HOW WE EXPERIENCE ANXIETY

TODAY
BY KELSEY GRIPENSTRAW
MAY 11, 2020

Illustration by Katherine Lam

The world today is full of anxiety and uncertainty. As Covid-19 sickens millions and economies grind
to a halt, our work, families, and communities have irreparably changed. Many of us are unsure when
we’ll see our colleagues or clients again. We’re across the country or even the globe from our loved
ones. Our work lives and home lives are messily colliding. We’re seeing high levels of pressure to
work harder and longer — or we’re suddenly without a job. On top of it all, the health of our
communities is at risk, with little relief in sight.
To better understand how we’re collectively handling this moment, we reached out to HBR readers in
mid-April to learn about the particular ways in which Covid-19 is affecting their anxiety. Specifically,
we asked five questions, which were answered by more than 300 people from over 60 countries.
More than half of the respondents care for others at home, whether it’s children or an elderly relative.
Nearly 30% are or were executives, about 25% individual contributors, with the rest leading projects
or teams. The five questions we asked are below, with answers from our community in written, video,
and audio formats broken out by common themes.

We hope reading, watching, and listening to their stories can help you better understand what your
colleagues, employees, and friends may be struggling with — and help you feel less alone. You may
discover new tips for managing yourself and others, too. Ultimately, each one of us is facing new
challenges, which can serve as a reminder that acting with kindness toward each other and ourselves
is paramount. Megan, an executive who works in social services in Canada, summed it up nicely and
echoed a message we heard from dozens of readers: “I’m trying to remind myself that I’m doing the
best I can and that’s all I can do.”

WHAT’S MAKING YOU ANXIOUS TODAY?

Things are hard at work right now. They’re also hard at home.

“Being an introvert and suddenly having my family home 24/7. I need my personal space. Substantial
drop in family income putting pressure on finances. Having an 82-year-old father with terminal
cancer and diabetes who doesn’t seem to get the seriousness of the need to isolate. Having a son
who has landed in hospital before for respiratory issues as a result of viral infection. Knowing that
stress and anxiety before has led me to depression and generalized anxiety disorder that had a real
impact on my mental and physical health.” —Shelly, executive in health and safety, Canada

“I am trying to balance my energy throughout the day so I can be a parent to a five-year-old with
autism, and a communicator at Oregon Health and Science University, and keep my house up and
running. I see it as managing three big projects. I need to be creative, positive, and reliable in these
three areas.” —Mariana, individual contributor, United States

“Too much household work, cooking — and husband doesn’t share the load.” —Aarti, individual
contributor in technology, India
We’re isolated — from society and our loved ones.

“I am a physician in Brazil and work in ICU twice a week. I decided to live alone to reduce the risks of
contamination. Unfortunately I am away from my family. I visit them almost every day but I have to
stay two meters away and wear a mask. I know that in every place, people are facing challenges much
bigger than me and I hope that the things become better soon, but the distance from my family is
something significative for me too.” —Hugo, manager in health care, Brazil

WATCH: Noor, project lead in the travel industry, Canada

“The fear of never visiting parents who are 76 and 86. They live in North Carolina. I live in Ohio.” —
Carol, individual contributor in consumer goods, United States

HAS YOUR WORK SITUATION CHANGED SUDDENLY? TELL US ABOUT THIS CHANGE
AND HOW IT’S AFFECTING YOUR ANXIETY.

We’re facing pressure to work harder. We’re also feeling the expectation to be available for a
much longer workday than usual.

“I generally work remotely, so the work itself has not changed dramatically. What has changed is the
expectation to be on at all times of the day. What used to be a nine-hour day is now 11 or 12 hours
with expectations to respond after hours.” —Anonymous executive in pharmaceuticals/biotech, United
States

01:04
LISTEN: Katherine, project lead in technology in the United States, on an unexpected challenge of
working from home

“I’m working long hours because in the day I’m doing housework like cooking and cleaning and in the
night I do my professional work. Sometimes I can’t do it as I’m so exhausted from the day’s work.
With work from home I feel like the 9–5 Monday to Friday has changed to 24/7.” —Anonymous
individual contributor in public health, Pakistan

It’s tough being physically isolated from colleagues and clients.

