

_____________________________________________

23. knee / sore / a / has / Peter

____________________________________________

24. your / you / shirt / have / a / stain / on

_____________________________________________

25. cola / drinks / she / sometimes / a 

_______________________________________
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 Show, Don’t Tell: Your Frame-Worthy
Mini-Guide (With 17 Examples)
72 Remarkable Comments

Let’s say you had a stressful day.

You tell it to your friend on the phone. You say: “I had a stressful day.”

He says: “Oh, I’m sorry.”

But somehow you can’t help but feel that he hasn’t grasped the magnitude of the
teeth-crumbling, nerve-shredding course of your day.

It’s only natural he doesn’t know. He hasn’t seen you driving slaloms through rush
hour traffic, one finger on the steering wheel, while arranging appointments on the
cell phone, and wrapping a birthday present with your left toe. He hasn’t seen you
creeping in through the front door on your gums at 11 PM, loaded with papers and
shopping bags.

He was told how you feel, not shown. “Stressful” is an abstract word. And we only

fully experience things we are shown.
Another example: The other day on the radio, I heard that “two people were killed
in a car accident.”

Did I feel for these poor people?

If I’m honest, not at all. They were just news on the radio. I was just given a piece
of information. When we are told a summary, we don’t feel in our guts what
happened. That’s just human nature.
But what if I had witnessed their car crash, seeing their blood and their skulls
cracked open, hearing their screams? What if I had been talking to their crying
families? Would I have felt for them then?

You bet, I would have felt for them more than you can imagine.

You can’t imagine right now, because I just told you, I didn’t show you. I would
have tears streaming down my cheeks. There, now I showed you.

Excuse my macabre and extreme example taken from our media-filtered reality.
But such is the power of ‘Show, don’t tell’!
And when narrating your stories, you should use it to your advantage.
When you just tell somebody, you are taking away from them experiencing your
scene. They might as well read an instruction manual.
‘Telling’ is like a big neon sign. It’s the most obvious clue you are reading an
amateurish, unexperienced writer. Don’t do it!

So in honor of showing, this post will lay out for you how exactly you can use the
good, old ‘Show, don’t tell’ to create unforgettable stories. In this post, find the
answers to the following questions:
 Why are you always tempted to ‘tell’?
 Which words are strong indicators that you are ‘telling’?
 Which tricks can you employ to avoid ‘telling’?
 You will also get lots and lots of examples, so ‘Show, don’t tell’ will
become engrained in your DNA by the time you finish this post…
Like always, I also have a little gift for you:

Show Don’t Tell Worksheet

This worksheet summarizes the most important points of the post. Keep it at your
desk while you are writing, so it can remind you at all times to ‘Show, don’t tell.’

You will also get some exercises to sharpen your showing skills. Print out, and use
for all of your future stories:

Get Worksheet 
No spam, ever.
Show Don’t Tell Meaning
Which one of the following two snippets pulls you deeper into the story?

This one:

Aaron was a cheerful young doctor, and he loved his car dearly. It was a beautiful
and very expensive vehicle, and he liked to feel its horsepower below him when he
ignited the engine.
 

Or this one:

Aaron stepped out into the bright summer sun with a smile on his face. Whistling a
little tune, he walked up to his Porsche, and admired its shiny, brand-new body
and rims. “Good morning, Thunderboy!” he said, and he couldn’t help but bend
down and press a gentle kiss on its shiny black hood. He dropped his doctor’s bag
on the passenger seat, hopped in and let the motor roar up.
 

Obviously, the second example hooks us much more, and draws us quicker into the
story. It lets us experience the scene directly.
And that is why in your scenes, you should show, and not tell.

The difference between those two is really like the difference between watching a
3D movie and reading a review of the same movie online.

Telling means that you are putting quick labels and broad, simple adjectives on
things. You are claiming something is so-and-so. You summarize.
Showing means that you describe details, and use action, emotion and dialogue to
paint a scene for your reader. You are demonstrating that something is so-and-so.
Anton Chekhov knew what he was talking about. In a letter to his brother, he
stated:

When describing nature, a writer should seize upon small details, arranging them
so that the reader will see an image in his mind after he closes his eyes. For
instance: you will capture the truth of a moonlit night if you’ll write that a gleam
like starlight shone from the pieces of a broken bottle, and then the dark, plump
shadow of a dog or wolf appeared.
 

Even in this letter itself, Chekhov practiced some ‘Show, don’t tell’: He didn’t just
tell us what he meant, but showed us with a practical example…
Beware! The Looming Danger
Telling is easy. You just pile up a couple of adjectives like in a class essay, and
baaaam, you can say “I wrote a story.”
Showing is hard. You have to do brain work and think about “Which details can I
include?” and “How could I demonstrate this in a visual way?” You have to
immerse yourself completely into that scene, and sometimes you have to think
backwards how to demonstrate something.
That’s why telling takes a lot less effort than showing. The difference is like
claiming you just decluttered your garage versus actually doing it. It’s very
tempting to just take the lower road and tell.
But don’t do that!

Be aware of that temptation, and don’t give in to it. If you put in the effort to show,
you story will be so much more gripping and engaging, and will be a much more
exciting experience.
Now let me show (not tell) you how to do it in detail:

How to ‘Show Don’t Tell’

1. Use Details

The first and most obvious thing to do when you show, don’t tell, is describing
details. Be as generous as Santa Clause with details!
 

