One Couple Two Careers Part 2

BLANCA VERGARA
ONE COUPLE, TWO

CAREERS – PART 2
MASTER THE ART OF
LOVE AND CAREER
2
One Couple, Two Careers – Part 2: Master the Art of Love and Career
1st edition
© 2019 Blanca Vergara & bookboon.com
ISBN 978-87-403-2909-4
3
ONE COUPLE, TWO CAREERS – PART 2 Contents
CONTENTS
About the Author 5
1 What you need to do 6
2 Set your intention 8
3 Being present 14
4 First Quarter 22
ANYTIME, ANYWHERE
LEARNING ABOUT
SAP SOFTWARE HAS
NEVER BEEN EASIER.
SAP Learning Hub – the choice of
when, where, and what to learn
4
ONE COUPLE, TWO CAREERS – PART 2 About the Author
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Blanca Vergara is a woman on a mission: To heal the fear of the builders of the Heart
Centered Economy. She is an epicness strategist, author and motivational speaker. She dares
us to let go of blame, fear or complacency and play real big. She dares us to embrace risk,
seek new experiences and learn from setbacks. Organizations such as Shell, Roche, Johnson
and Johnson, the Rotterdam School of Management and Delft University of Technology
are some of her clients. Blanca is a former corporate executive with a master’s degree in
Information Technology, a coaching certificate and an MBA.
She has over 25 years of international business experience. She honed her business skills
with important organizations such as Price Waterhouse and the European Space Agency.
Her strong academic background, solid corporate experience, plus her Aztec heritage make
her a mentor who not only understands the challenges of modern life, but also has the
vision and innovation to overcome them.
She lives in Amsterdam with her two children and the love of her life. She also speaks
Spanish and Dutch.
Meet Blanca Vergara online and receive free training at www.blancavergara.com
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ONE COUPLE, TWO CAREERS – PART 2 What you need to do
1 WHAT YOU NEED TO DO

This book will guide you in a process of rewriting your old mental beliefs on the subject of
love as well as on career, success and money. You will identify the most unproductive beliefs,
substitute them for new more supportive ones and solidify the new ones by consistent action.
The One Couple Two Careers Framework will facilitate this transformation. It opens
your life to more love. It will help you invent a new way of being that is more authentic,
powerful and lovable.
As we discussed in the previous section the One Couple Two Careers Framework is composed
of those 4 + 1 new habits that you’ll need to implement to be able to master the art of
love and career. These habits will be implemented during an entire year. This design allows
you to take on this habits for the rest of your life. After all, mastering the art of love and
career is a lifetime project.
This framework will generate changes in your career and your love life by creating profound
changes in you. Therefore, concentrate on what you can control: your behavior and your
thoughts. You cannot control anything else. As much as you want to, you cannot control
your partner’s behavior or thoughts. However you have all the power to change your mind
and your habits.
Now, even if this is a personal transformation journey you can also share it with your
partner. This will allow you to have conversations you never had before. You will get deeper
insights about your fears, hopes and visions of the future. This will of course allow you to
make better choices together – without any concern for other people’s judgments. You two
could finally decide where to move, when to have a child, whether to take that promotion
or to open your own business.
Presence is a supportive habit. It is meant to facilitate the adoption of the other four habits.
It is meant to stay constant for the entire year. Think about it: Being present is the most
invaluable asset for your success in the bedroom and in the boardroom.
The other four steps are meant to be repeated in a cycle. Each step will correspond to a
quarter of the year. By focusing on each theme for 3 months you will be able to truly
change your habits of thoughts and actions on that particular subject. Every quarter you’ll
be focused on one different intimacy acceleration subject.
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ONE COUPLE, TWO CAREERS – PART 2 What you need to do
The framework was explained in Section 1. Besides, I also explain it in a free master class
I have prepared for you. You can access it here:
www.onecoupletwocareers.com/resources
The journey starts by setting your intentions for the year. First you will see where you are
and where you want to be. This will allow you to make an assessment at the end of the
year so you can see how much you have grown in love, joy, strength and independence.
As you work through the process you will be able to experience more and more love. You
will be able to allow more and more love into your life. You will be more open to receive
and to give. You will be lighter and ready to give all this love back to the world. You will
be ready to be of great service and contribution to the world.
You won’t need to wait long to see results in your life. In fact, you will start seeing changes
from the moment you commit and set your intention.
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ONE COUPLE, TWO CAREERS – PART 2 Set your intention
2 SET YOUR INTENTION

This is ground zero. Now you will start your journey to allow deeper intimacy into your
life. By following this process you are taking the first step of the journey and opening the
door to possibilities.
Life Satisfaction Assessment

First I invite you to grade your level of satisfaction in the following areas of life. Just simply
give it a number from 0 to 10 in each area of life. 0 is extremely bad and 10 is awesome:
• Money and finances

• Business and legacy
• Relationships
• Health and wellbeing
• Play and adventure
• Physical environment
• Personal and spiritual growth
Money and Finances

10
8
Personal and Spiritual 6 Business and Legacy
Growth
4
Physical Environment Relationships
Play and Adventure Health and Wellbeing
Which are the highest graded areas of life? Congratulations! These are the areas of life that are
providing satisfaction in your life. You need to nourish them and allow them to nourish you.
8
Which areas were not that shiny? Pick the worst performers. Pick the 2 that are causing
the most pain in your life and consider this question:
How would you like these areas of your life to look and feel?
Don’t think about your current reality. Don’t think about impossibilities. Don’t think about
anything that holds you back. Just think about how you would like these areas of life to
look and feel. Just write what YOU want. Be specific and positive. Write your answers below.
1.
2.
9
Love satisfaction assessment

Now you will analyze your love satisfaction level. Grade the following love areas in the
same way from 0 to 10:
• Mental: You have very clear communication with your partner. You can air ideas
easily. The relationship is intellectually expansive.
• Physical: There is fire between you. There is passion and excitement at the
physical level.
• Emotional: There is calm and safety in the relationship. All flows easily.
• Spiritual: There is solidity in your relationship. You feel grounded in it. You are
growing together with solid roots.
Mental
10
Spiritual Physical
Emotional
Now consider the highest graded area of love. Congratulations! This is the area that is
providing satisfaction in your life. You need to nourish it and allow it to nourish you.
Which area was not that shiny? Pick the worst performer. Pick the one that is causing the
most pain in your love life and consider this question: How would you like this area of
your life to look and feel?
Don’t think about your current reality. Don’t think about impossibilities. Don’t think about
anything that holds you back. Just think about how you would like these areas of life to
look and feel. Just write what YOU want. Be specific and positive. Write your answers below.
10
Your Intention: Your End Game