“My workplace has been activating remote work opportunities for some time, so we are all used to
this. What’s new is never seeing colleagues and clients in person. There’s a social aspect to work that
helps us to all thrive as human beings. Face-to-face collaboration is fulfilling, and the new reality
keeps us walled off from this.” —Kim, executive in marketing and communications, United States

“The largest change is communicating. Before, when everyone was in the office, it was easy to have a
face-to-face conversation. Now, communicating through email, phone, or FaceTime, the tone or heart
behind a message gets lost, creating needless animosity.” —Dusty, executive in construction, United
States

We’re doing our jobs from home — where many of us are also caregivers.

“I’ve always loved getting outside and being active — far more so than my husband and son.
Suddenly I’m spending 90% of my time at home, and I’m juggling work meetings and deadlines with
care for my three-year-old son. There just aren’t enough hours in the day to care for an active toddler
properly and do my job to the best of my ability.” —Anne, individual contributor at HBR, United States

WATCH: Daryl, executive in education, United Kingdom

“I was working in Switzerland and commuting back to Portugal every weekend to be with my wife and
daughter. Now working 100% from home. Difficult to focus on the job while managing a 21-month-old
kid, especially with a physician wife working at the hospital. Longer, but less productive days. I am
feeling like I am missing out, have less productivity, contribute less.” —João, project lead in
pharmaceuticals, Portugal

“Balancing home school, working from home, breastfeeding, being a mom, and being a wife has
definitely caused more anxiety. I used to have a nanny that would help us and my mom would help us
while I was at work, but they are both over 60 so we’ve been staying away from them so they don’t
get sick. It’s hard balancing everything and staying home all the time versus getting out of the house
to go to work and get a break.” —Jessica, executive in advertising, United States

Some of us are struggling with no longer working at all.

“I am suddenly without work. I am a single parent and have always worked over 40 hours a week in
retail management. The retail outlook right now is dim and that scares me. How am I supposed to
support my kids?” —Jennifer, team manager in retail, United States

“It took ages to get the company to approve work from home! And then two weeks into WFH, I was
laid off amongst many others. It’s a disappointment. I feel let down by the business. I am appalled by
their lack of perspective and their focus on the short term, as well as their complete disregard to the
people who’ve worked so hard for the business.” —Anonymous executive, United Arab Emirates

“I had just quit my job as a senior associate in a top law firm in Chile in March, in hope that I could
find something where I could combine work and a life. Worst timing ever. Now, I don’t know what is
going to happen this year in the economy, and whether I will be able to find a job.” —Anonymous
individual contributor in law, Chile

WHAT SCARES YOU ABOUT LEADING YOUR TEAM RIGHT NOW?

Remote work can be challenging — especially when it isn’t the norm.

“The fact we are working from home and there is no way to monitor what they are doing.” —
Shevanthi, executive in fashion, Sri Lanka
“Working from home — with low-technology capacity of most African organizations and high costs
of internet connection. It becomes almost impossible to fully coordinate teams.” —Golooba,
individual contributor in NGOs, Uganda

“Becoming detached, and to an extent also losing control. I have way less of a picture currently of
what my (very young) team does, even for critical tasks with deadlines.” —Anonymous online
manager, Germany

In many cases, we’re not able to take care of our employees in the ways that they need right
now.

“Not being able to keep them safe. Not having the right resources to keep up with the ever-changing
situation. We are not getting information fast enough and don’t have enough staff to implement all
recommendations.” —Pamela, executive in long-term care, Canada

“I am worried that they are struggling more as people, partners, and parents and I can’t help.” —
Andrea, manager in health care, United States

“That they may be suffering from lack of money, resources, and connection. Some have mental health
issues that worry me during social distancing. I’m also worried I won’t be able to give them all the
support they need remotely.” —Victoria, manager in retail, Canada

Or we worry that they’ll burn out.

