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The Reminder

“Remind For Surely Reminding Benefits The Believers” (51:55)

For Surely Reminding Benefits The Believers” (51:55) SEX : HALAL OR HARAM? Upon deep study of

SEX : HALAL OR HARAM?

Upon deep study of the Islamic sources, the great scholar Iz bin Abd Al-Salaam (may Allah the All-Mighty have mercy upon him) concluded that the spirit of the whole of Islamic law could be summed up as: “Promotion of that which is beneficial and prevention of that which is harmful”.

As a general principle the more an act causes harm, the more severe the sin and the more severe its punishment in Islam. The fact that fornication (sex outside marriage) is considered a MAJOR SIN is due the destructive effects it has on individuals and the whole of society.

Living in a society which promotes sexual freedom we can clearly see the harm it causes to society such as:

• Teenage pregnancy

Government figures show one fifth of teenage pregnancies involve girls under 18 who already have a child. The rate has been rising steadily in the UK particularly in girls under 16. The UK has the highest teenage birth rates in Western Europe.

• Illegitimate children

The proportion of children born outside marriage in the UK has leapt from 12% in 1980 to 42% in 2004, according to the Office for National Statistics. In the United States between 1978 and 1996, the number of babies born to unmarried women doubled, from just over 500,000 to over 1.2 million.

• The break-up of families

New research has shown that adulterous husbands and wives are by far the main cause of Britain’s record-high rates of divorce with husbands three times more likely than their wives to cheat.Almost one-third of divorces in Scotland are blamed on adultery.

• Increase in abortion rates.

Department of Health figures show there were 185,400 abortions in 2004 - a rise of 2.1% from 181,600 in 2003 and about 5.3% from 176,000 in 2002. Alarmingly, the number of under-14 abortions has also increased. In the United States there were 1.31 million abortions in 2000.

• The spread of STDs (sexually transmitted diseases).

• A general laxity in morals

• Bitterness in relationships

HARAM SEX (SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE) The list can go on. In short fornication is harmful

HARAM SEX (SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE)

The list can go on. In short fornication is harmful to society which is why Islam prohibits it. It is no surprise that all the revealed religions have prohibited fornication and adultery.

This is why the Quran states:

“And approach not Zina (FORNICATION); indeed, it is an indecency, and an evil way” (17: 32)

During his ascension (Al-Mi’raj), the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was escorted by Jibreel (Gabriel) (peace be upon him) and shown different types of punishments meted out to those guilty of various major offences. While recounting the various scenes shown to him, he said (peace and blessings be upon him), “We came to a hole like a furnace which was narrow at the top and wide at the bottom. There was a fire burning under it and there were naked men and women in it. The flames leapt up to them from underneath. When the fire came near, they rose up until they almost came out. When it abated they went back into it again”. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) inquired who they were, Jibreel (Gabriel) (peace be upon him) said they were the fornicators. (BUKHARI)

THE SEXUAL URGE IS NATURAL

Islam recognises the sexual desire as a natural human desire. Humans need to satisfy their sexual desires in the same way that they have to satisfy their hunger and thirst. However, Muslims cannot use this as an excuse to fornicate in the same way it is not allowed to steal food because they feel hungry. Islam provides lawful ways to satisfy our needs e.g. buying/selling food and marriage etc

REWARDS OF HALAL SEX (SEX WITHIN MARRIAGE)

Where the punishment for fornication is severe, Islam being a just religion rewards those who abstain from fornication.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said “In your sexual intercourse (with your spouse) there is a Sadaqah (charity)”. They, the companions, (may Allah the All-Mighty be pleased with them) said “O Messenger of Allah, is there reward for one of us in satisfying his sexual need?” He (peace and blessings be upon him) replied: Do you not see if he were to satisfy it in a Haram (unlawful) manner, would it not be a sin? Similarly if he satisfies it in a Halal (lawful) manner he should be rewarded” (MUSLIM)

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Whoever guarantees me that which is between his jaws (i.e. tongue) and that which is between his thighs (i.e. private parts), I will guarantee him Paradise” (BUKHARI).