Make the spooky house a house with dark windows, shattered lanterns, a doorway

covered in cobwebs, and an overgrown path leading up to it.
Don’t say Kate is angry. Instead, describe how Kate bangs the table with her
clenched fist, her face turning slightly red, screaming “Damn! I can’t believe it!”
 

Unfold the scene in front of your mind’s eye, and those engaging details will come
to you easily.
 Spooky House
2. Try Not to Use These Words
Some words are signs that you are telling, not showing. These bad words are (view
them as villains): Adjectives and any form of the word “to be.” They will seduce
you to tell, not show. You must resist their evil powers!

With adjectives, you can put a quick label on anything; something is “beautiful,
big, funny, strange…” The same is true for variations of “to be”: “he was, she is, it
was…” All of these lead to quick labeling, rather than showing.

But I will give you an anti-spell against their evilness. The formula is to ask
yourself:

How do I notice she is quick/he is funny/it is delightful/etc…?

 

Answer yourself that question, and you will have a great list of descriptions to
show to your readers. This question is like your secret weapon against all
adjectives.

3. Use Nouns and Verbs Instead

On the other hand, here are the good words, the Batmen of your dictionary (I’m so
happy I got to use the plural of “Batman” for once): They are the nouns and verbs.
If you use nouns and verbs, they will force you to describe. They will force you to
do the right thing, like your mom shoving spinach down your throat when you
were little.
Instead of writing he was a grumpy man (adjective), you now write he rarely
talked, and when he saw the kids playing, he just let a grunt out of the corner of his
mouth (verbs and nouns). Voilà!
4. Use senses
Using senses is pure showing!

Instead of a lush garden, make it a garden with wild red and orange flowers, and a
thick, sweet smell.
Instead of writing diving into the water was pleasant, write the water felt cool and
fresh and clean on his sore skin.
 

When you describe a sensual experience, oftentimes your reader will have
experienced it herself, and remember her experience while reading. She will then
immediately and very intensely hear, smell, feel or taste the objects you lay out for
her.

 
 

5. Dialogue is Your Friend

Any dialogue line you use is always showing!
That’s because a dialogue line is reflecting straight up what’s happening in the
scene, moment-by-moment. It’s never the author speaking.

So instead of telling your audience Don Pedro was a powerful man, write:

“The guy in the white suite, who just got off the Royce Rolls… that’s Don Pedro,”
she muttered. “He seems to always get his way. People he doesn’t like… they just
disappear. His power seems to have no limits!”
 

In that direct speech we showed in part (white suit; Royce Rolls), and in part we
told (seems to always get his will; people just disappear; power seems to have no
limits).
But all the telling in this snippet is no problem. Because the person talking is
the character; it’s not you, the author… you are off the hook! A very convenient
and perfectly fine way to sneak some telling in through the backdoor.
By the way, if you want to bring some crime and violence into your story, make
sure to check out my post about the dirty secrets of how to write a fight scene.
6. Dialogue Tags Are Not Always Your Friends
Now dialogue tags are something else entirely. They can very well be telling, and
they often tell in a cringeworthy way.

A dialogue tag is the little attachment to a dialogue line that assigns a speaker (e.g.
“he screamed,” “she said angrily”).

Dialogue tags are often horrible cesspools of showing, so please be very careful
with them!

“You always go for the biggest sandwich!” she said jokingly.

 

“She said jokingly,” or “he said knowingly,”…? Seriously?

That’s an over-explanatory label and bad telling. Frankly, to me it looks like the
author is desperate. Like he didn’t find any other way to express himself than
hastily sticking that explanation to the end of the sentence.

You will do much better to leave out such an attachment. Instead, make your figure
express the joking demeanor through her dialogue line itself. You can also use
body language, it makes for great showing and will paint a nice image in your
reader’s mind.

How about this?

“Oh, you…! You always go for the biggest sandwich!” She laughed and slapped
his arm.
 

Much better. This is ‘show, don’t tell.’

How to Show Don’t Tell

I promised you examples, and examples you shall see. I hope the following list will
engrave show, don’t tell deeply into your subconscious, and inspire you to always
show off… I mean, to show in your stories!
A. Show don’t tell descriptions
‘Show don’t tell’ is most obvious with descriptions. Go into details! Split up that
one adjective into several smaller observations. Describe enough details, and a
vivid image will pop up in your reader’s head.

Don’t do it like this:

The Ferris wheel looked fun.

Do it like this:

The Ferris wheel had silly clowns painted on its sides, and its baskets had little
umbrellas in red, green and blue as canopies.
Don’t do it like this:

Tessa was a lovely lady.

Do it like this:

In came Tessa. She nodded politely in all directions, and it seemed like she
acknowledged every single person with a warm smile, directed at them personally.
 
B. Show don’t tell emotions
When you describe emotions, it’s easy to forget showing. It’s easy to just tell that
your character feels “happy,” or “sad” or “embarrassed.”

But instead of telling how your character feels, try to show it; body language and
dialogue are both great for that.
Don’t do it like this:

Roger was bored.