After these two exercises, it must have become clear what your core intention of this journey
should be. If you still doubt, just imagine: If you had a magic wand, how would your life
look and feel if you had the courage to make it so? Answer below:
A Contract With Yourself

This process only works with your commitment. Without it there is nothing. To make this
real, now you will sign a contract with yourself. Don’t take this contract lightly. When you
commit to unleashing your highest self, all will conspire with you to make it happen. Make
this decision today and commit to it. You are meant for greatness. This is your starting
point for this journey.
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3
This is your first step. Take it.
This is your contract:
I, _____________, decide today that I am an evolving being. I am meant for growth, for learning
and expansion. Nothing is fixed in my life: not my qualities, not my shortcomings. My intention
is possible.
I, _____________, understand that I am undertaking an intensive, guided encounter with my own

Self. I, ___________, commit myself to the twelve month duration of the course. I, ___________,
commit to read each quarterly chapter as well as the daily, weekly and quarterly planning and
review.
I, ____________, further understand that this program will raise issues and emotions for me to
deal with. I, _________, commit myself to excellent self-care (adequate sleep, diet, exercise, and
pampering) for the duration of the course.
___________________
Signature
___________________
Date
Rewrite this contract in your own handwriting. Feel each word. Commit to each statement.
Pay attention to each word. Use the space in the following page to do so.
12
13
5
ONE COUPLE, TWO CAREERS – PART 2 Being present
3 BEING PRESENT
Have you noticed that sometimes you are somewhere, but you are not truly there? In fact,
this is the number one complaint of all couples in trouble. Both partners feel lonely; they
are lonely even when they are together. They might be in the same room, sharing the same
food at the table. However they are as far away from each other as someone can be. Their
eyes are somewhere else. Their thoughts are somewhere else.
This often happens naturally. We think about our current work projects. We think about
the children. We think about our aging parents. We think about the mortgage, what to
cook tomorrow, the next car payment… The list is endless.
We live in the age of distraction. Multitasking has become normal. It’s so rare to see people
at a café talking to each other without looking at their smartphones. It’s so rare to see people
looking in each other’s eyes.
This is precisely the fundamental skill you’ll use the whole year. You are going to be present
in your life and your relationship. Being present not only opens a flow of love and harmony,
ANYTIME, ANYWHERE
NO-LIMITS LEARNING
LEVERAGE
LEARNING ABOUT SOCIAL LEARNING,
COLLABORATION,
SAP SOFTWARE HAS QUALITY
CONTENT,
NEVER BEEN AND HANDS-ON
EASIER.
PRACTICE.
SAP Learning Hub – the choice of
14
but also nurtures a spiritual connection in yourself and with your partner. Being present is
the number one secret of success.
From now on, you are going to give yourself permission to feel all, to be fully present,
to learn, to invent and to experiment. You are going to give yourself permission to be a
pathfinder in your life, to write your very own personal story. You are going to give yourself
permission to be fully alive. Allowing yourself to be present has so many benefits. Some
top benefits are:
• Improved intimacy
• Increased creativity
• Decreased stress
• Decreased overthinking
• Increased playfulness and fun
• Increased openness
Taking on this habit is tremendously challenging. Nowadays our attention span is decreasing.
Experts are talking about an attention span shorter than that of a goldfish. Yes, they say
that a goldfish pays attention for 2 seconds more than us. Its attention span is 8 seconds,
while ours is just 6.
Well, if you want to increase your productivity and success at work, embrace being present.
If you want to be deeply happy at home, embrace being present.
Before we go into the practicalities on how to be more present, we need to accept something
quite fundamental: We are unable to be present 100% of the time. Let go of that expectation.
Don’t expect it from yourself. Don’t expect it from anyone else. Don’t expect it from your
partner. As we are unable to be constantly present, our task is to adopt habits that will bring
our attention back to the present moment whenever we catch ourselves “somewhere else”.
Are you ready to practice different techniques to do so? Are you ready to even invent some
techniques of your own?
Breathe
Love and fear are at opposite sides of the spectrum. When you are in fear you cannot give
love and you cannot receive love. When you are in fear you cannot think. All our blood
goes to our arms and legs, to run away from the lion. Our prefrontal cortex is out of the
15
loop. Yes, that part of the brain that makes us humanly brilliant is not in use when you
are in fear.
On a physical level, they are a set of chemical reactions that express love or fear. When you
release oxytocin, you are in love. When you release cortisol, you are in fear.
The great news here is that you can control these processes with your breathing. The same
mechanism that produces fear also produces excitement. That mechanism is your breathing.
The way you breathe creates a series of chemical reactions that make you feel either excited or
terrified. This makes breathing the quickest way to bring you back into the present moment.
Do you want to try?
First feel the fear: Start breathing in and out in a very shallow, very fast way through your
mouth. The air should go in and out very quickly. This breathing is just like actors breathing
in a scary movie. Are you already experiencing the sensations of fear? Knots in the stomach,
fire in your limbs? Have you generated enough stress hormones? You are ready to run away
from the lion. All your blood is in your arms and legs. No oxygen is going to your brain.
With this breathing you become less intelligent and more reactive. That’s fear.
Now, let’s feel the love: Start breathing as deep as you possibly can through your nose.
Breathe in and count how far you can go. Breathe out and count again how far you can
go. Feel your body’s sensations. They are so different. You have generated oxytocin. You are
sending oxygen to your brain. You are becoming more intelligent and proactive. That is love.
As this kind of breathing sends oxygen to your prefrontal cortex, you become more aware
of the present moment, of its nuances. You become fully present. You will be able to notice
your own body. This is of tremendous value as your body sends you messages about your
feelings. If you are feeling tightness in your throat, you are feeling disempowered to express
yourself. If you are feeling pain in your stomach, you are feeling weak and unimportant. This
information is extremely valuable as you can take appropriate action upon this knowledge.
You can investigate what makes you angry, disempowered or weak. Then you can choose a
remedial action for those feelings, and calmly discern what is the most important.
The other huge benefit is that it allows you to communicate more accurately with your
partner. This will create a bridge of empathy between you. This is extremely valuable as
none of us are mind/heart readers.
When I was pregnant, my husband wanted to know how I was feeling. Answers like “fine”
or “in pain” were not enough to truly connect us in the experience. So I learned to observe
16
my body sensations to communicate them to him: I feel pressure in my lumbar vertebrae,

