 Elephant: I’m a grumpy antinatalist.

I don’t think people should have children and I

like to make everyone miserable.
 Zebra: What is your argument?
 Elephant: The asymmetry between benefit and harm. We have no duty to make
someone happy, but a duty to avoid harm. If we don’t have children, we don’t deprive
them of anything, but avoid their inevitable harm.
 Zebra: But isn’t it consistent with the asymmetry to believe that we’d be better off not
existing, yet that life is still awesome? If we have a duty to avoid harm, doesn’t that
also extend to beliefs that make people feel miserable? Don’t you have an overly
individualistic perspective that ignores net benefits to others and consequences of
beliefs?
 Elephant: No. I will now write a blog about how being happy is morally wrong and
irrational.

 Elephant: I would rather know the truth and be miserable than believe a lie and be
happy.
 Zebra: What does it mean to care about the truth?
 Elephant: If X is true, I desire to believe that X is true. If X is false, I desire to believe
that X is false. Let me not become attached to beliefs I may not want.
 Zebra: Aren’t you also a utilitarian?
 Elephant: Yes. It is best to do what brings the greatest good for the greatest number.
 Zebra: Shouldn’t you then believe what maximizes utility? If believing that X is true
maximizes utility, I desire to believe that X is true.
 Elephant: No. It is proper for me to make deontological arguments whenever I feel
like it, and still call deontology a rationalization of cognitive biases.
 Zebra: Can’t you self-modify to believe the truth and still feel happy? A lack of skill
is not a virtue. You are just bad at feelings.
 Elephant: No. My emotions are untouchable except when it involves feeling superior
to others.

 Elephant: Let me tell you about how life is meaningless. There is no objective
purpose in life. People just make up stories and ignore evidence that contradicts them.
 Zebra: But all stories are made up. This does not make them less meaningful.
 Elephant: Yes it does. Objective things do not need to be created.
 Zebra: Ice cream is also created.
 Elephant: Ice cream is not objective. Ice cream is meaningless.
 Zebra: Why do people need meaning?
 Elephant: Because it makes them happy. Without stories, life is unbearable.
 Zebra: Then why do you tell me that life is meaningless? Don’t you want people to be
happy?
 Elephant: No. It is necessary for my complaining to feel meaningful that I ignore that
it contradicts itself.