Do it like this:
Roger’s foot was tapping a steady rhythm onto the ground, and later he started
doodling on a sheet of paper. It seemed to him like the hour would never pass.
Don’t do it like this:

Erika was annoyed that Mark still hadn’t returned her book about climate change.
Do it like this:

Erika looked him straight in the eye and said: “You still haven’t returned my book
about climate change. What are you waiting for, the polar caps to melt?”
C. Show don’t tell activities
Whatever your characters are doing, you should consider to ‘Show, don’t tell’ it. If
the action is not very interesting or meaningful, a quick telling verb might be
better. But if it’s worthy exploring, go deeper and show.
Don’t do it like this:

Henrietta ate a lot that day.

Do it like this:

That day, Henrietta ate chicken with vegetable risotto, a huge bowl of mixed salad,
fries, and three slices of that chocolate biscuit cake she just couldn’t resist.
Don’t do it like this:

Milo opened the door and shot the guy in the protective suit.
Do it like this:

Milo opened the door, aimed with a calm pulse, and shot the guy in the protective
suit right between the eyes.
 

D. Show don’t tell setting/mood

If you want to get under your reader’s skin with a moody setting, you have to
‘show, don’t tell.’ What about this place evokes its mood? Describe the physical
details; use nouns, verbs and senses.

Don’t do it like this:

The waterfall looked majestic.

Do it like this:

The waterfall was 300 feet/100 meters high, and the cascade dropped down from
the sharp cliff with roaring thunder.
Don’t do it like this:

The rubbish dump at night looked creepy and unsettling to Randy.

Do it like this:

Dark trash piled up around Randy in all sorts of grotesque forms, like he was
walking a deep abyss. Crooked shadows seemed to be on the hunt, and the nasty
smell of plastic litter and food remains stung in his nose.
 

I wanted to write “the nasty smell of litter stung in his nose,” but then I changed
my mind and showed more details. Now it’s even nastier, don’t you think…?

 
Show Don’t Tell PDF
You can get the most important tips of this post all summarized on one sheet; just
download this PDF. Put it next to you while you write, so you never lose sight of
‘Show, don’t tell.’ The PDF also contains an additional page to practice your
‘Show, don’t tell.’
 Get Worksheet 
No spam, ever.

Show Don’t Tell Exercise

Now it’s time to practice your ‘show, don’t tell,’ so you will
use it automatically when you write. Once you don’t have to think about it
anymore, you can concentrate on the creative, fun part of your story.

The following examples all tell in blatant and obvious ways. Pick one or more of
them, and convert them into showing:
Kayla was a talented piano player.
The lawnmower was broken.
It was a restless squirrel.
Those guests were loud and obnoxious.
The audience of the concert was enthusiastic.
Greg was in a sociable mood.
Winny felt shy.
Rhonda decorated the table in a cute way.
 Andy climbed up the lamppost.
The factory was very neat and clean.
The forest looked magic.
 
Now post your exercise in the comments below, like all of these brave commenters
before you did.

Also, if you are looking for writing prompts for (almost) every genre; dialogue,
character, short story, story starter etc… prompts, you can find them on
the creative writing prompts page. It’s a massive collection of 63 detailed, fun
prompts.
Showing You the Door
If you can show your readers a scene, you will have an exciting story. Showing
takes more effort than telling, but it will make your scene come alive. Use lots of
details, and describe with nouns, verbs and senses. Be careful with adjectives and
variations of the word “to be,” they tend to be telling. Dialogue lines themselves
are always showing, so let your characters talk!
In case of doubt, ask yourself the golden question: How do I notice she is quick/he
is happy/etc…?
‘Show, don’t tell,’ is your best friend. If you can do just this one thing alone, your
readers will dive into your scenes head over heels. They will have beautiful flowers
to touch, spooky houses to enter, elegant parties to celebrate.

They will live in your story, and they will love it!
Image Credits – Header Pic “Living Book”: Patriartis/DeviantArt; Mortgage Pic: High level specialist/Shutterstock;
Turd Pic: AlexHliv/Shutterstock; Evil Banana: Barandash Karandashich/Shutterstock; Middle Finger: Franco
Volpato/Shutterstock; Death by Fruit: nuvolanevicata/Shutterstock
 

72 Remarkable Comments. Join in! 

72 Comments 

1.
Gifford MacShane 
APRIL 6, 2017 AT 18:58
Your examples of show/don’t tell are excellent, and I really like the exercises
given. Unfortunately, you’ve fallen into the same trap most people who advise
“don’t use adjectives/adverbs” fall into. This sentence,

“a garden with wild red and orange flowers, and a thick, sweet smell”, contains
five adjectives, while this one, “the water felt cool and fresh and clean on his sore
skin”, contains 3 adverbs and 1 adjective. The same is true in most of the other
“better” sentences presented. The “noun/verb” rule sounds really good, but it’s
almost impossible to follow and create any detail at all. I truly wish this precept
would go into the round file for all time.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
APRIL 6, 2017 AT 18:58
Thanks, Gifford! You are making some interesting points.

The rule “Don’t use adjectives and adverbs” is meant as “Don’t use adjectives
and adverbs to label and summarize.” As you pointed out, using only nouns and
verbs (and the little else we have in our word pools) is almost impossible. We
wouldn’t get an enticing text.