I feel warmth in my tummy, my palms are sweaty. Of course to be able to discern these
sensations I took these deep breaths.
This breathing also brings your attention to the present moment. As you are breathing you
start noticing everything that is going on. You start empathizing with your partner. You
start noticing your own body’s sensations, your own feelings, and even your thoughts.
Take any fear and do this breathing once. You’ll experience a great change. Do it a couple
of times, and you will fall in love with it and its effects. This, again, puts together what
all the ancient cultures already knew and all the latest scientific knowledge. Just breathe in
and release, with ease, for as long as you can.
Renew Your Vows Everyday

My husband and I are radical on this. We have decided not to ever get married. Our
decision stems from the idea that we constantly renew our commitment to each other. The
door is open. There is no contract. We have the choice to walk out anytime. Every day we
chose to be there.
This choice is similar to the “24 hours” philosophy. We are together just for these 24 hours.
We love each other just for these 24 hours.
When I presented this idea in one of my workshops, a participant asked me if that was
irresponsible. My immediate reaction was the word: realistic. Our approach is practical.
What else can you promise, but the present moment? You cannot guarantee that you’ll be
there forever. You cannot guarantee that a car won’t run you over this afternoon.
Having this perspective every single day, you’ll be more present for the joys of the moment.
No matter if you are already married, copy us. Copy the philosophy. Feel the freedom
of choice every single moment. All you do for your relationship should emanate from a
conscious choice. Don’t take actions out of habit or obligation. Feel that freedom. Live in
the moment.
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Plan And Measure

To implement presence as a habit in your life, during this journey together you will consistently
review your progress. You will have daily, weekly and quarterly reviews. This will allow you
to focus on the present moment and actually translate what you have learned into action.
As mentioned before, every quarter will be dedicated to one intimacy acceleration subject.
So in order to inspire your planning you should read the introductory chapter of each
quarter. With it you will be able to plan your quarter, your weeks and your days. This will
be the guiding light that allows you to keep focused and do deep work.
At the end of each quarter I offer you a series of questions that will allow you to review
and appreciate your progress. It’s very important that you are very appreciative and loving
with yourself. You need to focus your attention on progress. Avoid paying attention to the
gaps. That will prevent your advancement.
Weekly Planning and Review

Weekly you will follow a very similar process. You will set your theme for the week to guide
you in your choices. The theme should inspire you and excite you, as you will be taking
new and expansive actions. Some of my favorite themes are: simplify, release, rest, just do it
and ease into the plan. It’s at the top of the page, however this should be the last thing you
write during the weekly preparation. First you have to know your priorities, your challenges
and your opportunities to be able to set your theme of the week.
You will set up your top 3 priorities, those actions that you should get done. Yes, you
will translate your intentions into actionable items: seduce your husband, cook for your
wife, meditate, find a cleaner, find a nanny… You have to be very specific and clear on
these actions so that you can actually do them. Start small, very small. Make tiny little
improvements as you go along. Planning huge things and failing to accomplish them will
have an adverse effect. Plan small, plan for the long run. You will be amazed by what tiny
changes can do for you.
Think about your challenges and opportunities for the week. I love to be brutally honest with
my challenges. I just say what bothers me even if I would never admit that in public. Things
like caring for my children during the last week of holidays, welcoming a guest at home,
etc. By accepting that these are my challenges I can translate them into my opportunities:
Enjoy the opportunity to build brilliant memories in the childhood of my children, learn
and be inspired by my guest.
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Every quarter I will suggest to you an intimacy accelerator question. This is a reflection that
you need to remember weekly and even daily. This is not to be answered in words, but in
actions. Read this question every week and just ponder it. Give it space. Feel it. Don’t dare
to answer it. Just see where it takes you.
No great achievement is possible without persistent work.
– Bertrand Russell
Daily planning and review

In the early morning start your day strong by considering the following:
1. Gratitude: You will remember all those things that make your life awesome. You
will list your top 3 reasons to be grateful. Feel deep gratitude and joy. Feel the
awesomeness of those blessings. Write these every morning in your weekly pages.
2. Priorities: Then set your priorities for the day. What are your top 3 outcomes
you want to see at the end of the day? Follow the same philosophy as with
the weekly priorities: Be very specific and clear, start small and make tiny little
improvements as you move forward. This will allow you to build momentum
and self-belief.
3. Breathing: During this journey you will learn new ways of being, thinking and
acting. It will be uncomfortable. It will be a stretch. You can use your body to
ease, accelerate and solidify this learning. Every time you feel some discomfort in
the coming year, breathe. Breathe in. Quiet down and look with curiosity at the
message your body is giving you. Breathe in. Become aware. The more in tune
you are with your body, the faster and easier changes will be. Remember this
every single day.
At the end of the day follow a similar ritual.
• Successes: Every night acknowledge yourself. Give yourself the appreciation
you deserve. Identify your top 8 successes. Sure, we all have days when our
performance, energy or courage have a dip. Still you should always recognize
your successes. Building the appreciating muscle will allow us to dare more
and grow further.
4. Serendipity: Also list those gifts that just landed on your lap:
• That perfect phone call you received: inspiring, timely and perfectly fitting
your intentions.
• That parking space located in the right place for you.
• The realization that your whole life is a miracle.
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Acknowledging those small and huge miracles in your life allows you to attract
more of them. They allow you to be in the flow of things. They allow you to be
more present and open to receive what you have intended.
• Lessons: The third thing to remember before you go to bed is what you learned
that day. Emphasizing learning has the great magic of expanding your horizons.
When you do so, a brand new world opens up. You start hunting for new
frontiers to explore: cooking, Italian, the Second World War, human hormones,
taxes, investments… Learning keeps you alive. Remember: if you are not
learning, you are not growing. If you are not growing, you are dead.
• Forgiveness/Frustration/Fascination: The fourth and last thing to reflect upon
at night is who you left out of your heart that day. Was it your child who
misbehaved? Did you forget that he’s just a child? Was it your partner who
didn’t arrive on time? Who didn’t behave to your expectations? Shower them
with compassion. Appreciate that what they did was the best that they could
have done at that moment. Be aware that this might include you. Compassion
is an extremely powerful success and intimacy tool. Yes! When you build the
compassion muscle, you open your life to great abundance: joy, money, love,
health…
Every success has a measure of sacrifice; if you are not willing

