IELTS-planet writing

Task 2: Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, the government pay some of or
all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? 

In recent years, it is true that some countries have paid full or partial fees at school for children.
While accepting such policy has a wide range of positive outcomes on education development, I
believe that it also comes with drawbacks.

It is widely believed that there have been various benefits from payment for children’s education(1).
First of all, the school fees funded by the government can relieve the burden for less affluent family
concerning about education cost(2). Therefore, the financial support from governments for education
area will encourage more children to go to school(3). In addition to that, their parents can have more
money to spend on food, medical care for them (4). As a result, illiteracy rate will be reduced, and it
may significantly contribute to the development of the country due to better workforce (5).

Nevertheless, there still exist a wide range of drawbacks with regards to government support for
education. Firstly, an enormous amount of money that the government share financial burden of
school fees would *take effects on the whole national budget, leading to investment decrease on
other fields. For instance, healthcare services and other sectors of economy would not be given
adequate attention. In order to avoid this consequence, raising tax would be taken; however, it might
inhibit the development of the economic. Furthermore, some people who pay tax may feel unfair,
especially who have no child.

In conclusion, it seems to me that reasonable benefits of government financial support for education
are more significant than the possible disadvantages.

Grade
Task Response 5 Try to be consistent with your idea, especially in the introduction
and conclusion. Stay on topic. Practice to write supporting ideas.

Cohesion and 6 The effort of connecting sentences and ideas is visible; however,
Coherence further improvement is required.
Vocabulary 6 There are some good vocabulary; however, some parts of your
writing are hard to understand
Grammar 6-6.5 There are some grammar mistakes
Overall 6 I can tell that you have been practicing very hard for ielts. Try to
write simple

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