What really matters is that we don’t use adverbs, and to a lesser degree
adjectives, as excuses to not let our readers experience things, emotions,
characters. Let’s make the audience feel all of our descriptions!

Also, the adjectives that belong to “verbs of senses” like smell/feel/hear/taste are
far more acceptable than other adjectives or adverbs. That’s because the senses
draw us into the scene automatically. And it would be pretty difficult and
useless to describe what somebody feels on their skin without using any
adjective. By saying “it felt,” what comes afterwards will automatically be an
adjective. (And yes, these are adjectives, even though they feel like adverbs.)

Generally speaking, colors are not that bad to use either. That’s because we have
seen the color described and it helps us visualize quickly how something looks.
But again, don’t use color as an excuse to summarize.

In short: Don’t label, instead create an experience! That’s the main point, and
everything else is just exploring that point in detail. Writing fiction is a complex
matter. Take the basic rules, and use them for whatever makes sense to you!
Glad you made this point, so I could comment on the examples, in case this
confuses anybody.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Gifford MacShane 
APRIL 8, 2017 AT 18:58
And now I’m totally in tune with you. My mantra is to find the best word and
not worry about its defined function. Noun/verb/modifier isn’t as important
as the picture you paint. But like Susanne below, many people hear the
“don’t” and stop right there. I have a friend, also a writer, who was told she
shouldn’t use “and then” and “but then” (I agree, they’re repetitive).
However, she’s now trying to eliminate every “and” and “but” from her MS,
with really odd results at times. 

Rules are to be taken with a grain of salt, and applied as carefully.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

2.
Chris 
MARCH 4, 2018 AT 18:58
Those comments… Gifford’s comment and Alex’s reply… made me smile. 

I’ve just written a scene for my current WIP that’s mainly phone dialogue. It
ended with a description of a restaurant that has no less than six adjectives
preceding the word ‘restaurant’. 

Looking at it, I thought ‘No… it’s too many adjectives’… but on reflection,
the number of fatuous ‘labels’ serve to emphasise perfectly the nature of the
place as one of those tacky establishments so many of us go out of our way to
avoid.

Here’s the end of the scene:

“No.” Saffy assured her, “It’s nothing like that… honestly… Can we meet
up?… You choose somewhere. Lunch is on me, OK?”

Kelly agreed, suggesting an expensive themed American styled gourmet

burger restaurant in the city centre. Saffy knew it for what it was: a
pretentious place, in one of the shopping malls, where style ruled over
 substance, even though the style was cheap and plastic, and the substance
was little better than fast food, but served with white table cloths and proper
cutlery.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
MARCH 4, 2018 AT 18:58
Adjectives? Do I hear adjectives…? Go ahead and label away, as long as it
makes sense. Good writing!

REPLY TO COMMENT→

2.
tony 
APRIL 6, 2017 AT 18:58
This is great!

Two minor nits. Use showing when the scene is important to the story; use telling
when the description gets in the way. There are some times where the action is just
to move along. The extra words–because showing virtually always adds words–
slow the reader down with things that aren’t as important. 

Second nit (and it is small and doesn’t detract from the example, I think): “Oh
you… you…always go for the biggest sandwich!” she laughed and slapped his
arm. The sentence “she laughed and slapped his arm.” should begin with a capital
‘S’ since laugh is not a speech tag. Like I said, minor.

Thanks for putting these together!

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
tony 
APRIL 6, 2017 AT 18:58
ETA: Be nice if ‘new lines’ could be used. Break up the comment. Thanks!

REPLY TO COMMENT→
2.
Alex 
APRIL 6, 2017 AT 18:58
Hey Tony! 

In reply to point one: Yes, totally! There is a time to ‘tell.’ Use it when you want
to speed things up, connection parts, etc… While writing this post, a strong urge
in me came up to at some point write an article by the title of “Tell, don’t
show.” And at some point, this article will be written…

Second point: Noted and changed. I also broke your comment up into
paragraphs.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

3.
Steven Moore 
APRIL 25, 2017 AT 18:58
Tony, the example: “she laughed and slapped his arm.” should begin with a
capital ‘S’ since laugh is not a speech tag.

Well look again…it does begin with an S, not s. 

Just saying.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
APRIL 26, 2017 AT 18:58
Hi Steven, I edited the sentence after Tony’s comment. Cheers!

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
tony 
APRIL 26, 2017 AT 18:58
Thanks, Alex!
 REPLY TO COMMENT→

3.
Susanne Leist 
APRIL 6, 2017 AT 18:58
I copied and pasted your article so I could refer to it when I get tempted to tell. I
cut out the use of adverbs, but I thought adjectives weren’t taboo. Yet. Soon each
sentence with have three words. 

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
APRIL 6, 2017 AT 18:58
Ha ha, three words… Please don’t do this (see my reply to Gifford above).

You can download the content upgrade sheet (yellow button)! It contains a two-
page summary of the most important points of this post, including some of the
examples. Two pages will serve you better than the entire 2,483 pages of this
post printed…

REPLY TO COMMENT→

4.
Linda 
APRIL 6, 2017 AT 18:58
My attempt to change “The lawnmower was broken.” “Gary yanked on the starter
cord of the lawnmower. The engine sputtered, but did not catch. He pulled it again
with better results — the engine caught, sputtered, revved, but then sputtered again
and died. Gary tinkered with the throttle and tried again, but to no avail.”