to pay the price, don’t’ expect to get the prize.
– Harshasha
To make this program work you will need to commit to doing this planning and reflection on
a daily basis. This time investment is indispensable to be able to experience the transformation
you are looking for. What is 10 minutes if it will stop the chain of pain and fear running
for generations in your family? You will make time for this. Yes, at the beginning you will
need to get used to it. However, I promise you that after a couple of days you won’t be
able to live without this reflection.
Let’s Do It
This year you will be developing the skill of presence. You are going to practice being where
you are. What happens when you are present in where you are? You enjoy more. You feel
everything. You are able to express your true feelings. You are able to make better decisions.
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Practice asking yourself this question daily:
How can I be more present now?
Enjoy seeing brighter sunrises. Enjoy seeing your partner as more handsome/beautiful than
ever. Enjoy the pleasure of the small and the sublime. Enjoy being alive. Be present.:
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ONE COUPLE, TWO CAREERS – PART 2 First Quarter
4 FIRST QUARTER
CLARITY
The relationship I had before meeting my husband was the perfect preparation to welcome
real love and a fulfilling career. This wonderful ex told me something so valuable when he
split with me: “Blanca, I don’t love you. You deserve someone who truly loves you”.
Of course, in that very moment I was furious, devastated, hurt. I cried all night. I let it
sink in. He was completely right. I deserved someone who loved me. At that moment I
didn’t believe in the existence of someone like that. Who could love me? Who could love
the real me?
Before I met this ex, I was peace personified. I was the most diplomatic and politically correct
woman you ever encountered. I never gave my opinion about anything. I calmed agitated
debates and brought peace everywhere I went. There was never any argument around me.
I never expressed my opinion during heated debates on any taboo subject. I would never
speak about religion, politics or sports.
It sounds idyllic, doesn’t it?
Let’s look at its shadow. Well, I didn’t have any strong opinion about anything. Which food
did I like? Which music did I like? Which political views did I support? Which clothes
were my style?
By pleasing everybody, I didn’t know what I stood for. By pleasing everybody, I was like a
faceless robot. My wardrobe was a mismatch of thousands of different styles. I would eat
what my peers ate. I would not vote. I would celebrate whatever music was playing. I was
adaptable to any circumstance.
Who could fall in love with someone who had no opinion, no style, no choice? How could
a person without a strong opinion be a leader and successful in business?
That ex-boyfriend forced me to choose sides. We had agitated discussions on all topics:
politics, music, art, history, business… He wanted me to say what I thought. He was not
satisfied with my grey response that all was fine, all was possible.
After we went our separate ways I decided to claim my own likes and dislikes. I decided to
research who Blanca Vergara is. I wanted to uncover my essence. What makes me truly me?
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So I started exploring different styles of music, and art in general. I started getting involved
in politics and reading a lot of history books. I started to develop my own clothing style.
Being closer and closer to my essence made me attract the man who loves me. Thank you
very much, clairvoyant ex. I was able to connect so easily with my husband because his
essence resonates so much with mine.
Being closer and closer to my essence allowed me to make career choices more aligned
to my personality, my desired lifestyle, my leadership style, my strengths, and my desires.
Now I don’t survive work. Now I’m nourished by it. I’m excited to serve my customers.
I’m creative and engaged.
What about you?

Are you like I used to be? Are you nice? Accommodating? Do you have a pleasing personality?
Chances are very high that you are very similar to me. Pleasing and fitting in allows you
to thrive in academia and in business. They allow you to build a great CV.
Chances are that despite (or maybe because) all your talents and drive you are lost in the
woods of frustration, overwhelming feelings and stress.
How is that possible? How is it possible that talented people like you are not shining as
bright as they should? How is it possible that talented people like you are struggling in
their intimate lives?
Paraphrasing Marshal Goldsmith, what got you here won’t get you there. What has made
you so successful at work or in your academic life won’t continue working at higher levels
of the corporate ladder and at deeper levels of intimacy.
Knowing what to answer in an exam gave you wonderful grades. You learned how to say
what they wanted to hear. You learned how to repress your own judgment and repeat what
is expected from you. You applied it at work and it gave you the promotions. As we have
seen before, this is called pleasing. Remember pleasing is a dangerous killing fallacy. It not
only kills your relationships, but also your business success.
Pleasing is doing and saying what they expect you to do and say. This gains acceptance,
promotions, and relationships, but at a very high price. Your creativity, your authenticity,
and your talent are just copies of what is expected. You become a slave to those expectations.
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The better you comply, the more is asked from you. The better you comply the further away
you are from what you truly want. Your agenda gets full of appointments and projects and
you don’t even know if they contribute to creating the life you want.
Your own talent got you into this problem. You could do it, so you did it. You faced
challenge after challenge because you were capable of solving them. Did you ever ask yourself
if you really wanted it? I studied information systems because I was good at math and most
importantly because I wanted to be a good girl. I wanted to please my dad, showing him
that I was intelligent.
From early childhood, you are discouraged to state what you want. You are discouraged
to say no. If you want to be a good boy or a good girl, you need to comply with what
is asked from you and you need to accept what is given to you and say thank you. God
forbid you say no. That would be disrespectful and unkind.
Look what this has brought you. You are running from one meeting to another. You have
no time to eat. You have no time to look into the eyes of your partner or your child. You
have no time to breathe or sleep. You keep wondering how you can fit it all in. You keep
wondering how you can achieve the infamous “Work Life Balance”.
THE ANSWER
ANYTIME,
NO-LIMITS ANYWHERE
LEARNING
TO
YOUR LEARNING NEEDS
LEVERAGE
LEARNING ABOUT SOCIAL LEARNING,
GET
SAP QUALITY,
COLLABORATION,
SOFTWARE FLEXIBLE, AND
QUALITY
HAS
ECONOMICAL
CONTENT,
NEVER BEEN AND TRAINING WHEN
HANDS-ON
EASIER.
AND
PRACTICE.WHERE
SAP Learning IT’S
Hub – the choice
of NEEDED.
24
It’s impossible for you to plan your days. They are a constant reaction to the most pressing
issues. You run faster and faster, trying to do it all. Your to-do list is an endless list controlled
by “them”.
When you go to bed you are tired, not satisfied. You feel out of control. You don’t know if
you did all that needed to get done. There is no time for what you truly want – and you
might not even know what that is.
Could there be an alternative?