“My team are working very hard in a difficult and frightening situation where they have poor
work/life boundaries, limited access to their support networks and activities, and very little control
over their work or workloads. I’m afraid they will burn out, I’m afraid that any existing mental health
problems will be exacerbated (I know mine are), and I’m afraid they will ask me to help them with
this and I won’t be able to do anything to help. I’m pitching in with the work where I can, trying to
create psychological safety as far as possible and keeping up good humor and social interactions,
taking time to strengthen our relationships in the team and with colleagues, and helping them
reprioritize on the hop. But this thing is bigger than anything I can do for them.” —Anonymous
manager, United Kingdom

“That my team could burn out. A lot of the team are working extra hours not because it’s needed —
they say there is little else to do. Not everyone seems to manage the sudden change to working from
home as well.” —Annett, project lead in medical supplies, Ireland
It’s hard to provide direction when things are changing rapidly.

“Not being able to give them a sense of security. Not being transparent enough. Not being present
enough. My leadership is not being clear about what to communicate and what not to, which is
causing rumors to fly and trust to be eroded.” —Liz, manager in government, United States

“What scares me right now is the inability to provide clear answers to them. As a leader I always
believe in transparency and in keeping the team fully informed, but today we are adjusting to day-to-
day policies undertaken by governments.” —Ingrid, executive in consulting, Spain

WATCH: Shalu, executive in organizational consulting, India

“I’m concerned for their future, and leading with confidence, empathy, without giving false hope.” —
Louis, executive in financial services and education, South Africa

And we’re concerned about making mistakes that could affect how much we’re trusted.

“The fear of making incorrect decisions that would lead long-term to broken relationships.” —
Sebastian, manager in hospitality, Australia

“What scares me most is how I will be remembered through and out of this pandemic. I have had to
furlough over 200 employees in the last 60 days — how do I regain trust? How do I rebuild and gain
the momentum we had going forward as we come out of this?” —Jason, executive in corporate dining,
United States

TELL US SOMETHING YOUR MANAGER IS DOING THAT’S AFFECTING YOUR ANXIETY

— IN HELPFUL OR HARMFUL WAYS.
Some managers are responding to the situation by micromanaging — or, conversely, are
disappearing when their employees need their help.

“My manager is leading from fear. Everything requires four layers of approvals. A lot of
micromanaging. There’s a lot of ‘suck it up, it’s for a good cause’ messaging that is excusing bad
manager behavior.” —Liz, team manager in government, United States

“Nothing — no support, no comms, no helpful guidance, no presence. Makes you feel alone.” —
Anonymous manager

“One of my employees got let go and I absorbed their workflow. There’s a lot of pressure to do more
with less and it’s definitely added to my anxiety. Some days I don’t hear at all from my boss and it
gives me anxiety that I’m not focusing on the right tasks.” —Gabi, manager in marketing and event
production, United States

But many managers are working hard to support their employees.

“My manager has organized quick daily informal calls with me to help lower my anxiety and cope
with the situation. We share one positive for the day, which gives a reason and motivation to find a
positive story in my life every day.” —Wajeeha, individual contributor in public service, Canada

“My company and my manager are being exceptionally good these days, holding virtual coffee
breaks, having a shared channel to publish pictures with kids and pets, offering tools and being open
to listen and be flexible — more than usual.” —Denise, project lead in business software, Brazil

“[My manager is] always available (during work hours) for a chat or input. He’s happy to talk about
work or Covid-19 or other concerns. It helps me feel supported and humanized — not just another
cog. He’s open with information and shares as much as he can.” —Shannon, project lead in software,
United States

TELL US ABOUT SOMETHING YOU’RE DOING TO EASE YOUR OWN ANXIETY.