I’m very new to the creative writing process (been a technical writer for many
years) and really struggle with the “show, not tell” idea. But this article and
worksheet will help.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
APRIL 6, 2017 AT 18:58
 Nice, Linda! You are splitting that “was broken” thing up into what the
character experiences.

You still have two clear “tellings” in there though: “with better results” and “to
no avail.” You could also bring in some senses: e.g. Gary is smelling smoke; a
short, pathetic roar of the motor, etc…

Kudos for doing the exercise!

REPLY TO COMMENT→

5.
Teresa J Reasor 
APRIL 6, 2017 AT 18:58
Excellent post and Thank you for the cheat sheet.
I shared your post everywhere. A lot to learn from.
Teresa

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
APRIL 6, 2017 AT 18:58
Thank you very much, Teresa.

And thanks for sharing, I really appreciate you getting the word out! This blog is
a delicate plant, growing, but needs to grow faster…

REPLY TO COMMENT→

6.
Arvilla 
APRIL 6, 2017 AT 18:58
Kayla was a talented piano player.
My change:
To say Kayla had talent understated her virtuosity on the piano. Determined to
achieve, she endured grueling exercises while the metronome maintained its steady
pulse, matching the beat of her heart.

REPLY TO COMMENT→
 1.
Alex 
APRIL 7, 2017 AT 18:58
Good to see you are going for the exercise again, Arvilla! This one is the most
difficult one on the list, because “talented” is a pretty abstract word.

How about this: “Kayla’s fingers were sliding over the keyboard without any
effort. Her music seemed to lift the audience up to a higher place, as people
listened with closed eyes and entranced smiles.”

That’s another trick: Show somebody’s reaction to something. That way you are
showing how something is indirectly.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

7.
Keri 
APRIL 7, 2017 AT 18:58
I LOVE this post, Alex!
As I can only imagine the work you put into it and your download… Thank YOU!
I’m learning, experimenting and helping solopreneurs create storytelling videos.
Your suggestions and examples for showing versus telling are perfect!
I’ve printed your tips and example download.
Here’s a comparison example from my simplistic script writing..

Tell: I still have nightmares about how pirates killed my father. My mom
sacrificing her life to bring me to Comzone Zone.
Show: Haunting images flash. Pirates with blazing eyes- harsh voices- striking
with swords, guns, clubs, arrows, hooks. Dad paralyzed by ropes… I watch…
helpless.
Mom drags my limp body -escaping in the adventure ship. Passing pirate ships
lurking in the black sea… Mom brings ME safely to Comfort Zone.
~Keri

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1.
Alex 
APRIL 7, 2017 AT 18:58
Awesome, Keri! 😀
 Yes, “Show, don’t tell” is a powerful storytelling tool in any situation, including
the business world.

Your exercise is really, really great!! Totally draws the reader into the scene,
very visual and specific. Plus, you packed long and epic events into a couple of
words, and were able to do it with the power of strong images. I can feel this as
I read it, as opposed to the “telling” version that is just boring. Well done!

REPLY TO COMMENT→

8.
Rose 
APRIL 7, 2017 AT 18:58
‘Rhonda decorated the table in a cute way.’

Changed to…

‘Rhonda pursed her lips and surveyed the table. In the middle stood a plain white
vase filled with a posy of spring flowers in shades of pink and violet. A name card
sat in front of each place setting and a crisp linen napkin folded into a lotus shape
rested on each place mat. She scattered some tiny flower shapes cut from shiny foil
across the spotless cloth and admired the way they caught the light. Perfect!’

Hardest part for me was getting rid of ‘to be’!

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
APRIL 7, 2017 AT 18:58
Nice work, Rose, I love it! Lets us feel how carefully Rhonda decorated the
table.

Also, in regards to my first comment above, you do use some adjectives, but
that’s completely fine, because you don’t use them to summarize. All to the
contrary: You use them to get more specific and to paint a colorful image in
front of the reader’s inner eye.

“To be” always wants to come in through the back door, it’s sneaky… But I
think it’s good you didn’t use it, because the description of a laid table is static
by nature, and “to be” would have made it even more static and less interesting.
Anyways, well done!
 REPLY TO COMMENT→

9.
patriciaruthsusan 
APRIL 7, 2017 AT 18:58
This was just great, Alex. Thanks for all your work. I now have the worksheet on
my desk. This is an area I need to work on. 🙂 — Suzanne

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
APRIL 7, 2017 AT 18:58
Great, Suzanne! Once you get the good old “Show, don’t tell” down, every
single paragraph you write will be more enticing. Cheers!

REPLY TO COMMENT→

10.
Eddie Omobe 
APRIL 7, 2017 AT 18:58
Hey Alex,
Your blog is AMAZING!
I think this has become my go to source for anything writing related, and how to
grow as a writer.
Show, don’t tell has been a major issue for me, now that you’ve finally put this up,
I see my writing taking a new turn. Looking forward to applying your tips in my
writing.
P. S. Your site is pretty rad. Wait, did I say that already? Had to emphasise it.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
APRIL 7, 2017 AT 18:58
Ha, thanks Eddie! Glad it helps you.