What if it was truly possible to choose? What if it was possible to set your own limits?
What if you just made it possible? What about starting to listen to your own intelligence
and intuition to make your choices? What about choosing your projects? Your parties? Your
clothes? Your food? Your books?
What would that life look like?
Imagine.
You will pursue that one project that excites you, that makes you wake up in the morning
with the enthusiasm for doing it. You will be able to plan the most productive actions
towards the success of this one project. You will have mental and emotional space to be
fully present with your loved ones. You will be fully present when you hug your partner.
You will be fully present when you play with your kids.
Imagine.
No more searching for your work life balance. Being fully present in the moment for the
activities that you choose to do. Doing less, much less. Doing it better, much better. Earning
more financially and emotionally. Having more impact. Having true impact.
Imagine.
Working and living on purpose. Doing the work that contributes to your legacy. Having
the intimate relationships and experiences that nourish you, empower you and delight you.
Imagine.
A life where you love 100% of what happens to you, 100% of what you own, 100% of
what you do. A life full, totally full of satisfaction.
25
Letting go of stuff has many great advantages. It will make you faster at decision making.
You won’t suffer what they call Decision Fatigue: You won’t be tired by tiny, silly decisions.
You will contribute to the improvement of the economy. By not supporting the fast fashion
industry you will contribute to better working conditions, including the reduction of child
labor. Letting go of disrespectful business partners will contribute to the acceleration of the
emergence of the heart-centered economy. The more people doing business with respect
would generate a more human and humane economy.
Letting go of your negative friends will also help them. They will realize that they need to
get their act together and start taking personal responsibility.
Even more, letting go will give you a radically new life. Think about it: What kind of life
do you really want? What would your tombstone say?
He didn’t do what he wanted, because he never had time.
or
She was so busy, we never knew her.
Wouldn’t you like a different future? What would you really like your tombstone to say?
What would you like your legacy to become?
Your legacy is not going to be built one day in the future. Your legacy is what you do now.
The memory you will leave is also built right now. Every opportunity you miss to say “I
love you” won’t come back. Today is your day.
Look in Table 1 at the difference between the confusion life and the clarity life. When you
are trying to do it all, you are living in the left column. All is overwhelming and stressful.
Your health and your relationships are negatively affected.
26
Confusion life Clarity Life
Motto I can do it (all) I choose what I do
Asks How do I fit it all in? What has priority?
All with minimum time and

Does One thing with all it takes
attention
Owns Clutter A few high quality items
Relationships Many and superficial Few, profound, empowering
Wellbeing Poor Vibrantly alive
Table 1. Confusion Life vs. Clarity Life
You surely know this, but still have a packed agenda, a heavy bag and a bursting garage.
You might not be able to imagine a life with one item in the agenda. You might be able to
imagine your life with dedicated time for your partner without any guilt, stress or distraction.
Maybe the prospect of building such a life might feel scary to you. It may sound like adding
yet another thing to do.
We have been conditioned to believe that we have no choice. We have to finish our plate.
We have to finish watching the movie. We shouldn’t quit. We must go on no matter what
is negatively affected, and that includes our happiness and our wellbeing.
It’s difficult to let go. We have become attached to things we don’t use, jobs we hate, books
we don’t read and even to people we don’t really like. We have become attached to this way
of living. Everyone suffers this. It’s unimaginable any other way.
Let us examine the “reasons” why we accumulate so much clutter. Clutter is not just things,
but also senseless projects, old ideas, bad habits and toxic people. Clutter is anything that
does not support your better self.
27
6
The 6 Delusions of More

1. Eternal pursuit of ROI
You keep clutter because you paid a huge price for that stuff. You stay in the
same profession you don’t like because you have invested so many years in it. You
maintain those toxic relationships because you have invested so much time in them.
This kind of clutter represents what in business is called sunk costs. A sunk cost is
one that has already been incurred and cannot be recovered.
The past is the past. You made that investment and it’s gone. You might even
know that wise investors recommend that sunk costs shouldn’t inform your future
financial decisions.
Start applying that in your decision making. Let go of the belief that you need to
get the return in your investment. It was not an investment, it is a sunk cost. Let
it go. Move on.
Donate those items. Give them to someone who would love them.
Quit, even if just in your mind. Start investing in your new career. See your life
blooming and you’ll be able to quit for real.
Kindly decline the invitations from those “friends”, the toxic ones.
2. Better the devil you know

One of my coaching clients is a manager who recently became a mother. When
she went back to work after her maternity leave, she was convinced she wanted
to quit her job and start her own business. She discussed with me her different
business ideas and designed a plan to make them happen.
After a month at work she had a very different feeling. She felt that her job was
not that bad. It’s easy. It somehow contributes to the good of humanity. They pay
well. It’s not that bad.
“It’s not that bad” is maybe the most dangerous mental trick that keeps us in
confusion. This is why you keep the pajamas with holes, the alcoholic depressed
friend, the disrespectful and arrogant customer and the boring job. They are not
that bad. You can deal with them.
28
Underneath that sense of assurance that you can deal with that, there is a sense
of fear of the unknown. If I let go of this friend, who will I hang out with? Who
would like to hang out with me? If I let go of this customer, who will buy from
me? If I let go of this job, how else can I pay the mortgage?
Living life by dealing with stuff is called surviving. You are not meant for that.
You are meant for thriving.
The fact that you can deal with something doesn’t mean that you should. The
fact that you can cope with the demands of a job you hate doesn’t mean that you
should. The fact that you bought the ticket to that disappointing movie doesn’t
mean that you should watch it to the end.
Open your imagination to a greater reality. It is possible to have a life of growth

and joy. That life has less, much less (stress, projects, people), but is radically much
better.
3. Being prepared for everything