Another Hadith states: “There are seven categories of people who will be granted protection under the shade of Allah on the Day when there is no other shade; ….among them is a young person who is seduced by a woman of great beauty and wealth and yet he rejected her advances saying ‘I fear Allah!’ (BUKHARI and MUSLIM)

SOLUTIONS

1 - Lowering the gaze

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and to protect their private parts (from haram sexual acts)… and tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from haram sexual acts)” (24:30-31)

This includes preserving oneself from that which excites passions, opens ways for illicit sexual relations between a man and a woman, and promotes indecency and obscenity.This is not restricted to the physical looking at a person of the opposite sex; rather it includes sexual images on television, billboards, newspapers, and magazines. Songs with sexual content should also be avoided. Thus, a Muslim must be careful what he looks at and listens to.

“The Prophet, (peace and blessings be upon him), considered lustful looks at a person of the opposite sex as “the fornication of the eye”. He (peace and blessings be upon him), said - “The eyes also commit fornication, and their fornication (zina) is the lustful look.” (BUKHARI)

2 - Knowing that Allah The All-Mighty knows when a person fornicates.

A Muslim who thinks “that as long as nobody finds out that he/she is fornicating then he/she is not accountable for it should reflect on the following verse:

“And indeed We have created man, and We know what his own self whispers to him. And We are nearer to him than his jugular vein” (50:16)

This is why that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “No one commits fornication while still remaining a believer” (MUSLIM). In other words a Muslim cannot fornicate because he knows that Allah the All-Mighty is aware of it.

3 - Marriage: the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said about marriage “It (marriage) controls the gaze and preserves one’s private parts (i.e. from fornication), but for those who do not have the means to get married, they should fast, for it is means for suppressing the sexual desire” (BUKHARI and MUSLIM)

the means to get married, they should fast, for it is means for suppressing the sexual

ADVICE FOR PARENTS

Many parents refuse to accept that their son/daughter may fornicate.They believe that their son is like Abu Bakr (may Allah the All-Mighty be pleased with him) and their daughter is like Maryam (Mary) (peace be upon her). They forget that their sons/daughters are human beings who have natural urges.What would they say about a person who had not eaten for days and was then placed at a table full of different types of food, with people around them eating? Do they not think the majority of people in that situation will have some food?

Very often they are unaware how easy fornication has become

in

this society. Parents need to help their children to stay clear

of

the pitfalls of fornication. Parents who still have doubts need

only ask doctors working in hospitals to realise that Muslim

girls are coming in regularly to get abortions.

ADVICE FOR WOMEN

When Allah the All-Mighty mentions the fornicators in Surah Noor (24:2), the female fornicator is mentioned before the male

fornicator. Scholars have mentioned that the reason for this is

to indicate the pivotal role of the female.

Many men will use all means to persuade a female into fornication with the purpose of using her to satisfy their sexual desire.

Ultimately, fornication will only take place when she allows it to happen. Therefore the Quran mentioned her first to emphasise

to the female to not allow men to induce her into fornicating.

Women should see past the chocolates, flowers, romantic words

and promises of marriage.

It also reminds the female that she has a lot more to lose

than the male due to the effects of fornication being more detrimental to her, such as the stigma society attaches to a female fornicator and the danger of her getting pregnant.

ADVICE FOR MEN

Many male fornicators don’t have problems with using other people’s daughters/sisters to satisfy their desires but then they insist on marrying a virgin! They need to reflect on the following hadith:

A young man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be

upon him) and asked him for permission to fornicate. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asked him whether he would accept for someone to fornicate with his mother, daughter or sister to which he (may Allah the All-Mighty be pleased with him) replied NO! The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said likewise other people don’t accept for men to fornicate with their mothers, daughters and sisters. (MUSNID AHMAD)

It is clear that men can’t have one rule for themselves and another for other people or other members of their family.

Male fornicators need to realise that they are causing damage to their society and Allah the All-Mighty says:

“Allah does not approve of those who cause corruption”

(2:205)

GENERAL ADVICE

The reward of refraining from fornication is too large for it to be forsaken for 5-10 minutes of pleasure. Are those 5-10 minutes of pleasure worth risking your eternal life of eternal pleasure in the Hereafter?

“As for the one who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure Evil desires and lusts surely Paradise will be his abode” (79:40-41)

THIS REMINDER IS DEDICATED TO ALL THOSE (ESPECIALLY THE YOUTH) WHO AVOID FORNICATION DESPITE ALL THE TEMPTATIONS OF SOCIETY.

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