A lot more good stuff coming up.

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11.
Alex 
APRIL 7, 2017 AT 18:58
I like how you guys are getting into gear with the writing prompts… 4 prompts
done so far.

8 on the list are left. Who wants to go for them…? Pick one!

REPLY TO COMMENT→

12.
Laura 
APRIL 8, 2017 AT 18:58
Thanks for this Alex. The concept of showing and not telling haunts me. Most of
the time I over think it and end up with too little or too much. I printed the cheat
sheet and will keep it above my desk. Here is my take on the forest looked magic
prompt:
The forest sparkled with ice from the frosty storm. Sunlight bounced off the pine
needles, refracting through the branches like light through a diamond and
sharpening what few shadows were left in mid-day sun. Following the muddy path
through the trees would take you from the edge of the city into a whole other
world.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
APRIL 8, 2017 AT 18:58
Nice one, Laura! That’s some magic forest. And that one was difficult too.

As story writers, we create something out of nothing. So to show, we have to

dive deep into our imagination. Just keep on writing, and it will inevitably
become second nature to you.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

13.
Dorothy Keeney 
 APRIL 8, 2017 AT 18:58
Every time I try to download your notes, I receive a message “blocked plug-in.”  I
have tried to unblock them to no avail.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
APRIL 9, 2017 AT 18:58
The download works. My guess is that it has to do with the settings on your
computer, e.g. your security settings.

Anyways, I emailed you the download.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

14.
Ia 
MAY 15, 2017 AT 18:58
Thank you.

I decided to tackle the lazy verbs in “The Ferris wheel had silly clowns painted on
its sides, and its baskets had little umbrellas in red, green and blue as canopies.”

— Painted clowns with silly faces decorated the Ferris wheel sides, and little red,
green, or blue umbrellas canopied the wheel’s dangling baskets.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
MAY 15, 2017 AT 18:58
You sure made that phrase show more. I can see those baskets dangling.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

15.
Maurine 
MAY 19, 2017 AT 18:58
 Thanks for the post on show/don’t tell. This explains some things I’ve been told
except for “seemed.” I was told it’s telling, yet I noticed you used it in your
comment on the talented piano player. Could you clarify that for me? Is it telling or
not?

Also, isn’t the adjective/adverb rule mostly so we don’t depend too much on them
to modify our nouns and verbs, like writing “He walked quickly across the room”
rather than “He stalked across the room.” Or “the heavy wood door” instead of
“the oak door.”

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
MAY 20, 2017 AT 18:58
You probably heard the “seemed” rule in regards to shortcuts like “he seemed
boring” or “it seemed big.” And these examples do sound bad. 

Again, do whatever serves you, as long is it’s meant to unfold the experience in
front of your readers’ mental eye and it’s not a lazy shortcut.

I wrote “Her music seemed to lift the audience up to a higher place, as people
listened with closed eyes and entranced smiles.” That doesn’t sound like a lazy
shortcut to me. Of course, you could go into even more detail, like describing an
entranced listener, etc… at some point it will become boring and a showstopper
though.

Adjective/Adverb: Yes, that rule should help us to keep in mind not to label
(which an adverb tends to do), but to describe (which an adjective tends to do).
Your “He stalked…” example demonstrates this very well. No modification
with an adverb, but instead a better description with another, more descriptive
verb.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

16.
sam I am 
JULY 28, 2017 AT 18:58
great post!  thank you.

REPLY TO COMMENT→
 1.
Alex 
JULY 29, 2017 AT 18:58
You are very welcome, Sam!

REPLY TO COMMENT→

17.
Naomi Litvin 
NOVEMBER 21, 2017 AT 18:58
Hi Alex,
I’m so glad I subscribed to your mailings! Thanks! Can you please add a LinkedIn
share button here?
Cheers!
Naomi

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
NOVEMBER 24, 2017 AT 18:58
Awesome, Naomi, enjoy! 

A LinkedIn button won’t be added any time soon, I’m afraid. There is just not
enough reader demand. But of course a Twitter, FB or Pinterest share is always
appreciated.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

18.
Naomi Litvin 
NOVEMBER 24, 2017 AT 18:58
Ok! Will do!

REPLY TO COMMENT→

19.
Rose Green 
JANUARY 22, 2018 AT 18:58
Kayla was a talented piano player.

Kayla sat at the piano and felt the familiar thrill of anticipation. She glanced at the
music sheet on the little ledge and a couple of nervous butterflies started fluttering
around her stomach. This was not a piece she had played before and it was going to
prove a challenge. Still, her abilities would carry her through and she had plenty of
time to practice.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
JANUARY 23, 2018 AT 18:58
Hi Rose, you are showing us very well who Kayla really is and what she feels,
but you hardly give us an impression of her talent. 

How about “you could see wide eyes and dropped jaws in the audience” (thus
showing, not telling, that the audience was mesmerized), or “her fingers slid
over the keyboard effortlessly”?

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Rose Green 
JANUARY 24, 2018 AT 18:58
Very good point, Alex. I found this exercise more of a challenge than I
expected, since I try to ‘show not tell’ in my writing in general – but I kept
catching myself writing various forms of ‘to be’! I think I got too lost in
avoiding ‘to be’ and not focussed enough on the exercise.