When a dear friend of mine got pregnant, she asked me: What do mothers carry
in those huge bags? She referred to the ever-present bag that mothers carry when
they go out with their babies.
My answer was short: their fear.
Mothers who carry huge bags are afraid that something will go wrong and they
won’t have the resources to deal with that. So they carry diapers, one for each hour
they’ll be out, plus a few extra – just in case, wipes – not just for diaper changes
but also for sticky hands and dirty surfaces, hand sanitizer, changing pad, plastic
bags, bottle(s) of formula, snacks, blanket, nursing cover, bib, burp cloth, extra
clothes for their child, you never know…
Can you imagine how long it takes to prepare such a bag? Can you imagine the
life that this kind of mom has? Isn’t she forgetting the most important thing (i.e.
being present for her child)?
Needless to say I have chosen to be a ‘bad mom”; in other words, I have chosen
not to live in fear. So all I used to carry during their babyhood was two diapers
and cleaning wipes. Did I ever encounter challenges walking around? Of course, I
found all kinds of challenges, but I also found the solutions and I didn’t have to
carry them.
29
Think about it: This mundane example translates into any area of your life. Let’s
take a business situation. I remember an MBA buddy who wrote the perfect business
plan. He spent years and years writing it. It had everything planned and measured.
He knew how much every single item in his financial plan cost. He thought about
everything. He was preparing this huge “bag” of certainty. Do you know what
happened with his venture? It never started. He never had the courage to actually
execute it. He didn’t pack the essential: action.
When you carry so much, you carry all those items plus your fear. It’s a very heavy
load. To move faster in life (at home and at work), let go of fear, and carry a big
dose of resourcefulness.
What do you carry in your bag? Make it lighter, add resourcefulness and you are
ready.
4. More is better
Have you noticed that you wear a very small portion of your wardrobe, that you
have fun memories of very few events, that very few customers provide the majority
of your income, that very few projects have great impact?
Society has bombarded us for years with the idea that more is better: Supersize me
at McDonalds, the constant renewal of the fast fashion industry, having more likes
on Facebook and more contacts on LinkedIn…
Being busy has been glorified. Everything is urgent. Everything should be done
yesterday. We live in a constant state of emergency. What is truly urgent? A lion
chasing you? Unlikely! Busy people fill up their lives with artificial urgencies to
postpone the important.
However in reality, more is not always better.
First, take the Pareto Principle. For many events, roughly 80% of the effects come
from 20% of the causes. This was first observed by a 19th Century Italian economist,
Vilfredo Pareto. He noticed that that 80% of Italy’s land was owned by 20% of
the population. He then carried out surveys on various other countries and found
to his surprise that a similar distribution applied.
This distribution repeats itself constantly in many areas of life. So, why more?
Why not concentrate on that 20% that provides the most? Why not concentrate
on the projects that expand us, use our talent, and make us happy? Why don’t we
30
just choose the experiences that deepen our intimacy, challenge us, and make us
more human? Why not?
Now, consider the Law of Diminishing Returns. In productive processes, it pays to

invest more time, effort or any other resources during the most productive stage.
This is followed by “Diminishing Returns”. This is, each added resource leads to
a decreasing rate of output. At this stage you should stop adding more. If you
continue adding, you’ll reach “Negative Returns”. In this stage, not only do you
not get a return for your effort, you decrease your overall output.
My father explained this law to me when I was a child using the example of the
construction of a room. When you build it by yourself it might take you two
weeks. When you build it with a friend, it might take you 1 week. This shows the
first stage: “More Productive”.
When you have 7 people building the room, it might take the very same two weeks
that it took when you were by yourself. So even if the time has not increased, the
cost has grown 7 times.
If you decide to build this same room with 20 people, you might build it in 4
weeks. They will need to coordinate themselves. They will have a hard time getting
to the raw materials. They will be in each other’s way.
Both the Pareto Principle and the Law of Diminishing Returns prove that the
popular belief that more is better is not only wrong, but dangerous. The benefit
of adding more to your life has a limit. If you want to be happy and successful
you need to find the point of contentment and sufficiency. You need to find your
most productive stage, your 20%.
5. Yes, mom. Yes, boss. Yes, darling

Have you noticed how much goes into your agenda because you cannot say no,
because you aim to please? Have you noticed how much ends up in your garage or
wardrobe because you want to fit in with what your peers have? Have you noticed
that you eat more when your mom/partner offers you a little bit more?
You say yes to so many things that you want to say no to. You do so because you
want to be good. You want to be good husbands or wives, good citizens, good
employees, good parents, good friends…
31
You don’t know how to say no. You comply. You are good. Science has been
fascinated with this phenomenon. The Milgram experiment is the quintessential
experiment on obedience to authority.
They asked volunteers to give feedback to a person answering a test. Every time the
person answering the test made a mistake, the volunteers administered an electric
shock. The electric shocks increased in intensity as the mistakes accumulated. In
fact the mistakes could accumulate until a lethal massive electric shock was given.
The volunteers could hear but not see the reactions of the person answering the test.
When the volunteers hesitated to go ahead with the stronger electric shocks, there
was a researcher acting as an authority figure. They would say: “Please continue”,
“The experiment requires that you continue”, “It’s absolutely essential that you
continue” or “You have no other choice”, “You must go on”.
Let go or be dragged.
– Zen Proverb
The researchers wanted to know how many people would actually give the fatal
massive electric shock. Before the experiment they expected about 1% would do
so. The results were and are still shocking. 65% of the participants gave the massive
lethal shock. This experiment has been repeated in different ways and results are
quite similar. Once an authority figure is set, people tend to comply.
What does this tell us about human nature? When there is an authority figure, we
tend to say yes no matter what. We tend not to listen to our own compassion and
not even to our own reason.
Let go of the fear of saying no. You are not being “bad”, cruel, selfish or insensitive.
In fact, being selfish is charitable. When you focus on just your 20%, you’ll be
operating at your higher level of contribution. You will be able to provide your
best gifts to the world.
Isn’t it time for you to become the authority of your own life? Isn’t it time that you
conclude the experiment? With your current knowledge, what would you now say
no to? It’s not absolutely essential that you continue. You have many other choices.
You are free to stop. You are free to say no.
32
6. Perfectionism
One talented law student wanted to study for a master’s degree. She had a pile
of brochures from all the master’s programs in international law provided in
Europe. Can you imagine how tall the pile was? She didn’t rule any of them out.
She wanted the top schools as they might give her prestige upon graduation. She
wanted the other schools as well, as it might be easier to enter those. She had all
the universities in her country because relocation wouldn’t be an issue. She also had
all the other European ones, because she thought international experience would
certainly be a plus.
Needless to say, she couldn’t decide. She had so many potential programs she could
follow. She wanted to make the perfect decision.
The search of perfection slows down our decision making and the complexity of
our projects. And when perfectionism is shared by both partners, decision making
is almost impossible.
How do you want your life to be?

Do you want to remain a victim of old choices? Remember, it’s your life. You need to
immediately start clearing your life of all that confusion and feeling overwhelmed. You
don’t need to wait one day. One day is today.
Is it in your YES List?

Let’s start with something simple. Think about your clothes. There are two sweaters. One
you wear often. You feel good in it. It’s warm. It’s comfortable. It’s most definitely in Your
Yes List. The other one is ok. You paid good money for it. You don’t feel good in it. It’s
the wrong color. You keep promising yourself that you’ll wear it one day and strangely that
day never arrives.
Why do you keep the second sweater? It’s not in the YES list. So, it is in the NO List.
Let’s increase the complexity. You own your own business. You have a customer that asks
you to do more and more work. He honors your time, follows your advice, and refers
you to other customers. And there is another customer who complains, asks for discounts,
doesn’t pay you on time, and arrives late to meetings.
33
Why do you keep selling to the second customer? It’s not in the YES list. So, it is in the
NO List.
Let’s increase the complexity. You have a friend who is great to be with. He challenges you,
he makes you laugh, and he is doing terribly inspiring work. There is another friend who
criticizes everything and everyone. He is a disengaged employee. He gossips and complains
constantly.
Do you keep in contact with the second friend? It’s not a YES. So, it is a NO.
Whether objects, activities or people, if it’s not a YES, it is a NO. You become what you
surround yourself with. Why should you please the fashion industry and wear the latest
fashion? Why should you keep serving a customer who doesn’t appreciate you? Why should
you hang out with people who bring you down?
How can you discern?

