IN THE VISION OF VEDANTA - I Am What I Want to Be (Part 1)

Vedanta is an equation. In its vision, the seeker - the individual happens to be the sought. The
seeker-sought identity is unfolded by an equation. Any equation reveals an identity which is
intrinsic to two factors or two sides. Apparently they look different. Essentially they are the same.
THREE UNIVERSAL URGES
If I analyse, I can reduce all my seeking to three fundamental things. Everyone has a love to be
(to live), nobody wants to die away. This love for survival is instinctive in every living organism.
This instinct doesn't die away at any time. That I want to live and live a day more, is the Universal
Urge. The conclusion that I am a mortal is the basis for the urge to live a day more. No human
being can accept a total decimation. I always want to survive.
It is natural because, at this moment, I am alive as a person. I cannot visualise, a total absence
of myself though there is an appreciation, that I will pass away. We don't give up our attempt to
live. That is because there is love for ETERNITY. There is a love for survival and to escape from
the thraldom of time. Love to be free from the hold of time is expressed in various forms.
Nobody wants to be old. If you ask one's age, you are in for a bluff. If he is 36, he will say he is
32. If he is 54, he will say he is 51. If he is 73, he will say he is 85, because he wants you to
believe that in spite of being 85, he is still strong and healthy. Nobody wants to age and pass
away. The love to be is very universal and this love is really to be free from the hold of time.
But there are people who do commit suicide. It seems they love to die. Why should they commit
suicide? If everybody wants to live there should be no suicide at all in the society. But we do
know that there are suicides. How can we say then that everybody wants to live? Well, that is
because there is an equally powerful urge to be happy.
The first urge is, I want to live. The next is, I want to live happily. For the time being, if I am
convalescing in hospital I am ready to deny all pleasures that I generally seek, in order to
survive. Once I survive I want to live happily. People do commit suicide not because they want to
die, but because they have concluded that they will not be happy in future.
Though it is erroneous, the conclusion that there is no chance of being happy in the future makes
a person want to commit suicide. Here is a person (M) who has a bunch of pills in his hands and
he is going to swallow all of them to commit suicide. And I (S) happen to be there and ask him:
Swami (S): Hey! What are you doing?
M : Swami, I am going to die.
S : But why?
M : Well, Swamiji, I don't think in this life, I would be happy anymore.
S : Why? You are okay. Your health is okay; the body is fine. Why can't you make yourself
happy? What's the problem?
M : Well, Swamiji, I have lost all my money.
S : How much money?
M : So many thousands of dollars.
S : What did you do? Did you go to the races or gamble?
M : No Swamiji, I did some business.
S : What happened?
M : I lost. Everything is gone Swamiji. I am answerable to so many people and I have no money.
I have no faith in the society. I want to die.
S : Okay. Do you want to die for these few thousands?
M : Yes Swamiji. For you Swamiji, it is just a few thousands. You are a Sadhu. Perhaps it is
nothing for you. For me it is all that I had. All my life savings are gone.
S : Okay. Suppose I ask somebody to help you now with the money?
M : Really! When Swamiji?
S : Tomorrow.
M : Really Swamiji?
S : Yes
M : When should I return?
S : You need not return till you make enough money.
M : Really Swamiji? What is the interest?
S : No interest. It is interest free loan.
M : Really Swamiji! When I make the money I will return! Thank you. Thank you so much
Swamiji.
Now, he didn't even decide to drop the bunch of pills that was in his hands, in order to do
namaste to me. They got dropped very naturally. Do you know why? Because he wants to live
and he thinks he has a future. Unfortunately, he equated money to happiness. That was his
problem. Not having known the moneyed people intimately, he thought anybody who is moneyed
is happy.
He had not observed himself before when he had all the money. He had been unhappy even
then. Due to this wrong equation, he decided to die. But later, when he saw he could make up for
the loss, the pills got dropped naturally because the love to be (to live) is equally powerful as
even the love to be happy.
IN THE VISION OF VEDANTA - I Am What I Want to Be (Part 2)
The third fundamental urge is that as a human being, one cannot stand ignorance. Everyone
wants to know. This love for knowledge is not a prerogative of only an educated person. Even a
villager who has never gone to school, also love to know. There is no one who doesn't want to
know. You may wonder, “Swamiji, why then people don't go to school?” I would say, there are
many ways of learning. It is not that school-going alone makes you an educated person.