I know this is going to improve my writing, though. Thank you for the
exercise – and the critique!

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
JANUARY 24, 2018 AT 18:58
 Awesome, improving your guys’ writing is the whole point of these
exercises.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

20.
Chris 
MARCH 4, 2018 AT 18:58
Oh dear, Alex… I was about to comment on how there hadn’t been one example of
that most misused word ‘awesome’… Then you used it right at the end. Never
mind. 
Am I the only one who reserves ‘awesome’ for things like the Grand Canyon, the
sound of Concorde taking off beside you, Niagara Falls, or anything else truly awe
inspiring, or terror inducing? 

Too many people today have watered down the word, using it to describe anything
from a cup of coffee, to lipstick or a three minute pop single by some pimply
boyband.

Seriously, though… Back to the subject of the blog… Occasionally using too many
adjectives and adverbs can reflect the POV of the piece. If the POV is of someone
who talks and thinks that way, the text will feel like it’s his or her thoughts.

Likewise, a terse delivery suits other POVs. Think characters like TV’s NCIS’s
Gibbs for one, or Ducky for the other.  (If you’re familiar with the series… I tried
to think of an example familiar to both sides of the Atlantic).

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
MARCH 4, 2018 AT 18:58
If you mean the “Awesome comments,” then I have to agree; I have been
wanting to change that for a while. It’s meant to encourage people to comment,
but the word sounds meaningless.

Reflect the POV… hm, that’s a good point too. One just has to be careful not to
use it as an excuse for laziness. I’m not familiar with your TV examples,
unfortunately.

REPLY TO COMMENT→
21.
Chris 
MARCH 4, 2018 AT 18:58
PS: I’ve just noticed the dates and realised that this is an old blog that’s just
dropped into my in box. 

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
MARCH 4, 2018 AT 18:58
No worries, I get comments on older posts all the time, and they make me just
as happy as comments on new posts. 😉

REPLY TO COMMENT→

22.
Beth 
MARCH 5, 2018 AT 18:58
Hi Alex. Thank you for the blog. 

For two years now, since I decided to write stories, I have struggled with “Show,
don’t tell.” And you’re right…we are tempted to tell all. 

I like your comment: In case of doubt, ask yourself the golden question: How do I
notice she is quick/he is happy/etc…? I think this one will help me a great deal
with my writing.

So I have decided to give one of your exercises a try. Sorry if I get it wrong, but at
least I know I have learnt something new today.

Winny felt shy.

Changed to:
Winny lowered her gaze and looked at the tips of her black shoes. Offering only
small, quick glances under her thick black lashes, in the direction of the handsome
rugged face of the stranger standing before her. Her reluctance to let him touch her
created more tension in her already tingling slender body. She turned and averted
her gaze onto a field of yellow poppies and blue daffodils almost as if she were
blatantly ignoring him. Which of course, she wasn’t.
 The word ‘felt’ in your sentence is one of the senses – touch. 

This was challenging Alex. Thank you so much again for this blog.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
MARCH 5, 2018 AT 18:58
Hi Beth, that was excellent. That’s exactly what “Show, don’t tell” is about.

In your comment, I can almost see your inner struggle and how those simple,
blunt adjectives and adverbs want to come out of you. But you don’t let them,
he he… good writing!

REPLY TO COMMENT→

23.
Gordon 
APRIL 4, 2018 AT 18:58
Kayla asked us to bear with her because she didn’t have any sheet music as she
played the first twelve measures of the Moonlight Sonata, segueing into Moonlight
in Vermont with a Latin rhythm while continuing the Moonlight Sonata as
background. Before she was done, she had also incorporated Moon River as a
waltz and Moon Dance as Scott Joplin might have played it before returning to
Moonlight Sonata with distinctly modern jazz chords, major 7ths, half diminisheds
making it sound as if Antonio Carlos Jobim had composed it. When she played the
last notes, the audience was too stunned to applaud, and I wasn’t the only one with
tears of appreciation in my eyes.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
APRIL 5, 2018 AT 18:58
Lots of moons, lots of details! She really must be a very talented piano player.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

24.
 Gordon 
APRIL 4, 2018 AT 18:58
Alex,

What fun, thanks. When I was teaching high school, I made printed signs that said
“Show, don’t Tell” in 26 different languages. I remember a Vietnamese refugee
who was looking around the room who suddenly smiled when he saw the words in
his home language. One sign I had but never posted was in Braille. I thought that
was one time it might not be true. I ran out of room on the other post.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
APRIL 5, 2018 AT 18:58
Hey Gordon! 26 languages… sounds like they must have remembered in the
end.

Braille – you did think of everything. Morse code and dog language (if
somebody manages to translate…) would be my ideas.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

25.
Gordon 
APRIL 5, 2018 AT 18:58
Yep, Morse code was one of them. I got Turkish from a man sitting next to me on
a plane reading a magazine with letters I didn’t recognize. I was a pest asking
people, but they were always gracious.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

26.
Pamela 
MAY 28, 2018 AT 18:58
Cold sweat appeared on Winnie’s face and began running down the neck of her
cardigan when she saw the number of people in the room. She wrapped her arms
around her stomach as it rolled at the thought of meeting someone new.

