Your Beliefs and Self Esteem

In order to win a national championship, you have to play like a

champion. Playing like a champion starts when you think like a
champion. No all-star athlete gets in the game thinking that they
can’t achieve greatness. No one overcomes their fears without the
belief that one day, it can be done.

Your beliefs have a big impact on your ability to get the things you
want out of life. “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it
can achieve.” This is a quote from Napoleon Hill’s
masterpiece, Think and Grow Rich. The road to financial success is a
fairly different road than the one to everlasting love. But they are
paved with the same thing: a strong desire to reach your goals and a
set of beliefs that tells you that you can.

How Your Mind Can Build a Path

Toward Partnership
Want to attract the right person into your life? Learn the Law of
Attraction.

The Law of Attraction is the guiding principle of The Secret and

other best-selling self-help books. It says that if you visualize what
you want, and truly believe that you are going to get it, you will get
it. The universe will do everything it can to bring what you want to
you. This could be a new car, a better job, or the love of your life.
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking “The world doesn’t work like
that, this is all voo-doo hippie crap”.

This sounds easy, but when you read the literature behind it, you’ll
discover that it requires some self-reflection and effort. Not only do
you have to create and embody positive beliefs, but you also have to
eliminate limiting beliefs.

 
I have an online course that breaks down the Psychology of Beliefs,
the Law of Attraction, and other concepts that will help you create
strong, effective beliefs. In this book, I’m going to stick to the
basics. Even the most subtle changes to your beliefs can help you
see a world where you can achieve anything.

Discovering Your True Beliefs About Love

Before you start driving to your destination, you have to know
where you are. The process of changing your beliefs starts with
recognizing them. This is where mindfulness begins to have a real
impact on your dating journey.

Sit with yourself for a moment. Keep a journal nearby if writing

helps you sort out your thoughts. Think about where you would like
to see your dating life in five years. After some time, think about
what you believe your dating life will look like in five years. Who
will you be with? Where will you be in your lives? What next steps
do you plan to take together?

 
Be honest with yourself. Be mindful of your true beliefs. In order to
sustain a long-term relationship with an honest person, you will
have to start being honest and authentic with yourself. 

Eliminating Limiting Beliefs and

Changing Them Into Encouraging Beliefs
What do you currently believe about love? Have you purchased this
book because you know that the person for you is out there, but you
just need some help finding and attracting them? Or was this a last-
ditch effort because you’ve screwed up so many times and you’re
hopeless?

This second option sounds more negative than the first. It’s not
helpful, either. If you’re holding onto beliefs that sound negative
and limiting, it’s time to eliminate them.

Limiting beliefs look and sound like this:

●    “I’m going to be lonely for the rest of my life.”

●    “That girl doesn’t want to be with a guy like me.”

●    “I can’t do anything about this - I’m stuck being a loser or an

unattractive guy.”

We all hold onto limiting beliefs that hold us back from going for
what we truly want in life. Discovering and discarding the limiting
beliefs is the first step on your journey.

The best way to eliminate limiting beliefs is to replace them with

encouraging beliefs. Even if you don’t embody these beliefs quite
yet, keep them close - because one day, they will be true.

These encouraging beliefs sound like this:

●    “There is someone out there for me - I just have to find them.”

●    “I have a great personality and would make an excellent partner!
I just need to find someone who realizes that.”

●    “Throughout this journey, I might face some rejection or make

some mistakes. But that is all a part of life. I am just looking for ‘the
one,’ not ‘everyone’ to like me!”

The difference between limiting and encouraging beliefs is

astounding. Limiting beliefs close you off. They come from a place
of helplessness. You won’t put yourself out there to be accepted
because you have already rejected yourself.

Conversely, encouraging beliefs open doors, and come from a place

of abundance. Even when a door closes, you know that your journey
is not over. The possibilities are endless because you continue to
search for them and make them for yourself. At all times, you
should be choosing encouraging beliefs over limiting beliefs.

Boosting Your Self-Esteem

What do you believe about yourself?

Do you believe that you are a catch? That the right person is out
there, waiting to meet someone like you? Or do your limiting beliefs
tell you otherwise?

It’s easy to see how your belief system influences your self-esteem.
If you are held back by limiting beliefs, you might not have a great
view of yourself. Since you have a negative view of yourself, that’s
going to directly affect your confidence and your actions… and thus
your results.

As you start to eliminate limiting beliefs, you will start to replace

them with beliefs that help you. The person you see in the mirror
will change, too. When you believe that you are successful, you
walk taller. When you believe that you are loved and worthy of love,
you will smile more. When you believe that you are confident, you
feel more comfortable in your own skin.

In later sections, we will discuss the importance of big, dominant

body language that displays confidence and charisma. When you
have high self-esteem, you will take on this body language naturally.
In fact, the definition of confident body language is derived from
someone who is confident no matter the circumstances. You’ll start
to display dominant, confident body language without any
awareness that you’re doing it in the first place because your actions
will be a byproduct of your confidence.

How To Boost Your Self-Esteem

That journey is not easy. If you’re not in such a good place right
now, you may have to break down thoughts and feelings that you
have held onto for a long time. Limiting beliefs, however silly they
may sound, are things that you indeed believe.

Use the CAFI System

In the next section, I will demonstrate how I have eliminated
limiting beliefs and created a more powerful mindset for myself. It’s
called the CAFI system - if you commit to using this system and
embodying more positive beliefs, you’ll start to see changes in life
that you could have never imagined before.

The best part? It’s simple.

Take Action
The journey doesn’t stop in your head. Self-esteem is an opinion
about ourselves, formed as we listen to our beliefs and observe our
behaviors. In order to improve your self-esteem, you will have to
make improvements to your beliefs and behaviors.

Before you form opinions about others, you watch their actions and
observe their behavior. We do this our whole lives without thinking,
often subconsciously. Mistakes or moments of weakness may stick
out in your mind and you might start to tell yourself that you’re a
bad person. The more you tell yourself this, the more you will
believe it. Instead, start to show yourself the good things that you
can do and the good person that you are. 

To have better self esteem, start with changing your actions. Write
down on a piece of paper the type of person you want to be. You
might choose words like:

●    Accountable

●    Attractive

●    Funny

Now, write down some behaviors for these traits and consider them
for your to-do list this week.

Follow through with promises:

●    Go get a haircut

●    Go to the gym

●    Find out who the top five comedians are right now and watch
their specials

These are just examples. You can come up with tons of behaviors
that will help you take on these traits.

When the week is over, look back over the behaviors that you did.
Congrats! Not only did you take the time to write down exactly who
you want to become, but you also took the steps to embody those
traits. Use this as proof to feel better about yourself. Continue on
this path until your confidence soars through the roof!

See how simple this is? The truth is most guys who are in the “pits”
won’t do it though. I hope you do.