Suppose, you are a married person, tell your wife, "I have got a great secret to tell you. Don't tell
anyone ". She says, "okay, I won't tell anyone. “What is the secret? ", she asks. You say, "I will
tell you tomorrow." Can she keep quiet till tomorrow ? No, she will ask, “Tell me now. What is the
secret?"
You will reply, “Well I will tell you tomorrow". Then she begins to question him for a binary answer
(yes or no) - “Oh, is it about my brother? No. Is it about my mother? No. Oh, about my boss? No.
Then what is it about?“ Then again, you will have to say, “I will tell you tomorrow.”
The whole night is lost in guessing as to what the secret would be because nobody can stand
ignorance. In fact, everybody thinks he is a genius. A gentleman was getting admitted in hospital.
He was a little "Mental". He had filled up a form with details of name, sex, age, problems, his
address, his profession, his qualification, etc. This was given to the doctor.
The doctor saw it and asked him, "What is your name? "He did not answer. "What is your age?"
He did not answer. "What is your problem?" He did not answer. Then the doctor wrote "Deeply
depressed. Admit him immediately". His brother then asked him, "Why didn't you answer?" He
said that the doctor is a fool. "I have already written and given it to him. He is keeping the paper
in his hand and asking me! Does he think I am a fool?"
No one thinks of himself as being an idiot. At least one wants to be knowledgeable. That is why
we can never call a person an idiot without a protest from him. He tries to prove that you are an
idiot: your great grandfather is an idiot, everyone is an idiot. How can you call him an idiot?
Everyone thinks he is knowledgeable because, everyone wants to be knowledgeable. The love
for knowledge is something very common to all under the sun. Therefore every human being has
got these three urges. I WANT TO LIVE, and LIVE HAPPILY WITHOUT BEING IGNORANT.
This is something common to all.
VEDANTA says, these three urges are illegitimate. How is that? Let's look at this. If "I want to
live" is the urge then it comes from the conclusion that is centred on yourself as a person, that
you are subject to ageing and death. The second conclusion is "I am unhappy, imperfect and
insignificant". The third conclusion is, "I am ignorant".
Now, in the vision of Vedanta, which we saw, Aham - the Atma, "I" is unlike everything else,
being not at all available for comparison with anything. The self is the self-evidence being whose
nature is self-effulgence -- Awareness. Awareness is not subject to time or space. Timelessness
is intrinsic to Atma and is the very nature of Atma.
Your concept of time goes away in deep sleep and the same time, you are very much there. You
are not gone and thus time can resolve into yourself. Kalo Jagat Bhaksakah, Kalasya api
Bhaksakah Ayam Atma. Even as you devour the food-the world- time gets devoured in the
process.
N THE VISION OF VEDANTA - I Am What I Want to Be (Part 3)
Though time is a great leveller, Atma swallows time and still continues to be. Otherwise in deep
sleep, can you survive without time? When you are sleeping you don't know time at all. You have
no knowledge of what time is. That is why nobody can ever say, that I slept so many hours and
so many minutes. You can say how many hours were you in bed but you can't say you slept six
hours and twenty-five minutes.
It is not possible to record the moment you go to sleep and for the number of hours and minutes you slept.
There is no time or space in sleep. That is why in the sleep a Raja and a beggar are both one and the same.
The Raja is sleeping within the palace and outside the palace the beggar sleep on the floor, looking at the
stars. The Raja snores away and so does the beggar. There is no beggarly or kingly-sleeping.
This is brought out beautifully in our Upanishad, "Andhah Anandho Bhavati",the blind is no more blind in
sleep. One can't say it better. When he is awake he is blind. But the moment he goes to sleep, he is no more
blind. He is not aware of the fact that he is blind.
The one who has proper eye-sight is the same as the blind man while he sleeps. There no difference. When
the great musician sleep, even he is a Sangitajna, he is no more a sangitajna. In the state of deep sleep there
is no "Sruti" for him. All music is gone.
“Andhah Anandho Bhavati" is an excellent expression in the Upanishad. The blind is no more blind in
sleep because the very concept of time, space, place, situation and attributes all of which belong to the
mind and body are completely resolved.
Into whom? Into yourself. You are very much there indeed! That is why you can up and say "I slept well ".
Otherwise, how can you say you slept well? Therefore you are simple Awareness, free from time and
attributes, Timelessness is your nature.