REPLY TO COMMENT→
 1.
Alex 
MAY 29, 2018 AT 18:58
He he, yesss! Shown, not told.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

27.
Sandra Warren 
JANUARY 13, 2019 AT 18:58
This post is so helpful and something I too, among many, have struggled with. And
along with SHOW DON’T TELL, I am a SHOW ME person so your examples are
the icing on the cake. 

Thank you for this! 

Sandra

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
JANUARY 14, 2019 AT 18:58
Nice, Sandra! Now SHOW me how you can implement it, he he..

REPLY TO COMMENT→

28.
Karen Llewellyn 
MARCH 12, 2019 AT 18:58
Alex, good, and simple way to advise inexperienced writers, but instead of “was
tapping his foot,” etc. Get rid of the “to be” verb and say, “…tapped his foot….”
Doesn’t that work better, using past tense?

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
 Alex 
MARCH 12, 2019 AT 18:58
I like “was tapping” better because it makes us feel how slowly time goes by.
Just as you got bored of the “to be” verb, poor Rodger got bored of time passing
by slowly.

But really, either way is completely fine.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

29.
Maria Alexandria 
APRIL 5, 2019 AT 18:58
Hello i can’t remember how many times stopping and starting read changing things
word saying I cannot put that and cross it out.
When I get to a personal scene I find my sel blushing and what I was thinking not
putting it in
Since
I read
right it don’t read I found most of my words
Hit home at one point when I finished the paragraph I decided to read it to see if it
actually sound any good
I actually cried it was beautiful i couldn’t believe it was my words

Thank you

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
APRIL 6, 2019 AT 18:58
Hi Maria Alexandria, I’m not sure what parts of your comment mean, but I’m
happy my posts helped you and you have written something touching you can
be proud of. That’s so great to hear!!

It’s indeed not easy to write about very personal things – but as a rule of thumb,
the more awkward it feels to write it, the more real (and the better) it is.

Keep on writing and riding your pen – I’m rooting for you!

REPLY TO COMMENT→
30.
robintvale (Jessica) 
APRIL 26, 2019 AT 18:58
Learn deep pov and your showing improves like 200% But man it’s hard as heck.
>_< 

How about next week an article on not holding the reader's hand? I tend to slip
back into doing that when worried about making things clear enough. and sure
enough on this new editing round, I was saying things twice (already said in the
dialogue, in the body movements. another sneaky one that gets in is stuff like, 'her
hand' when in the other sentence or paragraph the reader was already shown she/he
hand say an object in their hand. So that gets cut out or reworded. 😛

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
APRIL 27, 2019 AT 18:58
It sounds like you are having lots of fun with editing. I mean looots and looots
of fun… or so… 

But seriously, this is just a matter of practicing writing. Just keep on writing and
being aware of these things, and you will automatically do these repetitions less
and less. Until editing ACTUALLY becomes fun.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

31.
red 
JULY 26, 2019 AT 18:58
Thank you for addressing a pet peeve of mine. We are artists. We paint with words.
Telling is journalism and it’s a rare journalist who can make the transition from
workhorse to warhorse. Well done, and working with that artist must be a blast! 🙂

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
 JULY 26, 2019 AT 18:58
For real, if you want to tell, go get employed by a newspaper!

Cheers to some beautiful paintings, created with words!

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
red 
JULY 27, 2019 AT 18:58
Yes! We are creators. SF writers invented the laser/blaster. We were flying
around the world and to the moon before cars were invented. Battling demons
and foreign hordes before most most nations were born. Teachers bemoan
that no one is interested in learning history. Then, teacher, get a writer to do it
for you. We make it live again. We put life an blood into dry, dull texts. We
teach as we learn and show how to do it and do it with style. niio

REPLY TO COMMENT→

32.
Sharon 
AUGUST 11, 2019 AT 18:58
Hi Alex,

Thanks, as always, for your inspiring posts, and for all the free goodies you send
us.

Here’s Andy up a lamppost.

“Come down from there,” Andy’s father yelled from the ground below. A crowd
was beginning to gather around the lamppost.
The unrelenting sun, high in the sky, beat without mercy on Andy’s bare head.
Andy knew what would happen if he came down. He wasn’t sure if he was more
afraid of his father’s punishment for letting the dogs out, again, to run loose in the
neighborhood, or falling and breaking a leg.
His young body clung to the pole, his arms and legs wrapped around it like a
defenseless animal up a tree, the menace below out of reach.
He felt the perspiration on his forehead beginning to drip into his eyes.
He looked down. He could see someone on a phone, his father no longer yelling,
only imploring Andy to come down.
Then, with immense relief, he saw his mother pull her car into the driveway, back
from the market.
 Slowly, very slowly, he let himself slide down the lamppost.
There was going to be a picnic today.

REPLY TO COMMENT→

1.
Alex 
AUGUST 15, 2019 AT 18:58
That’s a fun mini-story, Sharon! That lamppost sure has stories to tell.

On to the picnic!

REPLY TO COMMENT→

33.
Sharon 
AUGUST 16, 2019 AT 18:58
Thank you Alex.
You motivate me to write.
Sharon

REPLY TO COMMENT→
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