My Perfect Guy

Every man has someone who they fantasize about

It's normal and it's healthy yes, it's true.
I used to have a thing for that sexy guy called Sting
And I've dreamed about Zac Efron too.
But lately Zac and I are looking bleak
There's someone else I'd really like to meet

I fancy the Pope, Oh you may think I'm mad,

I might seem a dope, But he reminds me of my dad

Oh, he's so warm and fatherly, There's nowhere else I'd rather be,
Than down in the crowd at the Holy Sea,
Yes, I fancy the Pope!

I fancy the Pope, Yes he's an absolute blinder

I treasure the hope That I'll find him on Grindr

He travels abroad on many trips,

So that with the world's problems he can get to grips
How I wish I could kiss his wrinkly lips!
Yes I fancy the Pope!

Now certainly I don't mean to shock or to blaspheme,

But when it comes to heroes, phwaaar! That man's a dream!
I know the Church will not be pleased, but Popey wouldn't frown
If there's no way to change the rules, he'll smuggle me under his Papal gown

I fancy the Pope! He makes my heart beat quicker

I doubt I could quantify my feelings for this vicar

I'm wild about the Pontiff, He makes my cock grow harder.

He can fuck me day and night, Until I get the stigmata.

Let me live my fantasy,

Of Benedict and Pope Paul V
'Cos I'm in love with the Papacy! Yes
I fancy the
Fancy smansy the
I fancy the Pope
A-Men!
This Stage

This stage bears all the scars of a Closet Ball celebration

It wears each make-up stain like a general's decoration
This stage knows all of us, it's heard us laugh and cry and sing and curse
We take our places every show, for better or for worse

But through the pain and through the pleasure

We know it cannot last forever.

Write one name fewer on the line-up,

Ignore the crowd, the empty spaces,
Share out all leftover makeup,
Try not to count the missing faces,
Time is a thief that steals our treasure
Life doesn't give, it merely lends,
So laugh and cry in equal measure,
And celebrate when we were friends.

This stage has seen us during trials, tribulations and glories

If it could speak then it would spill a thousand secret stories
It's brought friends together, enemies as well, both young and old,
For when we take the stage, we are forced to share our soul.

So sign the leaving card, remember

One last photo here together.

Write one name fewer on the line-up,

Ignore the crowd, the empty spaces,
Share out all leftover makeup,
Try not to count the missing faces,
Time is a thief that steals our treasure
Life doesn't give, it merely lends,
So laugh and cry in equal measure,
And celebrate when we were friends.