We’re breathing deeply and meditating.

“Meditation. Less news following. More charitable contributions.” —Robyn, individual contributor in
academia, United States

“I do deep-breathing exercises. And I plan ahead what to do on the next day or further so that
everything is in place.” —Mahmood, manager in IT, Bangladesh

“To be able to ease my own anxiety I started doing 30-minute yoga every day. This is helping me
release energy and negative thoughts to focus on what is important. I am trying to not think about
the future, but moreover take one day at a time. When I see myself feeling anxious about the future,
about the unknown information this whole situation has, I start praying and putting all my anxiety in
God’s hands. This spiritual way of handling things I have to admit is helping me a lot to cope with the
stress this whole sanitary crisis gave me.” —Laura, executive in digital marketing, France

We’re moving and trying to stay busy.

“Making a conscious effort to not stay idle and always have something to look forward to learn or do
helps me with my anxiety as it keeps my mind occupied. Also, making lists of things that I can do
during this time makes me feel like I’m being productive and making the best use of this break. I can
finally get around to the renovations, books, series, movies, and recipes that I was putting off due to
work.” —Anonymous project lead in media, Maldives

Download this podcast LISTEN: Lauren, individual contributor in technology from the United States, on
a new ritual she’s developed

“Trying to stay in the moment taking it day by day, using the opportunity we still have of an hour of
outdoor exercises for daily walks, reducing the time reading or watching news to minutes a day, and
engaging with craft-making activities that require a lot of attention to detail to keep my mind off the
current situation.” —Anonymous individual contributor in corporate hospitality, United Kingdom
WATCH: Vessy, individual contributor in culture and diversity and inclusion, Ireland

“I have decided I would weather this storm the best way I can. I’ve been calling it being a Quarantine
Queen, ’cause I’ll rule this freaking thing. Daily exercise is so important, whether it’s five min or hours,
getting fresh air from outside is important. I’ve bought lots of plants and every week I have fresh
flowers to keep things ‘alive.’ I make it a priority to smile to people I meet on the street, say thank you
to all those I can, reaching out to people near and far away — even people I haven’t spoken to in
years! I talk to the family a lot, more than before the pandemic. I’m also taking an online course and
trying to build my own ‘career experience’ campaign on LinkedIn to make sure we continue to share
our knowledge and help each other out where and when we can. I have had a few mentor calls with
young women doing what I have done in my career, and all of those little positives add up to better
days.” —Louise, project lead in technology, United Kingdom

And we’re doing our best to think about the big picture and what we’re fortunate enough to
have.

“Telling myself that after three weeks my family and I are still OK.” —Arnold, individual contributor in
produce, Spain

“I am identifying something positive each day and writing it down in a visible location. I feel very
fortunate that I still have a job to go to and it is a sense of survivor’s guilt that I am still around while
questioning if I am next.” —Katie, manager in events, United States

“I am lucky to have a great therapist who I’ve been able to continue working with via Zoom. It also
helps me to remember that although I feel very responsible for my team during this crisis, they have
their own support networks and lifeline activities too, and the most I can really do is help them keep
work contained as far as possible — through reasonable hours, low stress, and positive, respectful
interactions — so that they can take care of themselves and their loved ones.” —Anonymous
manager, United Kingdom
“I try to convince myself that it’s okay to worry and to have anxiety because of uncertainty and lack of
security. These feelings are not very pleasant, but at least I understand these feelings and I know that
these things are out of my control. The only thing I can do is to stay home and care about people who
are dear to me.” —Aigerim, manager in consulting, Kazakhstan

“Gardening, playing with my son, spending long hours with my wife, knowing they are safe here with
me…This is the right time to be with family.” —Kurt, individual contributor in training and
development, South Africa

“In the end, it’s about having a good life — and only within that, doing a good job.” —Anonymous
online manager, Germany THE BIG IDEA

About the author: Kelsey Gripenstraw is the audience engagement editor at Harvard Business
Review.