There are three variables that you need to consider when differentiating between a yes and a
no, between the essential and the accessory: Your feelings, your objectives and your legacy.
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34
• Your Feelings: How does it make you feel? Guilty? Like you’re wasting your
talent? Energized? Challenged? Do you want to have that feeling?
• Your Legacy: Is this your legacy? Is this how you want the world to remember you?
• Your Objectives: What is your goal now? Is it useful to you now?
The elements that combine positive emotions and contribute towards the long term and
the short term are your 20%. There are the only activities, objects and people who need to
be in your life. The rest needs to go. The rest is a NO.
Take action now. Ask yourself: Knowing what I know now, what would I have acquired
these things? Open your agenda and list all those events you wouldn’t attend. Open your
wardrobe and take out all those items that you wouldn’t have bought. Open your contacts
and make a list of all those toxic people.
Now make a plan to get rid of all of that. Cancel those meetings or parties. Donate or
give away those clothes.
Physical Stuff
Letting go of physical stuff has tremendous benefits. It makes you faster, more focused and
less stressed. It takes decision fatigue out of your life. Making choices becomes easy as pie.
Getting rid of stuff is daunting. After all, stuff costs us money. After all, it’s full of memories.
This huge resistance to let go of stuff is how stuff owns you, controls you, manages you,
slows you down, and keeps you away from what you really want.
To start the process of letting go, pick an area of your house that has been accumulating
loads of stuff. I love to start with my wardrobe. I take everything out of my closet and
organize it in the following 4 piles:
• I love: Here I put all those things that I genuinely love and use. They fit me
perfectly now. They are now fashionable.
• Repair: Here I put everything that needs some work by the tailor, the
drycleaners or myself.
• Out of my life: All these things go away. Donate. Trash it. Give it as a gift.
These are things that I really don’t like, don’t wear, are out of fashion, don’t fit
me anymore.
• Maybe: The rest of the clothes go here. Here are all those pieces that I don’t
really love and don’t need repair. However I am not ready yet to let go of them.
35
After I have done that separation, I hang up my “I love” bunch. This provides such a sense
of wealth and happiness. My closet is 100% beautiful. Every single piece is perfect. So you
have your ideal wardrobe. If you have a problem identifying what you truly love, imagine
that you just populated your wardrobe from scratch. What you just hung up is what truly
represents you today.
This process doesn’t need to be restricted to clothes (shoes, bags, hats…). You can apply it
to books, kitchen utensils, food, articles, magazines, software programs, DIY tools, CDs,
DVDs… This is an introductory exercise in love. As you have grown disconnected from
what you truly love, this exercise helps you remember that in a very simple fashion.
Get rid of the big distractions

It is also very important to make this and any other connection time effective, you need
to avoid distractions. Switch off the TV or, even better, kick it out of your life all together.
Switch off your smartphone. Use any of all the presence techniques you have learned:
breathe, appreciate and choose growth.
Do you know that we haven’t had a TV for more than 15 years? Yes, we haven’t had a TV.
When I decided to get rid of it, my life blossomed beyond my wildest imagination. I started
painting. I learned to cook. It was amazing how much I suddenly welcomed in my life.
Releasing Tasks
You can even apply this to tasks. Yes! Why should you do tasks you don’t love? I know your
answer: “It needs to get done” (I have to cook dinner, I have to drive home from work, I
have to live here). Why? There are so many other solutions to this. Someone else can cook
dinner. You can change jobs. You can go by public transportation or cycle. You can move.
Yes! You can. It’s not impossible. It’s not unthinkable.
To be able to release activities, embrace the fact that trying to do everything is deadly.
When you try to do so it’s impossible to put your full being, your full attention, your full
genius into any one of these activities. Your genius won’t have a chance to shine. To release
activities you need to consider the next question:
Is this essential? Does this fit with my vision of the future?
36
With what I know now, would I still do this?
The other reason why you do so much is plain habit. You have grown accustomed to doing
certain activities that have zero impact on your wellbeing, your success and your fulfillment.
They are just entertainment. They are just candy. There are empty calories for your soul.
Do you really need to watch football every day?
Do you really need to watch all those movies?
Do you need to watch the news for hours?
Do you need to be on Facebook for hours? Or intermittently for the whole day?
Do you need to post every single thing that happens in your day on social media? What
you ate? What you wore?
What about becoming an actor and not a spectator of life? What about playing your favorite
sport? What about making love with your partner? What about doing something awesome
that is news-worthy – in the media or social media?
What if instead of being lost in what they are doing, you become present in what you are
doing? All this entertainment and soul candy activities won’t be necessary. Your soul will
be filled up with love, growth and activities that contribute to your life.
What do you want to see in your life? Concentrate on that.
I want to have profound conversations with my husband; I schedule time alone with him to
talk about the last book we read, about the last software we discovered, about philosophy,
history, health... During those hours, there is neither space for children nor business.
I want to live my mission. I want to write more books, give lectures, create online programs
and more. I schedule my most productive hours of the day for that alone. During those
times, there is nothing else: no children, no husband, no music, no friends.
I want to play with my children. I schedule 100% play time with them daily. During that
time there are no business appointments.
I want to have a healthy body. I schedule exercise daily. There is nothing else during that
half hour.
37
If there is an invitation to anything else during these four “sacred” reserved times, the
answer is simple: NO.
What are your priorities? Say yes to them. The rest is simply no.
If it is a YES, embrace it. Do it with all your concentration, enthusiasm and power. However
if it’s not essential, if it doesn’t fit your vision of the future, you must say no. You must say
no. It’s imperative that you learn to say no more often, or else you will end up drifting.
You will end up leading a life that pleases no one. You won’t be able to please the desires
of everyone. Most importantly, you won’t be able to look at yourself in the mirror and like
what you see. Imagine what you would be projecting in both cases. When you are trying to
be everything for everybody, you are not attractive to anyone (including your loved ones).
Indeed, when you stand for yourself and say no to the inessential, you shine. You become
magnetic to all the wonders that you need to fulfill your mission.
When you do this conscientiously you will end up with very few tasks. This will allow you
to concentrate and to bring forth your best work. Think about the Pareto Principle, the
80/20 principle. 80% of your tasks generate 20% of your satisfaction, while just 20% of
your tasks generate 80% of your satisfaction. Concentrating on the latter will make you
successful and fulfilled. You don’t really need to do the other 80%. Release those things.
You can outsource, delegate, or automate. Even better, you don’t need to do them at all.
Become a radical in eradicating the inessential from your life. Remove those tasks from
your life and see your genius awake.
Do it together
As clutter accumulates really quickly in a couple with two careers, I recommend you to
have a MMM, a Monday Morning Meeting. During this meeting, you and your partner
will discuss clutter. You will discuss money. You will discuss the parties you’ll attend and
the ones that you’ll kindly decline.
I recommend you to do this consistently. This is training to develop your skills of decision
making together. The easy decisions will train you for the complex ones. The more you do
it, the more you’ll get to know each other. You will learn from each other what is essential
and what is accessory.
You will not only clean your garage, but you’ll build a bond between the two of you. This
bond will be based on the understanding of the essence of each one of you.
38
My husband and I follow this practice at home. So, we have created a handout to facilitate
our discussion. You can have a copy of it here:
www.onecoupletwocareers.com/resources
Quick Tips To Increase Your Clarity

All these tips apply to all kinds of clutter: objects, activities and toxic people.
1. Start slow. Don’t try to tackle everything at once. Start with one room or project
and work your way to a more simplified life.
2. Decide quickly. Clutter is postponed decisions. Decide quickly.
3. Purge often. Make it one of your daily rituals
4. Quality over quantity. Less and better. Get rid of duplicates.
5. “Someday” items need to go. I’ll wear it one day. I’ll read it one day. I’ll
do it one day.
6. If it isn’t a clear yes, then it’s a clear no. Many things are good, many are
important, but only a few are essential.
7. Remove, but don’t discard. Put your items in a box and set them out of
sight. Set a reminder to look in the box in 30 days. Haven’t used or missed
anything? Toss it.
8. Analyze and measure true value. If you are having trouble parting with an
item, analyze what it really means, what it does to you, and whether it has any
value elsewhere.
9. Focus on the good. If you begin to feel uncomfortable letting go of more,
focus on the wonderful things you have. Be grateful.
10. Set exciting goals. Overworked? Plan a vacation that is contingent on getting rid
of your extra stuff. Plan a fun party. Save for a fun adventure. Keep it exciting.
Let’s Do It
Continue cleansing the unessential during the coming 3 months. Every day ask yourself,
What am I still holding on to that doesn’t really define me?
Think about the things that don’t represent you: that skirt that is too short, too cheap, too
old. Think about that project that is nothing else but a distraction towards your destiny.
39
Think about those old grudges you are still carrying. Think about all the expectations that
you have put on your partner.
Be radical. You don’t need to continue carrying all these. Be uncompromising. All the non-
essential must go. Become fanatic about this.
Ask yourself every day, every moment, is this what I want in my life? Does this represent
who I want to be? Make your days perfect, essentially yours, 100% yours. Eat what nourishes
you. Have conversations that empower you. Talk to yourself just in a positive way. The more
authentic you are, the more authentic relationships you will attract. Rock it!
WEEK ___
Weekly theme: __________________________________________________________
Top priorities:
1. ________________________________________________________________
2. ________________________________________________________________
3. ________________________________________________________________
Challenges: _____________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
Opportunities: ___________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
INTIMACY ACCELERATOR:
40
WEEK REVIEW
Highlights Lessons
DAILY REVIEW
INTIMACY ACCELERATOR:
Morning Night
Gratitude Successes
Serendipity
Priorities Lessons
F3
QUARTERLY REVIEW
Life Wheel Satisfaction

Update your life satisfaction and compare it with your original assessment.
41
Money and Finances

10
8
Personal and Spiritual 6 Business and Legacy
Growth
4
Physical Environment Relationships
Play and Adventure Health and Wellbeing
Love Wheel Satisfaction

Update your love life satisfaction and compare it with your original assessment.
Mental
10
Spiritual Physical
Emotional
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What did I do well this quarter? What is the one thing that I’m the most proud of?
Look at your original and current assessments of your life and love satisfaction and answer
this question: Which area(s) of my life and love grew the most?
What was my most important lesson?
43

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ONE COUPLE, TWO

1 What you need to do 6

2 Set your intention 8

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Meet Blanca Vergara online and receive free training at www.blancavergara.com

1 WHAT YOU NEED TO DO

2 SET YOUR INTENTION

Life Satisfaction Assessment

• Money and finances

Money and Finances

Physical Environment Relationships

Play and Adventure Health and Wellbeing

Love satisfaction assessment

Your Intention: Your End Game

A Contract With Yourself

This is your first step. Take it.

This is your contract:

I, _____________, understand that I am undertaking an intensive, guided encounter with my own

Do you want to try?

my body sensations to communicate them to him: I feel pressure in my lumbar vertebrae,

Renew Your Vows Everyday

Plan And Measure

Weekly Planning and Review

No great achievement is possible without persistent work.

Daily planning and review

Every success has a measure of sacrifice; if you are not willing

Practice asking yourself this question daily:

How can I be more present now?

It sounds idyllic, doesn’t it?

What about you?

Could there be an alternative?

What would that life look like?

He didn’t do what he wanted, because he never had time.

She was so busy, we never knew her.

Confusion life Clarity Life

Motto I can do it (all) I choose what I do

Asks How do I fit it all in? What has priority?

All with minimum time and

Owns Clutter A few high quality items

Relationships Many and superficial Few, profound, empowering

Wellbeing Poor Vibrantly alive

Table 1. Confusion Life vs. Clarity Life

The 6 Delusions of More

2. Better the devil you know

Open your imagination to a greater reality. It is possible to have a life of growth

3. Being prepared for everything

My answer was short: their fear.

However in reality, more is not always better.

Now, consider the Law of Diminishing Returns. In productive processes, it pays to

5. Yes, mom. Yes, boss. Yes, darling

How do you want your life to be?

Is it in your YES List?

How can you discern?

Get rid of the big distractions

Is this essential? Does this fit with my vision of the future?

With what I know now, would I still do this?

Do you really need to watch football every day?

Do you really need to watch all those movies?

Do you need to watch the news for hours?

What do you want to see in your life? Concentrate on that.

Quick Tips To Increase Your Clarity

What am I still holding on to that doesn’t really define me?